5 years later, on September 25, 2027, 4 hours before the wedding starts  

 

"Can you believe it? Joohyun didn't even think of sending us an invitation, we're still guests." Jennie rants on Lisa while tying her shoes.

 

The younger scoffed at her and lightly hit her arm. "Hey, don't blame them that you woke up late today." Jennie pouted and once she was done with her shoes, she walked to their mirror as she combed her hair.

 

Jennie and Lisa are preparing to go to the wedding starting in 4 hours. Jennie woke up late, as usual.. and Lisa's been telling her to move faster since 30 minutes ago. 

 

"And ya, don't be like that. I'm sure she did." Lisa reminds her, Jennie chuckles and shakes her head at Lisa defending their friend. 

 

"Yeah, glad there's Seungwan to remind her."

 

  5 years ago, After the final examinations in their Summer Classes in 3rd year  

 

Seulgi knew Seungwan was different. She never thought she'd ever be rushing to Joohyun's ex's house just to confront someone who hurt Joohyun. This time, it's different. Seulgi knew she had to do this, she was the reason why Seungwan did it. She has to come to Seungwan's apartment to confront her.

 

She knocked on her classmates' door repeatedly. It's 8 o'clock in the morning and she's aware it's still too early but this can't wait. She has to do this now. Seulgi notes to herself that she'll just apologize to Yerim, Seungwan, Chaeyoung and Jennie later on for coming so early in the morning.

 

"Why would you do that to her?" Seulgi--with her face a little sweaty from all the running, asked as soon as the door flew open and she saw Seungwan's sleepy face.

 

She thought Seungwan would close the door again but the girl only lightly scratched her eyes and sighed before answering her question, straight to the point. 

 

"I can't love someone who's already been loved for 7 years."

 

Seulgi's hands balled into fists. She's angry. Angry at herself. Mad at everything that's happening. But she's not blaming anyone else, just herself. Right now, all she wants is to make Joohyun feel better and Seungwan.. must be the only person who can do it this time. Seulgi needs her help. 

 

"Seungwan.. If that's what you're worried about, then forget about all that I said. Joohyun deserves your love. My feelings don't matter here, Seungwan!"

 

She doesn't care anymore. If it means that Seungwan and Joohyun have to get back together for Joohyun to feel better then Seulgi would do everything for that to happen. She's.. desperate, desperate to make her happy. 

 

"No. You don't understand, Seulgi." Seungwan tells her. The room owner held onto the doorknob and opened the door wider. 

 

Seulgi shook her head, she knew she understood clearly what happened. Seungwan broke up with Joohyun and now, her bestfriend's gone. "She has not talked to me about what happened since you broke up with her." 

 

"She will talk to you. Give her time. You out of all people know how to mend her and comfort her the most." Seungwan assured her, voice sounding upset and Seulgi felt that. 

 

"She said she'll leave the apartment." Seulgi feels guilty. She can't help it, knowing that the reason why Joohyun's crying is because of her. "And.. And I couldn't stop her." She added.

 

Seulgi honestly doesn't know why she's here. Was she planning to get Joohyun and Seungwan back together by begging on Seungwan? Yes, but at the same time, she also needed someone to talk to. Sooyoung and Lisa didn't know about her talk with Seungwan and the only one Seulgi can talk to is apparently, Son Seungwan. 

 

Seungwan opened the door wider for Seulgi to get in. She saw Yerim and Chaeyoung walking out of their rooms, and must have been awakened from them talking. Seungwan mouthed get in so she did. She sat on their couch set, ashamed of being here too early in the morning. Pretty sure Seungwan had already told her friends by now. Seulgi contemplates whether to apologize now for bothering their dorm or after all of this is done.. if it will ever be.

 

"What else did she say?" Seungwan asked. Seulgi ignored Yerim and Chaeyoung's glances because soon after, the two began cooking in the kitchen to keep themselves busy. 

 

Seulgi closed her eyes for a moment, head looking back to all the things Joohyun said last night, it was painful to recall.

 

"She said.. she can't take it anymore."

 

Seungwan let out a sigh as she massaged her temples. Seulgi noticed she wasn't the only one with teary eyes. Seungwan's just the same as her. 

 

"She won't leave, Seulgi," Seungwan mumbled and sat next to her. 

 

Seulgi immediately shook her head, immediately wiped the tears about to flow from her eyes with her hands still shaking from panic when she woke up. "She left the apartment when I was asleep."

 

It all happened too fast. All that happened felt so new. This is the first time Joohyun had a breakup this bad. This is the first time she woke up in the morning, in the past seven years, that she doesn't know where Joohyun went.

 

"I-I don't know why she doesn't want my comfort. I told you.. you're different. This is the first time she's done something like this after breaking up."

 

Seulgi never had a hard time comforting Joohyun. She knew exactly how to make her smile. She'd done this a lot of times and she thought she was done mastering it. 

 

  Highschool, Senior Year  

 

Seulgi likes it when Joohyun smiles, she loves it when Joohyun smiles because of her. One of her favorites was the time they were reviewing for the upcoming CSAT and Joohyun asked her to tutor her

 

"So..?" Joohyun was grinning confidently at her after Seulgi finished checking her answers. 

 

"You did well," Seulgi says, setting her pen down on the table as she passed the answer sheets to Joohyun.

 

"Just that? I did well and you'll only tell me I did well?" Joohyun rolled her eyes at Seulgi and ignored the answer sheet in front of her.

 

"Huh- What should I do then!" Seulgi laughed and rested her cheek on her palm as she leaned her elbow on the table, staring back at Joohyun.

 

"I don't know, buy me food or cook for me, anything cool."

 

Joohyun takes the pen on the table and starts drawing a bear on the corner of the paper sheet. Seulgi looked at Joohyun's answers again and decided to tease Joohyun.

 

"I won't. Your solution is very messy." She said, not leaving her position when she's aware that Joohyun will hit her shoulder again.

 

Joohyun hits her on her arm. "I don't care, ya. You know, when we're already working, we won't need to write prettily!" Joohyun's excuse only made Seulgi laugh harder. 

 

"Who told you that? The future you who still doesn't organize her writing?"

 

Again, Joohyun rolled her eyes then checked her solution. "Tch, fine. Give me 10 minutes to write this." Joohyun turned to the other side of the table and started rewriting her answers.

 

Seulgi nodded, the smile on her face hadn't left her lips. "Okay, I'll move on to the next lec-"

 

"I said wait for me! We should study at the same time." Joohyun faced her again, smiling wide as she did her writing.

 

She won't forget how good it felt when Joohyun smiled when she learned how to solve a very difficult problem on her own after Seulgi guided her the first time. She won't forget how many times Joohyun smiled at her.

 

Again, Seulgi never had a hard time comforting Joohyun. The girl has a tremendous amount of serotonin in her body that Seulgi wouldn't actually need to make too much effort to make her happy. But this is Joohyun, and for Seulgi, Joohyun deserves so much. Hence, every time she needs comfort, Seulgi goes all out. 

 

  That one time Joohyun woke up feeling hungry  

 

"Seulgi-aah." 

 

She heard Joohyun calling her name after some noise of footsteps approaching but she continued sleeping. Seulgi thought it was just a light calling from waking up but after a few minutes, Joohyun started patting her shoulder. 

 

"Joohyun, I'm still sleepy.." Seulgi mumbled against her pillow, she felt Joohyun shifting positions on her bed. 

 

They stayed up late watching that Stranger Things series on Netflix. Joohyun suggested it. She said she wants to try watching that since Lisa kept talking about it. Of course, Seulgi agreed to the plan; they'll watch all night with popcorn and just the two of them. It's just that.. Joohyun wanted to watch all of it in one go. 

 

"But I'm hungry," Joohyun says, cuddling against Seulgi.

 

"Food's in the kitchen," Seulgi tells her, turning to the other side to avoid Joohyun and sleep again. 

 

"You're not in the kitchen." Joohyun noticed how she turned around and the next second, Joohyun had laid down on top of Seulgi and continued to mumble Seulgi's name right into her ear.

 

"What the hell, Joohyun. Let me sleep." Seulgi pushed Joohyun back to the side, hugging her pillow again to continue her sleep.

 

After 15 minutes, Seulgi's finally awake and she's alone in their room. She stretched her arms, yawning, as she walked out of the room with bare feet and pajamas on. When she looked at the wall clock, it's almost 2 PM. Where's Joohyun? 

 

Joohyun wasn't in the room, she wasn't in the living room either. Seulgi glanced over the kitchen aisle and she was not there as well. As she lightly massaged her temple with her right hand, she opened their main door to check if Joohyun's sitting on the bench on the ground floor of the building. That was Joohyun's favorite spot at night. 

 

Like what she expected, Joohyun's sitting right there, alone and eating a lollipop. Seulgi brushed her hair using her fingers as she walked down to the ground floor. There were not many people in the apartment hallways so Joohyun looked more lonely.

 

When Seulgi reached her spot, she hid her hands in her pajamas' pockets and immediately earned an eye-roll from Joohyun. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Joohyun asked, popping the lollipop out of , lips clicking that says she's annoyed at Seulgi. 

 

Seulgi chuckled, poking Joohyun's leg using her right foot. "Come on, I'll cook for you."

 

Joohyun kicked her foot away. "I don't want to."

 

"Really?" Seulgi poked Joohyun's ankle using her foot again. Joohyun glares at her this time.

 

"Hey." Seulgi joins her on the bench, scooting close to Joohyun, the latter turning to the other side. "Sorry, okay? You're the one who wanted to marathon the series last night, you know I don't stay up that late that much."

 

But Joohyun ignored her.

 

"Hey." Seulgi held Joohyun's arm, the other retrieved it right away.

 

"Don't touch me," Joohyun muttered, Seulgi heard the shattering of the lollipop in Joohyun's mouth but what other thing she noticed was the slight grin at the corner of Joohyun's lips.

 

"Is that a smile?" Seulgi poked Joohyun's waist.

 

"Ah! You smiled, oh!" She continued teasing the whining Joohyun until all that was left was their bright smiles and giggles. 

 

"God, I hate you." Joohyun threw Seulgi's hand back at her, then got up from her seat to throw the lollipop stick to the trash bin close to them. 

 

"Ya, where are you going?" Seulgi laughs at Joohyun walking away from her.

 

"You're gonna cook for me, hurry up."

 

  That morning after Joohyun cried about her family  

 

"How do you feel now?" Seulgi asks, voice still drowsy from just waking up when she felt Joohyun shuffling on the bed. The girl didn't respond to her question but got up to brush her hair. 

 

Seulgi closed her eyes again and grabbed one of Joohyun's pillows to hug it. After a few seconds, Joohyun went back to the bed and pulled the pillow from Seulgi, only to stick herself in between Seulgi's arms. 

 

She didn't mind and let her sleep a bit more, although..

 

In another 30 minutes, Seulgi couldn't go back to sleep anymore. Joohyun was awake too, but they continued to cuddle like that. This won't do.

 

"Let's go out." Seulgi whispers after confirming Joohyun's still awake.

 

"Hm?"

 

As she heard Joohyun calmly humming, she couldn't help smiling. Seulgi slowly pulled away from the hug and cupped Joohyun's cheeks as she finally got to see a not crying Joohyun again-- although her eyes were still reddish and tired from crying. 

 

"Get some walk, Sooyoung said there's a popular store that opened a few days ago nearby," Seulgi says, and in an instant, Joohyun was hugging her again.

 

"Mhm.. I feel lazy."

 

"Joohyun.. you need to get some air, freshen yourself up," Seulgi mumbled, chin slightly poking Joohyun's forehead. 

 

She didn't get a response from Joohyun again in another set of five minutes. Seulgi waited, she knew Joohyun was thinking about it. And when the girl was done, Joohyun finally pulled away from her.

 

"Fine. I'm hungry too."

 

They went out to the streets. Joohyun didn't care where they were going, so it'll be like Seulgi's the host for this friendship date. As the girl clung to her arm, Seulgi texts Sooyoung about what she's doing-- and asks her friend where this popular store is. It's already evening though, Sooyoung must be busy because she hasn't replied enough to help Seulgi.

 

Seulgi is a homebody. So being the one to do the directions and plan this whole day out for Joohyun is a big deal for her. Sooyoung did say Joohyun would love it there. The only problem is that they can't find where the store is. 

 

"Did Sooyoung tell you where?" 

 

"She said it's in this store lane but we haven't seen it, right?" They walked into a clothing store, not the one Sooyoung told them because apparently, they couldn't find it. 

 

"Yeah.. It should be close to the apartment too." 

 

"Wait, let me ask." Seulgi removed Joohyun's hold on her arm first and stepped towards two girls by the sleepwear section, talking.

 

"Are you sure Seungwan would like this?" The shorter asked the taller one. Seulgi waited for the right time to ask them. As the taller girl grinned at the other and didn't speak after, Seulgi spoke.

 

"Hi, excuse me. Uh, do you know where this store is? My friend and I had been going back and forth but we couldn't find it." 

 

"Oh, hi! Yes, it's a block away from here but it should be closed today since it's only open every Tuesday to Saturday." The smaller girl with a bright smile told her. 

 

And it's Monday. God, what timing. Seulgi sighed sadly and forced a smile at the two. 

 

"Okay, thank you so much." She nodded at them and was about to excuse herself to walk back to Joohyun again when the taller of the two friends stopped her.

 

"Wait." Huh? 

 

"Which do you think is cooler? The black and gray one or the white and black striped PJs?" The tall girl asked her. Seulgi gazed towards Joohyun's direction, a soft sigh of impatience when she saw that Joohyun's been frowning. 

 

She immediately checked the two pairs of pajamas the two girls were holding and quickly made a choice. 

 

"The black and gray one. U-uhm, thanks again!" Seulgi waved at the two before jogging back to Joohyun at the corner. 

 

"What was that?" 

 

"Uh, nothing. Do you not like the clothes here? I'll treat you." Seulgi tooks her wallet from her buddy bag, Joohyun pushed her wallet back into the zipper and shook her head.

 

"No.. I'm not in the mood to shop." Right. Stupid Seulgi. Joohyun does not like spending money when her head's preoccupied with her family, even if it's Seulgi who'll treat her. 

 

"How about street food then?" Seulgi asked, placing her wallet back in her bag and finally, finally, she saw Joohyun smiling.

 

They walked out of that store and headed back to the streets nearby their apartment. Joohyun and Seulgi didn't talk the whole time they were walking, but Seulgi never let go of Joohyun's hand. 

 

The crescent moon is starting to be seen in the blue skies, not many vehicles pass by so what Seulgi heard that moment were only the crickets and some people talking when walking past them. 

 

The next thing Seulgi noted to hear was Joohyun's light sighing. Her head was quick to turn and check the girl beside her. 

 

"I think I feel better now," Joohyun said, Seulgi felt the slightly smaller thumb caressing the back of her hand. 

 

"Really?" Seulgi glanced at Joohyun, swaying their hands together. There it is, Joohyun's smile. 

 

"Mhm."

 

"But we haven't eaten yet." Seulgi teased, Joohyun lightly hit the back of Seulgi's hand she was holding and playfully bit her knuckles. "Aw-"

 

"What?" Joohyun gave her a look, a look that tells Seulgi she can't complain that moment, so she didn't. She's not complaining anyway.

 

"But.. are you really okay now?" She asks again, just to make sure.

 

"No," Joohyun replied simply. "But you're here, so I feel better."

 

That's better. 

 

"Okay, let's get you some street food."

 

  When another fling stopped talking to Joohyun  

 

The most effort Seulgi had done to make Joohyun smile was when she got back to their apartment after their year-end holiday break. It's already the 5th of January when Seulgi saw Joohyun again in their apartment. She had to stay for another two days at her parents'.

 

"Hey." Seulgi knocked on their bedroom door. She just came back from her hometown.

 

"Oh, you're home." Home. Joohyun referred to their apartment as home.. and it drove Seulgi crazy that the girl had her blushing so easily.

 

"You okay?" Joohyun didn't fail to notice her flustered cheeks. The girl's on her bed, playing fruit ninja on her phone.

 

"Yeah. Uh, I brought food from my parents." Seulgi was gonna say home but it might be confusing. Joohyun always made it confusing. 

 

"Yay, how's your mom? Is she better?" The reason why Seulgi had to have additional days of staying home-- which is her parents' house, is that her mom got sick.

 

Seulgi nodded in response, "Yep. Have you eaten?" She walked back to the living room to drag her sports bag from the doorway to the middle of their living area.

 

"Nope," Joohyun answered from the room. 

 

Seulgi decided not to unpack and instead, prepare food for the both of them since she feels a little hungry too. She walked towards the kitchen and as she walked past the dining table, she saw an orange lunch box, a well-prepared lunch set. 

 

"Whose is this then?" Seulgi untied the red ribbon enclosing the set together. Again, it is well-prepared. 

 

Joohyun walked out of the room after a few moments and with a small snorting, she replied. "Ah.. Mark."

 

"Mark? Your new boyfriend?" Seulgi takes her chopsticks from her case and takes a piece of kimbap as she sits on her chair. 

 

"Ya-! No! He's not. He sent that as a goodbye gift." Joohyun sat in front of her, eyes still busy on the game she's playing. Seulgi knows her though, she knows that Joohyun does this when she wants to feel distracted. 

 

"Wow. He cooked for you and it's just a goodbye gift- wait, what do you mean goodbye gift?"

 

As far as Seulgi knows, this is the first time someone sent a lunch set to Joohyun. Most of them sent flowers to their apartment. There was even a time when Seulgi joked about setting up a garden in their living room with the number of flowers Joohyun has received. 

 

"He said he's done waiting." Joohyun simply answered, placing her phone down on the table before giving Seulgi a look, then down on the food she's about to eat. 

 

Like I shouldn't eat this.

 

"The audacity?" Seulgi let go of her chopsticks, scared that Joohyun might go mad in annoyance. Could be that they lived for a long time that she can sense it now. 

 

"Yeah, but don't worry. I don't care." Joohyun assures her. I know she cares. 

 

Smiling, Seulgi picks up her chopsticks again. "Really? Let's eat this then."

 

"No, I don't wanna eat his food." Joohyun was quick to refuse, shaking her head while crossing her arms over her chest. 

 

"What's wrong? I thought you don't care?" Seulgi jokes, she was about to start eating again when Joohyun started talking.

 

"I just wish there'll be someone who would understand me, who will care for me, who would always look after me the way I want them to, who I would find so interesting even without doing anything ridiculous," Joohyun sighed before continuing, 

 

"..someone who listens well."

 

Joohyun looked at her, the girl looked at Seulgi with those eyes she couldn't understand. Seulgi looked away and focused on her chopsticks. She stopped poking the pieces of fried chicken on her plate and stared at Joohyun, trying to register all the things Joohyun just told her. After a few seconds, Joohyun let out a chuckle.

 

"Anyway, like I said, I don't care anymore." Joohyun shrugged and joined Seulgi in eating the lunch set her ex-suitor prepared for her.

 

Seulgi heaved a deep breath, she knew Joohyun was lying. But she also knew Joohyun doesn't want to talk more about it. Instead of grilling her with more questions, Seulgi proceeded to talk about other things, hopefully distracting Joohyun's thoughts of loneliness.

 

After they finished eating, Joohyun wanted to get some rest. Seulgi is supposed to unpack her newly-washed clothes. She sits down on the floor with her legs crossed as she opens her bag. The thing is.. she can't stop thinking about Joohyun.

 

Of course, she thinks about Joohyun all the time. It's the fundamental of falling in love with Joohyun. This one's different, it didn't feel right to see Joohyun looking like that and Seulgi wants to make her smile.

 

As she s her bag, she takes her phone from the mini pocket on the side and calls her friends. 

 

 

"Do you know what the cashier asked us?"

 

"They asked why we're buying Christmas lights on January 5th!" 

 

Sometimes, something that's just nothing to others could mean so much to someone. For Seulgi, her endless ability to be the person who can comfort Joohyun well is something that reminds her of what she means to Joohyun.

 

"Hahaha, sorry Soo.. I really need it."

 

"For what?" Lisa sat on the couch and Sooyoung followed behind Seulgi as they walked towards the kitchen sink with three boxes of string lights in their hands.

 

"For Joohyun." Seulgi muttered. She placed the box on top of the kitchen table and opened the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

 

Seulgi took the medium-sized toolbox there and grabbed the electrical tape before she faced Sooyoung. Her friends easily understood what she meant-- understood that what she'll do is another episode of making Joohyun feel better and they can tell even without asking how Joohyun's doing. 

 

"What if Joohyun wakes up?" Lisa asks, whispering while they install the lights on the narrow hallway to the bedroom. 

 

"She'll wake up if you don't stop talking!" Sooyoung scolded the younger. Seulgi chuckled silently on her spot, actually worried as well that Joohyun might suddenly barge out to the living room and see them holding fairy lights in their hands so randomly.

 

 

"Do you think this will do?" Seulgi asked her friends as they stood at the leftmost corner of the living room.

 

Lisa scoffed at her question. "You, doing all this stuff for her already does."

 

Seulgi smiled, shaking her head. Lisa and Sooyoung start moving around the room, taking their bags that they dropped on the floor an hour ago. 

 

"Hey, you guys.. Thank you for this." Seulgi tells them as she walks the two out of their apartment. Sooyoung and Lisa smiled at her.

 

"No worries. Goodluck, Seul." Sooyoung gave her a pat on the shoulder before walking away, Lisa followed.

 

"Lunch tomorrow, okay!" The younger girl yelled from the stairs, waving at Seulgi. The latter laughed while waving back at them.

 

In order to pay for how much Sooyoung and Lisa spent on the lights, Seulgi promised to treat them food in the upcoming week. She closed the door behind her and walked back inside, wondering when will Joohyun wake up. Or should I wake her up? Once again, Seulgi glanced at the lights they installed. 

 

It was pretty. 

 

As she waits for Joohyun to come out of their room, Seulgi took her phone from the counter where she last placed it and played some random songs to match the mood of the room. 

 

▷ Let Your Heart Hold Fast—Fort Atlantic

 

All my days are spent
All my cards are dealt
Oh, the desolation grows.

 

Every inch revealed as my heart is pierced
Oh, my soul is now exposed.

 

Seulgi mumbled the lyrics to the song as she walked around their living room, taking pictures of the beautiful lights lighting their evening. 

 

In the oceans deep,
In the canyon's steep
Walls of granite, here I stand.

 

All my desperate calls
Echo off the walls,
Back and forth then back again.

 

"Seul..? What is this?" 

 

To believe I walk alone
Is a lie that I've been told.

 

Seulgi immediately turned to see the awakened Joohyun. Even though she just woke up, Seulgi thinks she's beautiful. The girl walked quietly-speechless and in awe in the narrow hall towards Seulgi's direction. 

 

So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
Like the high tide takes the sand.

 

Excitedly, Seulgi takes Joohyun's hand, gently pulling her to her side to show her the beauty of their living room set-up. Joohyun scanned everything, Seulgi felt the slight twitching of the smaller hand she was holding. Worried, she faced her favorite person, masking her worry with a grin on her face, hoping Joohyun liked it. 

 

Joohyun did, for once that day, Joohyun finally smiled.. truthfully. 

 

"This is so pretty, Seulgi. Thank you so much." Joohyun—whose cheeks are blushing and eyes are sweating, pulled her hand away from Seulgi's, only to grab the slightly taller girl in a grateful embrace.

 

"Y-you're welcome.."

 

So let your heart hold fast
For this soon shall pass
There's another hill ahead.

 

  3rd Year Summer Class, when Seungwan broke up with Joohyun  

 

Seulgi was cleaning their living room because of the pieces of scratch paper she used with Seungwan earlier this morning when they did their final project. Joohyun excused herself earlier because her girlfriend is calling.

 

After Seulgi's talk with Seungwan, it felt like she committed a terrible sin.  So when Joohyun told her that Seungwan is calling her, Seulgi nodded enthusiastically, as if she approved of Seungwan so much, so bad. On second thought, she feels nervous that Seungwan is calling Joohyun at 11 PM. 

 

Seungwan did say she's going back to their dorm to rest after what's been revealed about Seulgi's feelings. But.. But Seungwan promised she won't tell Joohyun. Seulgi tries to convince herself that Seungwan would instead feel even more motivated on loving Joohyun now that she knew Seulgi had let go of the girl for her. Have I? Seulgi convinced herself that she had.

 

All of Seulgi's worries seemed to have worsened when she heard Joohyun yelling in their room.

 

"I already told you I'm done with that!" 

 

Seulgi opened the door to their room and saw Joohyun fiddling in their closet. Did they fight? 

 

Is it because of me?

 

Seulgi wanted to ask Joohyun what happened but she didn't have the time to do that when she saw Joohyun taking the luggage bag from under her bed and started putting her clothes there from the closet. Joohyun had her head low, and Seulgi was unable to see her face but with her shoulders shaking uncontrollably, she knew the girl was crying. 

 

"Joohyun- Joohyun, hey, what are you doing?" Seulgi steps closer, gently grabbing Joohyun's arm to stop her. Joohyun did stop, but the girl won't look at her.

 

Seungwan.. what did you do?

 

Seulgi is smart. She knew the possible reason why Joohyun yelled at Seungwan, or why her bestfriend is crying. But she had more questions, why would Seungwan do that? Is it really my fault? What should I do then? Am I a bad person? All her questions are not going to be answered tonight, she knew that too. The least she could do is to make sure Joohyun would stop crying. 

 

"I'm so tired. I tried my best to make all of them stay.. why can't I make it work?" Joohyun whispers, Seulgi heard her but she was quick to say no, that it wasn't Joohyun's fault. 

 

Seulgi pulled the girl in a hug and unlike all the times she hugged Joohyun.. this time, the girl's arms remained tucked against her chest. Joohyun refused to hug her. 

 

Joohyun rejected her. 

 

Seulgi started feeling guilty, her conscience dropped heavily as her heart shattered when Joohyun pulled away from her arms. 

 

"I-I'm leaving, Seulgi," Joohyun told her before returning to packing her stuff. 

 

"What?" Seulgi can't believe this. Does this apartment remind her of Seungwan? Seulgi knew Seungwan had this much effect on Joohyun but not to this point. "You can't leave. How about me?"

 

Seulgi tried to stop Joohyun again but the girl keeps dodging her hold, avoiding her eyes starting to tear up at the sight of the love of her life crying while packing up to leave the place they once called home. 

 

"I.. I want to be alone. I can't take any more of this." Joohyun tells her, pushing her hand away when she placed her hand on the closet to block Joohyun from getting more of her clothes. 

 

"Joohyun, I'm here. You know I won't let you be alone, I won't make you feel alone." Seulgi repeatedly tried to grab Joohyun's hands onto hers, the tears on Joohyun's cheeks made her feel more desperate to make her stay. 

 

"I don't want you to.. please," Joohyun speaks in a firm tone now, finally looking up to meet Seulgi's eyes and all Seulgi saw was pain, tiredness, and loneliness.

 

Joohyun stopped moving, Seulgi was holding her wrists tightly but carefully to secure her. She smiled bitterly, trying hard to let Joohyun know that everything will be fine but Joohyun only shook her head. Why can't I make you smile now?

 

"I'll stay," Seulgi muttered as she hugged Joohyun, one hand lightly combing Joohyun's hair and the other circled around the smaller girl's waist. Seulgi has no plans to let Joohyun go. 

 

Joohyun sobbed on her shoulder, a familiar feeling of being Joohyun's safe place came back to Seulgi. She just realized that out of everything Joohyun made her feel, this one must be the heaviest but still one of her favorite feelings ever. As midnight struck, Joohyun mumbled to her that she was getting sleepy. 

 

That night, they slept on Seulgi's bed as Joohyun's bed is occupied with the luggage bag and the unpacked clothes and things Joohyun owns. Seulgi did not know what to think. She didn't know what else to tell Joohyun so she just hugged the girl to sleep. Seulgi had no idea what would happen next, on the next day, on the next weeks, on the next months, and in the next few years. But she's a hundred percent sure she'll stay with Joohyun, on Joohyun's side, no matter what. 

 

Seulgi didn't dream about Joohyun in her sleep, she thought it was okay when she woke up. She was sure she'd be seeing Joohyun's face once she woke up anyway. 

 

But Joohyun wasn't there, her arms were holding nothing, the other side of the bed was empty, the other bed was empty either. 

 

Joohyun's bed is empty. Joohyun's side of the closet is empty. Joohyun's luggage is nowhere to be seen. 

 

Joohyun is nowhere to be seen.