[1]
Not Young K, but Younghyun
The first time Wonpil had an idea to cover IU’s song, Wonpil was so casual about it – the others were too, except Younghyun, who seemed to be so restless. They were sitting on their dining table, eating some spicy fried chickens Sungjin just bought from a new store next to their dorm, when Wonpil told them he was going to cover another song.
“IU’s lullaby,” Wonpil said when Sungjin asked him what song he would cover. It was a good choice, knowing Wonpil had such high pitch voice that usually matches with songs that were sung by female singers, and the other members nodded proudly, trusting he would be doing well with the song. However, Younghyun’s first response was: “Are you going to ask her for her permission too?”
It was probably out of habit, or out of respect, that Wonpil always tried his best to inform the singer whose song he would cover before he did it. He had contacted Kwon Jinah as well as Kim Sarang before, so it would be a normal thing for him to do so this time. However, when he said it would be IU, Younghyun couldn’t help but look at him suspiciously with narrowed eyes.
Wonpil, on the other hand, didn’t make a big deal out of it. He only nodded, casually humming, “Mmm."
Younghyun scrunched the bridge of his nose and asked, “Where the heck did you get her number from, by the way?”
Wonpil grinned widely at him. “I just got it somehow.” He answered. “Why? Jealous much?”
Younghyun grunted, swallowing even more mouthfuls of rice and fried chicken, gaining chuckles and teases from the others. In fact, Wonpil had already contacted her yesterday, together with the others when Younghyun was out for his radio schedule.
It was not a secret between the members how Younghyun was fanboying over IU. In fact, all the members seemed to admire her as a musician too. They even wait for her upcoming album and music video together at midnight, witnessing as her tracks went up before getting perfect all-kill repeatedly, getting fascinated by how beautiful her songs turned out, and talking a lot about her in general. However, Younghyun’s fanboying was slightly different from other members in that he wanted to keep it a secret so much. Unlike Jae and Wonpil who could proudly say they were big fans of IU and even recommended her songs in public, or Sungjin who bravely sang her song on the radio, Younghyun usually stayed quiet about it. Even when he found her singing their song ‘zombie’, he was trying to keep it cool although he was literally jumping in the dorm. There was this one time when some radio DJ asked them which artist they wanted to collaborate with, and as Wonpil casually answered it was their IU-sunbaenim, Younghyun did nothing but watch his younger brother with narrowed eyes, both hands sweating under the table.
No one understood why Younghyun was so adamant about it: keeping a straight face, acting like he wasn’t such a big fan when they knew in truth, he went crazy just by watching her acting sweet during her ‘holding hand’ performance - which they could only watch from the screen. When IU pointed at the audience, clenched her hand next to her cheek, and crunched her nose, blood rushed to his face that the members used to about it so much. He was as red as a tomato, who wouldn’t tease? Even Dowoon who was supposed to be the nice and cute maknae would just as much.
But then again, there was no moment in the public where Younghyun admitted he, personally, was a fan of her. Not on any occasion, not in any radio show, nowhere. He kept his image as Young K – the cool, amazing, almost perfect idol people would fall for. Debuting much more later than her, he knew exactly she only saw them no more than just as hoobaes (junior). Though it was fine for the other members (Jae even said he would retire if only one day IU asked her to collab, knowing it would be his biggest achievement and was such wishful thinking), a selfish part of Younghyun didn’t want it. He wanted her to see him more like a man – someone she could also look up to, not always the other way around (because he looked up to her). But there was no way IU would look at him as a man, knowing he was Younghyun who was just instinctively good at surviving this life – what was there to be proud of? There would be no other way. He needed to stay being Young K, at least in front of her.
However, later that night, Younghyun asked for her number through Wonpil, who just laughed at even more but said nothing much about it. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything with the number (there was no way he would call her out of the blue for no occasion – wouldn’t it be creepy?) anyway. He was just lying on his bed, staring at those numbers, praying that some wonderful miracle would offer him a chance to talk to her someday.
The news of his enlistment came earlier than he imagined. It was not a big deal, honestly, because he himself wanted to get enlisted as earlier as possible for the sooner they finished the military, the sooner they would have complete members of Day6 again. That meant Jae wouldn’t have to wait too long. That meant the fans wouldn’t wait too long. But before that, he really wanted to do something: release a solo album. He had prepared his album for quite a long time, in fact, and he knew he really needed to release it as soon as possible before his enlistment.
He had to, because two years would be too long for the fans (and for him) to wait. Besides, he had imagined how great it would turn out, knowing he had put so much effort writing and directing his album, making sure he only included his best songs to the tracks.
Silently, he also imagined, back in his head, that that particular person would notice him through his album, and the message he tried to convey would somehow reach her, and maybe, just maybe, she could see the good side of him from this album, which he prepared (although in such limited time) with all of his might.
Just, somehow.
Fortunately, the album was well anticipated. He went to perform on several music shows, made two music videos, and even made some documentaries as well as live shows. He could say he was content with everything he had done, and although every now and then he thought something could’ve probably been better, he was pretty much satisfied with what he got; however, something was still bugging his mind before he left for the military.
Did she… at least - listen to his songs?
As it kept bothering his mind, he decided he needed an answer – he needed to at least try, asking, right?
So it was one evening when he was having dinner with Jukjae, the guitarist as well as an arranger to his song “Good Night, Dear”, as a little celebration for their song’s live recording being out on youtube, when he mustered up his courage to bring up the topic to Jukjae. He knew he had to.
“Hyung, what if…”
But he trailed off. In his mind, he had already cursed himself for trailing off over something that might seem trivial for others. It was true that he was good with words, but he was always so blunt about his words. This time, though, he doubted that being blunt would be of some help. Could he just blurt his mind – that if it was possible, he wanted to try to meet IU in person? But what occasion was the meeting for? A collab? It must be one good reason, but it wasn’t completely honest. Of course, he wanted to do a collab, but rather than with him alone, it should be a collaboration with Day6. This time, he wanted to meet her personally, not as Day6 member. He wanted to talk to her. About this and that. About life. About many things.
Biting his lip as he searched for a good combination of words, he maintained his low voice and asked ever so carefully. “I mean, are you recently keeping in touch with IU-ssi?”
Jukjae nodded, “She’s working on her next project so, yeah, what’s up with her?”
“Do you think she knows me, by any chance?” Younghyun continued.
He must’ve looked so stupid right now. But to his surprise, Jukjae seemed indifferent and cool about it. “Sure, she once sang your song, right? That... what song was it again?”
Jukjae was so focused on eating his food he must haven’t noticed how nervous Younghyun was already.
“Zombie,” Younghyun confirmed. In front of him was the food he ordered, and he was always a big eater, but right now, his mind wasn’t fully there to eat. He was going to leave soon, and if it was possible, he wanted to just tell her directly how his song was actually-
“Ah, that Zombie.” Jukjae cut his thought, looking up at him before casually saying, “She knows you for sure. In fact, she knows many of your songs.”
“I mean,” There was a pause, “Personally,” Younghyun added.
Jukjae chuckled. “What’s with the personally stuff, though? I mean, she knows you, probably.”
Younghyun’s face flushed red.
It was that right moment that Jukjae seemed to understand. He blinked, putting his chopsticks down, and look at his eyes. “Do you mean, personally as in…”
Younghyun couldn’t hide his smile (his sheepish smile) in front of his dear hyung now. Might as well go for it, right? It wasn’t like he wasn’t close enough to bring the topic to his hyung. It wasn’t even the first time they worked together. By now, Jukjae had probably known how he admired IU – although he never said it – just like the members, right?
“Do you like, like her?”
“I mean, doesn’t everyone like her though?” Younghyun almost lost it.
“You know what I mean.” Jukjae ignored him, “I mean you like, like, her?”
Younghyun hadn’t yet found a proper answer to that when the older one suddenly exclaimed, “Oh God, Younghyun! Are all these Good Night, Dear things written for her?”
Younghyun blinked, surprised at how quick Jukjae understood. He wanted to just say that all the lines in Good Night, Dear were answers to her 'Knee'. He had known for a while (and it wasn’t a secret anymore) how IU experienced insomnia now and then and even some of her songs were explaining about it that he had the urge to somehow comfort her, but he didn’t have the chance as she didn’t know him personally. Therefore, he figured, it was only through his songs that his message would be conveyed.
Younghyun bit his lip again, sheepishly holding his smile. “Does it… show?”
Jukjae took time to consider his next answer. “It… shows? But it doesn’t show. I mean, I don’t know how close you guys are, so yeah.”
“That’s why I’m asking you if she knows me,” Younghyun responded as a matter of factly.
Jukjae somehow laughed, although he decided to continue eating. Then in between his laugh and food, he said playfully, “This is the first time I saw you like this, Younghyun-ah. Why haven’t you told me earlier? Had I known this earlier, I would’ve just set you up…”
“She doesn’t even know me, hyung!” Younghyun started to whine. Of course, this was Younghyun. To his hyung Jukjae, he was only Younghyun. “Does she even have a boyfriend…”
This time now, Jukjae forgot about his food and just laughed. He ignored Younghyun’s whine, though, making sure he would feel at ease. Then he stated, in the most casual way possible, “She doesn’t, currently.”
And again, Younghyun’s face turned red. He was actually losing it, right?
“Do you want me to introduce you? I mean, she’s friendly. She’d be glad to have a new friend.”
Not that she’d see me like that, though…
But, after gaining his composure back, he cleared his throat and asked, “Can you just... somehow, recommended her this song without saying anything about me? I mean, since you’re in this song too, you might as well flex about it somehow?”
Jukjae nodded, then. “Sure, since I took part in this as well.”
Later that night (or morning, since it was practically 2 AM), when he was on his way back to the dorm (after live recording with Jukjae and finishing some other stuff), his phone rang. Due to fatigue and drowsiness, his mind had gone blurry and his eyes were almost shut off, but when he saw the caller ID, he suddenly went alerted as he clumsily dropped his phone.
“Why?” his manager, who was right now driving, asked worriedly.
“N-nothing,” he stammered, reaching his phone with trembling hands. His phone was still ringing, and as much as he didn’t want to make the caller wait, he just couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw IU’s name on his phone screen. Was he dreaming?
He must’ve been dreaming.
He slapped his left cheek only to regret it afterward as it actually hurt, then, still with a trembling finger, he cleared his throat and swiped the green button.
“Y-yeoboseyo?” He was rather asking. He almost couldn’t find his voice because it was literally 2 AM and he was fatigued and he had been recording all day.
“Yeoboseyo, Young K-ssi,” The voice from the other side was clear and firm despite its unique softness. It was really IU.
Eyebrows raised, eyes widened, and mouth opened, Younghyun really couldn’t believe his hearing now. He just couldn’t believe everything that was happening. He must’ve been dreaming – only it wasn’t, for he slapped himself already (should he do it twice?) But there was no way IU would call him out of the blue, on his way to home in the middle of the night, sounding almost like someone who had known him before.
Could it be that his Jukjae hyung really asked her for him? But Jukjae was just with him a while ago…
No, no, the response shouldn’t be this quick.
While Younghyun’s brain was still freezing, the caller continued, “It’s IU.”
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