Yoobin can clearly remember that party, up to this warm yet tiring and lonely day. That party has ruined her entire life. That party has changed her life, forever. That party is kept in her memory so indelibly. She can’t forget it no matter how hard she tries. Things have happened at that party… things that… changed her life, forever. And, not in a good way. Cause after all… playing with fire is a really dangerous game… 

 

Yoobin never expected things to change so much so fast. She never expected these turn on events either. And even though she was deeply hurt and alone in all those… she somehow still feels relieved. Relieved that all those are finally over. 

 

That party… in that party… Yoobin finally lost her temper. Her patience. But most of all… her control… and when that happened… things got out of control too… 

 

Yoobin can clearly remember the turn of the unfolding events. She is now sitting on the train station, on her way home. Yes, back to her hometown, to her parents. Why is she returning so soon you ask me? Because things got that bad… As she sits there, all alone, squinting her eyes slightly because the sun is too bright for her eyes to handle, she can clearly remember the reason as to why she is there in the first place. She can clearly remember everything that happened. The party… and the events that happened after that. Her mind starts unfolding the events, painfully slow and with perfect details, exactly how she remembers them, actually. Painfully slow, and too clear to forget. And even though months have passed ever since the events… Yoobin can still remember them as if not even a single day has passed by. 

 

Her mind starts from the party cause that’s when things fully started to change. All that time, Yoobin was trying to control herself and move on from Yewon. But that party… that party her patience grew thin. Yewon was being too much. 

 

She can still remember how the girl was trying to get on her nerves, to edge her on, to make her do something! She kept on dancing ily, her body too close to Jiho’s. Yoobin smiles sadly to herself as she shakes her head. No. She needs to focus and play the whole scene from the start in her head. It’s torturing, she knows. But she never refused the fact that maybe she’s a masochist after all. Torturing herself till she’ll break. 

 

It was Tuesday night. Shiah’s brother was arranging a party. And, of course, since he was famous ⏤he and Shiah were in the dancing team of the college and everyone knew them for their amazing dancing skills but also because both of them were really really social⏤ the party was… filled with many college students. And when I say many… I mean… maaaaany. Yoobin barely knew all those. She only knew her friends and Shiah’s brother. She wasn’t even sure how he had managed to arrange that chaotic party in his dorm room. Of course, he had asked the help of some of his friends so of course the party wasn’t just in one dorm room but the few ones around it. Still, Yoobin thought the idea was crazy and pointless. They were going to make a mess at the dorms and then it would have been even harder for them to clean up the mess. She didn’t even want to think of the cleaning part actually…

 

And as she walked by, squeezed bodies in the hallway, trying to reach for Shiah’s brother’s dorm room, a dude ran out of the room and spat out his guts,... almost… ‘See?’ That’s exactly what Yoobin thought. She didn’t want to deal with all those drunk and immature students but Jiho was insisting that she would have fun and maybe find an interesting girl as well, since she and Dami didn’t hit it off. 

 

Yoobin passed by a few students that were squeezed by the door of the dorm and walked inside. The strong smell of alcohol and sweat was everywhere as loud, party music was playing and dim lights were flashing around the room crazily. She almost felt like having a headache. She walked around the room, trying hard to reach for the bar near the living room to get herself a drink. She wasn’t a fan of alcohol but in this situation, only alcohol could keep her going. Students were dancing everywhere crazily and squeezed with each other but did anyone care? Not really… 

 

Yoobin looked around the room, searching for her friends. She reached the bar that was settled near the living room and grabbed herself a cup of a random drink, hoping that it wasn’t something weird or something that would harm her later on. She sipped from it as she glanced around the living room. 

 

“Hey! You made it!” Seunghee said as she came to greet her along with Hyojung. She dragged her girlfriend towards Yoobin, by holding her from her hand. Yoobin found them cute once again even though Hyojung was grumbling once again to Seunghee to stop dragging her around as if she was a puppy. ‘They’re adorable’, she thought. Both of them had heavy makeup on and really pretty clothes, unlike Yoobin who hadn’t really tried too hard for that party. 

 

“I did.” She finally answered and giggled lightly. 

 

“Have you seen Jiho?” She asked. After all, she had come for her, basically. And for Mihyun. Mihyun and her had become close again, after Jiho’s birthday party, but Mihyun was still sad and disappointed by what she had seen. 

 

“Uh… I think so. She was somewhere around here last time I saw her.” Seunghee said. 

 

“Last time you saw her? How long was that?”

 

“Half an hour? I think? Gosh! I’m losing sense of time here! Hyojung’s been acting too lovey-dovey tonight and I haven’t been able to see or interact with many people so it really feels like I’m losing track of time.” Seunghee said and Hyojung blushed. She mumbled something in Seunghee’s ear, but because of the loud music no one was able to hear her. 

 

“What?” Seunghee asked her about three times. Hyojung pouted annoyed and finally said a lot louder, 

 

“Stop exposing me on Yoobin!” Seunghee laughed, surprised and Yoobin just smiled innocently. 

 

“Yoobin is family pabo.” Hyojung just hid her head on Seunghee’s neck. 

 

“What is it? Gosh I swear she’s acting too shy and lovely tonight it’s driving me insane!” Seunghee said to Hyojung at first but then to Yoobin who laughed in response. 

 

“Enough with socializing and exposing me! Tonight you’re only mine!” Hyojung said in a passionate way as she tried to sound seductive, but slightly failing since Seunghee only laughed in response. 

 

“Yah! Stop laughing at me!” Seunghee tried hard to but as soon as Hyojung actually tried to act seductively as well, by biting her ear, Seunghee’s laughter was cut short and her eyes widened in surprise. 

 

“Um… I’ll see you later Yoobin ah. As you can see, she’s uncontrollable tonight! Dunno what’s wrong with her! Yah! Stop dragging me~” Yoobin laughed as she waved goodbye to Seunghee who was dragged away by a really naughty Hyojung. It looked like the roles were reversed. Now Hyojung was the one dragging Seunghee away. Yoobin couldn’t help but laugh. Those two were really cute. They weren’t that lovey-dovey that often. Most of the time they tried to be more friendly and subtle because Yoobin was around. But Yoobin could say it was hard for them sometimes. She had been living with them for a month or so before the exams of the first semester of that year so she knew them well enough to realize that sometimes they just wanted to make out but just because she was in there too, they tried not to. 

 

“Hey! If anyone asks you where I am, tell them I was with you!” Mihyun said in a rush and passed by Yoobin and headed towards the kitchen. What happened? What had she done again? Yoobin just giggled to herself. Mihyun was always crazy. 

 

“I just arrived though!” She said slightly louder for Mihyun to hear her. Mihyun just waved her hand dismissively at her and disappeared further into the kitchen. ‘This girl…’ Yoobin thought. 

 

"Yoobin! Hey!" Jiho exclaimed happily as soon as she saw her. She and Yewon were sitting on one of the couches. Jiho waved her hand over to Yoobin and the girl walked towards them. 

 

"Hey." She greeted them and stood beside them. 

 

"You made it! Dami was looking for you." 

 

"Dami?"

 

"Mmm. Nae." 

 

"She's here?" 

 

"Yeah why wouldn't she be?" Yoobin didn't comment on that. After all, why was she, herself, here in the first place was the real question here. 

 

"Come sit with us."

 

"No it's fine."

 

"Come on, stop being such a weirdo!" Jiho said and dragged Yewon towards her, placing her on her lap, basically. Not like Yewon minded. In fact, that's exactly what she wanted. More skinship in front of Yoobin. Yoobin almost rolled her eyes at that. 'Seriously?' she thought. She sat next to them and crossed her legs, slightly annoyed as she tapped her fingers on her knees impatiently. 

 

"Where is she?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Dami! Duh! You said that she was looking for me." 

 

"Ah yeah. I dunno. Why? Wanna leave us so soon?"

 

"Yeah. I prefer to not be a third wheel you know."

 

"We're not kissing though!" 

 

"Actually, since you're here now, why don't we tell the guys to add us to their game?" Yewon suggested. It was true. The students around the couch were already playing a spin the bottle game but Jiho and Yewon had refused to play, too bored to play with them. Yoobin looked at the guys and thought about it. Why did she, though? She would have normally refused to play. It was pointless and silly. Did she even want to get kissed by any of those random kids? It would have been disgusting anyway since most of them were half drunk already!

 

"Ok cool. I'm in." She said casually though, and sipped from her drink. She wasn't sure why she decided to play, but… she did. And now it was too late to take it back. 

 

They played for a bit but Yoobin got bored eventually. Yewon and Jiho had been kissing all that time because it wasn't their turn to play anyway. Yoobin wasn't picked by anyone as the bottle rotated for a long time and her turn wasn't anytime soon as well so she had to witness Jiho and Yewon kissing. Which got tiring soon. So she just stood up at some moment, mumbling something like, "I'm outta here." And headed towards the bar to get herself another drink. She didn't like how much her heart ached by seeing Yewon and Jiho kissing but it did. She was jealous and hurt and she couldn't help herself for that. 

 

"Hey! Binnie! I was looking for you!" Dami said and greeted her friend at some point. Yoobin was brought back to reality and finally managed to get her eyes away from the kissing couple and looked back at Dami. She tried to unclench her fingers from holding the cup too tightly. She greeted her friend back with a smile and tried to ignore Yewon's intense stare on her as she made out with Jiho. She should be with Jiho and not mind anyone else! 

 

"Hey! I'm here."

 

"Great. Now I feel less weird."

 

"You have told me you wouldn't come. How did you end up here?"

 

"Yoohyeon wanted to party. And to look cool in front of Minji and she obviously can't do this alone so she dragged me here." Yoobin nodded her head in understanding. 

 

"Where is she now?"

 

"Dunno. Probably with Minji." Yoobin nodded her head. They got a few drinks and talked for a little until Yoobin got annoyed by Yewon's behaviour again. The girl had stood up and dragged Jiho a bit further and started dancing around everyone. A lot of kids were looking at them and dancing along with them but Yewon didn't really care about them. All she cared about was if Yoobin was looking at her. Looking at her while she danced so well and so ily, looking at her while she danced all over Jiho, in Jiho's arms and kissing her all over. Yoobin's eyes were on her and on the one hand she was mesmerized by Yewon's great dancing skills, by her hard, hot and playful stare on her. But on the other hand, she was all over Jiho. Jiho's eyes were on her, Jiho's hands were on her waist, Jiho's lips were on her neck. It hurt so much. 

 

Yoobin wanted to run away. But not yet. Her anger was rising upon her. Her jealousy, her hurt, everything. She wasn't going to back down and run away just yet. 

 

"Wanna dance with me?" She suggested it to Dami. Dami was slightly caught off guard but agreed. After all, she was a great dancer and liked to dance from time to time so why not? Yoobin smirked, satisfied as she stared at Yewon while Dami's arms were wrapped around her waist. Yewon bit her lips and stared at her angrily. Yoobin was at her limit though. Yewon was provoking her a lot. She knew she would break at some point. 

 

Yewon wrapped her arms around Jiho's shoulders as she started moving her hips, getting lost into the rhythm. She got even closer to Jiho and her lips hovered all over Jiho's lips and neck. As she reached for Jiho's neck, she stared at Yoobin and as soon as she saw Yoobin's jealous stare, she smirked and kissed Jiho's neck. 

 

Yoobin wasn't the one to play games like that. She wasn't as good at dancing as Dami was and she wasn't good at playing games like those either. She also didn't want to use Dami. Dami was her friend. She wasn't one to use people. No. That was Yewon's thing. She accepted her loss and moved back to the bar, getting herself another drink. Dami followed her but Yoobin's mood was down. Too down to be lifted up by any joke Dami tried to crack. She was really deeply hurt and all her eyes could see was Yewon's brown eyes as she smiled in victory and danced close to Jiho. 

 

She couldn't do this anymore. Yewon's playful stare and grin made her go nuts. How happy and satisfied she was that she had won over their little silly game. Yoobin was so mad. How could Yewon do this to them? Both her and Jiho? Play with their hearts as if they were dolls? How awful was she really? Yoobin couldn't handle this any longer. She couldn't handle seeing Jiho's eyes on Yewon, couldn't handle Jiho's lips all over Yewon's neck, or Yewon's satisfied eyes as she enjoyed Jiho's kisses, Jiho's hands all over Yewon's waist. Yoobin saw red. She just… couldn't pretend like she was blind. It hurt and she couldn't ignore it. 

 

"I'm going to get some fresh air. It's kinda suffocating here." She said the first excuse that came to her mind and walked away, not really waiting for Dami's reply. She just walked away, not really sure where she was heading. She just pushed aside kids who were making out here and there. 

 

"Hey! Yoobin ah! Can you give me a hand?" Shiah greeted her as she was walking in the hallway, holding a few cans of beers and other drinks in her hands.

 

"Uh… I was…" Yoobin wanted to refuse because all she wanted to do was get away from the party but she couldn't leave Shiah alone with all those drinks. She hated how nice she could be sometimes and how much she ignored herself and her own needs but now it wasn't the time to complain. 

 

"Yeah sure." She answered with a sigh and took a few drinks from Shiah's hands. The two got inside the dorm room again, the place where Yoobin was actually running away from. With Shiah’s help though it was a lot easier for them to get inside,  pass by the many students and head towards the bar. 

 

“I’ll fill those drinks. The rest you can put in the kitchen.” Yoobin hummed in response. She took the drinks and placed them on a shelf with a few more, in the kitchen. She sat down at a chair around the table, alone, and tried to calm down. She took her phone in her hands and decided to play a few games to distract her mind. Dami wasn’t at the bar, where she had last left her. So Yoobin was left alone in the kitchen. Not for too long though… 

 

“Someone has great dancing skills.” She heard Yewon’s voice. The girl stood by the door frame as she stared at Yoobin. She sipped from her drink slowly. 

 

“And someone knows really well how to play with people’s hearts.” Yoobin said, annoyed. 

 

“I didn’t play with anyone’s heart.”

 

“You did.”

 

“Really? With who’s? Yours... perhaps?” Yewon asked her as she walked slowly towards her, her heels making a sound on the floor, no matter how loud the music was. 

 

“No. Of course not. With Jiho’s.” Yoobin said as she sipped from her own drink. Of course she wasn’t going to accept that she was jealous in front of Yewon. It was like admitting you lost in front of the winner! It was so embarrassing! Showing your weakness! 

 

“I wasn’t playing with her heart though. I really love her and I really had fun back there.” Yoobin rolled her eyes annoyed. Yewon placed both of her hands on the table, on Yoobin’s both sides, trapping her inside as she leaned close to Yoobin’s ear. 

 

“You know… you can just admit that you were jealous.” She said, 

 

“I wasn’t.” Yoobin said and shook her head. 

 

“I was though.”

 

“What?”

 

“I was jealous. Really jealous. It’s not an everyday thing to see you dancing like that, neither see you being this worked up over me. So yeah… I was jealous. Jealous that you were with that Dami girl. And I’m not afraid to admit it.” Yewon whispered in Yoobin’s ear this time. Yoobin shuddered. She shook her head and tried to drag her head away from Yewon. 

 

“Can you just leave me alone?” 

 

“No, until you’ll admit that you were jealous.”

 

“Can you stop asking me things? Can you stop playing around? Can you stop-” Yoobin said louder this time as she stood up and turned around to face Yewon but stopped mid sentence. Fortunately the music was too loud for them to be heard and everyone was gathered in the living room or the bedroom. 

 

“What Binnie unnie? What?”

 

“Edging me on. I told you already we can’t be-”

 

“What? Together? Oh please! I’ve heard this milion of times already.”

 

“Then why can’t you stop?”

 

“Because I don’t want to.”

 

“I want to though. I want you to stop bothering me!”

 

“Do you… really want that? Really? Honestly?” 

 

“Yes!” Yoobin yelled as she leaned close