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And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

-Iris, Chris Lanzo

“Ouch, Lucas. Ouch,” I mumbled under my breath when I felt his hands grab my s a little bit too hard. I winced, Lucas’ face against my neck when he murmured something under his breath. “Oi, Wong—”

“Shut up.” He moved, Lucas nuzzling my body from behind, his legs thrown over me like I was a long pillow before he grumbled. “Stop moving.”

I slapped his hand that was stuck under my shirt, trying to wriggle away from his iron grip but to no avail. He grunted and I kicked him with one leg, Lucas hooking his leg with mine before scooting closer. His big hands were going to leave bruises and I slapped his hand one more time when the alarm clock rang out.

7 a.m.

Lucas let out an annoyed groan when he removed his hands from underneath my shirt to feel the space beside my body. I frowned, turning to see that his eyes were still closed. Lucas breathed heavily, his bottom lip pouting when he opened his eyes and stared right at me.

“I will break your phone,” he said, deadpan when he finally got my phone. He brought the ringing device up and I heard him unlock it, my eyebrows knitting. He then casually threw the phone over to his side and I blinked. “Yes, I know your password. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 isn’t very hard to make out when you’re unlocking your phone every morning.”

“I have to go back—”

“Where?” he snapped almost irritably, the male grabbing me to pull me against him before kicking the blanket off and resuming his previous position—leg propped around mine and hand shoved underneath my shirt. “Sleep.”

“Wow, now that I know you have this fixation with long pillows, I’m going to buy one for your birthday.”

“I really don’t want to have a conversation on what I want for my birthday at 7 am in the morning,” he replied, sniffling and going back to closing his eyes. Lucas wasn’t a morning person. Despite having to go to work every morning on a weekday, I would always see him awake at night on the weekends and he would tell me that his body was always accustomed to late nights.

“When is your birthday?” I asked, Lucas opening his eyes and blinking slowly.

“You really want to have this conversation?”

“I really don’t want to stay in bed with you,” I admitted and Lucas’ face scrunched up as if he had eaten something sour. “It’s 7 am!”

“It’s not morning if the sun isn’t out yet,” he pointed out and I glanced at the windows, narrowing my eyes at him. “Fine. I know it’s the curtains. Maybe I do need a long pillow for my birthday.”

He finally let go of me and I felt him push my body away with his foot and I shrieked, falling onto the floor. He stretched, laughing when he saw me sprawled on the floor and stuck out his tongue. I massaged my shoulders, grabbing the side of the bed and pushing myself up so I could head back to my room when he reached out to slap my .

“Lucas!”

“What?” he asked and I glared at him, grabbing the blanket that was bunched up on the edge of the bed to smother him. He rolled away just in time but I managed to throw it over his face, climbing onto the mattress to sit on his upper torso, pressing the blanket down roughly just to hear him trying to say something.

I stilled when I felt something poke my thigh, Lucas gripping my waist with one hand, the other removing the blanket so he could breathe. I stared at him and he stared back before he broke into a huge smile, one eye closing rapidly as he winked at me.

“Really?”

“Really?” he mimicked, his other hand to hold me in place.

“You get over me trying to smother you with a blanket?” I asked, Lucas shrugging with a playful grin plastered on his face. “Is this a kink I don’t know about or?”

“I mean, it’s not like I can ask you to dominate me. We both know that can’t happen,” he mused.

“Oh my god. You have a mommy kink.” I flicked his forehead and he frowned, shaking his head.

“No!”

“You want me to do that thing!” My voice rose an octave. “Do you want to , baby boy? Listen to mommy—”

“Alright, it’s gone. My is gone.” Lucas released my waist and flipped me over so I was laying beside him in bed. “It’s gone, dude.”

“It wasn’t a real ; it was morning wood,” I told him when I remembered what he said. “Wait, really? You think I can’t dominate you?”

It was true that Lucas was the more domineering one in bed and while I fought for control, it was simply because he was huge… In every way. Every time I tried to overtake him, throw my legs over him to assert dominance, I would find myself either gasping for breath because he would still be directing everything along the way or bruised up because he simply did not allow it to happen.

“The last time you tried, you almost slipped in the shower,” he pointed out and I flushed red. “Look, I know you can try but I just am not used to it. I’m used to taking the wheel, you know.”

“Jesus Christ, you have a power kink!”

“No, it’s not about kinks.” He narrowed his eyes at me, turning to the side once again to shove his hand under my shirt and give one of my s a squeeze, looking deep in thought. “I’ve never ed a girl long enough for her to be able to dominate me in bed. It’s always a one-night stand so I take the lead the first night and it doesn’t happen again so that’s where it ends.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “Do you want me to try?”

“What are you going to do? Blind-fold me and edge me on?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as if to taunt me.

“Do you want me to? I can.” I nodded and Lucas’ smile slid off from his face as if he was buffering. “I mean, we can talk about it. Like me, I like to be choked—”

Lucas’ eyes widened at my words and I quickly tried to correct myself by adding that I didn’t like to be choked hard, I just liked mild choking. He blinked, a hand going up to wrap around my neck as if he was trying it out when he shook his head.

“Oh. Well, ,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. “I might end up killing you, no. Don’t think that’s a good idea. 56% of women found dead while having is because of asphyxiation and I don’t want to end up in jail.”

“’Hongkongese jailed for choking one night stand’ sounds like a great headline,” I told him and he shook his head rapidly but I noticed he still hasn’t removed his hand from my throat. He looked like he was deep in thought.

“You’re more than a one-night stand; more like a multiple-night stand,” he told me when he moved his hand down and laid it flat against my chest. “You’re so frail, though. What if I bruise you?”

“Are you still thinking about it?” I asked, laughing at how conflicted he looked. “Wong, you don’t have to do it. I’m not saying you need to.”

“I know, I just… I do like choking, too,” he admitted, his hand back up to wrapping around my neck. “It’s just… , I think I’m going to enjoy this. What if something goes wrong? Where do I find a body bag just in case?”

“Lucas!”

He laughed, grabbing my chin so I could look straight at him. His finger smoothed over my lips and for a moment, we just lay there, staring at each other. He smiled and I smiled back, stretching when I finally laid a hand over his cheek.

“So…”

“So?” he asked back and I winked at him, scooting over to him. “Where is it going to happen?”

“Right, because we have so many rooms to choose from,” I said sarcastically, Lucas grabbing me to kiss me, his lips molding against mine. “Choke me, baby boy.”

“,” he mumbled once more against my lips, flipping me over. “Let’s see how much you can take.”

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A few days had passed and I got a reminder from Jeonghan who kept texting to ask why I was avoiding him. I ignored it as I should and when I exited my bedroom, I saw Lucas with his eyes strained on the TV, a bowl of cereal on his lap. He flickered his eyes onto me and patted the place beside him.

I heaved a sigh, plopping onto the space beside him, Lucas absentmindedly placing the bowl onto the table before he moved his arm back to wrap it around my shoulders as if to give me warmth. I loved how affection with Lucas came naturally, Lucas’ hands squeezing my upper arm rhythmically.

“Jeonghan?” he asked and I grunted. “What does he want?”

Lucas was no stranger to my stories and complaints about Yoon Jeonghan. He had heard his fair share and on nights when it would get too hard to handle, I would find myself tucked in his bed with him telling me that I deserved better.

“I got him tickets for his birthday,” I told him and Lucas nodded, his eyebrows furrowing when Spongebomb melted into a hole, the cartoon being one of his guilty pleasures. “Now that we’re not talking, it’s useless.”

“Typical break up shenanigan.” He shrugged, a hand going to my head to pat it. “Just send it to him and go, “For you and your new girlfriend.” and call it a day.”

“Yup, not doing that. They were expensive and it’s tonight.”

“What kind of music does the all-mighty Yoon Jeonghan listen to, anyway?”

“Rock band. Some band called ‘The Syndicate of Secrets’.”

“Isn’t that death metal?” he asked and I looked up, trying to remember what kind of music it was. I remember searching them up before buying tickets and all I remembered was intense bass and really loud electric guitars.

I then got an idea, my eyes lighting up when I looked up at him. Lucas must have felt my gaze because he looked down at me, looked at the TV then back again at me before sighing.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“You said you listen to every genre of music other than One Direction and Justin Bieber,” I pointed out and he glanced at me once more, dragging his eyes away back towards the TV. “It’ll be fun. We can get drunk, watch some weird death metal and then come home and gossip about how bad Jeonghan’s taste in music is.”

“What if I actually enjoy it?” he asked and I raised an eyebrow.

“Enjoy going with me or the music?”

“I was going to say the music… But both?”

“It’s not a date, Lucas,” I scoffed, peeling myself away from him, Lucas’ arm hanging off one of my shoulders. “and we get to buy groceries before we come back home.”

“Sure, whatever you say. But if my ears fall off from listening to death metal, I’m holding you liable.”

“Noted. Don’t you have insurance?” I asked, Lucas giving me a look. “Just kidding.”

I puckered my lips at him and Lucas stared at me, so I leaned down to peck his hand that was on my shoulder before swatting it away. He wiped his hand with feigned disgust and I beamed at him, Lucas telling me to get out from the front of the TV.

“I’m going to check out my wardrobe,” I told him, Lucas grunting.

A few hours had passed and I found myself hopping into Lucas’ room to see him on his bed flipping through a manual. I held the outfit against my chest in hopes to show him what I was about to wear when he beat me to it.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure you look good.”

“You didn’t even look at it.”

“It’s probably a shirt and your black leather jacket along with tight black pants,” he replied, and I rolled my eyes. “Was I right?”

He looked up this time and I pressed my lips together, Lucas letting out a laugh. Upon asking him what he would wear, he told me that he’d wear the same thing. T-shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

“What if I lose you in the crowd?” I asked, Lucas shaking his head and telling me that he wouldn’t allow that to happen. “You know, I checked out their last concerts, it looked more like a rave than a concert.”

“Was the music good?” he asked and I nodded. “Why are you getting ready so early? It’s only 5 pm.”

“We have to leave by 6,” I pointed out. It didn’t take long for me to get ready, drying my short hair and putting on make-up. Lucas, however, got ready two minutes before six, throwing on his clothes and ruffling his hair before telling me to hurry up.

“Why are you so slow?” he complained and I grabbed my bag. “Why do girls wear so much make-up? Your eyeliner is wonky.”

“Wong YuKhei, I spent ten minutes on this eyeliner.” I pushed open the door, my bag around my shoulders when we went down to grab a cab. Lucas opted not to drive since he knew that we would be drinking. After a couple minutes of bickering, the cab arrived and Lucas had to physically shove me into the back before climbing in with me.

Upon reaching the concert, I saw that so many people were already there. Lucas paid for the cab and he heaved a sigh when he saw the number of people waiting for the venue to open. The entrances were still blocked and I grabbed his hand, pulling him along with me so we could buy some alcohol.

That is how we stood at the side, a bottle of vodka while Lucas and I downed it. After a bet of who could handle their alcohol (I knew I would lose, no doubt about that, but it was fun either way.), Lucas and I chugged down half a bottle each and the searing feeling of alcohol running down my throat made me make a face.

He coughed, Lucas swallowing it and reaching out to steady himself against the wall.

The thing with Lucas was that even if he got drunk, after moving around, he would often find the effects of alcohol disappearing. We talked about it once and we both agreed it was because of his metabolism. I, however, would find that I could drink once and the effects would linger even the next morning.

It was funny how his tan skin flushed up, Lucas trying to hold himself upwards. It wasn’t smart to drink it all in one go, I told him; but then he reminded me that we weren’t smart people, anyway. He laughed, holding his arms upwards and I found the alcohol taking effect, my body gravitating towards him.

In the shadows, we stayed there, his arms around me for a while when we heard the venue opening and we entered the area to see that the band had finished setting up their instruments. People began to scream and despite not being fans of this particular band, I found myself yelling out very loudly.

Lucas echoed my words and I giggled, stumbling forward. Lucas grabbed my upper arm to steady me, both of us struggling to walk straight. I swayed, the band handling the opening song.

“Oh, wait. I know this song!” I yelled to Lucas and he bopped his head. He was trying to not be too drunk and I could see that with how he closed his eyes. Flashing lights made our heads spin even more, Lucas seemingly getting drunker by the moment.

I didn’t know if I had to worry, Lucas opening his eyes and running a hand through his hair. He must have seen my expression because he gave me a smile, his hands going to grab my waist to pull me back against his chest, his arms tightening as we began to dance to the music.

While everyone screamed, we stood there swaying to the music back and forth like we were lost in our own world. I closed my eyes, Lucas leaning down to press his lips against my neck and I reached up to press my hand against his cheek.

Two drunk people in a crowd of very loud people.

He grunted and I could feel him slowly sober up, Lucas finally standing up straight and I turned to him. He gave me an “Okay” sign and released me. I too, felt better as we began to scream and yell according to the people around us.

Once the third song came, we were jumping around, hands in the air when I saw a very tall dude in front of us. Lucas was swaying back and forth when I pointed at the tall guy.

“That looks like Johnny,” I found myself saying, Lucas tilting his head at the person when the person turned around and we both gasped. “Johnny!”

Johnny looked at me, then his eyes went to Lucas. He realized that we recognized him and he quickly brought a finger to his lips, his eyes running over the crowd when he flashed us his badge.

“Crowd control.” He mouthed and we both nodded dumbly when Lucas frowned, his arm wrapping around my shoulders from behind. “Police Academy.”

“You’re crowd control… shouldn’t you be by the door?” Lucas asked loudly, Johnny shaking his hand to tell him not to be too loud. I laughed, Johnny finally moving away and saying something to Lucas before patting him on the shoulder.

“You didn’t see me,” Johnny said to me, wagging a finger at me when he winked at Lucas. “You both are drunk as . Have fun, you two.”

With that, he had walked away, leaving both of us watching his tall stature walk through the crowd.

Both of us went back to yelling ineligible words (since we didn’t know the lyrics) and Lucas told me that he’d go and get more alcohol. In the interlude, I found myself sitting on the ground to rest my legs for ten minutes when Lucas came back with beer cans and we both chugged it down.

Kids, do not mix your alcohol.

Because everything was blurry after that.

I found myself on Lucas’ shoulders, the lights doing their thing. A few of the band members were jumping backwards into the crowd, the people holding them up. The music left my ears ringing and drunk, the concert ending at exactly ten pm as we both stumbled out of the venue.

“I need to rest. Give me a moment.” Lucas leaned against the wall and I mimicked his actions, closing my eyes as my head spun. “We need to buy groceries.”

“Groceries,” I echoed.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Okay, let’s go,” I said again, grabbing his hand and finally pulling him to the grocery store. My stomach was grumbling, my body was buzzing and I was seeing two of everything. “Ramen—”

“Not ramen.” Lucas shook his head, dragging me with him. “You’re going to puke out ramen.”

“Okay, not ramen,” I murmured under my breath when a beat passed and I said it again. “Ramen.”

“No ramen—” Lucas paused before he sighed. “Okay, ramen.”

“Wow, you did not put up a fight.”

“We just danced for two hours and I had you on my shoulders for half an hour. I would be crazy to put up a fight,” he pointed out. I was already rushing to the ramen aisle, grabbing one pack of ramen when I turned to see Lucas at the end of the aisle, a hand in the air as if he knew what I was about to do.

“Do not—”

“Catch!” I whispered loudly, flinging the pack of ramen to him when his eyes widened. Sadly, I had bad throwing skills and it didn’t go as far as I expected, the pack of ramen falling straight down on the ground right between both of us. “Aw, man!”

Lucas froze and we both looked around. When we saw that no one saw what I did, I pointed at the ramen to see Lucas rush