Chapter 1:

Loveless

Kim Jaejoong has always loved reading the words emerging on his tattoo.

Early on, everyone naturally develops an attachment to the inscriptions they were born with, reflecting the thoughts of the person destined to be with you. But it was especially different for Jaejoong. Usually, the inscriptions would be on your back, on your sides, on your legs, places you don’t normally see. But Jaejoong had them exactly on his left forearm, and he could read them easily even without meaning to.

The coffee-colored words on his arm would shift, scrambling lines to form something coherent and made the hopelessly romantic Jaejoong giddy. It made him feel connected with someone even far away. Seeing words on his arm change and change all the time like it was a living thing, he never felt that he was ever alone.

“My Love” was what he called the person behind the thoughts that invaded his skin, shifting magically and constantly.

Sometimes, his Love was angry, searing his skin with harsh thoughts like ‘hate him’, ‘coward’, ‘want to punch’ and days like these would be awful for Jaejoong. His heart would be heavy as he felt the anger of the words and he would talk to his soulmate as if they were there. He would sit on his bedside, staring at the tattoo and mumble, “What made you angry this time? I hope they apologize to you.”

Sometimes, his Love was happy, and his forearm would have writings like ‘best day’, ‘love it’, ‘congratulations’, and ultimately, it would make him feel happy as well and the good vibes lasted the whole day.

From a young age, Jaejoong tried to know and remember details about his Love, so once they are together, it would be as if they’ve known each other ever since. Like they had never been separated at all.

February 6 was his Love’s birthday. He was sure of it after seeing ‘my birthday’ written on his arm the same day, year after year. Jaejoong would wish his Love a happy birthday, and he’d go out for dinner and buy a cake to celebrate even just a bit.

He learned that his Love was obsessed with green, and had a husky named “Typhoon”. Pretty awesome name, Jaejoong thought. His family didn’t have any pets at all, so he felt that Typhoon had also been his pet whenever his Love would play fetch with him or take him to a nice walk.

He’s never seen this person or heard their voice, but when time comes and they meet, whatever his Love looks like or sounds like, he would accept whole-heartedly. Of this, there has never been any doubt in his mind.

Kim Jaejoong has always loved reading the words emerging on his tattoo.

Until one day.

Right after a class in his university, as he was packing his notebooks and books into his bag, he saw a new writing appear.

‘i miss him so much,’ it read.

It wasn’t that much of a big deal. His Love had thoughts of missing others before, like their mother, father, friends too… Maybe it was something like that.

But it wasn’t.

‘i love his eyes,’ It said, and Jaejoong was shocked, no, horrified... The realization crept slowly, and with it was dread. The thoughts couldn’t be mistaken as platonic or non-romantic.

‘i love his laugh’ ‘his smile is amazing’ ‘want to see him’

It didn’t stop and his forearm was filled with thoughts of romance from his Love when none of it was directed at him! He felt a radiating sting in his heart and his world crumbled, falling into pieces at his feet. He hated it and out of despair he covered his arm angrily with a bandage and cried for days.

“Oh, you went to class today. You made up with your love?” A tall man wearing glasses and an orange sweater teased since Jae missed a few classes because of his sulking.

“Unloyal... Two-timing !!” Jae immediately complained upon remembering his misery. “I was betrayed!”

They were walking through the hallway to get to the next class, when another man with black hair and blue shirt chided at the sometimes overly dramatic Jaejoong. "Betrayal only counts if you were actually together.” His remark made Jaejoong sulk even more.

The one with glasses then added, “Told you that soulmate concept is nonsense. Many people become couples regardless of the tattoo."

This was a friend he met in some class a few weeks back. He was the opposite of Jaejoong. While Jae was obsessed with his soulmate, this guy didn’t even think of it as anything, and only saw it as being lazy when it comes to forming a real relationship. Because of this, Jae called him “non-believer” or “loveless”, someone who has no soulmate at all.

Jaejoong gathered himself to show up in school the next days, but he was still very upset from the idea that his Love seemed to have found their own partner without even waiting to meet him. Out of hurt and feeling of dejection, he started wearing long sleeves and jackets to cover up his arm and tried to put the whole thing out of his mind.

Maybe the non-believer was right after all…

Maybe… There was no such thing as soulmates…

For the next weeks, Jae focused on his studies. He poured his attention on doing home works to keep his mind off his soulmate’s affair. His non-believer friend kept him company and them dining out became more frequent and frequent.

“Hey Loveless,” Jae called his friend and they sat across each other at a casual restaurant one night. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Don’t you ever check your inscription?”