"They have finally given up on their game?"

"Wonyoung said so." Yuri patiently combed Yena's bangs before putting away her knife. She leaned back a bit to get a wider view, then nodded in approval. Her skill had improved much better with two years being Yena's personal barber. Six months of the first year, Yena had endured bravely all the teasing looks about her bangs' crooked lines. "We can check on them after this."

"Finally." Yena exclaimed. "I was rooting for them as hell."

"Language, Yena." Yuri wiped off the debris on Yena's cheeks, though the force she applied was stronger than needed. "Why do you like having bangs so much?"

"Because I like seeing you pouting but still trying to sculp my hair carefully."

"So you just want to torture me."

"My apology."

"Not accepted."

"Why?"

"Tell me the real reason and I'll consider."

"Bloody hell, you got me there." Yena held up her hands and sighed. "Fine, let me tell you a story to explain why. Years ago, when I was still a little kid-"

Yuri immediately put a hand over Yena's mouth. "Sometimes I wish I had a tape with me."

"That's mean."

"If only you didn't talk nonsense"

"You haven't heard the full story, how could you know?"

"Because I'm your lover, Choi Yena." Yuri slipped her hand down to Yena's chest and slapped it. "Better luck next time."

Yena laughed, and the small room joyfully echoed back the sound. When the laughter died down, she smiled softly at Yuri. "Come here."

Yuri scooted closer until Yena's warmth engulfed her.

"I'm not really good with this romantic stuff."

"Yeah you aren't."

Yena wasn't able to force a word to come out. "Woah."

"But that's a part of you." Yuri grinned and kissed her cheek. "And I like all of you."

"And people say that I'm the smooth one." Yena ran her fingers along Yuri's arm and enjoyed the goose bumps on it. "You fooled all of them."

"Yeah."

There's a silence, and Yena wasn't fond of silence much. Only two posibilities existed when this happened: one made Yuri amused, and one would surely break her heart. The atmostphere at this moment wasn't leading her to the second one.

"It's because of you." Yena managed after a while.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

She had to confirmed. "You keep your bangs because of me?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Remember the first time we met? This is exactly how I looked that time."

"Oh my." Yuri pulled away a little bit and quickly noticed Yena's pink ears. "Oh Yena..."

"I know I know." Yena tried to wipe the embarrassment from her face, which was useless. "It's silly."

"No it's not." Yuri instantly sat up straight. "It's nice. It's romantic"

"Is it?"

"Very much."

"Really?"

"Yena." Yuri called her firmly. "I like it."

"Why?"

"Because that's how you show your love." Yuri gently kissed Yena's cheek again then leaned into her. "Though honestly I like you no matter how you look."

Yena beamed widly. At this rate the whole world was going to see the relief in her eyes. "But this look got you on two seconds."

"Please. You flirted with me the first day we stayed together."

"So what? I am not the type to dance around the girl I like for a whole week before making a move."

"Take it easy on them." Yuri chortled. "It's you who do things fast."

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow." Yena placed a kiss on Yuri's hair, dropping her voice. "How many tomorrows do we have?"

The words came out as a whisper, but it resounded just as loud as the laughter. A hidden part of Yena was slowly coming up to the surface, and Yuri took her into the hands with careful manner.

The second kind of quietness. Yuri remembered someone used to tell her it's heartbreaking when a talkative, lively person refused to speak, and it started living inside her since the moment she met Choi Yena.

It was like a cigaret in a dark night.

"You think they could work it out like us?"

Yena kept rubbing along Yuri's arm.

"Of course." She paused, then chuckled. "It's Yujin and Minjoo we are talking about. Remember that staring contest between them the first time we met their team?"

Yuri giggled at the vivid memory. This was what Yena's extremely good at: lifting the mood up no matter how close it was to the ground last minute.

"I actually considered a lot after that. Sakura as well. You know how protective she is when it comes to Minjoo."

"Here here." Yena seized the chance with the speed of light and pulled up a leg pant to look for a non-existent scar. "She almost killed me because of your best friend." She stressed the last three words on purpose.

Yuri shrugged. "Deserve. You put that prank upon Minjoo that time. Had it not been for Sakura, Minjoo could have joined a circus now."

"That's a good thing don't you see? I got her a job right after demobilization. Not many can do that, have you ever heard about that man who lived in the forest?"

"Shut up." Yuri heaved a sigh. Wonyoung and her had made a list of people who had tendency to run away from intense emotions and serious conversations, guess who was the top one? "Minjoo and Yujin, Yena."

"Yes madam."

"You- Why do you keep talking nonsense?"

"Minjoo and Yujin, Yuri."

"That's it." Yuri pulled away as Yena split her sides. "I'm leaving."

"No- Wait!" Yena grabbed Yuri and gently placed her back into her arms while her laughter sill filled the room. "I'm sorry. Don't leave. I'm about to leave tonight, just want to spend some time with you. Minjoo first. Come on. What's about her?"

Yuri rubbed her eyebrows. Just a quick second would be enough: let she enjoy the feeling of reconsidering every choices in her life please. "Just some thoughts of mine."

"Tell me."

"You know, she has always taken care of us. Crying much, but never left anyone alone. I tried to love her as much as she loves us, but I can't. No matter how hard I try, there's this void inside her that no one can fill."

Yena nodded, no longer joking. "Because it isn't meant to be any of us. You did your best."

"Then we moved here and they... You gotta see how she looks at Yujin." Yuri smiled. "Whenever she thinks about Yujin, you're bound to know. The light around her..."

Even if it's the smallest part, it's still a part, and Yuri was restless with it. The connection between them allow Yena to feel what Yuri didn't say outloud. "Yujin will take good care of her. The kid is pretty sweet and kind."

"I know. If there's anyone who's meant for Minjoo, that's her."

"Then what's in your mind?"

"Nothing."

Yena shot her a look, but she let her lover off the hook. When she got back from the 6th, she would continue. "OK." She arranged some thoughts in her mind. The need to protect this praticular soilder was pushing her to do something she never did before. "But don't do anything to Yujin."

Threatening Yuri.

Yuri sweetly caressed Yena's cheek before pinching it. "Who do you think I am?"

"Ouch! Hey hey hey that hurts!"

Yuri released her cheek after a while watching Yena struggled but dared not to fight back. "What if I do something?"

"Then square up!" Yena was ready to swing a fist. "She's my lost sibling! My dear puppy! My partner in crime and the other half of my comedian side!"

Yuri just snickered.

She knew Yena was joking about fighting with her.

She also knew the other wasn't joking about Yujin.

***

She and Minjoo was deep in the conversation about dogs (Yujin loved having a dog, but she couldn't afford one since her mom was busy with her daughter while Minjoo once being chased by a puppy and had the life scared out of her) when someone interrupted them from behind.

"Lovebirds, got the letters yet?"

Mail was a luxury that no money could buy it, especially now that they were moving constantly and wasn't close to any trenches. Luckily, Eunbi could ask the 6th to help them deliver the mail, so somewhere between the talk of traveling Hyewon had came to them with a smirk and told them to write some envelopes. Yujin was ready to leave and gave Minjoo some privacy but the girl quickly stopped her, "Stay, if you like. I don't mind."

So she sat back down without any words.

"You aren't going to write?" Minjoo asked when she realized Yujin looked like she's about to sleep. The taller girl opened her eyes and shook her head.

"No. I already wrote one not long ago." She absently placed a hand above the letter in her pocket. "Not much changed since then, I can send her this."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah."

A calm quietness fell onto them after that. Minjoo looked at the envelope Yujin talked about as she handed it to Yena, then she watched Yena put away their letters as though they were gold. They were, at some point. Substance barely saved them, but the warmth from their family did. So much.

"I'll hold seven, including mine." Yena said. "The rest is Eunbi's. We will only leave when the 6th tells us the envelopes have been at your houses."

"Funny." Yujin snorted. "See you after the war then. Maybe if I make it in time, I will be the one who receive the mail."

"Do you want me to personally deliver them then?"

Yujin was aware of her intention. "No."

"That was a little bit fast to decline me, don't you think?" Yena crossed her arms.

"I know what you've been up to."

"What I've been up to?" Yena uncrossed the arms and raised her shoulders. "I have no idea what you are talking about. Minjoo." The poor girl startled at the surprised call. She was enjoying the bickering much and had no plan to join them. "You have any clue?"

"Leave her out of this." Yujin subtly glared at Yena before turning to Minjoo. "Don't mind her. Her head is unstable."

"Don't take away her right. In fact, she's supposed to be the one to know everything related to you and her mother-"

The "in-law" part didn't make it to Minjoo's ears as Yujin launched at Yena, who squatted while talking to them, and both of them rolled on the grass like five-year-old kids.

"Shut up, Yena." Yujin growled with a hand over Yena's mouth. "One more word and I'll strangle you."

"I dare you to do it." Yena struggled to free herself. "In case you didn't notice, I'm the lover of the bestfriend of your-soon-to-be-lover."

Yuri arrived at the scene and helped Minjoo to pull two wrestlers away. "Get up." She pulled Yena's arm and handed her the rifle while Minjoo held Yujin's left sleeve and the back of her tunic gently. Yujin tried not to think about how close Minjoo was. "Eunbi's looking for you."

"Are we leaving? But it's still early." They all looked up at the pink sky. "It's not even dark yet."

"She thinks a meal would be nice before a long journey, but if you're not interested, I can-"

"Do you hear that?" Yena cut off Yuri eagerly, and she would take no for an answer, so Yuri haved a sigh and asked her instead.

"Hear what, Yena?"

"The cheerful squeal of my stomach!" Yena clapped her hands. She grabbed Yuri and headed straight to the school without letting Yuri saying anything.

"Enjoy, lovebirds." She waved at them. "Ask her about it, Minjoo! Ask her!"

They saw Yuri turned to Yena and said something, probably asking what Yena meant, then Yujin felt pretty satisfied when Yuri smacked Yena's head afterward, whatever the reason was.

Both her and Minjoo stood and watched the couple walking back to where the rest was staying. Half way back Yuri pulled out something- Yujin squinted her eyes and made a guess that was a pack of biscuits- and gave it to Yena. Her thought was confirmed as Yena yelled loudly- must have been really loud, since they could hear so well from this distance. "Really? You choose me over biscuits this time?" and they laughed when Yuri speeded up leaving Yena with the biscuits alone.

Though everything was childish, it was lovely. Under the pink sky, the scene of them being purely in love and enjoying the moment without anything belonged to reality clinging on them made Yujin's heart flip over, and she wondered if she could have the same thing with the girl next to her.

She still felt the warm from the hands holding her tunic.

Her gaze landed on the tangled hands before they completely disappeared together with Yena and Yuri, trying to swallow the crazy urge to hold Minjoo's hand.

Damn it. She sighed quietly. She hoped Minjoo could not hear the thumping heart in her chest. Maybe she couldn't. But she was so close, and Yujin's heart kept knocking loudly and screaming at her: it wanted to get out.

"Can I ask what that is? The thing Yena mentioned?" Minjoo asked shyly. Yujin noticed the hold on her tunic was still intact.

"Sure, though I bet you already knew about it." She kind of wanting to stay still to keep this moment with her, but she wouldn't let Minjoo stand for a long time. "Do you want to take a walk? Or you want to sit down?"

"A walk would be nice."

"Sure."

They did not move in spite of the agreement. Yujin felt the hand on her back slowly let go of the tunic and the disappointment dropped in her stomach like a heavy rock; she detested this. But it swiftly turned into confusion and delightment when she realized Minjoo still held her sleeve. She found Minjoo's eyes: there was a silent question in those vixen-like eyes.

She smiled and nodded softly.

They began to stroll around the school. "So what's the story?"

Yujin tilted her head and looked at the smiling girl. So close. Minjoo's hold wouldn't allow her to step away, not that she was dumb enough to do so.

"Have you heard about my mom's rice cake?"

"Oh that." Minjoo's face lit up. "Of course I have! I love rice cake!"

Yujin breathed out a laugh at this. She was so foolish. Why was she even worried before? Of course Minjoo would be like her: against all odds, a part of her believed this was meant to be.

They kept strolling, and Yujin saw in the cozy kitchen where she had spent a big part of her life the image of her mom taking out the fresh rice cakes and place those in front of them. Wonyoung usually had the first one, but she would let Minjoo have the favor now as they watched the girl take a big bite. That's how she fell in love with it. The same as how everyone fell in love with her mom's rice cake. She thought about the wide smile Minjoo would wear that day, and she glanced at the girl who was rambling about the said food besides her.

When would she at least stop falling harder for this girl?

***

Today midnight was coming faster than every midnights she had in her life. She had watched Yena and Eunbi every seconds she could, she pulled each minutes went by back to her and she had resisted strongly the urge to ask them if she could just go with them.

None of them really made the scene of Yena and Eunbi collecting their helmets and rifles more bearable. The rest was gathering around them, even people taking the night shift: they would all walk with Yena and Eunbi til the line and then who needed to stay, stayed; who could come back, came back.

"We will get back here faster than you think." Eunbi smiled, holding the biscuits Minjoo had handed her. No matter how consistent she was while declining, Minjoo was better than her. "Don't worry too much. Delivering the words and getting your mails sent won't take too much time, I suppose."

She spotted Yujin leaning against a wall and threw her a wink. The taller girl just rolled her eyes and chuckled. That was the same wink she got when she and Minjoo entered the room everyone was in together.

She felt someone approached her. It's Yena. "Don't miss us too much." The girl grinned and pat Yujin's shoulder. She must have found out Yujin didn't seem like herself.

Yujin snorted. "Don't worry, I've had better things to do."

"Of course." Yena moved closer to her and placed both hands on Yujin's shoulders. "Listen, Yujin. When I and Eunbi get back, we want to hear you two- no don't you dare cut me in- you two, have kissed each other at least once. If it's the 'we-are-dating' news that waiting for us then even better." She stopped and squeezed Yujin's shoulders. "This is an order, Corporal."

It took the taller girl a while to make the words come out. "I will throw you to the 6th."

Yena let go of her and laughed. "That's the spirit, my kid."

They both moved to the front yard and quickly joined everyone. The short path to the line was filled with the voices and when Hyewon had Yena in a headlock, a roar of laughters lightened up the night. A trail of them being happily together lingering in the air after each steps they took. Going through "see you later" experience wasn't easy for them at first, but after years living with the war, they had gotten the hang of it.

"Well." Eunbi said. She didn't miss the way all suddenly became quiet.

They had arrived to the line.

"Take care of each other." Eunbi looked at each of them. "Don't manage to kill your friends in just three days."

Some chuckled. Yujin didn't. She wondered since when Wonyoung and Minjoo had stood besides her.

"OK." Yena waved at them after pulling Yuri into a tight hug. "See you later then!"

Yujin watched them as they walked away. No one left the spot as two figures they had their gazes on started to become smaller and smaller until there were just two small dots in the forest, and then it's impossible to discriminate between the soldiers and the trees.

Someone broke the silence. "You should come back."

She looked to Hyewon, but the girl wasn't looking at her. She followed her eyes and found Yuri with her head low.

"Let's go." Wonyoung whispered at her as they moved back to the school. The younger took her hand and they kept the hold all the way. The other side of her was getting colder: Minjoo had stayed with Yuri and both just stared at the forest without a word.

"Are you alright, Yujin?"

She had no memory of how she ended up leaning against the doorframe Eunbi and Yena just walked through earlier.

"I'm not sure, Wonyoung."

It's true. She couldn't point out what was going on in her head and her heart herself. She wasn't even sure she was looking at the moment or the past at this point: They all walked away, but they didn't come back.

"Do you want to sleep, Yujin?"

"Not really." She knew what Wonyoung meant. No one could sleep tonight, and probably the next ones until the vacant spots were filled again. When they lay their back on the floor, it was the only comfort they could provide each other at this moment: laying together and fighting together, all of them. "I want to stay here for a few more minutes."

She could see Wonyoung nodded without turning her head. "Alright." Wonyoung put a hand on her back. "I'm just right inside." Her voice was very soft.

Yujin wasn't able to swallow the lump in . She nodded instead.

"Goodnight, Yujin." Then Wonyoung left.

She's not very clear about what happened after Wonyoung went inside, but when she managed to snap herself out of her thoughts, Minjoo was already heading towards her. The girl beckoned her to get out and she followed. They didn't want to disturb the rest.

"How's Yuri?" She asked as they gazing the forest that looked like a black curtain. No one knew what happened after that piece of cloth. Yujin found herself praying.

"She needs some time. Alone." Minjoo muttered. She shivered as a cool breeze swept passed them; her blanket had been left with Yuri. Yujin was ing a bag which contanining her blanket when Minjoo stopped her, "Don't."

"You are cold."

"So will you if you give me yours."

"I won't just stand here and see you like this."

They stared at each other. No one said anything, it was a wordless agrument. At long last, Minjoo heaved a sigh. She gave up. "We have to find another way."

"I can borrow one, from Wonyoung." Yujin said, already took out her blanket and handed over to Minjoo. "Here."

She, also like the last times, only left after seeing Minjoo draped it over her shoulders. She entered the room and it didn't take long for her to find her bestfriend hugging Chaeyeon.

"Yujin?" Wonyoung sat up straight, followed by Chaeyeon. "What's wrong?"

"Can I borrow a blanket? I gave mine to Minjoo."

Usually they would refuse to let this chance go, they had to . However, Wonyoung and Chaeyeon just exchanged a quick look and they turned to her, both wore this tender expression on their faces.

"Here. Take mine." Chaeyeon attempted to give hers but was quickly stopped by Wonyoung.

"Let me." Wonyoung grabbed the blanket that was resting on her lap and strechted her arm towards Yujin. The girl took it and looked at them, scanning each faces, and then, "Thank you."

Wonyoung looked like she wanted to pat Yujin's head, sometimes she just did it though she was younger, but she knew Yujin wasn't in the mood to be patted, so she smiled. "Go."

Giving them a last grateful glance, Yujin went off to join Minjoo. She arranged Wonyoung's blanket and absently smell it. Strawberry. Sweet and bright. She thought about another scene she loved. Lavender scent. Pleasant and calm. She wondered was that how the scents actually meant, or it was just her definations based on the owners.

Minjoo was standing exactly where she remembered they were. The girl had her eyes on the sky, absored with the stars. She settled next to Minjoo while taking in the beautiful sculpture drawn by the nature as well.

"Do you think the stars will guide them?"

The stars? She thought about them too? "You like the stars?"

Minjoo breathed out slowly. "Not really. I have a quite complicated relationship with them."

"Is it alright if I want to know more?"

Minjoo glanced to her and smiled. "I pray to them, but sometimes it seems like my praying didn't reach them at all."

It scared her for a moment to know that someone else did the same thing as her. To look, to trust, to pray, and to be hurt in return.

"You?" Minjoo wasn't looking at her.

The past blended in slowly. They all walked away, but they didn't come back.

"I don't know." Yujin shut her eyes close for a moment. When she opened them, nothing had changed. The stars were still shining above their heads. "They are too beautiful not to believe in, but I've learnt my lesson."

She was walking around the stars and she's scared those might hurt Minjoo the way they had hurt her. Maybe it was the Van's fault. It's always the Van's fault. Those heartless bastards just wanted more and more and never took no for an answer, not even when blood got on their hands. But for some reasons she was so mad at fate, and perhaps the stars had already left something in Minjoo.

"That lesson hurts a lot, doesn't it?"

The way Minjoo spoke was too understanding, too gentle and too kind.

Yujin breathed in, then breathed out. Deeply. "Yeah."

One by one was waving at her. She wanted to tell them to stay. Don't go. You will never come back if you leave. You will never see us, will never be able to hug your father and kiss your mother again if you leave. "So many. Two years. I lost count. Yesterday we were still laughing together, today I have to keep the memories for both of us."

But you did leave. I no longer see your smiles and your youthful faces.

"I hold some, Wonyoung holds some, Chayeon holds some, the same for the rest. We carry a part of them til the end of the road." She shook her head lightly. "But it's just not enough. Not enough. But I don't know what to do."

She's sure Minjoo had noticed a tear escaped from her left eye and slipped down her cheek, yet the girl just kept silent and caressed Yujin's blanket.

She's grateful to Minjoo. The girl had done Yujin the biggest favor in this world: letting she crying on her own without leaving.

***

Minjoo decided to bring Yujin inside before she completely gave up to the sleepiness. Crying really drained her whole. For a moment she felt humiliated; she must have looked similar to the time Hyewon almost kissed the table the early morning she sat with Yujin. Perhaps it was worse. Minjoo nearly had her heart jumped out when Yujin suddenly fell forward like a tree in a storm.

"Let's go in." Minjoo's clearly suppressing a smile. "I think we've been staying out long enough."

"Wait." Yujin held her back at the door. They both dropped their voice into whispers. "I need to ask you something."

They didn't talk after Yujin's crying, at least not out loud. Some words could not be said with the voice. Some words needed to be done with one of the ways feelings worked that she had found out, and she felt like she had taken an important step in this new universe.

"Go on, Yujin." Minjoo encouraged her.

When the morning came, a sober Yujin would probably wish to travel back and punch herself because of the embarrassment that hit her along with the memory, but right now she wasn't in her best mind to care about the consequence, so who's going to stop her? No one.

"Are you hurt?"

"Pardon?" Minjoo appeared to be worried about her. "No I'm not." She hesitantly added. "Are you alright?"

"No." Yujin leaned out a bit and pointed to the sky. She needed to know this even though her eyes were barely opened. "The star. They've hurted you too?"

Something passed on Minjoo's face but she wasn't conscious enough to analyze what it was. She remembered Minjoo answered her softly. "Yes."

Maybe she had pouted. "Bad stars."

Minjoo was doing her utmost to stifle a laugh. "Don't be too mad at them."

"I'll try." She pursed her lips and thought very hard. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright." Yujin repeated. "I won't let the stars hurt you."

She didn't catch the look on Minjoo's face.

"I'm not sure I can actually prevent it, literally I mean. But I can be with you. We can endure it together. Pain is bearable when you have someone. The stars might aim at us once again, but they gotta face me first. I won't leave you alone, Minjoo."

There was a silence, in which Minjoo just stare at Yujin lovingly while the other was so close to collapse on the ground.

"What have it done to you?" Minjoo whispered, smiling. "You talk so much when you are sleepy... Don't feel too bad when you wake up tomorrow."

Minjoo took off Yujin's blanket yet still kept it in one hand. She kept her eyes on Yujin and the way she gazed the girl indicated she was restraining herself.

"Minjoo?" Yujin took a step closer to her and accidentally broke something Minjoo was holding on. Despite her terrible state, she could feel the faint struggle in Minjoo. "What's wrong?"

"You are a good person, Yujin." Minjoo mumbled. "A very good person."

"Is that a good thing?" Yujin asked.

"Of course." Minjoo said, and when she saw the hand she raised on instinct, she froze instantly.

Yujin diverted her gaze to Minjoo's hand and blinked. Her mind was still working well enough to let her know that Minjoo wanted to pat her head, but the gears only pushed her far enough to the idea she's too tall for Minjoo, so she lowered her head.

It was an awkward moment for Minjoo before she slowly let her palm connected to Yujin's hair. She didn't pat Yujin. She was rubbing her hair softly with love.

"You are a good person." Minjoo said those words again, as if it meant so much to her. "A beautiful person."

Yujin looked at Minjoo in puzzlement as she gave the blanket back.

"Good night, Yujin."

***

In her dream, only her and Minjoo were at school, and the sky was raining stars. She kept calling Yena and Eunbi's names between the disaster but no one answered her. There's nothing out there but the fallen stars and the exploding sounds. She kept yelling and yelling the soldiers' names until she remembered that she wasn't alone. She turned to Minjoo.

Sitting in a corner with her eyes blank, Minjoo was too quiet and it seemed like she wasn't there.

"Minjoo!" She ran to her. "We gotta find Yena and Eunbi!"

Minjoo slowly looked at her and shook her head.

"You, Ahn Yujin." She pointed to Yujin's heart instead. "You are a good person."

Everything that was happening could not drown out Minjoo's voice. Yujin didn't understand a damn thing, but she let the girl continue, and she also didn't know why she did that.

"A beautiful person." She whispered.

And then suddenly the sky wasn't raining stars anymore.

***

Wonyoung had already been awake when she woke up, though she doubted the younger girl had caught any sleep last night.

"Keep your voice low." She whispered. "Yuri just fell asleep."

They walked out of the room and saw no one. The door to the room where Eunbi's team usually rested was closed. Everything was so quiet, it made Yujin think of the dream last night. "Where's everyone?"

"They're just around." Wonyoung said.

Hardly had Wonyoung finished the sentence than Sakura stepped out of the kitchen. She spotted them and walked toward their direction. They stood and waited for her until she was close enough. "Morning, Sakura."

"Morning. Minjoo's with Yuri?"

"Yeah." Wonyoung nodded. Yujin felt someone scratching inside her at the mention of Minjoo. "She finally slept."

"Good." Sakura glanced at the door and sighed. "I'll change with her later. Where are you going?"

"I don't know." Yujin said before looking at Wonyoung. "Are you in the mood for the river?"

"A bit far." Wonyoung considered. "But I need it."

She didn't mean the water only. Since they were kids, every time they had to deal with something they would usually took a walk together in Yujin's orchard. They spent a whole evening in it and when they came back Yujin's mom had already baked them rice cakes. Problem solved.

"Want to come with us, Sakura?" Yujin asked.

"I'll decline it."

"Do you need to refill your canteen? We can help you."

When she saw the hesitance on Sakura's face, she pushed on. "You saved me, Sakura. This is the least I can do."

"I did it because I wanted to." Sakura raised one eyebrow. "But fine." She took out the canteen and gave Yujin. "Here."

It was half empty. Yujin wanted to ask about Minjoo and Yuri as well, but the thought of disturbing Yuri stopped her, so she just put away Sakura's canteen without saying anything. She would check on them and if it's needed, share hers to them later.

"Thank you." Sakura gave her a smile. Before she turned away, she looked Yujin in the eyes and said, "You look better than yesterday."

Wonyoung started when they were on the way to the river. "Told you she's observant. Reserved, but observant."

The knowledge of this was the same forest that Yena and Eunbi had disappeared into sent her this thing in the stomach. "Who? Sakura?"

"Who else?"

"When did you tell me?"

"When we were discussing about their thing, Yujin." She could feel Wonyoung's glare on her. "Got the memory back?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's fine."

What Sakura told her was back in her mind. "But I really look better?"

Wonyoung nodded. "You do."

"How?"

Wonyoung stopped on her track and wiped her face with both hands. Although she was one year younger than Yujin, she handled almost everything better than her. The girl worked her way out of the ghosts and brought only the beauty with her. She wondered how Wonyoung could do it.

"As I said before, Yujin." Wonyoung said softly. "You give more and you receive more. It shows."

"What shows?"

"Come have a look."

They arrived to the river after a while. Wonyoung led her to the riverbank and pointed to their reflections on the water. "Here."

Yujin looked. Staring back at her was not only the face of a twenty-one-year-old girl. She lowered in a hand and lifted some to wash her face. She took a look again and chose to observe her features. This was the traits she had grown up together, the traits she usually pointed out how much they had changed everytime she stood before a mirror.

"What do you see?" Wonyoung asked.

"My mom and my dad."

"Of course." Wonyoung smiled. "Anything else?"

"Me?"

"How do you look in your eyes?"

Yujin studied the reflection again. "Normal?"

"Exactly." Wonyoung put a hand on Yujin's shoulder. "A normal face of a normal girl. That's how better you are."

"I'm pretty worried about how I looked yesterday." Yujin half joked, but when Wonyoung didn't answer her, she turned to the girl. "Wonyoung?"

"Don't worry." Wonyoung gave her a light squeeze. Her gaze was not on Yujin and her mind was far away. "It's just someone who holds too much and carries too much."

Yujin thought about how the sky stopped raining stars after Minjoo told her she was beautiful as a person. Maybe the stars had been raining down on her all the time without her knowing. Maybe she had held grudge against them more than she's aware. But was it matter now, when Minjoo had come and stopped the rain?

Minjoo. Minjoo. Yujin washed her face again carefully with a smile.

You saved my life.

Should have known it's impossible to stop falling harder for you.

***

Minjoo was already outside when they came back. Wonyoung shot her a look and took Sakura's canteen from Yujin. "I will take this." She said. "And you will do what you need to do."

Then she left with a smirk.

There's this thing that usually woke her up at nights: she really wished that she could solve some problems with Wonyoung the same way she did with Yena: violence. The type that she could just jump at them and wrestle them until one stood up smirking, which was her in most of cases. But she couldn't. Never. Yujin sighed out in frustration. One day she would get back on that girl, she swore to God.

Minjoo wasn't surprised when she approached the girl. "Hey."

"Hey." Minjoo lifted her head. The moment their eyes met, Yujin's heart skipped a beat, like literally. "Want to take a seat?"

"Sure." She sat down, keeping a reasonable distance between them. The memory of last night filled every spots of her as she spoke. "You look like you didn't catch any sleep last night."

Minjoo just smiled weakly.

"How's Yuri?"

"Still the same." Minjoo breathed in deeply. "She's too good at handling herself."

Too. Too much of something was actually never good, her mom said so. It reminded her of Wonyoung all the time; the girl always kept herself in check and hardly allowed anything to get better of her.

"Then, how are you?"

Minjoo turned to her, eyebrows raised. "I think I have nothing to worry about."

The expression she's wearing on her face made Yujin hesitate to ask. "Why?"

"Well, someone promised me last night that they would protect me from bad stars."

Of course she had to do that. Yujin groaned and hid her face in her hands, embarrassment crept up onto her ears. "You are so mean."

Minjoo just laughed, which urged Yujin to peek at the girl through her fingers, smiling.

Even her laughter sounded so nice. So bright. The kind of laughter that even though the owner just tease you, you know you can't stay mad at her. Not a second.

You are just a candy under sunlight.

When she felt it was enough, Minjoo ran her fingers slowly along her rifle and bit her under lip. There's this atmosphere that got Yujin look forward to something.

"But I want you to know one thing." She shyly stole a glance at Yujin.

"Yeah?"

"I meant every words last night."

It was a new feeling that she couldn't describe it to anyone, not even herself. But it was amazing. Really amazing. And it meant something to her. To both of them. Something big inside her urged her to do something, and for a moment she thought she might listen to it, but she didn't.

Instead, Yujin gave her a very soft smile. "So do I, Minjoo."

***

She had no idea why she did it, or maybe she did, but it could have been the excuse she seeked to explain for her action after all. Anyway, meeting Yuri and checking on her wasn't supposed to sound that bad, it's not like they were committing a crime together.

It's just she sometimes felt like they weren't close enough to do this. This "how are you" thing. What if Yuri found her weird? Yuri liked rubbing her head, like a small puppy, alright, but to reach to the point spending some minutes alone...

Whatever. Yujin would figure that out somehow. She wanted to do it, she wanted to let Yuri know that she could lean on her and everyone else whenever she felt like, and to be honest? Screw this.

"Hey." She greeted Yuri with a small smile. "How do you feel now?"

"I'm good." The girl motioned her to sit down, so she did. "You?"

Yujin wasn't able to look at her. She's not that good with this emotional things. God, it felt like you know you are gonna die if you do that, but you keep doing it because you are such a stubborn bastard. "I'm fine."

There's a silence followed after: a real silence, if anyone wanted to know more. Deafening kind. Yujin found herself scrachting the wooden floor, trying to say what she wanted to say without making it more awkward than it already was.

It's good that Yuri didn't cut her off by accident. "I know this is very awkward." Yujin said, letting her gaze move to everywhere it liked, except Yuri. "And I don't think it actually helps much, but I want to do something. I don't want you to feel alone." She paused. "I don't want anybody to feel alone, so-" She stopped, struggling to get the words out. "If you... ever want someone to talk to, or listen to you talking, or simply just sit next to you, you can find me. Don't worry, I don't mind, not at all."

Because Yuri was quiet even after she finished, she stole a quick glance at the girl, not knowing that Yuri was staring at her.

Yuri chuckled when she diverted her eyes away really fast. "I keep understanding why they both love you so much."

"Who?"

Yuri shot her a look, not like Yujin was facing her to notice this. "I can only tell you one person, Yena. The other you gotta find out yourself."

"Oh." Yujin let out a small sound. There's a person that she wished Yuri was saying about, but she hated to assume things. "OK."

Yuri wouldn't point out how disappointed she sounded at that moment, even though it made her do her utmost to stifle a laugh. "But I'll keep what you say in my mind."

She then reached to Yujin's hair and rubbed it as if the taller girl was a small puppy, and she told Yujin with a very warm and kind voice. "I hope you know you can do the same with me. I adore you as well."

***

When she's about to leave, (Wonyoung had knocked at the door and told them it's Yujin's turn to get the berries) she didn't expect Yuri to call her back. "Yujin."

She turned around, looking at Yuri in the eyes for the first time in the day. "Yeah?"

Now it was Yuri who found it hard to look straight at her. "Actually I've been trying to speak to you these days, but it's a little bit hard to spot a right timing."

She couldn't think of any reasons why Yuri got something she held inside and only wanted Yujin to know, but she believed it was important, so she nodded to indicate she's still listening.

"I want to say," Yuri took in a deep breath, and when she breathed out, the secret she kept in her flowed out together with it. "-thank you. Thank you, for coming into our lives... Into her life. I never saw her this happy before, and I don't know what she would be like at this moment without you here."

Then she told Yujin something that she wished she could record it like a film, because she knew Yuri meant it. "I wish the best thing for both of you."

So, with a smile, she nodded. "Thank you."

***

The forest half reminded her of her mother and their orchard. It's like having the same factors but you know something isn't quite right because you keep comparing two scenes. All the green trees. All the leaves on the ground. The branches were lying everywhere and Wonyoung was walking next to her, pocketing all the berries within her reach.

She missed her white cherry tree. She missed waking up from the bed, unable to sleep with all the thoughts inside her head. Her mom was in her own room, sewing or reading or just simply was like her, finding it hard to fall asleep. She wondered if her mom had the same reason like her, probably not. Her mom was an adult, and to be a real adult she had gone through a lot to fight for that word. She had been an expert at keeping things inside her and gained experiences along the way while Yujin was just a kid trying to figure out the world she's living in.

Yeah, the world she's living in. The way it worked and the way it kept turning and turning without waiting for anyone. Did anyone even choose to be an adult? Do we ever have a choice to stay as who we are?

"Oh Yujin, growing up doesn't mean you have to let go." That's what her mom said.

"Then what is it, mom?"

"It means you learn how to be yourself even when this world wants you to be someone else."

When she slipped into their orchard successfully, she found herself speeding up to the direction she had known by heart. It was right in the middle, all her childhood and beautiful things. She sat down at the cherry tree and took in a deep breath. There was something about this tree that only it could bring her the comfort that she couldn't find anywhere else.

Maybe it was everything that came with this cherry tree. Maybe it was every stories behind it.

Yujin touched her pocket absently. Maybe it was the start of her dream.

She looked up and saw Wonyoung checking the berries carefully. There wasn't any white cherry here, but things were bearable. And things were bearable because she had people she loved with her all the way.

White cherry. Her mom and her smile. She wondered why she hadn't had that dream again.

***

Minjoo had trouble sleeping, even if it's just a quick nap. When Yujin asked "Is there anything I can do to help you?" with a soft voice, Minjoo had taken her time to think, but not about what Yujin could do. That look on her face was the one she wore when she was considering the pros and cons if she said what's in her mind to the other.

"I don't mind." Yujin said. "As long as you can rest."

"Well." Minjoo lowered her head, avoiding Yujin's eyes. "I think having someone talk with me to sleep might help."

That's why they were here: Minjoo was lying right at the spot that Wonyoung always chose, against the tree with her helmet on the grass. Yujin was sitting next to her, carefully keeping every breath to herself.

"Can you please talk until I fall asleep?" Minjoo adjusted her head and asked.

"Sure. What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything will do."

This is hard. There was something in her mind right now that she wished she could let Minjoo know, but she didn't think it's suitable for a good-nap story. However, she could not think of any story to tell except it as if this one had blocked all the thoughts inside her.

"That will do as well, Yujin."

"Huh?" Yujin turned to the girl with an eyebrow raised. "What will do?"

"That one you want to tell me." Minjoo opened her eyes, sending the taller girl a smile.

Surprise. Surprise. She encountered this word a lot when she met Minjoo, as though this girl could read Yujin like an opened book. "I'm not sure I should tell you this when you are about to sleep."

"If it's important to you, then it is important to me. And it's not like I'm sleepy right now."

"That's the point. This one will make you think and think. It won't bring you what you need."

"What I need is you can tell me your thoughts whenever you want to."

"I just want to make you fall asleep."

"I will fall asleep easier if I know you have shared me your thoughts." Minjoo sent her another soft smile. "Just tell me. I love your thoughts."

Yujin could feel her cheeks getting hotter. "You love my thoughts?"

"Yeah. They are like you."

"How come?"

Minjoo gave her a look full of emotions. It was hard to feel everything that she conveyed through it, but Yujin could point out the smirk playing around Minjoo's lips when she closed her eyes was the sign of victory. Minjoo knew she had won this battle. "Beautiful."

Yujin was blushing madly. It's good that Minjoo still gave her some mercy as the girl didn't watch Yujin struggle getting the words out.

"I think I haven't grown up yet, you know? Like, I'm not a kid anymore; I'm no longer that small girl playing in the rain and jumping on every puddles she saw, but I don't think I'm an adult. It's like I'm stuck somewhere between them. The kid me and the adult me."

Minjoo was looking at her gently. "Do you know why Eunbi always tells us to act normally?"

"Because she wants us to be comfortable?"

"That, and she understands. After all, we are just young girls who are trying to do something for our country. This is normal if we had another life, but since you are here and I am here, we don't really have time to think about it."

Yujin let the words sink in.

"She wants to give us what we lost, doesn't she?"

Minjoo smiled sadly. "She's trying her best. But," Minjoo pushed herself up a bit. "I really think it's normal. Figuring ourselves out is never easy."

"Even for you?"

"Even for me."

Minjoo was quiet for a moment. "I hope you can know this: If you want to, if you love her, then a part of you will always be the small girl under the rain who likes to play with puddles. The idea of adult is misty for me sometimes, because everyone has the own definition about that word, so at the end of the day I decided to be true to my heart."

"Can I ask what it is?"

"Be the person I want to. A better person and be honest to me. Growing up is something like that."

She heard her mom's voice in her ears. "What if people don't like that?"

"Then let them be." She loved it when Minjoo looked at her like that. She found the comfort she couldn't have it anywhere else. Like the white cherry tree. "Only your happiness matters. There will be people who don't like you, but there will be people who are willing to protect the light in your eyes at all costs."

She tried not to think about what Minjoo implied. "Really?"

Everything about Minjoo was so soft. Like cotton candy. And when she looked into Yujin's eyes and nodded lightly yet firmly, "Yeah" she made a big part of Yujin turn into candy as well.

A candy under sunlight. Too much candy these days.

She noticed Minjoo slip down, back to laying against the tree. The serious time was over. "Minjoo."

She let out a pleasant sound from as a response.

"How can you know all these things?"

Minjoo opened one eye, then the other, and she sent Yujin a wink.

She had another question in mind. "What do you want to be? Occupation, I mean."

"A kindergarten teacher."

"That's really nice." Yujin was imagining the picture of Minjoo with a kid, and she did her best not to draw herself in it. "You must love children a lot."

"I do." There was a new light on her face when they mentioned about kid. She would be a great mother. Lucky whoever could get to marry her.

"What about you?"

"Me?" Yujin was snapped out of her thoughts. "A painter."

"That's wonderful. How did you find your way to that love?"

"I love nature. We have got an orchard back home and there are so many trees and flowers in there. I think I kinda grew up with the beauty of it." She wasn't aware she started speaking faster, but she knew she wanted to save white cherry for another time, so she said. "When I was seven, one of my mom's friends told her there was an old man who got great cow milk, and it wasn't that far to his place from where we were, like one and half miles, so one day both of us went to there in the afternoon."

"He got a huge farm and a nice farmhouse, but when he invited us to go in there and had a cup of tea I tried to make some excuses to stay outside. Do you know why? Because he got a gate, and it's not a normal gate since somehow- he himself didn't even know why; he told me that was the magic of nature," Yujin chuckled at the memory, "-there were flowers on the gate. Dark pink flowers, they were really beautiful, you gotta see it yourself. But that's not everything. The flowers ran from the bottom to the top and they met each other in the middle, then they hung themselves like mistletoes on Christmas day. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing! My mom allowed me to just stand there and watch them, and she even agreed when I begged her to go there every weekend. She told me I had fallen in love, and she had no right to separate us, so I just-"

Yujin couldn't help but breathing out a laugh at the sight that had stopped her: Minjoo, who's looking at her with half lidded eyes, was doing her utmost to stay awake.

She leaned to Minjoo. "Go to sleep." She whispered indulgently.

Minjoo shook her head slightly. "I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I like this."

"Then I will keep talking even when you have fallen asleep."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Yujin was someone who kept her words. She hardly made a promise, but once she did, she would do everything to make it happen. However, staring at Minjoo's peaceful face when she calmly breathed in and out, Yujin found herself enjoy the quietness between them. After what seemed like a very long time, she reached out her finger to Minjoo's face, wanting to tuck the strand of hair but stopped half way in hesitancy.

Minjoo had not allowed her to do it.

The disarranged hair kept grazing Minjoo's eyes. Yujin looked up at the sky as if asking the god what she should do; every voice in her head was arguing loudly with each other. Her hand in the air clenched into a fist as she in a deep breath, then she moved closer to Minjoo carefully.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Her shaking finger approached Minjoo's hair cautiously so she would not touch her skin by accident, and when she tucked it successfully behind Minjoo's ear without crossing the line, she finally realized how close she was to the other girl.

Lavender scent was lingering around her nose.

She slowly pushed herself away from Minjoo but not as far as she used to be. Minjoo was sleeping right next to her, soundlessly. No hint of the war.

Just her. Just the person Yujin wished she could spend the rest of her life with, and if she's lucky enough, then the other mother of her child.

Yujin traced each of Minjoo's traits as though she was one of the best gifts universe had ever decided to give Yujin.

Do I have a chance, Minjoo?

This forehead. These eyes. This nose. These dimples that would appear instantly whenever she smiled.

This face.

This was the face she wanted to wake up next to every morning from now on.

She's so in love with Minjoo.

"Stay, Minjoo. Please stay." She said in an almost inaudible voice, half hoping it could reach Minjoo somehow. "You have no idea how much you have changed my life. Stay with me. Even when Eunbi and Yena are far away from us, even when I have no white cherry tree with me, even when I still have a long way to be who I want to be, if you stay with me, then I feel like everything will be alright."

I will forever love you. "Please, stay with me."

***

Yujin had arrived to the decison: She wanted to tell Minjoo the dream she had about the stars and the girl the day before they welcomed Wednesday. The day Eunbi and Yena would come back, or at least they had hoped so.

They had prayed so.

"Instrumental?" No one remembered how they reached to this topic, but that's how they were. Spontaneity. That's the word. "Why don't you guess what I can play?"

Yujin chuckled at Minjoo's mischievous grin. She loved this so much. "OK." She put a finger on her chin, pretended to think. "Let me see... Hm... No hints at all?"

"Nope."

"Not even a small one?"

"Nope."

"That's not very fair." They're smiling widly at each other. "You know that, right?"

"Who's talking about being fair here?"

"Me?"

She could not tear her eyes away from Minjoo's dimples. "Good luck to you, then."

"Oh come on." Yujin groaned in a joking manner. "Just one, please?"

With the 'e' very long on purpose.

Minjoo copied her action earlier. She also put a finger on her chin and refused to meet Yujin's pleading gaze. "One hint?"

Yujin tilted her head, pressing her lips together so her own dimples would appear. This was what she would usually do before asking for her mom's permission when she knew the chance her mom agreed was pretty low (80% percent she would let Yujin do whatever she wanted to after this). She had never done this with Minjoo, but this was her secret weapon and if this didn't work then nothing would. "Just one is enough. Please?"

She did not know what that beat Minjoo skipped meant when the girl looked at her, but she knew she got Minjoo with how pink her cheeks were.

Yujin bursted into laughter as she watched Minjoo avoiding her eyes. "Not fair." She caught Minjoo muttering.

"Who's talking about being fair here?" She sent Minjoo an innocent look as a reply to her glare.

Minjoo run her fingers through her hair, unable to hide a shy smile. "Fine." She raised her hands. "Here."

Staring to the palms in front of her, Yujin blinked blankly. "Doesn't every instrumental require hands?"

Minjoo smirked. "Yep."

"Then how can this one is a hint?"

"I can't tell you. If I do, it will give the answer right away."

"You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?"

Minjoo laughed lightly. "Just look closer. Observe."

Observe.

Hands. Small hands. White skin. Slender fingers. The fingers that she wished she could slid her own into and interlocked them. It must feel soft, so soft, like clouds. She had thought about this before.

"Guitar?" Yujin muttered for whatever reason she diddn't even know, and Minjoo widened her eyes instantly.

"How-" She dropped the hands; was opened a little bit. "How did you know?"

"Just a guess." Yujin shrugged, the right cornor of her lips curling up. Whoever put the idea into her head and pushed her to say it, thank you. "But I think I got it right. Right, Minjoo?"

Minjoo was still taken aback. "I'm sure I never told you before."

"Tell me what?"

"About," she moved her gaze between her palms and Yujin. "my hands!"

"No you never told me. I won this fair and square."

Minjoo squinted her eyes at Yujin as if doing so would make the taller girl spill out the truth, which, of course, just got Yujin chuckle instead since everything she told Minjoo was true.

And it's not like she could ever lie to the girl in front of her. "Are you looking for something from me?"

"Yep."

"May I know what that is?"

"Anything that can give me an explanation for this."

"What is this?"

Minjoo's face was full of suspicion and it only changed when Yujin persuaded her. "Tell me and I might understand why I said that."

"OK." Minjoo showed Yujin her hands as she flipped them slowly so the girl could take a better view at both sides. "You see my hands? My sister said these were the hands that were born to play guitar."

There was so much love in her voice mixed with pride and a very small part of homesick which Minjoo tried to hide away. The urge to hold Minjoo's hands and maybe even pull her into a hug was growing inside Yujin like a balloon, and before it had a chance to explode, she told Minjoo softly. "I think she's right."

"My sister?"

"Yeah."

She stared at her palms for a long time. Yujin knew it was the memories that Minjoo saw right now. "I used to play for her everytime a storm started breaking outside our room. We both hated the thunder, but I never let her know. I just sat there, playing her favourite song and singing for her. She would scoot closer to me whenever the sky lighted up and I wouls kiss her hair at the same time the sound made her whine."

And you told me that I was beautiful. "That's wonderful, Minjoo. You love her a lot."

Minjoo looked at her and smiled. "I do."

The girl bent down her fingers into the palms, holding everything inside her hands. "Are you scared of the thunder Yujin?"

"If I said yes, would you sing for me?"

Minjoo was giving her that incredibly soft look. "I would."

"Then," Yujin took in a deep breath, "if there wasn't a storm but the sky was raining stars, would you still sing for me?"

"I would."

"That's great." Yujin forced herself to speak to distract any other thoughts in her mind. "Because I had this dream that the sky was raining stars and there were only me and you at the school. I was so scared and only you could save me at that moment."

"Did I sing for you?"

"No. But you did stop the rain."

"How?"

"You told me that I was a beautiful person."

"Because it's true, Yujin." Minjoo whispered. "You are beautiful."

***

Wednesday.

An endless day.

None of them slept at night, and when the dawn came, all had been standing behind the line, waiting.

No one said a word. Wonyoung was holding Yujin's hand and Minjoo was side hugging Yuri with Hyewon. They were somehow holding onto each other, physically or mentally, and they wished nothing more than seeing two figures emerged behind the trees and came into view. But that didn't happen.

Nothing happened.

Except the rain.

Rain.

It had not rained since they came here.

Rain.

It wasn't one of the rains Yujin brought with her.

Numbing, Yujin stared at the forest with its new curtain: the cloudburst. It came pouring down and everything suddenly turned white and she could not see anything. She also could not understand why someone slapped her and although it wasn't that hard, it was enough to pull back some sense as she turned to that direction.

Since when Sakura was holding her collar? "Get your into the school- now."

Wonyoung had a hand on Sakura's shoulder and a hand on Yujin's shoulder, raindrops dripping continuously from her chin. She squeezed Yujin's shoulder gently. "Let's go."

Yujin wasn't even in her right mind to question how it's just three of them running back to the school. Her thoughts kept drifting to everywhere, leaving her almost trip on a rock had it not been for Sakura and Wonyoung's quick reflex. She stood up, barely felt their tight grips around her arms and continued to run when they started letting go of her.

Her legs were moving on their own. She could not stop. She could not breathe. If she stopped now she would cry, and for some reason she didn't want to cry.

Through the heavy raindrops that were falling from the sky, she saw her standing there, holding something in her hands while looking at her.

Even if the distance between them was bigger than it already was, even if the sky was madder and sadder and it's the stars that were shaking this world, they knew- they knew, that they were looking into each other's eyes.

You.

Everything slowed down then stopped for a second.

Quietness.

Something in Yujin snapped.

It flared up like a blaze in her chest as she sprinted desperately to where Minjoo was, almost crashing into the shorter girl when she came to a halt but she held herself back in time. This world could explode and the sun could swallow her and everyone else but she's not going to let that happen.

Never.

Only when Minjoo draped her blanket around Yujin's shoulders and started wiping her face carefully with it had she realized she was trembling all the time. Still staring at Minjoo, she gritted her teeth at the growing desire to ask for a hug and just dug the nails into her palms, trying to focus on tender touches on her face.

It took her a while to force the word out of her dry throat. "Minjoo."

She saw Minjoo stop, and in a slow motion, the other girl lifted her head a little bit and met Yujin's vulnarable eyes.

To see Yujin like that- to see the pain in her tearing up eyes, to understand that this was the first time for both of them-

How much it had broken Minjoo, Yujin would never know.

"It's raining." She whispered, nearly on the verge of breaking down.

"I know." Minjoo said quietly. "I will sing for you."

***

It was terrible.

Everything inside her was burning as a flame. Her breath was hot, her skin was boiling, and there wasn't a part belonging to her that did not ache.

The past. The present. The future.

Nothing. Or three of them.

They kept blending in while she kept crying.

Crying. She had never cried like this before, as if all the patterns had disappeared. Right now, it was the small kid Yujin who got sick and she just wanted to go back home.

Home.

She missed her mom. She missed her house. She missed their orchard and she missed her white cherry tree. She missed her old days when everything was simple and her mom could lift her up easily as she smelled rice cake scent on her clothes.

Someone held her left hand. Then her other hand.

She wanted to open her eyes to see who was that, or who were that, but she could not push her eyes open. There was no strength left in her body. Crying didn't need her to be physically strong, so that's the only thing she could do now.

Another hand touched her forehead then proceeded to wipe the tears rolling down continuously on her cheeks. After that, she heard someone start singing, her voice was so soft and warm like her home, and she cried herself to sleep.

***

It was dark.

She felt thirsty. Really thirsty. She moved her eyes slowly and met Wonyoung's face. "Hey." She whispered. The girl looked like she's sleeping with her back against the wall and her head on the side.

Wonyoung opened her eyes immediately at her call. "Hey." She scooted closer to Yujin and placed the back of her hand on Yujin's forehead. "Good. It went down a bit. How do you feel now?"

"Thirsty."

Wonyoung took out her canteen instantly. "Here." At the same time, there were sounds of movement as someone softly held Yujin's head and her back so they could raise her upper body a little bit. Her gaze landed on Hyewon's worried face. Behind her appeared Chaeyeon and Sakura. They were all watching her.

"Thank you." She said to all of them after Wonyoung helped her to drink. Hyewon put her head back to something like a hard pillow.

Only throwing her a smile, Wonyoung took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"Where's everyone else?"

"The next room. We were worried you might find it hard to breathe if everybody was here."

"Did anyone except me get sick?"

"No. Just you."

"Good." Yujin breathed out, doing something like a nod. "Good."

"Would be better if it included you as well." Wonyoung said.

Yujin avoided her gaze, feeling something sinking inside her. "I'm sorry."

Wonyoung held her hand tighter. "For what reason? You did nothing wrong."

"I did. I got a fever and I made everyone worry about me."

"That's ridiculous." Sakura suddenly spoke up. "No one ever taught me that's something wrong. You need to learn about that again."

They chuckled weakly at Sakura's sarcastic remark. "I'm sorry about that." Chaeyeon reached out to Yujin's other hand which was curling in Hyewon's. "Her sarcasm won't let you off the hook even when you are a patient."

"You should have warned me earlier." Yujin muttered, and they laughed again.

Followed after that was a silence. Only silence. They, once again, were watching her while Yujin let her eyes stop anywhere it liked so she could focus her thoughts on the person she had hoped to see her here. She knew they were wondering what had pushed her through her limits and made her weep like a baby like that, and she's aware they were very cautious around her now. I'm fine. She wanted to tell her that. But she could not. They would know it was a lie. A part of her had changed and that was a fact to everyone now. But I will be better. She thought, and they also must have known this. I will be better.

The door creaked open, allowing a familiar scent sneaking its way to Yujin's nose. She let out a deep breath and felt the corners of her lips curling up. She was still sick and her eyelids started to get heavy, but she would be better.

Minjoo seated herself next to Wonyoung before giving her a soft smile. "You're awake."

She held Where have you been? in and only blinked slowly as a response.

It was as though Minjoo could read her mind, like always. "We have nothing except biscuits and porks and berries here. I've searched the kitchen three times already but," she shook her head in disappointment, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Yujin whispered, beaming at her. "And it's alright. I don't need more." I only need you to stay.

Wonyoung was staring at the floor with this kind of warmth in her eyes, and despite her effort in hiding it, Yujin could point out it's a genuine smile she had on her face. You give more and you receive more.

Finally she could sleep now. Yujin closed her eyes, muttering. "Please sing for me?"

She heard Minjoo shyly answer. "Of course."

With another warmth on the tangled hands of her and Wonyoung's, she breathed in deeply and calmly, drowning herself in the soft voice with the praying repeated itself in her mind.

Please guide them back safely.

Please guide them back safely.

***

The fever went up then down, unpredictable like everything in their lives.

Biscuits. Water. Minjoo's voice. Everyone's soft hold on her.

Yet still, fever.

Why the hell it couldn't leave her alone?

***

So quiet.

She bent her fingers into the palms. No one's holding her hands.

At long last, she opened her eyes, still stucked between reality and her dream.

What day was it?

Where was everyone?

Was this just a dream?

Yujin, still weak yet no longer sick, pushed herself up. At least four blankets slid down from her chest, revealing her shirt. Her tunic. They had to take it off since it was drenched in raindrops. Where was it? Yujin scanned the place and landed her gaze on the table on a corner. There it was. She slowly stood up as her body trembling a little bit. She's so hungry that she could wolf down food as fast as Hyewon now.

Her bags were laying right next to her tunic. She wore them one by one and at long last, she took out a pack of biscuits and literally pushed one into .

It was hard to chew, but it was harder to bear the extreme hunger. She got her canteen and drank some water to make it easier to swallow. God, they all had come to befriend with the fact that they almost had nothing to eat, but she'd never felt this hungry before. The fever must have decided to take everything inside her stomach together with its leave.

It was so good to be normal again. Yujin looked around the room. But where was everybody?

She noticed the door was left ajar yet not big enough to let the wind in. One step then another, she walked closer to it, intending to find her friends but Chaeyeon's voice had stopped her before her hand could even touch the wooden door.

"How did it happen?" There was something in her voice that sent a chill down to Yujin's spine. She approached the door frame carefully and saw several backs facing her through the small space. None of them noticed her.

"We caught four men before they came." A voice she could not recognize spoke up. "We were thinking if we should hold them prisoners or not when your friends walked in with Private Kim, and she was holding the letters in her hands."

Another voice continued where the stranger had left. "It happened really fast." She sounded as if the memory pained her. "They pushed me and I fell onto the ground, dropping the letters. One seized an envelope and he read the dates and the names outloud with a knife on his hand. Turned out they cut the ropes with their hidden knives and- I really don't know, it seemed like they chose to die instead of being alive as our prisoners. He said that before he died he would take the letter of this person away with him."

There was a pause, then Yuri said heavily. "Yena jumped at him with her bare hands, didn't she?"

The second stranger took a few seconds to force out the answer. "I'm so sorry. It happened really fast."

"No, no. It's not your fault." Chaeyeon shook her head. "We know her. That's a Yena thing for her to do." Someone chuckled weakly at this. Sounded like Yuri. "It could have gone worse had it not been for you. Thank you."

"That's the least we can do for her." The first stranger said firmly. "She didn't even care about the stab, she just held the letter close to her chest with her clean hand while asking Jiwon and Sergeant Kwon to collect the other letters. "Get them all! Get them all!" She kept yelling at them like that. Not even mind her own wound and the blood..." Another pause, then Yujin heard her saying. "She's got our respect."

Chaeyeon and Yuri stood still, breathing quietly, maybe trying to figure out what to say next. The second person broke the silence hesitantly, dropping her voice into a whisper, hoping only Chaeyeon and Yuri would know this information. However, Yujin found herself listening to it as clear as the stab through her heart after each words.

"When the medical officers left, she was still half awake to wait for me. She grabbed my hands and asked me about the letters, especially the one which was almost torn apart. I couldn't give my answer to her as she fainted right after that, so please, when she wakes up again, please tell her that Private Kim- Kim Jiwoo, had made sure to deliver all the mails, including Ahn Yujin's one. Tell her that there's nothing to worry about, and Ahn Yujin's family would receive the mail very soon."

Even when they had left to whichever place only they knew, Yujin was still standing on her spot, the gear in her head was working non stop and the room kept spinning widly. With how fast her mind was moving right now, it's supposed to provide her a lot of thoughts, not repeating a sentence over and over as a needle drawing the tattoo on her brain and her soul.

Yena was hurt, and it was because of her.

***

Eunbi, who could not let go of Minjoo and vice versa, pushed the door carefully with a wide smile on her face. Yena's still sleeping peacefully- lucky for them, or else she would jump right at the sick girl and crushed their only puppy with her weight right now. It might damage her stitches? No doubt. Would she still do it then? Of course.

God bless Choi Yena.

"Yujin?" Eunbi called softly, her eyes scanning the- to her surprise- empty room and found Yujin nowhere to be seen. On the table lied the neatly folded blankets, which was enough to tell them the scene they pictured before they stepped into the room was no longer existed.

"Where is she?" She asked, turning to Minjoo. The confused expression of Minjoo flipped her stomach over.

"I don't know." Minjoo said, started walking backwards as she released Eunbi. "She's supposed to lie there." She pointed a shaking finger to the spot she had seated next to last three days. "I was the last one who saw her, and she was lying there, right there."

Not waiting for Eunbi to answer, she turned around and began to run.

***

"You were petrified for three days straight and the first thing you do is to play hide-and-seek with us? I took back what I said, you are a bastard, Ahn Yujin."

The tall girl flinched at the unexpected presence, couldn't bring herself to look at the last person she wished to see at this moment. She loved nature with her whole heart, but never in her life had the grass captivated her for this strong. Forcing out a tight smile, she muttered a small sorry and continued to play with her fingers.

Yujin looked almost like a different person, but Yuri, whose lover was an expert at hiding her true feelings, knew more than this.

Just as how she carefully embraced Yena, she approached Yujin softly with tender breaths, keeping a right distance between them.

"Do you know," Yuri started gently, "sometimes I still feel like you are not real."

That managed to grab Yujin's attention. "Why?"

It's lucky that Yuri refused to meet her gaze. She didn't know how to bear the guilt if the girl was looking at her. "Because people like you are so rare."

She had considered what about her was so special that it could bring her to that unique list, but it couldn't last for a minute. She hated herself with her whole being. "I'm not rare. If there's anything, I'm just bad luck."

She had avoided to use the word bastard. Yuri glanced to her, who was now drawing circles on the grass. "Why did you think like that?"

Yujin shrugged, choosing to keep quiet.

"Why? Because something that none of us could predict happened and here you are trying to beat yourself over it?" Yuri could be so blunt sometimes with the hard truth. That how she was. You gotta find a way to cope with it. "You are not even the evil type to begin with, Ahn Yujin."

"Maybe I'm not." Her eyes were becoming watery as she spoke exasperatedly, but not at Yuri. "But I should not have given her that letter. I should have just kept it and-"

She skipped a beat, trying to hold back all the tears. After a moment, she said. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It's not your fault."

"I'm not only talking about I could not control myself."

"I know." Yuri said. "It's not your fault." She then added. "And you controlled yourself well. That couldn't even be counted as raising your voice."

Yujin dropped her head. Sill felt guilty, still felt shame.

"You do know that Yena would do the same thing even if it's someone else's letter right? That's who she is. A lovely brave fool. No one wanted this to happen, especially you. You can't take the responsibility for something that you did not do. Think it as this way: it could haven been my letter, or Minjoo's letter, or even Wonyoung's. If it was one of us, you would see everything the same way I do." Yuri scooted closer to her. "It's not your fault, Yujin."

She was crying. "But I can't look at you without feeling guilty. I can't look at her without feeling guilty, and I can't stand in front of anyone without feeling ashamed." She could not hold it in anymore. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

She felt Yuri's arms around her shoulders and her head was being pulled softly until it rested under Yuri's chin. "Oh Yujin, let it out puppy. Let it all out."

She did what Yuri told her to. The girl held Yujin until she stopped sobbing. "Hey." Yuri cupped her cheeks and lifted her head up. "No one is mad at you and no one blames you. Only you are doing that to yourself. Do some maths, Yujin. We could have other three equations: you gave, Yena was alright; you didn't, Yena still got hurt; and you didn't, Yena was alright. Then what was the reason?" Yuri looked at her in the eyes. "Look into my eyes, Yujin. You cannot embrace the whole world. The wrong one is that jerk. You are not responsible for anything here."

Yuri then fixed her hair affectionately. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You are so loveable. One must lose their mind if they don't like you."

Yujin laughed weakly. "But there will be someone who won't like me."

"Screw them. You deserve all the love in this world, Yujin."

Yujin lowered her gaze in shyness. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Thank you." She patted Yujin's cheeks softly. "Thank you for coming into our lives. Along with your team, you are the best thing that ever happened to us."

***

Two people were waiting for her when she came back. She raised an eyebrow at them. "What is this?"

"We need some air." Minjoo said.

"Liar." Yuri smirked. "You were worried about Yujin."

"You said as if you weren't."

"At least I dare to admit."

"Wow." Wonyoung swiftly cut both of them off before a fight broke. She had gained enough experiences to deal with this situation just in a short span of time. "Group hug! Come on!"

In the warm arms of Wonyoung, Minjoo and Yuri chuckled, also circling their arms around others' waists.

Quietly yet simaltaneously, they all released a deep breath.

Eunbi and Yena were here. Yujin would come back to them soon. When she did, Yena, who had woken up by then, would hug her tightly until she could not breathe and had to beg Yena to let go in the constant reminders from Eunbi that Yena was about to make the wound bleed again. However, just as Yena kept refusing to release Yujin, the latter would soon find herself in the warmth of more people and knew that this was where she belonged to, that they were her family and one day she would learn how to leave some thoughts behind with the helps from everyone.

That, somehow, each of them could sense this: everything, all that existed, would be alright.

Tomorrow might break them down, but with people they loved and loved them back here,

everything, for real, would be alright.

"Private Kim and Lance Corporal Ha will stay until dawn right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Wonyoung glanced to the small dot in her view, answering Yuri. "Just want to make sure."

***

For Kim Jiwoo and Ha Sooyoung, what they had gone through the last few days would stay with them for a long time, if they didn't want to say a life time. They, with others soldiers there, had had this in their minds the moment they caught the look in Yena's eyes. It remained the same even when blood was seeping through her shirt and painted her tunic a scarlet colour, for her attention was never on it.

Why, why they was so moved by the recollection of her lying on the ground, screaming in desperation, they had no idea. It could have been because they recognised it since almost every person there had got themselves a reason to come back alive. They were not very sure, but a month later, when the war was over and they finally got to see the ones they called 'home' again, they would understand. They would comprehend where the rage to those Van and the respect for Yena came from.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung, however, had not known that the one who's knocking on the door right now would carve the memory deeper into them.

Jiwoo opened the door after exchanging a quick look with Sooyoung. Standing in front of her was a tall soldier with a faint nervous expression on the face, which when she ignored, she could say that despite giving off a cold and scary image at first, this one was very gentle, warm and wise. She was sure of it. Those eyes would never lie.

"Hi." Jiwoo said, beaming brightly. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Hello." The soldier took in a deep breath. "Are you Private Kim- Kim Jiwoo?"

"That's me."

Sooyoung was watching them in silence. She seemed to realize who this person was.

"I'm sorry for sudden disturbance, I just really want to meet you." She looked away from Jiwoo for a quick second before continued. "You see, my name is Yujin. Ahn Yujin."

Stunning, Jiwoo stared at the beautiful person in front of her with her jaw dropped, still couldn't choose between squealing and pulling her into a hug when Sooyoung had appeared next to her.

"Corporal Ha. Ha Sooyoung" Ignoring the way Jiwoo let out a surprised yelp, she offered Yujin her hand. Yujin took it firmly. "Nice to meet you, Corporal Ahn."

"Thank you. I am glad to meet you too."

But shaking wasn't Jiwoo's thing. She wasn't built that way. Jiwoo had always been a different soldier with her bright and chaotic energy and she proved it again as she squeezed Yujin in a hug. "Oh my god! I have been so curious about you! I couldn't stop imagining what would you look like and what kind of person you were and-" Even a frantic Sooyoung could not stop Jiwoo. "Look at you! Aren't you an angel from above?"

Yujin's sure her cheeks had turned pink. "Thank you." Still smiling, she told Sooyoung. "It's alright. I've got used to this thanks to my friends."

Sooyoung just chuckled and shook her head.

"But." Jiwoo released the girl with a worried face. "Why are you here? You should go and see Yena, she must be waiting to meet you now!"

"Actually I will visit her right after this." Yujin said softly before changing her expression to a more serious one. "I just really want to see both of you."

She inhaled deeply. "Private Kim, Corporal Ha- thank you. Thank you for everything."

They watched her as she bowed down. When she looked at them again, both Jiwoo and Sooyoung were giving her loving smiles.

"I kind of understand why Yena loves you a lot." Jiwoo said.

Yujin could have sworn Sooyoung had nodded lightly there.

"Corporal Ahn." Sooyoung said. "I'm very sorry we didn't find out about those bastards faster."

Yujin stared at her. "It was my letter." She heard Yuri talk to her. "I don't think we should take the blame for the Van."

Now Sooyoung was nodding. "Good." She repeated it again. "Good." They were all smiling.

Jiwoo pulled her into a last hug. Jiwoo and her hugs. She surely gave the best hugs. "It's nice meeting you." She told Yujin sincerely. "Really nice."

Yujin didn't understand why, but a part of her wanted to tear up. Jiwoo and Sooyoung were good people, and Jiwoo was so full of love. Somtimes it's like that, when their hearts touch your heart, you will be moved. Even if it's just a short moment for her to meet these wonderful people, she would treasure it until she died.

"It's the same for me." Yujin wrapped her arms around Jiwoo gently. "Thank you."

She then saluted at them playfully, ready to leave. Sooyoung and Jiwoo grinned and saluted at her back.

"Hey Corporal Ahn." Sooyoung called her as she was about to opened the door to where her friends were. She turned to them.

"Next time we meet, it will be Sooyoung and Jiwoo for you." She said. "Just Sooyoung and Jiwoo."

"Sure." Yujin breathed out a laugh. "Next time." She winked at them. "Just Yujin for you."

***

In her dream, her mom was smiling at her. White cherry petals were floating down like snow, and Yujin opened her tiny hands so some could land on her palms. She bent her thumbs down to caress the petals lightly then giggled at the smooth feeling on her skin.

Her mom was wearing her white coat and white scarf. Everyone was beautiful, but with Yujin, her mom was an angel in the form of a human that god decided to give her as the first gift.

At this moment, she believed in that more than ever. This was heaven, white heaven, and both of them were the happiest people with everything's so beautiful.

So, so, beautiful.

***

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

Minjoo jumped a bit at the sudden voice behind her, quickly facing a worried Yuri with a hand above her heart.

"Oh my god Yuri. Can you all stop doing that?"

Yuri grinned. "Not our fault you are so easy to startle. Now answer me, why are you out here and not rest with us?"

Minjoo shot her a look. "I've had something in my mind. What about you? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Yena now?"

Yuri shrugged. "I can spare some minutes to check on you."

"Oh thank you ma'am."

"You are in danger right now, Kim Minjoo." Yuri squinted her eyes to send a glare. "Are you going to surrender or I have to do something here?"

Minjoo directed her gaze back to the night sky. There were stars today, she smiled to herself. "Just a small thing."

Yuri observed her. At long last, she said. "I see."

There's something mischievous in her tone that grabbed Minjoo's attention. "What's with that smile?"

"Nothing." Yuri shrugged again. "I just see it."

"See what?"

"That face whenever you think about Yujin."

Minjoo could feel her cheeks getting hot. "Am I that obvious?" She placed her hands on her face. There's no point lying to Yuri.

"Yep." Yuri nodded. She saw Minjoo ran her fingers through the hair, the tip of her ear was visible red.

"I think I'm turning crazy."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I can't control it, as though any moment it could sweep me off my own feet and drown me."

"In love? That's not a bad thing."

"No, maybe it's not."

"Maybe?"

Minjoo bit her under lip. She shut her eyes then opened again. "Have you ever-" She turned her head to Yuri's direction. "Have you ever had this feeling when you just look at them and you suddenly understand why it is so easy to fall in love with them and sort of," she paused in shyness, "fall in love with them all over again?"

They were looking at each other, and then Yuri let out a sweet smile. "I have."

She knew she could trust Yuri. She knew Yuri would understand. "Really?"

"Yeah. Is that why you were silent the whole night?"

Minjoo could only nod. She had barely said anything from the moment Yujin was almost tackled down by Yena to when they decided to sleep together for the first time. It was a bit small even when they had moved all the tables to the next room and Hyewon, Sakura, Chaeyeon, and Chaewon had volunteered to take the shift, but they could deal with that. Minjoo, however, found the fact that she was sleeping in the same room with Yujin did not help her at all in calming the waves inside. When she's sure everyone had fallen asleep, she sat up soundlessly and stared at Yujin's peaceful face. With or without Wonyoung and Eunbi between them, she knew that she could not stop thinking about Yujin, but she's also aware that had it not been for Eunbi and Wonyoung, everything could have been worse.

When she could not handle it anymore, she got on her feet and left the room without a sound.

"You are so in love with her." Yuri giggled. Minjoo nudged her playfully.

"You are not helping."

"Why should I? And it's not a bad thing to be honest. You are just... overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed." Minjoo muttered. "That's the right word."

"Hey." Yuri put her arm around Minjoo's shoulders. "As your superior in love field, I can assure you that even now I still feel overwhelmed by my love for Yena."

Minjoo glared at her and snorted. "Why do I feel like you are bragging about it?"

"Because I am."

"Stay away from me."

Yuri laughed out loud, her arm still remained around Minjoo's shoulder so Minjoo could feel her body shaking with laughter. "Hey, but seriously, that's a good thing."

"I know. I like it anyway."

"Like what?" Yuri asked innocently.

Being friend with Yuri for a long time now allowed her to know that Yuri was trying to make her admit it. Usually she would bicker with Yuri until they got tired, but at this moment, Minjoo just ran her fingers through her hair again, attempting to hide her wide smile.

"That I am so in love with her."