Chapter 42- Explanations
Rescue MeHe had given it ahead of time. Truth be told, he doesn't know whether he can fulfill the request he asked himself on a small piece of paper. It was something that had kept his mind preoccupied for almost a month. It was something even his closest friends knew and were worried for him, whether he can make it in time. However, it was the only chance he had. The only chance he had to settle things once and for all.. It'll all be do or die for him.
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It was a struggling walk for Key as he made his way towards a spot at the bridge by the Han River. He looked at his watch and it was exactly fifteen minutes before 7:00pm. It was the time he asked Amber if they could meet. He knew it was still early but he expected that Amber would be there on time. Approaching the location, he sought for a familiar figure. He looked from side to side as he walked closer.. There was no one. Realizing that Amber may be running on a little late due to the traffic that was prevailing on the streets of Seoul, he decided to wait.
It's been some time since he actually had some alone time. After the encounter he had with his father, he busied himself with work. He immersed almost the entirety of his day in signing papers, reading proposals, accepting applicants, interviewing potential administrative officers and the like. It's a busy day for him at the office, and it's like that every single day.
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It was 20 minutes past 7:00pm. Key knows that Amber isn't the type of girl to be late but then again. He wanted to wait, he did say in his letter. He'll wait for an hour.
The sun has long set and the sky has turned dark. The spot he chose for was famous to see the dancing lights. It's a tourist attraction in Seoul. The lack of tourists that night was either fated to let him and Amber talk privately or it was just because it was a day mid of the week.. Most of the people visit by Fridays and the weekends.
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It's only a few minutes before 8:00pm. Key was leaning on the railings and had faint tears by his eyes. He didn't know how he managed to wait for so long by the river. He accepted the fact that Amber was no longer coming. He thought, if she was coming in the first place, it wouldn't take her so long to actually get there. Amber may run late on meetings, but she'd never let herself be late for such things. Key had to face it. To be honest, he expected that she'll come and see him. But no, that doesn't seem to be the case.
It was now exactly 8:00pm. That was it, his watch said everything. Key slightly wiped his eyes to prevent the tears from falling any further. He heaved in a sigh, lightly slapped his cheeks while saying "Respect her decision." and turned around. However, as he took a few steps forward, he heard a voice. It made him stop on his place. Again, it called. It resonated in his ears.
It was her.
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Amber was panting and running out of breath when she called out his name. She wasn't really sure if it was him but the hair gave her hints. He still had blonde like hair though it has obviously faded back to a shade of brown. As she shouted her name, he stopped. It was a confirmation. Indeed, the man that was standing a few feet from her was Key.
"Key? Did I make it in time?" She asked.
He turned around. Amber saw that he had been crying. Key's eyes were red. Amber also noticed that the boy had lost some weight. She grew worried and thought whether has he been eating properly? Did he get regular sleep? All those questions boggled Amber as she unconsciously started walking towards Key. She wanted to run so bad, run into his arms, hug him so tight and shower him with kisses but her body didn't seem to follow what she had in mind.
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It's not a dream. He was in front of her. She wanted to pinch herself so bad. She needed a proof that what was happening at that moment isn't just another dream of hers.
"Tell me this is not a dream.." She said.
Key reached for Amber's cheek. The girl started crying. "It's not.. I'm here."
Amber held Key's hand and looked the boy in the eye. "Hey.."
"Hey.."
It was a moment of tears for them. Both had just started crying. Key had pulled Amber into hug and the girl didn't refuse.. She hugged back and held Key as tight as she can. It is true. It wasn't a dream. Key was with her. She was hugging him.. It had felt like an eternity since she felt Key's warmth like that. It was a moment she's waited for so long.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you.." Key said.
"I've missed you too Key.. so much."
They just let out sobs until both had calmed down.
"I've got lot of things to tell you.."
"Take your time."
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The two walked side by side as they looked for a bench to try and talk things through. It was awkward though. Key had to up some courage to start talking.
"Amber, I'm sorry. This mess, it's all my fault."
Amber shook her head. "No. This wouldn't have happened if I didn't do what I did that night.. The night where it all fell apart. I'm the one to blame Key.."
"I know it was never your intention to do that..I ugh. Found out that Henry was hired by my father to meet with you.. My father wanted us to break up so he can have me back. I should've not let my emotions take me over like that. I hated how my father became like it, and I turned into one myself.I drove you away.. Amber I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.."
"Actually, I was supposed to explain everything here but I remembered my diary pretty much said everything.."
"You lied to me.."
"What?"
"Eunjung, she was your first girlfriend wasn't she?"
"It never became us.."
"I know. I'm just kidding.."
Key smiled. He looked at Amber and the girl's hair.. "You've got a lot more beautiful since the last time I saw you.."
"It was you, wasn't it?"
"What?"
"You were at the playground.. That day, we met halfway didn't we? You were the man who wore that mask and heavy winterclothes.."
Key nodded.
"Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you hear me out? Why didn't you let me just see your face for a little?"
"It wasn't the right time.. I had no guts to face you then.."
"So today? Today is the right time? Why did it take so long? I've wanted to hug you so much.. I miss holding you in my arms and showering you with love Key.."
"It was the same for me, Amber.. I wanted to do the same.. That day when I met you at the street while you're on your way to the playground? I just wanted to approach you and hug you so tight.. But I can't.. I was scared. I was scared that you'd run away and hate me for everything."
"I can never hate you.."
"What about him?"
Amber wondered who the "him" Key was talking about, until she realized he must've been pertaining to Myungsoo.
"He loves you doesn't he?"
Amber nodded.
"I was devastated when I knew you've been going out with him often.. I thought have you moved on? Have you forgotten about me? I was selfish.. But I didn't want to lose. I'm a selfish bastard who didn't want to lose you."
Amber held Key's hand and shook her head. She was crying again.."You didn't have to be Key..I'm happy when I'm with Myungsoo but the happiness you brought me was so much more. Every part of my being wanted you back.. Sought for you, yearned for you.. It's still you Key.. It's always been you.. I still love you no matter what.."
Key no longer held his tears and just let them flow.. He hugged Amber once again and showered kisses all over face. He was crying and smiling at the same time. "I love you more than anything Amber.."
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The remainder of the time they spent together that night was used on watching the dancing lights. Amber had her head resting on Key's shoulders.. How'd she miss the feeling.. A question then popped up in her mind.
"So what's going to happen to us now?" She asked as he looked at Key.
Key looked at some distance, again tears welling up. By his actions, Amber seem to have understood.
"We still can't be together can't we?"
Key shook his head. Amber is now in tears once again..
"Why? Why meet me now when I know I can't have you back?"
"I'm still not worthy of you.. Not yet.."
"Don't I say if you're worthy or not?"
Key faced Amber and held her hand. "It's not just that.. I've still got a lot of things to fix.. the company, my relationship with my father.. and."
"And?"
"Myself.. I need to fix myself. I'm still running away Amber.. I've got to finally let go of my inner demons, alone. I don't want to hurt you in the process anymore.. That's why I've got to go away and fix my life.. Fix myself. When I know I'm worthy enough, I'll come back.. I'll come back for you. I'll come back for us.."
Amber cried and cried on. Key hugged her..
"So will you wait for me?"
"You're the most selfish guy I've ever met.."
"But yes, I'll wait for you.. Even if takes forever.. I'll always be here waiting for your return.."
They faced each other.. Both had smiles on their faces while the tears were starting to dry up..A kiss.. They shared a kiss. It was a painful one. It was more painful than it was before.. They had to separate yet again. Key had to search for himself. He knows, it was a selfish thing to do.. But he had to.. He had to see Amber before he face his inner demons. Amber was his strength.. Knowing she'll be around made him stronger.
It was yet another goodbye.
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Almost after a week of not updating.. Another chapter! Yey! I'll definitely miss writing for this fic. The next chapter will be the final one so please look forward to it. I want to thank everyone in advanced! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
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