“Invest it all in Jangga” he said, his eyes lingering on the bus that took Sooah with it. His heart pounding on his chest, he can feel a newborn fiery determination fueled by his desire to finally take his revenge to its next level. The waiting is over. He’s no longer in that stage of the game where he’s just sitting idly by. He’s finally making a move, a huge one to shaken the ground beneath Jangga’s feet. It may be insufficient to budge and make the Chairman stumble, but it’s enough to make Saeroyi’s presence known. Make them realize he’s still in and the game’s still on. A game he’s gonna play until he’s gain it all. A game he swore he’d win for justice and now... for Sooah. 

Sooah. 

A feeling so familiar to him gripping tightly on his chest as he thought about her, came creeping in much stronger than how it had before. Saeroyi had no idea how hard their situation right now is making it for her. Not until he met Geunwon at the broadcasting company and slapped him with the truth; opening his eyes to the grave condition she’s in. She’s torn. Between her work and him, she is. Sooah is in trouble at her work. 

 

Now, he must do everything that he could to make sure Sooah would one day be free from her ties with Jangga. More of a reason for him to finally execute such huge move that’d absolutely bring the heat on. Patting his head, he was hell bent on winning against them no matter what the expense might be. It’s been years and he’s ready for it. 

Turning back, he returned to his pub. With every step he took, Sooah filled his mind. But not until he entered the pub and saw his crew, sitting around the table, looking so down, defeated, and worried. His eyes turned to his left and see the pack of groceries filled with the second batch of ingredients Hyunyi was supposed to use for practice. All of it sinking in, he felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

“You’re back,” Tony greeted him with a bow and the rest looked at him, their expressions worried. Their eyes were filled with questions he knew he couldn’t answer even if he wanted to.

“Where have you been, boss? What happened with the live broadcast?” Seungkwon asked. 

“Is the show really canceled?” Geunsoo started, his words slow as he seemed to be choosing his words with caution. “Or were we rejected?” 

“Rejected?” Everyone blurted out in shock. “Why would we be rejected? I thought it was already settled?” Seungkwon asked. 

Scanning the place, he realized Yiseo wasn’t there. He looked around and saw her nowhere. “Where’s Yiseo?” 

Hyunyi just gestured with her head. “She’s up at the rooftop” she said before releasing a sigh. “She’s taking it hard. Everyone’s eaten already and she’s up there, refusing to go down and grab maybe even a bite. She said she won’t let them get away with what happened without an explanation.” 

“Well she worked really hard for us to land this spot you know. If I were her, I won’t just call them I’d barge at their office and—” Seungkwon didn’t finish his sentence as Hyunyi cut him off.

“What? What? Pick a fight?”

“Of course! This isn’t right. We’ve already been preparing for it and they’d suddenly cancel on us? Without even having a small amount of decency to explain to us why? That’s messed up” Seungkwon added, standing up, planting his hands on his hip. 

“He’s right,” Tony agreed. “They could’ve given us a reason at the very least. It’s very unprofessional of them to just cancel on us. It’s not fair for us especially not for Yiseo who’d they been talking to” Hyunyi found this answer to be reasonable and releasing a sigh, she just nodded her head in agreement.

“I checked on her earlier” Geunsoo said, his eyes trained on Saeroyi. “She’s talking to someone and I think she’s making another proposal. I’m not sure but she’s got her hands full right now and she’s in a really foul mood. I think she’s trying to get us another chance at a live broadcast” 

Hyunyi snickered humorlessly and Saeroyi caught it. “Wow, that girl. She’s really working her off” she muttered more like to herself and he wouldn’t be able to catch it if it weren’t for the silence that’s reigning the pub at the moment. 

No one dared to utter another word. It’s like they’re back with the reality and everyone’s reminded with the situation they were in. They’ve been very excited about this live broadcast. They even held a celebration already and for it to be snatched away from them is just unfair and disappointing. 

Saeroyi, his eyebrows furrowed with emotions that the crew couldn’t really name, walked wordlessly up the stairs. He took two steps at a time, as if in a hurry. He, however, have no idea what to say but he figured he’d know once he sees her. He was about to walk straight in when his feet were suddenly bolted on the ground beneath him. Standing by the doorway, he can hear her and he couldn’t help but lean in and listen. 

“Did I make a mistake on the file I’ve sent you this morning?—What? Then why, I mean everything’s been settled, right? I even sent you via email the—W-what? You just cut us off? What are you talking about? Conflicts? What conflicts?—Well, isn’t there anything I could do to change yo—Could I talk to him, then? I’d work with him before and I know—well then, aren’t you supposed to te—hello? Hello?!” Yiseo cursed under her breath and Saeroyi heard her stomp her foot hard. 

Peeking in a little bit, Yiseo has her back on him, her laptop sitting on the table alongside a few folders and documents. Slamming a hand down on the table, she grabbed a handful of documents and read it. “There’s nothing wrong with these though, I double-checked everything before sending these to them” she muttered angrily. “These people are just full of ” she said and cursed again. 

She then straightened her back and began typing on her laptop and Saeroyi just stood there watching her. Yiseo’s been silent, working on her laptop and occassionally studying the documents she laid out on the table. He couldn’t see what she’s doing but he thought that what Geunsoo said may be right. She’s working on another proposal. She’s trying to get their pub another spot. It was confirmed when Yiseo dialed on the phone and talked to someone. 

“Hi Director,” she greeted, her voice sweet and polite. “I know! It’s been months since we last had a cup of coffee, right?—Well, nothing much really, I know you already heard what’s taking my time nowadays. I’m basically a manager now.” she chuckled, still scrolling and scanning something in her laptop. “Of course, it’s a much more decent pub than what you’ve heard of I can guarantee you that. We’re popular around here at Itaewon, cause how else are you gonna hear about us, right? And I’m sure you’d love us too if you’d come by and have a drink—Well, how could I turn your offer down? Did you ever hear me say no to you? Just come and see for yourself” 

Yiseo chuckled once more and she turned her head a bit that Saeroyi stepped back and hid himself. He didn’t know why he was hiding and he actually felt pathetic doing it. 

“Yes, I already sent the proposal to you director, just let me know once you have a spot for us alright?—Really? Wow, that’s great! Well, the show’s really, really good so it’s not even a surprise” Saeroyi peeked in again just in time to see Yiseo hanging her head low and propping an elbow on the table, she began massaging her temple. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t worry I—Well, at least you got my proposal now, right? I’m just gonna wait for your call, then. Yes, yes, of course. It’s good, yeah—Just give me a call, alright, director? My lines are always open. Yeah, thanks again, have a great night!”

Yiseo sighed and Saeroyi decided to go ahead and talk to her. He already took a few steps when Yiseo’s stomach grumbled and he once again was glued in his place. “Now’s not the time to get hungry” she said to herself  her tone filled with annoyance, and worked on her laptop again.

“Get a grip of yourself Yiseo. You told boss there’s a lot of other channels there. You said it was no big deal. You gotta take responsibility for your words. Make it happen, make it count,” she mumbled as her eyes were shooting lasers at whatever it is she’s working on. 

Taking a deep breath, Saeroyi balled his fists and went back downstairs. He spotted Hyunyi and Seungkwon on the kitchen tidying up while whispering between themselves. Hyunyi was the one who noticed him.

“Is she still working?” she asked and Saeroyi just nodded his head and went on to grab an apron and put it on himself. 

“What are you doing?” Seungkwon asked. 

“Are you gonna cook for her? That’s okay, you can leave it to me,” Hyunyi said, walking up to him as she ties the apron she’s wearing behind her back. He didn’t even notice she was wearing one. “I was already planning on using some of these and cook something for her” she turned to look at the vegetables that were perfectly organized on the table. “These were some of the ingredients I’m supposed to use in practice for the show but since we’re not doing it anymore... I figured—”

“It’s okay, Hyunyi” he said as he grabbed some seafood from their storage area and began cleaning them by the sink. “You guys should take a rest. I’m gonna need you here early in the morning so go home.” 

Saeroyi wasn’t looking at Hyunyi so he didn’t see the mixture of surprise and confusion on her face. He lighted up the stove and placed a pot on it. Grabbing the knife and cutting board, he began mincing garlic.

“Did Geunsoo and Tony left already?” he asked without looking up. 

“No, they just went out” Seungkwon answered. 

“Alright then,” he said as he stirred the chili oil, chili powder and the minced garlic on the pot. Saeroyi was so focused with cooking that the two stood there just gawking at him, wondering why he appeared to be so agitated. Hyunyi wanted to ask and she began to wonder if it’s because of the live broadcast being canceled or if it’s because of Yiseo. What was bothering him? Saeroyi might be unaware but his brows are deeply furrowed and not by concentration, as what Hyunyi assumes, but because of some thoughts that are maybe running through his head. 

Taking a step forward, she planned on asking him what’s wrong when he finally turned to look at them. “You can meet Geunsoo and Tony on the way and tell them to go home now so they could come in early tomorrow morning. I’ll finish tidying the pub, I’m just gonna make sure Yiseo eats first. You two can go home now, take a rest.” he said.  

“Okay boss” Seungkwon answered seconds after. He walked off and still had to drag Hyunyi with him when she didn’t move. The two said goodbye, leaving Saeroyi in the kitchen. 

Hyunyi was halfway right. Saeroyi was agitated but by something he didn’t know of. He was feeling angry not to anyone but to himself and he was frustrated as he didn’t know why. Where did this anger come from? Walking back to the pub he was determined. He was sure. He was set on his goals. But as soon as his feet set in the pub, he suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He felt ashamed, like he did something wrong, something that is unfair. Looking for an answer felt like scanning a crowd for a person he hasn’t even met. It’s frustrating and overwhelming for him. Anger, guilt and shame; where are all these coming from?
 

“Are you nervous?” Yiseo asked. She must’ve seen him fretting with his hands although he was pretty sure he’s been very subtle about it. 

“Yes,” he breathed, going against his instinct to deny and say that he’s alright. He couldn’t though he would’ve if only he didn’t meet her questioning and very concerned eyes. Thinning her lips, she patted him on the shoulder.

“You don’t have to worry about anything boss. I phoned them again this morning and I’ve settled everything already. You’re just gonna have to meet them for formality and of course to orient you about the mechanics of the show and all.” she breathed a smile and he felt his shoulders finally losing the tension it has. “You’re gonna do great. You’re very good with words you know” 

“It’s just that this is gonna be the first time I’m meeting tv producers” he replied. “But I’m gonna do my best so this chance wouldn’t be put into waste.” Yiseo just nodded her head approvingly and squaring up his shoulders, he went on his way. 

 

His conversation with Yiseo earlier that day suddenly came rushing back to him. He remembered telling her he’d do his best so their chance wouldn’t be put into waste. He said that. He is a man of his words and he isn’t someone that’s just full of bull like Yiseo said. Or better yet, he was supposed to be. 

You gotta take responsibility for your words. Make it happen, make it count Yiseo said to herself when he was supposed to be taking responsibility for what’s happening at his pub. He was supposed to be keeping his words, not just to his Danbam crew but to Yiseo as well. The reason why Geunwon and Jangga kept on tripping their pub was because of him. It’s because of him that Geunwon sabotaged their chance to be on a live broadcast, a chance for their pub to grow and get known. A chance for success not only for him but for his Danbam family as well. 

 

Like a silent film, the faces of his crew that night they celebrated appeared on his mind, frame by frame. All of them were excited and expectant. 

I don’t care what you do to me. I told you, don’t worry about me. Whatever you do, I’ll be just fine. So that you won’t suffer, I’ll destroy Jangga Co. I’ll make you quit to ease your mind. 

Recalling what he said to Sooah, his breath hitched. His mouth opening a bit, eyes widening in shock, Saeroyi felt like he’d been poured over a bucket of cold water with the sudden realization. He was dumbfounded. He was frozen. This is where the feelings of shame and guilt rooted from. 

I don’t care what you do to me.

Whatever you do, I’ll be just fine

I don’t care what you do to me.

Whatever you do, I’ll be just fine

to me... 

I’ll be just fine...

me... 

I’ll... fine...
 

Then the defeated and worried looks of Hyunyi, Seungkwon, Geunsoo, and Tony flashed in his mind. Their elated faces replaced by their disappointed ones.

Then of Yiseo. 

Yiseo’s image at the rooftop suddenly flooding his mind aggressively and with no leniency, working so hard, stressing herself out and even skipping her meals even at this time of the night, Saeroyi felt like he was knocked out of air. It’s as if his chest was being hammered, like it’s being pounded and stomped upon with full force. 

He’s forgotten about them. He’s forgotten how it’s not just him that is being directly affected with everything that’s happening and will be happening with the pub from this point onwards. It’s not just him who’s gonna face a hard time and suffer. 

Saeroyi might be used to it but he isn’t alone anymore. He has people with him now. People who are working so hard for his pub, helping him achieve his goal at becoming the best. With their time and effort, they devoted a lot of things to keep the pub alive and going. Danbam is not only his life but a home to them as well. It sure meant something to each of them just as how it does for him.

Seungkwon left his former life and working at the pub meant a new life, a new beginning for him. He’s a new person now and Danbam is a proof of that. Hyunyi worked hard to improve her skill in the kitchen. Day and night, she practiced a lot until her foods are great enough to earn Danbam its regulars. It wasn’t an easy feat especially when a meticulous and strict person like Yiseo’s been watching her every move. She overcame her doubts and is now more confident in herself more than ever and it happened with Danbam at the center of it all. 

Geunsoo and Tony may be new but they found home in their pub. They found family in the presence of people that were once strangers to them. In a short amount of time, they’d been part of a family, a circle they finally can say they belong into. 

And Yiseo. He could never forget the fact that a talented person like her is working at a small pub like his. Her potential’s overflowing and even Saeroyi knows she could do much better than where she is now. If he were to be honest, he’d say that he needs her more than she needs him. That is why the reason why she’s working so hard is still vague to her. It’s clear that she values the pub and she’s working hard for it to achieve growth and progress towards success. She worked hard for the broadcast and is up there right at this moment, giving it her all for the pub. Their pub.

 

These people are with him and he has them now. It’s not just him anymore. How could he forget that? 

That’s where the shame and guilt came from. That’s why he couldn’t look Hyunyi and Seungkwon in the eye earlier. That’s why he can’t come out of hiding and approach Yiseo at the rooftop. That’s what’s bothering him and the sole reason why felt mad at himself. 

Yes, he may have said that for Sooah’s sake, to assure her and give her peace and there may be nothing wrong with that for some people, but to hear himself saying I and me when the pub is concerned sounds so wrong in his ears.
 

His mind lost in these thoughts, the gravity of his realization dawning on him, he accidentally dropped his hand and it made contact at the side of the pot, burning him. He flinched and the ladle fell on the floor. 

“Boss?” he heard Yiseo come in and she must’ve saw what happened for in just a second she’s already standing beside him, holding his hand. “What were you doing?” she scolded and guided his hand by the sink. Holding his hand there, she had her brows creased and Saeroyi scanned her face. She looked pissed. 

“Let it rest there for a while, I’ll get the first-aid kit” she said and before he could even say a word, she’s already out of the kitchen. Seeing the pot boiling, Saeroyi didn’t have a choice but to push Yiseo’s buttons further. Turning the faucet off, he walked over the stove and added the dried kelp and anchovy stock in the pot and stirred it. Grabbing the green onions, mushroom, and tofu, he was about to start cutting them when Yiseo cleared . 

He looked at her and she just shook her head in disbelief and rolled her eyes. “You and your hard of a chestnut head” she muttered roughly to herself. 

“What?” he asked, toning the amusement down in his voice. Did she really say chestnut head? He almost chortled when he heard her call him that. Yes, his hairstyle caused him some teasings but not once did he heard himself be called chestnut. Thinking about it now, he does look like it. The thought of it almost made him break into laughter.

“Nothing,” Yiseo said before pulling his hand towards her. “I’m not even surprised knowing how stubborn you are.” 

“That’s rich coming from you” he retorted, playfully. He’s just looking at her face and he felt relieved and somewhat happy to see that the crease on her forehead was gone and the corner of her lips are finally twitching to mask a smile. 

“I’m a nun compared to you though,” she pulled the kit beside her and opened it. “You know you have this huge tendency to be annoying with your stubborness” 

Saeroyi acted like he’s thinking and she ended up lifting her head up to look at his face “I do agree I tend to be annoying. I’m not gonna rebunk that, but the nun part? That’s pretty debatable” 

Chuckling, Yiseo shook her head in hilarity, “You’re not gonna win by any means boss, I just hope you won’t take it into heart” she smirked, opening a tube of ointment. 

“There’s no need for that. This is nothing, it won’t even hurt in the morning” his eyes were on the reddened part of his hand and when he looked back at Yiseo, she’s wearing her neutral I-told-you-so look on her face, an eyebrow arched at him. What he said only proved her point, he realized.

She sighed as she planted a hand on her hip. “You let me do this and I’d say you win. I’ll admit that I’m more hard-headed than you are” she said. “That’s a pretty good deal if you ask me” her tone teasing. 

Smiling in amusement, he held out his hand at her voluntarily to which she just rolled her eyes at. His gaze transfixed at her while she’s treating his hand, he squirmed in his feet as the feeling was new to him. He’d be lying though if he said that it didn’t feel good to be taken care of. He reached out his hand to caress her hair when she suddenly bent down, closing the kit and placing it in the cabinet under the sink. Feeling awkward, Saeroyi then just scratched his head, averting his eyes. 

“Oh, it’s boiling” Yiseo went to the pot and lifted the lid. “What are you cooking for?” she asked, grabbing a new ladle to stir the soup. 

“I figured you might be hungry so I cooked” he said in nonchalance, standing behind her, leaning in to see how the color of the soup turned out. 

Yiseo turned abruptly and he had been too close to her that he leaned back a bit when she turned. “Really?” she looked at him in surprise, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. “That’s pretty nice” 

He didn’t know what to say to that so he just nodded his head a bit and thinned his lips. Trying to look at something other than her, he saw the ingredients he was supposed to be cutting before Yiseo treated his burn. 

“Where’s everybody else?—What are you doing?” 

The knife he’s holding in his hand was frozen midair as he turned to look at the now frowning Yiseo. He tried to be discreet and he should’ve known better.  “I’m finishing up so we could eat already” he answered innocently.

“Well then let me” she snatched the knife from his hands and started chopping. He gawked at her, shocked that Yiseo seemed to know her way in the kitchen. She surprisingly looked skillful, the way she handles the knife for example. “I may be a rude brat but I’m not sluggish at home. I know how to cook” she stated as if she could read his mind.

“You can just leave it and rest Yiseo, you’ve been working hard already” 

“This is nothing. Besides, I just put an ointment on your hand remember? I don’t think the food would taste good when seasoned with that” Pursing her lips, she eyed him briefly before focusing her sight back at cooking. “This whole ordeal with the live broadcast must be stressing you out and it’s obvious—” she shrugged her shoulders “—well at least for me, that you’re tryna act indifferent about it. I guess I know you enough to notice that. You go ahead and take a breather upstairs. I’ll just set this up when I’m over.” 

He didn’t move. He stayed perfectly still in his place, eyeing her every movement. Putting his hands inside the pockets of his jeans, he leaned at the counter facing her, just a meter away so she could have a better view of her. 

“You’re wearing it right now” she said, her tone serious, without looking at him. He was caught off-guard by the sudden statement and tilting his head on the side, he wasn’t sure if he heard it right. He didn’t even have a clue on what she’s referring to. Studying her face, it frustrated him that he couldn’t read what her emotions are nor decipher what her thoughts might be. She just looked... neutral. He, howbeit, knew better than trust what he sees in her face as it couldn’t truly measure the depth of thoughts her mind must be swimming into right now. 

“Hmm? Wearing what?” 

“You have this look on your face whenever you’re thinking of something you think you should be apologetic about” Yiseo stopped what she was doing and turned her body a bit so she could face him squarely. “You know, like uh.. like you’re about to take a dump or—I can’t really explain it in words but it looks more like this” Yiseo made certain expressions in her face, furrowing her eyebrows, deepening the crease in her forehead at first, then she tried straightening her face with her eyes squinted a bit. 

With a soft laugh, Saeroyi crossed his arms against his chest, “Is that supposed to look like me?” 

Yiseo leaned back and raised both her hands defensively, “Well I know I can’t mimick you perfectly, how could I with a hair like that?” she snickered as she turned back to cooking. 

He made choking sounds in disbelief, scoffing at her he said, “A-are you dissing me?” 

Yiseo turned at him and he raised his chin up, straight up meeting her eyes “Why? Did you take it as an insult?” she asked and she sounded like she’s challenging him. 

“Did you mean it as a compliment then?” 

“Do you think it is?”

He opened his mouth to retort but nothing came. Lips twitching, she’s obviously holding her laughter in and when her eyes gazed down at his, he realized he’s doing the very same thing. In a matter of seconds, their feigned strong front crumbled down and they just bursted laughing. The sound of her laughter harmonizing with his, for a moment, Saeroyi felt like he could breathe well. The suffocating air that used to hang above and around him was gone. Like it had been with her at the bridge, he felt free of everything his past is binding him with. 

Shackles of hatred, desire for revenge, pain for loss and injustice, as if he’s stripped of it all, he let his heart dance along with her melody of glee. He knew this moment wouldn’t last long but there’s no reason not to let himself indulge in bliss no matter how brief it may be. He figured he’d take whatever he can. Especially if it’s the endless bantering they’re having now. Seeming like a contest, the two kept on trying to outwit each other, reaching the extremities just to give the last remark.

As if knowing white cloth won’t be thrown, the boiling pot made a sound, making Yiseo attend to it. Breathing out, she calmed herself down and shook her head, still chuckling as she stirred the pot. Hands in his pockets, he remained still just watching her seasoning the soup while occasionally tasting it. 

“You’re doing it again” she said, smacking her lips to better grasp the taste, her eyes fixed on the soup. Pulled from his zoning out, he blinked and saw the ladle in front of him. “Hmm” Yiseo beckoning at him to taste it. He obliged and leaned in. 

“Ooh” he blurted out. “It’s good” He wasn’t able to tone down the surprise in his voice and Yiseo just smiled at him as if she knew he’s gonna say that. Blinking repeatedly, he remembered how he made her judge Hyunyi’s food and the number of times Seungkwon told him Yiseo was just giving Hyunyi a hard time out of spite. He knew all too well it isn’t true but tasting Yiseo’s cooking opened his eyes to a perfectly different perspective. 

This must be why she’s well-versed in the kitchen. Saeroyi began recalling the times he often walked in on them where Yiseo was instructing Hyunyi which ingredients to get in place of the usual ones they used. Her judgment with Hyunyi’s food weren’t just subjective. It was with skill and knowledge in cooking. 

Gazing at Yiseo in awe, he thought of when she would stop at surprising him with how entirely good she is. The intimidating aura she gives off has a backbone to it. She’s just that good.

“That’s better” Yiseo muttered as she went and grabbed some more ingredients from their storage. 

“What?” 

“How you look now is much better than earlier. You look like you just realized something amazing” putting another pan on the stove she looked at him smugly. “Is it because you’re surprised that I know how to cook?” 

“Yes” he admitted. She started working again and Saeroyi scanned the ingredients she laid out. “You’re making Japchae?” Yiseo nodded her head and started prepping the ingredients. 

“This will be done just in time with the stew” she said, unaware of the thought that’s crossing Saeroyi’s mind. Her back on him, she focused her full attention on cooking. She was mixing the seasoning and not a second later he’s already beside her, wearing plastic gloves. 

“I’ll just help prepping these and won’t meddle further,” he said. Perfectly burying the anticipation from his tone, he stole quick glances at how she’s marinating some of the ingredients.

“Alright, then. It’d be much faster with two pair of hands working anyway” she replied. “Besides, I’m already starving.”  

“Yeah I know, even dogs can hear your stomach grumbling.” 

“Then you must’ve heard it loud and clear” she retorted and he laughed, nudging her on the side. 

“That’s a good one” he said. “Let’s have some samgyupsal too. I’m suddenly craving for it.” 

She looked at him briefly probably to see if he’s serious. “Call,” Yiseo agreed enthusiastically. “You know it’s all good with soju, right?” 

“Exactly” he said, his tone light and he didn’t even have to look to know the amused smirk in Yiseo’s face. 

Time always passed much faster when they’re together as they lost themselves with their own thoughts, the silence comfortable enough between them. Hidden smiles emerge and neither one of them realizes it. Stealing glances of her in each passing second, Saeroyi pursed his lips, lowering his head. 

“By the way, you were right” 

“Hmm?” 

“You’re right. I do feel sorry,” he repeated. His voice so low he started doubting she heard him when she didn’t respond. It might be much better if she didn’t hear him, he thought. “I’m sorry Yiseo. With what happened at the broadcasting company, just know that it isn’t your fault so don’t think that you made a mistake or what. You did great. You really did.” 

It’s a good thing his hands are busy because he has something to pretend to be occupied about. His eyes glued at the marinated meat he’s stir-frying, he had an excuse not to look at her directly. 

“Whose fault is it then?” she said and he sensed the change in her tone. 

Feeling the hole Yiseo’s drilling at the side of his head, he kept his mouth shut. Whose fault is it really? Wouldn’t it be too easy to point finger at Geunwon? Could he blame the unsparing hands of the one who tied Saeroyi’s path to his? Or would it be wrong? If so, then who else could he blame but himself? 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she cut the silence between them. “What happened at the broadcasting company...” she started, “...is it something I shouldn’t know about? It’s something I should stay out of?” 
 

Is it, really? Saeroyi asked himself. He isn’t sure. Not knowing what to say, he shifted his head to his right and met her eyes. He opened his mouth to get some words out but there’s really nothing. Yiseo’s features started to soften and he wondered what she must’ve seen in his face. He didn’t know how his eyes are looking at her right now nor what she sees in them but she’s gazing at him with much... care. 

 

“It’s alright, I understand. We’re not that close yet and I know you don’t trust me that much for you to tell me about these things,” placing a hand on his arm, she sighed. “But you could always tell me. Before exhaustion catches up on you, you can spill it bit by bit and I’m just gonna listen. I’m not even gonna talk or interrupt” she shrugged but didn’t smile. “I’m just willing to share the load. Nobody’s strong enough when alone after all.”

It was warm. The feeling that crept within his chest was warm. Who would’ve known that a seemingly cold person could warm other people’s heart with just words? He had a lot to say, so many words he wished he could express but he remained speechless. He’s very good with words, she said. But how come when it’s her, he becomes a tight-lipped child? 

He couldn’t get a word out. He couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to. Instead, with a small smile plastered on his face, he caressed her hair. Hoping it’s enough to get his message across, he allowed his eyes to linger on her face much longer. After a few more seconds, Yiseo pulled his arm and held it down. She’s wearing a serious look on her face and he couldn’t help but meet her strong gaze.

“Just to give you a fair warning boss, I tend to be impatient and the day will come where not knowing is already at the brink of causing my death. Being clueless is gonna kill me especially if there’s gonna be instances like this again. I hate being blindsided the most and if—I’m saying if, okay?— If we’re at some kind of... fight, it’d be better if I know what I’m stepping into. So, I might pester—no, not that one but a much kinder version of it... hmm, ask—yes, I might ask again and I hope that when the day comes you’d trust me enough to tell me.” 

And there she is. The Yiseo she’s more familiar with. Letting out a chuckle, he knew better than say no to her. He isn’t even gonna say no. He knew one day he’d tell her. It was bound to happen anyway, she’s gonna know one way or another. After all, she’s smart and highly intuitive. He nodded his head and she appeared to be in a much better mood. She smiled at him and he gladly returned it. 

Finally done with both dishes, Saeroyi started setting their table as Yiseo prepared side dishes for them. With a few bottles of soju accompanying them, their long night filled with banterings, meaningless jokes, occasional deep conversations, and even more banterings, began. 

Who knew a day so bad could still end in a good note? Well he didn’t know that but here he is now, spending the night in ease. He’d make the most out of it and enjoy himself, Saeroyi thought, cause tomorrow’s the day where things will begin to change. He can feel it. 

Eyeing the glass of soju in his hand, he felt the new strong sense of bravery filling him. He downed it in one gulp the same way he’s gonna face whatever comes his way, head-on.