Bonus package na naman tayo dahil this chapter also comes with a featured song na sa tingin ko ay very jiseul. Palakpakan natin ang Ayuz ni Rico Blanco. (At oo, :--) Agri ang course ni Joy.) Moving out lang, walang mag m-move on. Happy new year, happy birthday sa paborito nating laude na si Ji, at happy reading!

 

 

Sunday. Moving out. 8 days before graduation. 8 days din para umamin.

 

“’Di pa rin ako makapaniwala,” Lisa began. She was staring outside their dorm window as she sat on the bottom bunk of her shared bunkbed with Jisoo.

 

“Kami na lang ni Je ‘yung matitira dito. Seulgi, dito ka na lang kaya mag dorm?” She suggested.

 

Seulgi scoffed as she closed one of the boxes, “Tanga. Layo layo ng uni ko sa uni niyo.”

 

3 days after their inuman at Jisoo’s house, it was time for Wendy, Rosie, and Jisoo to move out of their shared dorm with Lisa and Noze. Seulgi volunteered to help since it was already her summer break and because she’s the only one who has a car among the six of them. Wendy, Rosie, and Jisoo could really use a free mode of transportation to move their belongings.

 

“Tsaka, dito pa rin ba kayo mag d-dorm ni Je? ‘Di kayo lilipat kahit kayong dalawa na lang?” Seulgi asked.

 

Noze shook her head, “Panigurado, magkakaro’n kami ng bagong roommates next sem. Baka freshies pa.”

 

Jisoo chuckled at Noze’s last sentence and tapped Lisa’s forehead from the top bunk, “Freshies daw.”

 

“Nuy, tirador ng freshie.” Rosie teased beside Wendy who was seated in front of Lisa.

 

“Gago, ‘di ah!” Lisa denied with a frown, “Binasted nga ako no’n.” She almost whispered.

 

The five of them ended up laughing at that while Lisa buried her face in her hands, concealing her chagrin and the memory of liking a freshman that resurfaced.

 

“’Wag ka rin sana mabasted ni Irene.” Jisoo commented in between her laughs.

 

Lisa clapped her hands once, “That’s so tama!”

 

“Sus, nag-uusap na ba kayo no’n?” Rosie asked with a raise of her brow.

 

“Naman! Nireto na ‘ko ni Gi sa kanya last week, hehe.”

 

“Nirereplyan ka naman ba?” Wendy challenged; her voice pregnant with playfulness.

 

That’s when Lisa’s face dropped. “Minsan.” She answered with monotonously.

 

“Uyyy,” They all said in chorus except for Lisa.

 

“Tol, baka naman busy.” Jisoo said as an attempt to ease her friend.

 

However, Lisa only let out a small sigh, “Busy, eh bakasyon na. Bakasyon niyo na ‘di ba, Gi?” she asked and received a nod from Seulgi as a reply.

 

“Malay mo nagpapahinga lang. Ano nga ulit course no’n ni Irene, Gi? Chem, ‘di ba? Gugustuhin talagang magpahinga no’n. Tangina ng chem na ‘yan eh.” Rosie commented which made Wendy chuckle and nod in agreement.

 

“Pwede,” Wendy started, “Duguan talaga sa college of science nina Gi. Baka nga nagpapahinga lang ‘yun si Irene.” She said and gave Lisa a small smile.

 

Lisa sighed once more and finally laid down on the bed, leaving her feet fixed on the tiled floor, “Baka nga. Ang hirap naman mangulila sa crush.”

 

Noze prompted an elbow on the bed to get a better view of her friend who seemed close to sulking, “Asows, baka si Seulgi talaga gusto no’n.”

 

Rosie shot Noze a look, “Gago ka, Je. Makiramdam ka naman, paiyak na ‘yung bading oh.”

 

From the top bunk, Jisoo could only steal a look at Seulgi who repeatedly shook her head upon hearing Noze’s comment. It’s been three days, but Jisoo still couldn’t stop thinking about what Seulgi meant when she said the words pwede namang more than that.

 

 

Hindi niya maiwasang isipin,

 

 

Kasi hindi pa rin talaga niya gets.

 

 

“Ang teluk mo, Je.” Seulgi firmly said with crossed arms while leaning against the door frame, “Tropa nga lang kami no’n ni Rene. Tsaka ikaw, Lisa…” she walked towards the bunk beds and sat next to Lisa who was still lying down with a pillow on her face.

 

“Nasa flight si Irene papuntang Japan ngayon kaya hindi ka narereplyan. ‘Wag ka nang masyadong magmukmok diyan.” Seulgi added and tried to grab the pillow from Lisa’s hands.

 

The latter slowly sat up with a small pout on her lips, “’Di niya man lang sinabi sa’kin.”

 

“Loko, ano ka, jowa?” Jisoo sassily asked from above Seulgi and Lisa.

 

Seulgi laughed lowly at Jisoo’s question, “Tsaka ano…” she trailed off, causing all eyes in the room to land at her, including Jisoo who had to adjust from her comfortable position.

 

Everyone was looking at Seulgi expectantly. Whatever it is that she was going to say, it had Jisoo curling her toes and her stomach doing somersaults because she had a gut feeling that Seulgi’s next words could either make her or break her.

 

 

“May iba akong gusto.”

 

 

At that, there came instant and various responses at once.

 

“Nakow!” Lisa exclaimed with a playful slap to Seulgi’s thigh.

 

“Loko, ‘di ka nag k-kwento!” Exclaimed Wendy before she added, “Sino ‘to?”

 

And then there was Rosie who seemed excited to put Seulgi in the hotseat, “Matagal mo nang gusto?”

 

“Inom tapos kwento!” Noze smugly smiled at Seulgi. But then, she adjusted her gaze to Jisoo who was silently laughing along with their friends who were on the bottom bunks. Though Noze has always been the type of person to relentlessly tease someone regardless of the situation, she couldn’t do it to Jisoo–she simply didn’t have the heart to do so.

 

However, Seulgi only stood up to pick up one of Rosie’s box of clothes, as if her friends’ responses only fell on deaf ears. The pursed smile on her lips did not go unnoticed even after she had turned around to make her way out of the room.

 

“Rosie, last box mo na ba ‘to?” Seulgi asked while walking; her tone puffed up.

 

“Yep!” Rosie was quick to answer.

 

“Hoy, bakla ka! Sagutin mo muna ‘yung tanong!” Wendy rose to her tiny feet and waddled away from her spot on the bed to eagerly follow Seulgi like a little kid (and hopefully get some answers out of her.)

 

As the two best friends left the room, Rosie, Lisa, Noze, and Jisoo were left staring at the empty doorframe that led to the dorm’s entry space. Their lingering gazes only left them wondering about Seulgi’s mysterious crush and the well-being of one of their friends.

 

Jisoo shifted on the top bunk and stared at the ceiling that was literally just a few inches away from her hold. She took a deep breath and languidly exhaled so that her friends wouldn’t hear the resentment in her breath; the aching reality that she could never be the one that Seulgi wants. The feeling fleeted repeatedly in her stomach, again and again until it has become fretful taste at the back of that makes her want to throw up.

 

Lisa stood up from the bunk bed upon hearing Jisoo shift above her. From Jisoo’s peripheral vision, she saw Lisa peering behind the metallic frame of the bed with her hands clinging to it. Jisoo’s eyes never strayed from the ceiling that seeming like an abyss of white light by then.

 

“Ji,” Lisa softly poked Jisoo’s cheek which yielded no reaction from the latter, just a bare and humdrum hum. “Inom tayo?” Lisa asked her sweetly, her lips curved up into a pursed child-like smile.

 

Jisoo still did not move a muscle, “Pass muna.”

 

“K ka lang, bakla?” Rosie asked while looking up at her from the bottom bunk that was parallel to the bed where Jisoo was laying.

 

Jisoo couldn’t dignify the question with an answer. All she could think about is the fact that Seulgi likes someone, and it isn’t her.

 

 

Pero okay nga lang.

 

 

Okay na ‘ko sa tropa lang.

 

 

 

 

. . . .

 

 

 

 

“Kain muna tayo! Maya na ulit tayo maghakot. Kahit diyan na lang tayo sa isawan sa harap. Tara bili.” Lisa whined.

 

The dorm was almost empty now. All that’s left are Lisa’s and Noze’s belongings, empty cabinets, mattresses, chairs, and study desks that are scheduled to be picked up the following day by a moving courier. Jisoo and Wendy had a few boxes left to be loaded in the trunk of Seulgi’s car. After that, the six of them could go home all together.

 

“Tara? Tapos last hakot na natin ng gamit namin ni Ji after.” Wendy said.

 

Noze’s face lit up in excitement, “G! Wends, libre mo naman me. Bili, gagraduate ka na next week eh.” She bugged the smaller woman.

 

Wendy simply nodded, “Oks. Sige. Kayong tatlo? Game kayo?” she looked at Rosie, Seulgi, and Jisoo one by one.

 

Rosie stood up from where she was sitting on one of the lower bunks and smiled, “Bawal tumanggi sa grasya.” She said as she made her way to stand next to Wendy.

 

“Pass muna ako, ‘di ako gutom.” Jisoo answered in all honesty.

 

Wendy arched a brow, “Sure? Kumain ka na kaya muna, Ji.”

 

“Loh! Magpapalibre pa naman din sana ako sa’yo kasi laude ka.” Noze pouted as she clung onto Lisa’s arm.

 

Jisoo simply shook her head with a soft smile to assure her friends that she was just fine, “Oks lang ako, promise. Kayo kayo na lang muna.”

 

“Bilhan ka na lang namin in case magutom ka na.” Rosie told her with a pursed, caring smile. She turned to Seulgi who was just silently standing near one of the desks, “Ikaw Gi? Isaw tayo?”

 

Seulgi lightly shook her head, “Samahan ko na lang si Ji. Okay lang, ‘di rin naman ako nagugutom.”

 

Jisoo shot Seulgi a look and immediately refused, “Luh, sumama ka na, Gi. Okay lang talaga ako dito. Peksman.”

 

Seulgi only shook her head once more before softly smiling, “Dito lang muna ako.”

 

Lisa arched a brow, “Si Seulgi, tinanggihan ang isaw? Bago ‘yun ah.”

 

Wendy subtly elbowed Lisa’s rib because the latter’s tone was implying something. Lisa muffled her gasp behind a hand that shot up to .

 

“Malas naman. Magpapalibre rin sana ako sa’yo eh.” Noze commented.

 

Rosie looked at Noze with furrowed brows, “Tanginang ‘to, puro palibre. ‘Di mo ba dala wallet mo?”

 

“Okay, sige Gi.” Wendy quickly cut in before Rosie and Noze could even start bickering, “Dadagdan na lang namin ‘yung take-out para sa’yo.”

 

Seulgi held a thumbs up for Wendy and then smiled, “Salamat, Wends! Ingat kayo!” she bid her goodbye and her four friends were out of sight.

 

As soon as she was left with Jisoo, Seulgi lied down on one of the bottom bunks and let out a tiresome sigh.

 

“Pagod?” Jisoo asked, who was now sitting on her old desk.

 

“Sinabi mo pa,” Seulgi chuckled and raised her forearm to her forehead, reveling in the comfort that the warm weight on her head gave her.

 

Though Seulgi couldn’t see it, Jisoo smiled subtly, “Tama ‘yan. Pahinga ka nga muna.”

 

Seulgi remained silent afterwards, and it was okay with Jisoo because she knew that Seulgi could use some peace and quiet so she could recharge for later. After all, an hour and a half drive also await her aside from the remaining boxes that are yet to be loaded in the trunk of her car.

 

Jisoo silently slid off her desk as to not disturb Seulgi. She opened both her drawers and began to pack the contents of it inside her last box. Most of which are just used up pens, post-its, index cards that are marked with class reminders, a poorly printed class schedule, an old calculator, aged class cards, and tiny notebooks, most of which have been used up already.

 

After emptying her drawers, Jisoo proceeded to clear out the wall right above her desks. She didn’t stick anything much on it, except for the massive bulletin board that held multiple papers and ornaments. As Jisoo took down each object, a wave of nostalgia washed over her.

 

She took down the keychains first; one of which was a tansan with an art piece imprinted in its inner surface. Jisoo remembered it being one of the three keychains that she bought from Mt. Cloud in Baguio way back in her freshman year, she gave the other two to Rosie and Lisa. Jisoo tucked them in the corner of her box to secure them.

 

Up next were stickers, postcards, and printed digital art that Jisoo bought during the annual art week in Seulgi’s university. She remembered buying tons of them because aside from the fact that she was a fan of art, Jisoo also wanted to help the student sellers and artists in funding their thesis. It’s been three years and yet, it seemed like the artworks never aged a day. One of which is a digitally painted still from the movie Happy Together, Jisoo’s favorite Wong Kar Wai film.

 

Jisoo tucked all of them in a spare envelope, that she found in one her drawers, before dumping it in the box. She figured she could still use them to decorate her workspace in the near future.

 

There were more movie and museum tickets that Jisoo carefully took down from the board. Each time she did so, she couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face because each aged, yet remarkable piece of paper reminded her of the good old days. However, the last three things that remained hanging were what made her feel sentimental the most.

 

They were photographs of herself with her friends in the places they love dearly; their dorm, Jisoo’s university, and Seulgi’s university as well.

 

Jisoo couldn’t take them down just yet because she believed that doing so would signify the end of this chapter in her life, the most notable yet short-lived so far.

 

The circumstances that a span of four years will bring may sound intimidating to one’s ears at first. That’s what Jisoo was thinking during the summer before her freshman year of college. A lot could happen, a lot could change, a lot of things could be lost, a lot of things could be gained and found. But Jisoo never really thought that the pressure and fear that those four years instilled in her mind could change and pass by so fast, much like a blink of an eye or a deeply taken breath. And before she knew it, her own pressure and fear have been morphed by time into sentimental reminiscent and awe.

 

All Jisoo could see in the photographs before her are memories that are tainted with golden hues and warm seconds in their hours that she wished had lasted longer. She knew that going back in time was impossible. So, as she stared at those well-kept photographs, Jisoo could only smile sadly as she placed herself in the shoes of her own past self; the one who was waiting, praying, and wondering if she was going to graduate or even pass her classes at all.

 

 

Yet, here she was, just 8 days away from graduating with Latin honors. (Jisoo still feels otherworldly about it.)

 

8 days away from letting go of her college years and entering the infamous real world.

 

 

By then, Jisoo knew that there are multiple moments that she may never experience or have ever again.

 

Like pulling all-nighters in the nearest McDonald’s branch to study.

 

Cycling around the campus using Rosie’s teal fixie, the gang’s favorite ride next to Seulgi’s car.

 

Jogging with Lisa and Noze on weekends and cloudy mornings.

 

Dropping Wendy off at her building each time Jisoo gets the chance because she loves to walk.

 

Having ‘study sessions’ after classes but they would only end up as another lengthy inuman session at the dorm or Dada’s, their favorite tambayan spot.

 

Even travelling for a solid hour and a half to visit Seulgi at her dorm and drag her to Tomato Kick or 19 East to have a few drinks (By few, they mean plenty.)

 

Watching football practices at F-Park during the golden hour and admiring the sky all together in the process. It served as the perfect time to have a sentimental moment within the golden and heavenly haze that the setting sun would bring.

 

Randomly visiting Seulgi at her university as a surprise and then they would eat some cheap dimsum around the university belt afterwards. (Maraming time ‘yan?)

 

On random weekends, it’s Seulgi who would pay her friends a surprise visit at their dorm while still wearing her uniform. Most of the time, she’d end up staying the night and sharing a bed with any of her five friends. In the morning, she’d leave as early as possible.

 

The past four years flashed before Jisoo’s eyes with just once glance at the photographs in her hands.

 

 

Ang bilis naman.

 

 

Jisoo’s heart was shaken upon realizing the reality that would come after graduation; she will no longer be able to see her five beloved and greatest friends as much as she used to and as much as she’d like.

 

By then, Jisoo would no longer wake up to the sight of a cream-toned ceiling that’s just inches away from her reach; no longer wake up to the buzzing sound of Wendy’s espresso machine and the alluring smell of kapeng Batangas; no longer catch sight of Rosie in her mustard helmet while riding her fixie around campus as Jisoo walks to her next class; no longer come home to Noze asking her for advice because Christian and her had gotten into another fight, yet again; no longer open the door for Lisa no matter how late or early because she tends to forget her keys every time; no longer see the door open to surprisingly reveal Seulgi in her uniform with some take-out from 24 Chicken in her hand.

 

The memories and sentiments were a mixed mess in Jisoo’s heart and mind. It made her chest ache, her eyes glisten, and her lips tremble in the slightest. Though she may not have moments like these anymore, one thing was for sure; it would take a damn lot for her to forget even just a fragment of these memories. Jisoo knew that she’d miss everything to an insurmountable degree. Forgetting would be simply impossible and remembering deeply would be heartbreakingly inevitable.

 

“Marami ka pa bang hahakutin?” Seulgi asked suddenly.

 

Jisoo was caught off guard. She quickly turned her head to meet Seulgi’s eyes. The latter was still laying in bed but was determined to get up in case Jisoo said yes.

 

“O-Oks na.” Jisoo replied in a stutter, she was a bit startled when Seulgi threw her question.

 

“Ha?” Seulgi asked and shifted on the bed, almost ready to get up.

 

Jisoo cleared once so she could reiterate herself, “Last box na ‘to tapos okay na.”

 

Seulgi replied with a nod, but when her eyes fell to the photographs in Jisoo’s hands, her eyes lit up.

 

“Tayo ba ‘yan?” Seulgi walked towards where Jisoo was seated. She clutched the backrest of the chair as her body closed the space between her and Jisoo. The moment Seulgi leaned closer to have a better look at the photographs, Jisoo felt the air being stolen from her lungs.

 

 

Wala bang space for the Lord?

 

 

Their hands brushed against one another when Seulgi held one of the polaroids to bring it closer to her eyes because she didn’t have her glasses with her. All Jisoo could feel by then were the tiny bodies of fire in her palms that set sparks on the surface of her skin.

 

Seulgi found herself snickering a few seconds later, Jisoo could only look at her with a puzzled mind.

 

“Naka uniform pa pala ako dito.” Seulgi said with a smile, her eyes locked on the photograph that was taken four semesters ago, during one of Seulgi’s surprise visits in the dorm. Jisoo and the rest were all sporting their casual wear and Seulgi was the only one wearing her university uniform. They were happily gathered around a table that had plates of food and bottles of alcohol on its surface.

 

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