1.  things you said at 1 a.m.

Sleepy Jungsoo is one of Heechul’s favorite Jungsoo. Some nights when he’s really exhausted, he’d be almost glued to Heechul, acting like a baby who needs someone else to do things for him. Heechul doesn’t mind, though. Leeteuk has had far more good things done for him.

Besides, he loves the variety of ways Jungsoo shows his gratitude in the morning. Maybe tons of kisses, maybe breakfast on bed, maybe even a ridiculously shy Jungsoo realizing that Heechul saw his body because he bathed him and changed his clothes, as if Heechul haven’t done that for a thousand times already.

A group schedule has finished just now. The clock says twelve a.m. and Heechul sighs. It’s really not best for men nearing their 40s to be up this late.

“Baby, we’ll brush your teeth and face, then go to bed already, okay?”

Leeteuk hums in reply, but Heechul’s sure he did not understand anything from that. Heechul gives him a good look, his eyes radiating with concern and affection, before he proceeds on doing exactly what he said.

Of course, handling a sleepy Jungsoo involves a little mess. He would whine when the cold water comes in contact with his face, or he wouldn’t easily open his mouth when brushing. But everything is forgiven and forgotten when Leeteuk pries open his tired eyes, smiles at Heechul and says a warm “I love you” as the clock strikes one. 

“I love you, too” Heechul replies after a few late night, toothpaste kisses and oh, it’s so divine.

3. things you said too quietly

Having fights and disagreements were a common occurrence for them, Leeteuk thinks. There are times when they could hold it in for later and talk like mature adults that they should be. Sometimes, those little things pile up and one moment they already used those things to hurt each other. Leeteuk would always cry at those, while Heechul was a lot stronger emotionally.

Leeteuk looks at Heechul who was holding him in his arms. Time has visibly caught up to them, but he thinks Heechul is still the most handsome in this world. The man has his eyes glued to the game on his phone, his cursing and temper still not toning down despite passage of time (thankfully, only when he’s playing games).

He recalls one fight they had; he was damn scared it would be the end of them. He relives how it felt like it was the calm before the storm – Heechul was so silent, not even refuting what Leeteuk was saying. He doesn’t actually remember what the problem was, but the fight happened in their younger days, so a little understanding was still scarce for them two, young anxious hearts. 

Although the reason was vague, it was vivid in his mind how Heechul stood up, looked at him dead in the eye, and said strongly yet so quietly, so resignedly that he was willing to do anything for him. That he was everything he wanted in this life. 

“You’re my everything, Jungsoo-ah.”

Leeteuk’s preoccupied mind was interrupted by Heechul squealing and patting him aggressively because he won in whatever game he was playing. Leeteuk gazes at him then, eyes clouding with tears that had Heechul worried. Heechul holds his face and asks him what was wrong, but Leeteuk just brings his face close to him, giving Heechul a deep kiss. 

When he finishes, he looks at Heechul and repeats firmly yet so quietly the same words he heard that day. To Heechul that is his light for so long, the space that fills his heart from then on.

“You’re my everything, Heechul-ah.”

7. things you said while we were driving

It’s rare for them to have on-the-road dates. They both don’t feel so well in long trips to nowhere, but Leeteuk insisted that he wanted them to experience it. Heechul would like to think it’s just Leeteuk wanting to show him his baby Mossam, but it feels nice actually, if Heechul were to judge. The weather’s now falling in between fall and winter so the wind blowing in their faces wasn’t much of a nuisance. The stars are visible in the sky, but Heechul thinks there’s no greater star than the ones in Leeteuk’s eyes. Cheesy, too cheesy, his mind supplies.

He stops his thoughts momentarily to just hear Leeteuk softly singing along to the song playing. From time to time, Leeteuk would glance at him, very much like how Leeteuk does when he discovers a song he likes and he’d bug Heechul to listen to it right away. English wasn’t his forte, not even for Leeteuk, but he tries to understand a bunch of these foreign words pieced together. Near the end of the song, Leeteuk softly grabs his hand, then sweetly recites the lyrics.

“For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.”

And at that, Heechul gladly squeezes Leeteuk’s hand back, because that, he wholly felt and understood.

10. things you said that made me feel like

“You are important to me, Jungsoo-ah.”

Jungsoo hears Heechul say on all of his birthdays. Jungsoo smiles, returns the sentiment, grateful that he knows that at least, he was significant in Heechul’s life.

“Ya, but you are important to me, Jungsoo-ah.”

Heechul reminds him one night when Jungsoo was too caught up languishing in his family matters. Jungsoo laughs then, a dry one, but a laugh nonetheless – still thankful that someone sees him as worthy.

“You are important to me, Jungsoo-ah.”

Jungsoo almost snaps. It was the nth time he heard this and it really shouldn’t rile him up. He already knows it, knows too damn well, honestly. Still, he chooses to just relax himself in Heechul’s hold, chooses to enjoy the warmth he barely feels inside.

He hates it when Heechul says things like that. His heart would swell up, completely accepting of his supposed importance; but, later on when all his pretense crashes, he’d feel so ty, thinking how odd it is to be comforted with such words when for the longest time, Jungsoo’s just hell tired of being this consequential part in Heechul’s universe.

being important, Jungsoo grieves. Heechul-ah… I just want to be loved.

20. things you said that I wasn't meant to hear

“What did you just call me, Teuk-ah?”

Heechul asks as he fully opens the door, teasing evident in his tone. He just came home and got stopped on his tracks as he heard faint murmurs coming from his and Leeteuk’s shared room, wondering if Leeteuk invited someone over.

“Teukie?” 

Heechul repeats, now inching closer to Leeteuk. The man has his back to him, sitting on the bed, with Heebum practically being crushed between his chest and lap. He could see the man shift in place, most likely thinking of a way out from this… confrontation. Which was about damn time, really.

“Come on, my Jungsoo. Wanna share with me what you told our Heebummie?” 

Heechul now adds his weight to the bed, his arms around Leeteuk’s waist, lips dangerously close to his neck. At the mention of his name, Heebum perks up, gives a little meow as if to acknowledge his owner.

Some minutes pass with Leeteuk not really budging from his position. Heechul tried to play with his hands, but the man seemed like he was frozen on spot. Heebum has already scampered away from them two onto the windowsill.

Feeling that Leeteuk may need more time to process his shock, Heechul sighed and started to scoot away, calling for Heebum to go with him. That is when Leeteuk swiftly turned to him, face practically buried on Heechul’s neck. Heechul smiles then because finally, freaking finally…

“Don’t go.”

…he’s gonna hear the endearment back from Teukie himself.

“My love.”