a/n sorry it took so long. it will take longer for me to push out chapters if you've read my blog due to me using voice typing but hopefully this is long enough for you to enjoy.

please, please, please don't be a silent reader! I know I have said this enough but it is quite disheartening, not going to lie.

That aside, thank you to those who have always shown their support. here are 40 pages for you.

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It was then and there something shifted in both Jaehyun and I. Something I could not put a finger on. He had recoiled and throughout the meeting, I knew that the change I had been waiting for had arrived. I stood beside Hansol, my ex-boyfriend and former partner studying my face closely as Kyungsoo said that I’d be partnered with him.

I did not fight Kyungsoo nor did Jaehyun. We did not say anything; Jaehyun’s eyes blank. I caught sight of Yena slipping her hand into his, her hand tightening as if they were always hers to hold. Like an owner who had found her puppy after all this time and she wouldn’t let him go.

Not anymore.

The meeting ended with silence, Jaehyun and I not looking at each other when I bowed to Kyungsoo and stepped away from the office.

“Nabi,” Hansol said and I felt him touch my elbow, turning to see his eyes on me. Wondering, hoping that there was hope for reconcilement but the problem wasn’t Hansol and it wasn’t Jaehyun. The problem was that I was so comfortable with how everything was, I didn’t want to step away from it. “I—”

“Why are you here, Hansol?” I asked softly. “You know I was transferred here. Why are you here?”

“I…” His voice trailed, Hansol his lips. “Russia was too hard on me, Nabi. They humbled me and I knew I wouldn’t last if I stayed. It was either Canada or NCT Center.”

“Then why not Canada?” I demanded.

“Because you’re here,” he admitted and I bit down on my lower lip. “Nabi, you’re my best friend. I don’t care if we are not going to end up together but all those years we’ve been training together? Do you think I wouldn’t at least try to get you back?”

“Why couldn’t you have tried harder when we broke up?” I asked, Hansol’s face falling.

“Is this because of Jung Jaehyun?” he asked back and I looked up at him to see that his eyebrows were furrowed. “I saw the articles.”

“They are just articles.”

“Then why are you acting like we can’t even be friends?”

“Because I know you don’t want to be just friends,” I replied and Hansol kept quiet, glancing down. “And I know I can’t go back to loving you the same anymore. I’m just being honest.”

“So casually cruel in the name of being honest, Nabi, that’s what you’re being,” he told me, looking up. “I see you haven’t changed.”

“Not much time has passed, if you didn’t notice.”

I closed my eyes before trying to handle my raging emotions. Annoyance was evident but I knew I was getting ahead of myself.

“If you pull the same thing you did back when we were at the East Coast Training Center—”

“Not anymore,” Hansol told me, shaking his head. “I promise you not anymore.”

I bit down on my lip, nodding slightly before stepping away when Hansol caught my wrist. He did it so carefully but when I did not fight him, he pulled me closer to hug me. He placed his face on my shoulder and for a moment, we stood there.

I reached up to pat his shoulder, Hansol sighing.

“I’ve missed you,” he told me. “and I wish you would say the same but...” He sounded choked and I pulled away, removing his hand from my body. “Nabi, you don’t know how much I regret what I did.”

“I don’t,” I murmured. “But I hope you do.”

“I do.” He smiled and for a moment, he looked like the Hansol I used to know. The Hansol I remembered from years ago. The one whose face would light up into a smile whenever I would kill an enemy. The one who would cheer me and the team on. He brought his lips to my forehead, kissing me softly. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

I bit my lip. “Keep it platonic, Hansol.”

He chuckled at my words. “No promises.”

Then he took my hand and a wave of familiarity washed through me. At the corner of my eye, I saw Jaehyun staring at us, Yena whispering something in his ear. One look behind me and I caught Jaehyun’s eye.

Unreadable. I sighed.

At least, I thought to myself.

At least Jaehyun had his nine back.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jaehyun watched Hansol hug her, his jaw tightening at the fact that she did not pull away. Why would she? It was Hansol. Jaehyun felt Yena’s hand on his waist, the female turning him around so he could look at her.

If it was a year ago, he’d have to admit that he was stupidly in love with her. Her fox eyes and her plump lips that used to drown him in as Jaehyun would find himself clamoring for her love and appreciation. But with her in front of him right now, Jaehyun wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Did you miss me?” she asked, a smile on her features. So soft. Just like how Jaehyun remembered her. “I’ve always wanted to come back for you, Jae.”

To haunt me again? To take me back into the palm of your hand? Jaehyun nodded silently, Yena rubbing his cheek. She was the one who left NCT Center so suddenly leaving him in the dust and now that she was back, he did not know what to think.

“You went to Hongkong, didn’t you?” he asked and she nodded, her hand back across her chest. He knew her body language. She had something to hide. “Why did you come back?”

“Hongkong wasn’t for me,” she answered simply.

“And NCT Center is?” he asked, Yena smiling at him.

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

He had so many things to say. How she didn’t even give him an explanation. How she just stood up and left and then there were articles about her with another partner—fan accounts, PR videos, and Jaehyun had watched them wondering what went wrong.

She didn’t even reply to his messages when he demanded answers. He deserved answers.

But he didn’t need them anymore, Jaehyun glancing over Yena’s shoulder to see that Nabi was gone. Most probably with Hansol. He sighed and Yena seemed to have noticed how he was, looking behind her before she spoke.

“Beautiful girl,” she murmured and for the first time, Jaehyun noticed a slight tinge of jealousy in her voice. “She does know that we’ve dated, does she?”

And that was what Yena always did. Mark her territory, keep him around her so he wouldn’t stray.

“She does,” Jaehyun answered and she smiled.

“Good. I won’t have to tell her then,” Yena replied, linking her arms with his. “I’m back now, baby. We’ve got so many things to do.”

The first thing Jaehyun noticed about himself was the feeling of dread that spread through him.

But he allowed himself to be dragged away by the one girl that hurt him.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was weird. Waking up with no message from Jaehyun. I told myself that it was normal to feel this way and that things weren’t going to be the same way it was anymore. I rolled over in my bed, my eyes on the time when it struck 5 am.

Great. I was so used to morning runs with Jaehyun, I no longer went for midnight runs alone. I sat up, a hand running through my long hair before I reached for a scrunchie to tie my hair up. I sat in the dark of my dorm room, telling myself that today would just be another day when my phone buzzed.

Jaehyun: come out

Speak of the devil.

After I read the text message, I went down from the bed and freshened up. I looked at myself in the mirror seeing how my eyes were red. I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I hated to admit it but it was taking a toll on me—everything was.

As I stepped out of my bedroom, I saw Jaehyun there. His gray hoodie and jogging pants, the male with his hands in his pockets. I shivered, zipping my own hoodie up before I forced a smile, Jaehyun’s lips tugging up for a moment.

I was so soft for him, wasn’t I? Because right then and there, thoughts of Hansol and Yena were wiped from my mind and I reached out just as he did. His hand tightened around mine, Jaehyun leaning against the wall.

“How are you?” he asked and I blinked. He sounded so careful, like he was walking on eggshells on what to say to me and I didn’t like it. But when I thought of speaking, I knew I felt the same. What if I said the wrong thing? What if I scared him away?

“I’m fine,” I answered. “You?”

“Same,” he told me before he looked down at our fingers that were intertwined. “Nabi.”

The way he said my name made my heart jump and I tilted my head at him, Jaehyun letting out a breath.

“This won’t change anything, right?” he asked and I frowned.

“Only if you won’t let it, Jaehyun,” I told him and he looked up, his eyes swirling with despair. “I’m doing whatever you’re doing.”

My road with Hansol was a road of friendship and I had made it very clear to him. Jaehyun’s path with Yena was something he would have to handle on his own.

“I wish I was as brave as you are,” he finally said, deep in thought.

“I’m not brave. I opt to be simple,” I told him, Jaehyun reaching up with his free hand to tweak my scrunchie. “Ow.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” he pointed out, breaking out a tired smile and I chuckled, tilting his face up before patting his cheek. “Don’t do that, Nabi.”

“Do what?”

“Act like we’re just friends.”

I blinked, Jaehyun’s shoulder relaxing. “Are we not?”

Jaehyun seemed to not know what to say to that, the male pulling me in for a hug and even if I allowed him to bury his face against my neck, I couldn’t help him.

“If you need clarity, it’s not from me, Jae.”

“I know,” Jaehyun murmured. “Just stand here for a moment, I need to clear my mind.”

I stood there in Jaehyun’s arms, not moving. I could feel his chest rise slowly, Jaehyun sighing.

“Is it helping?” I asked, Jaehyun chuckling against my shoulder.

“More than you think it is,” he told me and I smiled. He pulled away and I stepped to the side, Jaehyun shaking his head, not loosening up his arms. “Not yet.”

“You said a moment,” I pointed out.

“My moment is not over yet,” he told me and I laughed, Jaehyun leaning down to peck me on my lips experimentally. I did not kiss him back nor did I stop him, Jaehyun leaning back against the railings, both of us basking in the 5 am cold air when there was a thud and both of us looked to the side.

Almost automatically, Jaehyun dropped his hand from around my waist and I saw that Hansol was standing there.

“Oh.” Hansol blinked and Jaehyun coughed. “I… I just wanted to see if you wanted to go for a run and you weren’t answering your phone.”

I glanced down at my phone to see that I had three missed calls from Hansol, Jaehyun looking away awkwardly. I saw Hansol’s eyes bounce back and forth between me and Jaehyun when he raised an eyebrow.

“I can come back—”

“No, it’s fine. I’m heading back anyway,” Jaehyun said, patting my shoulder. “See you around, Nabi.”

“Sure,” I found myself replying. Jaehyun gave Hansol a friendly nod before he made his way down the hallway. With Jaehyun out of the earshot, I raised an eyebrow at Hansol. “You never run in the morning.”

“My schedule changed since I went to Russia,” he answered, his hand tightening the strings of his hoodie, the male looking behind him to where Jaehyun went. “I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?”

“Would you believe me if I said you weren’t?” I asked, Hansol chuckling.

“Nabi, I would expect you to be nicer to me.”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, Hansol.”

“And I told you no promises, didn’t I?” he asked back. He knew how stubborn I was. “You’re a hard person to break. You know what they say.”

“What?”

“Just because there is a goalie does not mean you can’t score.” He clicked his tongue. “That goalie for you is Jung Jaehyun. That the goalie for Jung Jaehyun is Hwang Yena. God, it’s a warzone.”

“Please,” I breathed, Hansol reaching up to cup my cheek. “It’s not even that complicated.”

“Just because you’re not complicated does not mean other people aren’t. Let me treat you like how I treat you, will you?” Hansol asked. “Doesn’t hurt to treat a friend nicely.”

I rolled my eyes, Hansol going down to my outfit.

“So… running?” he asked and I sighed, nodding. “By the way, good morning, beautiful.”

I didn’t say anything, moving away from him as Hansol jogged after me.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone seemed tense that Yena was back. I had no idea why that was but I didn’t want to get myself involved in past issues. I was walking down the hallway, a text from Hansol telling me that he was getting his skills configured when my phone buzzed and I saw that it was a text from Jeno.

Jeno: wait up

I frowned when I saw the text, wondering what it meant when there were sounds of thumping against the floor. I looked behind me to see that it was Jeno, the male jogging towards me with his backpack. He had arena shoes on and I looked around, expecting to see Jaemin but Jeno shook his head.

“Jaemin’s trying to change his main character, considering Aurora is off his list,” Jeno told me and I nodded. “Jaehyun hyung is there with him.”

“Ah,” I answered, Jeno tightening his backpack strap. “Does it hurt for you to call me ‘Noona’?”

Jeno was taken aback by my question, the male suddenly chuckling.

“Do you want me to?” he asked. Jeno had called me ‘Noona’ a couple of times but then again, I’ve always felt as if Jeno treated me more like a friend than an older person. “I can. It’s just weird.”

“Why?”

“You’re friends with Dana and Aera. Not to mention Bunny. I don’t even call Dana ‘Noona’. Don’t even get me started on Aera,” he told me, shrugging. “I just call her Shin Aera.”

“Mhm,” I hummed. “I guess just Nabi will do. You’re going to the arena, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I need to stop by the Control Center to give Doyoung hyung his lunch first.”

I nodded, deciding to accompany Jeno when we took a sharp turn to the Control Center when we heard two voices speaking. I strained my ears, Jeno grabbing my elbow to hold me back for a moment. I glanced at him to see that he was telling me to keep quiet.

“What did I tell you?” a voice demanded and I recognized it as Hwang Yena’s voice. “I told you that if you want your unit to succeed, you have to do whatever it takes for you to reach the top. I told you, didn’t I? Why don’t you ever listen?”

“Sorry, unnie.” The voice that answered was soft and Jeno frowned, both of us peeking from the side of the wall.

“Look, to be a permanent staff in the control center is hard, Yeji. You can’t just reach the top by following the rules,” Yena said to the younger female who was wearing a control center suit. “Lee Haechan’s zipline has to be configured, right? You know what to do?”

“Yes, Unnie.”

“You’ve done it before, right? You told me you’ve done it.”

“Yes, Unnie. Aera Sunbae took the blame,” the voice answered mildly.

“Then you can do it again.”

“Yes, Unnie. I’ll do it.”

“Good. No one knows you’re my sister, Yeji. We’re going to the top and I’m bringing all the people I care about with me,” Yena said and Jeno’s jaw fell open, the male pulling me away for a while when he cleared his throat and he pounded his feet against the floor to feign footsteps.

Both Jeno and I showed up from the side, Yena seeing us. If she was surprised to see us, she masked it well. She broke into a smile and I smiled back, Jeno staring at her from beside me.

“Oh… Hello,” Yena said, tilting her head to the side. She waved a hand and her sister scurried away. “Jeno.”

Jeno gave her a nod and Yena’s eyes fell on me.

“Park Nabi, isn’t it? I haven’t gotten the time to properly introduce myself. Hwang Yena.” She offered me her hand and I shook it, the female giving me a very sweet smile. “How are you, Jeno?”

Jeno grunted, not even bothering to reply to her when the door opened and Doyoung stuck his head out.

“Hyung,” Jeno said, moving away from both of us to give Doyoung his lunch. I turned back to Yena who was studying me, her eyes giving me a once over. It was hard not to feel judged by her, the female smirking when she sighed.

“I hear you’re one of the best Marksmen,” she quipped, her ponytail tied up high. “I’ll see you in the arena, then?”

“Of course,” I answered politely, Jeno glaring at Yena as she stalked away. Doyoung had retreated back to the control center and I my lips. “Are you done?”

“Mhm,” Jeno murmured before glancing towards me. “Are we going to pretend we didn’t hear that? Or?”

I had to admit that the whole conversation was kind of weird and the fact that Jeno heard it with me meant that I wasn’t overthinking it. Jeno must have seen how confused I looked, the male sighing as he walked beside me.

“Look, there is a reason why we don’t like Yena. I rather you talk to Yuta about it but after what I heard… I didn’t realize that she had a sister in the Control Center.”

“She said, verbatim: You did it before. Does that mean the whole thing with Yuta’s motorcycle being stuck the first day I came here was because of her sister?” I asked, Jeno looking deep in thought. “But why?”

“If we players have a system of deciding who is the best in ranking, the Control Center has the same system, too. Except it isn’t by individual… it’s by unit. If Yeji is Yena’s sister and is in control of the arena that Yena is playing in—”

“It’s illegal,” I butted in, Jeno nodding. “So she’s been asking her sister to sabotage the arena so her unit scores better than the other?”

“Seems like it.” Jeno frowned. “It has happened before, you know?”

“Really?”

“Before Yena got transferred, things went missing and suits were tampered with. But the fact that it continued even after she left made us think that it wasn’t her. We thought it was just the lack of management. She ed Jaehyun hyung big time, too.”

I didn’t ask him how and I thought it must have been the fact that they dated when I realized something. Jeno must have noticed how tense I was.

“Haechan’s zipline,” I told Jeno, the male nodding. “Jeno, Haechan could badly hurt himself if his zipline is tampered with.”

“If that happens, the unit that allowed it to happen is going to go into deep ,” Jeno murmured, rubbing his forehead. “I got this, Na—Noona.”

I rolled my eyes at how he corrected himself, Jeno giving a meek smile. “Should I tell someone?”

We exchanged looks, Jeno suddenly shaking his head. “Not yet. Accusation without evidence is meaningless.”

Jeno was right.

That afternoon, while we were all configuring all our suits, I sat beside Hansol who leaned down to tie my shoelaces for me. He acted so comfortable; I could see a few people giving me looks. Ten was whispering something to Sicheng, the male looking over to me and Hansol when they pointed over to Jaehyun and Yena who were on the bleachers behind us.

Hansol draped an arm over my shoulder and I crossed my legs, watching as Haechan tugged at his zipline so it went back into his suit. Jeno and Jaemin were a few feet far from where we sat. Jeno cleared his throat and his eyes met mine when Haechan said he was going to change into his suit.

“I feel like something is up with the suit,” Haechan, Jeno automatically standing up.

“I’ll configure it,” Jeno said, lowering his voice. Yena’s ears perked up and I saw her turn to see Jeno trying to take Haechan’s suit from him. Haechan frowned at him, wondering out loud why Jeno was trying to take the suit from him when Jeno sighed.

“Just let me do it,” Jeno said. Yena’s eyes fell on me and I quickly looked away but it didn’t take rocket science to know that she figured out that Jeno and I had walked into her conversation with her sister. She seemed relaxed, however, the female leaning back and placing a hand on Jaehyun’s thigh.

“Dude, why?”

“I’m going to make Fanny my hidden character,” Jeno said. That was believable enough, Haechan finally allowing Jeno to take the suit away. Jeno was fine dropping from high heights. Haechan would break a leg but all Jeno would go through was a bruised knee.

“Fine, you do it but give it back to me.”

It happened so fast, Jeno putting on the suit and zooming up to the ceiling. He glanced at me and right as he shot up as a signal; I let out a gasp, pointing at the viewing room. Everyone was startled by the sound that escaped my lips, their gaze on the viewing room when the sound of the zipline breaking echoed through the arena.

Just as we had expected, the zipline had snapped and Jeno was nowhere to be seen, Haechan gasping.

“! Jeno, what the !” Haechan said, running into the arena’s bushes to find Jeno. “Jeno, did anything break?”

A grunt from the mid-lane when Jaemin rushed towards the sound. I followed soon after, Jeno on his back as he feigned pain. He was holding his wrist and I noticed that he had turned to his side and I was actually worried he was hurt when Jeno sat up.

“I’m fine, just my wrist,” he said. “It snapped early. Not too high up.”

“Are you sure?” Yuta asked, the Japanese male kneeling down to inspect Jeno’s wrist. Jeno snatched his hand back instinctively.

“I was sure I saw him shoot up to the ceiling, though,” Hansol said from beside me. “Did my eyes play tricks on me?”

“You just lack sleep,” I told Hansol, trying to stray the conversation somewhere else but he shook his head.

“I slept eight hours last night. Longest I’ve slept in a while,” he told me. “Now I have to check my suit. Did you check yours?”

I shook my head, Hansol turning to me to feel the buttons on the sleeve of my suit.

“Sweetie, I think we need to check yours, too,” Yena could be heard saying and in my peripheral vision, I saw Hendery pretending to vomit. That caught me by surprise. Hendery was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

“It seems fine, right?” Hansol asked, fiddling with the sleeve of my suit when I nodded, Hansol’s hand going to the back of neck to tilt my head backwards. He squinted at my neck, a hand removing a loose thread before releasing me and I thanked him.

“Unit A of the Control Center has been ing up big time,” Chenle said and as Jeno heard that, he sat up. “Hyung, calm down. You might have broken something.”

“No, I’m fine,” Jeno said suddenly, brushing the suit off. “I know why it snapped. It was too tight and I bounced off the wall—”

“You didn’t, though,” Haechan pointed out, Jeno giving him a glare. It was obvious he didn’t want this to reach Doyoung or Unit A would face the consequences for something they didn’t do.

“He did,” I voiced. “He bounced off the wall. You guys didn’t see it because I thought I saw Kyungsoo watching us.”

“You gasped, Noona.” Jisung frowned, tilting his head. Everyone seemed to have forgotten.

“I… I thought I saw Kyungsoo and his… wife,” I lied through my teeth. “I’m a big fan of Mrs. Do. She used to be an amazing Legend player.”

I saw a satisfied look on Jeno’s face when everyone ate my lie up and did not question it. Jeno moved his wrist and winced, a soft voice asking if he was okay. Kim Bunny stared at his wrist, the female pouting at Jeno who nodded.

“Bunny, if you cry because Jeno is hurt—” Dana began, Bunny sniffling and Jaemin sighing. “Alright. Jeno, go to the infirmary. It’s good you aren’t that badly hurt.”

Haechan did not seem convinced but I guessed he knew that he had no choice but to go with it. I glanced at Jaehyun who was weirdly quiet. Practice went on as usual without Jeno but as soon as it ended, I noticed that Yena was whispering something to Jaehyun.

Her lips grazed his cheek, the female rubbing his cheek over and over again. Why did he seem like a lost puppy when he was with her? Like he was void of all his strength, not a single backbone when she was around?

“Nabi, lunch?” Hansol’s voice asked, his arm going around my waist to bring my attention back to him. “I packed two lunch boxes for us. My mom sent food yesterday.”

“I’ll see you in the cafeteria,” I told him, a hand removing his. Hansol blinked, the male finally nodding before I brought my attention back to Jaehyun who had disappeared back into the male locker room.

I followed him, everyone already going for lunch. I heard Haechan tell the rest that he’d go and see how Jeno was doing. I entered the locker room to see that Jaehyun was silently removing his suit when I greeted him.

“Hey.”

He didn’t turn around, muttering a small “Hey” under his breath and I raised an eyebrow at how he was acting.

“You and Hansol seem to be getting along well,” he finally said, a hand slamming the door of his locker shut.

“I can say the same thing for you and Yena,” I replied and his fist tightened for a moment before he sighed, turning to me. This Jaehyun was cold and underserving of comfort. I had no idea what he was going through but I knew that with the way he was acting, he was unhappy. “But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

I bit down on my lower lip, wondering how to word it before I decided to just be honest. “Jeno and I walked in on Yena talking about how to sabotage Haechan’s zipline.”

Jaehyun frowned at my words. “What are you talking about?”

“She has a sister named Yeji in the Control Center—”

“Nabi, that is impossible,” Jaehyun said to me. “Before we come into the Center, we get our background checked. You know that. Having a family member directly related or in charge of a player in the arena is against the rules of Battle of Peril.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say,” I finally said and Jaehyun breathed, a hand going to his waist. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, Jaehyun.”

“Yena is not that kind of person. She’s not the type of sabotage things, okay? She can be a bit ambitious sometimes but she—” Jaehyun paused, a hand going to pinch between his eyes. “But she’s not evil.”

“Are you saying I’m lying?” I cut him off, Jaehyun’s tongue poking out the side of his cheek. “I may care about you, Jaehyun, but I’m not the type to lie to get what I want. I don’t know about Yena.”

“She’s not what they think of her, Nabi. Have you ever thought that maybe the others who hate her might have gotten to you? The same way they got to you when they first told you about me?” he asked and I frowned at him.

“What does this have to do with me and you?” I asked, feeling increasingly frustrated at how Jaehyun was acting. “This is about her and what she does to other players in the arena.”

“She’s not like that,” Jaehyun snapped and I scoffed. Jaehyun’s face softened when he realized that he had snapped at me, the male taking a step closer to me to reach for my hand. “Look—”

“Enough,” I finally said, snatching my hand back. “Thanks, Jaehyun.”

His own hand recoiled and I shook my head. The feeling of betrayal was hard to ignore.

“You said you trusted me,” I murmured under my breath. “You said it made all the difference.”

It was hard to not sound accusing, Jaehyun’s eyes not leaving mine.

“Nabi…” His voice trailed. “Nabi, please.”

Please what? Please don’t doubt my partner? Please don’t stop caring?

“Jaehyun, if caring for you and talking to you is going to end with me feeling this way, I rather not.” I saw a slight look of panic flash through his eyes.

“You said it wouldn’t change anything.” This time it was he who sounded like he was accusing me with his tone.

“You changed everything, Jaehyun. Not me.” I sighed, shaking my head before turning towards the door but he grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him. It took me by surprise, Jaehyun refusing to let me go, the male leaning in to rest his forehead against mine.

“Nabi, I need you more than ever. Why can’t you see that?” he whispered and for a moment, I could hear how suffocated he felt. I closed my eyes, feeling his breath against my cheek when I told myself that I wasn’t the savior he thought I was.

“Deal with it yourself, Jae,” I told him, pushing him away. “I am not here to be collateral damage. It’s either you are on my side or you are not. It’s as simple as that.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jaehyun hated how simple Nabi was.

Yena being back had ed with his mind; Jaehyun watching Nabi exit the locker room before the door slammed shut. He sat down on the bench, burying his face in his hands when he groaned.

Yena was his first love and as much as he hated how she treated him; she had that power over him. She was his first kiss, his first partner that took his heart and held onto it. She was good to him and she was kind.

He opened up to her and she promised to protect him.

Sure, she had rumors about her that Jaehyun turned a blind eye to but he always thought that Yena was a good person. But as it became worse, Jaehyun had to get rid of the image he had of Yena in his mind.

It took a while, to realize that the disappointment that came with the expectation was hard to handle but now that she was back, he could feel the hope building back up.

“No one is going to love you as much as I do, Jaehyun,” Yena said one day. “Other people, they’ll turn their back on you but I will never do that. You know that, right?”

Jaehyun hated how he felt like he needed her love. Nabi was so close to pulling him away from that hell hole that he had buried himself under but now even Nabi had turned her back on him. The door of the locker room opened and Jaehyun looked up, hoping it was Nabi but it wasn’t.

“Jae?” Yena’s voice called out, the female tilting her head at him before frowning. “Who hurt you?”

This was why Jaehyun was so stuck with her. Her loyalty to him was tenfold and never once had Yena betrayed him. What she did with other people was different and Jaehyun knew it was a valid reason to push her away but he couldn’t.

Maybe he was selfish like that.

“Jae?” she asked again, a hand going to tilt his face up to search his eyes before her eyes flashed purple. “Tell me who hurt you.”

“No one,” Jaehyun lied. He knew… he knew deep down that if he did say something, something would happen. He was lying to himself that Yena was as good as he thought she was. Just because she was good to him did not mean that others got the same treatment as he did.  

“Good,” Yena breathed a sigh. “I’ll get rid of them if they ever hurt you.”

“What?” Jaehyun asked, Yena giving him a sweet smile.

“Nothing, sweetie. Come, let’s go for lunch. We’ve got our first quarter evaluations soon, right? We need to secure our first-place rankings.”

Jaehyun silently stood up to grab his bag before he paused.

“Yena, you wouldn’t lie to me, right?” he asked, Yena raising an eyebrow at his question. “Like if I asked you if you had something to do with the zipline, you’d tell me the truth… right?”

Yena blinked before her lips turned up into a smirk.

“Black lies, white lies,” she sang softly and Jaehyun felt her lips on his. He twitched, Yena pulling away and beaming. “The truth is what you believe in, Jaehyun, and you believe in me. You believe that everything I do is for you and for me… Don’t you?”

Before, he would agree.

Now, he had Nabi’s face flashing through his mind.

But once again, as she whispered sweet things in his ear of how she cared for him and how there would be no one who’d stand up for him like her; Jaehyun was swept away in a lie that made him feel safe in her world of deceit.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hansol was waiting by the entrance of the cafeteria and I could see that everyone was already sitting down. Yuta raised a hand for us to join him and it wasn’t long until I sat across from him, Dana looking around.

“Is Jaehyun not going to join us?” Dana asked, rolling her eyes. “Again?”

“Please. With Yena back?” Yuta said back to the female, shrugging. “Watch Jaehyun isolate himself from us. Hansol, what’s up? I’m Yuta.”

Hansol smiled politely, shaking Yuta’s hand firmly before falling to a seat beside me. He unpacked my food for me, placing it right in front of me. Dana sighed, playing with her food.

“I mean, why is that back, anyway? Was Hongkong not good enough for her? After she ghosted Jeffrey?” Dana snapped irritably, Yuta glancing at the female. I realized that I had two people with anger management issues right in front of me.

Hansol seemed to be taken aback by how loud they were, Jeno showing up behind me with Sicheng.

“Where were you? Is your arm okay?” Yuta asked, Jeno flexing is wrist. Sicheng sat down quietly beside Hansol, the male opening his milk. He and Hansol gave each other a nod. They must have met each other at the beginning of the day in their shared assassin classes.

“Just my wrist,” Jeno said, shrugging as Jaemin bounded up from behind us. He took a seat beside Jeno. “Did you tell them?”

I shook my head, Yuta and Dana leaning forward to ask me what I was hiding. It wasn’t long before Jeno told them what we heard from Yena and Yeji, Yuta making a face.

“Look, Yena was always kind of suspicious. Remember when Sicheng’s samurai sword went missing right before the game?” he asked. “And Jaehyun had to play in place of Sicheng?”

Sicheng nodded, halfway through chewing. “Jaehyun was always the top of the class then since we were in the same rank.”

“And the time Jaehyun’s ex-partner who was also a Marksman got stuck at recall. She couldn’t come back in time. Yena was their opponent.” Dana pressed her lips together. “You guys know that Hwang Yena is actually the daughter of one of the council members of the Battle of Peril?”

“She’s a halfling. Not an Ai, like Taeyong. I think she’s Class 1 cast, Veera, that’s why she seems more human than Taeyong.”

That was new news. “She’s a half Veera?”

“Yeah. Her eyes are somewhat purple under a certain light, can’t you tell?” Jaemin asked me and I shook my head.

“I wasn’t close enough to see her pupils,” I told him. “But if what you’re saying is correct, then she might be tried for conspiring with a Control Center staff and for sabotaging the arena in order to be number one in ranking.”

“Mhm,” Yuta said as he nodded. “I never trusted her. She was ing weird and the fact that her father is a council member? She gets to do what she wants. Kyungsoo has no power over her. You know what I hate? The fact that Jaehyun is so helpless when it comes to her.”

“Right? Like what the , dude?” Dana said, making a face. “And guess who told the Council about Yuta and Aera’s relationship?”

I blinked, Yuta scowling before slamming his fist down onto the table.

“Was it Yena?” Hansol caught on and I jumped, forgetting that he was beside me. Yuta nodded, snapping his fingers.

“She told them to conduct an investigation.” Sicheng cleared his throat. “Hwang Yena is the type who would tell you to watch your back with a small smile on her face.”

“ing hate that ,” Yuta said before a tray was placed right beside him and we looked up to see Jaehyun. “And you, too. I ing hate you.”

Jaehyun didn’t say anything, sliding into a seat before he unwrapped his burger.

“Just keep on talking, not like I’ll tell her what you guys say, anyway.”

Dana mimicked him, sticking her tongue out at Jaehyun who reached over and pulled on her tongue, Dana swatting his hand away. The conversation naturally moved away from Yena, Jaehyun silently eating his burger as everyone began to talk about trivial things.

“Done?” Hansol asked from beside me, my eyes on the phone because I received an email. It was from a Scouter and I read the rules and regulations. “Oh, Canada.”

I nodded when I felt a straw tap on my lip, Hansol holding a juice box up. Like habit, I sipped on the straw, my fingers typing a reply before I heard a thud. Everyone jumped to see that Jaehyun had stood up with his tray.

“Done eating already?” Sicheng asked his assassin friend, both me and Hansol looking up to see him nodding.

“Lost my appetite,” he answered. “See you guys in the arena.”

“What’s got his in a twist?” Dana complained, shrugging before turning back to Yuta to continue the conversation.

“A butterfly,” Jeno said softly from beside me. “New York’s butterfly.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Days had passed. Lunch came as usual, Hansol bounding up to me to swing a hand over my shoulder. I shoved him away playfully, Hansol grinning when he showed me his phone.

“Japan,” he said, waving the screen to my face.

“Did you get a Legend invite?” I asked, Hansol nodding. He looked happy, the male squeezing my shoulders when I asked him what he had to planned for the rest of the day.

“Same,” he admitted. “I was thinking of just eating lunch and heading back to sleep. What do you think?”

“Why are you asking me?” I asked, chuckling.

“Because I know you’ll be doing the same thing,” Hansol told me, winking. “Oh…”

He suddenly stopped when I looked up front to see Jaehyun in front of us. He stared at us before side-stepping to give us space to walk through.

“Waiting for Yena?” Hansol asked Jaehyun casually, the male giving him a silent nod before bringing his eyes back to the door of what seemed like Yena’s bedroom. When we walked past Jaehyun, Hansol whispered to me. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”

“Mhm, I wonder why.”

“Because he likes you,” Hansol said back, shrugging. I scoffed and he sighed. “If I knew that I had competition, I wouldn’t have come back for you, Nabi.”

“Now that you know, don’t you think that it’s time you head to Canada?” I asked, Hansol laughing softly.

“I pick my battles, but I don’t a