FLASHBACK

 

Early on in her teenage years, Sandara was fully aware that she was intellectually gifted, smart even. Bagging almost all the academic awards her school has invented, she can even pass off as a genius. One can hope.

 

But when it comes to realizing her own feelings, she was just plain stupid.

 

Though, in her defense, there was no textbook explaining the mechanisms of falling in love with someone and how you would realize that you care deeply for that someone that goes way beyond friendship.

 

For the nth time that day, Sandara released a long sigh.

 

Now that she was fully aware of her feelings, she now faces another problem.

 

How will I tell him?

 

She had prided herself for being courageous; braving every dilemma that comes into her way head on. She remembered how her mom would tell her that setting aside her problems would just be delaying the inevitable, the more you ignore the issue, the more it’ll affect you in the long run.

 

But for some reason, she wasn’t feeling all too valiant about coming clean with her feelings to her best friend.

 

Not when their friendship might be on the line.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

 

That brought her out of her reverie.

 

Turning to her right, Dara looked at the embodiment of her dilemma.

 

Kwon Jiyong.

 

Sandara tried remembering when they started being friends; maybe it was when both their mothers started becoming friends shortly after Jiyong and his family moved in on their quaint neighborhood, or maybe it was when Jiyong started giving his yellow colored pencil to her during their coloring time because for some unknown reason, hers always breaks even before she started her masterpiece.

 

She couldn’t really remember when their friendship started, all she could ever remember was there was not a single waking moment ever since they celebrated their sixth birthday, that they have been separated.

 

Their parents even quipped them when they entered high school that when they grew older, they could just marry each other since they are both so fond of being together.

 

Sandara laughed at that, thinking of it as an absurd joke back then.

 

But she was looking forward to doing just that now, actually.

 

Marrying Jiyong.

 

Dara had to put a stop to where her mind was wandering. It was going so far into delusion, she hasn’t even confessed her feelings yet.

 

Get a grip! You’re in so deep you might have a hard time crawling back up if this doesn’t end well. She scolded herself as she released another sigh.

 

“Whenever you’re done talking to yourself in your head, my ears are ready to listen to your rants,” Jiyong chimed in, breaking through her thoughts, as he offered her a pack of orange juice.

 

After being friends for almost all their lives, it really is impossible for one of them to keep a secret from the other.

 

So how was she going to keep her feelings under wraps if she decided to conceal her new found discovery?

 

“Oh by the way, it’s your parents’ death anniversary tomorrow. We’ll do the usual?”

 

Both her parents passed away three years ago, some freak accident. She struggled during those times, she almost dropped out of school. Being an only child, with her parents gone, she was left all alone.

 

But Jiyong reminded her that even if her parents were gone, she’ll never be alone.

 

He was always there, he was everywhere.

 

“Do you have any plans now?” She asked, suddenly having an idea on what to do.

 

“Do you?” he questioned back, a subtle smile playing at the corner of his lips.

 

“Why do you always answer my question with a question?” Frustrated, but also amused, Dara playfully punched Jiyong by his shoulders.

 

“Well, I’m down with anything you’d like to do. As long as it’s legal..” Jiyong was rubbing the spot where her fist came in contact with his flesh, trying to act like it hurt, ..“but on second thought, I can’t let you do anything illegal alone. I can’t let you go to jail alone, it has to be the both of us.”

 

Sandara laughed as she grabbed Jiyong by the hand and started dragging him to where his car was parked. And much to her delight, Jiyong didn’t utter any single protest.

 

Hope this goes well.

 

__________________

 

Forty five minutes of drive later, they were both sitting on a freshly mowed lawn of the cemetery where Sandara’s parents laid in their rest. In their hands were the greasiest cheeseburger they could get their hands into, Dara’s parents’ favorite when they were both still alive.

 

Mom, I’m scared.

 

Sandara took a hesitant bite on her burger, the corner of her eyes following Jiyong’s moves.

 

She was a nervous wreck, and she hoped Jiyong was too immersed in his burger to notice that her hands were shaking.

 

“You clutz,” Jiyong remarked as he nonchalantly wiped the corner of with his thumb, not aware of the effect it had on Sandara, but she remained silent as she battled with herself if this was a good idea.

 

“You okay?” he asked, concern written all over his face as he faced her. “You’ve been really quiet and it’s kind of worrying me. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Dara gulped hard, her heart beating wildly inside her chest.

 

Now or never.

 

“Are yo—”

 

“I love you.”

 

Sandara panicked. She had this dialogue she planned on telling him, she was even racking her brain for something poetic, or something close to romantic, as she confessed her feelings, but those three words came rushing from the moment she opened her lips. Like they were rushing to get out into the open.

 

She was still panicking when Jiyong hadn't said any words. They were enveloped in silence, and it amplified the sound of her heart beating loudly inside her chest. Turning to her side to gauge his reaction, she was baffled seeing him smiling at her.

 

What does that smile mean?

 

“What did you just say?” he asked, but she was sure he heard her the time, based on the silly smile plastered on his lips.

 

“You heard me,” Sandara whined in her smallest voice, suddenly aware of the vulnerability she faced as she ripped her heart open for Jiyong to see.

 

“I want to hear it again. Please?”

 

“I love you.”

 

Repeating it for the second time, Sandara liked the sound of it. She liked the sound of her voice telling Jiyong how she felt.

 

“Took you long enough,” Jiyong replied as he reached out his hand and tucked the stray strands of hair behind her ear.

 

“What?” To say she was confused was an understatement.

 

“I’ve been waiting for you to say the words.”

 

“You knew?”

 

Jiyong nodded his head. “You sure took your time.”

 

“Wha—”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

She liked hearing Jiyong voice his feelings too. She liked it very much.