Cielo's   POV

“Parang wala nang buhay yang gawa mo ah. You used to excel in this field."

My mentor dropped my manuscript. Isang koleksyon ng tula tungkol sa pag-ibig-- in all forms. Connected sila lahat according sa daloy ng buhay ng protagonist sa manuscript. Basically, the idea was the protagonist explores her 'unknown' feelings toward someone else. She describes everything about what love is— without actually saying it is through her poems. Gets ba? Sigh.

Ganda ng idea no? I actually got an Uno from that but it stopped there. Parang nauubusan na ko ng salita. Last year I fell into a tragic slump that I couldn't even look at my manuscript because it felt too distant from who I was when I first started that project.

"Your protagonist has so much love to offer in the book but you couldn't extract it enough for your poems to elicit even a tinge of emotion from your readers ." 

Totoo yun. Kaya nga di ko na siya matuloy. When I first build the character, she was someone whose heart is filled with love and was ever ready to offer it to the world. 

Eh ako?

Tapos na akong magpanggap. I’ve accepted that I wasn't like her...anymore.

"I will give you one last semester to finish this. Pag hindi kaya, simple lang. Magstay ka pa ng isang semester at ibahin completely ang project." mahinahon nitong sabi at hinilot ang kaniyang sentido.

Hay.

Umalis na ako ng faculty at naglakad patungo sa waiting shed. Sinandal ko ang likod sa poste nito at sinubukang kalmahin ang sarili.

Baka naman kaya ko. Alam ko naman ang problema eh. Sobrang tagal naman na kasi nang huli kong sinubukan magmahal ng iba kaya di na ako magtataka kung bakit hindi ko macapture ang tunay na emotion nito at ilapat sa mga tula ko. I must’ve ran out of ink to write about love because its feeling was slowly fading away from my system.

"Andito na kami lahat. San ka na?"  - Text ni Dilaw.

Oo nga pala may klase pa ko. First day palang pero di pa ko tapos sa requirements sa last sem ko. Di na ata ako huminga ever since pumasok ako sa unibersidad na ito.

I dragged myself to walk. Buti nalang ilang metro lang pagitan ng building ko at SA hall.

"SIPAG 101?" Bulong ko sa sarili nang basahin sa aking reg form ang unang klase ko ngayong araw. Sa katunayan, wala talaga kong idea kung anong klaseng subject yan. Basta isa nalang kulang ko at nahila ako ni Dilaw para magenlist.

Bahala na. I've been in the most difficult subjects wala nang tatakot pa sakin.

--

I made my way up sa fourth floor. Medyo wala na masyadong tao sa hallways dahil malamang ay nasa kani-kanilang klase na sila. 

404, 406, 408. 410

..412!

Di ko inexpect na nasa pinaka dulo siya ng hallway. I always thought the last room was a storage room, ginagamit din pala siya sa klase.

"Alon! Alon! Alon!"

Alon? Napasandal ako sa gilid ng pader at dinobol check kung tama bang 412 ang kwartong to.

Ilang kurot pa sa sarili bago ko natukoy kung realidad ba to o panaginip nanaman.

Alon? Ano ginagawa niya rito? Alam kong dito rin siya nag-aaral pero never kong inaasahang makakatagpo kami. Sa lawak ba naman ng Unibersidad ng Gibagip at libo-libong estudyante nito. Hindi rin naman magkalapit ang course namin. Malamang ang building niyan ay ilang kilometro ang layo sa akin.

Sumilip ako sa maliit na puwang ng bintana at nakita ang ilang estudyanteng nagkakantsawan.

"Magddrawing nalang ako, Sir.”

Si Alon nga. Naka-itim siyang t-shirt tucked in jeans. The usual Alon look with her thick shoulder-length hair crowning her at her best. She never changed. That’s why I’m certain it was her.

Right when I was about to run out of ink to write, the original subject of my poems appeared right in front of me.

Nahihiya siyang ngumiti tapos kinuha ang chalk mula sa lamesa. Her hands were a little bit shaky as she drew lines around the blackboard, never second-guessing, she moved her hands as if it already memorized the image in her mind.

That was how also she caught my attention that one summer when she was sketching two old couples on a beach, playing in the waves. That was like 4 to 5 years ago pero interesting na after all those years, I would see her doing almost the same thing.

About five minutes, she was finished creating a simple sketch of an eye. As expected, the room was filled with numerous gasps of awe with the professor showing her a thumbs up.

“Angas!” I suddenly heard Dilaw’s voice ring in the room. That kid. Kung hindi ko lang siya sinunod edi sana hindi ko nakita si Alon dito.

Inipon ko na ang lakas ng loob ko para pumasok sa room. Mas kabado pa ata ako makita si Alon kaysa sa fact na super late na ako. 

I know she would remember me, but I doubt she would acknowledge it.

“Last but not the least…” The professor looked in my direction. I jumped up in shock and quickly compose myself to enter the room.

So kanina pa pala niya ko nakikitang nakasilip?

“Sakto ang dating mo Ms. Cielo Rioflorida,” he commented with a grin on his face. Nakatayo naman ako awkwardly sa door way. I guess ayaw niya ko ibuking, that’s a good th