Jieun was in the middle of revising the lyrics for her upcoming album when her phone vibrated, popping up a message from Jukjae.

 

Jukjae | 00.45

Jieun-ah, he likes you.

Should I congratulate you in advance?

Hahahaha.

 

It was past midnight, and although she was still working, her eyes had almost given up if only the message she just received didn’t wake her up, fully, verbally.

 

She knew what he meant by 'he'. It was Young K – a guitarist and vocalist from a band called Day6.

 

Jukjae had known how much Jieun liked Young K, and even more than just as a fan, she probably made it so obvious she liked him as a person – as a man. So when Jieun found out his Jukjae oppa was going to work with Young K, she would get jealous. However, there was nothing she could do. And when Jukjae told her he was going to have dinner with Young K and he asked if there was anything she would ask him to deliver to Young K, she could only roll her eyes.

 

She remembered when Wonpil, his bandmate, reached out to ask for her permission for covering her song, she almost jumped in her place out of joy. The truth was, she knew some of them liked her (as a musician). She read it somewhere on the internet. In fact, (not that she wanted to brag about it) it was nothing extraordinary to have celebrities mention her as their inspiration, or even to have them say they were her fans. Rather than taking them as her fans, she thought of them as her potential friends: for they may not be close to her now, but if they reached up to her one day, they’d surely be friends in no time. Being an introvert she was, reaching people first wasn’t her thing; therefore, she’d make sure to treat those who reached out to her first well.

 

But then, why did she jump when it was Wonpil?

 

The answer would be so simple: because he was a member of Day6, and she’d been head over heels to Day6 ever since she knew them, which was just last year when so many people recommended their song for her Youtube content. You were beautiful. Congratulation. Hi Hello. All Alone. Letting Go. The list went on. There were so many songs by Day6 that UAENA recommended, which made her think that probably, she and Day6 had similar fans/listeners. As her content was intended so that she sang other singers’ songs for the first time, she held her words and didn’t look up for those songs in advance and instead chose Zombie, a song that was quite popular at that time, and which Jieun found interesting. She didn’t pay attention to the lyric at first for she was never a fan of upbeat, noisy music, but after listening to Zombie a few times, she found herself enjoying it. As for the other songs, she did, though, look up for the lyrics and found herself falling for most of them. They were all original, intense, relatable, and most importantly, honest? Most of them were written in a straightforward, explicit manner, in contrast to the way she wrote her songs which were mostly subtle, implicit, and made up from metaphors. Jieun had been wanting to be able to do that: writing without metaphors. She had wanted to write things just as they were, depicting something hurtful just as it was, expressing madness just as it was without hiding behind cheerful songs or metaphors, but she could never. She just thought they were so honest, which she thought was something brave and amazing. So, she made sure to listen to their other songs after the broadcast (which she did), and it was in no time that she self-proclaimed herself as My Day, although secretly. 

 

How come she never know them before? She wondered then. It must be because she had been so busy the previous years, with dramas, album comeback, and her health, that she didn’t pay enough attention to other artists, especially a band, which she regretted the most.

 

And so, if she’d be friends with Wonpil, that meant there would be an opportunity for her to be friends with the other members as well, which would lead her to someone she’d been adoring the past year: Young K, or Younghyun, or Brian – whatever he wanted to be. The reason why she fell for him were: First, he was the man behind most of their lyrics – those bullets. He was the man who expressed things so honestly beautiful, that brave man. Second, just like her, he chose a stage name Young K, and although often his attempt in distinguishing these two identities (or three?) would confuse him, at the same time she knew it was the thing that kept him sane – or that what she saw, from her point of view. She liked both, though. She saw how quickly he shifted from a goofy, childish, and even pampered kid to somehow a cool and y guy the next second. She saw how he tried to remain calm and confident in the hardest moment, wondering how amazing it must be, putting a strong character outside all the time as Young K, wondering how Younghyun must’ve felt. Third, he loved his family, which she knew after watching their shows and found him proudly showing his family in the middle of their fans. Fourth, he was a hard worker (the best at it) - how could he be in the middle of monthly single preparation (which include writing lyrics, arranging, recording, music video shooting, more recording, and all that) and be in college at the same time? Fifth – wait, there were so many reasons that the list probably would go on because he was just beyond amazing.

 

However, above all, the thing that strongly drew her to him was his view about living, which for her was somehow endearing. Despite his behavior that sometimes seemed a bit childish, he was really mature. It was rather uncommon for her to find someone she could be aligned with, especially those who were the same age as her.  She didn’t know much, though, because she only watched him from videos and never once met him, but whenever he talked about something, it was as if she would agree and she kind of felt their way of thinking would be aligned – or she hoped so. That was why she wanted to talk to him in person so badly. She wanted to know more about him - even more so after his album came out, one of which track was 'Good Night, Dear", the one he worked with Jukjae. It was a beatiful song to listen through the night, especially for someone who had insomnia just like her. It was as if, as if, the lyrics speak to her.

 

But there was no such thing.

 

The problem was, between Day6 members, Jieun noticed that Young K was the only member who never mentioned her. Never in interviews. Never in a magazine. Never. She even looked up from the internet about celebrities who admitted they were her fans – he wasn’t on the list. Even after her cover of Zombie, Young K had only thanked her politely while still maintaining his cool image, responding to her by singing her song (which turned out so well and again making her fall even more). So it made her curious, and worried, and angry at the same time, and How could he not like her? And having such thought made her cringe – it was so unlike her to fall for someone at her age. She always looked up to someone much older than her because she was like a grandpa, but this childish Young K was breaking her record.

 

And so, she tried to keep in touch with Wonpil because just in case, just in case, there would be a moment where she and Day6 could cross paths someday. She could even ask for collaboration, although probably not in the meantime because she had prepared almost two albums ahead of time. She even bravely told Wonpil to send Young K her regards regarding his new album, but Wonpil wasn’t so cooperative that he told her to do it by herself. It was as if the universe wasn’t on her side.

 

But then, having Jukjae tell her he liked her was turning things upside down.

 

She didn’t jump in her place (she was in a prone position, anyway). As she re-read the message letter by letter and made sure she didn’t misread the message, she immediately sat up: big eyes, faster heartbeat, hot cheeks. A big smile was formed on her face, and she knew if her brother saw this, he would nonstop. Freezing for a moment, she found herself burying her face on her pillow, silently screaming her joy.

 

Her one-year question long was answered.

 

Her one-year question long was answered!

 

However, her euphoria was distracted by another message.

 

Jukjae | 00.55

But, Jieun-ah, he’s going to the military soon, right?

 

Then the reality hit her.

 

Ah, right… She grimaced, sighing a long sigh. She remembered him saying in his IG live that he was releasing his solo album, right on the same day he announced he was going to the army (what kind of joke was that?)

 

After trying to gain her composure, she wrote back to Jukjae.

 

Jieun | 00.58

Ah, right…

 

There would only be less than a month before his departure, and it might sound like a teenager being in a love-struck, but really, she just wanted to talk to him even for once. She was scared before, but now that she kind of knew how he felt towards her, she thought that maybe, maybe she could just go for it.

 

Would he find her weird, though?

 

But then, who cares?

 

Biting her lip, she scrolled through her contact book, stopping when it reached Young K’s number.

 

A minute.

 

Two minutes.

She contemplated if she had to just call him – out of the blue, in the middle of the night on top of that. It was freaking 1 AM. But then, he might not be sleeping yet, right? He was in the middle of his album promotion; she knew how busy it was – there was no way he had already asleep. And wasn’t he just having dinner with Jukjae? He must have not sleept yet.

 

But wouldn’t it be rather impolite?

 

Thinking it would be best to just send him a text message in the morning, she put her phone away and tucked herself into sleep.

 

15 minutes.

 

30 minutes.

 

She opened her eyes. She couldn’t sleep!

 

Sighing, she closed her eyes once again, only to find herself sitting up 30 minutes later. She figured out she wouldn’t be able to sleep if her mind wasn’t at peace: she had to try, at least.

 

If he was sleeping already, then that was that.

 

Taking back her phone, she took a deep breath before finally calling him.

 

His two minutes ringtone felt like forever for Jieun. He looked at the digital clock on her bedside table: 02.02. She’d wait for another minute. Please, please.

 

Then,

 

“Y-yeoboseyo?” A voice from the other line answered. A voice she was familiar with now. The fact itself made her smile awkwardly, realizing how reckless and impulsive she was.

 

Trying to remain calm, she gathered her courage to call out his name, “Yeoboseyo, Young K-ssi,” She gave a short space, then, “It’s IU.”

 

“Y-yes...I know.”

 

She raised her eyebrows, surprised, but then remembered the reason she called him and what Jukjae just told her: he liked her. But did he like her like that, really? Did he save her number from Wonpil? And she just realized Young K had been stuttering – which was cute?

 

The image of Young K trying to act all cool made him smirked, so she played her role well. (Where was the shy, introvert Lee Jieun now?)

 

“Oh? Do you know it’s me already?” She teased. “But this is the first time I called you, though? I thought maybe you should be surprised knowing it is me. Have you probably saved my number before?”

 

There was a pause before Young K answered, “Ah, I was…”

 

But there was another long pause she didn’t expect to be there. She didn’t expect Young K would be speechless because of her little joke, really, because she never thought she was good at this. So she chuckled, reassuringly said, “I was just kidding. I hope I’m not interrupting your time, I mean, since it’s 2 AM.”

 

“Not at all!” He said, almost shouted, sounded like asking for war, and she held back her laughter. She really, really didn’t expect Young K would be like this. Where was the cool Young K? Although he was speaking ever so politely (well, she was his senior after all, but…) which was to be expected, but him getting shy wasn’t something she’d imagined.

 

“I mean, no, it’s fine, I’m not... doing anything right now.” He said, now becoming a bit composed.

 

Now, now, Jieun didn’t know what to say next. It was so impulsive of her to suddenly call him, not even preparing a single topic to say. She almost panicked, but then she heard Young K ask, “May I know what brings you to call me, Jieun-ssi?”

 

Jieun smiled. “It’s so sudden, isn’t it?” She asked back. “And I’m not doing a shooting right now if you probably wonder.”

 

A second after she said that, she suddenly panicked as she realized how stupid it must be. Wait, what shooting? It’s freaking 2 AM, duh, what are you thinking Lee Jieun?

 

Trying to cover her mistake, she quickly changed the topic. “I was just going to say that I am recently listening to your songs. They are really good songs, and my father apparently likes them too.”

 

It was honest, though.

 

“Okay,” He nodded. Then he offered to send his album, in a somehow polite but shy manner which (again) Jieun found funny – and somehow, made her shy too. As she remembered there was only a little time left before his departure, she might as well use the opportunity well: she asked him to meet instead – in which he agreed.

 

She slept safe and sound the rest of the night.

 

 

---

 

 

The next morning, she left for a song arranging with Jukjae, who smirked at her as soon as he met her. Jieun chuckled, remembering how she impulsively called him, but even more because remembering of how shy he had been. Jukjae didn’t know this. She wondered what he would do once he knew, for when she thought about it once more, she just realized how brave she was and how playful she was and just how comfortable she was last night, even for someone she had never met. At the same time it felt weird (having Young K suddenly in her comfort circle), she really enjoyed it, and it felt like it’d be fine, being just Lee Jieun.

 

Just as they were taking a short rest and Jieun wanted to tell him, his phone rang – it was Young K.

 

Jieun’s eyes widened. Silently, she signed Jukjae to put his phone on the side closer to her, before shifting closest to him so that she could listen as well.

 

“SHE FREAKIN CALLED ME!”

 

Jukjae narrowed his eyes at the side, glaring at the younger artist. It was out of his knowing. Jieun, on the other hand, giggled silently at how hyped Young K was. She, too, could feel heat crept up her face making her flustered, but she coolly ignored it.

 

“She must’ve thought I was an idiot... right? Ah, it’s so embarrassing. Younghyun was such a fool. I wanted her to see me as Young K though….”

 

Her eyebrows raised. Out of the unexpected things of Young K she just found out, this was something she… felt bad?

Did he think like that? Just being shy, did he think he was an idiot?

 

It was a normal thing to be embarrassed in front of someone we adore, right? But with that being said, could it mean Young K really like her like that?

 

And there again, he was distinguishing Young K and Younghyun – but Jieun supposed she would like him as Younghyun as well, though? His way of thinking had nothing to do with him being Young K. Him loving his family had nothing to do with Young K. Him trying to keep sane and hardworking, switching between college and being an artist was mostly Younghyun’s thing and not Young K.

 

She continued listening and promised to herself she’d make sure he knew what she felt about him later. She had to.

 

Her meeting with Jukjae had ended earlier than she imagined, so she took time thinking about what she was supposed to say to Young K, just to make sure he felt at ease. She didn’t want him to look at her as Jieun – his senior, someone he was looking up to and talked to politely. She wanted him to look at her as Jieun, someone at his age, having a crush on him all the same way he had on her. Honestly, though, she had never had a crush on someone her age (let alone younger) before, so she had no idea how she should act and react in front of him. But when he sent her a message first, she felt like a teenager once again.

 

She smiled as he thanked her once again and (trying to look cool) answered him casually.

 

She waited as the screen showed ‘Kang Younghyun was typing’ under his name, but it stopped, and it popped again and stopped again.

 

Jieun frowned, then – could it be that he was nervous, again?

 

Now, now, she was too confident, wasn’t she? 1 minute felt like forever as he wasn’t saying anything, so she took the initiative to send another message, honestly asking him to drop the formality so that (hopefully) she’d casually look at her as Lee Jieun.

 

Young K | 12.27

I get it, Jieun-ssi.

 

Jieun frowned. I get it? “I get it” Instead of “I see” or a simple “Okay”? Still with all the formalities, again?

 

Jieun | 12.27

Hey, drop the honorific already! 😄

And also, I never think you are an idiot. I believe you’re still a fun and cool person to be with, Younghyun-ssi!

 

She was surprised at how honest and blunt her words were, but then she didn’t mind. He was going to the military and there was so little time left before his departure and she couldn’t just waste time being formal to each other. It wouldn’t work that way.

 

She was convinced she was having herself composed, but as his next message showed up, she couldn’t help herself from getting flustered, nevertheless.

 

Young K | 12.29

Well then, Jieun-ssi. It’s really nice to meet you.

As Younghyun, in particular.

 

She felt butterflies in her stomach. Oh, shoot.

 

 

-

FIN.

I mean, real fin, I promise.