Mina is known to be the love of everyone's lives. She’s always the one who gets picked when anyone is asked who they want to date or marry. There is not a day in her life that no one has an interest in her. That is why it is always a question why she has never dated or was interested in anyone, not that they are aware of.

She hasn’t been interested in any of her suitors because she already has an eye on someone. It is actually ironic because she thinks everyone else wants her but this person. 

It’s not easy. To be in love with someone who never sees you, to be in love with someone who just knows you’re existing and not actually by their radar, someone who just knows you but doesn’t actually know YOU.

This person is very unpredictable but very transparent, atleast to Mina. She knows when this person is having a bad day or a good day. She knows what she wants to eat, whether a toast or a ramen. She knows when she’s hungover or just tired. She knows it all. 

It’s just a matter of how and why she knows her this much. Is it because she lives with her or just because she really wants this person memorized in her head?

“Jeongyeon-chan? Did you hear me? I said if you want an egg too or just coffee?”

She doesn’t even know why she had to ask because she already knew the answer.

Just coffee.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Just coffee would be amazing, thank you.”

Knew it!

She giggled to herself upon guessing her right but immediately slapped herself after hearing Jihyo’s voice in her head.

Jihyo knows everything. They all live together but Jihyo grew closer to her since they are always left alone in the apartment when Jeongyeon has her own shenanigans. Mina didn’t really open up about it but with Jihyo’s nosy , she peaked on Mina’s laptop and saw her lockscreen, a photo of Jeongyeon and her during their Switzerland vacation. 

From then on, Mina told her everything but Jihyo has always been against the idea. 

“She’s always up to no good, Mina. I am one of her bestfriends and that is why I am telling you this. Whatever you feel towards her, I think you should stop it as early as you can.”

Mina just agrees with her every time because she knows she can’t just stop it like that. She also knows it’s not okay to be in love with someone that has a peculiar taste in their lifestyle. 

“What did you even see in her? I know she has a pure heart with people but you know she’s not the relationship type.”

This made her think as well. She really doesn’t have anything in particular to pick on when reasoning out her feelings for Jeongyeon. All she knows is that she wants to love her.

But why? Are there too many reasons or none at all?

One memory came into her head. Maybe that started all of it which led to another and another and another.

-

It was the winter season so that means flu season is coming. Mina’s the type who does not get sick often but when she does, it’s crucial and severe. 

One morning, she woke up with a fever and body ache. She can barely get out of bed. She tried to check the schedule for the day and was glad that she had the day free or she’ll be damned. 

Although it is a vacant day for her, Jihyo has a scheduled shoot while Jeongyeon, well Jeongyeon is being Jeongyeon probably in someone else’s bed.

Even though she can barely get up, she tried all her best to look for medicine and for something to eat to give her strength.

“!” she exclaimed when she found the medicine cabinet empty. She forgot to restock and had nothing for the flu.

She also couldn’t find anything to eat and just remembered that they had to order take outs last night because they haven’t had any time to go grocery shopping.

Mina looked at the time and it was 3 hours until Jihyo could get home. She was too weak so she went back to bed and grabbed her phone. She texted Jihyo and asked about medicine and food. She fell asleep unconsciously because of dizziness. 

A few minutes passed, and she was woken up by a lot of noises in the kitchen. Seems like someone was in a rush so she gave all her best to walk towards the noises. 

She saw Jeongyeon in an apron, rushing to cook something. It looks like she’s being chased by a bull by the looks of it.

“Jesus! Mina, you scared me!” Jeongyeon was surprised as well by how pale Mina looks. She guided her to the couch and made her lay down.

“Please stay there. And here, drink your medicine while waiting for the seaweed soup, okay? How are you feeling?” 

Mina was confused. She was just staring at Jeongyeon while she hurried back to cooking. She looks like she’s actually out of breath and panicking.

“How.. Why are you here this early? You’re never here this early” Mina asked.

“Jihyo texted me. She said she’ll be awhile in the shoot and you were sick. Why didn’t you call me?”

Jihyo, I’m going to kill you

“I’m sorry if you had to come home for me. I promise I will be okay. Thank you for the medicine, I’ll continue cooking the soup. Please go back to Angela.”

“Hey shh. I want to be here. Who’s Angela? I think I was with Emily? Wait no, Paula? Actually, I don’t remember. I honestly don’t care, you need me. I am here.”

you need me. I am here.

you need me. I am here.

you need me. I am here.

These words kept echoing in her brain. Her blood raised towards her head, her heart started pumping so fast and so loud she could barely hear anything else.

“Are you okay? You look flushed! Mina, lay down please. I will be right here.”

Mina did what she was told to. 

Jeongyeon took care of her all day. She never left the house, never looked at her phone. It was just her and Mina.

Mina can’t help but to see her soft side. Her version where she knows how to be a person, her version she wants to see everyday, her version where she thinks it would feel good to love.

-

From then on, she thinks all Jeongyeon needs is to be loved. She knows this is what she deserves.

But she also knows that Jeongyeon will never see her the way she sees her. She’s never going to be seen how Jeongyeon sees other girls.. Still, she wants to love her. 

Somehow, it is also better that way. She wants to love Jeongyeon but she also wants to protect herself from getting hurt. She’s at that point where she wants her but also knows the consequences. 

She’s still unsure. She's not sure if she’ll gain or lose so much more.

A year of barely hearing from Jeongyeon other than selective group schedules after she moved out of the dorm and stayed with her sister, Mina felt sad but ironically it made her feelings deepened towards the gal.

Now that she’s back with the members, doing regular schedules, she can’t wait to spend time with her again and become closer. Not just for her benefit but for all the members as well.

She actually cannot hide her happiness when she was assigned roommates with Jeongyeon on this fanmeeting tour. The simple eating together after the shows, she’s looking forward to all of it.

It was a long night so she went to shower right away. She can’t wait to eat with Jeongyeon again, it has been a long time since they shared a meal together.

“I’m done showering. Do you want to shower first before we eat or..” Mina asked while drying her hair with a towel.

“We can eat first. I’m sure you’re hungry too. Just tell me if you’re bothered by my smell”

“Not at all. You always smell good.” 

Well . Not even an hour in and I already want to dig my own grave.

Jeongyeon went to shower after they shared a meal so she laid down. All her thoughts rummaging through her head all at once. She feels like she’s going insane.

She closed her eyes as she heard Jeongyeon walk out of the shower. She felt her steps become softer, and seemed to be trying to be careful not to wake her up.

Next thing she heard was Jeongyeon talking and whispering to herself. Her bed wasn’t as far from her plus the fact that it is quiet in their room so she hears everything she’s saying.

“I can’t. It’s not good for her..” 

“Maybe in my next life, I will do better. In that lifetime, I will do my best to pursue you.”

Is she talking about me?

“Mina, you’re too precious. Anyone else would be so damn lucky to be with you.”

Is this actually happening?

“Maybe.. Yup. Maybe in my next life.”

.

.

.

“Why not in this life?” Mina mumbles out loud while she still has her eyes closed.

“Mi-Mina?? You’re awake? , you’re awake. Oh my god, you’re awake. I am so sorry, I thought you were asleep”

Mina didn't say anything. She stood up which made Jeongyeon sit on her own bed. Mina stood in front of Jeongyeon and just stared at her.

“I said, why not in this life?”

Jeongyeon couldn’t let out any words. She’s stunned and as cold as ice. She wants to explain herself but nothing comes out.

“I didn’t know you liked me. After all these years of loving you from afar, I didn’t know you would see me this way. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“M-Mina.. I don’t know what to say. I just don’t think you deserve someone like me.” Jeongyeon finally spewed some words but was still stuttering.

Mina touched Jeongyeon’s cheeks, hovering her thumb on her upper lip. Staring at every corner of her face.

“You can’t decide that for me. No one can ever decide what I deserve or not. I am scared too but I really think it’s worth a try before we both judge the future.”

“I really don’t know what to say.”

Mina drew her face closer to Jeongyeon, hearing her heartbeat so loud once again. She kissed her, she kissed back. It was a deep longing kiss which seems like it has been long overdue.

“You don’t have to say anything. We can just see how it goes. I want it. I want you in this life, Yoo Jeongyeon. Be with me in this lifetime.”

FIN.