**For the ones that don’t know, Elkie’s real name is Chong Tingyan, so I’ll be using both names during the story**

Yujin Pov:

December 15th, 2020

“That’s it, guys, I can’t take it anymore” Elkie entered the practice room that the rest of us were sitting while waiting for her requested meeting to end

“So, what did you guys decide? Are you really  gonna leave the company?“ Said a real nerve wrecked leader Jang Seungyeon

Truth be told we were all feeling just like her, including Tingyan. Losing a member is always difficult but we aren’t just a regular group, we are family, so lose a sister, even more to something that could be prevented if we had a company that actually cared for us, like contract problems and the non-distribution of separate work budgets and salaries.

Elkie came to us and sited right beside me looking down, the always bright still elegant Tingy wasn’t there instead there was a pretty hurt nervous Tingyan, that clearly wanted things to be different, still looking down she took a deep breath and finally dared to look in our eyes, her home away from home and family for the past almost 5 years.

“I want you all to know that the decision I’m about to make was very thought out and I’m only taking it if you guys let me, “ She said looking serious to the six of us. While we all were expecting and already expecting what she was going to say.

“Cube didn’t approve my desire of staying in the group after leaving the company.” The silence was so much that was starting to get loud. We all knew where this conversation would take us, but still, none of us wanted to believe what was yet to come. “That’s why for me to get my contract terminated and leave the company…I would have to leave the group” We were all in shock. Eunbin was already crying since Ting’s second sentence but I was too frozen to even notice. I’m losing my sister. I’m losing her because we weren’t good enough. They always told us this, the company. But we always refused to believe. It’s my fault. I’m older than her, It was my responsibility to take care of her. That’s why we are losing her. Because I couldn’t do my job right.

“Please, Binnie, don’t cry.” Ting was already rushing to hug Eunbin and clean some of Seunghee and Yeeun’s tears that were already falling. “Guys, my decision is still not made. I’m only taking it without you guy's permission” She said looking at all of us with Eunbin and Yeeun in her arms, unsuccessfully trying to look strong but if you really know her, you’d know that she is fighting hard not to cry.

“But we all know that it’s already made right, Ting?” I said already getting up and trying not so hard to keep myself calm and to not stress out so much with something that was my fault. “It’s okay, really, just do what's best for you. I have to go now”

“Hey, Jinnie. Wait!” Tingyan said rushing to the door, where I was already with my hand o the knob “Are you thinking that I would make this decision without you guys? Can’t we talk for now?”

“I can’t do this, Tingyan. I can’t see us breaking apart when it’s mostly my fault. I can’t” The tears were so strong that my vision was blurred. I left the room the fastest that I could, considering my situation, and could only feel myself bumping into someone. The impact and probable difference in weight between me and the person was so big that I was already going in the ground’s direction when the person – that I realized to be a man – hold me by the arm and pulled me.

“Hey, you should be more caref-…Yujin? Why are you crying? What happened?” It was him! My ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend if that even exist, Lee Minhyuk. Destiny really likes to play with me, huh?

By this time, 2 years after our breakup, we were strangers to each other. We didn’t go to the places that the other one was when in the company we didn’t even talk to each other – unless people were watching, then I would bow to him as a good hoobae would do -, I knew that he still visited my parents that were practically his parents too, but still we tried the most to not meet each other nor interact. But still, there he was, with those big round concerned eyes looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered in the world and not caring that we were making a scene in the middle of the company’s hallway.

“O-Ah, It’s nothing, sunbaenim, thanks for the concerning” I stuttered a bit and was so flustered and still so pissed off and shaken by the whole Elkie situation, that I just wanna get out of there.

“Yujin, you are shaking, what’s happening, I can help!” He said trying to be incisive

“I’m serious, Minhyuk, leave me alone I’m not in the mood for this. Can you let go of my arm?” I tried to be as quiet as possible but the anger and anxiety were already coming to me

He stared at me, studying my face for at least 40 seconds, that’s when looked to the sides and noticed that some staff were starting to look at us, he then murmured “come with and act normal” I wanted to say no but still did as he said and he walked us through the whole hallway like we were talking and then led us to an empty practice room, that I noticed to be Idle’s one. When we were already inside and safe from other people’s eyes, he noticed that his grip was still strong in my arm and released me but still insisted on talking but this time he knew exactly what to say to get to me. “C’mon, Yujin-ah, let me, help you. Can we forget about the past for at least 10 minutes and remember that we were once friends?”

His eyes were undescriptive. I could feel that he wanted to help and even with all the anger that I had with me right now and that I didn’t know where it came from, I still knew that wouldn’t be from any good to keep it inside of me. I should put them out in the form of words. And to be true, I can't think straight when he calls me ‘Yujin-ah’.

“Okay,” I said finally giving up and sitting on the practice room’s floor indicating that for him to sit in front of me, with a little distance obviously. After a deep breath, I started. “The company said that we are probably going to be dismissed. That we don’t give them the income that other groups give and that we are gonna be dismissed. To sum that up Elkie is leaving the company because of contract problems and they didn’t let her leave the company and stay with the group. She is saying that she hadn’t made a choice yet, but I know that she had and I can’t stop thinking that all of this that is happening is my fault because I couldn’t help Seungyeonnie and Seunghee Unnie with taking care of the group and the girls and because I’m not good enough to be here”

I just spoke so fast and so desperately that I noticed I forgot to breathe. After my big unburden statement I looked up crying and were shoved into the warmest hug I had ever received in my entire life. We just stayed there. For 5, 10, 15 minutes…I just lost the track of time, only my crying, sobbing and the air conditioner system could be heard inside the room. He let me cry for the time I needed and in the meantime kept caressing my back and blowing little kisses in my hair and cheek, and after what felt like a second passed and I was starting to compose myself, without breaking the hug, he came, put his lips right next to my ear, and said:

“It’s not your fault, baby. You can’t fix everybody's problems and can’t do more than what you already do for everyone, not only your members. You are the girl that remembered the company’s janitor’s birthday and threw him a party. You are the girl that gave your coat to Yeeun in an outside schedule during winter because she forgot hers. And you are the girl that comes to the company to practice at noon to go home at 6:30 am because you wanted to perfect the dance routine for your group and give tips to the choreographer. You deserve to be in the group. And none of this is your fault.” He then left the embrace and kept looking at me with a reassuring smile that he could give.

I was astonished. His word hit like a train and I was so immersed in his always so emotional eyes that almost didn’t listen to what he was saying next.

“To be true, it’s more like a Cube’s fault, right?’ He said with his playful smile.

“Yes haha,” I replied. He already changed my mood. Those emotions that I was feeling left minutes ago.

He was talking like he didn’t talk in more than 2 years. What did it have in that military water? He was bold and did not care about our past. Looked up and noticed that he was still talking

“I know that you have some trouble in accepting that you are talented. Not only talented, TALENTED AS . But you are, Yujin-ah. You’re not only talented but hardworking and kind. You should stop putting the weight of the world on your shoulders. And I wish you could see yourself as I see you. Because in my eyes, you are the most amazing being alive.”

I could only stare at him. His hair was already grown since he was discharged 3 months ago, but the hairstyle itself hasn’t changed much. He was definitely stronger, I could feel by the hug and be wearing a white long-sleeved shirt that made his muscles look popped. Gosh, he looked amazing. And his lips were exactly the same but much pinker than usual, probably because he was pressing them before. I wonder if it tastes the same. WHAT? Choi Yujin you have to control yourself, it’s not time to have fantasies about your ex that is just her because he wants to help you and it’s right in front of you. OH MY GO, HE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

“Jinnie? Did you listen to me?” He said with his cute eye-smile and with his usual kid smile

“What? Yes, yes, of course, I did”

He laughed and looked right into my eyes. Expression changing instantly

“Can I be honest to you, Jinnie?” He said scratching his neck and looking down

“Of course, sunbaenim,” I said, still finding it difficult calling him in another way after 2 years

“First, please stop calling me like that. You didn’t like to call me sunbaenim even when we were younger. Call me as you did in the old times” I couldn’t explain but he was sounding ier with every word he said. WHAT THE HELL, STOP FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR EX, CHOI YUJIN, ARE YOU CR-

“Yes, Oppa. Please continue” I said it smiling trying to put my thoughts about how Minhyukkie looked so so handsome aside.

“Second, I really miss you. And I really appreciated that letter you sent to me when I was passing through a hard time while in the military. It helped me so much…”

Yes. I know it goes completely away from the ‘I am never talking to him again’ agenda, Seungyeon calling me dumb when I was writing the letter already made that pretty clear to me but last year Ilhoonie told me that Minhyuk was having a hard time during military and was getting sad that wasn’t doing what he loves that is dancing, singing, producing, acting so I sent him a letter telling him to be strong and that even with our different I was still his friends. Never got a response, but it seems to have had an impact.

“Since you didn’t respond to the letter I thought you had thrown it away. I’m happy that helped, really. And…I miss you too.” We froze looking into one another. He was looking into my eyes, but suddenly his eyes got down and looked to my lips. I knew where this was taking us and I couldn’t risk falling for him again.

“Ahem ahem,” I cleared my throat when I noticed that this was getting too serious. “Thank you so much for helping me, Minhyuk Oppa, but I think I should go see the girls and talk to them. They are also passing through a hard time and I have to apologize for my sudden reaction and talk to them. Thanks one more time. And I’m glad we are friends again!” I said sincerely but already getting up.

“Oh, yes yes, you should go talk to them, of course. And I’m also glad we are friends again. My number is the same, If you need someone to talk to…I’m always available for you” He said with a flirt smile and kind eyes

“Hahaha Okay, Oppa. Thank you so much and I’m always here too. I’ll be going first then…”

I straighten myself up and was already walking to the door when I heard him calling me.

“Yujin-ah, wait” He looked at me and walked determinedly towards me, and I could just look at him already imagining what he was going to do, and to be true, I kinda wanted him to do it. He stopped a couple of millimeters away from me and cupped my face with both hands.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for 2 years already and I don’t think I can’t wait anymore. Can I kiss you?” He said that so close to my lips that I could feel his minty breath from all the mint candy that he eats daily and I remembered the old times. I wanted to feel his lips so badly that I automatically nodded. sanity

Right after my green light, Minhyuk shattered his lips on my mine. At the same time, I asked for entry with my tongue, which he gladly gave. The kiss was so desperate that I could already feel my lips in pain but I just couldn’t care less, I just wanted to be closer to him and make every time counts. His grip was so strong on my waist that I was certain of the huge 10 fingers mark that would be there later. After a couple of minutes, he went to my neck and started and letting wet kisses on my soft spots that he clearly haven’t forgotten where was.

“Minhyukkie, I think we should stop. Somebody can come in.” I said with closed eyes not wanting that to end while sitting on the practice room sofa.

“Uhum” he murmured getting on his knees to have better access to my neck but still kissing my neck and caressing my thighs.

“Oppa, really,” I said getting back on my senses and pushing him softly.

He looked at me and then I noticed our states. His hair was messy, lips strongly red and popped, shirt up to his chest and lower back filled with scratches and marks that I didn’t even know I did. I probably wasn’t much different than that, plus with an almost sure marked neck.

“Gosh, Jinnie, you look like you just had wild , and God, you look hot,” He said with amused eyes and fixed my hoodie and hair. “Just one more kiss and I’ll let you go”

The kiss this time wasn’t rushed and desperate like the first one. It was a kiss filled with apologies for how we let things be and for how everything ended and full of that longing feeling. It just felt right, felt like home. This time his hands were soft on my back and our tongues were playing and hugging on a sync that throughout my whole life I could only find with him.

“Excuse me, can we use this r-OH MY GOOOD. SORRY, UNNIE, I’LLCOMEBACKLATER” As soon as the door opened, we turned in that direction with the biggest shocked faces in the world. As fast as Miyeon and Yuqi entered the room, they left. Is not like they didn’t know me and Minhyuk dated nor it was the first time that they saw us kissing since during cube artists parties, everybody would chill and the couples would relax since we were among family, but the fact that me and Minhyuk were in a room, alone, making out after a long time after I had sworn to God that I wouldn’t come back nor have any kind of relationship with him is at least weird.

“, we were spotted,” I said clearly starting to freak out.

“Hey, chill, thank God it was Miyeon and Yuqi. They will pick on you at most” He started caressing my hair and placed a lock of hair behind my ear”

We just enjoyed the silent moment while we recomposed ourselves.

“SO…..should we talk about what just happened? Are we fine?”

“I’m fine if you’re fine. Are you fine?” He was with a mid simple while waiting for my response

“I’m fine,” I said eye-smiling him

“Then, fine” He laughed “Let’s go. I’ll accompany you to clc practice room”

“Okay, but let me see if there is someone outside. Another thing, come here, let me fix your hair” I started doing my favorite thing back on our times dating fixing his hair and his bangs while he looked at me and smiled

“Like old times, huh?” He said and I felt almost nostalgic

“Yes, like old times. Let’s go”

We got out of the room and there wasn’t anyone in the hallway. I looked at my cellphone and I a message from Seungyeon popped up.

Seungyeonnie: If you are still at the building come to the practice room to have lunch. We ordered your favorite, chicken feet :0 don’t be angry, jinaaa! Come fast ^^

You: CHICKEN FEET? I’M ON MY WAY! Love you, monkey!

Lunch? Already? I looked at the clock and was already 12:40, based on the fact that I got out of CLC’s little reunion at 10:15, I and Minhyuk were in that room for more than 2 hours? WOW, time really flies when he is near.

After we passed next to some of the staffs that were going to have lunch and entered another hallway, which was empty this time, and that led us to CLC's practice room, he took my hand and interlocked our fingers. Okay, this is going too fast. We kept walking until we stopped in front of the room where I knew my members were having lunch and waiting for me.

“So this is it…” He said looking at our hands together “Hope we can still keep it friendly…even more than friendly if you want” His suggestive smile made me laugh

“Let’s keep friendly, okay, Oppa?” I don’t wanna ruin our friendship again. I’m doing this a lot lately” I said looking down at our interlocked fingers. They fit so well

“For me, it’s okay, not what I want, but still really good hahaha,” He said laughing lightly

“So…I’ll get going. Thank you so much for everything, Oppa” I was looking at him trying to sound the most sincere I could.

“One last kiss before you go…?” He asked me with a smirk

I got close to him and his hands moved automatically to hold my waist. My hands went to his nape and he closed the distance between us. I asked entrance with my tongue and his hands started to bury more and more into my waist and back. Our tongues kept embracing and we ended up the kiss with some pecks and a hug. The kiss didn’t take more than a minute but was really meaningful and filled with intimacy.

“I’ll call you, Tokki. Missed you” He said already leaving

I just gave him a little laugh and entered the practice room, where I could find 6 open-mouthed girls looking in my direction with chopsticks in their hands. OMG, Did we talk loud?

“Okay, do you care to explain what the just happened,” Said a really euphoric Sorn already running to me

“What have you guys seen?” I asked. My eyes already popping out

“The whole lovey-dovey scene, I think you guys sometimes forget that it has a window in this door and the walls are really thin” Seungyeon was already teasing me with her usual smirk

“NOW SAY IT, JINNIE” Seunghee was shouting at me and laughing at SeungYeon's failed try of bickering me

“Okay, Okay but, monkey, I’m getting you later” She rolled her eyes laughing “Me and Minhyuk Oppa hooked up a little after he saw me crying and helped me. Nothing serious and won’t be happening again.” They gasped “But that’s not even it. Miyeon and Yuqi caught us” Seungyeon was already choking on her bibimbap.

They looked at me like I was a clown with a watermelon in my head. Since they saw the whole post-breakup situation and how bad me and Minhyuk Oppa got they were shocked at this sudden reveal. They were looking at me and suddenly Eunbin turned her head to the side a little and started laughing.

"YAHHH, YUJINNIE UNNIE, YOUR NECK IS FULL OF MARKS. HOW THE HELL DOES UNNIE WANT US TO BELIEVE THAT YOU 'HOOKED UP A LITTLE' HAHAHA"

I got in front of the room's mirror already hearing the mockings and saw that the side of my neck was full of hickey marks. I looked at them in a shocked expression and Seunghee Unnie threw me her scarf laughing.

“Yujinnie, your whole speech of setting an example to the juniors and do not kiss anyone in front of them at parties anymore, just got hit by a car,” TingYan said it in her happy cutie way and I remembered what we were all doing before this and why I was here

 “You’re right hahaha. But that’s not the point right now…I actually want to apologize. To all of you and to Tingy” I was already sitting next to Tingyan and holding her hand but looking at all of them.

“That was a moment that we had to be together and back up TingYan on a decision, that I know wasn’t an easy one to make, but I just freaked out at the simple mention of losing you guys. I’m sorry for my reaction and I’ll support any decision you make, Kie” The last part I said looking at Tingyan and I could already see the tear on her eyes

“Wow, Minhyuk Oppa really does miracles,”  Yeeun said teasing me

“STOOOOOP,” I said trying to hide my face in Tingyan’s lap while they all laughed

“But seriously, Jinnie, It’s okay. I understand your reaction and it’s your first time reacting like that. And I think you shouldn’t blame this on yourself. Any of this is your nor our fault, and we all know that. The fault is from the people that managed us wrong all those years. And I didn’t want us to come to this point. I wanted to spend much more years working together with you guys, but they left me no choice, in a lot of ways.

“I know, TingTing. I hope we don’t lose contact, huh? We are and will always be your sisters.” I said already crying

“Group hug, babies,” Seughee Unnie said already getting up and calling us all for a group hug like we ways did when we were having a hard time.

We all got up, crying, and hugged so tight that it seemed like if we loosen up the grip on each other, someone would go away. And it kinda did…a part of us left but TingYan would always be part of CLC. She will always be my sister and my gossip pal that would stay the whole dawn talking to me in our room and would get up, eat ramen with me and watch dramas. But she will always be also the person that I will run to when I need to cry, that would call me to sleep together when we were afraid of the horror movie that we watched the previous night, and the person that cheered me when I was down. Ting and all of my members will always be like that. They are my family and we will always be somehow together, even if we are miles away. Even if we are in other projects.

Because love is like that! We cheer on the other person and we are happy if they are happy. Even if we get a little angry or moody, deep down, we love each other and are happy for each other.

So I will always have their backs and I know they will always have my back too. Even if that means I’m away from them…