Seungwan fell in love the first time she saw Joohyun  

 

Joohyun was not her first girlfriend but she thinks she's the best one she had so far. Seungwan started exploring her dating life when she graduated from high school. She had quite a few girlfriends and flings but no one lasted longer than two months. 

 

Don't get her wrong, she's not a playgirl. The breakups were mostly mutual. Her first girlfriend broke up with her because the girl thinks it was too fast. She agreed. Her second girlfriend-- well, broke up with her because the sparks didn't stay that long between them. She wanted to try it for a bit more but the girl didn't want to. She had no choice but to accept what happened. The third one-- the one before Joohyun, was Seungwan who suggested they just broke up. The girl was from another department and the only time they can see each other was every Saturday: take note that it's just the Saturday lunch. Add to it that Seungwan felt like they were just forcing it to happen. They broke up, obviously. 

 

Let's just say Seungwan had it rough looking for the perfect one.

 

After all that she experienced, she didn't stop finding the one. Her thoughts were always filled with what ifs. What if this girl is the one and I let her go? What if that girl was the one and I didn't talk to her? What if that girl was the one and I gave up before we can even get to know each other? 

 

Seungwan wasn't the one to love romance.. But it gets tiring not to have someone she could spoil, she could care for. Especially when she knows she has a lot of free time. 

 

"I told you to get a cat. That, you can spoil." Yerim says, holding a book in her hand while catching up on Seungwan, Chaeyoung and Jennie walking.

 

"She's right! Get a new cat, the world won't run out of girlfriends to give you. You're still young and you can worry about it later." 

 

They're at the registrar's office, claiming their schedules for the summer classes. Seungwan already heard them say this advice a lot of times before, whenever her girlfriend breaks up with her.  Get a cat. Since all they hear from Seungwan is that she wants to take care of someone. Seungwan already has cats though, but they're at home and having cats is different from having a girlfriend.

 

"But we can't have animals in the dorms." Seungwan excused. It was true, and her friends know about it because they're roommates.

 

"Yeah, right. You're hopeless." Jennie gave her a light pat on her arm and Seungwan shook it off. The three of them leaned their backs on the wall next to the staircase, taking a minute to rest before they go back to their dorm.

 

She glanced over the building across them where she used to come and visit her ex-girlfriend, remembering how it felt to expect to be with someone at the end of the day. It felt so good. But she should stop-- she has to stop looking over there, and move on- 

 

Look forward.

 

Seungwan looked forward and saw a girl walking around the hallway. Long, dark brown, straight hair; sharp jawline cupping that small beautiful face; brown eyes with orbs glistening, busy-- busy looking everywhere. Is she lost? 

 

"Give it a rest, Wends. Someone will come, don't force it." Chaeyoung was busy putting her pen back to her bag.

 

"Seungwan, are you even listening?" 

 

Seungwan nodded absentmindedly, she pointed at the girl from a  distance. She may be blinking, but she can't take her eyes off her: that pretty girl who looked tall from where Seungwan was standing. 

 

"Who's that?" She asked them, hoping Yerim knows the girl because they all know Chaeyoung is the least sociable person among them and that Jennie don't even look at other people's faces.

 

"Who?" Yerim leaned her arm on the wall and faced the direction where Seungwan was pointing at. Even Jennie looked and there was only one person standing out among those students.

 

"What-- Oh.." Yerim grinned at Seungwan when she realized. Chaeyoung laughed teasingly and hits her shoulder with a slight punch. Jennie was unbothered.

 

"And we have a new contender, ladies, and gentlewomen!" Chaeyoung announced, Seungwan rolled her eyes when her friends even clapped hands to annoy her more.

 

Instead of trying to make them stop, she just focused back on the girl still walking alone. Then it came to her, the girl is walking towards them-- the pretty girl is approaching them.

 

"Shut. Shh! She's coming."

 

Thankfully, the girls immediately stopped laughing, although the teasing grin remained from Yerim-- she just doesn't stop smiling. Seungwan stood properly, tried her best to act casually once the girl was less than three feet away from her. 

 

"Hi, have you seen three girls standing right around here earlier?" She's talking. Seungwan's heart skipped a beat, the girl's voice captivated her even more. "One of them is taller than the two. I just went to the restroom and when I get back here, they're gone.."

 

Seungwan admits-- she was unable to comprehend anything the girl just said, or asked, or whatever was stated in front of her face. How could she when the most attractive girl ever was talking so close in front of her? Luckily, her friends read through her eyes-- that she's not going to answer anything helpful for the girl asking.

 

Jennie stepped in, "No, there was no one here." The taller student said, giving the girl an assuring look that she was telling the truth. 

 

"Oh. Thanks anyway." Wait- don't leave yet.. Seungwan spoke-- in her head. 

 

"Hey, Seungwan, are you okay?" Jennie chuckled, snapping her fingers close to Seungwan's face.

 

Seungwan was okay. She is. She knows she is. But damned was her when she couldn't get herself to talk infront of the pretty girl earlier. Why was it so hard? She felt Yerim slapping her shoulder once and that's when she finally choked a noise.

 

"Ouch! I told you to stop hitting me like that!" Seungwan whined, but her gaze left Yerim so quick to find where the girl might have walked away to.

 

"Wow, you're so bad at this," Jennie whispered, watching her friend watch another girl walk away just like that. 

 

Seungwan would want to come after her, talk to her and apologize for not answering her question earlier- or if she came out rude. But she didn't know if it's the right thing to do. She just.. had.. three bad experiences with girls. Am I ready for another one? 

 

"Go! Go! Get her number!" Yerim pushed her. Who am I kidding? She just needed her friend to encourage her and here she is, running towards the girl who already turned to walk down the stairs.

 

"Hi- Hey!" The girl was already taking a step into the stairs when Seungwan pulled at her wrist and forced her to look back. Quickly, Seungwan let go of her wrist when she met those eyes again. "I- I can help you find them."

 

She heard a small chuckle from the girl. "How?"

 

"I'll come with you look for them," Seungwan replied immediately, flexing a cheeky smile-- the one Chaeyoung said was her charm. 

 

The girl looked at her, it felt intense for Seungwan, because it's like she was examining Seungwan's character from how she offered to help. After a minute, the girl opened to talk but closed it again when the phone on her hand rang a beep. Seungwan waited as the girl checked the text message she just received.

 

"Oh, haha. It's okay! Seulgi just texted me. They're at the cafeteria." Who's Seulgi? Is that her friend?

 

Anyway, Seungwan nodded to let her know she understood. "Ah.. That's good then. Can I get your name and number at least?"

 

"My.. number?" The girl was smiling, Seungwan think the girl must be getting this question a lot, given that she's pretty. She must be used to this by now that she wasn't taken aback.

 

"Yes, you're really pretty." Seungwan said, then gulped after-- she was really nervous. If the girl didn't notice that, she's sure her friend would have if they were here watching.

 

The girl nodded, laid her palm as she asked for Seungwan's phone. Of course, Seungwan was fast fishing her phone from her pocket when the girl asked. She unlocked her phone and went straight to contacts. While watching the girl type her contact details on her phone, Seungwan stared at her small face and noticed something: that aside from her beautiful features, she was blushing. The girl is blushing, is it because of me?

 

"Joohyun?" Seungwan reads once she got her phone back. Joohyun nodded and smiled at her. Pretty name. 

 

Seungwan scratched her head a little, thinking of what else to say. She looked back at her friends, with a slight hope that they could help her and when she did, she saw Yerim making a gesture-- calling on her phone.

 

"Thanks. Um right, here, let me give you a ring." With her thumb shaking, she clicked on Joohyun's contact number to ring her phone. After a second or two, they saw Seungwan's contact number appearing on Joohyun's screen.

 

Joohyun giggled and showed her the phone screen, waving it slightly before closing it. "I guess I'll wait for your text then..." Joohyun gazed down on Seungwan's shirt-- no, her ID.

 

"Seungwan." Joohyun reads her name from her ID, smiling at her again before turning her back, resuming her way back downstairs before Seungwan stopped her earlier.

 

"I guess I'll text you," Seungwan whispers to herself as Joohyun vanished from her sight. 

 

And that was their start.

 

For Yerim, Chaeyoung and Jennie, this new page of Seungwan showing interest in another girl is just a commercial break. The real episode for them is how they will be girlfriends, how long will they last, and how will they break up. 

 

"Don't jinx it!" Seungwan scolded them, she's waiting by the school gate for Joohyun. They stayed up late last night texting each other and sort of agreed to meet at the school gate so they could go to class together. 

 

Yes. Fortunately for Seungwan, Joohyun happened to be in the class where she and her friends enrolled at. I got lucky. They chose not to enroll in their original block for this semester and now she's classmates with the pretty girl named Joohyun.

 

She can't blame her friends for their nonstop teasing. They're telling the truth, Seungwan's love life is interesting. Yerim doesn't want to date. Chaeyoung has a very stable relationship with someone from another university named Jisoo. Seungwan saw her a few times when she visits her friend in their dorm. Jennie, just like how Seungwan described her earlier, she's not the type to befriend a lot of people, let alone date people.. so she's very much single. The result? They look forward to seeing how Seungwan's love life would do.

 

"Here she comes! Shut up, you two! Go! Go away." Yerim and Jennie move to the side, not because they want to, but because Seungwan pushed them away when she saw Joohyun walking towards them.

 

The thing is, she's not alone, and she's not just walking. She's jogging- no, they are jogging. Seungwan finds it cute, too early in the morning for Joohyun to get herself sweating. She wonders who the other girl is, could it be Seulgi? She immediately checked her phone- to Joohyun's profile on her sns. Scrolling on her timeline and there it is- she sees Joohyun and the girl-- Seulgi together in the photos. 

 

 

All the posts were captioned: Best. 

 

Is it short for bestfriends? Seungwan honestly found it endearing and sort of making her feel envious of Seulgi. Especially that Joohyun and Seulgi are holding hands while running. Do people normally do that? No, but it seems like Joohyun and Seulgi are close friends, close enough to do that. It's the dream. Seulgi is living my dream. 

 

"Hey." Seungwan raised her right hand and waved at Joohyun when they arrived. In the past nights, all Seungwan had been thinking about is.. Joohyun. She just can't help it. 

 

"Hi, Seungwan! Good morning." Joohyun smiled at her, tucking some strands of her hair behind her ear. As if she wants Seungwan to die right here.

 

They stayed there, standing by the gate for a minute or two. Joohyun asked if she had been waiting and Seungwan replied it hasn't been that long. After that, they had nothing to talk about and all that was left to do is go to their rooms. That was before Seungwan remembered Joohyun is with her friend.

 

"Uh," Seungwan laid eyes on the other girl who was only standing behind Joohyun, facing Joohyun, looking at Joohyun only. Didn't even bother greeting Seungwan. She must be shy. 

 

Joohyun seemed to realize they haven't been introduced. "Oh- She's Seulgi, my bestfriend."

 

Bestfriend. Oh good. I was right.

 

"Ah, hello! I think we're classmates too, right?" Seungwan reached her hand forward for a handshake, and finally, Seulgi looked back at her. 

 

"Yes, Joohyun already told me about you," Seulgi replied shortly, smiling at her before shaking her hand. After that, nothing. Seungwan felt like she missed giving her attention to Joohyun that her eyes immediately went back to the girl.

 

"Let's go?" Seungwan asked her with a cheeky smile. 

 

"Let's!" Joohyun responded excitedly before she started walking.. with Seulgi.

 

Joohyun and Seulgi walked forward, Seungwan was left behind them, confused. I thought we were going to walk together. She scratched her head once again, thinking if she should catch up and walk next to Joohyun but then, Yerim, Chaeyoung and Jennie joined her.

 

"Aww, looks like she doesn't want to walk with you." Jennie teased while they walked side by side. It's good she wasn't talking loudly that Seulgi and Joohyun wouldn't hear them but still, Seungwan hoped she'd just shut up.

 

"Seulgi's her bestfriend. Of course, they'll walk together." Seungwan says, defending Joohyun like it's her job.

 

Yerim continued laughing, "And you dared to shoo us away."

 

"Ya, if you guys weren't here I'll be with them right now!"

 

Her friends didn't stop teasing her until Joohyun and Seulgi slowed down walking and the five of them eventually walked together. It wasn't awkward since they-- Seulgi and Joohyun, and Yerim-- have one mutual friend: Sooyoung. They talked about other stuff like their professors and schedules too, but all Seungwan could think about is that she's walking beside Joohyun.

 

They reached their classroom soon and Seungwan thinks she already knew all of Sooyoung's interaction with her friends and Joohyun's. In the span of ten minutes, she got to know things about Sooyoung instead of Joohyun. So to make up for it, she thought it would be fun if she'd be seated next to Joohyun but when they entered the room, Jennie pulled her to the back seats. 

 

"Wan, where are you going?" Chaeyoung asks, one hand holding on her arm. Seungwan looked at Chaeyoung then her gaze followed the direction where Joohyun was going.

 

"Just sit here! You know we won't fit on that row, they already occupied four seats there." Jennie said, Chaeyoung had let go of her arm before sitting on the leftmost corner of the room.

 

Yerim took the seat next to Jennie and Seungwan-- with no choice left on her plate-- had seated on the vacant seat on the back row. Her eyes immediately found their way to the girl she's crushing on for the past few days. She didn't just look at Joohyun though, she looks at Seulgi and Joohyun laughing together.

 

As they sat, Yerim whispered to Jennie, "That girl Lisa keeps looking at you, I think she's checking you out." 

 

"Hey-- you're imagining things."

 

But Seungwan can't comprehend what they're talking about. It's not that she doesn't want to.. It's just that her head is full of Joohyun.

 

Seungwan liked the fact that Joohyun has Seulgi on her side. At least she knows there's someone who can help her get to know Joohyun on phase two. Yes, with the number of times she tried to get to know the people she dated and almost dated, she ends up developing a quick method to get to know someone. 

 

The question here is how will she get closer to Seulgi.

 

Anyway, she'll worry about that later. For now, the first phase.. is to get closer to Joohyun.

 

"You want to get snacks together?" Seungwan asked Joohyun when she approached their seats after their first class was dismissed.

 

It's Jennie's fault for not wanting to sit in the middle part of the room. Now, she has to come over their row and act chill and confident though she knows deep inside that she isn't.

 

"Sure." Joohyun picks her purse up from her desk and stood up, excusing herself from her friends. "Your treat?" 

 

Her friends a lot back then, with her exes, when she tries to take them out on a date. Yerim said Seungwan only uses her money for her girls and honestly? It's true, she does. How can she not if a girl she's crushing on is so cute that she can't help but treat her?

 

"So um, you said last night that you live in dorms?" Seungwan leaned on the cold metal pole as Joohyun works on the vending machine. 

 

"Yep! Not actual dorms, but an apartment- with Seulgi." That explains it then. Seungwan smiled as she stared at Joohyun's face while the girl focused on picking which drink would she buy.

 

"Ah.. You two seemed so close, that must be why." 

 

This is what the first phase is all about. Getting to know each other, lone time with each other. Seungwan loves observing people, she loves discovering new things, and soon the best things about the person she likes.

 

"Yes," Joohyun chuckled. "We live together that we already know everything about each other."

 

"Hahaha, that's nice."

 

Once Joohyun got herself a can of cola, they decided to grab hotdog-on-sandwich too. Joohyun bought two sets, one for her and the other for Seulgi. Seeing how good of a friend she was, Seungwan felt like she needs to do the same. She ends up buying for Yerim and Jennie too.

 

"How about you? Yerim's your roommate, right?" Joohyun takes a bite after asking, Seungwan chucked when she saw the girl's cheeks huffing.

 

"Yeah. We live in the school dorms with Chaeyoung and Jennie."

 

Talking to Joohyun is fun and entertaining, and absolutely not boring. It's the nature of adoration. You will always be interested to someone you adore.

 

"Mhmm. They say there are ghosts in the hallways there."

 

"What-- ya, don't joke like that, we have evening classes!"

 

"You're so cute Seungwan, scaredy cat." Joohyun giggled, hitting her shoulder playfully as they walked back to their room.

 

Seungwan snorted a bit, Joohyun didn't fail to notice her small reactions. "What?"

 

"Nothing, it's just that you complimented me but I think you're way cuter."

 

"Shut up."

 

It is cute. To hear someone cute complimenting her. But conversations aren't always about giving compliments, it's about knowing the person you talk to. In Seungwan's case though, she does not just get to know Joohyun, she also gets bonus trivia about Seulgi. 

 

"So.. tell me more about yourself."

 

"Um.. hm.. my birth date is on March 29. I'm an Aries and Seulgi's an Aquarius. Her birthday is on February 10 so we spend a whole month from her birthday to mine full of surprises."

 

"Oh wow, that must be fun. Two birthdays in a row."

 

So, Seungwan likes observing. Sometimes she could see what kind of person someone is by listening to their responses, and how they take the conversations. What she noticed on Joohyun.. was that the girl is not all about herself.

 

"Yes! Ever since we knew each other, we've been celebrating birthdays together."

 

"Ah, really? How long have you known each other?" As much as Seungwan wants Joohyun to talk solely about herself, she just went with the flow, it is still fun listening to Joohyun talk to her.

 

"Let's see.. It started in first-year high school.. so.. six to seven years, I think?"

 

"Oh wow, that's long enough."

 

How many years were those? Six? Almost seven, then? Seungwan smiled and took a tip from the juice box she bought earlier. Somehow, she finds it interesting that Joohyun and Seulgi are that close. Who knows? Maybe Seulgi could help her.

 

"Right? She managed to handle me all these years." Joohyun may be talking down about herself but she sounded proud. 

 

"Hahahah, why? Are you that wild?" 

 

As they arrived back to their classroom, Seungwan stepped up first to open the door for Joohyun.

 

"You haven't seen a lot of me, Seungwan." The girl grinned at her before walking in.

 

"I'll be glad to see then," Seungwan replied, anticipating.

 

Joohyun is very interesting. Seungwan found herself getting more attracted to her whenever she talks about anything. The two of them quickly found a comfortable way of getting closer to each other: talking. So every after dismissal, Seungwan texts Joohyun once they get back to the dorms. They call sometimes too but mostly texting. 

 

One night-- that night of Wednesday, after a week of them getting to know each other, Seungwan called Joohyun.

 

"Hello?" There it is, the soft voice she missed already although it's only been a day since they have last seen each other. 

 

"Hey." Seungwan smiled, in the dark, like an idiot.

 

It's better that Joohyun didn't see her smiling like a fool by just hearing her voice. It would be embarrassing. Yerim is sleeping on her bed. Jennie and Chaeyoung must be sleeping too. Not wanting to wake her friends or have them waking up to her talking to Joohyun at night, Seungwan got off her bed and walked out of their room.

 

"Why are you still awake, Son Seungwan?"

 

"My roommates are asleep, but I feel wide awake. I don't know why." She takes her slippers and walked bare feet to avoid making any noise as Yerim's pretty sensitive to noise when asleep.

 

"Must be because you're thinking about me."

 

Walking by their common room, Seungwan stopped for a moment. Feeling a small tingling in her chest as she understood what Joohyun just said. Son Seungwan is very much flattered. Bae Joohyun, the kind of woman you are. 

 

"Y-yeah, I guess so."

 

"Hahaha, well.. to be fair, I have a lot of things in my head too. Right now, I'm outside the apartment building, Seulgi's sleeping in our room."

 

"Hmm, do you want to meet up, then?" 

 

For the record, Seungwan really did want to see Joohyun. It was what her heart wanted. She has never done this before-- go out in the middle of the night without her friends knowing to meet a girl. But what else could happen? Seungwan had many first times that night.

 

"Isn't it cold? Why aren't you wearing a coat or something?" Joohyun is even cuter when she cares.

 

Seungwan shook her head, "No, I don't feel cold. I'm fine, don't worry."

 

It's her first time coming to this part of the neighborhood. She didn't know it would be this cold here but she's good at acting. When she went out, she did not think of changing clothes so here she is, wearing black and gray pajamas with a beanie over her black hair.

 

"Are we gonna stay here and not talk about anything?" Seungwan joked. It's been minutes since they met and had been sitting on the same spot-- on the bench by Joohyun's apartment building, not talking about anything.

 

"Hahaha, sorry.. I don't know if I want to share my thoughts right now." Joohyun let out a deep sigh, Seungwan nodded, wondering what could be in her head.

 

"Are they about me?" Seungwan joked, expecting a little. Please say yes, please say yes.

 

"Hm.. similar." I could take that as a yes. 

 

"What- Similar?" Seungwan chuckles. Joohyun looked at her but she noticed that the girl is not as cheerful as she was in their past interactions. "Okay, I won't force you." She could be sleepy.

 

Seungwan, feeling a little awkward that she and Joohyun are not talking as much as they did in the past days-- remained seated, staring at the bricks on the pavement as she acts casual around Joohyun.

 

"Tell me about yourself, Seungwan." Joohyun speaks, now giving a slight smile and it only made Seungwan a bit.. unusual. It's the feeling of trying out something new. 

 

"Me?" It is the first time they're gonna talk about her. Joohyun nodded, smiling a little cuter now and that made Seungwan feel much better. 

 

"I like a lot of hobbies, I play drums, I draw sometimes, I write too, sometimes. I have three cats at home."

 

She has a lot of hobbies and things about herself that could fascinate someone she wants to impress. Like Yerim said one time, if she was single, she'd find Seungwan interesting that she'd want to get to know her. Seungwan hopes Joohyun feels the same as Yerim right now. Because if she doesn't, then Seungwan would have to think of her backup hobbies she could tell. 

 

"Wow, you're so cool." Joohyun giggles, eyes twinkling that although Seungwan's sight of the surroundings that night is much of sepia, Joohyun's eyes still stood out the most. 

 

"Am I?" She chuckled awkwardly, feeling a little better now that they're laughing again.

 

"Yes, you have cats? You must be a good parent then." Joohyun moved closer to her, Seungwan stiffened.

 

"Mm.. Maybe?" She grinned by herself, unable to glance at Joohyun who's sitting a centimeter away from her now.

 

"Your hobbies are so cool. I can't even memorize drumming routines.. but I like writing too."

 

That's one of the best parts of knowing something about someone: when you realize you have something in common. It's like a glimpse of the silver-lining opening through the gateway of your relationship with someone, knowing you'll have more things to talk about from that matter.

 

"It's fun, isn't it?"

 

"Yep! It's like.. I have the chance to say things I wasn't able to deliver."

 

"That's deep."

 

She's got to say.. Joohyun was the very first girl she ever liked to talk to her like this. It's mostly all about the girlfriends, not Seungwan, not Seungwan's hobbies, not writing. But with Joohyun, it's a new experience. Everything is new.

 

"But it's what makes writing more interesting." Yes.

 

Seungwan nodded in agreement, leaning her head on the wall behind their seat. Aside from writing, she had a few experiences in reading. "Being able to swim on the writer's thoughts while you read their works."

 

"Sadly, I don't think anyone has ever read my writings," Joohyun mumbles after letting out a sigh. 

 

It felt difficult. Joohyun giving her new experiences, new feelings, and stuff only made it difficult for Seungwan to read her. Especially now, she knows deep down that Joohyun had been preoccupied with something. It's worse because she can never tell. It feels like she can never guess.

 

"What do you usually write? Poems? Stories?" Seungwan asked, set in mind that she wrote verses and she can tell Joohyun about it.

 

"Letters."  Joohyun said, but her tone was neither proud nor excited. With the lack of a smile on Joohyun's face, Seungwan started feeling nervous.

 

"Ohh, that must be nice. Are you not the type to say things straightforwardly?" Seungwan tired, tried her best to sound casual, and it might have worked because Joohyun's next response was giggly and excited.

 

"Hahaha, I don't know! But, I know I can say all the things I want to tell you." Joohyun's hand landed on top of Seungwan's as she said this, catching her attention more than she already did in the past hour.

 

"Things like?" Seungwan couldn't help smiling in relief now, her hand slowly curling against Joohyun's.

 

"You're a very interesting person, Seungwan." Joohyun gave her a smile again, their hands slowly, very slowly moving to hold onto each other.

 

"You are too." But before Seungwan could lock her hand with Joohyun's, 

 

"We should go and get some sleep now." Joohyun stood up from her seat, giggling as she looked at Seungwan's disappointed and dissatisfied expression.

 

"Yeah, we should." Seungwan got up and yawned a bit, giving Joohyun a small smile as she stretched her arms.

 

"It would be fun if we do this again next time." Joohyun says, as if suggesting. Seungwan chuckled softly as she steps away a little. 

 

Joohyun did the same, they faced each other while slowly backing away. "It would be more fun if we go out on a date, maybe, some time."

 

Joohyun smiled and nodded. "Maybe, if you'll ask me out."

 

"Yeah, maybe I'll ask you out." Seungwan laughed softly, with that distance between them, she waved at the other girl.

 

After the long night thinking about how it felt good when she knew she made Joohyun feel better that night, Seungwan slept very well, woke up happy, and continued to talk to Joohyun through texts, free break times, and sometimes text at night as well. She wonders.. it's gonna be more amazing if she gets to do it anytime she wants. How? How do I get a chance to make Joohyun smile everytime I want to? 

 

"Jennie, you have to help me." On Sunday, Seungwan decided to ask Jennie's help.

 

"What now.." Sleepy Jennie slapped Seungwan's face with a pillow. Seungwan threw the pillow back on Jennie's bed and repeatedly poked Jennie's cheek again.

 

"Seungwan, let her sleep, she stayed up late waiting for a text from that cute girl in our class."

 

That was Chaeyoung cooking from their kitchen aisle. Seungwan furrowed her eyebrows before getting up, knowing Jennie's already awake but isn't ready to get off her bed yet. 

 

"What? Why was she waiting for her text?" Seungwan asked as she walked out of the bedroom and takes her seat across Yerim who was cooking so busy at the back of the aisle.

 

"The girl said she'll give Jennie a text about the final project and Jennie thought she's gonna text her last night." 

 

They have this final project. Jennie and Lisa are the class representatives for that class since their professor favored their looks. It happens sometimes. When they were introducing themselves, the two caught their professor's attention and they end up being the class leaders for that course only.

 

"Waited for a text about a class project? Wow Jennie, I don't even know you anymore." Seungwan said loudly, for Jennie to hear even from outside the room. 

 

"Go away, let me sleep!" Jennie shouted from the room, soon after, they saw a pillow flying across their small living room.

 

"What do you need her for?" Yerim asks, joining Chaeyoung and is already setting the table for their breakfast. Seungwan smiled confidently before responding.

 

"I'm going to ask Joohyun to date me." She replied with a sly smile on her face. Yerim stopped putting the plates on the table and gave her a look.

 

"Already..?" Yerim looked shocked. Was it unexpected? I've been telling them about Joohyun for days though.

 

"It's only been days, I know. But.. but she keeps hinting that she wants it too." Seungwan explained. It just feels itchy knowing they both want it and they could be together already instead of playing push and pull. 

 

Yerim shrugged at her but says it's up to Seungwan. For a moment, Seungwan starts doubting her plan. Was I overreacting? But then, after a minute, she heard footsteps coming from their bedroom and soon came Jennie holding a pillow while walking towards their dining table.

 

"Fine. I'm up." Jennie mumbled with eyes still closed. Seungwan chuckled.

 

She had it all set up. No-- Jennie had it all set up for Seungwan. All she had to do is ask Joohyun if she wants to meet up again later that night. You see, Jennie is a genius organizer. She helped Seungwan by setting up romantic lights on that spot where Seungwan and Joohyun met the other night. Jennie also lent her pocket speakers for Seungwan. It would be amazing, it should be. 

 

"All you have to do is click on this button, okay?" Jennie pressed Seungwan's thumb on the play button and there's a loud shriek from the speakers. Seungwan immediately turned the volume down and stopped the music from playing. 

 

"Jennie, I know how to use my phone," Seungwan says while pulling her hand away from Jennie, the latter laughed beside her.

 

"Just checking. Who knows? Maybe Joohyun will be the one who never gets away. At least I played a big part in it." Jennie teased. Yes, this is the first time Jennie is helping Seungwan in getting a girl. It was usually just Seungwan herself.

 

"I'm going now." Seungwan informed her, putting the speaker in her pocket after she received a text from Joohyun.

 

Jennie giggled and gave her shoulder a light pat. "Good luck, Wends!"

 

She's meeting Joohyun again. It's 10 PM and as she expected, it is cold again. Of course, she made sure to wear a coat this time, not forgetting how Joohyun noticed it the last time they did this. She walked her way to that spot again, not many people are there but obviously unlike the other night when everyone was asleep. There are more things Seungwan expected, she thought of what would happen. She thought she's gonna meet Joohyun where they could have a moment for just the two of them only. She thought the surroundings would be like the atmosphere is made for them as a couple. But to her surprise-- and slight disappointment, Seulgi's there sitting with Joohyun on that spot. She starts feeling nervous about having someone else around. 

 

"Here she is. Should I go now?" Seungwan heard Seulgi asking Joohyun as she approaches them. Seungwan continued walking, Seulgi has left the seat and is only being pulled by Joohyun on the bench.

 

"Wait- don't go to sleep yet! You should be awake when I get home okay!" Joohyun couldn't do anything anymore once Seulgi let go of her hand and started walking away. Meanwhile, in contrast to that was Seungwan feeling a slight relief.

 

"Yeah yeah, sure!" Seungwan watched as Seulgi walked away, back turned against them, waving cutely at Joohyun.

 

Once they're finally alone, Seungwan starts hearing the crickets whistling, the clod air brushing against her thick clothing as if telling her that this is the moment, she should start working as she planned. Seungwan shook her thoughts off and looked at Joohyun before taking the seat next to her.

 

"Ah.. I was nervous when she was here." Seungwan mumbled honestly, earning a slight chuckle from Joohyun.

 

"Why?" Joohyun moved closer to Seungwan, arms snaking around hers to lessen the cold air creeping in their spot. That's where Seungwan started stuttering-- at Joohyun's touch.

 

"I.. I told you I'm gonna a-ask.."

 

"Hey, Seungwan.. Calm down, okay? It's just me." Joohyun chuckles and caressed her back. "Yeah, you told me you're gonna ask me something."

 

Seungwan nodded, Joohyun's arms around her don't help at all. The truth is, Joohyun's hold on her makes her chest panic, and fingers clutch hard on her phone in her pocket. She can only attain not to hold her breath because she'll die if so, should I really ask her to date me now..?

 

"Is it that date?"

 

Seungwan panicked as soon as she heard Joohyun's voice reminding her of what she was supposed to do. Am I obvious? How did she know? Seungwan pressed her fingers harder against the cold device in her pocket and mistakenly clicked on the play button---out of nervousness.

 

"Yeah, I think, I like you.. and I do want to go out on a date with you. Would you say yes?" Seungwan rapped. Wow, I can rap. She didn't look at Joohyun's eyes, she was too panicky to do so. 

 

She thought Joohyun would , would be straightforward in responding to her not-so-million-dollar question but then, Joohyun paused. She was thinking. Moreover, she keeps glancing on the empty roadway where Seulgi left. 

 

But after a few seconds, Joohyun gave her a kiss on her cheek saying, "Of course, Seungwan."

 

Dating Joohyun was so amazing. It felt complete, like Seungwan finally found the perfect one for her. Of course, she and Joohyun will have a lot of storytelling to do, as they get to know each other more. And Seungwan enjoys every bit of it. 

 

"Hi Seungwan's girlfriend, good evening." Jennie greeted Joohyun one day as they sat in their classroom, waiting for their evening class to start.

 

"Good evening, Jennie. Did Seungwan eat her lunch today?" Joohyun asked after taking Yerim's seat, her small hands cupping her small face while her elbow rests on Yerim's desk. Jennie grinned at Seungwan.

 

"No, she only had coffee." What- And before Seungwan could defend herself, Joohyun already got off Yerim's seat to give Seungwan's shoulder a smack.

 

"Ya! I told you to eat lunch!" Joohyun hits Seungwan's shoulder again. This has happened a few times, mostly when she teases the girl--this time though is because of the sole reason that Joohyun thought she didn't eat lunch.

 

"She's joking! Why would you believe Kim Jennie?!" Seungwan caressed her shoulder, glaring at Jennie before pursing her lips in Joohyun's direction. She heard Jennie laughing hysterically beside them but Joohyun sitting on her desk caught her full attention.

 

"Really? You ate lunch well?" Joohyun asked, wrapping an arm around Seungwan's shoulder as she soon sat on Seungwan's lap. 

 

Seungwan casually held her girlfriend. "I did. Don't you think I'll be hungry after all the research discussion?"

 

Joohyun chuckled and nodded. "Fine. Do you have a partner yet?"

 

Oh right. Seungwan received the name of her partner for their final project. Jennie gave it to her earlier. She knows Joohyun would be excited about this unexpected pairing.

 

Before replying, Seungwan looked at Jennie first then glanced back at Joohyun. "Um, yeah.. Jennie said I'll be paired with Seulgi." 

 

Like Seungwan thought so, Joohyun's eyes glimmered in an instant when she heard Seulgi being paired with Seungwan. "Oh! Seulgi's good! You're lucky!"

 

"Hey! I'm your groupmate, you're the lucky one." Sooyoung came, walking to their spot at the back of the room with her arms crossed over her chest. Seungwan chuckled when Joohyun kissed her, excusing herself and getting off her lap to walk with Sooyoung back to their seats.

 

"Eh." Joohyun muttered as they walked away.

 

"Eh? Hey!"

 

Joohyun is the caring girlfriend. It's undeniably one of her cutest charms. In their span of two weeks of them dating, she learned a lot about Joohyun and her friends. She talked about them a lot-- especially Seulgi. At first, Seungwan thought of asking Jennie's help to ask Lisa for more information about Joohyun but Jennie's useless because the girl told her, "I won't involve me and Lisa in your dating life." Seungwan shook her head, still can't get her head wrapped around the fact that Jennie is actually hanging out with Lisa.

 

Seungwan understood Joohyun's way of balancing her life status, with her friends and love life. Seungwan adores her more for that. One good thing about being in a relationship is how your partner motivates you to be a better person. Since Joohyun seems to be a very nice friend, Seungwan felt like she can see how fun it is to admire her time with her friends. 

 

Nothing much changed between Seungwan and Joohyun. Nothing much aside from the fact that since Joohyun will still walk with Seulgi on their way to class and on their way back to dorms-- Seungwan thought maybe it's a bestfriendship thing, Seungwan has decided to just ask her out on weekend dates since that's where she could have a solo time with Joohyun. Joohyun agreed too.

 

"You like chocolates, huh?" Joohyun giggled while watching Seungwan eat her chocolate cake. Seungwan ignored her teasing girlfriend and continued eating.

 

They had a long walk from the university dorms to the nearby mall and Seungwan was hungry so they headed to a cafe first before they go shopping as Joohyun wished when they planned this date.

 

"Yeah. Take note of that. You'll have to buy a lot of this for me." Seungwan smiled at her, before taking a forkful piece of cake in again.

 

"I don't think I'll forget how cute you look with chocolate cake crumbs on your lips." 

 

Seungwan immediately took a piece of tissue napkin and wiped her lips. She was embarrassed but seeing how her simple actions make Joohyun laugh, she would want to be embarrassed all the time if it's what it takes for Joohyun to smile like that.

 

"Come on, smile!" Joohyun raised her phone and took pictures of embarrassed Seungwan. 

 

Seungwan was shy but she honestly enjoyed it. Joohyun continued taking pictures of her, and the real deal for Seungwan was that it felt like an honor to be Joohyun's source of entertainment. It feels just like yesterday, she's swooning over Joohyun and now she's her girlfriend. 

 

"Wanna see your pics?" Joohyun giggled at her, showing her the photos before she can even nod. 

 

As Seungwan takes Joohyun's phone to browse her photos, the latter excused herself and went to the restroom, taking her purse but her phone with her. Seungwan sipped from her cup of coffee as her thumb continued to swipe left. One more swipe and she was taken to the home screen. Joohyun must have customized her phone's shortcuts in smartphone touch assistance. 

 

It was Seungwan's first time accessing Joohyun's phone so she had to browse her in-phone applications to find her gallery. Something else caught her attention though.. a folder on the home screen named "🔒". When she clicked on it, there was only one content-- Notes. Why would Joohyun put this here-- Oh. Then she remembered, Joohyun loves writing. Seungwan smiled as she thought of it. This is her chance to get to know more of Joohyun's preferences. Out of excitement, Seungwan clicked the notes icon.

 

The notes are labeled with dates. Seungwan was unsure of what those meant, could be the date she wrote them? Could be. Since there are dates under each note as well, with time on when it was written. Seungwan chuckles, thinking it was cute of Joohyun to still put the dates as the note title although there is already time information in the app's function. 

 

Seungwan couldn't see what were the contents of those. She thinks she shouldn't. She was contemplating whether Joohyun would like it or not if she'd seen her works. So, Seungwan was going to revert back to looking for the gallery but she accidentally clicked on one of the notes in an attempt to use the home screen feature as she did earlier. 

 

She didn't want to read what was written.

 

Honestly, she didn't want to.. but her eyes were fast and she saw words that made her regret using Joohyun's phone. 

 

June 26, 2021.

 

This is hopeless.. Last week, I exchanged phones with Seul, hoping she'll read my letters to her but seems like she didn't check my notes even though I already put them on my home screen widgets.. :( God, this was my last hope, I think it's a sign I should stop hoping she'll ever realize my feelings for her.

 

There were more after it, paragraphs about what she did with Seul in the past weeks. Seul.. Seul.. Seulgi...? Seulgi. Seungwan closed her eyes for a moment as she looked back to all the moments she missed, all the signs she missed. All her efforts to make Joohyun smile, all the times she adored how Joohyun loved talking about her friends-- No, scratch that. How she admired Joohyun's closeness with Seulgi. 

 

.

 

"Seungwan.. Why are you reading that?" Joohyun asked, surprised to see what Seungwan had been doing. Seungwan looked behind her and saw Joohyun. She immediately avoided her eyes. She's confused, she didn't know what she'd do with this information. Instead of answering, she asked the more important question.

 

"W-why.. were you writing these?" 

 

It was obvious, but Seungwan was in denial. In denial that her girlfriend had been in love with her roommate, her bestfriend who spends every day with her, the same person who Joohyun walks with from dorms to class, and back to their dorm after dismissal, the same person Joohyun talks to every hour of every day of every week of every month in the past seven years. Joohyun explained to her that her last entry was one year ago, which should make her feel better. Joohyun showed her that the note she accidentally read was the last note she wrote for Seulgi. It was true, Seungwan saw the evidence Joohyun gave her. That same evidence Joohyun said was the last piece of her feelings for Seulgi. That Joohyun had moved on after that. 

 

"Seulgi and I are just friends, she treats me well as a good bestfriend and it was me who wanted more. You don't have to worry, okay? I have moved on. It's been a year since I stopped. I like you. I'm dating you." 

 

Joohyun continued to assure her for the rest of the day, and even in the next few days when the girl feels that Seungwan was acting a bit distant towards her. 

 

"Hey, your girlfriend brought you a cake again." Jennie said, holding the box of cake that must be from Joohyun. They have classes later but Joohyun must have dropped by while Seungwan is washing up and gave Jennie the cake. This is the third time since that day.

 

"How many more cakes are we getting? Seriously, you have to eat these because we don't have space in our fridge anymore." Yerim scolded her, taking the box from Jennie to place it in their fridge. Seungwan just chuckled at her friends. 

 

Seungwan noticed. She noticed how Joohyun wants to make up for it as if it was a sin that she wrote letters for her bestfriend. Seungwan felt bad when she realized it. She shouldn't be doing this to Joohyun. She's her girlfriend now. That should be enough. Her girlfriend didn't fail to give her assurance. That should be enough.

 

Except that it wasn't. 

 

Well, she tried. The next Saturday, Jennie, Chaeyoung and Yerim will be going to Lisa and Sooyoung's apartment to do their final project. Jennie and Lisa are paired up, while Yerim is gonna be working with  Sooyoung and Chaeyoung is teamed up with Joohyun. That left Seungwan no choice but to go to Seulgi's place-- which is also her girlfriend's apartment, to do their project together. Life is just ridiculous. Why does it have to be Seulgi?

 

"See you later, Seungwan!" Yerim waved at her. Seungwan waved back, and then looked at her girlfriend waiting for her to say something before she go with Yerim. 

 

Seungwan's at the doorstep to Seulgi and Joohyun's apartment. Joohyun's standing next to her, Seulgi must be inside. Yerim walked with her here to meet with Joohyun first before they go to Sooyoung's.

 

"Text me?" Joohyun asked her, bottom lip pursed out a bit and it was so cute, Seungwan giggled. 

 

"I will. I promise." Seungwan gave her a light pat on the crown of her head before kissing her lips. When she pulled away, she finally saw Joohyun's wide smile.

 

"Um, wait." Seungwan stopped Joohyun before the girl could walk far.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Is Seulgi a strict groupmate?" Seungwan asked precautiously, not that she's a loafer because she likes studying too, it's just that she doesn't want to be pressured if her pair is strict.

 

Joohyun laughed and shrugged at her, blowing her a kiss before running to Yerim's direction. Seungwan chuckled. Now that she's alone, she faced the open door, scanning the empty living room. She hasn't seen Seulgi since she got here earlier. Should I knock? 

 

But before Seungwan could knock, Seulgi appeared from the kitchen. 

 

"Oh, hey Seungwan! Has Joohyun left?" Seulgi asked, it was new to Seungwan seeing her classmate in a simple shirt and shorts, and a pair of slippers.

 

"Uh, yes. She just did. Have you eaten breakfast?" Seungwan asked, wanting to do this project fast and sooner but if Seulgi hasn't eaten yet, she could wait.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. Just preparing the food for dinner later. The girls said they'll eat here, right?" Seulgi prepped the couch for Seungwan to sit, then went back to the kitchen to finish what she was doing.

 

Right. Her friends told her they'll be gathering later there at Seulgi and Joohyun's apartment to eat dinner after the long day of doing projects.  

 

"Ah, yes. Are you gonna cook?" Seungwan was thinking of helping. In their dorm, all three of them cook well and so Seungwan can help share her cooking skills with Seulgi. 

 

Maybe it can bring us closer too.

 

Seulgi nodded at her. Seungwan never noticed that Seulgi's smile is.. like.. summer warmth. It's nice to see her smiling. Maybe Seungwan was intimidated before that she thought Seulgi was never smiling. 

 

They soon proceeded to do their project. Seulgi is good at organizing, she distributed their workload well and fairly. Joohyun was right, Seungwan is very lucky to be Seulgi's pair. It's not just because she leads well, she also helped Seungwan in those parts she couldn't figure out. Seungwan liked how detailed Seulgi was in explaining, it's like listening to a teacher, like having a tutor. 

 

"Um, wait a bit," Seulgi says after checking the time on her watch. The girl got off the couch and walked towards the TV set, taking the phone there.

 

Seungwan thought she's gonna do something personal so she went back to her work. Focused on her laptop, Seungwan was scrolling and skimming an article she saw online that could help them with their paper. She was writing down notes when she heard Seulgi talking on the phone.

 

"Hey, Soo" Soo? Seulgi must be on call with Sooyoung. It must be personal then, like Seungwan thought.

 

"Uh.. Yes, she's not answering my calls. Can you tell-" 

 

Seungwan heard Seulgi's frustrated whining so she looked at her to see what was going on. She saw Seulgi dialing someone again, must be Sooyoung again.

 

"Sooyoung just hung up on me!" Seulgi exclaimed as soon as the person on the other line answered her call. Seungwan chuckled as she listened. 

 

"Don't laugh." Seulgi warned her, joking. At least in the past two hours, Seungwan and Seulgi became closer to this extent. It could also be that the other person on the call was laughing too. 

 

After Seungwan raised her hands in defeat, Seulgi scratched her head and mouthed "sorry, this will be quick" before going back to talking on her phone. Seungwan smiled at her and continued typing. She's almost done soon and they can polish their work after this and Seulgi's phone call.

 

"Ya--"

 

"Yes, We're doing great. Have you brought your vitamins?" Oh?

 

"Joohyun- Your mom said you can't skip." 

 

Seungwan stopped what she was doing at the mention of her girlfriend's name. Joohyun? She was talking to Joohyun? Then so far, from what she heard, Seulgi called Sooyoung because Joohyun was not answering her call. And what.. Vitamins? Seungwan guessed it's just fair that Seulgi's checking on Joohyun, they lived for years. This is fine.

 

"Fine."

 

"I think we're almost done. Do you want me to bring it to you?" Seungwan looked at Seulgi again, the girl was eyeing her as well. Seungwan wished she could be the one to bring it, will it be fine to ask Seulgi? 

 

But she didn't have to.

 

"Seungwan and I can bring it."

 

"Okay. We'll be there by lunch."

 

"I know. I know. I just forgot to text you, we're busy, you know."

 

After what Seungwan just heard, she can conclude that indeed, Seulgi and Joohyun are the best of friends. Joohyun wasn't lying that they're real bestfriends. Seulgi cares about her girlfriend a lot.. must be way more than Seungwan does.

 

They soon finished doing their paper. It's pretty fast because as Seungwan said, Seulgi is really good at this. She's very intelligent and leads well. She's not strict and very considerate too. If she was Seungwan's type, she might be hitting on her now. That's a joke. But anyway, her time spent with Seulgi was really comfortable, unlike what she thought.. that maybe it's gonna be awkward, considering what she knows and their relationships with Joohyun. 

 

Seungwan had no problem when they were working. But once they finished and decided to go out, that's where her thoughts about Seulgi started changing, even worsening. She felt terrible.

 

"How's Joohyun as a girlfriend? Is she bothering you too much?" Seulgi asked while they walk towards the direction of Sooyoung and Lisa's apartment. 

 

"Huh? Oh- Hahaha, no, she's actually fun to be with." Seungwan fiddled with her bracelet as she talked, anticipating about this conversation being the second phase of her getting-to-know Joohyun activity.

 

Seulgi laughed knowingly. "Yeah, she is."

 

"Can I ask about her exes?" Seungwan asked, it's the first question that popped in her head.

 

"Oh, them? They're uh.. different cases." Different? Seungwan continued asking, if there was one person who'll know about this, it would be Seulgi so she'll take advantage of this moment.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Seungwan is good at observing. Her gun is listening, her bullet is conversing. Sometimes she could see what kind of person someone is by listening to their responses, and how they take the conversations. This talk.. will be the first time she'll hate her talent in observing people. She didn't like what she saw in Seulgi's eyes as they continued talking.

 

"They're boys who are full of themselves. I didn't like any of them for her." Seungwan chuckled as she listened, typical bestfriend reactions to boyfriends.

 

"You said they're different cases, is that all?" She asked more and Seulgi shook her head.

 

"They're different cases because you're somehow.. different. Even the way Joohyun treats you is different. I think it's the first time I'll approve someone for her."

 

"Aww. You approve me?" At this moment, it felt like she was talking to Joohyun's mom. Seungwan wished they ended the conversation there.

 

Seulgi laughs. "It depends. Joohyun.. She deserves so much better than her past relationships. She's a person who might look clumsy but she looks after the people she cares about. She deserves someone who would understand her actions, how she acts-- You see, she acts according to her feelings. Quite impulsive sometimes, but it's cute."

 

Seungwan didn't say anything, she continued listening, hoping she would learn a lesson here. But then, there's something more she learned, something more she noticed.. something more between Seulgi and Joohyun.

 

"She deserves someone who will focus on her everyday, every time, all the time. She deserves to be taken care of. Someone who will listen to her thoughts.. Joohyun is really thoughtful. There would be times she'll get too excited about things and you'll just.. get lost in her eyes. She deserves someone who's ready to live in her universe.. who will treat her like a princess. Someone who would make her feel special because she is special. Someone who knows when she needs someone to hold her. She's.. something.. irreplaceable. She--"

 

At this point, the mom-like voice faded and all Seungwan could hear was.. a person helplessly in love with another person-- who's unfortunately, her girlfriend. Seulgi sounded like she's wishing the best treatment for Joohyun-- Seungwan agreed but as much as she does, in her ears, all Seulgi said that Joohyun deserved will only be delivered by none other than Seulgi herself.

 

So she stopped her.

 

"She deserves you," Seungwan said with a small nod. It was hard to admit.. but after what revelation she saw days ago.. and what she heard just now..

 

"What?" Seulgi stopped walking, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at what Seungwan just said. No- It's more like she's shocked that Seungwan figured it out.

 

"You like her.. No, you love her." Seungwan stated, not looking at Seulgi in the eyes because she hates that she realized she's stuck with two bestfriends in love with each other.. and she doesn't know if she'll let go or be the reason to help them move on.

 

"Seungwan.. I'm sorry, please. Please don't tell her." Seulgi begged, Seungwan swore that the slight glimpse she had of Seulgi's face only made it even harder knowing she's tearing up.

 

My god.. Have they been doing this to each other for years?

 

Seungwan promised. It's hard enough to know her girlfriend's perfect match was and has always been someone else. She can't bear to see Seulgi crying because of her. Seungwan told Seulgi she's going back to her dorm and won't be having dinner with them as they planned. As she promised not to tell Joohyun about Seulgi's feelings, she made Seulgi promise in return to not let Joohyun go to herself because she needs to think.

 

Seulgi lets her.

 

She had been thinking about it.. that whatever she does, she can't beat Seulgi in Joohyun's heart. But back then, she thought, ah well, it's not like Seulgi feels the same towards Joohyun. Now, it's a completely different situation. 

 

Seungwan now knows Joohyun already belongs to someone else. She might be the girlfriend, but she doesn't have her heart. If she continues dating Joohyun, it will only corrupt her. She.. She can't handle that. 

 

"What did I do wrong?" 

 

"Nothing." 

 

You just.. belong to someone now and you're just not aware of it. Here Seungwan is, sitting on her bed at 11 PM, on-call with Joohyun when she decided.. for everyone's sake, to break up with the best girlfriend she ever had. She just knows that she can't do this. Seulgi's right. Joohyun deserves so much. She deserves a happy ending.. just not with Seungwan.

 

"What the hell, Seungwan. I threw all the things, all the principles I had away when I chose to date you and this is what I get? Don't you know you're the first girl I ever dated? You don't get to decide who and what's for me!"

 

"I want you for myself, Joohyun. But that's never gonna happen." Seungwan mumbled against her phone's speaker, she looked forward and saw her friends arriving.

 

"You- You're confusing me.. God, Seungwan, you're being selfish. I already told you I'm done with that!"

 

If only you know.

 

Joohyun was so upset that she ended the call. Seungwan can't blame her. As Seungwan placed her phone under her pillow, she hugged her knees and hid her face on her forearms. Soon, she felt Yerim's hold on her, Chaeyoung and Jennie sat beside, comforting her.