"Or is there something else going on?"

The familiar voice echoed in Yerin's mind as she woke up with a start. Panting, she turned the bedside lamp on and sat up. She closed her eyes to try to regulate her breathing. Her heart was beating fast, and it wasn't from fear.

It was from lust.

Why else would that particular scene keep replaying in her head? Except the ending was slightly different. In her dreams, she didn't run away. She didn't escape Jungkook's grasp, and his lips would eventually find their way to hers.

Although she racked her brains, she still couldn't entirely understand how it had come to this. What in the world had gotten into her since she had been back from London? It wasn't in her habit to lose control, and she hated when her brain deceived her like this. As if she suddenly lost her composure every time he was a little too close to her.

On top of that, she wouldn't get any time off from all the headache. She still had to go to work and face him, while he stayed true to his usual self: smart, talented, funny—and devilishly handsome.

They were both professionals, very good at pretending nothing had happened. And in truth, nothing had happened—yet. But it was a slippery slope, one she couldn't go down.

So why did she feel herself slowly falling?

 

*

 

Saying the next couple of weeks were complicated would be an understatement.

Yerin tried her best to act as normal as possible, but every interaction with Jungkook felt awkward—and she could only hope no one else would notice her discomfort.

She never thought she would one day be actually thankful to work with a mask. Having something to hide her true emotions behind was sometimes easier. If there was anything Yerin was good at, it was keeping up appearances—and this time would be no exception. Maybe that way, she would succeed in limiting the damage, and it would go away by itself.

But that was overlooking Jungkook's tenacity.

After their 'encounter' in Yoongi's room, it was clear to him their relationship was more than strictly professional—and he couldn't deny his attraction to her.

He was well aware how her behavior towards him had changed. How hard she was fighting to keep her distance while pretending she was treating him like everyone else.

But she couldn't elude him forever—and he would never admit defeat.

"Noona, you want the last Nutella donut?"

As Yerin was hemming Yoongi's pants, crouching, she turned around with a needle still between her teeth. Jungkook was showing her the almost empty box with a raised eyebrow. She blinked and frowned, before shaking her head and returning to her previous task.

"She's allergic to hazelnuts," Yoongi answered Jungkook's silent question.

That explained her confused look—but how was he supposed to know that? The maknae had a hard time hiding how annoyed he deeply felt every time his hyung did that—speaking for her. Soon, they would start finishing each other's sentences...

Jungkook's small attempt at getting closer to Yerin had been cut short—again. Visibly disappointed, he simply nodded and put the box back on the table.

"Rin," the rapper's voice snatched him from his brooding, "you remember that day when you ate half of my birthday chocolate cake just because you were mad at me?"

"Yeah, I was so pissed off I forgot it had hazelnuts in it," Yerin snorted. "My face blew up like a hot-air balloon!"

They both burst out laughing as Yerin stood up and started rearranging Yoongi's shirt.

There it was again, that knot in Jungkook's stomach that appeared lately whenever she would touch or even laugh with another man.

No, not with any other man—with Yoongi specifically.

She was their stylist, so the touching part was kind of her job, and it was also true she was a very tactile person—but it didn't bother him with his other hyungs.

Jungkook was purely and solely jealous.

Jealous of their closeness, of their past, of their shared memories. He too wanted to know everything about her—what she liked, what she hated, what she dreamed about.

He too wanted to have a nickname for her only he would use.

The maknae focused as much as he could during the live performance that followed but failed miserably. He almost missed a step a few times during the song, which only got him more worked up. It was even worse after they went off stage, when she helped them change and kept giggling foolishly every time Yoongi opened his mouth.

Were they... flirting?

True, maybe Jungkook's irritation was making him imagine things. His mind had been playing tricks on him ever since she had come back to work for them—and it didn't seem inclined to stop.

s weren't helping either.

That same evening, they invited Yerin at their dorm for a drink. All Jungkook wanted was to wallow in self-pity, but he couldn't have said anything without sounding suspicious.

That's how a few hours later, their favorite stylist arrived at the door delighted and her arms filled with beers and snacks.

"I brought supplies!" she squealed with a grin when Jimin opened.

The vocalist chuckled while letting her in and told her to put everything on the coffee table. Seated on the couch, Taehyung and Hoseok greeted Yerin enthusiastically and began emptying every bag of crisps. Jimin opened a beer and handed it out to her. She thanked him and was about to sit down when Namjoon emerged from the corridor..

"Noona," his face lit up as soon as he saw her, "you've come just at the right time."

She gave the leader an interrogating look as he grabbed a beer and sat next to Jimin.

"Can you go and get Jungkook?" he explained. "He's been unusually quiet and hasn't left his room since we came back."

Yerin's stomach flipped at the maknae's name.

Of course, she was prepared to see him since she was literally standing in his living-room, but interacting with him when all the other members were present always felt less weird. The idea of being alone with Jungkook was starting to make her panic.

She looked down to hide her inside turmoil.

"He seemed to think he missed his performance, but he really didn't," Hoseok explained while munching chips.

"Try to bribe him with snacks," Taehyung added, throwing her a bag of cookies that she caught clumsily. "Maybe he'll listen to you."

Come to think of it, Jungkook had seemed a little off after their recording, but she hadn't made much of it. Even superstars had the right to feel under the weather once in a while.

Yerin could tell the boys were worried, even if they didn't show it. And she couldn't avoid the maknae forever. I really can't say no, can I?

"I'll do my best," she displayed her most convincing smile while putting her beer down.

Under the benevolent gaze of the other members, she made her way to Jungkook's room with a determined look on her face. But once she arrived in front of Jungkook's bedroom door, all her imaginary confidence vanished in an instant.

It was absurd to think she would succeed whereas s—his closest friends—had failed. What credibility did she have? Why would he even listen to me?

She took a deep breath and eventually knocked on the white door.

"Jungkook, it's me", she tried to control the tremor in her voice. "Can I come in?"

No response.

After a minute or so, she knocked again. Still facing no reaction, she sighed and shook her head.

"Fine," she was starting to lose patience, "then I'm coming in."

She grabbed the handle and lowered it, closing her eyes in anticipation. Please don't be shirtless, please don't be shirtless, please don't be shirtless...

Slowly opening the door, she slipped her head and took a quick look.

Jungkook was sitting on his bed, eyes closed, headphones on, back against the wall and right arm resting on his pulled-up knee. His head was slightly bouncing to the muffled sound of whatever song he was listening to. He was wearing a large black T-shirt and simple grey sweatpants, but he looked so dazzling, Yerin's brain cells disconnected for a second as she felt a rush of blood creeping on her face.

Since he hadn't noticed her yet, she opened the door all the way while knocking more strongly to catch his attention. He opened his eyes and turned to her with a startled look.

"I brought some snacks."

With a grin, she raised her arm and waved the bag like a peace offering. Impassive, Jungkook simply shrugged without a word. She frowned and tilted her head before closing the door behind her and taking a few steps forward. The maknae fidgeted on his bed and watched with worried eyes as she came closer.

"Aren't you hungry? I don't think you've eaten anything since—"

"I'm fine," he snapped at her.

His eyes shifted to the side, and he ruffled his hair. You really think I'm gonna buy that? Yerin's shy smile disappeared, and she sighed.

"Your hyungs are worried about you. You're really not gonna join us?"

He shook his head without even looking at her and shut his eyes again. She scowled at him and crossed her arms on her chest.

It was true they had already spent most of the afternoon all together, so maybe he wanted to be left alone. But why act like a spoiled child instead of saying something?

Not letting herself get disheartened by his cold attitude, she sat on the bed right next to him and grabbed his headphones to remove them.

"What's wrong with you? Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jungkook blinked in disbelief. He was frustrated and upset; he didn't want to talk to her in this condition. But he couldn't resist those bright green eyes staring at him in concern and expectation.

She wasn't going to let it go, was she?

He clenched his teeth and took a deep breath, looking down.

"There's nothing to tell," his voice was sore. "I was distracted today and lost my focus. My performance ."

She seemed surprised for a second and a genuine smile formed on her lips. An unsure Jungkook was a rare sight. Something must have really troubled him...

All she wanted to do was hug him and tell him he was the most amazing artist she had ever seen. Instead, when she opened , she almost tripped on her words.

"I can assure you it didn't, no one noticed anything. Your fans will be thrilled. And for what it's worth, I think you were amazing."

Jungkook let out a nervous laugh.

"Aren't you confusing me with Yoongi hyung?" he hissed between his teeth.

Flustered, Yerin frowned with a questioning look. The maknae held back a curse and decided his best option was to keep talking to distract her and evade the issue.

"I've just made a lot of mistakes lately," he blurted out. "I feel like I keep disappointing everyone, especially myself..."

"You can't be at your best every single day. No one expects you to," her dimples showed as she grinned, softening his aching heart. "It's okay to make mistakes every once in a while but dwelling on them is counterproductive."

She opened the bag of cookies she had brought and presented it to him. He took one out and shoved it in his mouth, chewing without much conviction. She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. What a cutie. Was he doing this on purpose so she would keep showering him with compliments?

"Come on, Jungkook. You're the golden maknae! You can sing, dance, rap, draw, box... And you always look good doing it. It's seriously exhausting to watch how talented you are. Trust me, you can do anything if you set your mind to it."

Well, that was one hell of a pep talk—maybe a little over the top. It sounded way too much like a declaration of love to her liking. Yerin's cheeks heated and she shifted to hide her embarrassment. Please someone just kill me now.

But her speech had the opposite effect on the maknae. All the frustration that had built up over the day was starting to crack his apparent indifference. Her praises were making him feel like a child, and he hated to look so immature in front of her.

So weak.

"Anything except get the woman I want."

Yerin's face hardened instantly as she let out a faint "What?", incredulous.

Oops, another slip—but Jungkook wasn't going to get out of this one. He bit the inside of his cheek, throwing frenetic looks at the person sitting in front of him.

He couldn't think clearly anymore. He didn't understand why but seeing her so flustered was starting to push his buttons. Why would she keep burying her hand in the sand? If she wasn't going to take him seriously, he was going to show her.

It was too late to take it back after all, so why not go all the way?

"If I'm as great as you say, then why won't you even look at me?"

Before she could react, he placed a hand on the back of her neck and crashed his lips on hers.

Yerin blinked, unable to move. Her arms dangled on the side, and she heard the faint noise of the cookie bag she was holding falling on the floor.

She expected anything but that. Her brain shut down for a few seconds and her saliva remained stuck in . Goosebumps traveled down her spine as a thick fog was surrounding her mind.

After a few seconds, the maknae pressed his face closer to hers and the cold of his lip piercing was like an electroshock. She slowly took back control of herself and became aware of the sensation creeping inside her.

If she was honest with herself, Jungkook's kiss felt odd. Desperate, bitter—almost spiteful.

Like he was trying to prove something.

Disappointed and hurt, Yerin moved back, and the silence of the room was abruptly broken by the echo of her left hand slapping him.

Jungkook's eyes opened wide. Bewildered, he sneered while rubbing his cheek.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Yerin's voice was less neutral that she would have liked. Her breathing accelerated as she was staring at him, her heart leaping in her chest.

"Or is there something else going on?", Jungkook's voice resonated again in her head.

Who was she kidding? She wanted him, that was the answer to his question. That was the sad truth that had been lurking in the back for the past months and was now making everything fall like a house of cards.

How could she have let it come to this? How could she have been so careless?

Angry didn't even begin to cover it. She was furious—at herself far more than at Jungkook.

"You shouldn't have done that," she whispered.

Yerin bit her lip and moved further away from the young man.

Feeling down was no excuse to act crazy. What exactly did he want from her? Was it all a joke to him?

Of course, it was. No matter how hard she tried, she was always so obvious. Ridiculous.

Laughable.

All the while, Jungkook was observing her, speechless. He wanted to scream and explain himself, but no sound was coming out of his mouth.

She wouldn't even look at him anymore. Instead, she was frowning with a disgusted face.

His heart sank. He had messed up big time.

"Noona, I'm really sor—"

But Yerin didn't get to hear the rest. Almost mechanically, she got up and stepped out of the room with a blank stare.

When she walked back into the living-room, she didn't even notice Jin and Yoongi had joined the rest of the members. Both greeted her with a smile as the other boys started to ask her questions, but they all stopped as soon as they saw her pale face and teary eyes.

She grabbed her coat and bowed absent-mindedly.

"Sorry, guys, I'm not feeling too well. I'm gonna go home. Please keep the drinks and food, it's my treat."

Hoseok and Jimin started to protest, but Yoongi shut them up with one look.

Yerin had only time to hear Namjoon's dubious tone before closing the front door behind her.

"What in the world did Jungkook do?"

 

---