Sakura doesn’t remember how she got here, but she woke up finding herself in the embrace of Chaeyeon.

She checks the clock and her eyes nearly double their size at how early it is. Nevertheless, she decides to start her day. She realizes that with Eunbi in her mind first thing in the morning, she for sure, cannot go back to sleep. She slowly slips out of Chaeyeon's arms and lightly leaves the bed praying that she doesn’t wake the younger girl up. As she goes out, there’s a girl already out on the porch drinking out of a sprite can. She instantly knows.

She quietly grabs a can of Milkis out of the fridge like a rat in the dark and plans to remain meters away from the older girl by staying in the kitchen. However, a voice calls out to her.

“Kkura, come join me here.” 

And she does, even if her steps are heavy as she approaches the porch. Eunbi sits in her usual position, her knees folded to meet her chest level. She doesn’t look at Sakura, who sits on the one other seat, positioned about a foot away from hers. They both stare at the sea past the mid-level fence separating them from the beach. The morning is a foggy and cloudy one, with sea waves at high tides and rough crashes to the shore. It’s how she understands her older friend, who she’s seen more than that for years. Eunbi on a surface level is hard to understand. Sometimes appearing consistent and calm, yet she has waves. Waves that keep crashing the shore and are able to do that even under the surface that seems so mysterious and calm. 

Just as she expects, Eunbi has something boiling in her again… something that begs to summate, but only crashes into the shore repeatedly and returns into the sea. No matter how many times Eunbi fights, it seems like her words always boil down to her inner battles.

“Chaeyeon.” Eunbi simply says after what felt like an eternity of silence. Sakura jolts her head at the name. She was midway through a sip of Milkis. Eunbi finishes her sip of Sprite. She finally manages to meet Sakura’s eyes, “She cares for you. You see that, right?”

Do you see me, Eunbi?

Sakura internally rolls her eyes, but only confusion remains. She breaks eye contact and watches the waves, but doesn’t really watch them. Her gaze unfocuses. What does Chaeyeon have to do with anything?

“Yes. She’s nice to me.”

Eunbi nods and there’s a breeze from the sea that hits them. Hard. Sakura glances at her out of worry because the latter is only wearing a simple yellow oversized tee. Eunbi indeed pulls her legs closer to her chest and shivers a little, “She is nice. I think she deserves all the love she can get.”

“... So I’m asking you, Kkura.”

Eunbi coughs and sniffles. It seems like the cold is making her a little sick. Sakura takes off her cardigan and wraps it around the older girl, but the girl holds her wrist, stopping her midway. 

“Kkura, I… Please don’t hurt her. It shouldn’t come from me, but we… whatever you did last night. That was nothing. You don’t like me like that. Well, let me rephrase that… You hate me, don’t you?” Eunbi’s voice sounds so tiny like she’s pleading, but also like she’s convincing something. Someone. Is she convincing Sakura, or herself? Maybe both? Sakura’s mind starts to whirl because pain rises again. As if she thinks the waves can no longer hurt her, they keep crashing and the impact will always be the same. Every crash hurts just like it did years ago.

“I don’t. I never hated you.”

Eunbi seems to be taken aback by her statement, but she maintains her usual expression that speaks volumes of independence, “Okay, well… Whatever you feel for me, it’s none of my business. Hate me, love me, but Kkura… Please don’t hurt Chaeyeon. Let’s settle whatever was behind us for the sake of the team. Chaeyeon, you, me… We’re graduating in a couple of months. I want this semester to be the best for us.”

Sakura’s cardigan remains hanging in the air, lightly swaying against the wind. What about me, Eunbi? Have you ever thought about if I were hurting? She wonders if this is what it feels like to be rejected. For so many years, Sakura tried hard to hide her feelings. She worried to ruin the friendship, but that’s not the only thing she worried about. She feared the consequences of losing Eunbi. She knew losing Eunbi would mean losing herself and she knew the only way out was finding love within herself. For so many years, Sakura ran; she supported Eunbi with her lips only allowing so much to leave. And now, after Sakura has decided to let go of this fear, the reason for everything still manages to break down all those gates she built for herself. It was all so unfair. Eunbi doesn’t get to do this without even knowing how she’s lived for the last three years.

“I won’t hurt her.”

…

After that morning, Sakura left to take a walk by herself around the vicinity. She also decided to explore some small shops with handmade souvenirs on the same street as their penthouse. Eunbi remained seated outside, still covered in goosebumps. After coughing and sniffing for ten minutes straight, she decides to finally go back inside and warm up. Her chest starts to hurt and she knows it’s partly due to the carbonated drink she finished in the span of twenty minutes, but has a feeling that Sakura’s gaze at her left a bigger impression on her than she hoped. She decides to go knock on Yena’s room, feeling stuck and knowing that sometimes, she just needs a second opinion.

Yet, it doesn’t help when Yena, who woke up about three minutes ago, yells “You said WHAT?” in her face. Thankfully Minju is a heavy sleeper so she simply stirs in her sleep, but shows no signs of consciousness.

“What, that’s not the point… The point is that I think Sakura doesn’t understand. I mean, it seemed like she was still stuck on… last night. We were both drunk so I think it’s safe to say that what happened should’ve stayed in the past.” Eunbi sighed. 

“Hold up, unnie, what really happened between you two?”

“What do you mean?” Eunbi sighs, her head feeling cloudy as ever. Yena sits up on her bunk bed and Eunbi remains seated at the edge of it, near her feet. Yena seems awake, which is miraculous considering the earliness of their conversation and how the sun isn’t even out. Yena bites her lip, “Like… are you sure? Are you sure there were no feelings involved?”

“Yes, Yena. I would know. She never considered it out loud and whenever I asked about it, well… She seemed indifferent. It’s like debating whether or not paying to change a game character’s hair color was more interesting than hypothetically if we were to be in love.”

“Of course she wouldn’t be vocal about it! Eunbi, erhm, Eunbi unnie… If you had a crush, would you say it out loud?”

Eu