Title: Making Decisions

Genre: Romance, Angst

Rating: PG

Words: 1274

Guest-Starring: N.A.

-

Siwon stirred awake and covered his eyes with his hand as the sun rays shined through the glass window, piercing into his eyes. His left hand reached for the other side of the bed and he felt the soft mattress material beneath his fingers. The space was cold and there was a lack of human warmth which used to be present every morning.

-

“You said this won’t happen again!” She shouted at him before burying her face in her hands and sobbing.

Siwon stood there helplessly as he watched the woman he loved most in his life cry her heart out. His heart was aching and he reached out to place his hand on her shoulder but quickly retreated. He was sorry to make her cry, when she usually has a sweet, cheerful smile on her face. Time and time again, he has been a disappointment to her.

Many would consider Siwon to be an ideal man. Countless women would desire to be married to him as Yuri was. But few would understand the pain she was going through.  

Siwon touched the bandaged wrapped around his shoulder blade and felt a sharp stinging pain rising again. He had been shot by a robber two nights ago and should be dead by now. But thankfully, the bullet missed his heart just by a few inches and he was still standing here in his apartment. He was breathing, alive but very afraid.

“I’m sorry, Yuri. I can’t leave my job. I want to protect the city where my loved ones live in. It has been my dream to be a police officer my whole life.”

Yuri looked at him, her dark eyes like burning coals.

“Do you know how hard it is for me to get through every day? Whenever I kiss you goodbye when you go to work, I start to worry that you may never walk back through that door again! I can’t go to sleep without praying for your safety and crying myself to sleep!”

Yuri turned around, afraid to look at him and to let him see her weary face. Siwon enveloped her in his embrace from behind and placed his chin on her shoulder.

“I promise you, I’ll be safe. It won’t happen again, I’ll make sure I make it back home to you every day.”

His voice was determined and confident. But how could he be sure that he would not be shot at or stabbed again by the criminals he pursues?

Yuri’s voice was soft and weak. She was choking back her tears and resisting his touch. But Siwon tightened his embrace and softly nibbled her earlobe.

“It’s not just about me anymore, it’s about us. I’m pregnant.”

Siwon’s heart beat accelerated. He placed his hands on her belly and kissed Yuri’s neck.

“You can’t let our baby be born without a father. We can’t live without you.”

She turned around and wrapped her arms around his muscular body, which he had developed after years of intensive training.

“I know it’s wrong of me to force you to give up your lifetime dream. But can you let me be selfish just this once? I never ask much from you. I never complaint when you couldn’t be there for me when I needed you most.”

Siwon’s mind flashed back to the horrible memory that they had both been trying to suppress for the past two years. Just after they got married, Yuri found out that she was pregnant. The newly-married couple was excited to be expecting their first child together. Months into the pregnancy, Yuri was alone at home in the middle of the night and had a slip. They lost the baby. Yuri was devastated and cried for nights. But even at her lowest moments, Siwon could not be there for her all the time because of his work commitments. 

“Yuri, I’m sorry that I have been such a bad husband.”

He her head and ran his fingers through her dark, silky hair.

“Can you grant me just one wish? Can you leave your job and take up a safer job? My dad wants you to take over his shop. We can run it together.”

She kept quiet and the only thing audible in their house was their breathing. She anticipated his answer, which she knew was most likely going to break her heart. How could she ask him to give up his dream and his father’s legacy? Being the son of a police officer who died in the line of duty, Siwon has always aspired to be a hero just like his dad. Yuri knows how much he loves his job and how much he wanted to be as outstanding as his father.

Siwon bit his lips and thought hard. He could not imagine his life not being a police officer. It was his pride and his joy. Would there still be any meaning in his life if he quit his job? But he could not imagine life without Yuri as well. They had been together since high school. He never thought that one day he was going to marry the most beautiful girl in school. She had been a virtuous wife, ever so faithful and understanding to him.

Siwon was about to open his mouth to speak but she spoke first.

“Siwon, I love you. I won’t make this hard for you.”

She kissed him on the lips and they shared a long kiss as tears rolled down her cheeks. She broke away from the kiss first as he looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“Goodbye.”

Yuri walked out of the door as Siwon remained rooted to the ground.

“Wait!”

He called out for her and quickened his pace to catch up with her. Yuri turned around and looked at him with a blank expression.

“Yuri, I love you very much and I cannot imagine my life without you. I’m sorry for making you live in misery and not being able to be there for you. If I have to make a choice between losing you and my dream, I would rather give up the latter. You’re the most important person in my life now. It will be meaningless for me to protect other people but be unable to even protect the one I love the most.”

A bright smile formed on Yuri’s face as she caressed his cheek.

“I can’t imagine my life without you either. Siwon, I love you very much and I know I made the right choice to marry you.”

“I’ll hand in a resignation letter tomorrow.”

-

Siwon walked out of the bedroom and entered the baby room adjacent to theirs. He was greeted by the sight of his beloved wife holding their baby in her arms and feeding him lovingly. She was smiling blissfully as she watched her baby fill his hungry stomach.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

Yuri looked up as her eyes met her husband’s. Siwon walked towards her and kissed her on the forehead.

“You didn’t get to sleep well last night?”

He asked in a concerned voice.

Yuri chuckled.

“This little man here kept me awake most of the time because he wouldn’t stop crying unless I hold him in my arms. I’m exhausted.”

“You should have woken me up.”

“You looked tired from a long day at work. I couldn’t bear to disturb you.”

Siwon knew that he had made the right decision to not let the mother of his child walk out of his life on that fateful day when he almost made the biggest mistake in his life.

“Yuri, I love you.”