There was nothing I wanted more then to please my father. If my mom no longer wanted me, I wanted him to want me. No I needed him to.

 

So I would study until I got nosebleeds, even though I preferred reading fantasy novels.

I would eat salads and protein bars even when I wanted cake and chicken wings.

I would sit and listen to what he had to say and what he wanted me to do.

 

I didn’t have any energy or will to make friends at school. And no one really approached me either. Except there was one kid I thought was funny. He had a rather cute face, and he wasn’t as concerned with his clothes or money as the other kids were. He didn’t really interact with the other kids. I wouldn’t do it on purpose but I always saw how he’d glare at me adorably when our grades were posted.

 

One day, on my way to lunch, I heard a group of girls talking. They had created a lifestyle for me, that I was dangerous and from a crime family. I just let it go, rather them think I was always fighting then to find out the truth regarding my cuts and bruises. And it wasn't like I really cared, the less they were involved with me the better. 

 

I walked past them and ended up sitting alone,  as usual,  behind Yut and some other guys from our class.  Interesting,  I thought he'd be more of a loner...

 

"I don't think he's a thug at all. Those rumors are probably false." I unconsciously looked behind me which cause them to know I was listening. I turned back quickly thought,  cause it felt really awkward. Yut was the last person I'd think to take my defense.  Infact I thought he hated me since he glared at me so much. Was I wrong then?

 

When I got home I was welcomed by my father's girlfriend. I ignored her completely not realizing my father was right behind me,  coming from the kitchen.  He moved to slap me across the cheek and I stood there as usual. Avoiding it would have just made it worse,  and I had a test tomorrow. I knew how my father hated when I acted this way towards his girlfriend but I couldn't help it.  She wasn't normal at all,  watching my father beat me up and still being together with him. What a gold digger.

 

"Oh goodness!" I glared at her and she unconsciously took a step back,  scared  I looked at my father.  

" I have school tomorrow..." I reminded him so he wouldn’t hurt me too much. He kicked me on the floor.

"How rude are you? Asking me, your father,  something with that tone." I just protected my face as he yelled and kicked me some more. After he saw that I wasn't reacting he let me off with an angry grunt.  His girlfriend went to comfort him but I was helped up by a maid. I pulled my hand away and went to my room.

 

My stomach was already turning blue from the bruising and I groaned while I put some ointment on and a new bandage over my abdomen. It seemed like anytime my bruising healed my father just hit me again in the same places right after. I had resigned myself to reality a long time ago, but even so it felt really bitter to see how frosty my expression was in the mirror. 

 

"What kind of kid doesn't cry when hurt?" The teacher asked the head maid who had come to the school meeting in lieu of my busy father. Her response was that I was always a strong kid. Like she was proud.  But we both knew why I never cried at school.  By that time I was already experiencing worse. 

 

"You just have to make your father proud of you."  It was something I heard after every beating. I was already first in class, I took all the lessons he put me in,  I never complained or asked questions.  But I still needed to make him proud? I didn't understand. So first year passed,  second year,  third year,  and it was always 'You have to make your father proud'... By Fifth year I realized how foolish it was to try and appease my father. He just didn't like me as a person,  so there was no way to make him proud.  Pride would never come from hate. 

 

One day after a particular harsh beating, I woke up the next day and got ready for school but in the driveway was a new car. The maid cheerfully came to me and handed me the keys to it. 

"Young Master! You father wanted to give you a present for your outstanding grades!" I tried not to frown. I was only 17 now, I’d have to wait a year before I’d be able to legally drive even though I was licensed. I declined the keys and asked her to put them in my room. My ribs were hurting so bad right now I could hardly focus- instead I asked her to call the driver, who drove me to school instead.

 

Once I made sure that my driver had left I went to the clinic near the school. With a fake name I let a young doctor examine my ribs. Whenever I felt like my injuries were too much for me to take care of by myself I would go to the clinic near the school with a fake name. And every time I would ask for a new doctor so that nobody would get suspicious however a year ago I got introduced to this handsome young Doctor Who took care of me and listen to me really well. So from then on he was the one who was in charge of any check ups I did, I even felt secure enough to tell him my real name.

“This looks really bad Worth… You come here so beat up every time I see you, is there something going on that I should know about?”

 

“It’s- Ah!” He pocked my ribs.

“Sorry… but if you’re going to tell me the same story you did the last 12 times I saw you then I really don’t wanna hear it, at some point you’re going to have to tell me Worth…” I stayed quiet as he tried to get me to open up but I couldn’t. I wasn’t because I wanted to protect my father, and it wasn’t because I respected my father- my respect for my father had gone out of the window a long time ago. It was because I was afraid of what happened next, I was afraid that my father being one of the most popular people would only make things worse for me. And I was so close to graduating and going into university, living on my own, that I couldn’t risk the truth being found out.

 

I might school tried to call my father to tell them that I was missing that day however I had already changed the school records so that they would call my phone number. I left a message explaining that I was unable to talk at the moment but that ‘I’ had taken ‘Worth’ out for the day. The next weeks went by pretty well, my father only hit me a few times because he was so busy doting on his Golddigger girlfriend. One of the few times that I was grateful for her. Thankfully I was also able to focus and finish my exams without any major incidents happening because they were both too into their own world to even notice me.

 

 

When I got there I saw that the most recent exam scores had been posted. I couldn't bother to care and I went inside the class room.

"Aw man! Worth is first again!" I stopped myself from sighing cause it would hurt, I guess I had to go to the doctors today again. I walked over to my desk and Yut was leaning on it. I tapped him and I guess I scared him because he pushed me causing a loose tile on the floor to cut my hand open. When Yut saw what happened he gasped and helped me up while apologizing profusely. 

 

Before I could even say anything, I let him drag me to the nurses office to bandage it.

 

It's okay you don't have to bandage my-"

"What are you talking about?! Yut started to tear up and I froze in shock. He was crying... because I was hurt???

"I'm sorry…"

“Why are you apologizing to me? Im the one who pushed you and made you get cut.”

“I didn’t expect you to… You have a nice voice… you know usually you don’t talk to others.”

"... So do you, I thought you didn't care about anyone." He looked really confused too see me smiling and stopped crying a bit. Just sniffles. 

"Really. I guess we're alike after all" He started blushing which cause me to let out a small chuckle. This boy was rather interesting like I thought.

 

After this incident we started to eat together and even talk in school a lot more. Ofccourse this made the other guys that used to be nice to Yut a little weary but he didn't care. He still talked to me as if I was just another friend. I liked him a lot more then I realized. He was very sweet and nice and even though he was a loner I saw why the others kept talking to him ever so often. He looked cold but was actually very nice. I was  just happy to finally have a friend.

 

The day before the Graduation ceremony I was talking to Yut and told him that my dad wouldn't attend the event. And he told me that his aunt wasn't coming either.

"She has to go to the twins graduation. " He rolled his eyes and I smiled. He told me a few times about his living situation but it seemed like he didn't like it very much. I didn't tell him much about my life outside of school because it wasn't important.  But it would probably worry him too.

 

The day we graduated we took a class picture where Yut tickled me and cause me to give a grin. Which made the girls squeal in excitement. I frowned and Yut stuck his tongue out at me when no one was looking. Thankfully we decided to leave shortly after the ceremonies and I dropped him off with my car.

"Lets celebrate this weekend...Come to my house." He sat there shocked.

""I've never… invited someone to my house."

"Someone?"

"A friend...Well my second best friend. "

I didn't elaborate and he hopped out to go inside.  That night I made sure the chef stocked the food with snacks and food for the next week. I admittedly was very excited to have a friend over but I hope that my father would stay absent during it.

 

My father was a very cold, calculated person in my eyes. If I didn't have a good reason in his eyes the answer was always no.  I wanted to quit piano when I was younger and keep taking Guitar. When I told my dad,  after a few slaps,  he just made me take piano with a stricter teacher. Claiming that the old piano teacher was too soft which was why I wanted to quit.  In third year I asked my dad to let me see my mom for my birthday and he hit me so much I couldn't attend my own birthday party.  So I knew that he would not like or appreciate if I asked for anyone to stay over by the house, so I had to make sure that there was no way he would interfere with my plans.

 

"How long will my father be away."

"Him and the lady made plans to go out on a yatch trip all of next week." The butler informed me. I sighed in relief.

"Young Master..Master... is someone coming?"

"Yes. A friend." The butler coughed in surprise.

"I'll be sure to prepare adequate food then."

"Thank you." I want into my room and grabbed my car keys. I headed out to Yuts house, when I got there there guards let me in.

When the maid brought me into the living room Yut and a woman,  who I assumed was his aunt were on the floor picking up what seemed to be glass. I was going to help when I met the woman's eyes. And it was like lightning,  how shocked I was. 

 

Without even waiting for Yut or really anyone,  I turned around to leave.  The air felt sniffling all of a sudden like I wanted to throw up but couldn't. 

 

“I’ll be out for a few days. “ Yut ran after me shortly after, jumping into the car before i could lock the doors.  My fingers were gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were white.

“If… if you’re okay. Please tell me.” I could hear his concerns and managed to tell him

“I will but…” A few minutes passed before I finished my sentence. “Let’s go to my house…” 

 

The more we drove it seemed like the more silent it got inside of the car.  I was really trying not to speed too much... I got out the car,  went to Yut and took his bags and we were met inside by my father and his girlfriend.  ing great.

 

“Hello father.”

“Hello son, hello to my sons friend as well.” My father knew I wouldn't say hi to his girlfriend but i didn't let Yut say hello to her either,  instead I grabbed his hand to go to his room.

“Stop right there.”

“Uh… Worth?” I was shaking at this point and I didn't want my father to know what had happened. 

“I’m sorry Worths father, he ate something bad from a street stall and he isn’t feeling too well, hello ma’am- I apologize.”  Yut took my hand and gradded me away even though i was unable to move because of my father's command.  He led me into a guest room,  probably thinking it was mines. I sighed deeply to relax my nerves and pulled away from him.

“…Worth?” I took his free hand, pushed it against the door and pinned him to the door.

“How is that woman is your aunt?” I could see the confusion written on his face but I couldn't approach this without being direct.

“My… My fathers younger sister…”

“But I’ve never met you?”

“Me? Why would you meet me?” Oh the irony of it all. I let him go, a bitter laugh escaping my lips at that moment. He sat me down on the bed and it got quiet again.  Finally I spoke. 

 

“It’s funny really, this is the first time I manage to like someone and they turn out to be my cousin.”  I fell back onto the bed and covered my eyes with my arm,  the other arm was grabbing the sheets near Yut. He didn't ask any questions,  although I'm sure he wanted to,  it must have been very confusing as well.  I didn't want to show him that I wanted to cry but he just laid besides me,  holding my hand.

 

For just a moment I wanted to forget about everything.  Just exist in this room with Yut.

 

After a bit Yut fell asleep and I went out of the room where I met my father's girlfriend. She smiled at me and grabbed my hand.

"You and that boy should come with your father and I on Monday to the Yatch. For some family bonding time."

"I'd rather eat my own hand. " I pulled away and was about to leave when my father met me on the stairs and grunted in dissatisfaction.  I got so angry,  why was everyone I hated beating me down so much today? Couldn't I have one day? One day?!

"I saw my mother today..." I told my father when he passed me to go up the stairs. 

"You saw that demonic woman? Where?" 

"It doesn't matter since she didn't even care." He laughed. 

"Of course she doesn't care, she left you with me- So? What's the problem?"

"The problem? The problem is that you told me that she was in England all these years,  that I'd never see her! But she was-"

"I don't care, what's with your tone?" I grabbed his arm and stopped him from ascending further.

"I wish you hadn't taken me in at all!" He pushed me off his arm and next thing I knew I was on the floor to the bottom of the stairs. 

 

“Worth!” I heard Yut yell my name but I was holding him arm because it hurt so much. My father stood there watching as the maids and Yut helped me up and we went to the hospital.

“How did this happen?” The doctor let me Yut sit and watch. 

"It was an accident- I fell trying to go up the stairs."

“…Mr Sithong… I cant help you unless you ask. Tell me the truth here…”

“I saw-“ Worth grabbed my arm with his other hand. Tightly.

“The truth is that I fell down the staircase in my house because I couldn’t see them… I was thinking about something else and lost balance towards the top." 

I kept quiet as the doctor wrapped his arm, even when the nurse gave him pain medicine. It wasn’t until we got home that Yut yelled at me.

 

”Why didn’t you tell them?!” I told him the truth,  almost feeling like I sobered up.

“It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, I’ll be fine-“ he stopped when he saw my face. 

“All the time you came to school hurt… Was because of your dads abuse?” He winced and hugged me close.

 

“It’s okay… I’m okay…” I couldn't cry like i thought and I ended up falling asleep in Yuts arms.  Feeling a carnal urge I quietly went to my bathroom. I was busy cutting myself when i heard someone gasp aloud. I looked to see Yut so I scrambled to pull up my pants. I begging him not to say anything.  Yut threw the blade into the sink and turned to hug me. 

 

"What... Worth..." I was embarrassed that Yut had seen me but I was also scared of what happens next. What if he left me? What if he told my dad... Yut pulled me back and glared at me.

"I'm going to follow you everywhere this week so you dont do this again!" He was crying too and I just nodded.  Still confused.

 

He did keep his promise to follow me wherever I went. Even to the public restroom once and I had to kick him out to make sure no one assumed we were going in there to do stuff. After the week was up Yut was really hesitant to go but I told him that it was okay. He wasn't looking forward to it but... his aunt had planned a getaway for her childrens birthdays. So I had promised to FaceTime him every day before I went to sleep instead of keeping him here. 

 

I almost pushed him out of my car and waved goodbye to him happily. The moment he was gone I got this sudden urge to jump out the car and call him back. 

'He wouldn't have been able to understand anyway' a voice told me.  I d the wheel as I drove home carefully. The voice all there.  It had been gnawing at me. For the first week of video calls in between Yut and I. I met Athid’s family.  They were really close to my dad and connected to the business but Athid had gone to school in England when we were 7. 

 

She gave me a big hug when we met at the restaurant. Her mom fawned over us. Calling us cute, and childhood sweethearts but I didn’t really see it that way. In my eyes Athid was just another woman in my life that didn’t care. Before she left she had seen the abuse I had endured. She saw my cuts and bruises and never said anything. I couldn’t blame her- we were simply too young to understand… But it would be a lie for me to say that I didn’t resent her a little. Maybe now…

One day after we talked to Yut I told her the truth behind my broken arm. She smiled at and said she was sorry but that “ it was probably an accident. Your father wouldn’t push you on purpose Worth…” I could tell she wasn’t even sure what she was saying. 

 

I smiled at her coldly.

“Your absolutely right. Not on purpose.” She hugged my arm to go back to our parents but I pulled my arm away. I went in front the table and excused myself with work. My father laughed calling me a workaholic.

“Goodness, your worse then me. Just for today, sightsee Athid just came back, take her to the mall. Athid had her hand wrapped around my arm as she dragged me into more and more stores. When my hands were full, and I was tired of people fawning over us I went and walked out the jewelry shop we were in. I didn't care that I heard embarrassed Athid either, I just wanted to go home and sleep.

 

I was tired of everyone using me as stores kinds of prop, I had barely eaten at dinner and Athid hadn't even cared. Not wanting to get a snack while we stopped because it would "ruin her diet". After we got into my car she started to yell at me for letting her and embarrassing her just now but I ignored her. I got a text just then.

"Invite Athid for dinner at the house."

"Would you like to eat dinner at my house, my-"

" It's this your way of apologizing?" I fought the urged to roll my eyes. She hugged my arm for the rest of the car ride. When we got home my father want there as yet and I took her into the guest room with her bags.

" Do you need sleeping clothes? I can get someone to get you some now."

 

"Can I borrow your shirt instead?" I raised my eyebrow and went to my room to get her a shirt. I looked at the shirt I had lent Yut and gave it to her. Laughing when she came out because I remembered that my shirt looked just as big on Yut.

" Does it look funny?" I shook my head.

" No, I was remembering something." She pouted. I ignored her, obviously.

 

We had dinner with my father and it was honestly the worst.  He was a little tipsy for whatever reason and was talking too much. 

"Athid Worth is a lucky man to be paired with you, or else no one would have wanted damaged goods."

"Damaged goods?" He apologized. 

"No offense to you my dear,  but you know he had no mother and he has no friends."

"Ah but I don't mind that he had no friends." The fact that she was engaging in the ridiculous conversation was an indicator of how little cared about me outside of my father's image. 

 

I are ate quietly but after dinner my father took me onto the study said something that really just broke me.

"Your going to marry who I say and be under my thumb forever so instead of moping around at dinners you should work on getting Athid." I ignored him and he threw his book end at me, cutting my shoulder. 

"Don't ignore me you ungrateful brat and try and be useful."  I felt so resentful I decided to speak out just this once.

 

" I don't understand how you're so horrible to me only,  why not show Athid how much of a monster you are?!" He grabbed me a I tried to push him off but he trapped me under him and began to choke me.

"I really regret taking such good care of you,  you ungrateful brat." I got him off me by grabbing the book end that had been thrown at me previously. I ended up hitting his head and he fell unconscious,  scared, I ran out the house. 

 

"D- Did I kill... him..." I drove to the nearby beach and cried bitterly. Praying that I had not killed him. I walked into the water and I looked back to the shore,  there I saw Athid standing. Starting at me. I must have been hallucinating, because I was ready to die... I left myself go deeper and deeper into the water,  hoping to get caught up in the waves and die quickly.  As I waited to lose consciousness I saw a flurry of bubbles,  a young man had jumped in.  I wanted to fight him off but I lost consciousness soon after he reached me. 

 

"Ugh?!" A burning sensation ripped through my lungs and I spit out the salty sea water. 

"Oh thank God!" He hugged me and patted my back some more. He pulled me away and shook me  little.

"Your life is not something you can throw away like that! Whatever your going through will get better!"  I looked into his eyes and it was like I was entranced.

"Did you perform CPR on me?"

His cheeks were flushed. 

"Ofcourse! You were drowning!" I coughed up some more sea water. 

 

" I don't think all the water came out, I called my cousin whos a doctor." I had no energy to move. And I didn't want to move...I was embarrassed. Why did nothing work out as I want it to? When these person he has called came I had already fainted again. The next morning I woke up in a hospital bed, I realized that it was the clinic I often went too from the sickly green colored sheets and the old hanging TV on thewall. 

 

Your awake... How do you feel..." I took a moment to response. Was I mad about it? Or was it just a disappointing feeling.

"... I'm okay."

" Of course you would say that, you always say that. this time I need more from you- because this times you almost died." He scolded me. I sighed.

" You want the'truth? When if it isn't what you want to hear?"

" No your wrong, it isn't something I don't want to hear, father is something you don't want me to. I've known you for all these years and you always avoid confronting you're feelings liked this." I don't respond because he was right. I hated letting anyone in. Even Yut.

 

"Who saved me?" I just remembered his sweet voice and his strong arms.

"My brother in law happened to be there, and saved you.

"I have to thank him..."

" Somehow I doubt you feel grateful right now. I played with my lower lip, remembering that he had performed CPR on me. I couldn’t remember his face… but I'm sure I would be able to recognize that voice anywhere.

" He's going off to the University near by, same as you." I nodded and left that conversation there. If he was at my school I would have plenty off time to see him. The second day that I was in the hospital, one of my father's guards came asked informed me that my father was aware that I was in the hospital. My heart dropped too the put of my stomach.

" Does he know what for?"

" You walked almost drowned at the beach." Drowned? So he didn't know I jumped in the water myself?" The guards gave me some clothes and three doctor came in.

" I kind of figured that you didn't want you're father to know so I said you jumped in to save someone." I sighed in relief. He informed that I'd have to spend another two days under his watch just to be sure.

 

The third day I was there, Yut had come bursting through the the hospital door in a panic. He immediately came over to hug me. 

 

“Let’s live together for University. I won’t accept a no” I hugged him back after a while… combing my fingers through his hair.