It’s 3AM and Kibum cursed whoever it is that calls him in this godly hour. He checked the caller ID, ready to scold whoever it is that called him but instantly stunned when he saw the familiar name. His heart was beating really fast and it was aching so much he couldn’t handle it.

Kibum hesitantly picked up the phone. 

“Jonghyun hyung?”

“Kibum…”  Upon hearing the voice he had missed so much, Kibum finally letting tears flowed. When Jonghyun fell silent, Kibum called him again, afraid that the older has already end the call. But when the man has said that he missed Kibum, all the dam broke. He is sobbing until his breath is hitching.

Suddenly, a pair of hands hugged him from behind. No question asked, just caressing his arm and giving a soothing sound.

Kibum closes his eyes, falling for the comfort given to him until he has some strength to face the reality. After agreeing to meet Jonghyun and ending the call, Kibum turns to face his fiance.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. You need this, Bam. Maybe, you will find closure after you meet him.”

“I’m afraid that I…”

“Sssshhh… I’ll wait for you, baby. Whatever your decision is, I’ll accept that. I won’t force you or anything. Just.. go and meet him. And if your heart doesn't change, come back to me. I’ll always be waiting for you.”

“You know that I love you right, hyung?” familiar sentences but now it's Kibum that is saying this.

“I know, baby. And I love you too. I love you so much that I would do anything for you. Now, let’s sleep okay? You have an important meeting tomorrow.”

Kibum hugged him and let his scent fill his nose. He loves his fiance but why is his heart still beating hard for Jonghyun hyung?

*

They agreed to meet on Saturday and here Kibum is. In front of the cafe that feels familiar to him. He used to go there with Jonghyun when they were still together. Kibum inhaled deeply, trying to sort out his feelings before opening the door. He looks around and sees the familiar figure sitting at the back of the cafe. He walked closer to the man and greeted him.

“Hey hyung, long time no see!”

Jonghyun looks startled by the greeting but he quickly gives the younger one a wide grin. His signature smile, Kibum thought.

“You look great, Bummie! And you are not aging at all! Still as handsome as before.”

Kibum blushed after hearing the compliment. This is the Jonghyun that he knows. The Jonghyun that always gives him a compliment, the Jonghyun that always has time to make a song dedicated for Kibum, the Jonghyun that all the way romantics.

*

“Oh! I’m sorry sunbae-nim!” Kibum scrambled trying to gather his belongings that were scattering around after he bumped with the man.

Jonghyun only chuckled lightly and started to help Kibum gather his belongings. What a pretty man, he thought.

“Freshman?” Jonghyun asked while giving Kibum the notepad he picked from the floor.

Kibum nodded shyly. This senior in front of him is so charming that he couldn’t help but glance.

“I’m Jonghyun, Kim Jonghyun. Nice to meet you…?”

“Ah, Kibum, my name is Kim Kibum!”

“Well Kim Kibum, I gotta go but I hope to see you around! Have fun on your course!”

Kibum was left starstruck, his eyes following Jonghyun’s movement until he couldn’t see him again.

After their first meeting, they keep bumping into each other. It turns out that they have the same major and so spend most of the time in the same building. Even though Jonghyun is all nice and flirty to Kibum, he never initiates anything to bring their relationship beyond being a good friend. Kibum is honestly okay with that, given that he is still a freshman and dating a senior seems like a bad move. It could ruin his image immediately. 

But in Kibum's second year, their relationship is stuck between a good friend and almost lover. They go on dates every weekend and sometimes kiss each other but no one dares to define the relationship. It’s just flowing naturally.

“Hey bum-a, what is exactly your relationship with Jonghyun hyung? You two look like you are dating but always claiming that you are single! There’s so many people here wanted to date you but they are afraid that you’ve already taken!” Minho, Kibum’s best friend, whines to him one day.

“If I could answer your question, I would, Ming. But really, I don’t know what we are right now and I'm afraid to ask him.”

“You are stupid you know? I don’t understand why you stay in this kind of relationship with him.”

Honestly, Kibum himself didn’t understand why.

Kibum keeps convincing himself that he is satisfied with what he and Jonghyun have right now. But when the news about Jonghyun dating another senior breaks out, Kibum feels betrayed.

“Is it true hyung?” Kibum tried to ask Jonghyun one day, when they were tangled in Jonghyun’s sofa, watching a movie.

“What?”

“The rumour, about you dating this senior?”

Jonghyun fell silent, not answering the question. Instead, he snuggled closer to Kibum and hugged him reassuringly.

Kibum didn’t bother to ask again.

The rumour turns out to be true. Kibum accidentally sees with his own eyes, the senior that he trusts and loves so much, kissing another person. The look on Jonghyun’s face just added salt on Kibum’s already wounded heart.

From that day, Kibum started distancing himself from the older. He blocked Jonghyun’s contact and deliberately ignored him when they met in the hallway.

It went on for two months and Kibum started to think that he needed to move on. He shouldn’t weeping on the man that clearly didn’t give a single about his well-being. But when he saw Jonghyun waiting for him in front of his dorm’s door, all his resolution has vanished.

“Why are you here?” Kibum is trying hard to keep his face cold and his voice unwavering.

“Let’s go out, be my boyfriend, bummie. I’ll get crazy if you ignored me even just for a day more! I love you, I’m sorry for realising it late.”

And Kibum never felt happier in his life.

*

“So, how’s life?” Jonghyun asked and Kibum happily told him about his work, his pet and his life in general. Consciously leaving one part of his life.

“I always watch your performance, hyung! I’m proud of you! But sometimes, I see you getting thinner and couldn’t help but wonder if you eat well or even eat at all.”

“You are still as affectionate and loving as before, bummie…” Jonghyun said softly while reaching Kibum’s hand.

Kibum felt his heart beating and the inside of his hand sweating. He looks into Jonghyun’s eyes and could see the same love Jonghyun offers when they are still together.

“Bummie… I’ve been thinking about this for a while but just have courage to ask this now… what do you say if we are getting back together?”

Kibum is exploding with happiness. He couldn’t believe his ears and just sat there looking at Jonghyun’s face. But suddenly, his fiance’s face flashed in his mind. All the years he spent with the man, his comforting scent, his loving gaze, his warm smile. Kibum knows where his heart belongs.

“Hyung… actually, I came here to give you this…”

Kibum pulled out something from his bag and gave it to the man he used to love.

“What is this, bum?”

“My wedding invitation.”

Jonghyun looks confused and hurt but after a while he looks straight to Kibum eyes and asked,

“Are you happy, bum?”

“Never been better, hyung.”

When Jonghyun nods his head and gives him his signature smile once again, Kibum feels relieved and he knows that he made the right decision. He couldn’t wait to give his fiance a kiss (and maybe more of that).