s i x 

The two of them hadn’t spoken much since that night. It felt much easier to pretend nothing happened; Kira didn’t want to apologize, and Baekhyun, as usual, acted as if nothing really mattered to him. When they walked to lunch together a few days later, Baekhyun didn’t press about the matter, nor asked for an apology or explanation when Kira looped her arm through his.

He allowed her to. He spared a momentary glance, a small smile playing on his lips, but they were hollow and empty. Baekhyun seemed a lot more dishevelled that day. His eyes lacked their usual mirth, but he remained warm, so warm that Kira prayed he wouldn’t find it weird that she’d pressed herself by his side, the two of them practically glued at the hip.

Her friends were either away from work or avoiding her, so it wasn’t that much difficult for her to feel less guilty that she didn’t want to spend time with them either. Searching for Yui had become a tiring task, and it was all the more relieving to know Yui probably didn’t care that much either if she was around or not.

It’d been almost two weeks that their dorm room had remained empty, save for the strewn bottles across the floor that Kira couldn’t be bothered to clean up.

When Baekhyun gently tugged her into the direction of his friends’ table, Kira offered a smile that matched his, hoping that hers looked a lot more enthusiastic than the one he wore. Baekhyun nodded once to himself, greeting his friends as they took a seat.

Kira had finally accepted this body had quite a social standing. His friends stopped in the middle of their conversations when Kira leaned against on Baekhyun, the latter falling into a deep slumber once more. She waved hi to them and acted coolly, flipping her hair back over her shoulder as she formally introduced herself as Baekhyun’s girlfriend. They were taken aback by her response, but she couldn’t understand what they said when her eyes zeroed in on the food in front of them.

Cans of Coke, a plate of burgers, a salad for Jongin’s girlfriend, and three sandwiches wrapped in napkins – it reminded her of her morning routine. Sure, it had been easier to stop her search for her best friend, but in the hopes she’d come back, Kira left money on her desk every morning in case she skipped breakfast.

“It feels so weird seeing you both together,” Sehun commented from across the table, eating away at his sandwich as if it was his last meal.

He gestured to Baekhyun’s resting form, Kira practically sprawled on top of his back way too comfortably for her mental liking. She didn’t want to be too close to Baekhyun, especially after she’d been unnecessarily rude to him the other night, but he was so warm and comfortable. She needed someone’s body beside her as a form of comfort, and as long as Baekhyun didn’t mind, then why should she?

After all, he’d understand their need for physical intimacy better than anyone else, wouldn’t he?

“By the way, where’s Chanyeol? I haven’t seen him since DnD night.”

“You know him, he’s hopping from one bar to another looking for some gigs,” Kyungsoo muttered from top of his Biology book, pushing his glasses up the top of his nose. Kira’s eyes flicked to him, and when she did, his ears turned red. Kyungsoo covered his face behind a book, “He’ll come around.”

Kira pursed her lips. Out of everyone from Baekhyun’s group of friends, it made sense she wouldn’t be well received by Kyungsoo.  She’d heard once or twice that she’d rejected the cute Biology major when he asked her out for coffee, all because he ‘wasn’t her type’ and wasn’t ‘down for men who looked like they would get too attached easily.’ Rumour had it that Kyungsoo used to tour her around the campus as a part of the Exchange Student Welcoming Team, but Kira couldn’t remember really well.

It was a shame, really. Kyungsoo seemed really nice and sweet, but Kira couldn’t go against this body’s past mistakes. She in her teeth instead, shoving down the guilt that welled up .

Their group had fallen into mindless chatter, now uninterested by the new addition to the table. Baekhyun sleeping didn’t seem like a new thing to them either since they let him be, making sure to keep their tone down to not disturb him. Kira hid her smile, surprised by the affectionate and caring gesture of his rowdy friends, thinking that maybe they weren’t so bad, after all.

Now that made Kira chuckle to herself. After everything she’d done and been through in this body, she had to take a guess that maybe she was probably the cruellest presence in their table. Sehun may have look pleased, but Kyungsoo was intent on ignoring her, and Jongin’s smile was so evidently fake she was almost off-putted.

Whatever have you done? She asked herself, scooting closer to Baekhyun to ignore their apparent dislike for her. The man didn’t budge at her movement. Figuring that he was too out of it to notice her, Kira took a deep breath before lowering her head behind his neck.

He was warmest there, his hood pulled back to show his messy hair that looked like he just rolled out of bed. It looked good on him, but what didn’t? Kira couldn’t stop herself from running her fingers through the soft tendrils, nudging her nose closer to him so she could smell his perfume, but then she stopped. Baekhyun...smelled like smoke.

Not cigarette smoke, but that same barbecue like smoke that you’d get after spending a good hour or two in a cramped grilling place. She sniffed him harder this time, frowning at the faint stench of alcohol she’d been too familiar through her own endeavours. “Baek,” she shook him gently, one palm placed flat on his back.

“Yeah?” he mumbled sleepily, turning his head so she could look at him. His eyes were half-open, although he wore a full-blown grin that revealed his pearly-white teeth. Even with dark circles lining his eyes, he looked irritatingly handsome. And the worst part was that he knew it, and he didn’t mind flaunting it one bit.

“You okay?”

“Of course,” he pouted in confusion, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look tired.”

“Oh,” his pink lips formed into an ‘o’ shape as he said so, “I was up all night starting on my project since my partner kept ditching me,” Baekhyun grinned teasingly, and that’s when he knew he meant her. They were partners, after all, and her cheeks pinked at the realization that she hadn’t done a single thing for it. Upon seeing her worry, Baekhyun shook his head, sitting up slowly, forcing Kira to detach herself from him so he could move. “I’m just kidding. We can work on it this weekend. Unless...” he wagged his eyebrows up and down, his finger twirling in her direction. “You’re up for other things?”

With a scoff, Kira playfully pushed him away. How could she ever take him seriously when he was like this? “Every time,” she puffed her cheeks out, “Every time I start to be more human with you, you keep reminding me why I don’t like you.”

“Careful, sweetheart,” he leaned close, too close than she expected, and Kira unknowingly in a breath at the proximity. To others, it may look like they were whispering sensual things to one another, and it didn’t help Kira breathed hard as well. In reality, her fists were clenching his hoodie between them in an attempt for her to control herself. Arrogantly, (that little ) cocked a brow up at her, “People might hear. Wouldn’t want to attract any hungry wolves now, would we?” Kira admitted that ever since they ‘dated’, people have stopped asking them out ever since. It worked. Their stupid ing plan actually worked. “Don’t forget – I am yours as much as you are mine.”

“Idiot,” she snarled back, inwardly chastising herself for not coming up with a more intelligent response. She hated how helpless she felt around him. Baekhyun merely laughed, having expected that from her wholeheartedly, before settling back into his comfortable position to nap. “Seriously, though, are you an insomniac? You always show up late for class and then sleep afterwards. Why bother coming in the first place?”

“Hmm, I guess you can say that,” he smiled through half-lidded eyes, his innocent features extremely and dangerously deceiving. His words did not match his face at all. “I have trouble sleeping.”

Kira resisted the urge to groan. He was so vague when he wanted to be. Being stuck in a world where she couldn’t find a proper answer to everything, in addition to Baekhyun’s odd behaviour tensed her even more. Desperate to get answers, Kira mimicked his posture, her cheek resting on her arms as they stared at each other. “Why?”

“I can’t get someone’s angelic face out of my head. They keep me up all night, tempting me to finally get to hold their hand the next morning or—” She should’ve known he was going to make another flirty comment when he smirked, but Kira never learned. Baekhyun s in until his face was right close to hers, and she mercilessly shoved his face away with her entire palm. She felt Baekhyun’s contort into laughter underneath her skin. “I didn’t break your precious no kissing rule. You can’t punish me for anything.”

“You invaded my personal space when I told you not to.”

“Sweetheart, you’re glued right next to me. You broke your own rule first.”

“I don’t care,” she spat at him, pinching his ear and twisting it until he burst into laughter. The bastard didn’t even complain. He must be a masochist to be this way, so Kira retracted her arm in disgust. “When I say you’ve broken a rule, you’ve broken it. And now you must face the consequences of my wrath!”

“Being punished doesn’t sound so bad,” he the edges of his lips, those teasing brown pools falling to her lips. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m free this weekend. We could always—”

“Speak one more word and I’m biting your nose.”

“My nose?” his shoulders shook in laughter, “What is with you and biting?”

“Kira’s a biter?”

“I am not!”

Sehun stopped eating at his question, the lettuce from his sandwich halfway out his mouth. His cheeks were puffed out with the stuffed food inside, looking ridiculously like a little kid, yet Baekhyun was having none of it. At his words, Baekhyun sat up, wrapping a possessive arm around Kira’s shoulders. “Yah, Sehun, you don’t have the right to like that,” he glared at his friend who nervously swallowed the rest of his sandwich with much difficulty. “That privilege is reserved for me only, you understand?”

“I was just asking.”

“Well, keep your thoughts to yourself next time, okay kiddo? Or I’m not playing PUBG with you anymore.”

Sehun nearly choked on his sandwich – whether from his awful eating habit or Baekhyun’s words, maybe both – making Jongin lean over to pat his friend’s back. He turned to Kira once he’d swallowed and taken a sip of water, pouting with his arms crossed on his chest. It was funny to see such a guy who towered over all of them look so small as he whined, “Your boyfriend is mean.”

Kira found herself blushing at his words, her heart skipping a beat at the term ‘boyfriend.’ “Yeah,” she glanced sideways at Baekhyun, who had enough audacity to wink at her. “I can agree on that.”

But the smile on Baekhyun’s face told her he knew she didn’t mean it. For that, she was thankful. Kira wanted to apologize to him so badly, but her pride was choking the words up in that she couldn’t voice them out. It was enough that he understood. Or at least, she hoped he did, because she was about to do a lot of things she would constantly apologize for.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Ten days. Yui still hadn’t gone back. If she did come back at some point to get her essentials, she left the money ignored on her desk. Kira didn’t know what to do, and the anxiety of not fixing things with her friend had her gnawing on her thumbnails. She stopped when she reached the edge of her skin and she drew out blood. Kira wiped it away at her skirt, fixing her hair up into a ponytail before heading out. She had no reason to stay anyway.

Kira had been avoiding any stalls or clubs – really anywhere that gave her access to a drink – despite her body’s complaints. But she couldn’t stay inside that suffocating room either. She had to leave, just go somewhere to make her nerves settle down.

Suddenly, she remembered that Baekhyun had insomnia and looked half-dead in the times he didn’t try too hard to look like he wasn’t. She’d been with him long enough to see past his efforts into fooling everyone he was okay, but she knew he wasn’t. She may not know the why, but she didn’t have to. All she knew was that she needed to help him as much as he could. Maybe this way he’d forgive her the moment she really allowed herself to use him for her own selfish needs.

Kira didn’t waste time as she dashed to the nearest pharmacy. Most of the shops were closed already considering it was way past three in the morning. The bells chimed when she opened the door, catching the attention of a gray haired woman behind the counter. “Hi, how may I help you?”

“Hello,” she mumbled awkwardly, looking around the place before she realized she’d never really done this before. Kira blinked owlishly at the amount of drugs inside the pharmacy, unsure of what brand or type of pill she should get. “Uh, I’m not sure if I need prescriptions from a doctor first, but I was wondering if maybe I could get some sleeping pills?”

“Prescriptions aren’t needed unless it’ll aid any further medications you’re taking right now,” the woman began writing something down on a piece of paper before she gazed up at Kira with a concerned smile, “Are you on other meds right now, dear?”

“Oh no, it’s for my boyfriend. He’s been really busy with uni that he’s having trouble sleeping. He...hasn’t looked fine in quite some time.”

At the mention of her boyfriend, the old woman noticeably lit up. “Your boyfriend is really lucky to have a caring girlfriend like you,” she turned around to shuffle through the endless shelves of pills, reading through three bottles before settling on one. “That reminds me of when I’d scold my husband for skipping meals because he’s too focused on work. Sometimes men are too engrossed in something they forgot the most b