2

to be seen is to exist

As soon as they stepped inside the bus, they were met with a rare sight: no occupants at 12PM-ish. The seats are empty, which means they can choose to sit anywhere they like. Right after swiping the card, Hyejin tugs the woman by the elbow mindlessly, creating a little whimper. Hyejin turned in a sharp movement and was caught off guard for a second.

“Just a little surprised.” 

“Oh. Sorry.” Hyejin let go. The woman smiled again for the nth time. “It’s fine. You can just,” She reach to Hyejin’s arm and put it on her shoulder. “Tap it lightly there. I can be forgetful sometimes.” 

Instead of answering, Hyejin didn’t pull her arm back. They stand still in that position until a grunt can be heard from the driver’s seat. 

“Aren’t you all gonna sit or something?” 

-- 

The street lights are reflecting from the window, creating a mass of passing colors in Hyejin’s eyes. She sneaks a peek at the woman who is sitting on the other side of the bus, currently adopting a straight posture with both her palms on thighs. Hyejin is the one who’s persistent with signing in different seats to regain a sense of privacy, but for some reason she finds herself looking at the woman from time to time.

Now what has she done? Blame this impulse that ran through her before. Why should she care whether she tends to her face when she gets home? Even when the bruises looked a little too much. She has already made peace with the fact that she has to find the nearest park and cover herself with newspaper scrap. Why did she come with her so willingly in the first place, anyway?

This night must have made her go insane, one way or the another.

Hyejin kept staring at the woman with her head leaning on the window before sprang on her feet, rushing to the other side and catch the woman’s head before she fell over to the side. Sleep has overtaken her in the blink of an eye. Replacing one hand beneath with another, Hyejin proceeded with caution before taking a seat next to the sleeping woman and putting her head on her shoulder. 

Hyejin muffled a gasp as the woman nuzzled against her clavicles. A light snoring can be heard as the woman is in deep sleep. The woman still had the audacity to fall asleep. What if she misses her stop? 

Unbelievable. 

As the bus started to fill up with passengers, Hyejin kept her attention at the passing lights, taking in the impermanence of it. It took a while for Hyejin to notice the murmur transpired around them.  A couple threw an accusing stare at her while whispering to each other and looked away immediately as they made eye contact. What? Hyejin turns to the side, finding the woman’s hat almost falling off, about to reveal the slight bluish pattern of her face. She fixed it in a hurry to avoid misunderstanding.  

As the woman buried her nose and rubbed it against her skin, Hyejin feels like she can't deal with another goosebump up to her neck, plus this urge to just slap her awake for being too comfortable, but another glance to the peaceful face and she heaved out a sigh. 

Now that she’s asleep, how is she supposed to know where the woman lives? 

Berating her own foolishness, she touch the woman’s upper arm, giving it a little squeeze and shake. If she didn’t wake up soon they will miss the stop. That’s when the automated voice pronounced the stop ringing and the woman opened her eyes in a split second. She crunched her nose in a way similar to a kid waking up from a long sleep.  

“Ah.” 

They make eye contact.

“We’ve arrived.” 

-- 

Hyejin should have known this is a bad idea.

“I will not be going inside.” 

The woman whom she still doesn’t know the name of (Hyejin cannot believe herself for going this far) tilted her head to the side.

“No?” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“No.”  

“Yes?” 

“No!” Hyejin hissed, but not snappy enough to let go of the other woman’s hand. Now she is positive the woman is just messing with her. “You can be a serial killer for all I care.” The woman faked a gasp.

“Wow. Now you hurt the feelings of this poor, blind lady.” Hyejin scoffed. This woman is sure not just a lady, but she chooses not to voice her opinion further. She kept  shut but it soon changed when the other woman took off her hat. 

“I cannot see well, but judging from your reaction earlier, this needs immediate care.” 

Some of the bruises near her temple swelled more than the last time Hyejin saw it, and the tanned girl cannot turn a blind eye. If it was left longer the woman would not be able to feel one side of her face in the morning. “And this porch is too cold, I’m going to freeze if you were to do it here.” The woman gives the push where it is needed and Hyejin can feel her resolve crumbling.  

“I cannot feel my hands right now, please?” 

 

-- 

Hyejin cannot remember the last time she’s being this submissive. 

It was one of those rare moments when she went down without a fight. With her hand holding onto the other woman’s hand, they walk into the flat and get inside the lift. After fumbling around the buttons, she pressed 2 and a whirring sound could be heard as they were taken upstairs. 

Hyejin steals another look at the woman and kept it the whole time.  

When the lift opened, the sight of the whole room caught Hyejin off guard. Is this what they mean when someone is owning the whole floor?

“After you.” 

The entire room is moderate in size but it’s too dark to see what’s going on. “The light's over there,” The woman put her hands to the side, signaling where the switch is. Hyejin hurriedly moved aside and switched the lights on. “Thanks.” 

There’s not much words needed. Soon they got into position, as the woman sat and Hyejin spread the medical kits she had bought earlier. Hyejin gets on one knee while the woman takes off her hat, her face on full display that makes Hyejin's stomach queasy. The swell is getting bigger, along with the blue pattern that become more angry-looking than the last she saw it at the bus stop. “How is it?” The woman asked, curious by how Hyejin reacts. 

“Hold still.” 

The woman becomes completely still like an obedient puppy. 

“I need some ice.” 

The woman pointed her thumb at the kitchen. Hyejin gets into the small fridge, cracking out the ice cube tray and pouring its contents into a napkin, tying it up in a bow. She gave the woman a heads-up before putting the napkin on her palm. “Press the side of your cheek with this. It will relieve the swell.” 

The woman kept her hold as she put tentative presses on the cheek, revelling in the coolness of the ice cubes wrapped inside the napkin. Hyejin wiped her face with an alcohol swab, cleaning up traces of blood before applying some oinment. She traced her fingers near the wounds. Between cringes and slight jerking to the side once in a while a sorry was muttered. 

At the speed of light, the woman was wrapped near the temple in a fresh bandage. Not dramatic enough to look like she just escaped a near-death experience, but it is enough to cover the side of the temple. Hyejin dipped the cotton bud in alcohol and proceeded to tap onto the woman’s bruised lips. 

“Who did this to you?” 

“It’s a long story.” The woman twitched her lips, like she couldn’t believe it either.  

Hyejin hummed. They have all the time. 

“To be honest it already happened since a week ago.” The woman started. “When I was about to cross the street, someone was yelling at my face, "Are you blind? You can’t be blind! You’re lying!’ It happened one time and that’s it.” She paused, trying to remember the details. “Nothing happened for a week after but tonight, there’s that scream again.” Hyejin observed the woman from the corner of her eye. “I thought it’s just a prank before I was tackled to the ground and…” She finished her story, looking a little pissed. She’s not the only one. 

“Don't move.” 

She keep the position, bear with the sting. 

“I cannot find my bag either. I guess it’s the youngsters who like to pull that kind of prank. I've heard they've done it numerous times before. They must have hidden my bag somewhere.” 

Hyejin unscrews the disinfectant bottle, letting the liquid pour onto new cotton, dressing the wound. “You have to report it to the authorities. It’s a harassment.” The woman shook her head vehemently.  

“Nah. I’m sure I can find it later.” 

There is so much that can be commented on in that sentence but Hyejin didn’t say anything. After making sure the wound was taken care of, she put away the utensils and put her palm on the other woman’s knee. “It’s done.” She proceeds to clean the desk and sweeps the remains into the plastic, ready to trash it away. 

The woman shot a smile “Thanks!” 

Hyejin didn’t know what else to say but you’re welcome.  

“Now, I have to—” 

To her utter dismay, the woman shook her head, with a hold-it-right-there kind of look.

“I will make some tea.” 

-- 

Hyejin has been swept in this woman’s pace, isn’t she? She can only watch her from the back, slightly irritated and fascinated at the same time. A woman who cannot see well is making tea for her right now, and she is being a jerk for sitting there like a . Even when she’s the one who told her to wait. A whistle from the kettle can be heard as the woman puts the tea set on the tray and brings it to the table with both hands. Hyejin held herself the entire time from offering any help. She has no idea what is considered offensive or not to do in this kind of situation. 

The way the woman takes the teapot and pours the tea into both cups, Hyejin has no other words to describe the refined gesture. The woman pushes the cup to Hyejin. When she stayed still, the other woman did the same as well. Silence engulfed before Hyejin realized something.

She took the cup and sipped it.

 

The mint aroma bombarded her senses. Another woman let out a small smile that was soon replaced with a scowl as she took a sip into her tea. “I don’t like mint very much but It’s the only one available at the moment…” Next Hyejin witnessed how the woman rambling on how she’s not a big fan of mint.

It’s all strangely… domestic. 

“My name is Moon Byulyi.” 

Without realizing it Hyejin muttered that name, which rolled off her tongue quite nicely. She did the same vice versa. “I’m…” Should she give a fake name? “Hyejin. Ahn Hyejin.” 

“Hyejin-sshi…” The woman nodding her head seemed to be quite pleased with herself. “I heard what you said at the bus stop earlier. Everything.” 

At that Hyejin can feel goosebumps at the back of her neck. Her first instinct is j