Dear mom.

I keep dreaming about the time I was playing in the orchard and white cherry petals were floating down, some landing on my head. You stood a few meters away, wearing your usual white scarf and you're smiling at me. You looked so beautiful. I must have been around five that time, so I don't know how or why I can remember the memory, but I will keep it with me. It's a lovely one. I hope you still keep the white scarf. Dad gifted you that, didn't he? When I get back, I'll bring daisy over for him.

We are somewhere down to north, staying in an abandonded school. Whoever used to be here must have had a pleasant life. It's a beautiful valley, mom. Months I haven't seen green. Green. There are trees here. Grass. I love it. Shall enjoy it with all I have. I'm happy they haven't brought the war here. All the destroy I've seen along the way has been enough. But they are going to bring it to you. To our hometown. To where I was born. I hate that. General said it would be the last fight, the big one, so I will win it, whatever it takes.

We also met a new team today. Chaeyeon told us we would share everything together, so she wants us to be nice to them. I don't think it's hard, they look friendly.

There's this particular girl in the team I've noticed. I was checking my rifle when they walked in, Chaeyeon called me and I looked up; we locked eyes and none of us could pull away.

She's very gorgeous. I can't stop stealing glances at her.

I have to go now. Hyewon is yelling and she only does it when someone eats her food without permission. A fight is on the way, I need to stop it before anything gets out of hand.

I'll dream more of you and dad.

Your daughter,

Ahn Yujin.

***

"I can't believe you almost killed each other on the second day staying together." A short hair girl muttered in disbelief, one finger pressed against the temple; a frown's visible on her face. In front of the young Sergeant stood two younger soldiers whose faces covered in dust and ashes: the result of whatever they had done in the kitchen that Eunbi had no desire to find out.

Eunbi, now opened her eyes, let out a frustrated sigh when she noticed those two still throwing glares at each other and grunted annoyingly. "Stop that, will you?"

"Sorry Madam." They mumbled, dropping their heads in embrassment. A quick look and no one could ever miss the tips of their ears turning bright red.

Eunbi rubbed the spot above her eyebrows. "I really thought I was going to lose my girls there. The Van hasn't done anything yet, and here you are, doing your best to blow us off."

The soldiers kept silence. Even though their chins were up now, the gazes they held were wavering, not even landing on Eunbi's face.

"Bet a pack of biscuits she's going to forgive them in three minutes." A voice whispering behind the wall which was not far away from the room Eunbi and the soldiers were staying in. Although the distance wasn't short enough for them to hear what's happening inside, they dared not take a step closer. If they did, they'd practically decline the chance to sprint away in case the Sergeant caught them lurking.

"Not fair." The shortest one among them answered. "You've known her for years. You just want more biscuits don't you?"

"No. Just a bet."

"Then why involve your favorite food?"

Someone snickered. "How come everyone in their team knows about this thing between you and biscuits Yuri?" Another girl raised an eyebrow at her friend, not bothering to hide a smirk. Yuri shot her a glance and was about to get back on Chaewon when someone beat her to it.

"Keep it low, you three." Sakura raised her hand, still eyeing the scene carefully. "The regret stage is almost over. Look at her face."

Some of them did. The rest either already knew the expression 'well-someone-has-made-their-bed-and-they-must-sleep-in-it' of Eunbi or just basically got distracted by something.

Or rather, someone.

"No one is going to take the bet?" Yuri mumbled, not pulling her eyes away. Eunbi was visibly softening at Hyewon and Yena, she couldn't let this chance slip away. "Anyone?"

"Just ask Yena to give you some later." Sakura said in an inaudible voice; attempting to hear what the punishment was. Clearly it was useless. "The girl doesn't even know how to say no to you."

Yuri merely pouted, finally giving up on the biscuits. They were too occupied with Eunbi and her lips movement at this moment, but she knew later they would share with her whatever they had for the dinner.

"She's not going to retract that, is she?"

"Retract what, Nako?"

"The 'just act normally' thing."

"Oh she won't." Chaewon shook her head. "She's too soft to do that."

"Wonderful. But where's Chaeyeon?"

"She's cooking. Hyewon's here means someone has to take it over for her." One of two tallest girls spoke up as she tried to ease the pain on her back. Crouching down made her body ache terribly. Every so often she wished she wasn't born this tall, especially when they had to hunch down low all the time. "And why are you so quiet today, Ahn Yujin?"

Standing behind everyone, Yujin startled at the call of Wonyoung, quickly diverted her gaze to the younger girl. Aware of everyone's attention suddenly upon on her, Yujin felt the heat crept up onto her face, not to mention she was also looking at Yujin now.

"What?" She asked, silently cursing as the word came out wasn't firmly as she expected.

"You are suspicious, Ahn Yujin." Wonyoung narrowed her eyes. Yujin detected a glint of mischief in those and half wishing she just mistook it for the light.

She didn't. She saw Wonyoung glanced to the side, and the girl smiled- she knew that smile. It was never something good, and for heaven's sake could Wonyoung be so mischievous sometimes.

"Are you staring at-"

"You are quiet too, Kim Minjoo." Yuri turned to the girl next to Sakura, cutting off Wonyoung by accident. Yujin had done her best to restrain it, she really did, yet the next second she found herself mesmerized at the sight of the girl who could catch her attention easily just by her presence. Yujin wondered if she ever had any idea how beautiful she was. How ethereal she was. Because she got this most lovely vixen-like eyes in this world, and her straight nose, and her soft skin, and then her pink lips-

Feeling as though she'd commited a sin, Yujin moved her gaze away in a panic, blushing. She couldn't believe she just let her desire control her, how did that happen? Yujin bit the inside of and scolded herself. That's disrespect. You can't just go around and stare at people's lips. There's this thing called dignity and at this moment Yujin felt as if she's the most undignified person in this world.

Her mom had raised her better than this. And what about the gentleness of her dad flowing in the veins through her body?

Get a grip on yourself, Ahn Yujin. She clenched her fists tightly, digging her finger-nails into her palm. She needed the pain. She needed to be waken up. Stop thinking about it.

"They are going out." Hitomi whispered urgently, already dashing to the room they slept at. The question of Yuri was left unanswered and hanging there as everyone trying their best to pretend to be immersed in whatever they picked up. When Wonyoung passed by Yujin, who was cleaning her rifle again, she shot the older girl a look and mouthed I know what happened there.

Good for her. Yujin rolled her eyes. It's not like she could tell Wonyoung she was staring at Minjoo all the time and sort of getting lost in her existance. Wonyoung, however, would not stop if she started unless she heard the truth, and Yujin would have to admit what she had done to save her ears, which she wasn't fond of doing in almost every case.

But she doubted Wonyoung knew Minjoo had been stealing glances at her as well. Once or twice their eyes even met and they turned away immediately, both flushing.

Maybe Wonyoung didn't need to know that. She shouldn't know. Not at all.

***

Eunbi had decided having Hyewon and Yena to collect some branchs was a good punishment, and hearing this made Sakura let out a cheerful squeal because had it not been for this, she and Chaewon were going to be the next ones to take care of the branchs.

"Too heavy." Sakura said, leaning against a big rock. Yujin, Yuri and Nako were gathering around her, watching Hyewon and Yena moving onto the forest. Their figures were starting to get smaller and smaller. Yujin hoped they weren't going too far. "I feel like my back breaks every time I carry one."

"You don't carry. You pull them and whine all the way back." Yuri snorted. She had paired up with Sakura yesterday morning when Yena was too tired to get up. "I really thought it was the branch that brought you here, you know?"

Everyone cracked up, execpt Sakura. "Not my fault I was born with this strength." She showed her arms and waved them. "They look like leaves in the wind."

"Sure." Nako nodded. She was using the tone she had whenever she's about to tease someone. "Those leaves almost had me and Hiichan on the floor just because we are also Japanese."

"I was just happy."

"How about being happy too when picking up branchs?" Yuri jumped in.

"Not possible."

Yuri and Nako laughed out loud. There were breezes and sunlight on the grass. It's nice. This felt nice. Yujin smiled. They were laughing together, and two of them Yujin just met yesterday. She wondered if this was a thing you could do with someone you barely know. But they were not strangers. Chaeyeon, Hyewon, Nako and Hitomi made she and Wonyoung burst into laughter the first moment they saluted at them. Maybe you don't have to be with each other for years to laugh together. Maybe you don't have to wait to share the fun in the middle of a war. How many chances did they have to enjoy this?

She looked over Nako's shoulder and caught Minjoo in one room with Chaeyeon. The girl was talking to Chaeyeon while putting down some bowls on the table they moved from a classroom. Wonyoung had found those bowls when she was searching the kitchen and the next thing they knew, the girl had pulled out a tin containing some porks.

"No more biscuits!" She yelled while jumping up and down; successfully grabbed everyone's attention. Some clapped and some cheered with her. Yujin was just standing there, chuckling when she caught a tin Wonyoung tossed her. Next to Yuri, who was asking Wonyoung if the younger girl didn't want biscuits then could she have it was Minjoo, who was placing a hand over . She's trying to hide her smile, and Yujin thought it wasn't necessary. She had a beautiful smile.

Like right now, when Chaeyeon put down a pot in the middle of the table, she suddenly nudged Minjoo and motioned her to turn around. Yujin was sure Chaeyeon had caught she's looking at them, and her mind was telling her to turn away, but she didn't.

It's good that she stayed still. Minjoo did have a beautiful smile, especially when she shyly smiled at Yujin.

***

It was April, and April wasn't that chilly, but at night in here it was. The night shift to mark the end of the second day belonged to Minjoo, Sakura, Chaeyeon and Hitomi. Two of this team and two of this team, Eunbi ordered. The first night it was Eunbi, Yuri, Hyewon and Nako. Yujin would be on the next night shift with Yena, Chaewon and Wonyoung, then rolled back.

"It's really cool." Hyewon groaned when she walked into the kitchen, looking for food. "You guys slept together so it's nothing for you, but out there the temperature dropped even faster than the way I wolfed down the pork."

Yujin pushed towards the older girl a pack of biscuits. Hyewon opened it, took the top one and pushed back to Yujin. "How did you manage to survive then?"

"I went back and borrowed Chaeyeon's blanket."

Each of them got a very thin blanket in one of the bags. It was so thin that they felt it could be used for anything: bandage, starting gear item, anything, except for the thing that's supposed to keep them warm.

"Oh." Yujin took out the canteen and drank. "I had no idea about that."

"Of course. You always sleep like a log."

"How about the other ones?"

"The ones who slept or the ones who stayed awake?"

"The ones who stayed awake."

"I got them too. You don't think I just got for myself, do you?"

Yujin grinned, the dimples on her cheeks appeared instantly. "I was doubting my thoughts as well. Who else did you borrow from?"

Hyewon glared at her for a second before huffing. "Chaewon, Hitomi and Yena. You should ask someone or just take mine during your shift."

Yujin nodded. They continued to enjoy the fresh beauty of dawn until Hyewon almost hit her head against the table when the sleepiness consumed her whole, which got Yujin roll on the floor laughing (literally). Now, surely Eunbi must have informed everyone they should bring along another blanket to keep themselves alive until the next morning, then why when Yujin eyeing a certain girl from inside the room she saw this one had nothing with her except her own blanket?

"Looking at her again?" Someone said behind her and based on their tone, Yujin was certain they were grinning.

Yujin kept her poker face as Yena settled next to her. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"You do. If you really don't, you wouldn't react like that."

Yujin rolled her eyes yet said nothing. Yena was this chaotic and loud girl who she got to know by a series of things that she couldn't comprehend how it happened, but maybe stop someone from being killed by Hyewon was a blessing in disguise. Yena had showed her a weird drawing on a wall which Yujin had to subtly frown at the sight, then the frown quickly turned into a horror look when Yena proudly said it was Yujin. One thing lead to another and at the end of the day Yujin had already paired up with Yena to tease Chaewon.

Yena's awesome, really awesome. Perhaps saving her life once was a good start for both of them. Not that she hoped someone else in the future would be out of their mind til the point they decided to touch Hyewon's food. No, she had had enough of that.

Especially if that person had the tendency to rib her non-stop about this girl she noticed in the team.

"I won't say anything about that." Yujin muttered, still wouldn't meet Yena's eyes. "But why she only wears her blanket? I thought Eunbi told everyone how chilly it can be at night already?"

"She did, but Minjoo refused to take anyone's. She said she could handle it, and we needed ours to sleep well at night. What a silly angel."

"Silly angel?" Yujin turned to the older girl, raising an eyebrow at her.

"She can't bear the weather. When tomorrow comes, she will be sick for sure."

"Then why no one did anything?" Yujin hastily pulled out her blanket from one of her bags, trying to keep her voice calm.

"We did. They sent me here on the behalf of them."

Yujin stopped immediately. "What?"

"Well." Yena got this expression on her face that told Yujin nothing good was going to happen. "We think there's a chance Minjoo will accept the help if someone brings it to her. I mean, literally."

Yujin blinked. She didn't know if she liked where this was going or not. "So?"

"Everyone has been on the floor by the time we are talking." Yena gestured, not bothering to hide the backward steps she's taking. Yujin widened her eyes.

"What are you do-"

"Oh did you hear that? I think Yuri is calling me."

"No she didn't call you. No one called you what are you-"

And it happened really, really fast. When Yujin could finally function back, the only thing that's left with her in the night was Yena's yelling "Good luck!" in distance and her own half-pull-out blanket.

Yujin heaved a sigh and looked outside. Minjoo had her arms across the chest, sitting all hunched up next to a tree. She looked so small that Yujin could put her into a pocket and protect her for the rest of this life.

No es bueno, Yujin. No es bueno.

***

Minjoo had jumped up so hard when someone cleared the throat behind her. She turned around, which made her blanket slip down, lifted her rifle on instinct and aimed it towards Yujin, who immediately raised her hands up.

"Sorry, sorry." Yujin smiled at Minjoo apologetically, waving the blanket in one hand. "I'm just here for this."

The puzzlement expression on Minjoo's face was quickly replaced by enlightenment. "Oh no." She said, lowering her rifle. "No I can't."

Yujin noticed her stiff movement. "Yes you can."

"No I can't. You need it to sleep."

"I don't." Yujin shook her head. The wind was getting a bit stronger tonight. "It's warm inside the room, and Hyewon doesn't really let me sleep in peace."

Minjoo smiled. Yujin had a hunch that Minjoo had witnessed this somehow, but how? Hyewon took the first shift, and today she did have a quick nap but she remembered the moment she shut her eyes closed and when she opened them again, she was all alone.

Her sleeping habit definitely wasn't making it any easier for her. If she slept, then she slept, and Yujin doubted everyone screaming at her at the same time could actually wake her up.

Yujin let out a soft sigh and came closer to Minjoo. The shorter girl's gaze was still fixed at her, unwavering.

She gently got down on one knee, held the blanket in front of her and locked eyes with Minjoo.

Brown. Light. The stars and the moon. Her heart was thumping loudly in her chest, and Yujin felt something was raising and raising inside her. There wasn't a brim, but any moment now there's a chance she would explode as if she's about to reach an invisible limit. She might burst into every colors, like fireworks, and she'd never felt this way before.

After a moment of silence, she uttered. "So."

Minjoo looked at her softly. So.

"Will you please take this?"

Minjoo moved her eyes between Yujin and her blanket.

"Please, I insist."

Yujin wasn't aware of the slight yet heavy desperation in her voice.

Minjoo sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds. There's a pause.

"Promise me you will be alright."

Yujin blinked. Did she hear it right...?

"Promise me you will stay warm until tomorrow." Minjoo opened her eyes, staring straight at Yujin.

Flustered, the taller girl nodded. "Yes. Yes, I promise."

Slowly, Minjoo held out her hands together before Yujin as the taller one placed her blanket into the opened palms.

She got small hands, Yujin noted to herself. Small hands, slender fingers. Looked very soft and perhaps would feel like the clouds if she ever got a chance to touch, or even, hold them.

Yujin didn't know why she was thinking about this.

Minjoo was caressing the piece of clothing with a careful manner. Yujin thought she saw something flicker across Minjoo's face but she wasn't fast enough to catch it. Minjoo and emotions. She wondered how Minjoo expressed her feelings, because she got this feeling Minjoo must be someone who was good at loving others.

Yujin decided she should stand up now. The longer she stayed, the more awkward both of them would become, and she definitely didn't need that. However, Minjoo wasn't wearing it and although she had no clue why, she wanted to be here and see with her own eyes Minjoo wear it.

As if being able to read her mind, Minjoo arranged the blankets: Yujin's first, then the one belonged to Minjoo covering it on her shoulders with a tender touch and even using the fingers to pull them closer to her body. When she finished everything, Minjoo lifted her head and smiled at Yujin, who could only took in a deep breath at the sight.

A part of Yujin was melting like candy under sunlight. She didn't know how long she had been smiling at Minjoo before the girl caught her.

"Warm?" Yujin asked. Minjoo gave her a grateful nod, but there's more than that.

Minjoo looked like a little girl recieving a gift. Well, she was indeed young, but this was different. Whatever it was, Yujin's happy she had done it.

A candy under sunlight. Yujin was a candy under sunlight.

"Thank you." Minjoo whispered, the light on her face remained the same, if not brighter.

"It's nothing." Yujin found herself whispering back. "Then, I'll go now, alright?"

Minjoo nodded again.

When she's about to enter the room, Yujin turned her head around. Minjoo was still staring at her from the spot. Without any thoughts in her head, Yujin beamed at Minjoo, and she chuckled when the girl pulled the blanket up to hide a part of her face, shyly looked away.

She knew the cornors of Minjoo's lips were curling up.

That night, before she drifted off, Minjoo's dimples didn't leave her mind.

***

Hyewon had been hugging her all night, that Yujin was sure of. The older girl even latched onto her arm and wouldn't let go when Yujin was preparing her, well, let just say her bed, if we consider the floor as her mattress and her arm as her pillow.

So imagine how surprised she was when she woke up this morning with the warm turned out to be her blanket on top of her. Someone had covered her up, and Hyewon was nowhere to be seen.

Slowly pushing herself up, Yujin yawned while rubbing her eyes. Today the sleepiness left her unusually fast, perhaps it's because the unusual thing that only happened to her once in a blue moon. She held the blanket closer and sniffed. The scent of lavender. Minjoo's scent.

Yujin smiled, hugging the blanket agaisnt her chest and took a full lungs of the new scent.

How Minjoo had spent the night out there, in the chilly weather? She wondered. She hoped Minjoo hadn't caught a cold, and maybe she's also asking herself whether Minjoo put this on her or someone else did, and if it was Minjoo then how Yujin appeared that time?

***

Alright. Alright.

The good news was Minjoo actually walked into the room, kneeled next to Yujin and carefully covered her.

"She's got this atmosphere around her." Hyewon moved a hand to demonstrate; was still full of biscuits. Yujin started questioning where the older one had all those biscuits. "As if she's afraid to break you. Seeing her like that made me believe for a fleeting second you were someone who's ready to say goodbye to this world."

"You are exaggerating."

"No I'm not."

"You were behind her."

"Feeling doesn't require you to look. It is called feeling for a reason, Yujin."

Yujin huffed. The second battle she lost in three days.

"How did she look?"

Hyewon stopped chewing, giving her a blank look. "Pretty?"

"No." Yujin placed a hand on her forehead, sighing out. "I mean, yes. She's pretty, but I was asking about her health. Did she appear pale or something like that?"

The moment Yujin finished, she instantly realized she had admitted Minjoo's beauty, and she bet every supplies she had Hyewon was grinning at her, so she kept her hand on her forehead to avoid Hyewon's eyes.

"I see." Hyewon spoke in a sing-song with the last e very long. Yujin had dug her own grave. Was there any way to go back to ten minutes ago? "Well she looked fine. A little bit pink on the cheeks when I got out leaving you guys together, but other than that, she's fine."

So she's good. But Yujin wasn't. Not really.

Because the bad news was she had to witness Hyewon and Chaeyeon describe how she looked like when Minjoo went in to find her.

"About time, my friend!" Hyewon bursted into laughing, pointing to Yujin. "Our little kid was asking about her appearance when the love of her life found her."

Yujin wanted to put up a good fight for her own justice, she really did. However, all that came out from her was a weak defence. "No she's not the love of my life."

Chaeyeon's ignoring her, so was Hyewon. "You had an arm up here." Chaeyeon swung an arm in the air. "Then your neck was like this, and your mouth's opened, and your hair was all over the place."

Yujin left in time before a zombie Chaeyeon running to her.

***

Yujin and Wonyoung entered the kitchen and immediately spotted a map lie on the table they usually ate at. Chaeyeon and Eunbi were discussing about something and when they saw the youngest girls about to salut them, both waved their hands. "Just act normally." Chaeyeon said with a nod from Eunbi.

The rest was gathering around the table, looking down at the map and studied. Yujin and Wonyoung stepped closer to get a better view at the thing everyone was focused on.

It was the map of the place they were staying at temporarily.

"As you know." Eunbi started. She and Chaeyeon had come to an agreement. "General sent word that we would stay still and recover until the time come. We are lucky none of us had any serious wound. A few scratchs here and there, but we are going to stay alive just fine. The problem now is food. We don't have enough porks and biscuits for three weeks until we move to the 1th Yanys. Therefore, we need to have some uses."

"Here." Chaeyeon pointed to a spot on the map. They all followed her finger. "This is a river. Three miles south east, the opposite of the forest. One team go and try their luck with the fishes, and one team go and hoard everything edible in the forest."

"We are gonna get some taste of trees and dirts today." Eunbi said, folding the map and put it away. Everyone in her original team reached to their helmets and rifles, the rest in the room looked to Chaeyeon.

"Well." The Sergeant shrugged. "I miss water. Besides, Hyewon can get all the fishes there."

Hyewon merely nodded, patting her webbing. There's this kind of fire in her eyes that Yujin found herself looking forward to the next meal.

"That's settled." Eunbi put on her helmet and scanned Chaeyeon's team. "Though the fishes give me fantasy, I fancy seeing everyone come back here safely."

"We will be fine." Chaeyeon chuckled while Hyewon giving her a thumb up. "You too."

In the middle of the talk, it occurred to Yujin that someone was watching her, so she moved her head to whichever direction her gut told her to.

Oh.

She blinked and took in a deep breath.

Minjoo was looking at her.

When the shorter girl met her gaze, a small smile immediately spread across Minjoo's face and Yujin wondered if everyone would look that good when they smile. Her mom told her everybody was the most beautiful when they truly smiled, and she thought about how Wonyoung smiled and how her mom smiled. They were lovely, but Minjoo got this different.

Maybe it's her who found it different.

She stared at Minjoo for a while, and then, she nodded.

The dimples on Minjoo's cheeks were visible instantly. Minjoo nodded back, softly.

Yujin heard Chaeyeon's footsteps heading to the door. She shot a last glance to Minjoo and followed Chaeyeon.

Maybe she would tell Hyewon that sometimes you could look, but you didn't need to say. All you have to do is to give them a look, not a quick meaningless look, but the kind that be able to let the other know a part of you is worried and you hope they will be careful. No words could do better than that, and so feelings worked that way as well.

The sky looked so nice as they set off to the river. Who could she ask about this thing in her heart too?

***

"No way."

"Yes way." Wonyoung, who got her pant legs and her sleeves rolled up, standing in the river and pointed to Yujin. "You are looking at the one who used to go around and tell everyone in our hometown I was her small sister and she's the big big one."

"Well, I am." Yujin squinted her eyes, moving forward slowly. Was that a fish she saw?

"You are just a year older than me."

"Still."

"And you told my dad there's a huge difference between being nine and being ten."

Chaeyeon cracked up. "She did?"

"Yes."

"Do you know," Yujin straightened her back, wiping her face in disappointment. Stupid branch. "she used to go after me and ask me every five second if I wanted to eat something or if I could play with her?"

"Then what happened?" Chaeyeon asked.

"One day, my mom was making this delicious rice cake for both of us." Wonyoung squealed at this. "And I was out to buy something. When I got home, I only saw her in the kitchen with the half eaten rice cake, so I approached her and asked if I could have a bite. You know what she said? 'Don't eat mine. You've got yours.' Where's the little girl who used to share everything with me?"

"I still share things with you." Wonyoung pouted. "Just not your mom's rice cake."

"Make sense." Yujin came closer to Nako, who was standing on the river bank. "How many fishes we have had until now?"

The shortest one looked into the pot. "Three."

Yujin turned to Chaeyeon. "Do you think this is enough?"

"Oh don't worry." She waved a hand. "We'll be fine. I haven't told you guys about this time Hyewon and I made a bet about those rats in the dugout right?"

"No you haven't." Nako hesitantly shook her head. "Don't tell me it has something to do with her ability to catch fish."

Chaeyeon laughed out loud. Everyone watched her and joined. When you heard Chaeyeon's laughter, it's impossible for you to keep a straight face. "Too bad it does."

"My gut feeling is telling me I should ask about Yujin's mom's rice cake first." Nako muttered.

"I'm telling you, it tastes like heaven." Wonyoung said.

"What tastes like heaven?" Hyewon asked. She and Hitomi emerged into the view, her face lit up while carrying another pot. "Is it food?"

"It is." Wonyoung held the pot Hyewon gave her. "Oh my- How did you got all of those?"

"You don't want to know." Hitomi instantly ended the topic before any words had a chance to get out. Yujin, Wonyoung and Nako turned to Chaeyeon, who was grinning at them.

"Rice cake, Yujin." Nako urged her. Wonyoung was counting all the fishes. One, two, three... eight, nine, ten. They stared at the fishes, then all gave Hyewon a thumb up.

"I don't want to know how you caught them." Nako said. "But thank you."

"I don't want to talk about it either." Hyewon washed her hands before getting on the river bank with the rest. Chayeon handed her her rifle. "I'm only in the mood for rice cake story."

"Do you think your mom could bake us some?" Hyewon began after Yujin told them how it started and how her mom filled the kitchen with the lovely smell. During the talk, Wonyoung had given her approval with her expression. "Like we win, and then we have food. Great combination, isn't it?"

Yujin smiled. They had learnt it's Yujin and Wonyoung's hometown where the big fight was going to happen, and they never let the girls feel alone with the thoughts.

"Sure." She nodded.

"You reckon she's up to baking for six more people?" Chaeyeon said.

From the cornor of her eye, Yujin saw Wonyoung give her a smirk, and it was one of those smirks that warned Yujin she's not going to like whatever idea Wonyoung had in her mind. But the younger girl just kept walking, and Yujin heard herself say.

"Of course. I think she would love to."

***

It would not be a problem to cook for six more people, and it would not be a problem if Eunbi's team visit her house. If that so, she should not be bothered by Wonyoung's smirk, but she did, and she's aware the moment Eunbi's team walked through the door and greeted her mom, her mom would also knew what the matter was.

Yujin took in a deep breath and let all out slowly.

It's in her head, the image of everyone in her house, laughing and chatting and her mom came with the smell of rice cake on her clothes and kissed on every cheeks. She couldn't help smiling at the thought of her two favourite people met each other. Would her mom know before she told her? Maybe. Mom got this weird instinct in her. Yujin could barely hide any secret from her, not that they had any untold stories. They always sat down and talked: it wasn't a common mother-daughter relationship, but she wouldn't trade it for the world.

Maybe it's about the rice cake. Yujin suddenly wondered whether she liked rice cake or not. She must do. Everyone did. Or maybe not, but her gut feeling told her Minjoo was like her.

What should she do if the one she had her eyes on didn't like rice cake?

Why was she so working up about Minjoo and rice cake?

You are so weird, Ahn Yujin.

***

Minjoo had given Yujin her blanket.

It's fine.

No it wasn't fine at all.

She had been standing here, the old place she gave Minjoo her blanket, giggling while holding her rifle for a long time now. She knew she got this smile on her face, and she didn't need anyone to tell her: she must look like a fool.

Part of her thought this must have had something to do with Hyewon and Wonyoung, because after Minjoo left she instantly ran into the girl she was looking for earlier, and she could only stare at Hyewon's blanket on Wonyoung's shoulders.

She shouldn't ask. If she did, that would be the second grave she dug for herself.

Yujin caressed the blanket absently, the lavender scent lingering around her nose.

Soft features, pink cheeks, shy smile.

Yujin ran her fingers through her hair. She's turning crazy.

Crazy, crazy, crazy. She shouldn't think about Minjoo this much. But she did. And she thought about how she had stared longingly after Minjoo when the girl walked away.

She put a hand into her right pocket and pulled out a fistful of berries. Sakura had stepped into the room right when Yujin's about to leave. The Japanese girl eyed the berries on her hand and asked. "Minjoo gave you?"

"Yeah."

Sakura appeared to know something that she didn't. "So that's why she didn't let any of us touch them."

Yujin blinked. A beat, and it seemed like Sakura also recognized whose the clothing she was holding was.

"Well then, be careful. See you tomorrow."

Yujin didn't want to admit it, but the look Sakura gave her was very similar to the look Wonyoung and Yena and Hyewon sent her sometimes.

She felt like they got this important information that she had no idea about, but she also got this one that was hidden from everyone. One plus one was two, if they combined those would she had the answer? Because this feeling inside her chest could be anything in this world and she just kept thinking over and over about Minjoo without having any solid thing to hold on. Math gave you the only answer, but life didn't. Feelings wouldn't. She didn't know how feelings worked, but she knew which way feelings would not work.

Three days. Three days. Maybe now was the start of the fourth, but didn't people spend a lot of time to like someone? Why Minjoo kept pulling her into something she had no control over and if this was just the beginning, how intense she could be in the future?

Yujin popped a berry into . Her dad and her mom were in love. If only she knew how they had fallen in love, then maybe things would be easier for her.

***

Except the time she teased Yujin, Yena was cool, like really really cool. And Chaewon too, although she was either their victim or their partner in annoying someone else. There's also Yuri, who often pat her head or scolded Yena when her lover 'bullied' Yujin; Eunbi, who usually kissed her on the hair (Yujin had asked Wonyoung could she kiss someone she just met and the younger said that was an Eunbi thing. That's how the Sergeant showed her love and when Wonyoung asked back was Yujin hated it she could only keep quiet. She didn't.) and finally Sakura who's mysterious but always saved her in unexpected occasions. Yujin could have hit her head against the wall twice and injured her right shoulder once had it not been for Sakura. Wonyoung told her that was also a Sakura thing, and Yujin felt at this rate everyone got their own thing in showing care to each other. Then what was her thing?

What was Minjoo thing?

God, she's about to pack all Minjoo-related thoughts and shove them outside. Everyone in Eunbi's team cared about her, that's what mattered. What kept her moving forward better than the love from the soldiers next to her?

"Rice cake." Yena said. She was leaning against the big rock with her helmet on her chest. "Definitely your mom's rice cake."

Yujin rolled her eyes. Since the day Hyewon rambled about rice cake with the help from Wonyoung, everybody came to obsess with a food a week ago they didn't even know it existed.

"You never ate it."

"That's why it motivates me, mate."

"Who said you could eat?"

"Wonyoung."

Yujin turned to the youngest. "Are you betraying me?"

"Depends. Will you let me have the first one when we get back home?"

"For as long as I can remember whenever you were at out place you always had the first one."

Wonyoung stopped braiding the grass together and pursed her lips. "That doesn't sound like a deal."

"Who's talking about a deal here?"

"Yena."

"That escalates pretty fast. Wish you and Minjoo could be the same." Yena winked at Yujin, smoothly changing the topic.

"Unprovoked. And this is about you and my rice cake."

"Your mom bakes those, I think the ownership must belong to her."

"I am her daughter. I have every rights to claim what's mine."

"But not Minjoo." Yena uttered and quickly pushed her upper body up while cutting Yujin off before she had a chance to wrestle Yena down. "Do you think she could adopt another daughter Wonyoung?"

Wonyoung lifted her head. She was wearing her usual expression when she did some quick thinking and at the moment Yena's face was brightest with hope, she shook her head. "Nope."

"What?" Yena fell back and almost crashed into Yujin, who was sitting besides her. "Why?"

"As much as I want to say I am totally not ready to have you in her kitchen, I love her too much that I have to say the truth: she might wish to adopt all of you."

"Wonderful." Someone entered the conversation, which was the least thing they expected because, well, having this person in the kitchen made ten Yenas become a lovely scene they could willingly endure.

A silence, and then, "When did you wake up, Hyewon?"

"Around Minjoo's part." Hyewon let go of Yujin's hand and sat up, strechting her arms above her head. As Yena groaned something about Hyewon's going to hoard everything before anyone could even blink, Hyewon took out her canteen and drank. "That reminds me Yujin, why haven't you talked to her once?"

The first thing Yujin came up with was: oh hell no. Oh no, not this one. She couldn't give them an answer like because I am a coward and being near her makes me want to scream, so I just shut my mouth and try my best to survive the awkward silence. It wasn't like she didn't want to, it's more of she didn't know how to do it. Start the conversation. Not everyone was gifted to be a talker as Yena. And why among everything she had to choose this part to wake up?

"Who?" Yujin immediately wanted to smack her forehead the moment the word escaped her. As she expected, Wonyoung snorted at her obvious effort to avoid going further into the topic but hey, at least the girl decline the chance to humiliate Yujin.

"Who else?" Hyewon gave Yujin a look that made the younger one think she had another head she wasn't aware of.

Yena raised her hand as though she was in the class. "Me!" Then she pulled Yujin into a hug. "You haven't talked to me once, Yujin."

"This is the reason why." Yujin struggled wildly in Yena's hold. Who the heck in this world called this a hug because she could clearly see Yena's intention in crushing her here.

"A bunch of chaotic kids."

They stopped whatever they were doing to find Eunbi standing with an amusing smile in front of them. Noticing Yena being distracted, Yujin seized this opportunity and swiftly pushed Yena aside.

"That hurts." Yena groaned, rubbing her . "And please don't say it as though you didn't put a prank upon me last night."

Eunbi shrugged, removed the helmet and ran her fingers through her hair. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You are grinning."

"So? I was just happy to see you all."

Of course they didn't believe it. Not the happy part, but the reason part. Yujin was so sure that grin had little to do with being delighted to see them. If it meant something, that would be the call of devil.

"Right, you look so happy." Yena folded her arms. The only one who kept fighting over a meaningless battle, that's Yena. "Happy seeing me suffering."

Eunbi pouted. She dived down and almost knocked Yena out with her weight. Yujin believed this was the say of karma.

"Don't say it like that." Eunbi kissed Yena's head softly. Eunbi thing. "Although it gave me a good laugh yesterday, I still love you and badly need you to go with me tonight."

Yujin remembered Eunbi had mentioned this two days ago. "Coming to the 6th Witems, Eunbi?"

"Yep."

"When will you two get back?"

"If we keep moving, we can make it before the next Wednesday's dawn."

"Take your time. Don't rush."

"Are you worried little puppy?" Eunbi released Yena and quickly stopped Yujin from escaping by grabbing her tunic. She placed a kiss on Yujin's cheek and laughed when Yujin protested weakly. "We will come back safe and sound, don't worry. By the time I get back, you better make a move on one of my girls already."

"Not you too." Yujin muttered. Hyewon and Yena were throwing their heads back, laughing loudly. Minutes ago she was thinking about how lucky she was to receive all the love and care, now they're ganging up on her.

But then, being in this somehow made this world stop. She peeked at Wonyoung and saw the girl trying her best not to go into hysterics at the sight of Yena hitting her head against the rock. Hyewon, however, didn't. She was guffawing even harder til the point there were tears in her eyes. She noticed despite the struggle start, Yena and Hyewon seemed to be pretty close. That was a good thing. And then she turned to Eunbi, who was wrapping her in a nice and warm hug she never knew she needed it this much, registing all of this.

For a moment, she was unsure where they were and who they were.

What would be happening now if there wasn't this war? But there was a war, and they're now all soldiers instead of students. What ifs should not appear at this moment. This was a war. They were soldiers. They could not go back to the past no matter how beautiful it was, and tomorrow seemed to be out of their reach.

Wonyoung had sensed something. Growing up together since kids gave them this ability: if one felt like falling down, the other would instanly got this weird feeling and would be bothered until they found a way to solve it. Part of her wanted to ask Wonyoung to stop studying her with those glances, but she didn't. Instead, she gave Wonyoung a subtle look. Later.

This moment was too beautiful to be stained by the storm and the rain. Live, Ahn Yujin.

Live.

***

"What was that?"

She knew Wonyoung had chosen carefully the words since a sad Yujin was a sensitive and vulnerable Yujin, but everytime they had a serious talk they both agreed going straight into the topic was a good choice.

Yujin let out a sigh and looked at the blue sky. It hadn't rained since they arrived here. How would this school looked like under the rain? Was it beautiful? Or was it sorrowful?

She remembered this tradition with her mom: Whenever the sky poured down its tears, her mom would take out two mackintoshs which she always folded neatly. Yujin hardly stayed still when her mom helped her with her own. She always sang some songs, or laughed, or giggled and clapped in the pure joy the rain brought her. Her mom never scolded her for everything she did when she was a kid. There was so much patience as well as love living inside her mother.

She remembered holding her mom's hand while pulling her out. She would jump in every puddles they saw and counted them outloud. One! Two! Sometimes her mom would join her, otherwise she just stood and watched her fondly.

The rains in her memory were always happy. Why the rain at this moment seemed to break something she couldn't touch and couldn't see?

"I was sad."

Wonyoung picked up a small rock and played with it while waiting for Yujin to continue.

"I am sad. I can't push them away."

"What are they?"

"What ifs."

A heavy silence engulfed them. Although Wonyoung had hid it well, Yujin still caught the younger girl heaved a sigh and dropped her shoulders.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Wonyoung shook her head. Her voice softened. "I think about it too."

"What did you think about?"

"Just stuffs. Sometimes I imagine who I would become without this war and what it's like to join an university."

"We can still apply when we get back."

Wonyoung nodded, though there's this sad look on her face.

"What about you?"

"I think about how we would meet if we were living in peace. All of us."

Wonyoung leaned her back against a tree and threw the rock slightly. With sunlight on her face and cool breeze dancing on her hair, Wonyoung looked exceptional young. So youthful.

She just turned nineteen last year, Yujin observed the younger girl. How could she forget this?

"That would be nice." Wonyoung muttered, still immersed in the picture of them. "Really nice."

"Yeah."

Without a word, they both dropped the topic. They didn't need any advices what to do, they only needed someone to understand and listen to them.

"Can I ask you something, Yujin?"

"Sure."

"Does this have anything to do with Minjoo?"

Taken aback, Yujin looked at her. "No."

"Then can you tell me why you refuse to talk to her?"

Seeing that Yujin showed no negative hints on her face, Wonyoung pushed on. "I mean, it's been the second time she gave you and you gave her the blanket, and she always brings you the berries and you start pocketing some for her as well. You guys have this thing going on." Wonyoung moved a hand back and forth. "What is stopping you, Yujin?"

What was stopping her? "I don't know how to start a conversation."

It's a lie. They both knew it. "Yujin." Wonyoung called her with so much kindness that she just wanted to bury her head in the younger's arms and cried. It's good that they were alone. Eunbi and Yena had gone to discuss abour tonight, and Hyewon had left to fill her canteen."You know you can tell me, right?"

Of course. Yujin nodded. Together with her mom, Wonyoung had always been her family. She could count Wonyoung's parents in, but they were different. "I know." She paused. "It's just... She's so different."

"Good kind or bad kind?"

"I don't know. Maybe both. I can't stop thinking about her. It's like entering another universe, you know?"

'"Another universe?"

Yujin missed the lack of curiosity in Wonyoung's voice and failed to detect the indulgence. "Yeah. New world, new feelings. Nothing I know seem to work there. Everything is overwhelmed. It's so intense."

"Are you scared of her?"

"What? No."

Wonyoung gave her one of her looks.

"Maybe a bit. Alright, a lot. But not of her. She's nice. She's good. I think I'm the problem here."

"How come?"

"I think too much, I reckon."

"How much is too much?"

Yujin absently stared at the green land. She's in her head. She wasn't conscious she had been in her head a lot these days. "Til the point you are scared of the future."

"The future?"

"I might hurt her and end up hurting both of us."

"Oh Yujin." Wonyoung scooted closer to her. "Do you know what look you got on your face when you two first met?"

That snapped Yujin out of her thoughts. "You noticed?"

"How couldn't I? You guys really forgot about us all at that moment."

"That's..." Yujin scratched her nape. "... really embarrassing."

Wonyoung smiled. "Do you know, Yujin?"

"No. Maybe it's you who forget. I can't look at my own face without a mirror."

"Don't be a bastard." Wonyoung hit her arm. She's going to pull Yujin back in the next sentence. "And I'm serious."

"Then tell me. What kind of look I had on my face that time?"

She smiled again, but it's a different one. Wonyoung was letting her see a part of her real soul, and Wonyoung wasn't someone who preferred being seen like that. "It's the look your mom has whenever she talks about your dad."

What was that? Yujin felt as though she was running wildly in the darkness with the crack sound around her. Her mom? Her dad? Was this the piece of information they had? But only Wonyoung had grown up with her. "My... mom?"

"Yeah. Your mom. My parents have that one too."

Something had stopped, but something was starting to spin, and it's getting faster and faster. She couldn't catch up with it. "Do you mean...?"

Wonyoung shook her head. "That, you have to figure out yourself, Yujin."

Figure out? Nothing she knew seemed to work in this universe. Why couldn't she bring the rains in her memory to the new world and why finding the new path was so scary? "Alright."

Wonyoung moved to face her. She put her hands on Yujin's shoulders and stared straight into Yujin's eyes. "All you need now is some courage, and I can give you that."

"How?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Yeah."

"How would you do that?"

"I won't leave. I will stay with you through everything and every pains you will encounter in the future."

Yujin felt something in . "Really?"

Wonyoung nodded. "Until the day the sun swallows this earth."

Maybe she forgot how young Wonyoung was because Wonyoung had alwasy been so dependable. Why this girl knew everything and every words that needed to say? What would she do without this mind and this heart in front of her? "Actually there's one more thing I've been thinking about a lot."

"What's that?"

"You."

The table had turned. "Me?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know what to do. For a long time it's just us," she heard herself saying, but she couldn't control one damn thing that escaped from , "and now it won't be just us. And I don't know what to do. I don't want to change anything, but it's inevitable. But just because it's inevitable doesn't mean I like it." She's aware she didn't make any sense at this moment, but she needed Wonyoung to know. Wonyoung would understand, she would find a way to, that's how they had stayed together for years. "I hate it. You are both important to me. I don't want to do some stupid things that might hurt any of you. I hate this I hate this I hate this."

Wonyoung was looking at her with enough love to drown her in. "Ahn Yujin." She cupped Yujin's cheeks and gently lifted her head up. Yujin had dropped her head somewhere along the confession. "You are the sweetest person in this world, do you know that?"

That's not true. Yujin felt a part of her trembling, yet she didn't say a word.

"Love is not a competition. It's just simply you will give more, but you'll also receive more. You are not that type of person, and you will never be."

Then she kissed Yujin on her cheek. Eunbi thing. Why?

"I love you to every pieces, Ahn Yujin."

After she cried until every parts of her could not cry anymore when Wonyoung left to give her some space, she finally realized that everything she just went through, all the words, all the looks, all the touchs, everything, was solely Wonyoung thing.

***

Her favourite story whenever her mom brought out the freshly baked rice cakes was the journey of her mother and her father towards the greatest thing in this world: love. Her mom would always have this smile on her face when she was asked and Yujin as a kid would just think her mom was very happy at the talk about her dad, but this present Yujin believed that's her mother in her early twenties she saw in the memory.

Her mom and that girl living inside her, Yujin rewinded the tape in her head, a girl on her first date. She looked so beautiful. So, so beautiful. She wondered how her dad would look.

"He got me on the first look." That's the beginning of the song, or the poem. "He was just talking and laughing, and I..." Her mom paused, then shook her head affetionately. "A very beautiful man indeed."

"Did you love him a lot that time, mom?"

She bent down a bit to look into the eyes of the eight-year-old Yujin. "I did, Yujin."

"Do you still love him, mom?"

She caressed Yujin's face and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I do, Yujin."

"Then, how about him, mom?"

Yujin undid her pocket and took out the small tobacco tin she got from her dad. She stared at it, then she slowly ran her finger along the cold material.

The grass and the leaves were swaying in the cool wind. As the sunlight softly kissed her face, she remembered how young Wonyoung looked and she also stared at it like a photograph. She then put it away carefully and pulled out her mother's one. They both looked so young. Wonyoung and her mother. She wasn't alone. That word was never for her.

With a tender touch, she opened the tin and looked at the inside. What the tin contained. What she brought together. What she kept with her.

Every noises were gradually fading away as Wonyoung's voice back to her.

Yujin closed the tin and put it back in her pocket. She poured water from the canteen to one hand and gently slapped it on her face.

The skin on her face felt weird, must be because of the dry tears.

She stood up and wiped off the dust on her clothes. She had this idea about what to do next, and she's going to do it.

She's going to enter the new universe with a heart that had been loved so much by people she deeply cared about.

She's going to find a way in this new world, and even though she couldn't bring the rains with her, she knew they'd stayed somewhere inside her, safely.

She found herself walking to the destination in her mind and a part of her was dizzy. She couldn't bring herself to think about what was happening around her. This world wasn't moving. This world wasn't where she belonged to. It's either the previous world, or the next world I am aiming at, the world that has you.

The next thing she knew, she was standing and looking at her small back in the middle of the green land. It seems too big for you, so I hope with my presence in your life now, the sky will be closer to our reaches.

"When I looked at him, he looked at me. When I loved him, he loved me." Her mom smiled, and she wished she could frame that smile so it would never leave this world, no matter what world she was in. "And even now when I love him, he still loves me."

I'm going to find what my thing is, and I'm going to find what your thing is, Minjoo.

"Hi."

Minjoo turned around, her gaze instantly found Yujin's eyes.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

Minjoo looked so lovely when she was wearing this confused expression, but it could not beat the way her face lit up and how she struggled to suppress the corners of her lips curling up. "No." She hesitantly pat the place besideds her. "I don't mind."

"Great." Yujin settled next to Minjoo with a wild smile. "I'm Yujin."

Minjoo was looking at her with the new universe she's ready to walk in.

"Hi Yujin." She half whispered, as though she treasured every letters she tasted on the tip of her tounge. Perhaps she did. Everything was possible when Minjoo was giving her this incredible soft look.

"I'm Minjoo."