A/N (6.16.2022): Just because it's a fic about a birthday and I'm publishing this at midnight on 6/17 JST doesn't mean this is a Nino birthday fic; let's get that out of the way right now. Alas, I was having trouble setting up the plot, and the birthday thing was just too convenient frfr. (I’d never intentionally set out to celebrate the demon spawn’s birthday, trust. Why he is one half of my Arashi OTP is a quandary scientists are still puzzling over to this very day.) In a stunning twist of fate, I started with an angsty premise, and it turned lighthearted for once!

Title from One Phone Call by the Backstreet Boys. (The fandoms may change, but the BSB bull remains the same.) Many thanks to Andrea for beta’ing!