I can almost see it that dream I'm dreaming.

But there's a voice inside my head saying "You'll never reach it."

Every step I'm takin, every move I make feels lost with no direction.

My faith is shaking

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„Ryeowook-sshi. Do you think that Yesung is weird?“

I closed my eyes after hearing the question. It hurts, deep inside, but I flashed a smile and opened my eyes again. Ryeowook hesistated to answer the question the MC asked, but after a few seconds, he answered. „I think Yesung-hyung is weird in a special way“ Ryeowook said with a smile, looking at me.

„What about you, Kyuhyun-sshi?“

„I think our Hyung is unique. I like him the way he is and I don't want him to change“ Kyuhyun said and I felt relieved. Kyuhyun was my clostest friend from Super Junior and he hated such question, always saying the positive things and making the MCs stop asking. Right now, Super Junior KRY is having an interview. The MC, it was a woman, maybe about twenty years old, smiled at me and asked me the next question.

„Yesung-sshi, how is it to be the Leader in this sub-groub?“

„I think it is okay. I mean, it isn't that hard as Leeteuks job. It is difficult to keep it all together. Sometimes, the others have different schedules and so on, but I think I am making a good job.“ I said confident and Ryeowook and Kyuhyun nodded.

The interview was over after twenty minutes and we could left the building, driving back to the dorms. „Argh, I hate such interviews.“ Kyuhyun groaned as they sat down in the van. „Me too! I don't understand why they are always asking the same? I mean, the could ask us about our songs, what they are meaning, but no! They have to talk about useless things“ Ryeowook added and I had to smile, seeing my two favorite dongsaengs talking about the interview. „But you have to get used to that“ I said and they sighed. „Hyung? Are you okay?“ Ryeowook asked and looked at me. „Yeah, why?“ „Because you shouldn't get used to this kinds of question. They are hurting you, aren't they?“ Kyuhyun said and I nodded, but smiled. „I am used to it, don't worry.“ I explained him and I could see the guilt in his eyes. „But Hyung, it isn't okay that it hurts you...“ He said but I just shook my head and focused on the nature outside. I heard Ryeowook sigh and he talked with Kyuhyun.

As we reached the dorm, we were greeted by our manager, Seunghwan. He told us that we have a performance at Friends of Korea. It was tomorrow, on the 9^th october. We all nodded and Seunghwan said goodbye. The other members already eaten expect Ryeowook, Kyuhyun and me. We sat in the kitchen and started eating. „Hyung? Are you gonna tell Leeteuk Hyung what had happen today?“ Ryeowook suddenly asked and I stopped eating. „What happen today?“ I asked confused and Ryeowook sighed. „The questions, Hyung.“ He said but I ignored it and continue eating. „Fine, then I will tell him“ Ryeowook said a bit angry and before I could do anything, he already left the kitchen and went into Leeteuks room. „This boy..“ I said and stood up. Kyuhyun looked at me as I made my way into my room, locking the door.

To be honest, the question hurted more than a knife. Even tough I am used to it, it was hard to stand such a question, but I can't have a breakdown right now, not now. Leeteuk is on the way to talk with me and if he sees me in a bad condition.. No one knows how mean Leeteuk can be.

„Jongwoon?“ Leeteuk asked as he knocked. „Can you unlock the door?“ He added and I stood up from my bed, unlocking it. I didn't look back as I made my way to my bed and let myself fall onto it. I heard footsteps and felt someone sitting next to me. It was Leeteuk, I could smell it. „Jongwoon, are you okay?“ He asked with a worried voice and I looked up. „I am fine Hyung“ I said with a thiny smile, but it didn't work on Leeteuk. „Tell me“ He said with a soft voice and I had no chance and let my mask fall. „I am sick of this, Hyung. I don't want to hear questions about me saying that I am weird. I am like I am and they just can't accept it. Hyung, sometimes I asking myself if I am not good for Super Junior“ I blured out and Leeteuk frozed at the last words.

There was a akward silence and I looked at my lap, afraid of Leeteuks word. „You are aksing yourself if you aren't good enough for Super Junior?“ He asked with a quiet voice and I nodded. „J-jongwoon. You are perfect the way you are. Have you ever imagine Super Junior without one member? This won't work. You are special to us and you will ever be a part of us and now come watching TV with us“ Leeteuk said and rufled my hair. I had to smile and followed him in the living room. Siwon immediatly told me to sit next to him, but I was pushed on Kyuhyuns lap from Donghae. Siwon looked at Donghae, but the younger just smiled while I got off Kyuhyuns lap, only to be pushed next to him. „Mine!“ Kyuhyun said as he laid an arm around my waist and I leaned against him. I heard the others chuckle but I focused on the film.

A/N: So, as you can see, the story is completly different as 'When everything is fine'...

*Song used in this chapter: Miley Cyrus – The Climb