...Past…

“Beautiful” I whispered into her ears.

It was the perfect night for couples to go out of town. It was spring, the season for lovers. We lock our hands as we cruised down the streets of Han River. I was wearing my baggy pants along with my t-shirt that had “RAISE YOUR VOICE LOUDER, LOUDER” printed on it. Lee-Ann, my girlfriend, was beautifully covered with a white halter-neck dress along with her white heels with a mini ribbon on top of it. Her face is simply covered with blush, her eyes with eye liner and her lips with red lipstick – she really was beautiful.

We continued to walk along the river without saying a word, and then I halted her to a stop right under the light post. I gave her peck on top of her head, tears gushed down both our faces. She was breaking into pieces while I was trying to hold her together. We both knew that good things have to come to an end. “I love you” I whispered into her ears, as I hold onto her head and pressing my lips onto it. “Jiyong, please…” She begged.

“Lee-Ann, sometimes in a love story the main characters don’t always have to end up together in the end” I said harshly. She dropped to her knees begging for me to stay while holding onto my hands tightly. The night she imagined that would turn out so good, ended up in tears and heartbreak. I broke her hold off me and whispered “I love you” one last time before walking away, leaving Lee-Ann broken and messed up.

“Someday you’ll learn the art of letting go” I said as I disappeared into the night.

.

“You did good son” I heard my dad praised as soon as I stepped inside the house. He and mum were leaning onto the kitchen counter celebrating with champagne. It disgusts me.

“No dad, I didn’t do well. Worst thing a person could do.” I told him and walked away.

How could your parents ask you to give up the one person that pulls you through every bullcrap you do? The one person who understands every single silence you have. The person who held me through all the bad choices I have ever made. How could they ask me to give up the one I love to save their messed up life?

I had to break away from Lee-Ann to marry Jang Malina, the daughter of the owner of the company my parents work at. Malina and I grew up together, we’ve known each other for as long as we both can remember but we have never seen each other beyond friends. But we both didn’t know that once I turn 21 and she turns 20, her and I will be arrange to be married.

Of course she and I didn’t agree to any of it.

I told Malina’s parents that I can’t marry her but they threatened me that if I don’t, my parents will lose their position at the company. This is not another melodrama you watch on television, this is real – it’s happening to me. I refused for months, I couldn’t tell Lee-Ann because I know I have no way out.

I just had to end it.

…end of past…

Stood there in front of the altar was the woman whom I thought I’d marry. She looked beautiful in the wedding gown she has always imagine she would wear on our wedding day, but obviously she’s wearing it for another man.

She titled her head my way right after she placed the ring into Jae-Young’s finger, she mouthed something – “My past” if I am not mistaken. I smiled at her then listened as Jae-Young recites his vow or speech whatever you prefer before putting the ring around Lee-Ann’s finger.

“I know I came unexpected into your life. You were struggling through life, love and a lot of other things. But watching you every day for six months, took my love to another level; looking at you made me want to spend my entire life with you… and I thank God that I am. I know you have been scarred for life but I promise to never be the man you don’t ever want me to be. I love you Kim Lee-Ann and now you are Mrs. Choi Lee-Ann” he recited.

I saw the happiness and the satisfaction flashed across Lee-Ann’s face. She’s really happy now, and I am happy for her too. I will always love her; she will always hold a piece of my life. She changed me every day I was with her. Every day I used to see a glimpse of her face, all my troubles gone.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife” The priest announced. Everyone cheered around me, including Malina, my fiancé. We learned to love each other more than friends for the sake of our families, I know that sounds really bad but that’s how we worked.

Lee-Ann and her husband slowly walked down the altar.

Passing by each row, the crowd cheered. As they passed my row, the smile of their faces flashed right at me, and I knew then this was her happy ending. We were right behind them as soon as they moved onto the next row.

.

Lee-Ann was greeting some people goodbye now.

I really couldn’t make it to her reception because Malina and I have to plan for our own wedding. She said goodbye to Malina first then me. She stared at me for more than a minute then I wrapped my arms around her.

“Thank you for coming into my life and for loving me with all your heart once upon a time” she whispered as she slowly pulls away. She turned her back around not waiting for a reply. Malina then took my hand and squeezed it; we were ready to walk away when Lee-Ann turned around again. She chuckled a little then said “I did learn the art of letting go, I hope you did too”. I laughed at myself while Malina stared at me confused. “Yeah” I whispered and walked away from the church.


You see the beautiful thing about being hurt is the fact that you can always try again and hope for a better tomorrow. Just because you found yourself letting go of the past it does not mean you’re weak, it just means you are strong enough to start again. Lee-Ann, have thought me the art of letting go, and that art is being to let go without holding a grudge against those who have scarred you for life.

And this is the art of letting go.

. . . 

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