Light Years - Eraserheads | Yolanda Moon
 

Karina had her arms wide open, heeding the city's whispers as she welcomed the night breeze. Ang totoo n'yan, kanina pa talaga siya nakatayo sa balcony ng unit niya. Mga tatlong minuto na rin siguro siyang nakatitig sa dalawang nagsusuwagan na toro. Sa kinatatayuan niya, tanaw ang pagpasok ni Sir Andy sa Lawson para palitan ang katrabaho niya.

Napangiti si Karina sa nakita, finishing her drink in a gulp. Napatawa pa nga siya nang mapasadahan ng mga mata niya ang 5 cans sa coffee table bago tuluyang maupo sa couch. Agad niyang tiningnan ang phone niya matapos sumandal. Base sa mapait na ngiti sa kanyang labi, wala pa ring message from Winter.

"What do I even expect? She's always been a surprise."

Mas maganda sigurong gamitin 'yung word na kabute sa kanya.

Muli siyang dumungaw sa balcony and saw na mag-isa na lang si Sir Andy. Mabilis na dinampot ni Karina ang susi ng unit, at bumaba na ng building. She wore a confident smile, staring at her reflection sa pinto ng elevator.

Sir Andy welcomed her with a creased forehead, his palms are resting on the edge of the counter. "Bumili ka na raw ng energy drink kanina. 'Di na kita pagbebentahan," he declared, crossing his arms. This made Karina take his statement imperative.

Nakuha pa rin niyang ngumiti habang umiiling bago maglakad papunta sa fridge.

"Gatas?"

"Yes, sir," tango niya, "for Winter." A wide smile appeared as her tongue rolled out the name.

"Akala ko medyo okay na siya?" she was about to answer nang biglang bumukas ang pinto. Disappointment was written on her face nang lingunin niya ito. Her bottom lip took the ache, "If she comes here, pakisabi na lang po na I already bought one for her."

A hand waved at her pagkalabas ni Karina sa pinto. A few steps and a glass wall separate her from Atty. Irene. Masayang kumaway pabalik si Karina na patawid na sana nang tumunog ang phone niya. She received a message from the said woman. Irene was there for a meeting.

Let's schedule some other time?
Sama mo na rin si Winter if her sched permits.

Irene was expectantly looking at Karina nang mag-angat ito ng tingin. Magiliw na tumango ang huli, raising both thumbs up.

---

Karina busied herself sa pagbabasa sa nutrition facts at the back of Winter's milk bottle. Ito kasi 'yung palaging binibili ni Winter. Kapag out of stock, she'd rather go miles than drink something from another brand. 

Karina has always been curious about everything that involves the said woman.  

If you're playing me for a fool
I will lose my cool

Karina sang until the lift dinged open.

"Win..." napabilis tuloy ang lakad niya nang makita ang pamilyar na built ng katawan ni Winter. Karina's eyes wander. Winter was sitting on the floor, her back rests against the older's door. Her backpack sat on her lap. Her fingers fiddle with her shoelaces.

Karina took another step forward.

"Kanina ka pa?" nginitian lang siya ni Winter. Ngiting madalas masilayan kapag si Karina ang kasama niya as per Giselle and Ningning's observation. Karina has always shrugged their observation off.

Sabay silang nag-extend ng kamay. Sabay ring napatawa.

"I took the stairs. Alam mo na, pampapagod para makatulog agad."

"Anong purpose ng susi na binigay ko sa 'yo if you won't use it naman?" Karina rubbed her hand on Winter's back to check kung pinagpawisan ba ito. Hindi naman gaano. She eyed Winter, at mukhang sure naman siyang dito na matutulog ito dahil sa bag nitong dala.

"Akin ba 'yan?" the older rolled her eyes, pushing the milk to Winter's chest. If she were brutal enough, iwinasiwas na siguro niya si winter sa t'wing umiiwas ito sa mga tanong niya.

Una niyang pinapasok si Winter once she has unlocked the door. Winter made herself comfortable sa couch, twisting the cap off the glass bottle. Agad siyang sumandal sa backrest bas she drank the milk. Karina sat beside her, placing a hand on Winter's thigh, "Slow down."

Winter looked at the hand resting on her thigh. A smile blossoms on her lips. Her eyes made their way to meet Karina's.

Big Dipper north of nowhere
Outside the room, inside my mind

There is it again, the smile she showed Karina when the girl tried to express what she feels towards Winter.

Nang magdahan-dahan si Winter, Karina fished her phone out. There was a message from Giselle. "Hindi mo na naman sinabi sa kanila kung saan ka pupunta," Winter grimaced in pain when the older pinched her sa tagiliran.

Sporting a pout, she reasoned out, "Alam naman na nila 'yun. I've been visiting since you moved out of the house." Sa mga ganito niyang gawa, walang may kayang manisi kay Karina.

The older chuckled, "You should tell them still." Karina moved towards the end of the couch, patting her lap. Winter gladly smiled, resting her head on it. Her body conquers the expanse.

"Dapat kasi hindi ka na umalis," she sulked, playing with the fingers of Karina's right hand. "Tatlo kaming pumigil sa 'yo pero tumuloy ka pa rin. Si Ning nga nagtatampo pa rin."

"This place is nearer sa new work ko," Karina run her fingers through Winter's locks. Hindi naman totoo. Isang taon nang cover up ni Karina ang reason na 'yan. She moved out after her unsuccessful implicit confession. Sakto lang talaga ang timing ng company niya kaya she grabbed the chance immediately. Para sa kanya naman 'yun.

"I've handled Ning's tampo well. Ikaw lang naman ang sulky pa rin about it hanggang ngayon." Parang walang nagtake place na change sa pagitan nila. Her fingers have been familiar with Winter's strands a week after the Lawson incident. Hindi pa firm ang resolve ni Winter no'n to consult a sleep doctor. Karina did this to help her fall asleep kapag nag-aabot sila sa sala.

They act like nothing changed pero deep down, both of them know that something has. Pareho naman silang nanibago tulad noong bigla na lang sila nakararamdam ng dagitab whenever they would unexpectedly touch. Akala lang nila mahusay silang magtago.

Karina read the time on Winter's wristwatch, midnight na. Yumuko si Karina to look at Winter. A smile immediately found its place on her lips nang makita niyang nakaabang na ang mga mata ni Winter. "Hmm?" she hummed, trying to part the hair strands away from the younger's forehead.

"You don't have to sacrifice your sleep para lang samahan ako."

Karina smiles. "Remember that night?" looking at Winter dreamily. "You made sure you were with me until I felt okay," by this time, binitawan na ni Winter ang kamay niya. 

"'Di mo naman nga kailangang bumawi." Karina stared at the empty RedBull cans on her center table, smiling, bago ibalik ang atensyon kay Winter.

"Hindi lang naman ikaw ang marunong magkusa," pitik ni Karina sa noo niya. Winter's left hand immediately reached to soothe the spot.

Karina's forefinger ghosts above Winter's lips. Huli na nang marealize niya ito. She wasn't sure if Winter noticed but when Karina felt Winter's body stiffen, she traced the line that led toward her eyes. She was graceful.

Tonight, she tried again. She leaned closer, placing her lips against Winter's forehead. 

'Cause time slips and slides into another place and try
As we might to understand each other

"Matulog ka na," palusot na tap nito sa ilong ni Winter nang magdilat ng mata ang huli. Winter looked at her sharply.

Doesn't really matter where you are
It always seems so very far

Karina grinned, subtly swallowing a lump growing in . "See? Nagsusungit ka na naman."

---

Little Dipper south of somewhere
It looks much closer than it really is

Sabihin na lang natin na huli ang pagtulog sa listahan ng mga gustong gawin ni Winter noong gabing iyon. Ngayon, naglalakad siya ahead of Karina. Kaya naman siyang habulin ng huli kahit na mabilis ang lakad niya pero masaya yata talaga para kay Karina ang mang-inis ng pikuning tao kaya she just kept on maintaining the distance na pilit pinapaliit ni Winter.

Basta, nang makatayo sila, Winter promptly held Karina's hand. She led them out of the building. Hinawakan nga pero agad rin namang binitawan nang makalabas sila. Baka iyon talaga ang dahilan kung bakit pinapanatili ni Karina ang space between them ngayon. 

Winter would occasionally look up. Hindi alam ni Karina kung among tinitingnan niya, kung 'yung high rise buildings ba or signage ng establishments na nadaraanan nila. Pero kahit na gano'n, hindi siya pumalyang sundan ang lahat ng pasadahan ng tingin ni Winter.

Until the younger stopped before a food store. Karina closed the gap. "Hmm?" she hummed, trying to gain Winter's attention. Nakatingin lang kasi ito sa loob ng kainan. 

Nakangiting bumaling ito sa kanya. "I learned a magic trick today from a kid!" Kinuha niya ang parehong palad ni Karina. She lays a rose petal on her right palm. "Bahala ka na, basta huhulaan ko kung saan mapupunta," ngiti ni Winter bago tumalikod.

Napailing na lang si Karina. Hindi na niya iniba pa ang p'westo nung petal. She balled her fists,"Win, okay na ako. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

"First time mo bang im-magic 'to sa iba? Laki ng ngiti mo ha," Karina teased. There were no signs ng pagkainis sa mukha ni Winter. 

Unti-unti, dahan-dahan, lumalapit siya kay Karina.

But oh, if I only had a rocketship to fly
I'd be right there in a minute

"Wala naman d'yan pareho eh."

Karina's forehead creased. Agad niyang inilahad ang right palm niya, "Winter, what's this then?"

"Lukot na 'yan, let me get you a new one," her hand reached behind Karina. A few seconds later, a flower reveals itself in front of them. It leans towards Karina, just like how a flower bends towards the sun.

"I'm sorry. It took me time," Winter scratches the back of her ear, a shy smile is now on her lips. 

"For me? Thanks, Win," a peck on the cheek. Winter nods, following Karina. She heaves. She may not see it but what she just did nearly tear Karina's lips.

---

Balik k'wentuhan na ulit sila. Parang wala na namang nangyari. Stories would mellifluously flow from both of their mouths. Isang linggo rin naman kasi silang hindi nagkita. This is what the usual looks kapag bumibisita si Winter sa unit ni Karina o kaya naman t'wing si Karina ang dadalaw sa bahay nina Winter. 

Beer would always accompany their k'wentuhan sessions kaya nakatutulog rin agad ang dalawa pagkatapos. 

Karina loves it whenever Winter stops by, narrating k'wentos. Winter reveals a different perspective. Siguro kasi hindi lang isa ang kinakausap niya to formulate a material for their docus.

But it doesn't really matter where you are
However near is still so far

"Buti you didn't visit kahapon. I got home mga 11 na siguro."

"Company mee--" Winter couldn't finish kasi agad siyang hinila ni Karina, who frustratedly combed her hair back. Isa ito sa mga pinanggigigilan ni Karina tungkol kay Winter, madalas kasi siyang mabunggo kapag nakikipag-usap siya while walking. Winter likes to look at people kapag nagsasalita ang kausap niya.

"Company dinner. P'wedng focus ka sa paglalakad?"

Agad na umiling si Winter, "Nandyan ka naman to pull me whenever."

"How old are you again?" They both rolled their eyes at Karina's question. Despite that, they still caught the sly smirks blooming on each other's lips.

---

Karina stares up at the stoplight, waiting for the number to diminish. Both of her hands rest inside the pockets of her sweatpants for warmth. Her eyes trace down to her feet, comfortably clad in classic chucks. Hanggang sa nanotice niya rin ang sapatos na suot ni Winter. A gift she has given the younger.

One knee on the pavement, she strengthened the knot of Winter's laces. "Sabi ko naman sa 'yo diba? Ayaw ko sa public proposals," Winter teased, her voice loud, as she helped Karian up. The older rolled her eyes, looking around apologetically before hitting the younger sa braso.

Unang humakbang si Winter. Patalikod siyang naglalakad, making faces to make Karina laugh. Napako si Karina sa kinatatayuan. To her, Winter looked spent pero the joy radiating from her lips tells her na this night walk was enough to conquer the lightyear in the guise of an inch, a centimeter even.

Winter waited for her to cross, her brows knitted questioningly. "Hindi mo ako sinabayan," apak pa nito sa puting sapatos ni Karina.

When their gazes met, Karina rested her hand on Winter's shoulders to keep her in place. She removed the cap from Winter's head, only to put the brim backward. Winter's face is now free for her to stare at.

Winter's gaze stayed the same, hindi nawawala ang pagtataka.

"Anong problema mo sa cap ko?" a hand was about to reach it na agad namang pinigilan ni Karina.

"Hindi ko makita 'yung face mo." A smirk reveals Winter's mischief. Then, she bursts out laughing.

"You missed me!"

Karina voiced no denial.

Instead, she asked, "Am I ugly when I cry?"

Winter's brows meet, "No!"

Karina bit her bottom lip before letting Winter behold a radiant smile. Tears begin to stream down the older's cheeks. Albeit, Karina leans forward. Lips hover above lips until the word space becomes non-existent. 

"Wear your cap this way only when you're with me, Win. I won't be able to kiss you if you wear it the right wa--"

Karina giggled against Winter's lips habang punas-punas ni Winter ang luhang pumapatak sa pisngi niya.

Outside the room, inside my mind
I look forward to tomorrow

Sleeping Winter breathing beside her inside her room, existing also inside her mind.

The petals of the flower remain as marks between every book Karina reads.