Buckle up, this will be a long ride. Enjoy :]

Yena was doing her project in one of her subjects when her phone rang suddenly. At first, she was planning to ignore it because she was too focused and serious, determined to finish it quickly but she just found her hand reaching for it and already accepted the call without even taking a glance on who’s calling her.

“Hello?” She greeted, eyes still glued at the screen monitor as her other hand was gripping on her phone.

There was a soft shuffling sound from the other line before a familiar soothing voice intensified. “Yena…” With just one call of her name, Yena’s heart flipped already—just the way she said her name made her feel so giddy already for some reason.

“Oh, Chaewon!” The bassist exclaimed, eyes widening a bit and paused doing her stuff, her full attention is now on the girl from the other line—a small smile already formed on her lips.

A giggle can be heard. “Hey there, I just want to ask you if you’re free right now.” Chaewon then threw her a question which made her silent for a bit, glancing on her running screen and beamed after.

“Yup! All free,” The older woman lied through her teeth but her chirpy voice remained sincere. “What can I do for you?” She asked, fully neglecting the project in front of her. Her friend is more important than that.

“Well… can you fetch me here in my school? I found some nails in my car’s tires, and I can’t find some taxi around because it’s kinda late—I’m too shy to tag along with my seniors so…” Chaewon explained.

By the time Chaewon finished speaking, Yena was already dressed up—rushing around her room like a maniac to get her car keys and wallet. “Okay, no worries—I’ll be there soon, just wait for ten minutes or so!” The bassist hastily said, almost tripping and falling on the stairs but managed to get her balance.

“Thank you, really, Yena. I’ll be waiting here near the gates.” The vocalist murmured on the other line while Yena just hummed as a response, locking the door of her house and dashed to her car.

Not long after, the bassist reached K-ARTS. Thankfully, the traffic wasn’t that heavy so Yena practically just zoomed through the road, almost reaching a hundred kilometers per hour out of fear that Chaewon might get impatient or worse, some people might take advantage of her.

She immediately spotted Chaewon, standing near the gate just below the lamppost. She halted her car in front of the vocalist who’s already smiling at the arrival of the familiar yellow Maserati Ghibli.

Yena unbuckled her seatbelt and went out, giving the younger woman a very worried look. “What happened?” She asked, approaching Chaewon and saw that she’s wearing a very tired expression.

The brunette shrugged. “When I was about to go home, I saw that my tire is already flat… some people targeted my car out of fun.” She sighed at that, shaking her head. Yena’s brows shot up in annoyance.

“How dare they? God, people nowadays are so ing jobless. Let’s reach out the guards—”

Chaewon shook her head, making her stop blabbering instantly. “I already reported it and asked them to keep an eye on my car—I’ll just get it tomorrow. For now, I just want to go home. I’m kinda tired after the practice, I also had some exams.” She softly murmured, exhaustion lacing around her low voice.

The bassist’s heart warmed at that, her expression also softening as she noticed the strain look from her tired friend, her voice is also very hoarse after singing very high for hours. “Okay then, I’ll take you home. Hop in, mylady.” She gestured and opened the door for her.

Chuckling, Chaewon just shook her head, amused but she silently hopped inside the car. Yena closed the door and went to the driver’s seat, glancing at the younger woman who’s buckling her seatbelt.

“Did you already eat dinner?” Yena asked casually, also buckling her seatbelt and maneuvered the car away from the side road.

Shaking her head, Chaewon just shrugged again. “Nope, not yet…” She muttered weakly then bit her lower lip. “But it’s alright, I’m full and I just want to rest—”

“Nonsense.” Yena cut her off, nose scrunching up to the thought that Chaewon was forgetting to eat her meals because of schoolworks and drama plays—one of the things she hated the most is Chaewon starving herself. “We’ll eat first before I drop you home. My treat.” She said, emphasizing every word with seriousness and finality to tell Chaewon that her decision is firm and she can’t do anything but to obey.

A sigh escaped Chaewon’s lips and just nodded mutely, turning her head to the window. She’s probably too tired to fight back or because she doesn’t want to upset Yena.

The bassist immediately parked the car in front of a restaurant. She didn’t really go picky since she wanted for Chaewon to fill up her stomach as soon as possible and it doesn’t look bad either—they offer chicken wings and other good food.

Making sure they locked the car first, the both of them padded towards the restaurant. Lucky for them, it’s not that full so they could eat sooner.

“You get us a table and I’ll order. Any particular food you want to eat?” Yena gently said, turning to Chaewon who’s looking up at the menu with a sharp gaze.

“Hmm, I just want some wings actually. That’s all.” Chaewon answered lightly.

The older woman nodded, turning to the counter. “Okay then.” She responded then fell in line to order while Chaewon silently walked towards the tables—picking the vacant one near the window that offers the view of the street and road.

Yena stared at the menu, trying to decide what to order besides the wings Chaewon requested. She inserted her hands in the pockets of her pull over, looking unpurposely cool. She could hear some murmurs of highschool girls behind her, whispering about how hot she is—the bassist snickered at that, a smirk crawling up to her lips. Her appeal never faded, instead it became stronger.

That boosted her confidence and ego, learning that she still has the same effect towards people, especially bended girls. However, too bad—she had changed for good and now, just a cool loser.

Her eyes then moved to where Chaewon is, the smirk on her lips still intact but when she spotted something happening on their table—her smug look turned into a deep scowl.

There are three guys trying to talk with an unamused Chaewon. It seems like they’re trying to score a shot, giving the uninterested girl their charming boyish grins to appeal to her but fortunately, the vocalist stayed neutral, shaking her head to show her disinterest.

“What the hell are they doing…” Yena snarled, her fists balling as she intently stared at the scene happening from the distance. A familiar dark sensation in her chest spreading through her.

She was too busy glaring when she didn’t even realize that she’s next in the line. The cashier had to call for her attention to snap back in reality.

The bassist ordered with a dark tone that she never intended to use, it also appeared that she scared the cashier a bit with the expression she is using—glancing at the table where Chaewon is from time to time as she finished getting their order.

“Uhm, here’s the receipt and change! Please just take a table and we’re going to serve it right there.” The poor cashier announced, a little bit wary and trembling as she handed the paper and money to Yena who just received it without even taking a glance back and just stormed out of the counter.

Chaewon grimaced, getting pissed as those three men stubbornly tried to entertain her. “Come on, miss—we will bother you no more once you give us your number, please.” One of them said, faking a sweet voice.

This is not the first time this happened to Chaewon but in times like this, she doesn’t know whether to be harsh or be polite but since she’s in a very bad mood—she might just kick their jewels.

However before she could even snap, another voice came in.

“ off.” It was cold as ice, venomous—one could tremble in fear just by the tone she used.

The four of them turned to where the voice came from and as expected, it’s Yena—she’s striding towards them with heavy steps, a blank look, and unamused angry eyes. Chaewon let out a relieved sigh at the sight.

“Don’t bother her, don’t bother us.” Yena firmly ordered through gritted teeth, obviously suppressing her rage as she halted in front of the three sly men who were obviously surprised at the sudden disturbance.

One was brave enough to tilt his head cockily. “The you want, brat? We just want her number.” He said, trying to look more intimidating as he looked down on Yena—trying to assert dominance because he’s a lot taller than the woman.

Yena didn’t even show any hint of fear, she’s just very furious. “I want you gone. Go wherever you guys belong to.” She hissed, and the sudden commotion caught other people’s attention.

“Why you—” The guy was about to step in and go physical with Yena when the workers suddenly stopped them, asking for them to leave and the guys couldn’t do anything but to exit the restaurant and give Yena some glares as they walked off.

The bassist plopped onto her seat after thanking the staff, looking in a very foul mood but still managed to worry over Chaewon. “Are you alright?” She asked, trying to make her voice soft despite the annoyance towards the guys still lingering in her.

The vocalist just gave her a reassuring smile. “Yes. Thank you for stepping in, Yena.” She muttered, while Yena threw her a nod and couldn’t give a verbal response when their order finally arrived.

Maybe, Yena went overboard and literally ordered a lot of food. Chaewon literally gaped at the feast present in front of her and gave the older woman a bewildered look.

Yena just shrugged, gesturing for her to dig in and even helped her put a variety of food into Chaewon’s plate.

After that, they ate peacefully—having small talks from then on. Yena noticed that the vocalist only just ate a little and her plate was already empty so she immediately picked some chicken wings and placed it on her plate, she didn’t stop and put three more with another dumpling.

Chaewon just silently stared at her. Yena continued eating after she’s satisfied with what she placed on the younger woman’s plate. “Eat a lot. I noticed you’re getting thinner again, Kim Chaewon.” She commented, ignoring the looks as she continued to devour her own chicken wing. “You’re starving yourself these days because of your busy schedule, right?”

Biting her lower lip, the vocalist just sighed, taking a bite from her chicken. “Well, I don’t starve myself intentionally… It’s just I’m too busy and I—”

“Even so. You should always eat your meals despite how busy you are.” Yena butted in, finishing her chicken and got herself another few, then placed another piece on Chaewon’s plate—the latter didn’t complain, thankfully.

“From now on, I’ll remind you to eat your meals daily.”

//

Yena never failed to remind Chaewon to eat her breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily after that night.

The bassist just kept on doing that to the point it became her daily routine—the moment she opened her eyes, the first thing she would do is to greet Chaewon a good morning and remind her to eat breakfast.

Surprisingly, the younger woman is very responsive and obedient—even sending her pictures of the food she was currently eating. It also became her habit to update Yena about her meals and other stuff.

They frequently text each other because of that, besides the meal reminders—they always talk a lot and bicker through texts and sometimes, calls. Well, they do message each other before but now, they’re much closer.

To Yena—Chaewon’s replies are the highlight of her day.

To be quite honest, everything bewilders Yena. These foreign feelings that would act up when Chaewon is just around confuses her. It scares her for some reason so the best thing she could think of to do: she ignored those blooming sensation in her chest.

//

There’s a practice again after their short hiatus—now, they are all good, less busy and less hectic because finally, exams ended. But it doesn’t mean they’re all free.

“Chaewon-ah,” Yena approached the vocalist who’s sitting on the chair, papers and books scattered around the table in front of her. She sat beside the latter while massaging her icky fingers, it has been a while since she ever played bass—she mostly worked on her projects and stuff so she never touched the instrument for a long time.

Chaewon just hummed, opening her pen and started to scribble something on her notebook. Unlike Yena, Chaewon is still busy but she insisted on practicing and performing—so, in their every break, the vocalist would do her homework.

“Is there anything I can help with? You looked stressed, we shouldn’t have accepted the gig offer or… just didn’t let you practice, Chaeyeon or me can be the vocalist for the gig.” Yena said, looking through the papers and sort of stuff, pitying the girl.

The younger woman just shook her head, sighing heavily as she kept writing on her notebook. “Seriously, it’s okay. I can manage, Yena.” She reassured, taking a glance at her and smiled tiredly.

Pouting, Yena observed her friend silently. Chaewon is very hardworking, it’s one of her best traits, she’s also very responsible and dutiful too. But seeing the dark arcs hanging under her droopy and sharp tiger-like eyes—Yena could feel her heart cracking inside her chest.

“Let me help you with your homework.” Yena offered, her lower lip and as expected, Chaewon shook her head and was about to decline. “Please, I insist.”

The both of them stared at each other for a while before Chaewon let out a sigh again, a defeated sigh this time and Yena just smiled, leaning closer to check the notes out. Thank god, Chaewon didn’t dare to fight Yena’s natural stubbornness anymore.

“What should I do then?” Yena excitedly asked, grinning brightly.

Chaewon paused for a few seconds, thinking before answering. “Uhm, can you do my essay for my History class?” She asked bashfully and Yena smirked, nodding confidently.

“Bet.” She responded simply.

“Well, it’s due tomorrow night. I’ll just send you the file of the task later and send you some references that might help you later when I get home.” Chaewon instructed, and Yena would just nod along, listening intently.

The bass player’s lips formed into a pout. “So, I won’t do anything, right now?”

Humming, the younger woman gave her a cheeky smile. “Help me with my Math homework then?”

//

“Yena, want to go to the club with us?” Chaeyeon approached Yena who’s already zipping her bag shut. Their practice is now finished so they can go home already.

The bassist turned to Chaeyeon with an apologetic smile. “Pass,” She answered, slinging her bag on her shoulders. “I need to help Chaewon with her homework.” She added.

That surprised the keyboardist a bit and just nodded understandingly. “Oh, next time then.” She smiled. “Are you free this weekend though? Let’s head to the gym, it’s been two weeks since we last went for a workout in the gym.”

Yena nodded with that, throwing her friend a smile and a pat on the shoulders. “Sure, just message me.” She responded before walking away, approaching Chaewon who’s still fixing her things.

Chaeyeon stayed there, eyeing the two exit the place while talking after they bid goodbye to the others. For some reason, she smiled a bit before turning to Hyewon who’s sitting on the couch, eyes closed.

“You noticed it too, right?” The keyboardist asked, still wearing a cheeky smile.

Without even opening her eyes, Hyewon slightly tipped her head. “Yeah…” She muttered, taking a deep intake of air.

“But it seems like the both of them haven’t yet figured it out.” Minjoo suddenly butted in, cleaning her drums—her sharp eyes turning to Chaeyeon, the corner of her lips is crooked. “Probably still in denial, just ignoring it—especially, Yena. That duck is too dense and naive.” The drummer added, standing up and took off her flannel shirt, showing off her tattoo cladded arm.

Chaeyeon sighed, nodding to agree. “Hmm, maybe they need a little push…”

//

Weekdays rolled by and it’s already the weekend.

Yena woke up early in the morning because she promised to go to the gym with Chaeyeon. She stuffed her things inside her gym bag and zipped it shut before slinging it on her shoulder.

She went to her car and before she could even maneuver it out of her driveway, she opened her phone first and composed her first text for Chaewon that day, pressing send after she’s satisfied and drove to the gym with a small smile plastered on her lips.

Not long after, she reached the gym and met with Chaeyeon at the lobby before they entered it together. The both of them settled on using the treadmill first.

Yena is just running at a very chill speed, one bud of her earphones plugged into her left ear. Chaeyeon also just jogged at a normal speed, giving her glances from time to time.

“Yena,” The red head suddenly called for her attention and the bass player just hummed as a response, giving her a signal that she’s listening while still focusing on running. “I just want to ask something.”

Throwing Chaeyeon a playful gun finger, Yena smirked. “Shoot,”

Chaeyeon let out a laugh before asking. “Do you like Chaewon?”

Yena almost lost her balance if she just didn’t manage to grip onto the handle, giving her younger friend a shocked look. “W-What?” She dumbly asked, her heart’s pace speeding up even more.

The keyboardist shrugged, giving her a pointed look. “I mean, you show a lot of signs… I just want to hear it from yourself,” She answered with a toothy grin. “So, Choi Yena? Do you like Chaewon in a romantic way?” The woman repeated, much serious this time.

Silence. Yena was silent, just averting her gaze and continued running. “No,” She breathed out, almost struggling to say that one goddamn word. It just felt wrong somehow. “I don’t like her that way, Chaeyeon.” She added plainly.

Laughing, Chaeyeon looked not very convinced. “Oh?” She mockingly exclaimed, raising her brow. “Your actions tell otherwise, Yena.” She insisted which pissed Yena a little bit. What does she know about her? Why does she keep insisting something that’s not even true?

Chaeyeon noticed the gloomy mood of Yena, also noticing the furrowed brows of her friend and she just smiled, continuing to blabber. Just a little more push. “I don’t know if you’re just in denial or haven’t figured it out yet.” She slowened her pace and stopped, panting lightly.

Yena did the same, coming to a slow stop but she refused to look at ther.

“But I really do see that you’re deeply… into her.” Chaeyeon bit her tongue from saying more that will cross the line, she wanted for Yena to realize that instead. “I hope you will try. She’s already in front of you…” She muttered before stepping out of the treadmill, patting her shoulders then moved away.

The older woman is definitely thinking right now, probably sorting out her feelings or something but Chaeyeon already did her part so she will let her be for quite a while.

When Yena noticed that Chaeyeon was nowhere near her anymore, she released a heavy sigh, massaging her temple before she bit her thumb, suddenly restless upon the sudden realization.

Does she likes Chaewon more than a friend?

Looking back, she does a lot for Chaewon, a lot of things that she never ever did for other people or for herself. She pours her all effort because she knows her friend deserves the best.

That’s quite normal, right? It’s just that she puts a little more effort when it comes to Chaewon, there’s nothing bad with favoritism, right?

, Yena started to go restless because of these thoughts. Lee Chaeyeon for confusing her mind like this.

But then, she’ll be lying if she ever says that she never thought of this for the first time.

Yena doesn’t know anymore. Feelings are confusing, that’s why she doesn’t want to catch one. Having to like someone is a pain in the , in the end, she might just get hurt or whatever.

She doesn’t like Kim Chaewon that way. That’s final. She insisted to herself.

And suddenly, it felt like she just fooled her own self.

//

“You’re being weird lately, Choi.” Chaewon suddenly commented one day when they decided to meet at the mall to kill boredom.

Yena craned her neck towards the younger woman’s direction, giving her a look. “What?” She asked, averting her gaze after and just fixated it on her cup of gelato.

Squinting her eyes, the brunette slowly crossed her arms as she kept throwing Yena some accusing looks. “You’re awfully quiet today, and… it feels like you’re avoiding me, Yena. Did I do something you didn’t like or something?” She asked, Yena caught the disappointment lacing around her voice. “It also felt like you got forced going here with me,”

The bassist turned to Chaewon again with a panicked look, guilt creeping up to her nerves when she saw the down and solemn look of Chaewon’s face. “N-No, I’m not. Seriously, it’s just that I’m on my period.” She dumbly explained.

She’s seriously not avoiding Chaewon—well, not on purpose though. Her body won’t just coordinate and keep trying to be far away from her friend.

It’s like her reflex move, and Yena knows why.

Because of the thoughts… You see, after Chaeyeon said that to her. She would always drown in her thoughts. That goddamn keyboardist really drove her insane, she even lost a lot of sleep because of too much thinking. It’s not the first time she lost sleep because of thinking something related to Chaewon but this time, it’s much more serious because it’s been like almost three weeks ever since that conversation yet she still hasn’t found peace yet.

Thoughts kept haunting her relentlessly, she can’t focus on her daily routine because of these freaking thoughts that would invade her mind suddenly.

And because these scary thoughts are related to Chaewon, she couldn’t help but to be a little bit wary around her friend.

It didn’t help that whenever Chaewon is close, she could feel something blooming in her chest. Oh she swears to God, she’s going insane.

At this point, Yena thought that she’s just fooling herself. She felt so helpless already.

“Your text messages recently were just all short and plain.” Chaewon pointed out too.

Yena guiltily hung her head down low, trying to come up with another reason but nothing, she just kept mum. The more Chaewon kept pointing out that she’s really just avoiding her, the more guilt kept eating her whole.

“You can’t even look at me straight in the eyes too. Are you hiding something from me or what?” The brunette scoffed, leaning on the backrest of her chair and took a sip from her iced americano, obviously pissed.

Finally, the bassist looked up to take a glance of Chaewon but the latter refused to look at her, looking gloomy and upset which made her sigh. She totally ruined Chaewon’s day.

This is too much, she should bring Chaewon home because nothing good and exciting will happen today because Yena is distracted with thoughts while the brunette is pissed.

“Come on, let me take you home…” Yena suddenly whispered, standing up from her seat and left her half full gelato on the table. Chaewon huffed, also jumping away from her seat and just walked past Yena.

“Yeah, you should. Obviously, the atmosphere is just getting worse and worse. I’m bummed, I just want to be alone instead.” The brunette harshly said before marching down to the exit, not even waiting for Yena.

The bass player just let out a sigh, trailing behind Chaewon who’s walking hastily towards the direction of the parking lot of the mall.

The ride towards Chaewon’s place is very awkward and silent. Yena grew even more restless. She tried to take a few peeks of Chaewon and the latter is absolutely mad and upset at what happened today.

She needs to apologize.

When the car came into a halt in front of their destination, Chaewon hastily unbuckled her seatbelt but before she could even open the car door, Yena stopped her by grabbing her arm gently.

“Hey, I’m really sorry for ruining everything today,” The older woman apologized sincerely with a soft voice. Chaewon almost got moved, but she’s stubborn so she stayed still.

“I-It’s just that something personal happened and I’m just out of my mind these days, okay? I’m really sorry, I’ll make it up to you soon.” Yena added, trying to sound more melodic and sweet to lure Chaewon to stop sulking.

Geez, it feels like she’s taming her girlfriend or something… wait, Choi Yena, stop right there.

That got Chaewon’s attention though, the latter finally faced her with an arched brow and unamused expression. Yena could only cower as the woman intensely stared at her.

“Then tell me about it, Yena. Not avoid me or something, it made me worry a lot! I could understand if you want space. You know I hate it when someone is acting indifferent around me.” Chaewon blurted out, a little bit frustrated.

Yena closed her eyes, nodding slowly. She didn’t really understand Chaewon’s outburst though but for her, she will understand even if she’s confused. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry again, seriously. It’s all on me.” She surrendered.

Chaewon doesn’t look amused at all still, giving her a glare again. “You’re hiding something from me. And I’m sure it’s somehow connected to me.” She mumbled, leaning closer to study Yena’s face once again but that move made the latter yelp, leaning away.

“It’s nothing important, okay?” The older woman answered, more like a hiss because Chaewon hit the bullseye, she didn’t even manage to lie that it’s not all connected about her.

A silence engulfed them for a meanwhile, Yena gritted her teeth and looked away—afraid that she might say something.

But then, Chaewon’s soft low voice intensified. “It’s about me and you won’t tell me?” She concluded with a poker face. “Okay, fine. Whatever, suit yourself.” She gave up, throwing her hands up as a sign of defeat as she rolled her eyes.

Before Yena could even deny, the brunette already opened the door and slammed it close harshly. The bassist clicked her tongue because of her mistake, god damn it, Chaewon could really see through her.

She immediately unbuckled her seatbelt and also went out, running after Chaewon before she could even open the gate. “What are you doing? Go home.” The younger hissed, trying to get her hand back but Yena held it firmly, not letting go.

“What is your problem, Chaewon? Why are you so frustrated? I get that you’re upset but why are you acting so harshly like this?” Yena finally erupted.

Chaewon scoffed, facing her with bloodshot eyes. “B-Because I care!” She stammered.

Yena’s brow shot up in disbelief, trying to ignore the flips her heart did when she shouted that. “If there is someone who is going to be upset between us then it should be me, not you.” She gritted her teeth.

“Oh? And why? Tell me, Yena.” The brunette challenged, leaning even closer to intimidate the older woman.

It was a petty fight Yena knew that. The both of them were just feeling too much mixed emotions right now. Yena, for sure, she’s acting like this because she’s frustrated in herself and her own feelings but Chaewon? She doesn’t get why it is a big deal to her.

“You wouldn’t like it if I tell you, Chaewon.” Yena fired back, the walls she herself built around her feelings started to crack—slowly, the real deep feelings are starting to pour out and she doesn’t like it.

Chaewon scoffed once again, not backing down with their intense staring competition. “No, tell me, Yena. Why are you upset?” She firmly questioned, tilting her chin up.

Yena finally realized that Chaewon is making her open up to her in a rather forceful and harsh way. This god damn woman is really going to be the death of her. Very clever move because she knows the bassist won’t open up unless she knows that Chaewon doesn’t like how she keeps everything to herself.

“I’m so ing upset and frustrated in myself, Chaewon…” Yena started, her voice trailing off but the intensity of her gaze stayed still, finally getting the courage to lean a bit closer but Chaewon did not flinch. “You know why?”

The bassist bit her lower lip hard as the walls started to crush, her hidden feelings crashing over like a tsunami.

It’s Chaewon’s fault. It’s all Chaewon’s fault.

It’s Chaewon’s fault for making Yena fall hard.

“Because I have feelings for you, Chaewon. I love you, not as a friend but in a romantic way.” Yena harshly whispered, her voice wavering as she finally confessed her true feelings.

She was in denial after all. She’s been harboring these fluttery feelings for Chaewon for years now, that is for sure. But yet, she closed her mind at the possibility.

It’s obvious enough, Yena is just dense and in great denial but deep inside, she knows. She freaking knows. Her life literally revolves around Chaewon, yet she failed to notice and acknowledge.

Those blooming feelings inside her chest… are quite something. Very stubborn and vocal whenever Chaewon is around.

She could make everything about Chaewon easily. The girl literally lives in her mind 24/7 rent free yet here she is, dumbly denying that she likes her.

It ing took her a long time to realize and she just admitted it to herself just this very moment and the worse thing is, the moment she realized it—she blurted all of her hidden feelings to Chaewon herself. Wow, she really got some mouth, eh?

Choi Yena suddenly woke up one morning loving Kim Chaewon more than she’s allowed to.

Yena’s quite unsure when her feelings for Chaewon started to bloom, she’s quite unsure when she started to gaze at Chaewon with heart eyes, she’s quite unsure when her heart would suddenly race whenever Chaewon is around, she’s quite unsure when she started to love Kim Chaewon with all her might. She’s just quite unsure when all of these started.

The only thing she’s quite sure at? Chaewon looks so beautiful and Yena is ready to give everything up just to see her sweet, sweet smile.

Chaewon froze while staring at Yena, her honey orbs started to shake as she quietly observed the older woman who had her jaw clenched after the confession.

She tried to spot if her friend was just fooling around, and she waited for her to laugh at her but she knew Yena and how her mind works. The bass player isn’t fooling around. Her eyes are bloodshot, serious and frustrated.

There, Chaewon tried to sink everything in. She couldn’t believe Yena likes her more than a friend. She heard her confession loud and clear.

Her heart skipped a bit.

Yena slowly realized what she had said and her grip on Chaewon’s arm loosened, gulping. She officially lost it.

Cursing at herself for blowing like that suddenly, Yena slowly took a step backward, refusing to meet eyes with the brunette.

“I-It’s getting late, you should enter your place now. I’ll stay out of your sight. Good night.” The bassist muttered albeit coldly, and turned around, ashamed of herself and defeated.

Because of these feelings, she might lose Chaewon. Their precious friendship. But what can she do? She always feels so helpless whenever Chaewon is around, smiling at her beautifully. She understood why her heart fully gave in.

Kim Chaewon is a lovable woman.

With that, she immediately went inside her car, rushing out of that place without giving Chaewon one last glance. She couldn’t bring herself to do it, if she will, then she might have a breakdown.

Yena just left Chaewon like that. She just needs space, she’ll face her soon once she finally collects herself.

//

Chaeryeong was surprised when the doorbell rang, almost flinging her phone away out of surprise. She immediately stood up from the couch, padding towards the door with an arched brow of confusion. They’re not expecting a visitor today though? She doesn’t have a single clue on who might be visiting them at such an hour.

She finally opened the door, readying herself because this person might be a vulgar or criminal ready to rob their house but much to her surprise, it’s just Yena—the bandmate of her older sister.

“Oh, Yena-unnie,” The brunette greeted, fixing her posture with an awkward cough while Yena just tiredly smiled at her, giving her a small wave but said nothing.

Chaeryeong widened the gap of the door, gesturing for the bass player to come in. “Is my older sister expecting you?” She asked, watching Yena take off her shoes and placed it on the rack, wearing the slippers Chaeryeong pointed at. “She never said anything so I was surprised.”

The older woman shook her head with a small smile. “Actually no, I came here without a notice. Is Chaeyeon busy?” She asked, trailing behind Chaeryeong towards the living room.

Shaking her head, Chaeryeong turned to Yena after gesturing for her to make herself comfortable and take a seat. “I think no? She’s probably watching some dance performance and stuff, hold on, let me call her for you.” The brunette said and rushed upstairs to call her older sister.

“So, what brings you here, duck?” Chaeyeon asked Yena the moment she took a seat in front of the unusually quiet and gloomy bass player, eyeing her with a curious gaze.

Chaeryeong gently placed two glasses of tea that she prepared on top of the table before smiling at Yena and gave a nod to her sister. “I’ll let you guys be. If you guys need something, I’ll be just there in my room.” She informed them and finally excused herself for the two to talk privately.

Yena took the hot green tea and gently blew on it before taking a sip, a satisfying bitter taste invaded her tongue. “Well,” She started off, caressing the hot glass with her hands. “I-I had some realization.”

The red haired woman’s eyes remained fixated at her, observing her friend and said nothing, just waiting for Yena to open up on her own will.

“Earlier, I impulsively…” Yena coughed, blushing suddenly. “...c-confessed to Chaewon that I have feelings for her.” She finally dropped the bomb.

Chaeyeon was in awe for a few moments before bursting into an amused laughter, Yena just pouted at her. “Ah, took you long enough. Took you weeks in order to realize and freaking accept,” She responded, wiggling her brows to friend further.

Yena huffed, scratching her cheek as she shook her head. “Well sorry that it took me a long time to sort out my feelings. I’m new to this, Chaeyeon. You know that.” She sighed.

Nodding in understanding, Chaeyeon just chuckled before turning into a more serious demeanor. “So, how was the impulsive confession? How did it go?” She asked, crossing her arms. She couldn’t wait to message the others about this great news that Yena finally got some balls of courage!

The bass player poked her inner cheek with her tongue. “Horrible.” She answered, shoulders slumping. “She noticed that I was acting very differently and forced me to tell what was wrong so I had no choice, she was also a little bit mad. Blurted the feelings I just realized that very moment, on spot.” She continued to share.

Chaeyeon hummed at that, bringing her hand to scratch her chin. “And after that?” She questioned, curious as a cat.

Yena let out a sigh. “I ran away.” She honestly replied, hanging her head down low. After she ran away, she decided to get some fresh air and clear her mind at the Han River. She stayed there for a few hours, with cans of beer and sticks of cigarettes comforting her and her mending her foolishness.

The red head gave Yena a disappointed look, she was expecting something but she forgot that her friend here tends to panic sometimes. “You could’ve tried to talk with her, y’know? I’m sure she has something to say too.” She softly nagged.

Letting out a breathless laugh, the bassist shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t. I can’t face her yet. I’m too embarrassed, and I’m so freaking scared of what she will say. This will affect our close friendship, and I absolutely hate myself for it.” She muttered, obviously troubled.

Chaeyeon looked at her friend with eyes full of pity. Yena will surely blame herself a lot and beat herself for it—because she caught romantic feelings for her close friend. She knows how the older woman’s mind works. She will blame herself for everything, especially when she’s involved.

It’s her unhealthy and toxic trait. Being selfless is one too.

“Cheer up, bud. I’m sure Chaewon won’t distance herself away from you. Just have a decent talk with her one of these days, alright?” The younger woman reassured with a small smile.

Hopefully, Chaewon will be sincere too.

//

For a week, Yena and Chaewon never met up. They also never had a decent talk.

The bass player still messages Chaewon, of course. Her daily reminders. At first, Yena was reluctant but in the end, even just for the reminders—she swallowed her embarrassment and sent her daily reminders but this time, just short and plain.

Chaewon, thankfully, replies every time too although not that lively. Just a simple, ‘okay, thanks.’ or ‘will do.’ it’s enough for Yena. She understood, her friend must be shocked or something.

But it’s killing her inside. Guilt and embarrassment always get her, with fear too. She can’t even properly sleep because she’s overthinking the negative possibilities and outcomes if she and Chaewon ever finally have a talk.

Later on, when they had a band practice—the both of them were very distant to one another which is a foreign sight to the others. They were worried when they saw the close friends avoiding each other, and couldn't even lift their gaze up to take glances. Of course, they knew what happened.

It was very awkward, Chaeyeon and Hyewon tried to brighten the mood but the heavy atmosphere still won over. Yena and Chaewon’s awkward way of interacting with one another already told them that they still haven’t had a talk together.

“I’m trying but I just can’t bring myself to do it, approach her.” Yena would always answer whenever Eunbi asked her about when she should move because the thick tension between them also suffocates the others, worrying them even more.

Another two weeks passed by and Yena couldn’t take it anymore, she tried to spot a perfect timing but she just couldn’t catch Chaewon—it didn’t help that the woman was busy.

“Yena-yah, can you fetch Chaewon from her school and take her to the venue? There is an emergency and I can’t fetch her. You’re the only one available, please?”

When Eunbi called her one afternoon when she was fixing her stuff because they have a gig that very evening, she took that chance. It must be the sign she was seeking for, so she just agreed. She had no choice anyway.

The moment she reached K-ARTS, her confidence went to zero, anxiousness skyrocketing. She walked towards the usual spot where they usually wait for Chaewon like a robot.

As she waited, Yena kept pacing back and forth, obviously nervous as she bit her thumbnail—thinking of what she should say earlier. Gaah, it’s driving her insane. She purposely went here 30 minutes earlier to think and rehearse but she couldn’t even think and function properly.

“Yena-ssi?”

The bass player almost jumped in shock, eyes wide and hand holding her chest, she turned to the owner of that soft familiar voice.

Yiren immediately apologized when she startled the poor woman, bowing a bit. “I’m sorry for surprising you, Yena-ssi.” She muttered, shyly and Yena shook her head furiously, laughing.

“Ahh, no, no. I’m just kind of jumpy today. Anyway, fancy meeting you here again, Yiren-ssi.” Yena said with a cheeky smile, fully facing the younger woman as she fixed her coat.

“I was surprised when I saw a familiar figure. Nice meeting you again, Yena-ssi.” Yiren greeted back with a girly chuckle. “Sorry, I didn’t get to catch up with you. I never had the guts to text you when I got your number.”

Yena’s mouth went agape in realization, oh yeah, she almost forgot she gave her number to Yiren when they first met months ago. Not like it’s a big deal to her anyway. She just shrugged it.

“It’s alright,” The bass player waved it off, chuckling, her nervousness subsided because of the new distraction. Pocketing her hands into the pocket of her beige coat. “Will you be upset if I tell you I forgot that I gave you my number?” She playfully asked.

The foreign and younger woman hummed, thinking, she’s playing along. “Definitely,” She answered with a hilarious face and playful voice which made the both of them laugh.

However, when Yena was about to say something, another familiar voice entered—all too familiar that made the bassist freeze and her heart fluttered.

“What are you doing here?”

The both of them turned to the newcomer who’s approaching them with a poker face. Yena gulped, the nervousness hitting her once again like a ten-wheeler truck, her heart pounded nervously yet fluttering too at the sight of Chaewon.

But what shocked Yena was Chaewon’s hair. She cut it. Her hair is now short, barely reaching her shoulders and she looks absolutely stunning. Yena’s heart isn’t prepared for this change, she’s not used to it.

Long haired Chaewon is beautiful, but short haired Chaewon hit differently. All in all, even if Chaewon goes bald, she will still absolutely rock it and Yena will still be madly in love with the woman.

Yena was still speechless even if Chaewon was already in front of her, two steps away and giving her her usual look and quirked brow. For sure, the bassist was drooling.

She only snapped back in reality when Yiren bowed to Chaewon and gave her a greeting. “Hello, Chaewon-sunbae!” She exclaimed brightly, a charming smile plastered on her lips.

The short haired woman just gave her a nod before turning to Yena who turned into a statue. “I asked you a question.” She firmly said, it seemed like she’s not in the mood.

Yena’s eyes widened, fumbling over words out of panic. , way to go, Choi Yena. “I-Uh… Uhm, Eunbi-unnie—yeah, she… There’s an emergency so she asked me to f-fetch you instead today.” She stammered, hissing to herself after.

“Is that so?” Chaewon asked, dark and low before nodding, pursing her lips into a thin straight line. “Let’s go.” She coldly demanded, walking away abruptly just like that.

The bassist immediately followed behind after bowing to Yiren but had to halt for a moment when the younger shouted, “I’ll text you from now on, Yena-ssi! Please check your phone later!”

Yena just threw her a smile and thumbs up before trying to catch up with Chaewon.

The walk towards the parking lot was very… silent and awkward. Yena couldn’t seem to find the right words to start a conversation with Chaewon, it also didn’t help that Chaewon is in a foul mood, she could tell from the dark aura she’s emitting.

She gulped, drops of sweat forming on her forehead even though it’s cold.

When they reached Yena’s yellow car, the short haired brunette immediately went inside the moment Yena unlocked the doors open using her car keys. The harsh and cold action made the older pout, she was actually going to open the door for Chaewon but the latter beat her up to do it.

She silently slipped inside the car, turning on the engine of her car and drove out of the university.

Mentally, Yena was trying to argue with herself if she should take the risk and talk with Chaewon right now or not because she’s obviously in a bad mood. She bit her lower lip, contemplating.

But before she could decide for herself, she heard a familiar cold voice beside her.

“Why are you meeting with that Yiren girl?” It was low, bitter, and cold as a snowstorm. Yena shivered at the venomous tone Chaewon used.

Clearing , Yena responded casually. “We just met coincidentally when I was waiting for you.” She answered with a little bit of a chirpy tone to brighten up the heavy tension.

She almost yelped when Chaewon sharply turned to her and gave her a cold glare, tiger-like eyes staring at her like she’s a criminal. “Don’t even bother to reply to her when she messages you later or I’ll destroy your phone.” She hissed, it’s an order—a firm order and Yena trembled.

“A-Aye, ma’am.” The older woman stammered, gulping but when she noticed something—she couldn’t help but to bite down a smile.

It took her a few seconds to finally get the confidence to ask. “Perhaps, are you jealous, hmm?” She risked, teasing Chaewon as a smirk formed on her lips, side-eyeing the younger to see her reaction.

That tone, it reeked jealousy and possessiveness. Yena could tell that, she would assume this time. Her heart swelled up at the thought of Chaewon getting jealous over Yiren because of that. She couldn’t help but to giggle.

“What on earth are you on, Choi?” Chaewon asked, giving her dagger looks and scoffed, turning to the other side, hiding her flustered expression. “You’re nuts. I’m concerned about Yiren’s feelings. Knowing you, you might break my junior’s heart.” Added by her.

Yena wanted to laugh, she wanted to squeal in happiness. Chaewon was flustered, she kept blabbering to defend herself. If Chaewon knows Yena like the back of her hand—then the bassist can also read the vocalist like an open book, after spending a lot of time with her and knowing her very well, she can pick up if Chaewon is nervous, lying, anxious—especially if she’s not hiding her emotions well that very moment.

“Hmm ‘kay,” The older just responded, hiding a sheepish grin as she drove.

Something lit up in her chest. A glint of hope, the light of hope that maybe—just maybe, Kim Chaewon has feelings for her too.

//

After their gig that very night, the band members decided to have a drink to chill out—fortunately, all of them were free so they took the opportunity to vibe and just drink until they drop.

Yena, even from the beginning, never intended to drink until she’s drunk because someone needs to bring Chaewon home. And seeing how the woman with new short hair drinks alcohol continuously with a purpose of getting drunk until she passes out, the bass player decided to just take a few shots and keep an eye at her.

It’s alarming that Chaewon is drinking heavily today, she despises alcohol and if she’s in the mood to drink, she’ll just take a few shots or so but this time, Chaewon is already beet red from all the hard drinks she just downed in one go.

Maybe, Chaewon is stressed today? Maybe, something happened?

The bassist is worried as she eyed Chaewon asking for another shot. Even the other members are surprised that the vocalist is going all out today but they all let her because that’s what she wants.

“Chaewon, you’re already drunk, stop.” Eunbi finally scolded the short haired woman and snatched the shot of vodka away from her hold, placing it in front of Yena and the latter immediately drank it so Chaewon won’t have a say.

Groaning sluggishly, Chaewon whined. “L-Let me drink more!” She slurred, blindly reaching for the glass but leaned on the table instead, eyes already squinting.

With a sigh, Minjoo turned to Yena. “Drive her home. She’s nearly wasted,” She instructed and the older woman wordlessly nodded, standing up from her seat and stood in front of Chaewon, chuckling for a moment when she saw how cute the woman was.

“Chaewon, let’s go home,” Yena softly whispered, holding her arm and tried to support her from standing up. Chaewon just growled adorably but she stood up, almost stumbling forward, thankfully—the bassist got a hold of her.

Chaeyeon laughed, shaking her head and tried to help the two. “Carry her, she can’t walk.” She said, and Yena nodded, turning her back and crouched. The keyboardist helped the sleepy and drunk Chaewon to settle onto Yena’s back.

They finally exited the place after bidding goodbye to the other members—with Yena carrying Chaewon like she weighed nothing while Chaeyeon trailed close behind them, holding their bags and supporting the drunk woman slouched on Yena’s back.

On the way to the parking lot, Yena had a little hard time. With Chaewon’s warm breath hitting her neck, it made her a bit wary and ticklish. And the way Chaewon still smells so good even though the smell of alcohol she consumed is too strong than her minty and baby powder scent.

“Drive safely.” Chaeyeon reminded Yena, walking back inside the venue when she finally saw that the two were already inside the car, ready to go home.

A sigh escaped Yena’s lips, turning to Chaewon’s side and saw that she’s already sleeping peacefully, already wearing her seatbelt—Chaeyeon fixed it for her, most probably.

She stayed for a moment, unmoving as she softly stared at Chaewon, smiling a little bit as her gaze traced the drunk woman’s features. Ahh, she will never get tired of worshipping this godly woman who’s currently drunk and sleeping on her passenger seat.

Chuckling at her thought, Yena finally decided to take the journey home. It’s been a long day, she wanted for Chaewon to have a proper rest—especially that she’s very drunk.

In the middle of the quiet ride, Yena heard small shuffling noises beside her and when she took a glance, she saw Chaewon moving a bit, brows forming a knot—looking cute and annoyed, eyes still shut close which made the older woman smile a bit before turning her gaze back to the road.

After a few seconds, she heard a small quiet hoarse voice, “Don’t take me home,” Yena craned her neck again when Chaewon spoke, humming in confusion.

Sighing, Chaewon cleared , scrunching her nose in discomfort. “I-I don’t want to be a nuisance to my roommates, don’t take me home…” She pleaded, although a little bit slurred—Yena could tell that Chaewon could still decently think.

“Alright then,” Yena responded, her lower lip as she thought of a place where she could take Chaewon. Hotel? That’ll take them too long to check in. Well, Yena has one place in mind, hopefully, Chaewon is okay with that. “Should I take you there in my place? You can sleep in the guestroom.”

Chaewon let out a small groan, slowly nodding in agreement. Yena was relieved that the woman didn’t complain or became stubborn.

At least there, she can take care of drunk Kim Chaewon properly.

//

The bassist had a hard time taking Chaewon inside her house without Chaeyeon’s assistance. It took a whole five minutes to get the drunk vocalist into her living room, letting her lay down on the couch first.

Yena sharply exhaled, wiping the sweat that formed on her forehead with the sleeve of her coat, eyeing the drunk woman who’s laying on the couch comfortably.

Before going out again to take their bags from the car, Yena took Chaewon’s shoes off first so the woman would be much comfortable, it didn’t take her long since the younger won’t move, seemingly dead asleep.

“Chae,” Yena whispered, crouching near the woman. “Wake up, you should wash first before I lead you to your bed.” She gently shook the sleeping woman’s shoulders.

It was effective because a few moments after, Chaewon’s eyes fluttered open, unfocused and droopy as she met gazes with the bassist. “Y-Yena?” She whispered breathlessly, squinting her eyes.

Yena giggled, nodding. “Yes, it’s me. Come on, you big baby.” She said, trying to drag Chaewon to sit up. “Do you want some water? Or do you want me to cook something for you?” She asked, worried.

Chaewon didn’t move, just hanging her head down low and Yena assumed that she was probably dizzy and sighed, sitting beside her and tried to take off the vocalist’s jacket to make her comfortable.

However, before she could even fully take it off, Chaewon suddenly held her hand—turning her body to face her. Yena’s brow shot up, leaning a little bit closer. “Hey, are you okay? Do you want to go to the bathroom or something? Let me—” She got cut off when Chaewon did something unexpected.

The short haired brunette tilted her chin up to match her face and took the space between their faces. Her one hand moving on Yena’s nape to pull her closer while she met her halfway, crashing their lips together.

Yena’s mind went blank. All she could feel was Chaewon's soft and cold lips against hers. Her ability to move, think, and speak suddenly disappeared after Chaewon’s sudden action.

Chaewon weakly pulled her closer to her, finally moving against Yena’s lips hungrily. Her other hand moved to clutch the older woman’s jacket, while the hand on Yena’s nape s upwards to cup her jaw, steadying her.

Yena actually doesn’t know what to do. Chaewon… kissing her is something she never expected at all, at this time? She doesn’t know what to feel. Yes, her heart is racing, fluttering happily as the butterflies start to fill her stomach—liking the feeling of the vocalist kissing her.

Her heart desired to kiss back, respond back but deep inside Yena, she knew it was wrong. Chaewon is not in her right mind—she’s intoxicated, she’s not thinking straight.

As Yena imagined and dreamt of, Chaewon’s lips felt so nice—so soft and sweet—so freaking addicting. It’s like Yena got a taste of a drug, now she wants more, she will beg for more, she can’t get enough of it.

Chaewon’s lips are like a drug to Yena even though she only got to taste it for the first time. It’s already addicting, so sweet and lovely with a tinge of bitterness because of the alcohol she consumed earlier.

Even though she’s badly tempted, she held herself back from kissing back. Yena respects Chaewon so much to the point she’ll never take advantage of a small situation like this. Not Chaewon.

“Chae—stop, C-Chaewon, no.” Yena pushed the drunk woman away from her weakly, her whole-being was so weak because of the sweet kisses Chaewon is giving to her.

The vocalist didn’t stop, immediately catching Yena’s lips back when the latter would pull away—Yena tried her best to pull back, pulling herself back to the point she almost fell back to the couch but Chaewon is surprisingly strong despite being drunk.

Yena let out a yelp when Chaewon climbed on her lap, straddling her and pinning her against the backrest of the couch, her slender hands cupping and caressing her reddening flushed cheeks—giving her a sultry look, smoky tiger-like eyes seducing her.

Heat started to form in between her legs. Not just there, but it’s spreading through her every piece of whole being.

“Don’t you want this, Yena?” Chaewon whispered to her, leaning closer to ghost her swollen lips to Yena’s pair. The bassist sharply inhaled, Chaewon smelled like alcohol, still pleasant though.

Yena gulped, pushing Chaewon away and stared right back at those sparkly honey orbs clouded by desire. For a moment, the woman thought Chaewon was looking at her like she’s in love with her but she was all wrong, it’s just desire and lust.

That thought slapped Yena, her heart aching.

“No, I don’t want this, Chaewon.” Yena responded, clenching her jaw—shivering when she felt Chaewon’s fingertips sliding on her jawline and moved to her collarbone, tracing it.

Chaewon is like an apple while Yena is Eve but this time, Yena will never let herself get seduced and succumb into something that both of them might regret later on.

“I will never kiss you back and touch you when you’re under the influence of alcohol. I will never take advantage of you. My respect for you is higher than you think, Chaewon-ah.” Yena said, trying to knock some sense to Chaewon who’s still straddling her lap. “I’ll only do it when the feeling is mutual, when you sincerely tell me that you love me back.”

Chaewon froze at that, just staring at her with a blank gaze. Yena gulped, trying to take her off her lap but the woman stayed still, stubbornly keeping them into that intimate position.

Then suddenly, Chaewon dipped forward and for a second, Yena thought she was about to kiss her again but the younger just settled on her neck gently, pouring all of her weight to Yena. The vocalist started to pepper Yena’s neck with soft kisses but it did not last long, just a few kisses and she stopped, just resting her head there.

Confused, Yena remained unmoving and soon, she could feel Chaewon’s breathing started to go calm—she realized that the woman most probably fell asleep… just like that.

She gave Yena a heart attack just like that.

//

The morning after, Yena was quietly cooking breakfast—preparing it carefully as she waited for a certain someone to descend from downstairs.

After what happened last night, Yena just carried Chaewon upstairs and tucked her into the blanket—letting her sleep peacefully while she went back to her room to take a rest and sleep too but failed. She managed to only sleep for an hour because thoughts kept filling up her mind.

It didn’t help that Chaewon’s droopy seductive gaze would flash in her mind every second, keeping her wide awake—and the feeling of Chaewon’s soft lips moving against her own never faded, haunting her throughout until this very moment.

Everything really confused her—she doesn’t know if she will be happy if Chaewon ever tells her that she remembers what happened last night or not. She’s just afraid of what will happen later when the vocalist wakes up.

All she wanted is for Chaewon not to regret and blame herself if ever.

She finished preparing the meal when finally, Chaewon went down—groggily walking in the kitchen, looking like a mess and definitely suffering from a massive headache, hangover.

“Mornin’.” Yena greeted the woman who just sat on the chair, still massaging her temples. She immediately gave her some water and meds that will help her.

Chaewon immediately took it, drinking them all in one go—eyes squinting because of the repeated pounding in her head. She will never drink again, she promised to herself, she feels like .

“I panicked for a few moments, I thought some stranger brought me to their house… Thankfully, a flash of memories washed through me. I’m grateful for what you did to me, Choi.” Chaewon started to speak, still in pain but managed to grumble out some words with her husky voice.

Yena sighed, taking a seat in front of her. “Of course,” She murmured before gesturing for her to eat. “You should eat now so you’ll feel better, you drank last night without eating dinner.”

With that, the both of them silently ate their breakfast. Chaewon would wince from time to time but she looked better than before so Yena did not worry much, the medicine probably started to kick in.

In the middle of eating, Yena decided to finally talk about last night. “Chaewon…” She started off with a weak call. “About last night,”

Chaewon did not look up at her, continuing to eat. “Let’s forget it all. Everything that happened, forget it.” She coldly responded.

That made the bassist freeze, turning to Chaewon who refused to meet her eyes, just busying herself by eating her food. She gave the younger woman a look of disbelief, her heart shattering into pieces. Those words hurt Yena badly, she couldn’t even bring herself to respond because she was trying to hold back her tears.

So, those kisses meant nothing? Just got carried away because she’s drunk, that’s it? That’s ing all?!

She’s so mad at herself, not to Chaewon but to herself.

Finally after a few seconds, Chaewon turned to her—giving her a brief glance, a cold and sharp one yet desperate. “Let’s pretend like nothing happened, let’s pretend like how I pretended you didn’t confess to me that very day. It was all a mistake.” She added before continuing to eat.

That broke Yena even more, she’s gripping on her utensils so tight that the metal almost bended into half. She couldn’t even breathe properly. It’s like her heart got stabbed by thousands of swords.

Kim Chaewon shattered her whole.

Yena’s world turned gray.

//

And as Chaewon wanted to, Yena pretended nothing happened between them that very night—acting like everything is alright but inside, she’s hurting and she’s very broken. She never showed it, even to Chaeyeon—no one knows how much shattered she is.

Yena pretends that she’s not in love with Chaewon after that painful talk.

At first, it was too painful. Yena was so hurt that she couldn’t even stop crying all day locked into her room, even drinking every night in order to sleep. But whenever there are other people near her, she will put up a facade.

She tried her best for her and Chaewon’s friendship to be intact, she pretended that everything was alright.

At first, it was awkward for the both of them but Yena became a little bit numb and a good actress so she played, she acted around Chaewon like how she usually acts. Like a great close friend, although she wouldn’t dare to initiate a skinship with her—the bickerings soon came back.

Yena thought it’s for the better. Although Chaewon never directly rejected her, it’s enough of a slap for her to stop everything, stop these petty fluttery feelings she has for Chaewon.

A year passed on just like that. Many things happened but at the same time, nothing much happened.

After that talk they had in the morning—Yena went back into her old habits.

Okay, she tried to stop it because she promised to Chaewon but she’s too broken and in need of a companion so she often slept around with people. Secretly though, she doesn’t want to get Chaewon’s judgemental and disgusted look ever again.

Well, she tried herself to commit and date but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She’s still madly in love with Chaewon after all. Although, it’s also bad sleeping with other people even just for a night when she’s in love with another woman but what can she do?

Yena is too lonely, too broken—so desperate to forget Chaewon.

But even after a year, her love for Kim Chaewon never faded even just a bit and much to her frustration—it just went stronger and stronger. Even if the vocalist broke her heart to the fullest, it still managed to yearn for Chaewon—love Chaewon unconditionally.

Yena’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and the feeling of emptiness hit her once again. She took a deep breath and sat up, ruffling her now black hair in frustration.

Same tiger-like eyes, pools of honey orbs—staring at her so intensely and burning her to edge haunted her dreams again. She mumbled a curse under her breath.

“Thanks for last night, it was fun,” Yena followed the voice and saw a familiar stranger standing in front of the dresser, fully clothed and combing her hair. The bass player just stared at her with a blank look. “Too bad I need to go to work.” She said and stopped combing her long blonde hair, walking up to Yena, boldly tracing the latter’s bare shoulders with her finger.

“Here’s my number, you can call me anytime, sweetheart.” The nameless woman said, handing her a piece of paper and pressed a kiss on Yena’s cheek before walking out of the hotel room.

With a sigh, Yena just shook her head and finally slipped out of the bed, taking her clothes from the carpet and wore it. The moment she got her shoes on and took her phone and wallet with her, she also went out of that hotel room, not forgetting to dump the piece of paper to the trashcan before fully getting out.

She checked her phone and saw some notifications about her work, there were praises and comments of her clients on her work—they all looked satisfied, thankfully.

Yena finally graduated from her university, and just worked at home as a graphic designer, an independent one. She’s trying to save some money to start her own office and hire other graphic designers.

Her parents offered her to work for their medium sized company in China but she refused. She also refused the money they offered so she could already create what she wanted. She would rather start from scratch, do everything on her own before establishing a small group.

Placing a gum into , she rode her car and finally drove out of that hotel. She needs to meet with the band members for lunch in the restaurant Hyewon manages to celebrate Yuri’s birthday.

Thankfully, she still has some time to wash up and dress into more fresh clothes.

When she reached the restaurant, everybody except her were already there, talking with one another and laughing. They all just greeted Yena with a nod and let the newcomer take a seat beside Chaewon.

Yena casually sat beside the short haired woman, cooly blending into the conversation even though her heart is actually flipping in happiness since she’s near Chaewon.

The lunch went out smoothly, still the same and all—lively. They all went to Yuri’s grave afterwards, and stayed there for a few hours to bond with their late friend, talking about the past and all.

When the sun went down, they all decided to go home.

As usual, Yena will drive Chaewon home. The car ride is not awkward, the both of them are not that awkward anymore, but it’s unusually quiet today—Chaewon is quiet.

Speaking of Chaewon—the woman also graduated from her school and is now working as a theater actress which is not surprising. But even though, she still tries her best to join gigs.

When they reached Chaewon’s place, Yena pulled over, stopping her car on the driveway and waited for the vocalist to go outside but she just stayed still, looking at the windshield in front of her.

“What’s wrong?” Yena couldn’t help but to ask worriedly.

Chaewon gave her a sharp look that made her flinch a bit, then her gaze lowered down, eyeing something there with an annoyed gaze.

The older woman almost got a heart attack when Chaewon suddenly held the collar of her shirt, tugging it down. “Why do you have that on your neck?” She asked harshly with a clenched jaw.

Yena’s brow shot up in confusion. “What?” She asked, reaching for her neck consciously and froze when she realized something.

“Who gave you that hickey?” Chaewon sharply asked once again, still holding her collar tightly while Yena could only curse under her breath.

She already strictly said to that woman from last night to not leave a mark but , she even left one! And placed it to somewhere visible, man. This will be the first time she got caught red handed but why is she feeling guilty? She’s cheating to no one anyway.

“Yiren messaged me last night about getting disappointed because you suddenly cut y’alls date short,” The vocalist said, her voice laced by annoyance and rage, finally letting go of Yena and just gave her a glare.

Rolling her eyes, Yena clicked her tongue. “We already hung out for three hours, I got bored and it’s not a date. Me and Yiren are not dating, Chaewon.” She said, averting her gaze, also getting annoyed.

Wang Yiren. Yena tried to date her if she’s being honest but it just didn’t work out, she just sees the younger woman as a friend and little sister. She knows that Yiren likes her so she tried, thinking she might be the person that can help Yena move on but in the end, the bass player ended up yearning for Chaewon still.

She also directly told Yiren that she couldn’t offer anything else but friendship and the woman agreed but still kept asking her for some hang-outs, alone together. Yena would just agree because she’s bored or she doesn’t have the heart to reject her—and because maybe, Chaewon monitors their ‘relationship’, pushing her to Yiren.

“Yiren likes you! She wants to date you, Yena!” Chaewon raised her voice and it caught Yena off-guard, annoyance rising up on top of her head but she kept mum. “Why, Yena? Would you rather spend time with some instead of finding someone and settle happily with them?!”

Yena bit her lower lip, trying to suppress her rage. She really hated it. It felt like she’s the dirtiest person to ever exist once again because of Chaewon’s words.

“Yes! Because I don’t want commitments! I don’t want to settle down yet! I want to fool around with some instead. And what’s the deal of it with you, Chaewon? This is my life, let me live how I want it.” The bass player finally snapped, annoyance getting the best of her.

Chaewon gasped at that, giving her those disgusted and dirty looks. “You’re extreme,” She shook her head in disappointed. “This is why you can’t find the right person and fall in love with them—because you kept fooling around.” She remarked through gritted teeth.

She doesn’t get why Chaewon is also getting angry over this matter. Yes, they’re close friends but close friends will support, not go berserk! She has some points but Yena didn’t like how she’s really meddling at how she wanted to live her life. Chaewon is crossing the line as a friend.

Yena turned to Chaewon, eyeing her intensely with a clenched jaw, holding the wheel tightly. “I’m in love with someone, I already fell in love.” She started off coldly, staring at Chaewon. “But guess what! She doesn’t love me back so I’m trying to forget her even temporarily through fooling around with other people!”

Ever since that talk last year, they never brought the topic once again—even subtle of it, no one dared to talk about it and this is the first time it will be brought back.

Chaewon froze at that, her unfocused eyes glaring right through her—she’s heavily breathing. “You’re in love, then why won’t you behave?” She croaked out, and Yena immediately got the message she was trying to imply.

The older woman scoffed, rolling her eyes with a sarcastic laugh. “You think that’s how it all works, Chaewon?” She muttered with a venomous tone. “I’m so crazy for her, so ing crazy that’s why I’m lost—I don’t know what to do. I’m chained but at the same time it feels like I’m not.” She tilted her head, eyeing the younger woman with a challenging gaze.

Gulping, Chaewon said nothing, just avoiding her gaze and as Yena expected, the woman will avoid it once again but sorry to her, she’s tired of pretending, she’s so exhausted at this kind of set-up.

“Come on, Chaewon. I’m still madly in love with you, you can tell that.” Yena said, grinning sheepishly yet bitterly. She saw how Chaewon’s breath hitched at the revelation. “Until now, I still don’t know what to do. You know why?” She coldly whispered, loud enough for the other woman to hear.

Chaewon refused to meet her eyes, but it’s visible that she’s shaking. Yena took a lungful of air before speaking once again, not holding back anymore—she doesn’t know when this topic will be inserted again in the future so she’s already pouring everything.

“You never directly rejected me, Chaewon. You just told me to pretend, that’s all.” The older woman said, biting her lower lip as she chuckled to herself. “I only managed to ask this to you today, after more than a year because I will do anything that you will tell me, Chaewon. You wanted me to pretend, I did, until I finally lost my sanity.” She murmured weakly.

The tension in the car is noticeably heavy and thick. With Yena’s frustration finally reaching its limit, and Chaewon’s greatest fear happening before her.

“Now that I’m so exhausted pretending that I’m not in love with you, pretending you didn’t kiss me that night. Please, do me—do us both a favor,” Yena continued on, her voice was strained.

Slowly turning to Chaewon’s direction, she was glad that the younger was finally looking back at her—eyes glimmering with tears and confusion, also fear—if Yena’s right. She gave the short haired brunette a pleading gaze and a small tired smile.

“Tell me you don’t love me, Chaewon, right now—right in front of my ing face so my shattered heart won’t yearn for you anymore.” Yena weakly begged, her voice sounded desperate.

The color in Chaewon’s existence drained.

For a few moments, Yena braced herself to hear the words she swore she doesn’t want to hear from Chaewon. But if Chaewon ever says those words then she can finally walk on forward, it’s for the better so everything will be clear, so her broken heart will finally give up.

But after waiting, Chaewon never uttered a word, just staring at her with a blank look and that made Yena screw her eyes shut in frustration, hanging her head down low with a tired sigh. She nodded to herself, her lips slowly forming to a smile and then to a smirk that later on turned into an amused grin.

She’s going crazy.

Giggling to herself, Yena turned her head up once again to take a good look at Chaewon, grinning at her. “You’re making things hard even more, Chae. You’re bringing me to hope blindly again. Your silence is starting to bring me some hope again.” She said, unbuckling her seatbelt and then leaned on the backrest, staring at the roof of her car, letting out a puff of breath.

Yena turned her body to Chaewon, facing her once again and gave her an amused look, leaning closer but the short haired woman remained silent, staring in daze. “I will repeat it one more time, Kim Chaewon.” She murmured.

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

And silence once again. Yena let out a breathless laugh, sliding her fingers in her black locks, shaking her head. “Are you confused, Chaewon?” She questioned, poking her inner cheek with her tongue.

She then opened her door, slipping out of her car and went to the sidewalk, taking a lungful of fresh air and stared at the night sky. It’s very silent in this neighborhood and she likes the peacefulness—Chaewon picked the right place to live alone. No wonder Chaewon moved here to live independently.

The younger woman also went out of the car, silently settling beside her. Yena’s heart fluttered, the feeling of rainbows bursting all over her chest intensified making her smile a bit but she should lessen her expectations.

“You will just sincerely say you don’t love me or the feeling is mutual, Chaewon. You can’t be confused, it’s been a year already, you should’ve known your real feelings by now.” Yena whispered into the air, pocketing her hands.

The bass player just closed her eyes, trying to feel the air hitting her skin. It calmed her, she likes the feeling of it—so peaceful, so healing. She should really camp on her rooftop once again when she’s not so busy anymore.

“I-I can’t,”

Yena’s eyes fluttered open when she heard Chaewon’s soft troubled voice. She faced the younger woman, tilting her head as she took a step closer. “What do you mean you can’t?” She breathlessly asked.

Chaewon gulped, her lips quivering. “I can’t commit y-yet.” She answered.

That made Yena laugh. What kind of answer was that? She asked her to tell her true feelings but once again, she received an indirect answer.

“I was asking you to be honest about your feelings to me, yet you gave me a ridiculous answer.” Yena chuckled, stepping closer to Chaewon and their eyes met. She saw the universe in Chaewon’s eyes.

“But okay then, I’ll try to understand,” The older woman snickered to herself and let out a sigh, Chaewon just gulped. “I don’t do commitments too, Chaewon.” She smiled, finally just in front of the younger woman.

This time—suddenly, Chaewon felt so reachable, so close to her.

“You want to do something casual with me? No labels, no responsibilities? I’ll gladly do it with you,” Yena shakily said, her hand reaching for Chaewon’s arm, holding her. “I don’t care anymore, I just want you near me.” She desperately whispered, pulling the younger woman closer to her and engulfed her into a warm and tight hug.

“This time, I’ll be greedy and take all the chances.”

It’s wrong. Yena fell into Chaewon’s trap again. But if it means she’ll get to hold Chaewon closer to her, she’ll gladly put her heart in the line.

Suddenly, Yena doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.

//

Two days after that one fateful evening, Yena decided to pay Chaewon a surprise visit.

It’s a wonderful day, especially to Yena who literally made an effort to dress up more nicely and cooly this time. She actually hesitated if she should buy some flowers when reality hit her that she’s not courting Chaewon, they will be those ‘more than friends less than lovers’ type of a couple.

Heh, she shouldn’t be so disappointed, she agreed to this.

She greeted some workers of the small apartment complex before running her way towards Chaewon’s unit. Fixing herself a little bit before ringing the doorbell and not long after, she heard the woman’s muffled shout inside and soon, the door was opened.

“Yena?” Chaewon was surprised at the older woman’s sudden appearance in front of her door. Yena just threw her a sheepish grin, taking a short moment to appreciate the short haired woman’s beauty.

The vocalist is wearing a white tank top with shorts, and there’s a towel wrapped around her hair—she just definitely showered. And it looks like she doesn’t have any plans for today. Well, thank goodness because Yena has a plan for them.

“Hey,” She greeted, biting down a smile.

Chaewon blinked, a little bit shy still but widened the gap of the door for Yena to enter her small yet cozy apartment unit. The bassist immediately made herself home and walked to the living room, following Chaewon with her sparkly excited eyes.

“What brings you here?” The younger asked, not really rude—curious only at her sudden appearance as she took off the towel from her head, letting her drenched short brown hair fall.

Yena gave her a puppy smile. “Do you have plans for today?” Instead of answering she threw a question instead, trying to confirm it.

Chaewon blinked, shaking her head slowly. “No, I’ll just stay home.”

The bass player beamed, getting onto her feet and marched down towards Chaewon like a human bulldozer, just halting when she’s close enough. “That’s great,” She exclaimed then gave her another smile. “Let’s go out then, let’s have a date.” She chirped, poking her tongue a bit, stuck between her teeth.

Dumbly looking at her, the vocalist could only mutter a small flustered and confused, “Eh?”

Yena puckered her lips, tilting her head innocently. “Friends date all the time, right?” She asked, implying something. She knew she was referring to their complicated ‘friendship’. It made Chaewon hiss and blush a bit.

“Okay,” The younger surrendered, not finding the plan so awful. “What place do you have in mind then, ducky?” She asked swiftly, tilting her head a bit to match Yena’s eye level.

Shrugging, Yena inched closer which made Chaewon lean backward, her back hitting the wall, feeling trapped all of a sudden due to the older’s move. “Mall.” The bassist answered, tipping her head to angle it.

That move made Chaewon’s breath hitch. Because of what happened two days ago, Yena is much bolder and confident this time—she indirectly got Chaewon’s consent to advance some moves to her already.

“When we first kissed, I was upset because you were the one who initiated it and because of a circumstance I hate, I didn’t manage to kiss you back,” Yena whispered, her voice is low and deep, making Chaewon recall that boldness and foolishness she did last year.

A crimson red tint started to spread over her pale cheeks but she kept staring back at Yena, too mesmerized at the chocolate orbs, wanting to drown herself into the pools of those eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Yena asked, smiling at her a bit before sneering. “As a friend?” She teased.

Chaewon snickered at that, Yena is not going to let her live with their… uhm, label-less relationship that she herself made up. She really won’t let her live because she said she couldn’t commit. This woman, really…

“Sure, bestie.” The younger woman replied, playing along which made Yena laugh hard, pulling her closer.

The bass player then inched her face closer to Chaewon’s face, breaths mingling together and the tip of their noses touching. “You’re really something else, Kim Chaewon.” She muttered huskily before pressing her lips against the younger woman’s.

After a year or so, Yena finally got to taste Chaewon’s lips once again. The drug she got addicted to after one taste. It’s still soft and warm, also sweet. She couldn’t get enough of it.

She s her arm around Chaewon’s slender waist, pulling her closer until their bodies flushed with one another, still kissing the younger woman so passionately and deeply.

Chaewon tried to match Yena’s pace, responding to her soft yet passionate kisses—pulling her closer by coiling her arms around the older woman’s nape. She almost forgot how good it feels kissing Yena but it’s way different right now, the bassist is kissing her back and she’s sober.

Yena nibbled her lower lip, gliding her tongue over it after and it softly—Chaewon shivered at that action, letting out a small whimper.

, Choi Yena is one of a hell of a good kisser. Chaewon’s mind went blank.

The hot kisses only stopped when Yena pulled away for air, sensing that Chaewon was having trouble breathing. She eyed the younger woman who’s panting lightly, cheeks pink and flushed, lips swollen and red after that intense make out.

Even if the younger woman lacked experience, she did a great job responding back to Yena’s kisses. At some point, Yena almost fell down into her knees because Chaewon’s kisses really made her feel so weak.

“Chaewon,” Yena breathed out, her hold around the short haired brunette’s waist tightened. “I’m already addicted to your kisses.” She whispered, pressing another kiss on Chaewon’s lips then broke out into a grin.

“So brace yourself for more kisses in the future, bestie.”

//

When they reached the mall, the both of them immediately went to the nearest café that they could find—ordering some refreshing drinks to beat the heat and so they would be occupied with something as they roam around.

“Do you want to check some clothes, y’know? Girly things?” Yena asked Chaewon who’s just silently walking beside her while sipping on her iced americano.

The younger woman turned to her, her brow shooting up at what she had said. “Of course, what are we here for anyway, just to walk and enjoy the air-conditioning? And what do you mean by that? You’re a girl too,” She laughed at that, shaking her head in disbelief.

Pouting, Yena just scratched her nape. “Not fond of shopping, to be honest. I just shop when I really need new clothes.” She answered, taking a large sip from her iced tea then blushed when Chaewon giggled.

“I hope you have tons of patience when it comes to waiting, Choi. I love checking stalls and stuff.” The short haired brunette playfully wiggled her brows at the older woman.

Yena just snickered to herself. Oh, she definitely has tons of patience when it comes to Chaewon, unfortunately, the latter doesn’t know that.

After finishing their drinks, Chaewon immediately went inside a shop she found very interesting—with Yena following her. She couldn’t help but to lightly check some clothes and inspect some of the products displayed in the shops whenever the younger one was taking too long.

Stall to another stall, Chaewon happily browsed through the aisle while Yena would follow her like she’s her loyal puppy.

Hours gone by just like that—Yena couldn’t even bring herself to be annoyed because Chaewon was always taking too long to check some shops then exit the place empty-handed after lounging around there and admiring the products offered for hours.

Chaewon looked very peaceful and content by just looking at those things.

They ate some snacks afterwards, corn dogs and milkshakes—the both of them were famished and tired after walking around and checking shops for hours.

Soon, after they took a small break, they entered a jewelry shop.

This time, Yena found something that really caught her eyes. She never thought she would be interested in expensive accessories, she only likes buying watches and piercings but now—she found anklets very nice.

She eyed the silver pair of anklets displayed at the glass, observing it for a meantime now. The saleslady already told her the high price which is reasonable, it came from a top-notch accessory brand after all and she said that it’s perfect for couples.

That made Yena smile, thinking that it would look good if Chaewon wears this one while she wears the other one. Maybe soon, when they are official, Yena will buy this immediately.

Chaewon noticed that she had been staring at the same item for quite a while now and walked towards her after checking some bracelets. “Found something interesting?” She asked the older woman. “Anklets?”

Yena turned to her with a smile, nodding. “Yes. I found them great, I want to buy it for us to wear. I like them better than bracelets or necklaces, those two are so overrated.” She playfully said which earned a light slap on the arm from the younger woman.

The older woman just pouted. “Maybe not so soon.” She added light heartedly and giggled awkwardly before shifting the topic. “Anyway, are you going to buy something?”

Chaewon nodded at that, pointing at the earrings section and already went back there, not even waiting for Yena.

With one last glance at the anklets that caught her eyes, the bass player just followed Chaewon, helping her choose what new earrings to buy.

//

The rest of their first ‘date’ went smoothly and successfully. They just mostly roamed around the mall with drinks and food in their hands, then watched some movie that Chaewon found interesting.

Throughout, Yena chickened out on holding Chaewon’s hand so when she took the younger home and went back to her own house, she was pouting and sulking—angry at herself that she didn’t even manage to hold Chaewon’s hand.

Well, she still won that day because the vocalist herself gave Yena a brief hug before dashing inside her unit.

After their date, it was followed by another one, another one—and another one until Yena finally lost count because they are always together most of the time. The bass player made herself acquainted in Chaewon’s home, always visiting the woman to check on her and bring her some food or drinks then spend a few hours there.

Chaewon seemed not to mind it, getting used at her presence around her apartment. She liked the company anyway since sometimes, it’s very lonely there when she’s alone. Yena lights the whole home up whenever she’s there.

Even if Yena spent countless times there—she’ll clarify, nothing happened between them. They sometimes make-out but that’s just it, Yena’s very much alright with it though, she wouldn’t ask for more because it’s already enough for her. She wouldn’t do something that will make Chaewon uncomfortable.

Chaewon’s kisses are enough to tame her.

It’s a very lazy Friday afternoon when Yena paid Chaewon another visit, bringing some snacks for them to eat. The younger woman was actually practicing for another play that will happen next month when Yena caught her.

“I already secured myself some tickets for that,” Yena said, bringing a piece of nugget inside before feeding Chaewon some, which the latter gladly took—just opening while the older woman fed her like she’s her precious child.

Of course, there is no way Yena will miss Chaewon’s musical. As her supportive, uhm, bestie—she’s always there to show support and admire the younger woman’s talent in acting and singing. She’s never getting tired of watching her.

Perks of working at home, Yena has a very flexible schedule. She’s mostly free and in that free time, she will pour all of it with Chaewon.

“Will the others come?” The short haired brunette asked, lazily chewing the nugget as she rested her legs on top of Yena’s lap, resting her upper body on the space left in her couch.

Yena shrugged, placing the empty bucket on the table in front of them then passed some pieces of chocolates to Chaewon. “I think Eunbi will watch.” She answered, recalling when she asked the others if they will go to Chaewon’s play next month and their manager said she might.

Speaking of the other band members—no one really knew the deal between them. Chaewon asked Yena not to tell them, not to tell anyone about their complicated relationship. She asked to keep it a secret between them and Yena actually doesn't mind since they aren’t exactly a couple.

They’re just a couple of besties who kiss each other and go on dates!

No one dared to speak after that again, both of them focused on watching the variety show airing on the television. However, Yena—naughty and playful as she is, suddenly leaned closer to Chaewon, crawling above her then rested on top of the startled younger who’s unwrapping her nth piece of chocolate to eat.

“Yena!” Chaewon exclaimed with an annoyed tone, immediately consuming the small piece of goodness. She knows how clingy Yena is but still, she gets startled every time the woman latches onto her and initiates a very bold move.

Yena ignored her whines and just settled on top of her peacefully, nestling her head on the younger woman’s shoulders with a soft satisfied sigh—catching a whiff of strong mint and baby powder scent.

When Chaewon relaxed under her, she also slowly became less tense—closing her eyes, loving the warm feeling she’s getting from the vocalist’s body. It’s very comfortable there.

A wicked idea suddenly entered the bassist’s mind, a smirk forming on her lips then pressed a small chaste kiss on Chaewon’s exposed skin at the base of her neck. The younger obviously flinched.

It didn’t stop there, she kept showering Chaewon some kisses on her neck, throat, jawline, and even on her exposed collarbone. The woman started to squirm below her, holding her arm as a warning with a grunt. “Stop it. It tickles me.” She hissed.

Yena chuckled, using her arms to lift her weight up, offering her a great view of Chaewon under her—glaring her cutely with blushing cheeks. “It tickles, huh?” She gave her a sly grin.

Chaewon’s eyes widened in horror when she realized what Yena was about to do but before she could even escape her hold, the bassist started to attack her sides, tickling her mercilessly.

“O-Oh my god, stop—Yen—HAHA! , CHOI YENA! S-Stop it!” Chaewon begged, crying and laughing while at the same time annoyed as she tried to stop Yena from tickling her.

Yena just laughed, only stopping when she saw that Chaewon became weak and tired because of the tickle attack she did. The younger woman could only pant heavily, weakly punching Yena’s chest as revenge. “I h-hate you so much.”

The bassist smiled lovingly at her, tucking some of the few stray hairs behind Chaewon’s ear then proceeded to cup her cheek and caress it softly. The sight of the younger woman glaring at her with a scrunched face in slight annoyance below her really made Yena’s heart flutter in content and happiness.

She dipped her head down, aiming for a kiss and Chaewon’s eyes instantly screwed shut, waiting for another pair of lips to engulf her own. Chuckling at the involuntary reaction the younger made, Yena didn’t let her down.

Pressing a kiss down to Chaewon’s lips, she slowly and gently moved her own against the other woman’s pair. It’s full of loving and fondness, not in haste, no dominance—just soft and slow, cherishing the lovely moment.

However, Yena never really intended to make it longer—just a sweet and short one but Chaewon’s hands suddenly s on her chest up to her nape, pulling her closer and has an intent to prevent her from pulling away, her fingers brushing along the older woman’s skin—nails gently digging through the latter’s flesh of her neck, enticing Yena to kiss her longer and deeper.

Chaewon kissed her back, equally passionate to the point that Yena’s knees almost gave in from supporting her weight on top of the vocalist but her kisses never faltered.

The atmosphere started to get more warm, tension between them thick and hot but still, very soft and light too—as the lovers intimately made out on the couch, with the running television setting the mood up even better.

Both of them are intoxicated with each other.

Yena, in the middle of their heated kiss, whispered quietly but full of sincereness and feelings.

“And I love you so much.”

//

Yena immediately stood up from her seat and clapped happily, even shouting some words for hype. She proudly grinned as she eyed Chaewon down there at the stage and spotlight from her seat.

Chaewon’s play just ended and it went smoothly, thankfully. No accidents or malfunctions—the actors and actresses didn’t forget any line or moves, they did their job perfectly and portrayed the characters nicely.

Especially the main star of the night, none other than Kim Chaewon. She did exceptionally well.

Yena saw some professionals giving them a standing ovation too, obviously impressed at the show which really made her chest swell in pride.

Earlier, Chaewon called Yena, blabbering about how nervous she was because there would be some foreign professional theater actors and directors that will watch their play today.

The older woman just reassured her and instructed her to eat some chocolates as usual to become less anxious and become more confident.

“This calls for a celebration!” Eunbi announced with a bright grin beside her, still clapping as the huge red curtains started to close. Yena nodded furiously, liking the idea, they should celebrate it!

The manager immediately excused herself to personally inform and fetch the other members while Yena will wait for Chaewon. It will take the woman an hour or more to finally escape the swarm of people because of course, she’s the main star tonight.

Yena understood that, she’s more than willing to wait anyway. She also informed Chaewon that she will wait too so she patiently waited for her in front of the venue.

An hour later, the vocalist suddenly messaged her—asking her to go to the backstage to fetch her since she has some things to carry. Yena immediately obliged, asking some staff where might be the backstage Chaewon was saying.

It took her fifteen minutes to find it because there were some guards that she needed to talk with and confirm that she’s one of the actors’ friends. She understood that very well though, she spotted a lot of fans trying to enter the said place—she snickered when she saw a guy holding a banner of Chaewon, begging the guard to let her meet the main star of the play.

When she reached the backstage, she immediately spotted Chaewon—her back was facing Yena but she could already recognize that figure. Her smile widened.

The short haired brunette is actually talking to some people and Yena recognized some of them, silently gasping when she saw the familiar faces of the foreign professionals from earlier.

They were talking with Chaewon, smiling impressively at her. Soon after, Chaewon gave each of them a bow and handshake—and after that, the actors walked out, leaving the younger woman there, seemingly staring at something she was holding on her hands.

Yena decided to surprise her, creeping up behind her quietly with a sly smile—and when Chaewon didn’t notice Yena’s presence, the latter held her shoulders. “Boo!”

Flinching, the younger woman let out a surprised squeal—making some of the staff look at their direction. Chaewon turned to her and was greeted by Yena’s smug grin, punching her on the shoulders instantly. “Ugh, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

Laughing, Yena just held Chaewon’s hand, preventing her from punching her again even though it doesn’t even hurt. “Yeah, I can tell.” She responded slyly and Chaewon threw her another glare. “Woah there, now, don’t be grumpy—you’re the main star!” She giggled, taking out a handkerchief from her jacket and wiped Chaewon’s sweat.

The younger kept mum, but obviously tensed as Yena gently damped the dry cloth on her forehead, cheek, and even neck. She ignored the curious and teasing gazes of the staff, her cheeks warming at the small sweet action the older woman did.

Chaewon just rolled her eyes, retracting away from Yena’s hold and fixed her hoodie, walking to the couch in the corner and grabbed her bag. “Here, carry this.” She said, tossing the bag to Yena which the latter caught swiftly then handed her two big tote bags.

Yena checked what’s in those and gasped when she realized it was all gifts. Her brows furrowed at that. “Gifts? From your fans?” She asked, shaking her head and tried her best not to throw them away.

The younger woman hummed, wearing her black sling bag and took another tote bag then grabbed the glamorous bouquet of flowers. Yena’s eyes squinted at that.

It took them some time to exit the backdoor, they needed some guards’ help because there was a crowd asking for Chaewon’s autograph but the latter just threw them a smile.

Thankfully, there was no afterparty when the play ended because they celebrated it yesterday instead, they also had some cake and short gathering after the play that was why Chaewon took longer than usual.

The both of them went to the Kang’s restaurant, where they will celebrate Chaewon’s successful musical once again. And on the way, Yena would do some sweet gestures like holding Chaewon’s hand instead of the gear lever and bringing it near her lips, pressing a small kiss on the back of the vocalist’s hand. She even went to the point that she gently bit the tip of Chaewon’s pointer finger to earn her attention and .

Oh, the priceless reaction the short haired brunette showed when she did that. She blushed madly as she harshly retreated her hand back, glaring at Yena for doing such a thing while the latter just laughed at her.

Yena is so proud of Chaewon, falling in love deeper and deeper because she saw how hardworking and passionate Chaewon is with her career. She also looked really charming too when she’s doing it.

That night though, she noticed something unusual. The short haired brunette was silent throughout, only giving out some verbal response if necessary. Yena thought she was just tired.

But actually, there was something more behind her gloomy aura.

//

Yena noticed it. Chaewon became even busier, and they somehow rarely met after that play last month. She also noticed that the younger woman became distant.

The bass player just shrugged it off, trying her best to meet with Chaewon as much as possible—sometimes, she would even visit her whenever she’s at practice to bring her some lunch.

And then, Yena suddenly decided to do something after thinking for a few weeks. She wanted to make a big move already. Because her feelings for Chaewon became stronger and stronger.

She wanted to ask Chaewon if she could court her like officially.

It has been five months since their small agreement of being ‘something’ without a label and Yena’s confident that something shifted between them, in a good way. Chaewon acts around Yena like there is a chance between them.

This is why Yena also agreed to have this kind of relationship with Chaewon, to get closer with her, to help her sort out her feelings for her and at the same time—fall in love very deeply to her so Yena really made her best effort on trying to swoon Chaewon.

The way Chaewon looks at her, smiles at her, kisses her—it screams chance.

So, Yena will take it and risk, try once again.

It took her days to properly come up with a plan—only to end up with buying some flowers for the younger woman and finally ask her like that. She actually wanted to ask her in front of the band members but Chaewon might not appreciate that so maybe after their practice for the gig.

She then will ask Chaewon in front of her apartment, for sure there won’t be people around that time anyway so perfect! Simple yet romantic.

And when the day came, Yena was very nervous. She didn’t fetch Chaewon from her home today because Eunbi already did it and she took that as a chance to buy some roses. She’ll hide it in the trunk and hope it won’t wither there.

She gave the florist a very bright grin as the latter handed her the fresh bouquet of roses, even the florist looked very happy for her customer. “Asking someone for a date?”

Yena laughed, shaking her head. “Going to ask her if I can court her officially,” She corrected and the florist gasped, clapping her hands then threw the woman a thumbs up.

“Hopefully, she will finally say ‘yes’! Good luck, miss!” The florist encouraged her and Yena smiled dashingly at her as a response before walking to her car, already placing the roses in the trunk of her car. It will only take an hour or two for them to practice anyway.

On the way to Minjoo’s house, Yena was happily nodding along to the beat of the music playing on the radio. She then parked it in the driveway and immediately hopped out from her car, skipping her way towards the house—excited to meet the love of her life.

“Hey, guys—I’m here!” Yena barged in, chirping—wearing a very bright grin.

“What do you mean Chaewon!?” Minjoo’s loud shout greeted Yena that made the latter flinch.

Minjoo never raises her voice. And that’s why when Yena heard it, she was surprised.

The bass player worriedly looked at the ‘commotion’ happening in the room. Chaeyeon gave her a panicked look from the corner which made her even confused.

Minjoo is standing in front of Chaewon, eyeing her with bloodshot angry eyes while the short haired brunette only has her head down low.

Yena was confused but she knew she had to step in and protect Chaewon from Minjoo’s unexpected rage.

“Chaewon! Are you insane?! Yuri is going to be upset!” Minjoo shouted once again, and Yena finally stepped in between Chaewon and Minjoo.

Yena gave her friend a sharp look. “Why are you shouting at her?” She hissed, annoyance rising on top of her head. She doesn’t like how the drummer raises her voice towards Chaewon. “Speak normally at her!”

Minjoo also gave her a glare. “How can I, Yena-unnie!? When she said something ridiculous!” She said, shaking her head in disappointment and anger before averting her gaze.

Eunbi was panicking, while Hyewon and Chaeyeon worriedly watched them there. Yena’s brows formed into a furrow. “Just what is happening here?”

The drummer scoffed, gritting her teeth. “Why don’t you ask Chaewon herself?” She responded bitterly before walking out, closing the door shut with a loud bang.

Yena gave Eunbi a look but the manager just bit her lower lip, nodding her head to the silent Chaewon.

Pursing her lips together into a thin line, the bassist slowly turned to face Chaewon. The latter still got her head hung down low so she couldn’t see her face at all. With a sigh, she asked, “What happened, Chaewon? What did you do to make Minjoo angry like that?”’

The vocalist became tense, but she didn’t answer immediately which made Yena sigh, holding her shoulders. “Come on, what did you say?” She softly repeated and finally, Chaewon tilted her chin up to meet Yena’s gaze.

Her eyes are sparkling with tears, regret and guilt written all over it that broke Yena’s heart.

“I will leave the band, I will leave the country, Yena.”

Yena’s world seemed to stop.

Her ears rang at what Chaewon had said, brows twitching in confusion as she took another step forward—letting out a shaky breath. “W-What?” She asked breathlessly, eyeing Chaewon with a desperate gaze. “Are you... serious? What…?”

Chaewon looked away, tears started to fall down from her eyes. “I’m going to step down as Zone City’s vocalist because I will fly out of the country to chase my dreams, Yena.” She answered, more firm and clear this time, but her voice was shaking a bit.

Yena let out a chuckle of disbelief, trying to find Chaewon’s gaze. “W-What is this, Chaewon? What d-do you mean? E-Enlighten me, p-please?” She’s shaking, Yena’s whole being is shaking. She couldn’t even properly breathe—this must be just a joke, right?

The woman bit her lower lip, her gaze lowering down to the floor as she explained. “I-I got an offer from a big-shot theater director from France, Yena. Last year, they already sent me a mail that they will send their team to Korea one day and watch one of my performances, and if they are impressed—they will take me.” She started off, trying her best not to stammer.

Yena felt like kneeling as she listened, why… Why didn’t Chaewon tell her about this? Why now?

“They went to watch me last month, and they were impressed and determined to take me to Canada—they said they will let me study the art of theater musicals there further for free because I have a lot of potential in me and adopt me to their musical team in France.” Chaewon continued to explain and each word, Yena’s breath will hitch.

The bassist let out a silent scoff, so those professionals that watched Chaewon—they have a big offer for her. And she didn’t know…

What Yena just knows is they will take Chaewon away from the band, away from her.

“I-I accepted the offer,” The vocalist muttered, closing her eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s my dream, it’s one of my biggest dreams to get casted by foreign professionals and I immediately took the offer when it was presented to me.”

Yena shook her head, believing that it’s still all a lie even if it’s reality—she refused to accept that this is happening. “Y-You, why?” She weakly said, her grip on Chaewon’s shoulders loosening. She couldn’t even say something.

“I-I’m really sorry everyone, that I surprised you with my sudden decision. I’m really sorry but I will chase my dreams. I know you guys might hate me for this… I’m sorry but I want to do this.” Chaewon said, taking a deep breath before turning to them, giving them an apologetic look, each one of them.

“This band is already part of my life, I never intend to betray you guys. But I’m choosing my dream, my decision is final.” The short haired brunette firmly announced, finality lacing around her voice.

Yena’s world fell apart after hearing that.

There was a silence after that. No one dared to speak for a few moments and Yena nearly broke down in front of Chaewon, but she couldn’t get herself to kneel and beg for her not to go.

After all, Yena is not that selfish. They’re talking about Chaewon’s dream. The bassist knows about Chaewon’s dream of getting casted by a popular director from another country because it’s a huge deal so she couldn’t ask her not to leave the band, not to leave her.

After a few moments of silence, Eunbi is the first one who spoke. “When is your flight to Canada?” She asked quietly, finally accepting Chaewon’s decision, sighing inwardly.

Chaewon turned to Eunbi with a weak gaze. “N-Next week,” She answered and all of them are shocked, especially Yena.

The older woman gave Chaewon a look of betrayal, her chest hurting—she shakily took a few steps backwards, laughing bitterly to herself while tears finally started to fall from her eyes. “How come you never told me this? What am I to you? Air?” She asked coldly.

Chaewon gulped, trying to reach for her but Yena swatted her hands away from her, glaring at her. “Y-Yena,” The younger woman pleadingly called for her and the bassist almost fell into that.

“You’re really something else.” Yena mumbled out before turning away, dashing out of that room and immediately went to her car—zooming away from that house, away from Chaewon.

She didn’t even care anymore if she ever got arrested for driving so fast along the highway, dodging and passing through other cars like they were nothing and even dared to beat the red light.

Chaewon shattered her whole again. This time, she doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces anymore.

//

For days, Yena didn’t go out of her house, locking herself there—she shut herself from everyone, even Chaewon couldn’t reach her.

She doesn’t even want to face Chaewon. After that betrayal, she thinks she doesn’t have the guts to face the younger woman anymore.

If the vocalist already told her ever since the beginning then she won’t act like this, she will act maturely and she might’ve prepared already for the outcome so this news really shocked her to the core.

She’s so broken and betrayed.

She couldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t function, she couldn’t think properly for days—she cancelled all of her commissions and plans for that week, finding everything so meaningless.

Once again, Kim Chaewon managed to break her heart.

Puffing out a smoke in the cold night air, Yena stared at the half lit stick of cigarette between her middle and index fingers. Her mind is running, of course, thinking about Chaewon, Chaewon, and Chaewon.

She shook her head, placing the stick between her lips before taking out her phone, checking the notifications and saw that it’s bombarded. She almost threw her phone away when she saw the twenty missed calls from Chaewon, and eleven unopened messages two days ago.

Heck no, she will never accept the call nor read those messages. She also never accepted the band members’ calls or anything.

Well, fortunately for her, it all stopped two days ago—they’ve probably taken the hint and gave her space.

For sure, Chaewon and the others already talked—even her and Minjoo. And probably, right now, the vocalist is preparing her things that she will take to Canada.

In two days, Chaewon will finally leave Korea. Leave everything behind, leave the band, including Yena.

Yena actually is having a fight with herself if she should go and meet Chaewon for the last time or just stubbornly stay still.

The latter choice sounds very nice. She might just have a breakdown and beg the vocalist like a stupid desperate , beg for her not to go and don’t leave her alone.

Maybe it’s for the better.

//

Yena cursed at herself, rushing to enter her car and hastily the engine before dashing out of her driveway.

It’s the day where Chaewon will finally fly to Canada and the latter is most probably on her way towards the airport right now. Eunbi and the others offered to take her there and of course, the vocalist didn’t refuse.

Originally, she won’t really actually meet Chaewon for the last time. She’ll just lock herself at home and probably chain herself so she won’t be tempted to rush to the airport but then, she saw Chaeyeon’s text message.

“Chaewon wants to see you before she boards the plane. Come on, Choi, don’t be an . She’s so guilty and desperate to see you but you’re shutting yourself out. Her flight is around ten in the morning, we’ll take her to the airport around nine.”

It was a text from last night but Yena just saw it around 8:30 so she had a last minute decision.

Meet Chaewon.

Even if it hurts, she’ll take the risk. She needs proper closure after all.

Even if it hurts to see her bidding goodbye, she’ll take it and properly send her off herself.

Even if it hurts to let her go, Yena is not selfish.

//

“Thank you really for taking me here even if it’s kind of awkward,” Chaewon started off when they reached the airport, they’re currently outside the building—having one last farewell.

Minjoo just looked away.

Eunbi smiled at Chaewon, shaking her head. “No, we completely understand. Your reason is valid to retire as Zone City’s vocalist. It’s a big loss to us, but we respect your decision. It won’t change the fact you became our vocalist, and you helped us in many ways.” She said, pulling the short haired brunette into a hug. “Chase your dreams there. Good luck, Chaewon.”

The other two gave their hugs and goodbye too but instead of giving out an emotional farewell, they just joked around and Chaewon had a good laugh despite the tears in her eyes. Minjoo only silently gave her a hug though, Chaewon understands that the woman is upset with her, still.

She gave them a fond look, each of them. She will miss them a lot greatly, miss their bond and their hang-out, their teasings and loud voices. But she couldn’t help but to smile sadly at them because one of them is missing.

It seemed like she really hurt Yena that badly, she didn’t come to see her and send her off. She has some stuff to say and explain but looks like that duck doesn’t want to see her anymore.

Understandable. It’s her fault for keeping this a secret to her, for hurting her.

Chaeyeon noticed the look, immediately saying, “Give it five minutes, she’ll be here. I know that.” She pleaded and Chaewon chuckled, shaking her head.

“It’s obvious enough that she loathes me after what I’ve done.” Chaewon weakly croaked out, her grip on her luggage tightening. “I’ve done a lot of horrible things to her, even way more than you guys are thinking of. Yet still, she stayed.” She muttered, immediately wiping the tear that escaped her eye then let out a breathless laugh.

The others could only look at her in pity.

A sigh escaped Chaewon’s lips. “I’ll go now. She won’t come…” She muttered, and forced out a crooked smile at the four women in front of her and dragged her luggage closer to her. “See you guys soon.” She said, bowing deeply at them.

She was about to turn around and enter the wide and tall building when suddenly, a familiar voice entered her ears, making her halt and freeze into her spot instantly.

“Wait up.”

Chaewon’s body started to tremble, biting her lower lip so hard that it almost bled. That voice she missed the most, the voice she badly wanted to hear before she finally goes.

Trying to calm herself down, Chaewon took a few moments to turn around and face Yena.

The bass player is just behind her, panting softly like she ran all the way here—her hair disheveled and she looks like a mess but to Chaewon—Choi Yena still looks so cool and beautiful, very attractive still.

“You can’t go unless you explain yourself to me.” Yena coldly said, walking closer to her and only stopped when she’s one step away from her.

Chaewon almost cried out of happiness. “You’re extreme.” She muttered, shaking her head out of joy, biting down a smile. “I really thought you won’t show yourself, you know?”

Yena let out a small smile. “I might just regret it if I won’t see you for the last time,” She explained with a sigh, tilting her head to meet Chaewon’s gaze and her heart fluttered when she saw the same tiger-like eyes with sparkly honey orbs.

She then raised her arm, pointing at her watch. “Time is ticking, you’re going to board in a bit so if I were you, stop beating around the bush and tell me what you need to say,” She playfully said, yet half-serious.

Her silliness made Chaewon bust out a lung, oh she will miss Yena’s playfulness indeed. “Silly,” She lovingly said, and gave her a soft smile.

The bassist just stared at her, waiting for her to start sharing her explanation but deep inside, her knees wanted to drop already and probably wail like a baby in this very public place right now but she doesn’t want to embarrass and pressure Chaewon.

Yes, she already accepted everything. It’s very painful on her part, she’s sure Chaewon had a hard time too. It’s just the wrong thing the younger woman did, was to hide it from her and suddenly broke the news just like that. She wanted an explanation for that one.

As long as this will make Chaewon happy, then she’ll try to be happy for her.

Chaewon’s happiness is her top priority, not hers.

After a few seconds, Chaewon started to speak after taking a deep breath. “Well, this is why I couldn’t bring myself to say it to the band, especially to you…” She said, her eyes lowering in shame. “I was so terrified, I was so scared, Yena. I was afraid that the moment I told you, you will be able to convince me not to go for it and stay with you.” She added as she bit her lower lip.

“I’ve already set my goal, I will accept it no matter what, that was the moment I was waiting for but I was so afraid that you won’t allow me to go, so I never told you and just blurted the news out the moment everything’s already set—that nothing can stop me anymore.” Chaewon continued, looking up to meet with Yena’s gaze.

After hearing that, Yena’s heart stopped beating for a moment. She thickly swallowed her own saliva, pocketing her trembling hands. So, that’s why… But her? Why would she think that Yena will manage to convince her not to go? And just stay here?

“And this is also the reason why I don’t want to have a relationship with you Yena… because I know I will leave. I decided to play safe so I said I can’t commit, so I wouldn’t hurt you further. But still, my heart wants you, so in the end—I still accepted our ‘label-less’ relationship. Thinking that having no official title at all won’t hurt, but , it hurt the same.” The vocalist then revealed, chuckling bitterly to herself.

Guilt is also eating her up inside. She’s hurting too, like so much—not just Yena. It took hell to decide for herself, took hell to accept that she needs to leave Yena for this, to choose her dreams over Yena.

This time, she let her tears fall. She caught her tears with the sleeve of her coat, not wanting for the older woman to see how vulnerable she is.

“I regret it all, I’m sorry I-I at making decisions. But I have no choice, this is the path I chose so I’ll take all the consequences of it all. I-I’m sorry I hurt you so much, Yena.” Chaewon sobbed against her sleeve, sniffling.

The bass player was in awe for a while but when she heard Chaewon’s soft sobs, she swiftly pulled the woman into a warm and tight embrace.

Chaewon melted into the hug, immediately wrapping her arms around her and hugged her tightly as much as she could while Yena tried to calm and hush her down.

Crying Chaewon is an adorable sight but Yena’s heart shatters into pieces whenever she sees tears falling down from the younger woman’s eyes. It’s one of the sights she doesn’t want to see because it means her Chaewon is hurt or sad.

“No need to apologize, baby,” Yena whispered against her ear, pressing a soft kiss on the side of her face and tucked her chin on the vocalist’s shoulders. “It’s alright, stop crying.” She cooed.

The bassist hugged Chaewon so dearly and tight. It felt very warm and for a moment, everything didn’t matter to Yena anymore.

She will miss her hugs, her kisses, her scent, her smiles, her voice—everything about Chaewon, she will miss it to death that it felt like she wouldn’t be able to survive without the short haired brunette being close to her.

But she needs to be strong. For Chaewon, she’ll walk forward even if her heart is broken into millions of pieces.

“Chaewon, baby, tell me you love me… right now, right in front of my face.” Yena pleaded suddenly, her hug tightening as she desperately asked for that favor.

The vocalist just chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re making it harder for us, Yena-yah,” She gently responded and broke the hug, cupping Yena’s red fluffy cheeks and wiped the tears away.

She can’t, she can’t say those words. Not because she doesn’t mean it, it’s because she knows it’ll hurt Yena even more.

The older woman hiccuped, her lips protruding which Chaewon found adorable. “I-I can wait for you, Chaewon. I don’t care how long it is, I’ll just wait for you.” She said, lips quivering as she promised that.

Chuckling, Chaewon just shook her head sadly. “No, Yena. You already waited for me, you already did it for so long. It’s time to stop. I’ve hurt you enough.” She softly said, still caressing Yena’s cheeks.

Biting her lower lip, Yena just closed her eyes shut and leaned into the touch, holding her hand back, not wanting for her to let go of her face. She never said anything after that, just sniffling like a child as she snuggled on Chaewon’s hand.

The vocalist’s heart melted at the sight, wanting to coo at her lover. She was about to say something when suddenly, an announcement has been made and it’s about her flight—opening up the gates already.

With that, Yena’s eyes fluttered open—puffy and red as she desperately eyed Chaewon. The short haired brunette smiled sadly at her. “I’m really sorry once again, Yena. One day, you’ll find the right person.” She started off.

That made the older woman angry, shaking her head furiously. “I don’t care if you hurt me, I don’t mind if you will give me thousands of heartbreaks all over again. In the end, I’ll still choose you no matter what. You are the right person for me, no one can change that, Kim Chaewon—not even you.” She firmly said, eyes flaming.

Chaewon bit her lower lip at that, holding back her tears. Whenever Yena says stuff like that, her heart won’t stay still, she couldn’t help but to die a little. It’s just so sweet and sincere. Oh, Kim Chaewon—she will regret that she didn’t officially accept this great woman, until her last breath.

“I don’t care if you don’t think the same but you own me, Kim Chaewon. I’m chained to you. I have nowhere to go. Even if you gave up on us—my heart and soul, you still hold it.” Yena added, biting her lower lip then huffed, her hold on the younger’s hand tightened.

Chaewon shook her head, she couldn’t believe it. Does Yena love her that much for her to say genuine things like that? Even though Chaewon herself broke her in many ways she could possibly do?

She doesn’t deserve Choi Yena at all.

“I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve your love.” Chaewon whispered, leaning closer and pressed a kiss on Yena’s forehead. “You deserve someone better.” She shakily said, planting another kiss on the older woman’s nose. It hurt when she said that, afterall, truth always hurts, eh?

“I don’t want someone better, I just want you...” Yena responded back, and this time, she’s the one who went in for a kiss. Her lips landed on Chaewon’s tear-stained cheek.

“Go, even if it hurts, go… you’re going to be late if you stay longer,” The older woman said, sniffling as she wiped her tears with her sleeves, looking away—her eyes are unfocused.

Chaewon nodded slowly, giving the four silent women behind them a look. She almost forgot that they’re not alone, they’re really in front of the airport building for god’s sake—thankfully, no one batted an eye, the airport is full of emotional farewells after all.

She noticed that Yena is having a hard time breathing because she’s holding her sobs to the point she’s starting to choke.

She took out something from her coat, staring at it for a second before reaching for Yena’s hand, passing the thing to her, catching the older woman off-guard.

Giving out a small sincere smile, Chaewon leaned in closer again and gently pressed her lips on Yena’s trembling pair one. Oh, how she will miss this.

That kiss was just short and bittersweet. Chaewon is scared that the moment Yena ever moves her lips and kisses her with all her might, she might just stay with her.

When she pulled away, she grinned at her while Yena just softly gazed at her. “I have one last gift for you, take that.” She said, pouting her lips to the gift she just handed.

Yena curiously looked at it, a familiar logo brand of famous chocolate treat greeted her, and the signature shape of it akin to an egg made her snort. “Chocolate, really?” She asked, giggling to herself but she held it dearly, like it’s her new treasure.

“There’s more into it,” Chaewon revealed with a wink finally grabbing her luggage back. “See it for yourself.” She playfully added with a sly grin.

Pouting, Yena glanced at it before placing it inside her coat’s pocket.

The lovers stared at each other for a few seconds before Chaewon finally broke out into a sad smile, taking a step backward and glanced at her friends behind the older woman and gave them a smile and final look.

“See you when I see you, Yena.” Chaewon bid her final goodbye, flashing another crooked smile and turned around, her breath hitched when Yena’s out of her sight.

She took heavy steps inside the airport, not looking back ever again. She won’t risk it, she might just run back to Yena’s arms.

“Be happy.” She whispered to no one and finally entered the building fully, weakly dragging her luggage with her.

//

Yena eyed the withered roses that she’s currently holding.

She forgot the flowers she was about to give to Chaewon last week, the poor roses died and withered in her trunk just like that. The bassist only remembered about it when she finally went home after that sad and heartbreaking send off.

The love of her life fully slipped away from her hands just like that.

With a sigh, she stared at the flowers, smiling at it. “We’re the same…” She talked to the dead flowers. “...withered, lifeless….” She whispered before walking inside her home, not forgetting to dump the roses into the trash can.

It was already night. She stayed at the Han River for hours after the announcement of the departure of Chaewon’s flight. The others offered to accompany her but she said that it’ll be the best for her to spend her time alone.

She stayed there at her rooftop, embracing the wind, letting her mind run as usual when suddenly, her stomach grumbled, begging for food.

She forgot that she didn’t eat a proper meal today, the only thing she consumed was the creambread she bought from the bakery earlier.

Puffing out a cloud of smoke and then silently watched it disappear into thin air, Yena decided that it’ll be her last stick of cigar for tonight. She eyed the cigarette settled between her pointer and middle fingers, it’s tip smoldering and faint of smoke coming from it, barely half already.

Flinging the half lit stick of tobacco onto the ground of her rooftop, she extinguished the fire by stepping on it. It’s remains and ashes stained the small spot of the place, painting the ground with a spot of black but she didn’t mind it.

Her hand unconsciously went for the pocket of her coat, getting the kinder joy egg out then examined it quietly before bursting into a pit of giggle. She shook her head as she tried to open it, “Ah, Kim Chaewon…” She whispered.

When she successfully opened it, something fell from it. She was surprised, blinking in confusion before picking it up. She silently stared at the silver metal resting on top of her palm, small chains laying on her hand like a lazy snake. It took her a few moments to realize that it’s an anklet.

Yena let out a laugh in disbelief. So that was what Chaewon was talking about, huh? There’s really more into it. She couldn’t help but to slightly snicker as she admired the silver anklet with an infinity sign.

She crouched down and wore it, wrapping it around her left ankle and she smiled when the size was just perfect. It looks so good on her.

On their first date, Yena mentioned that she wanted to buy some couple anklets for them because necklaces and bracelets are overrated but the older woman didn’t manage to do that because she was scared that it might be too much for Chaewon but look now…

Shaking her head, once again examined the kinder joy egg and much to her surprise, there’s a small pink paper stuck to the other half side of the shell. She immediately took it out and then opened it to read what’s inside.

I’m wearing the other pair of that anklet. You’re chained to me, and I’m chained to you, Choi Yena.

김채원

Yena officially lost it, laughing like a madwoman on her rooftop. Once again, Kim Chaewon made her lose her sanity.

“Is this her way of saying ‘I love you too’, to me?” The bassist snickered to herself, finally opening the chocolate, scooping it with the small provided plastic spoon and placed it into —the familiar taste of sweet milk chocolate invaded her tasting buds, mingling with the faint mint lingering around after consuming the cigarette from earlier.

It somehow reminded her of Chaewon.

“You never fail to amuse me, Kim Chaewon.”

//

A/N: and that’s all. phew... took me weeks to finish this up. but anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. im actually planning to write a sequel but idk no promises… but to be safe, this is purely an open-ending. i’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

thank you so much for going through a whole long ride with me. lol.