CHAPTER 2
Always Out of Place
[2020 May 2nd ] [PRESENT]
Messages Forward
JOOHYUN BAE
I thought we're ok now? You even answered my call last night.
You’ve been more distant to me for a month now. Please talk to me at least? I really don’t wanna go back to being strangers again.
Seungwan… I have something to tell you. It’s about Sooyoung.
I know I should’ve told you about this earlier but I didn’t want to make you feel worse.
Seungwan… Sooyoung went to see you that night :(
Joohyun told no lie when she said Seungwan had been avoiding her for a month. Seungwan couldn’t deny it either. Answering Joohyun’s call from last night is what she reckons as a moment of weakness. A mere mistake.
She can ignore her for as long as she wants, but her last message appears to break every barricade of determination Seungwan had set up to shut everyone out. It compelled her to see Joohyun herself.
“Seungwan…”
“What do you mean she went to see me that night?”
Never did Seungwan initiate to come to Joohyun nor anyone else but today. This surprised her, seeing Seungwan as she opened the door at this time of the night. She stood outside as if she couldn’t feel the chill of the night breeze creep through her bare skin. Not to mention her shabby appearance that tells she came in a rush.
She still grieves as the first day she found out about it, Joohyun thought. “You should come inside first. It’s cold out here.”
“Be at ease, it’s alright. I’m alone today. My sister won’t be home for another week.” She tries to make Seungwan comfortable as she places the coffee on the glass tabletop.
They’ve only known each other for two months, and one of those two was spent by Seungwan trying to avoid her. They weren’t that close to begin with, but seeing how Seungwan tries so hard to shut everyone out made Joohyun feel like she had become more distant than when they were mere strangers.
“She came to me that night?” Seungwan mentions without waiting for Joohyun to settle down.
Joohyun nods in response. “We… Uhm, the three of us were supposed to meet that night, do you remember?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“The truth is I didn’t know whether you’d come or not so I gave S-Sooyoung a call. I asked her if she can come, and she said yes.” Remained standing in her place, Joohyun bows her head to escape from Seungwan’s unsettlingly calm stare. “She said she was on her way to pick you up so you won’t have any other choice but come.”
The coffee was almost out of steam when Seungwan responded. “She had left home when she said that?”
“I t-think so. I clearly remember how she complained about having to take a cab because a family member took her car out without her permission.”
Seungwan remained calm, shifting her gaze into the beverage that had gone cold, not quite the reaction Joohyun presumed.
“Seungwan”
“What?”
“You may not tell me about it, but I know you’re skeptical about this s-suicide thing, and so am I. I mean, I may not look like it, but I’m hesitant too. I can’t bring myself to believe it because I talked to her that night, and she sounded really happy. But then again, I can’t prop my suspicion up with just that since… we all cry differently.” Joohyun notes, downhearted.
“I… I’ll get going.” Without responding to Joohyun’s speculation, Seungwan sips the coffee in one go then attempts to rush straight to the doorway.
It has been a habit of hers to walk out when she’s caught in a tight spot or when she refuses to answer. But Joohyun got used to it. Hence her swift reflex to stop Seungwan from leaving by leaning forward and closing her in with an embrace. “Why are you always walking away at times like this?”
“Why do you always have to see me at times like this?”
"Why does that matter?"
“When did you get so good at talking?”
The exchange of eloquent questions brought giggling in the room. Meanwhile, Joohyun stealthily tightens the embrace without disturbing her soft laughter. As she felt Seungwan respond to her not-so-excessive touches, the words she had been meaning to say found its way out. “I missed you Shon.”
“I didn’t.”
“Yeah? Well the way you’re my back tells me otherwise.”
[2020 March 2nd] [2 MONTHS AGO]
Lectures went by in a jiffy. But since Joohyun is a transferee, she had to take part in the orientation, together with the freshmen. The orientation itself ended quickly. They simply handed out guidebooks to familiarize students with campus services, following a short discussion.
“Done with the orientation?”
“Lalisa?” Joohyun halts to wait for the girl who’s now walking towards her.
“Just Lisa.”
“Oh, right. Uhm, do you have lectures left to attend?”
Lisa tilts her head, motioning Joohyun to continue walking. “Nah, just waiting for someone. What about you? You heading home?”
“Yeah, I don’t have any lectures left too, and I have to read… this.” She shows off the guidebook she received.
“Tch. That’s useless. Why don’t I give you a campus tour instead?”
“Really?!” Seemingly indifferent, she sure is kind, Joohyun thought. No, wait… Sooyoung. I promised to do it with her. But… it’s rude to refuse Lisa right now.
“Yep. Let’s start at the student center’s café. I’m starving.” Before Joohyun could excuse herself, the bob-haired girl was already dragging her in the hallway.
Unlike her previous school’s, Reve University’s student center is enormous and is expansive enough to serve as a first-class hotel. What’s funny is that it’s not even the best university out there. Just looking at it tires one’s eyes. No wonder that grumpy one refused to do the campus tour with me, Joohyun pondered on her way in.
Joohyun is not a fan of coffee but loves hanging around a café. It is some sort of refuge for her when she needs time to shake things off, so the idea of having a nearby and mainly empty cafeteria warms her thoughts.
“Coffee?” Asks the bob-haired woman.
“Hm? N-No. I’ll be fine with anything but that.” Joohyun shyly rubs the back of her neck.
“Okay.”
While Lisa took care of the refreshments, Joohyun enjoyed the time to herself, getting a good glance at the whole place. It was spacious and far from crowded. She grins, knowing she wouldn’t have to come running to the cafeteria to save a spot like how she used to during her freshman year.
Looking straight ahead, an adorably bright woman in a ponytail skips to her direction. Awkward as she is with strangers, she avoids eye contact. She assumes this lovely-looking woman is one of those overly-friendly seniors who stand up for outcasts. If not, why would she be smiling from ear to ear to someone unfamiliar?
Joohyun pretends to wave at Lisa from afar to set the other woman off, but her raised hand halts in the air when the table got shoved, hitting her upper abdomen. It turns out the woman she was trying to ignore got the best of her attention when her jumpsuit suspenders caught the edge of the tabletop and abruptly moved the table.
“Awww…” They groaned in unison.
The woman fell down the floor but immediately stood up to shake off the dirt that got on her knees and palms. She does it as if it happens on a daily basis, as if nothing happened.
“Hi there pretty.” She greets. “Sorry about that. Are you okay?”
Joohyun lightly nods, still trying to process what just happened.
“I’m Sana by the way. I hope you don’t mind me sitting here with you. I’m here to see Lisa if she didn’t tell you.”
She suddenly feels ashamed of her initial thoughts. Lisa said she was waiting for someone. Why didn’t she think of that? Thankfully, Lisa came right on time, saving Joohyun from the awkwardness of sitting next to Sana. The awkwardness can’t be helped considering how the adorable woman constantly smiles at her.
“You’re here. I suppose you’re done introducing yourselves.” Lisa puts down the tray then grabs the seat in front of Joohyun. “Lose the smile woman. It’s creepy.” She adds, referring to Sana.
Sana turns to Joohyun with a pout. Whether intentional or not, Joohyun couldn’t care less. All she knew was that the girl suited the all-smiles and cutesy look.
“Is it?”
Joohyun shakes her head. “Not really. You look pretty adorable with it.”
“Don’t spoil with compliments.” With a smirk, Lisa warns her.
“Psh, you and your jealousy.”
It was odd, but Joohyun passed over the fact that they just met. She was laughing things off with them to a point where she was getting high hopes. She’s starting to envision random stuff again, like having what they call genuine friends or what other people refer to as the stars and the black velvet in any dark night. Not until she met eyes with the woman from the opposite table.
The curve on her lips dropped to its lowest. Her expression hardened at a pace too noticeable. She soon after docks her head as low as possible.
“Are you alright?” Lisa asks.
Worried, Sana softly pats her shoulders. “Were you badly hurt when I shoved the table a while ago?”
“You did what?”
“It was an accident.”
“I wasn't even gone for long!”
"I said it was an accident!"
While the two argued, Joohyun just wanted to disappear. She makes a bitter face knowing it would be difficult to leave with the current situation.
“Sana…” Joohyun whispers with her head still docked.
“Yeah?”
“I think I’ll have to go now.”
The way she talked was too suspicious to be overlooked, and Lisa noticed what she was trying to do. Lisa turned around and discovered the person behind her was staring at Joohyun with a blank expression. The way this person stared doesn’t disclose any sort of history or relationship with Joohyun. Lisa found that part most intriguing.
“Should I see you off?” Lisa volunteers.
Her behavior left Sana perplexed. She wasn’t the type to do such things for others, especially with people who are somewhat strangers to her. What she didn’t know was that Lisa heeded her intuition of helping Joohyun leave so the latter would reveal why she was trying so hard to hide.
But far from what Lisa had anticipated, Joohyun refused and left alone in a hurry.
“Do you think she’s badly hurt? Should I go after her and apologize? I’m worried.”
Instead of listening to Sana talk, Lisa glued her eyes on the group from the opposite table who followed shortly after Joohyun had left. She was getting more curious but was left with a heavy sigh upon realizing she’s in no place to be. “It’s none of my business.” She utters.
“I-I was just asking.”
“Huh? Not that Sana.”
“What is then?”
“Nothing.”
“Hmph.”
--
After apologizing to the cab driver, Joohyun strolled down the sidewalk with heavy steps. She hitched the cab to ride home and run away but then had no choice but to get off. Her new home is not that far from the university so she never thought of having to need a ride. Only now that she had to get home faster that she hitched one. But she didn’t even get to hop in when she received the threats, just like old times.
Messages Forward
That Person
You didn’t even say hi.
I need to talk to you Joohyun Bae.
Let’s meet up. I’m sending you the address.
Hey?
I’d come if I were you.
She had never felt so stupid when she read those messages. For years, she had this person’s number saved on her phone. Rather than deleting it, she chose to rename it so it wouldn’t hurt as much to see spiteful words come from ‘that person,’ the person she liked a lot. And rather than changing her own number, she waited for this appalling conversation to pop up again, but maybe with therapeutic words such as SORRY.
But it was a stupid thing to do. Plain stupid that even the fact that she fell in love cannot account for it.
Joohyun's eyes widened when she arrived at the address sent to her. Outside, it appeared as a fancy restaurant, but inside are men in their high-end suits, drunk in broad daylight. It was a bar in some sort of minimalist-classical, but not as fancy as how it appeared from its exterior. The atmosphere was tense and gloomy. It could even be mistaken for a barbeque restaurant from the oozing cigarette smoke.
Why am I even here?
Joohyun passes through the group of tipsy men while tightly clutching her tote bag. She hurries to the table nearest the counter in case someone with ill intentions approaches her. At least she’ll have the bar crew to rely on, she believes.
She had settled down but kept looking around like a criminal in a port stowing away from the authorities. Every time the door chimed and people come in, she would stand up from her seat.
“Need anything miss?” The bartender notices her constant gesture.
“Uhm, n-no thank you.”
She was standing still when the door chime alerted her once more. This time it was the person she was waiting for that arrived, together with people who had not only once - but a lot of times- laid their hands on her. Strange enough, she felt better than she had envisioned. Although a part of her didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t want to show up, she was a bit too calm.
Just then, someone from behind drags her to the counter. She resisted by nudging but stopped when she got a glance of the person. She was dumbfounded, and at the same time, surprised by how she easily gave in to getting dragged inside a dim stockroom.
“Seungwan, you—“
“What the hell are you doing here?!”
“I… I don’t know, I just—“ Joohyun stumbled over her words as she didn’t know what to say. It would’ve sounded absurd to say she was there to meet her bullies.
“Did you follow me here?!”
“N-no?”
“Look, woman…” Seungwan moves closer, pinning Joohyun against the wall. “I don’t know what the actual you’re thinking that you keep making me uncomfortable since the first minute we met, but I’m warning you. Stay away from me. Don’t even mention seeing me here. Got that?”
“Wow, that’s the longest talk from you today. And... did you just curse?”
“What the…” Seungwan steps back with eyes crinkled in disbelief. Now she knows why it’s harder to argue with dumb people than with smarter ones.
“Just kidding.” Joohyun remarks with laughter. “But… I’ve been threatened worse than this. By random people even. I guess that’s why you don’t scare me as much.”
She mentions threats hoping that Seungwan would ask about it and guide her into telling the story, and maybe get her a chance to explain why she’s there. Unfortunately, the feisty woman refused to reply and kept looking away.
“By your clothes, I guess you work here, and by the way you behave, no one seems to know. Does Sooyoung know?”
“Not if you’d shut your trap.”
“Okay. But, why are you working here? You’ll be in trouble if the university finds out. And, staying here is no good for your health.”
“Really? Why don’t you get out of this place then?!”
Realizing that Seungwan has no interest in talking things out, Joohyun threw away her intention of opening up. “A-alright. I will, but is there any other way out of here? Drunk men s-scare me.”
Seungwan doesn’t quite get it. She came in just fine. How can she say she’s scared just now? Unwillingly, she drags the woman to the backdoor that leads to a narrow alley. She s her outside and slams the door without saying anything.
What she just did made Joohyun gasp in disbelief. “What a monster!” She yells. She was getting mad, she started pretending to kick and throw punches in the air. She did it for a minute long until she received another message.
Messages Forward
That Person
I’m here.
What’s taking you so long?!
“Now what?” Joohyun’s frustration builds up, she didn’t realize she actually kicked the door and made a loud banging noise. “Aw!” She limps in pain.
Not long after, the door opened again. “What the hell was that for?!”
“Oh. H-Hi again…”
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