3 years ago

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*********

 

Momo was very nervous

 

The day of their separation as Twice had arrived and although they were no longer going to work together, that did not mean that they would stop seeing each other

 

They were friends, best friends and some of them had already decided to take a step beyond their friendship

 

Momo had many doubts, she didn't wanted to risk losing a friendship, much less one so close

 

Momo talked to Sana about her crush, she told her every detail and her best friend hugged her and congratulated her for it, motivated her to tell Mina about her feelings and take a chance on her

 

Sana told her that their friendship would not be affected in any way and Momo trusted her

 

Momo prepared a small box of chocolates and a letter with her feelings engraved on it, her smile would blind anyone who saw her, her emotion was too much, until a thought crossed her mind

 

Confessing is not the same as being accepted, you can confess and be rejected

 

Momo pondered her possibilities and took a decision

 

Three days before the official announcement of the final separation from Twice, she decided that it was worth the risk, she would make it clear that these feelings are true and that no matter the final decision, she would not regret it

 

***********

 

Momo caught Mina with her family, in a beautiful and warm family hug

 

Momo stayed away and waited so she could talk to Mina

 

"Hello Momoring, I hadn't seen you" 

 

Mina smiled at her and Momo felt butterflies burst in her stomach 

 

"Y-Yes, don't worry, I just got here" 

 

Momo looked at her feet, she was very nervous, maybe it wasn't a good idea 

 

"Do you want some juice? My family bought too much" 

 

"Oh yes, I would like some" Mina smiled and handed her a bottle 

 

Momo took a deep breath, it was now or never

 

"M-Mina, could we talk... please?" 

 

Mina raised an eyebrow, a little confused 

 

"Sure Momo, what do you need?"  

 

Momo looked around her and could see Mina's mother and father conversing, while her brother, Kai, looked at them with a raised eyebrow  

 

Momo gulped 

 

"I-I mean, if it's possible to talk in private" 

 

"Oh! Of course" 

 

Mina took her hand and Momo felt the electricity go through her body 

 

They soon reached a backstage corner and Momo felt like she was dying

 

"I think we can have enough privacy here" 

 

Mina smiled at her and Momo felt the chocolates hidden in her sweater melt

 

Momo took a deep breath and took out the box of chocolates and the letter

 

Mina looked at her confused

 

"I-I know we've been friends for a long time and I'm really thankful to have met you"

 

Momo looked at Mina's eyes, trembling, with fear, excitement and a lot of different feelings

 

"I-I've really loved every second I've been with you" 

 

Her hands began to sweat and Momo wasn't sure what to say now

 

"I'm a pretty shy person to talk about my feelings, s-so excuse me if I'm doing it wrong" 

 

Momo took a deep breath, feeling dry and the butterflies in her stomach about to burst

 

"I-I like you Mina... l-like more than a friend, I would like to have the opportunity to make you happy and to be by your side" 

 

"P-Please... accept my feelings"

 

Momo closed her eyes and bowed 90°, extending her hands holding the box of chocolates and the letter, held her breath and awaited her fate

 

Momo knew that the possibility of rejection was real, and she was obviously going to hurt, but if she could stay by Mina's side as a friend at least, it would be worth it

 

Momo waited and waited, but after a few minutes of absolute silence, she opened her eyes and straightened up 

 

"M-Mina?"  

 

Momo didn't see anyone around her, and her heart sank in her chest

 

Momo held the box of chocolates and the letter against her chest, trying to understand what was happening

 

"M-Minari?"  

 

Momo was very confused, until a thought came to her mind

 

Momo closed her eyes and bowed her head, still standing but shaking, feeling heartbroken, she pursed her lips, while she tried to hold back her tears  

 

"M-Mina?, D-Does that mean n-no?"  

 

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and even though she was no longer a child, she couldn't help but cry her heart out, as she held in her weak hands some chocolates and an undelivered letter 

 

************

 

The rest of the girls had planned a party to celebrate their last day as Twice, but Momo didn't want to know anything, she quickly said goodbye to everyone and went home

 

Momo was very sad, but above all, very confused, Mina did not accept her, but she did not reject her either, she only abandoned her when she finally had the courage to open her heart, she didn't even say "yes" or "no", she simply left her alone

 

Momo thought that maybe Mina already had someone, maybe she really was dating Chaeyoung, she wouldn't be surprised at all

 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon weren't official yet, but Momo knew there was something between them, while Sana and Dahyun were the only official couple in the group

 

Momo still didn't understand why Mina left her like this, every time the memory came to her mind, her heart tightened and the pain bled in her chest

 

She hoped that at least things wouldn't get awkward between them and that they could at least continue to be friends like before

 

Perhaps Mina did not want to reject her, and so she ran away from her 

 

Momo was so tired that she fell asleep as tears dried on her cheeks

 

*************

 

The next day Momo got up with a thousand pains, her position was not ideal for sleeping and choosing the sofa of all places, was not the best option either

 

Her phone started to ring and Momo answered quickly

 

"H-Hello?" 

 

"Momo! Where are you? I didn't see you yesterday at the party" Momo felt like crying again

 

"No, I didn't go, I'm sorry" 

 

"Don't worry, but what happened? Are you feeling bad?"  

 

"No Sana, a-actually, yesterday... I-I confessed to Mina" 

 

"God! What happened!? You kissed!?"  Momo would have preferred that 

 

"No Satang, actually, I have no idea what happened" Momo sighed, tears threatening to come again 

 

"What do you mean Momo?"  

 

"She ran away... after I confessed, she ran away... I would have preferred that she reject me instead of leaving me like that"

 

Momo felt her phone vibrate on her cheek and alerted Sana

 

"Excuse me Sana, Jihyo is calling me" 

 

"Don't worry, I'll go see you, I love you" Momo smiled 

 

"I love you too Satang" 

 

Momo hung up and answered her leader's call 

 

"Jihyo?"  

 

"Momo! What happened last night!?"  Momo straightened 

 

"I don't know... why? Something wrong?"  

 

"Mina went back to Japan" 

 

Momo almost dropped the phone 

 

"What!? Why!?"  

 

"I'd like to know the same, Mina left on a private jet and no one has any idea why" 

 

Momo felt a lump in

 

She hung up the call and booked the next flight to Japan

 

She packed a small suitcase and set off

 

**********

 

Momo was waiting at the airport, the anxiety and doubts in her head were eating her alive, a thousand questions in her head trying to find an answer

 

Her phone began to rang and she quickly answered it

 

"Hello?"  

 

"Momo! Where are you!? I've been knocking on your apartment door for 10 minutes!?"  

 

"Sorry Satang, I'm at the airport, I'm going to Japan" 

 

"What!? Why!?"  

 

"Mina is gone and I think it's my fault" Momo held back her tears and took a deep breath

 

"You don't have to blame for anything Momo" 

 

"Then why did she leave? I'm sure she has more than a thousand contracts here and she still ran away" 

 

Sana had no idea what to say either 

 

"Well, then I ask you to talk some sense into her, though I still don't know what's going on" 

 

"I'll try Sana... can I ask you to take care of Boo and Dobby? I almost forgot about them" Sana smiled 

 

"Of course Momo, I'll take care of them" 

 

"Thank you very much Sana, I'll leave you, my flight is about to leave" 

 

"Okay, call me as soon as you can" 

 

"Don't worry, I'll do it" 

 

"Have a good trip Momoring" 

 

"Thank you very much Satang" 

 

Momo hung up the call and sighed

 

**********

 

Momo arrived at her house in Japan almost at dawn, the trip was not  too long, but the wait was very tiring

 

She barely slept 3-4 hours, she couldn't sleep peacefully knowing that Mina fled from Korea right after her confession

 

Momo talked to her parents and her sister and told them about the situation, 

 

Momo's family loved her and wished her and Mina the best solution possible 

 

Momo boarded the subway and arrived at the Myoui residence, rang the bell and waited

 

"Please identify yourself" 

 

"I'm Hirai Momo, I'm looking for Mina, is she at home?"  

 

Some noises could be heard from the communicator 

 

"Miss Mina is not at home right now" Momo sighed 

 

"What time does she come back home then?"

 

"I can't tell you that information" 

 

What?  

 

"Excuse me, I think you don't understand, I just want to talk to her, we're friends and..." 

 

"I'm sorry Miss Hirai, but it's better if you go" 

 

What?  

 

"Miss Mina doesn't want to talk to you" 

 

Momo felt her heart break again and the world was closing in on her 

 

"B-But I-I just want to talk to her, p-please" 

 

Momo couldn't hold back her sobs and tears, her heart ached just knowing that Mina despises her now  

 

"For you own good, give up, Miss Hirai" 

 

The speaker was turned off and Momo fell to her knees, tears still flowing freely

 

Momo didn't know what to do, but she definitely didn't want to lose Mina, not yet

 

"M-Mina! Please just listen to me!"  Momo clutched her chest, her heart aching

 

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable! I-I promise to forget these feelings b-but don't leave me, please!"  

 

Momo screamed and begged in front of the Myoui residence for hours until she lost her voice, passers-by looked at her with pity and when it finally got dark, Momo returned home as a mess, her parents comforted her and helped her repair her heart a little, but Momo felt shattered

 

The next day Momo visited the Myoui residence again, but this time she had no voice to scream or beg, she just rang the bell and introduced herself in a low voice and once again, she was rejected

 

Momo rang the bell every often and hoped for a miracle... that the doors would open and she could enter to talk with Mina

 

The miracle never came but the night do it and Momo went home, her tiredness was noticeable and although she didn't want to give up, pessimistic thoughts took over her hope

 

Momo started to think that maybe Mina already hated her from before, that's why she ran away at her confession

 

Perhaps Mina felt disgusted because she was a woman

 

The pessimistic thoughts did not stop appearing, until a new wave of thoughts flooded her mind

 

Why to plead if she hates you? 

 

Why to insist if she doesn't care?  

 

Why humiliate yourself for someone who ignores you?

 

Momo felt a new feeling fill her body and her mind, different from pain and exhaustion... Anger

 

Why does she have to be the one to beg?  

 

Why does she have to beg for forgiveness?  

 

So insignificant are her feelings?  

 

Momo fell asleep with those thoughts stuck in her mind

 

The next day Momo decided to go back to the Myoui house, but now just to leave a message and say goodbye

 

Momo came back home and collected her things, she had work to do in Korea and she couldn't leave because of a broken heart

 

When she arrived at Korea, she made the decision to close her heart, if she couldn't trust one of her best friends, much less a stranger

 

Momo tried to continue with her life, as normal as possible

 

Sana helped her a lot, although she tried to ignore her old feelings, her best friend gave her comfort when the memories became impossible to contain 

 

Momo was able to continue with her life, even if she sometimes cried, thinking that was still her fault, but after a year, her personality changed, as well as her feelings 

 

************

 

She works as a choreographer, working in the same company that gave her the opportunity to be an artist

 

Jihyo took on an executive role at JYPE and became CEO shortly after 

 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon made their relationship official and moved in together

 

Dahyun and Sana were still together, while the surprise came from the maknaes

 

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu started dating and the internet went crazy

 

Momo found out that Mina kept in touch with the other members, except for her

 

Time helped her heal wounds, but above all, changed her

 

Momo became much more closed and cold, the other members tried to comfort and help the oldest of the Japanese, but their efforts were in vain

 

Momo took on a defensive and grumpy personality, the only person she could talk freely was Sana, but very often they had arguments and although Sana didn't like that, she thought it was better for Momo to scream and cry instead of accumulating hatred and resentment

 

Her efforts were in vain again as Momo became secretive and lost much contact with the other members, encasing herself in a shell

 

The only times where Momo could act freely was dancing

 

She loved her job but the consequences of her past haunted her... once she knew what love was, now... she wasn't sure what was it

 

*************

 

There was exactly three months left for the 15th Anniversary since the formation of their group, and although it had been 3 years since their disbandment, the company wanted to organize a special event

 

It would only be a few hours, but they wanted it to be special

 

With Jihyo at the helm, everything was easier for them, but there was still one issue that Momo didn't liked in the least

 

Momo caught Jihyo on her office days after the announcement of thier 15th anniversary celebration 

 

"She will come... right?"  

 

Jihyo sighed, she knew that sooner or later this was going to happen 

 

"Yes Momo, she will come" 

 

Momo took a deep breath, there was no point in getting angry now 

 

"Well, I just ask you not to expect me to act like nothing happened, you know me and you know I am not like that" 

 

"Momo, why don't you talk and-" 

 

Momo thrashed her boss's desk 

 

"There's nothing to talk about anymore!" 

 

Momo turned and headed for the door 

 

"You know you can fire me at any time Jihyo" 

 

Jihyo slumped back in her chair as she watched Momo walk out of her office

 

She looked up and could see the last photo they took as Twice, a tear escaped from her eyes

 

"I wish we could go back to how we were before"

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To be continued...