It’s been a little over a year and it has felt like decades for Joohyun in that home— house, she can barely call it a home. She sees Suho less and less each day and yet she does not do anything to stop him. To keep him here with her in one place. At this point, she’s enabling it. The distance and the quiet nights.

 

Joohyun knows she’s killed some part of her on that wedding day. 

 

Joohyun knows she’s killed something in Seungwan too on that wedding day.

 

She knows where it all went wrong and she doesn’t know why she couldn’t stop it before Seungwan slipped through her grasp. A hollowness eats away at Joohyun everyday that he doesn’t see or talk to Seungwan. She hasn’t really been talking to anyone. The isolation doesn’t hit her until her father’s calling her and asking if she’s been with any friends recently. 

 

There are people like Sooyoung and Seulgi who try to talk to her and she feels as if she does say a word to them, the dams will break free and she will beg them to bring back Seungwan— but that is selfish and Joohyun would not stoop so slow. Yerim messages her sometimes, but she’s on vacation in Hawaii, so Joohyun tries not to talk to Yerim too much as she doesn’t want to bother her time.

 

She doesn’t know how to face any of her loved ones.

 

She just sees her mother, Suho, Suho's mother, his father, his family, his extended family— almost everyday without fail. They hold hands at the table and they greet everyone with smiles. In Joohyun’s other hand, she’s digging her nails deep into her palm— reminding herself that this isn’t what she wanted to choose and that she had a choice. Her choice was Seungwan and she couldn’t protect both sides from getting hurt.

 

“Don’t you think it’s time now, honey?” Her mother’s voice looms over her darkly. “You’re married, settled down now - I think it’s time for kids.”

Suho and Joohyun share a look and neither want to be here.

“We’re - we’re working on it.” Suho swoops in.

“Very well!” His mother coos.

 

It’s night time when Suho drives them back to that place and they haven’t entered the estate yet. They’re sitting silently in the car. There are things to say, but neither know how to start properly.

 

“I’ve been unfair.” Suho swallows. “...we’re in this together whether we like it or not.”

“I know.” Joohyun answers quietly.

“I’m sorry for leaving you behind in that house”, Suho gestures to the house in front of them. “I was only thinking of myself - I didn’t think of you. I’m sorry.” 

 

Joohyun doesn’t expect this from him at all. In her mind, Suho was always going to be the good boy to his parents who parties behind their back and only cares about himself. Joohyun doesn’t know what possesses her really, but she’s crying quietly and her tears are overflowing— like she had been holding them in for a long time.

 

“I’m sorry.” He says with tears in his eyes. He wraps his fingers loosely around Joohyun’s hand. 

“We don’t deserve this.” Joohyun chuckles humorously. 

“No, we don’t.” Suho grins with tears in his eyes.

 

“I think.. I think we were too scared to do anything. To defy them.” Joohyun refers to their parents bitterly.

“Yeah. I’m still scared but…” Suho takes a deep breath. “I want to be able to break free to love her.”

 

Joohyun perks up at the mention of a woman.

 

“You… you’ve been seeing someone?” Joohyun asks.

“I have. I’m sorry.” Suho swallows thickly.

“No, no - don’t be sorry. I’m glad.” Joohyun says softly and Suho cries. “Is it Seohyun you were seeing in high school?”

“Yeah.” Suho nods. “We broke up a little during college and I didn’t think I’d find her again but… I got drunk a while ago at a bar and she was there. I ended up telling her about our situation and initially we were friends, but I guess old habits die hard.” He shrugs. “...she wants to meet up with me and you. She misses you, y’know? She still tells me about when she used to tutor you when you were younger.”

“I’d like that. I’d like to see her.” Joohyun nods with a smile.

 

It’s quiet again and they’ve wiped their faces clear of tears.

 

“What about you then?” Suho asks.

“What about me?” Joohyun blinks.

“Who did you leave behind that made you cry like this?” Suho asks her.

“N-no one.” Joohyun shakes her head dismissively. 

“You’re bad at lying.” Suho says and Joohyun frowns.

“Just…” Joohyun thinks of Seungwan. “I haven’t seen my friends in a long time, y’know. I haven’t spoken to them much either. No offence, but this marriage is like living on probation with our families breathing down our necks twenty-four-seven.” Joohyun shudders.

“Tell me about it.” Suho huffs.

 

“So how do you have time to see Seohyun-unnie, anyways? I don’t remember you being a very good liar either.” Joohyun asks.

“Well, I’m lucky you and Seohyun have the same first name.” Suho smiles cheekily.

“Oh - you !” Joohyun scoffs in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable!”

“What?! It’s not my fault you guys have the same name!” Suho laughs and Joohyun rolls her eyes before laughing too.

 

The laughter settles and something resolute slips in.

 

“Let’s make a plan.” Suho turns to her seriously.

“Okay.” Joohyun agrees without thought because frankly, she’s quite tired of everything and she’s practically dying to be with Seungwan.

“We find ourselves a lawyer that won’t put our divorce in the news and then divorce each other quietly.” Suho proposes. “That way, we can both be happy and be with the people we love.”

“How would we face our families after the divorce?” Joohyun questions.

“We don’t.” Suho says it as if it’s simple.

“It’s not that simple.” Joohyun argues.

“It could be simple.” Suho laughs. “I’m twenty-nine and you’re twenty-seven for god’s sake. We’re adults. Let’s just do whatever the we want! We’ll just avoid them, block them, run away - all that jazz.” 

 

Joohyun recalls a distant memory of Seungwan on her wedding night.

 

“Still not too late to back out, y’know.” Seungwan says softly. “Run away with me and we can open a laundromat together. Live in a small apartment, do tax, cook together - and Seulgi, Sooyoung, and Yerim can visit us.”

“That sounds nice.” Joohyun plays with her fingers wrapped around Seungwan’s shoulders.

“Does it? It sounds quite sad, just us two in a dingy apartment.” Seungwan laughs.

“Nothing’s quite sad with you, Seungwan-ah.” Joohyun smiles softly as she speaks seriously.

 

“In that case,” Joohyun smiles for real for the first time in a while. “Let’s get drunk tonight.”

 

They’re singing, they’re dancing, they’re crying— shouting repents and expressing their thoughts at the top of their lungs as they down bottles of old wine stocked away in the cabinets. For the first time since they’ve moved to this house, it actually looks like there’s people who inhabit this place happily without any false pretence.

 

The next day they wake up, they don’t feel as great as they did before and somehow Seohyun’s in the house and she’s gently brushing Joohyun’s stray hairs away from her face as the latter is still passed out on the couch.

 

Suho doesn’t lay as gracefully as he’s on the floor with his shirt stained with wine. 

 

“Joohyun-ah, wake up.” Seohyun coos softly.

“S-Seungwan..” Joohyun calls out in her sleep softly.

Seohyun smiles like a mother.

“Wrong person, cutie. It’s your Seohyun-unnie.” Seohyun giggles lightly. Joohyun blinks awake blearily and her eyes widen slightly.

“Oh - uh - u-unnie!” Joohyun sits up too fast and her hangover hits her in the form of a violent headache.

“Slowly. You guys drank like three bottles of wine all together.” Seohyun shakes her head slightly as she holds Joohyun upright.

“Sorry.” Joohyun winces.

“What were you guys even up to?” Seohyun asks.

“We were celebrating a little, I guess.” Joohyun shrugs.

“Celebrating what?” Seohyun questions.

 

Joohyun opens to answer but Suho suddenly shoots up from the ground in a sitting position.

 

“Independence and my love for Seo Joohyun!” He exclaims before falling back and snoring again.

“Oh.” Seohyun blinks at the sight of the man she loves.

“Yeah. That.” Joohyun shrugs sheepishly.

“Okay.” Seohyun in a breath as she looks at the kid in front of her and the idiot on the floor. “You go wash up, darling and I’ll make hangover soup for you and Suho, okay?”

“Okay.” Joohyun nods obediently before getting up and walking to her room upstairs.

 

When Joohyun returns from freshening up, she finds Suho sitting small on the stool at the kitchen counter as he slurps on the hangover soup quietly after possibly being scolded.

 

Joohyun slides onto the stool beside him and Seohyun serves her a fresh hot bowl of the soup with a pat on the head. 

 

“How come you knew to come look after us?” Joohyun asks.

“You guys drunk dialled me at like three in the morning.” Seohyun informs them and a sudden dread fills Joohyun’s stomach.

She turns to Suho. “Did we call anyone else?” 

“Not that I know of. We used your phone - I think?” Suho scratches his chin.

Joohyun stands up quickly and heads upstairs to her room where her phone was charging. She unplugs it and brings it down as she checks the call history as she ascends down from the stairs. The call log only shows Seohyun’s number being called three times in a row and no one else. She lets out a breath of relief.

 

“Did you think you called Seungwan too?” Seohyun asks her knowingly and her eyes snap up to meet Seohyun’s.

“Uh - yeah… kind of.” Joohyun chuckles nervously before sitting back down. “I didn’t, though. Thankfully.”

“Why? Don’t you want to call her?” Seohyun presses.

“I - I can’t. Not after…” Joohyun trails off, shaking her head at the thought of hurting Seungwan. “I don’t think she'll want to see me.”

“Why wouldn’t she want to see you, Joohyun? You guys have been best friends since high school - and even before that.” Seohyun says.

“I know - but it’s different now.” Joohyun shrugs dismissively. “She’s still in the U.S for all I know.”

 

Seohyun taps her finger against the counter— not knowing if she should speak or not.

 

“She’s not.” Seohyun reveals. 

Joohyun stops poking at her soup and her head snaps up to face Seohyun.

 

“What?” Joohyun blinks.

“I saw her a few days ago. Maybe a couple weeks ago.” Seohyun says vaguely.

“Are you - are you sure?” Joohyun stammers.

“Yes. I’m sure I bumped into her at the grocery store and she bowed ninety-degrees to me like she used to do in high school - aish, that kid.” Seohyun chuckles affectionately.

 

Joohyun swallows thickly.

 

“You should see her.” Seohyun says.

“I..” Joohyun doesn’t know how to start— her heart’s racing and her head still hurts.

“You miss her and she misses you. It’s that simple.” Seohyun says.

 

“Wait - wait - Bae Joohyun.” Suho splutters for a moment and the two women look at him.

“You lied to me yesterday!” Suho says, pointing a finger directly at Joohyun. “You do have someone! You’re in love with Seungwan!”

 

Seohyun swats away Suho’s hand— saying something about how pointing at someone is disrespectful, but Joohyun isn’t really listening anymore as a white-noise begins to buzz in her mind. Somehow, hearing it out of someone else's mouth makes it even more daunting. To hear the truth, to understand it fully that yes— this is how Joohyun feels. This is what Joohyun thinks about day and night, this is what Joohyun cries to the moon about— this, this, and this. 

 

Son Seungwan.

Bae Joohyun is in love with Seungwan. 

 

And it’s about time she should do something about it.

 

—

—

—

 

“So…” Seulgi taps her fingers against the table as she sits in front of Seungwan in her new house.

“Yes?” Seungwan sighs. “You have been wanting to ask me something since we got here.”

“Just.. y’know..” Seulgi hums.

“Just y’know, what?” Seungwan deadpans.

“Oh for god’s sake! When are you going to see Joohyun-unnie!” Sooyoung butts in.

“Sooyoung! You can’t be too forward!” Seulgi hisses and whispers the last part. “...what if she runs away again?”

“Well, you were taking too long!” Sooyoung argues.

“Relax, I’m not running away - at least for now.” Seungwan shakes her head slightly at her friend’s antics.

 

“For now? Are you planning on leaving again?” Sooyoung asks as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“I don’t - I don’t know. Not yet.” Seungwan shrugs dismissively.

“You can’t run away this time. I’m dead serious.” Sooyoung says. “You need to tell Joohyun-unnie how you feel.”

“It’s too late.” Seungwan sighs. 

“Hasn’t it always been too late for you?” Seulgi asks sadly.

“Early in my life alongside Joohyun, I already knew everything about us would be too late.” Seungwan says softly.

 

Sooyoung reaches across the table and holds Seungwan’s hand gingerly.

 

“Please, for the sake of peace of mind. Tell her everything. She misses you too, she wants to see you.” Sooyoung says. “You’ve already bought this place to stay. It must mean something.”

Seungwan swallows thickly as she takes in Sooyoung words. Indeed she had bought this house. She didn’t know why she did on the surface level, but deep inside her— she knew what she was doing. It’s not because she needed a home, or because she just wanted to waste money.

 

This house carries memories like no other. 

 

Years ago when they were still carrying around toys and books, there was this house they always passed when they were being driven around. It’s not a big house, it’s not a modern house. It is old and it is warm. 

 

We’ll live there when we’re older.” Joohyun tells her when they’re ten and know nothing.

“We can’t live together when we’re older! We’re going to get married and have families!” Seungwan guffaws. 

“That’s stupid. Everyone always talks about this and that.” Joohyun pouts.

“Because that’s what happens when you’re grown ups.” Seungwan says.

“No. I’m going to do it differently.” Joohyun days with a glint in her eyes.
“How?” Seungwan wants to be let into Joohyun’s mind too.

“I’m going to marry you and we’re going to live together in that house right there.” Joohyun says proudly. “That way, we can be happy together forever.”

 

Seungwan grins.

 

“Okay.” She agrees, she agrees, she agrees. “Let’s do it.”

 

Seungwan had always kept track of that house on that street because somewhere in her mind, the things Joohyun said to her when they were younger stuck to her. When she discovered the house was on the market, she didn’t hesitate to swoop in and take the opportunity to write her name on the estate (beside Joohyun’s). It was always theirs. 

 

“I will.” Seungwan says, looking up with some sort of clarity in her mind. “I’ll see her.”

 

Sooyoung squeezes her hand and Seulgi nods affirmingly.

 

Seungwan has always been in love with Joohyun.

It’s time to do something about it.

 

—

—

—

 

  

 

It’s hours of research, forgotten meals, naps in between and still— there are no reliable lawyers or law firms they can accept. With digging from Seohyun, she had found articles of corrupt lawyers exposing socialite and famous clients— which was obviously a no-go-zone for Suho and Joohyun.

 

“This is actually more tedious than I expected.” Suho sighed as he sipped on his coffee.

“I know.” Joohyun sighs deeply. “Why are lawyers so difficult?”

“Probably ‘cause they make good money.” Suho shrugs and Joohyun groans.

“When and where will we find an adequate lawyer that won’t expose our mess!” Joohyun whines and slams her head down on the table.

 

Suho pats her back in lieu of support.

 

It’s a moment of silence and then Joohyun raises her head abruptly and Suho jolts back. Joohyun is unblinking and Suho is blinking— wanting in on whatever epiphany Joohyun just had. 

 

“What?” Suho blinks.

“Oh my god.” Joohyun whispers as a realisation settles in her mind.

“What?!” Suho asks again.

“We do know a lawyer that can help us.” Joohyun’s eyes widen in excitement but Suho remains confused.

“Who?” He asks.

 

Joohyun grins widely.

 

“Yerim!”

 

“I can’t believe you guys actually made me fly back from Hawaii for this!” Yerim complains from the backseat as Suho drives with Joohyun in the passenger seat.

“Sorry, you were the only lawyer we knew we could trust.” Joohyun says sheepishly.

“That’s damn right!” Yerim shouts.

“Easy on the volume, I’m driving.” Suho chastises.

“I will be as loud as I want to be! I’m doing this out of my free will!” Yerim complains but Joohyun knows she doesn’t mean it.

“Thank you again, Yerim-ah.” Joohyun smiles at her and Yerim brushes her off slightly with a pink tinge to her cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.. just remember to buy me something nice.” Yerim mumbles.

 

So that’s a done deal. Now Yerim has to settle back into her firm and present a divorce document for the two and they must present valid reasoning for the divorce to actually go through quickly, and that process could take weeks to months.

 

Joohyun had finally mustered the courage to gather just Seulgi and Sooyoung at a café in broad daylight where there was no ring on her finger. She had no reason to wear it anymore.

 

“Your ring.” Sooyoung had always been the first to notice things. “You’re not wearing it.”

Joohyun nods as she holds a warm cup of tea in her palms.

“Are you getting it cleaned?” Asks Seulgi with a mouth full of a bite of a pastry— god bless her.

“No.” Joohyun says.

 

They’re blinking, blinking, blinking— and then it comes.

 

“No way.” Sooyoung is unbelieving.

Joohyun conspicuously takes a long gulp of her tea.

 

“No ing way.” Sooyoung grins.

“What?” Seulgi asks, not catching on. “What is it?” 

“We’re divorcing each other.” Joohyun finally spits it out.

“What!” Seulgi splutters. “W-why?! I thought Suho was a good guy!”

“Well he is, but we’re not in love with each other and we’ve decided to finally rebel against our families.” Joohyun shrugs— smiling lightly as she suddenly feels some sort of weight lifting itself off of Joohyun’s entire being.

“Good for you, unnie! What the hell!” Sooyoung walks over and immediately hugs Joohyun until the smaller woman disappears in her arms.

“Thanks, Soo.” Joohyun says softly.

 

Sooyoung returns to her seat beside Seulgi.

 

“So… what brought this on?” Sooyoung asks bashfully.

“Well… I realised that I have been a little in my family for a long time, and have been doing things their way and doing things they want for most of my life”, Joohyun says. “And I just had an epiphany that this was not what I wanted to do and I should have a say.”

“Very true.” Sooyoung nods.

“I want to be able to love Seungwan like how I want to.” Joohyun confesses and Seulgi begins to pout and her bottom lip quivers.

“Unnie…” Seulgi whines before going over to hug Joohyun too.

“Yah, are you crying?” Joohyun laughs.

“No! I’m happy - these are happy tears!” Seulgi cries.

 

It takes another while to settle Seulgi down, so Joohyun buys her another pastry.

 

“So Suho just agreed with it?” Sooyoung asks.

“Well, no - he was the one who initiated it.” Joohyun says. “Turns out he’s been going out to see Seohyun-unnie and he wants me to be happy too, so he suggested it and basically, Seohyun-unnie and Suho told me to get my head out of my and figure things out with Seungwan… which is what I will do.”

“Good for Suho, I guess.” Sooyoung says wryly. “Also, how did you know Seungwan was back?”
“I didn’t. Seohyun bumped into her at the grocery store so she told me about it.” Joohyun tells them.

“Sorry for not telling you about it. Seungwan said not to bother.” Seulgi says.

“It’s okay. You guys are her friends as much as you are mine. You have the right to keep things from me.” Joohyun says. “And speaking of keeping things away - I need you two to not say anything to Seungwan yet because the divorce is still going through its hearing.”

“Okay - we promise not to say anything.” Seulgi and Sooyoung nod eagerly.

 

“One more question, who’s your lawyer?” Sooyoung asks. “I doubt it was easy to find a trusty lawyer since how influential and huge your family is.” 

“Guess who our lawyer is.” Joohyun snorts.

 

Sooyoung gasps.

 

“You two are sneaky s!” Sooyoung exclaims. “I asked Yerimmie what she was doing back from her vacation so soon and she left me on read!” 

“Sorry - had to keep it a bit under wraps.” Joohyun says with a chuckle.

“Fair enough, though. It is a very serious matter, anyways.” Seulgi laughs.

 

After the meeting with her favourite friends, there was a lighter skip to Joohyun’s steps and she felt like things may be heading in the right direction after all.

 

In lieu of going in the right direction;

 

Joohyun doesn’t have a single clue of what she’s doing. There had been numerous phone calls to Seohyun about how to go on about this. There were text messages exchanged between Sooyoung, Seulgi, Yerim and even Suho and at some point— she was losing her mind completely. 

 

“Relax, unnie. You’ve been best friends for years - just chat her up like you usually do!” Sooyoung sighs into her phone as Seulgi sleeps beside her. It is eight in the morning on a Saturday, after all.

“But it’s different! It’s all so different now!” Joohyun whines as she paces in her room. “I’m quite literally going to confess to her - I’ve never done that - I don’t know how!”

“Unnie, unnie, unnie. I love you and all but it is eight am and Seulgi is dead asleep and I need cuddles - and you can have that too if you pull your head out of your and woman up.” Sooyoung says bluntly. “Call her, tell her you want to meet and that’s all. She’s not going to say no to you.”

“Okay.. okay.” Joohyun takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for bothering you so early, Soo.” 

“No worries. Don’t do this again ‘cause I hope you make babies with Seungwan and call it a day.” Sooyoung says and Joohyun doesn’t have the heart to scold her on her crude language, so she laughs instead.

“Okay - thank you. I love you, Sooyoung-ah.” Joohyun says.

“I love you too, unnie. You can do it.” Sooyoung says more quietly as she begins to fall asleep again.

“Okay. Go back to sleep, bye.” Joohyun chuckles.

“Mhm.” Sooyoung nods and Joohyun ends the call.

 

Joohyun lays back down on her bed and occupies herself with books, movies, music and games until she exits all of it and sits ups on her bed to bring up Seungwan’s contact. Her fingers hover above her keyboard pathetically before she just says it, and sends a message.

 

> Can I see you Seungwan?

 

Joohyun has some sort of trepidation boring into her mind as she waits on Seungwan’s response. What if she’s busy and won’t reply? What if she hates Joohyun? What if—

[read]

…

 

< When?

 

> When is it good for you?

< Let’s meet now. Come over, I’m cooking.

 

 

Joohyun grabs her coat and heads downstairs to the bus station near her house.

 

Her heart is resolute and she hopes her mind will follow through.

 

—

—

—

 

Joohyun doesn’t know how long she stands outside Seungwan’s apartment door and she knows she’s meant to just knock and enter, but her hand shakes when she raises it and her heart is suddenly beating like she ran a marathon— she came by bus for god's sake!

 

She does it anyway and Seungwan opens the door mere monster after and Joohyun flinches from the sudden movement and blinks when she takes in Seungwan’s appearance. She curses at herself when the first thing that comes out of is barely a proper sentence.

 

“Hair - your hair!” Joohyun blinks. “You cut it…”

“I did.” Seungwan smiles softly. “Like it?”

“I love it. It suits you so much.” Joohyun says softly.

 

Seungwan’s hair had always been kept at a reasonable length at her shoulder and was usually kept light-brown. It was now cropped shorter and it was many shakes darker.

 

She was beautiful.

 

“Come in, I’m almost done.” Seungwan brings her into the warm apartment and takes her coat chivalrously.

 

Joohyun looks around the apartment and finds everything uncharacteristically tidy and empty. There are boxes in the living room and the rooms almost echo.

 

“Are you going somewhere again?” Joohyun asks. Again?

“Not out of the country, don’t worry.” Seungwan chuckles from the kitchen. “Just moving.”

“Oh.” Joohyun swallows as she enters the kitchen area.

 

Joohyun sits obediently at the dinner table and she sits on her hands as she tries to think of ways to speak to Seungwan like a normal person but to no avail, no ways come to her aid.

 

“Why are you so quiet, hm?” Seungwan lightly pinches the tip of Joohyun’s nose between her knuckles as she places the plates of toast, eggs, bacon and sausages down in front of Joohyun.

“Nothing - uh, it’s just been a while… y’know.” Joohyun says sheepishly and Seungwan smiles sweetly.

“It has been.” Seungwan agrees softly. 

“Eat before it gets cold. We have the whole day to catch up.” Seungwan gestures for Joohyun to eat and Joohyun nods happily like a child.

 

Whole day to catch up.

 

Joohyun’s insides feel all warm, mushy— and she feels just about all the clichés.

 

They’re not being subtle about it at all— the longing looks over the plates, pretending to look away, only to look back again. It is shy and childlike, all the dancing around and the feelings of strange distance— but not unwelcome.

 

“How have you been holding up?” Seungwan asks first.

“I’ve..” Joohyun chews on her lips, and then she looks up to meet Seungwan’s kind eyes. “I’ve been good. I haven’t caused trouble.”

“Yet.” Seungwan adds and Joohyun grins cheekily.

“Yes. Yet.” Joohyun ducks her head shyly.

 

They eat the rest of their breakfast cleanly and Joohyun sits restlessly, still figuring out in her mind how to speak.

 

“How was the U.S?” Joohyun eventually asks. She had thought about asking how Seungwan was, but maybe that was a stupid question. Luckily, she didn’t go with it.

“It was good. Spent so much time in the studio and worked with some famous people.” Seungwan tells her.

“Oh. I guess you’re one of those famous people too now, right?” Joohyun humours.

“Shh - can’t get too cocky too early.” Seungwan grins like the cheshire.

“Oh please.” Joohyun rolls her eyes with a smile.

 

Seungwan washes the dishes and Joohyun sips on a warm cup of tea.

 

Joohyun looks out the window of Seungwan’s apartment and finds the weather just perfect.

 

“Want to take a walk with me?” Joohyun turns back.

Seungwan smiles, having returned from the kitchen.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

 

They leave Seungwan’s apartment like it’s a daily occurrence and Seungwan had put on a puffy coat and had wrapped an extra scarf around Joohyun— just in case. Joohyun hesitates to link their arms together, but Seungwan stops and turns and sticks her elbow out for Joohyun to grab.

 

It was like nothing had changed and they were always best friends first, but this time around— nothing’s stopping them anymore.

 

They walk past the library and Seungwan tells her a fun fact about how the library used to be a hospital before it became a school and then a library. Joohyun tells her that in high school, she had fallen into the small pot hole near the park and was too embarrassed and in pain after that, she just ended up not coming to school.

 

They reminisce on stories that have remained dormant for far too long and along the way, the linked arms become intertwined hands and Joohyun never wants to let go, and Seungwan pretends she doesn’t feel the absence of a wedding ring.

 

They’re down the street, and they pass by a small community hall. There’s a person outside holding brochures and they smile right when Joohyun and Seungwan walk by.

 

“Hi! Afternoon!” They greet cheerfully.

“Afternoon.” Seungwan nods with a polite smile.

“Can I interest you in a walk in the art exhibition?” They say.

“Who’s hosting it, if I may ask?” Joohyun asks as she lets go of Seungwan’s hand to open and skim through the brochure.

“We have some of the finest art collections from our elders and community college art students.” The person tells them. “We thought it’s be nice to be able to display a few of them for the public.”

“That’s amazing.” Seungwan nods and looks at Joohyun. “Want to head in?”

“Yeah. Sure.” joohyun smiles— intertwining their hands once again.

“Welcome and enjoy!” The person waves at them as they push open the doors to the hall.

 

There are series of oil paintings, photographs, sculptures and just about everything the creative mind creates. 

 

There’s a blank white wall in the centre of everything and Joohyun looks around to see if anyone has information on what was going to happen but her question never forms as the lights dim and a video begins to project onto the wall.

 

It is a video about growing up and how change affects love. There are images of children and later the adult versions in the same places their child-self were previously. There are old houses, new buildings, more people in frame and less people in frame. 

 

There is a wave of nostalgia as Joohyun turns to look around, and finds everyone with someone else. They are hugging, whispering sweet words— they are young, old, small, big— many of them and little of them in groups.

 

Joohyun looks at Seungwan and finds her looking right back, and they haven’t let go of each other’s hands either.

 

“Let’s go home. I have something to show you.” Seungwan tugs on her hand.

“Okay.” Joohyun agrees wholeheartedly.

 

Okay, okay, okay.

 

When they get back to Seungwan’s apartment, Seungwan tells her to wait downstairs. Seungwan comes running down with a set of car keys and a different set of keys in the other.

 

“Here, hold onto these.” She passes over the smaller set of keys before unlocking the car. They both get it.

 

“Where are we going?” Joohyun asks, buckling her seatbelt.

“Somewhere nice.” Seungwan answers simply. “You’ll see.”

 

The drive isn’t too far and it is quiet as the windows are down, and the wind gently plays with Joohyun’s long brown locks of hair. Seungwan drives into a familiar street and Joohyun abruptly turns to Seungwan.

 

“This is…” Joohyun furrows her brows in slight confusion. Why would they be here?

“Yeah. The old house.” Seungwan says, pulling the car into the driveway.

 

Seungwan gets out first and heads over to Joohyun’s side and opens the door for her. Joohyun steps out— suddenly dazed from the onslaught of nostalgia and warm feelings all day today— and to add this on top of it all.

 

“What are we doing here?” Joohyun asks quietly. Seungwan only smiles and intertwines their hands together and takes the keys from Joohyun’s pocket. They approach the house and Seungwan unlocks the house— eliciting a small gasp of surprise from Joohyun.

“Did you..?” Joohyun has trouble formulating her sentences with Seungwan today.

“Yeah. I bought it.” Seungwan flicks on the lights and tugging Joohyun along into the house, standing under the big light. 

“You did?” Joohyun blinks.

“I did.” Seungwan nods.

 

“Why?” Joohyun voices out quietly.

“Because I heard it was for sale and it was too good an opportunity to pass up.” Seungwan her lips. “...and it’s our house. Always has been - if you’ll have it too.”

 

Seungwan drops Joohyun’s hand and allows the older woman to look around and explore the place. Seungwan remains by the door and leans on it comfortably. 

 

Joohyun’s body fills with mention and grows thick as there are too many words and not enough to describe what she feels about Seungwan.

 

She loves Seungwan so much.

 

“Seungwan?” Joohyun calls out softly. For some reason, there are tears running down her cheeks— painting them red as the cold wind dries her tears. They are not tears of pain and Joohyun smiles.

 

Seungwan pushes herself off of the door frame and walks towards Joohyun who had returned from her exploration.

 

“Yes?” Seungwan answers softly, reaching out to wipe away Joohyun's tears and she wants to ask why there are tears but Joohyun is smiling and suddenly, everything may be just alright.

“I know… I know what I want to say makes me selfish but please, Seungwan - wait for me a little longer.” Joohyun asks softly. “I just need more time.”

 

Bae Joohyun asking her so softly for Seungwan to wait longer for her was something not on her bucket list, and no refusal even forms at her tongue because she agrees, and agrees, and agrees— there won’t ever be a point in time where she will say no to Bae Joohyun.

 

“Okay.” Seungwan smiles softly as she palms Joohyun’s cheeks softly and the older woman leans into them instinctively. “Just… don’t keep me waiting too long.”

“I promise.” Joohyun nods into the warmth of Seungwan. “I promise.”

 

—

—

—

 

It’s days later, weeks later and even months when the divorce is finalised quietly and only a number of people know— no one from the family. They’ll just have to find out on their own at this point. That thought used to make Joohyun feel uneasy, but now it makes her want to chortle at the mere ridiculousness of it.

 

Seungwan breathes in the air of spring and the sun tickles her cheeks warm as well as her heart. She was finally done with moving into the old house. She slams the moving van close and begins to make her way back into the house.

 

Joohyun turns to the sound of struggle and finds Seungwan.

 

“I didn’t realise how little you have to the stuff that you own.” Seungwan says as she carries in a box labelled ‘books’. 

“Well, when you’re a girl in that kind of family, you get nothing.” Joohyun grins and Seungwan snorts.

 

Seungwan places the box down and Joohyun opens it and dusts off the thin layer of grime from her books.

 

“Thank you.” Joohyun says to Seungwan as the latter drapes herself over Joohyun in a back hug.

“Always.” Seungwan says warmly in the crooks of Joohyun’s neck. Seungwan peaks over Joohyun’s shoulder to see the books she’s brought with her and she sees something familiar.

“Is that from high school?” Seungwan asks as she reaches for the book and Joohyun hands it over.

“Yeah.” Joohyun answers shyly.

 

In her very own hands, there is a book from years ago— a book that was never returned to Seungwan as it was lent to Joohyun. Seungwan annotated the entire book and Joohyun had wanted to read it to see Seungwan’s thought process and all that. 

 

Joohyun looks over her shoulder and watches Seungwan flick through the old book.

 

“You’ve annotated too?” Seungwan says softly.

“I didn’t really.” Joohyun answers just as softly. “I responded to your annotations.”

 

On the inside back cover, Seungwan remembers leaving a sticky-note saying, ‘Hope you enjoy the book as much as I did, Joohyun-unnie!’

 

On the small remaining space of a sticky-note, there’s a response.

 

‘I did enjoy it, Seungwannie. I love you.’

 

Seungwan snorts and Joohyun attempts to push Seungwan away as she is slightly embarrassed at the juvenile confession she made in high school, but Seungwan doesn’t let her escape and only wraps her arms around Joohyun tighter— locking her in place.

 

“You’re a sap.” Seungwan tells her.

“Don’t tease.” Joohyun pouts.

“Okay, I won’t.” Seungwan smiles. 

 

Seungwan kisses Joohyun chastely on the forehead.

 

“You’re lovely, Joohyun-ah.” Seungwan. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“How many more times will you love me?” Joohyun asks amusedly.

“Until you know how long I’ve loved you.” Seungwan says slyly.

“I think I loved you longer.” Joohyun gestures to the book.

“I never win against you, do I?” Seungwan sighs contentedly. 

“You won against my heart. Doesn’t that count for something?” Joohyun says.

“Oh - who’s the greasy one now?” Seungwan chuckles and Joohyun rolls her eyes.

“Still you.” She says.

“Still me.” Seungwan grins before pulling Joohyun into a long lasting kiss.

 

You, you, you — it’s you.

 

Joohyun smiles into the kiss.