“Please have some cold lemonade, you kids have been working in the sun the entire day, you deserve a break,” Serin hears old lady Jung say from behind her as she successfully hangs up a bright-pink colored lantern by the wooden food stall they just built. She steps down from the stool she has previously stood on and turns to the old lady with a big smile. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Jung, really, you didn’t have to go out of your way like this,” Jongin thanks her, and grabs a glass. Jongdae and Seulgi do the same and so does Serin, taking a sip out of the cold bittersweet drink, almost whimpering in relief because while she won’t tell old lady Jung it is absolutely traumatizing to construct food stalls and decorate for the upcoming lantern festival out in the scorching sun. At this point, she’s convinced her shirt is soaked in her sweat and she probably smells too. Baekhyun, who is lucky--or unlucky--enough to not have to work, is standing in the shade a bit away from them, nicking his head in her direction when her eyes meet his.

Mrs. Jung is the same old lady that auntie Eunjung had tea with the other day, and now that they’ve been helping out the townsfolk to organize the festival that’s going to be held tonight, she’s been bringing them snacks repeatedly. She is a really nice lady, but the rumors about her dead husband? Not so much, apparently.

It’s not until she leaves again inside her house that Jongdae mentions it, which causes Serin to look at him questioningly. “What rumors, exactly? I mean, look at her, she can’t be hiding some evil secret about her husband.”

“Actually, it’s not just rumors, some parts were confirmed which is what started them in the first place.”

“Enlighten me, then.”

Jongdae puts down his hammer and takes a sip out of his drink, before clearing his throat. “Okay, so first of all everyone knows he was fresh out of prison when he moved into town. Based on what I read and heard around, there was this restaurant in town thirty years ago that burned down to the ground under mysterious circumstances. I mean, the investigation ended with the conclusion that the fire was caused by an overheated oven exploding, but there was no sign of an explosion in the rubble. Not long before the accident, Mrs. Jung’s husband—Yeonhoon was his name, I think?—had a big argument with the owners. They used to be partners in the restaurant, but Yeonhoon left and the week later the restaurant was burned. Don’t you think it’s a bit shady?”

”I think you’re making up a conspiracy theory,” Seulgi chuckles. 

”Okay, maybe the fire might be a stretch, but think about it! Ever since we were little, we were always warned to not approach him, he’s always had this weird authority where none of the adults dared to confront or question his actions. I mean, he moved to town and married old lady Jung after he got out of prison. A lot of the townsfolk say he was affiliated with organised crime back in the city and moved here to hide, it honestly doesn’t sound very far-fetched to me. There are a lot more crime rumors that went around about him too.”

”Jongdae, how bored are you from one to ten? I mean you must’ve put a lot of time and thought into all of this if you can come with such a well-developed theory,” Serin laughs. 

”Oh, come on! You guys never take me seriously!” Jongdae drops his hammer and slumps his shoulders playfully. 

”Well, what does it matter now anyways? He’s dead, so whatever crimes he committed he has paid for,” Seulgi reasons, which makes Serin think. 

”Hey, and what if he’s become a guide too? What if he will guide Jongdae to his death? That’d be pretty funny to see.”

”Would be an interesting way for me to go,” Jongdae mutters under his breath with a light chuckle. 

Serin can’t tell if its to her relief or not - but the clouds have decided to stop by and say hi, which gives her a temporary relief from the sun as she stands on the only platform of the train station. 

Her train is about to depart for the city, and she’s facing her friends while Baekhyun stands behind her. 

Seulgi runs up to hug the life out of her, and Serin responds with the same amount of eagerness, with just a hint of bitterness and separation anxiety laced underneath. 

”Come back safely and in time for the festival, okay?” her friend asks her with a voice slightly muffled from the fabric of her jeans jacket in which Seulgi’s head is buried. 

”Okay, I promise. It’ll only be a couple of hours and then I’ll be back again.” 

”I know, I know,” she mumbles. ”It’s just that, august is almost over and you never know what might happen—”

”Seulgi,” Serin cuts her off. ”Don’t think about that. You’re not allowed to, okay? I’m still here, that’s what’s important right now.” 

Seulgi nods weakly. ”You’re right.” They part the hug and Serin goes for Jongdae, who looks a bit more collected than Seulgi does. 

His hug is warm and comforting, just like Jongdae himself. He rubs her back affectionately, and pulls away to send her a smile, and she sees it - the pain he’s masking underneath his facade. And it’s devastating.

”Take care,” he starts. ”And if Sehun is awake, tell him I said hi, okay?”

Serin nods. ”I will.”

She turns around to salute Jongin, but she halts once she hears her friend speak up again. ”And Serin,” 

She faces him. ”Yeah?”

Jongdae’s lineaments fall into a pained, desolated expression, and she realises that he’s not bothering to hide his emotions anymore. He looks tired, extremely so.

”Please come back to us, okay?” 

A lump forms in , a thick suffocating one that halts her from speaking because if she would be doing so, a choked sob would be the only sound escaping . Instead, she nods aggressively. 

And then she finally faces Jongin, who is fidgeting with his t-shirt, like he’s nervous. He probably feels her stare on him, because soon enough his head snaps up to meet eyes with hers. His lips twitch in a small, depressed smile and that’s all it takes for her to throw herself on him, crushing her best friend in an embrace, and the thought that this could be their last one is unbearable. She’s not ready. She’s not ready to let go of him just yet. 

”I’ll come back,” she tells him, though it’s more of an attempt to convince herself, rather than to assure him. ”Nothing will happen in the city. I’ll see you at the festival tonight, hm?” 

Jongin doesn’t answer. Instead, his grip on her tightens and he buries his head in her shoulder, inhaling slowly. Even for someone like Jongin, these actions seem…different, almost as if they hold a different weight to them. 

It’s not until he pulls away that Serin notices how he has slowly walked her a bit away from the rest of her group, Baekhyun included. She turns to him, puzzled. 

Jongin avoids her gaze, which tells her that something is definitely going on. ”Okay, what’s up?”

”Look, Serin—” he stammers, his lips. His hands are on each of her shoulders, while her hands are resting on his muscular arms. 

”If something happens- I don’t know, maybe the train or something, or in the city— whatever, my point is that if you don’t make it back, I want you to know that—” he breaks off and looks elsewhere and Serin notices that the tips of his ears are slightly red. ”That I-” 

”Okay, you’re creeping me out now,” she laughs. ”You’re never this hesitant. Did something happen?” 

Jongin lets out a small laugh. ”Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he then clears his throat. ”Anyways, I-I, I’m—” 

It actually takes a few seconds before he sighs quietly and shakes his head with a dumbfounded smile. ”You know what? Just forget it. It was never important in the first place,” he hugs her tightly again. ”Be careful, watch your step and watch out for strangers. Anyone and anything is your enemy right now.” 

”Jongin,” she scolds. The fact that he’s switching topics is making the matter even more fishy. 

”Your train is about to depart, you better get on it,” he says quietly. ”I hope this won’t be our last goodbye, Serin.” 

The landscape passes by quickly before her, like a big blurry painting swirling in a mixture of emerald and azure. It stretches out immensely, reminding Serin of the last time she has taken the train like this, which was when she arrived in town at the beginning of the summer. 

When she still didn’t know about her impending fate. 

When all she wanted was for the summer to pass by quietly and fast, so that she could see her brother again. 

And now, as she is watching the town slowly fall out of sight, all she wants is to go back. She wants to go back to when she didn’t know that she was going to die because people sure as hell are right when they say that ignorance is bliss, because it really is. 

Baekhyun, who is sitting on the seat in front of her, is the one who breaks her out of her train of thoughts.

”Where are we going, exactly?” he asks. 

Serin smiles, grateful that there is no one else seated near them. ”To see my brother,” she grabs her bag and pulls out a letter, showing it to him. ”I want to give this to him. They’re slowly waking him up, so he won’t be responsive in a couple of days, but he’s still conscious. In case I don’t make it, there are some things I need him to know.”

Baekhyun must’ve noticed the pain she’s trying to hide behind her smile, because he sighs softly and says; ”do you want to talk about what happened between you two? You always look really guilty when you mention him. I’m not a therapist but maybe letting everything out could make you feel better?” 

She remains quiet for a while, biting her lip in hesitance. What’s stopping her? The guilt? The pain? The fact that she would probably burst into tears as soon as she starts speaking, or the fact that she can’t live with what she’s done?

It’s like a wound that has been covered with a band aid starts opening up again. A band aid that has been patched there for the entire summer, as her thoughts have flown to many other things. But now the band aid is peeling off, and what’s left is the fear and guilt that pours out of the wound. 

Serin has come to term with a lot of things this summer. Her brother is not one of them, and she realises that this whole time she hasn’t processed it, she has merely tried to forget it because there were other important things to think about, which causes her to smile weakly and say; ”maybe later.”

Baekhyun nods and returns her smile, reaching forward to ruffle her hair affectionately. ”It’s okay, don’t pressure yourself.” 

”What about your family?” Serin suddenly asks. ”Have you ever visited them while being, you know…”

”Dead?” he answers for her, raising an eyebrow. ”Not really actually, not yet. It feels- I don’t know, the thought of seeing them but not being able to talk to them doesn’t- I just can’t stand it. Besides, they’ve moved away from town so I don’t know where they are.”

”But you miss them,” she says with a low voice. 

Baekhyun sighs. ”I really do,” his gaze drops to the ground and his shoulders slump slightly. ”But I’m afraid that seeing them again would only worsen the pain,” he says with a low voice. 

”I’m sorry.”

”Don’t worry about it.”

”But hey, look at the bright side,” she commences, feeling a lump grow in . ”Soon you won’t have to be alone all the time anymore, since I’m joining you in a couple of days. I know we’re not supposed to interact a lot as guides, but if I become one I don’t care about that, we can hang out together, no? A bit of excitement in the world of the dead wouldn’t hurt—”

”Stop it,” he cuts her off sternly, with a harsh tone she has never heard him use. ”Don’t- how can you say that? Do you even realise what you’re saying?” 

Serin looks down, feeling her emotions fall apart one by one. ”It’s the only thing that keeps me from breaking down. I can’t do anything else but look forward to it, or I’m afraid I’m going to scream because I’m so terrified.” 

”Serin, you’re—” Baekhyun breaks off, rubbing his face in his hands with great frustration. ”, you’re supposed to have fun and live your life and get married, not waiting for your life to end, this is so messed up.” 

She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t have the strength to. Instead she pats the seat beside her. ”Is it okay if you sit beside me for a while?” 

Baekhyun looks a bit perplexed by her sudden request, but gets up nonetheless and sits alongside her. Serin takes the opportunity and leans her head on his shoulder, nuzzling closer to him. The cold aura that always accompanies him sweeps over her, sending a cold shiver down her spine, though she doesn’t care much about it. She needs comfort. She needs Baekhyun. 

”Ah, so that’s why,” he laughs quietly, patting her head. 

”I’m sorry, just for a little while.”

”You can stay like this forever if you want to.”

The hospital, while being moderately close to the train station, is as empty and uncomfortable as ever. The walls are draped in white which makes everything look dull and lifeless, and no less does the very tired-looking receptionist who barely notices as Serin approaches her. It’s only when she knocks on the desk that the woman looks up, slightly startled.

”I’m sorry,” she says. ”How can I help you?”

”I’m here to see patient Oh Sehun. Last time I was here, he was placed in room 206, has he been moved?”

The receptionist nods briefly before typing something away on a computer. The plastic-like sound of clicking stops and she looks up with a smile. ”Patient Oh Sehun has been moved to room 56. He’s still in intense care, however they moved departments since he’s waking up, and is showing signs of improved health. Please follow me this way,” she raises herself from her seat and starts walking. Serin casts a quick look at Baekhyun before proceeding with the receptionist.

They soon approach Sehun’s room, and the receptionist quietly walks away.

Once she is gone, Baekhyun clears his throat. ”I can leave you alone with him if you want to.”

”No,” she insists. ”I can’t go in there alone. Please?”

He smiles. ”Of course.”

But Serin gets taken by surprise once she opens the door and finds her parents sitting by the lone bed. Their gazes snap up to meet hers, and for a while the only sound audible is the distant beep of the machinery to which Sehun’s life is attached.

”Darling?” her mother looks at her. ”I didn’t know you were going to visit him today. Why didn’t you let us know you were coming?”

”It- it was kind of spontaneous. Sorry, I’ll let you know next time.” There won’t be a next time.

”That’s okay,” her father approaches her with a warm smile. ”What’s important is that you’re here on your own free will. I’m sure Sehun would appreciate that a lot.”

”Is he…” Serin trails off. ”Conscious?”

Her mother sighs. ”He can move his fingers a bit and his eyes open here and there, and he has hummed in understanding multiple times but he doesn’t answer actively to questions or requests. The doctors are taking it slow in order to hurt him as little as possible. Apparently he’s going to need quite a bit of physical therapy once he’s fully conscious, and I’m sure cognitive therapy will be needed too. But I believe he’ll be fine with time. His brain activity is healthy, so there shouldn’t be heavy repercussions from the accident.”

She nods, taking in the information. If only she could live long enough to see it. ”Could you leave me alone with him for a minute?” Serin asks instead.

Her father squeezes her shoulder with his hand. ”Of course, darling.” And with that, both her parents exit the room, and Serin is left with Sehun, Baekhyun and her own wallowing thoughts. She sits down on one of the chairs by the bed.

Her eyes travel through Sehun’s pale figure. His eyes are closed and cheeks sunken. His black hair is long and a scar can be seen stretching throughout the length of his left arm. He looks weak, something very unlike her brother.

Serin feels strangely numb as she watches him, as if the sight before her isn’t real. Even so, she grabs the letter from her bag and slides it gently in his hand. ”Don’t let mom and dad open this, okay? It’s for you.”

A sigh escapes her lips. ”You look like . I can’t blame it on you though. ’Kind of my fault you were driving that car in the first place.”

She realises soon enough that playing it off and talking to him casually is not working out, and that she still wants to cry. And soon enough the tears are inevitable. At least in her voice, because it breaks like a thin stick against a thumb when she starts speaking.

”I’m going to go soon, you know. I probably won’t be here when you wake up, a-and neither when you will learn to walk again, or when you’ll get married—” she breaks off, exhaling shakily at an attempt to stabilise her breathing. ”It doesn’t matter, I’m here now.”

Serin takes his free hand in hers, and a small smile stretches on her lips when she feels its warmth. It’s a good sign. He’s alive. He’s here.

”I love you, Sehun.”

And then she falls quiet, awaiting some kind of response.

”Mom told me you can open your eyes, or move your fingers. Can you do that for me, to show that you heard me? Please?”

She is desperate. Serin is truly desperate for any sign because she’s not sure she can move on if her last goodbye with Sehun remains empty. Yes, he’s going to get her letter, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough for her.

The more time passes, the more she plunges in her self-despair, in her suffocating fear of death, in the crushing realisation that this is probably the last time she’ll ever see him.

”Please,” she begs. ”Sehun, please do anything, it doesn’t matter what it is just…please.”

”Serin,” Baekhyun whispers from behind her.

And yet, no matter how much she cries and begs, the male remains unresponsive. Her regret remains stagnant, and she feels unresolved. Everything does.

”He’s not even opening his eyes, Baekhyun,” Serin wipes away a tear. ”I don’t know what to do anymore.”

”You don’t need to do anything. Come here,” he moves from his designated corner and grabs her hand with magnificent care. She stands up, and he opens his arms. ”Do you want a hug?”

At his statement, Serin can’t help but let out a weak laugh, because she knows he’s mimicking her actions when Baekhyun had looked sad. Nevertheless, she nods gratefully and wraps her arms around his shoulders. He’s cold to the touch—obviously—but