Neptune
The Only Constant in an Avalanche of Change
Pitch black, pale blue
There was a stained glass
Variation of the truth
And I felt empty handed
After their talk, Kyungsoo and Jongin had stopped seeing, talking, or contacting each other. They went their separate ways, choosing to ignore each other and dancing around whenever they had their usual meals at the diner with their friends. When one was present, the other was usually absent and vice versa.
It came to the point where Baekhyun had pointed out that, “Just because you guys are not spending time with each other, doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or something. You’re still friends, not strangers.”
Kyungsoo and Jongin had chosen to ignore him, with Kyungsoo leaving the diner as soon as he saw Jongin sitting down with their friends.
Not spending time with each other wasn’t as easy as they thought, especially when they had the same group of friends, and are currently going to the same university. It was only inevitable that they would bump into each other in the hallways. This causes an awkward dance where they both refuse to look at each other, let alone touch each other in the crowded place.
Kyungsoo thinks that the arrangement is a pain but can’t help but agree that to some degree, it is the right thing to do.
—
You let me sail
With cheap wood
So I patched up
Every leak that I could
The wheels of the cart squeak as Kyungsoo pushes it with his own weight. Chanyeol walks beside him with a small frown set on his face, clearly so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice when Kyungsoo stopped with the cart, staring at him questioningly.
“Hyung,” Kyungsoo calls out. Chanyeol starts and looks back at Kyungsoo. “Are you okay? Is it about Baek or something?”
Chanyeol blinks at him before chuckling as he walks back towards Kyungsoo. He takes the cart from the younger one and starts walking forward. Kyungsoo frowns at him but rushes to catch up, taking a couple of ramens on the way.
“Seriously, what is it?” Kyungsoo asks again, throwing the ramens on the cart.
“Kyung,” Chanyeol sighs before turning to him, his brows furrowed. “You stared at Jongin’s favorite brand of coffee for five minutes. You didn’t even notice when I snuck in a celery in the cart. You hate that thing!”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at his brother, looking everywhere but him. “Weren’t you the one who said that our relationship wasn’t healthy?”
“Yes! And I still stand by what I said, your relationship really wasn’t healthy. But I’m also not blind, I see how you’re both miserable without each other.”
Kyungsoo whips his head to look at his brother incredulously. “You’ve seen him?”
Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders before walking forward with the cart. “He’s a teammate. Besides, we’re friends. Of course I’ve seen him.”
“Doesn’t matter. You were right. This not spending time together is the right thing to do.” Kyungsoo ignores the tightness in his throat and walks forward, eyes refusing to look at the things that he and Jongin have enjoyed eating before.
Silently, Kyungsoo laments the fact that his brother has seen Jongin while he has not.
Chanyeol blows out a breath before putting an arm on his brother’s, pulling him closer. “I’m proud of you. Both of you.”
Kyungsoo nods his head and hums, a small bitter smile on his face.
—
‘Til the blame grew too heavy
Stitch by stitch I tear apart
If brokenness is a form of art
The music is loud even inside the bathroom. The smell of liquor, , and the thick scent of the woman’s strong perfume swirl around him, causing Jongin’s head to throb. He ignores all of these and kisses the woman urgently. The woman—Maria, Jongin remembers—slips a hand on his nape. The feeling of Kyungsoo’s warm skin on his nape slips through his mind, the younger going pliant under his arms as he takes, and takes, and takes.
Jongin forces the thoughts of Kyungsoo away from his mind, instead choosing to continue his ministrations. He grips the woman’s waist and is immediately met with soft curves.
Wrong. His mind screams at him loudly. The feeling of Kyungsoo’s small and soft curves invades his senses as he remembers the way he melts under Jongin.
Wrong. Jongin stops kissing Maria who looks up at him, her slanted eyes looking up at him flusteredly.
Her eyes are not wide enough. Her eyes are too small, too slanted. Jongin coughs, releasing her from his grasp. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
She splutters after him as he leaves the bathroom.
He sits down next to Jongdae, huffing as he calls the bartender to order a scotch.
“You haven’t had a fling for three weeks now.” Jongdae observes, eyeing Jongin. “And it looks like you just blew the one you had.”
Jongin shrugs. “You know who I want. No one can ever possibly compare.”
“So what are you waiting for then” Jongdae asks, taking a sip of his beer.
Jongin shakes his head. “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Are you seriously asking that?” Jongdae looks at him amusedly. “Kyungsoo has turned down every suitor that he has ever had.”
Jongin’s brows furrowed. “He’s had suitors?” He asks shortly, his stomach churning at the thought of someone making a move on Kyungsoo.
Jongdae looks at him as if he’s grown a second head. “Have you seen him?” He gestures to his own body as if saying ‘have you seen his body?’. Jongin scowls at him. “Remember what happened when we first met each other?
Jongin mulls it over, trying to let the memory resurface.
I must be a poster child prodigy
Thread by thread I come apart
If brokenness is a work of art
Jongin has just come back from the studio as he walks towards the hallway, his body still dripping with sweat that he tries to wipe off his equally wet shirt. The organization advisers have been relentless in making them practice nonstop, what with the dance recitals coming up. He’s barely spent time with Kyungsoo lately and he’s dying to spend time with him.
Wiping the sweat on his brows, he barely notices them which is why it takes him a minute to process that it really is Kyungsoo that he’s looking at. Kyungsoo with a guy that Jongin doesn’t know on his side. The guy’s arms are draped over Kyungsoo’s shoulders.
Jongin feels his fist clench as he looks at them coming his way.
“Are you done with practice? How was it?” Kyungsoo asked him as he reached Jongin, a huge grin on his face.
Jongin’s eyes aren’t on him though. It’s on the guy’s smuggly smiling face.
Kyungsoo looks at where his eyes are trained and perks up. “Oh, sorry.” He giggles as he turns towards the guy. “Nini, this is Jongdae! He joined the choir this morning.”
The guy smiles and waves at him, “Hey, I’m Jongda—“ Before he can finish his sentence though, Jongin has s his arms on Kyungsoo’s waist and pulled him closer. Kyungsoo’s back on his chest.
“I’m Kim Jongin.” He muttered darkly, grip tight on Kyungsoo’s waist. He stared down at Jongdae, eyes practically deadly as he pulled Kyungsoo closer to him.
Jongdae only raised his arms at him, a small resigned smile on his face.
Surely this must be my masterpiece
I’m only honest when it rains
If I time it right, the thunder breaks
When I open my mouth
“You’re insanely possessive for someone who isn’t a boyfriend.” Jongdae snorts through his beer, the memory feeling fresh in his alcohol-addled brain.
“I’m not sure if I really love him or if I’m just so used to him though.” Jongin mutters softly, face buried in his hands.
Jongdae shrugs, “You have to figure it out on your own.” He looks at Jongin with a frown. “You have to figure it out soon though. I’ve heard some interesting things.”
Jongin looks at him, the question on his face.
“From what I’ve heard, it seems that people already know that you’re having a fight or something.” He explains slowly, as if talking to a child. “A lot of people want Kyungsoo. You just never saw it because in your mind, it’s always going to be you who’d get to have him at the end of the day.”
Jongin shakes his head at him, his eyes rolling. Deep down though, he knows that Jongae’s not trolling.
“I’m just saying, even if your heart was in the right place, you’re still the one who pushed him away.” Jongdae says, drinking from his bottle before he continues to say, “Kyungsoo’s not yours and a lot of people are going to take advantage of that.”
—
I wanna tell you but I don’t know how.
I’m only honest when it rains
An open book, with a torn out page
And my inks run out
The weight of the books which are heavy on his arms serves as a reminder of the stress of his midterm exam along with the things that’s been happening in his life.
He just came back from his exams, which he clearly didn’t pass. He was too stressed out by choir practice that he had last night, paired with the news that he’s heard about Jongin immediately latching on to another woman, it was inevitable that he was unable to properly take in the things that he needs to study.
He huffs as he walks faster, nearly slipping at the wet ground, the cold air slapping him on the face as he burrows his face lower on his scarf.
It’s safe to say that Kyungsoo’s day has not started out in a good way. His only salvation would be to be able to sit down on his favorite spot in his favorite cafe, eating his favorite carrot cake.
Finally arriving at the cafe, Kyungsoo rushes to the counter, mouth already open and ready to recite his orders when Minseok at the counter smiles at him guiltily.
“We’re out of carrot cake slices. Somebody bought it just a second ago, I’m really sorry, Kyung.”
Kyungsoo looks at him distraughtly, eyes watering as he forces out a huff. “There’s really nothing left?”
Minseok frowns and shakes his head.
Kyungsoo sighs before he nods dejectedly. “I’ll just take a banana cake and a peppermint mocha, please.”
Minseok smiles at him before calling out his order to the other person working there. Kyungsoo moves to the side as he scans the room, eyes immediately landing on his favorite spot. Which is currently not free.
Kyungsoo mewls pathetically to himself before his eyes catch the carrot cake on the table of his favorite spot. His mewl turns into a frustrated growl as he glares at the head of the person who took his spot and his cake.
He takes his order and marches his way towards his favorite spot, an angry tirade already waiting to leave his lips.
Kyungsoo stops beside the man on his spot and slams his food down on the table, the man only looks at him with a small quirk of his brows.
“I can’t eat my carrot cake because you’ve already bought it. You could’ve at least had the decency to leave me my spot!” Kyungsoo cries out. He feels his eyes start to water, the stress of everything that’s been happening finally catching up to him.
The man looks at him, horrified at the tears on his eyes. He hesitantly stands up as he hovers over Kyungsoo who has started crying loudly.
“Hey, here.” The man offers a handkerchief which Kyungsoo quickly snatches up, immediately using it to wipe at his snot. “If you want, you can have my carrot cake.”
Kyungsoo whips his head to stare up at the man who looks at him with a small amused smile. Kyungsoo sniffs, his voice hoarse as he asks, “Really?”
The man chuckles slightly before nodding, mirth dancing on his eyes as he smiles at Kyungsoo. “Only if you let me sit on your spot too.”
Kyungsoo looks at the small booth, cramped up in a little corner of the cafe. “I guess there’s enough room for one more.”
The man laughs loudly before sitting down. As soon as Kyungsoo warily sits down in his place, the man slides the cake towards him, a small smile on his face as he stares at Kyungsoo as if he’s an animal that he doesn’t want to startle.
The cake reminds Kyungsoo of his actions earlier and he is immediately horrified at the way he acted. Bawling out, snot and all, in front of a stranger. Really?
He clears his throat and looks up at the man beneath his lashes, too embarrassed to face him. “I’m sorry,” he starts softly, “For my actions earlier. That was really stupid. I honestly don’t know what happened. I just really can’t believe that I’d cry in front of a stranger like that and your cake, claiming that it’s mine I just—“
The guy stops him with a soft laugh and a shake of his head. “It’s alright. I’m quite sure you need the cake more than I do.”
Kyungsoo nods timidly, face hot as he slowly fights the urge to bury himself in a hole on the ground. “I’m really sorry.” He looks down at his hand, the snot-filled handkerchief staring back at him. He winces as he shows the man his handkerchief. “I’ll be sure to wash this and send it back to you.”
“I’d be expecting that.” The man smiles as he puts a hand out to Kyungsoo. “I’m Seonho by the way. And you are?”
Kyungsoo stares at the hand offered.
This is it. It’s time to prove to everyone that I can be independent. That I can make friends even without Jongin.
Slowly, Kyungsoo takes the offered hand and shakes it, a shy little smile on his lips as he answers. “Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.”
“Do Kyungsoo? That’s a surprise.” Seonho says, a surprised look on his face. “Do you go to SM University, by any chance?”
Surprised, Kyungsoo warily nods his head. “How do you know?”
“Besides the fact that you’re wearing the uniform?” Seonho laughs as Kyungsoo looks down at his clothes, face red from the stupid question that he had asked. “My brother goes there too, actually. I actually came to one of your school’s choir performances last year. I saw you there.”
Kyungsoo, still red in the face, chooses to ignore the last statement. He can’t take any more of the giddiness that seems to be bubbling over him at the moment. “Who’s your brother? Maybe I know him.”
Seonho chuckles, shaking his head as he looks down at his coffee. “I doubt it. He’s not one for singing.
“It’s fine, I could still know him!” Kyungsoo’s lips tug up, excitement growing as he stares at Seonho, waiting for his answer.
Seonho looks at him then, the smile on his face seemingly making Kyungsoo’s chest go haywire. “Sehun. My brother is Oh Sehun.”
Kyungsoo’s smile immediately drops.
I wanna love you but I don’t know how.
Welp, there goes another bomb!
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