Trigger Warning:
Very angsty and mentions of an accident and depression.

It does end well, don't worry! Enjoy this first one-shot, ViSeul centered.

It's based on Ailee's 'Sweater', I'd recommend listening to it while reading :)

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Wish I had worn something warmer

 

Vivi sighs into the cold evening air. Her breath fogs up, twirling in front of her. Shivering, she wraps her arms around herself, braving through the snow-covered streets. Christmas lights are strung up everywhere, lighting up the dark sky above. Smiling families are seen everywhere, on their way to christmas dinner no doubt. Vivi’s eyes focus on the road ahead, careful not to slip and fall on the patches of ice. The longer she walks, the colder the evening seems to be getting.

 

Baby it’s cold out in the snow

 

She wishes she would’ve stayed home. She can’t bring herself to be joyful for the holiday season anyway, but her friends insisted that she join them for dinner. She can only blame herself and her soft spot for them anyway. Blinking, she stops at a crossing. On her right, an empty park is lit up by a few string lights and a neon sign with ‘ Merry Christmas’ displayed on it in bright red. She twitches in place. She hasn’t gone to the park in a long time.

 

It doesn’t feel like Christmas when you’re not with me

 

‘Come on, it’s not that slippery!’ She laughs as she watches her fall on her 2 seconds later. ‘Vivi, stop laughing and come help me up!’ Chuckling to herself, she carefully steps closer to pick the younger girl up. ‘Don’t worry I’ve got you.’

 

She blinks, tears in her eyes. Her feet drag her past the park slowly. Eyeing the swing set they’d spent so much time on together just last year. Sniffling, she sighs and finds herself moving towards it. Sitting down on the cold swing, she looks up at the night sky. The moon and stars are sparkling beautifully. Normally, she’d love to search for constellations and meaning in that endless sky. But now, all she sees are sparkling balls of hot gas, millions of lightyears away, mocking her empty heart.

 

Doesn’t feel like home, when I’m here alone

 

Her arms come to wrap around her again, as she shivers and moves on from the swing. She looks back one last time, the shadow of a past happiness making her shake. Vivi misses it. She misses her. Turning back, she slowly makes her way to the main road again. She could’ve easily taken the car or asked one of her other friends for a ride, but she felt like walking. The cold is soothing. It resonates with her, lately. She’s been cold for a while.

 

Wish I was laying on your shoulder

Imagine me wrapped up in your arms

 

‘Vivi! Wake up! We’ll be late!’ Vivi yawns, stretching her arms far above her head, hitting the headboard. ‘Late for what?’ She blinks open her eyes, met with the beautiful sight of a brown-haired small girl smiling down at her. She’s dressed and ready to go, while Vivi is still in her pyjamas. ‘Did you forget already? We’re having brunch with Jinsol and Jungeun!’ She smiles and nods, remembering their date with their friends. ‘I almost forgot.’ Instead of getting up, Vivi takes advantage of her position and pulls the younger girl into her, sighing contently. ‘Just 5 more minutes.’ She feels her scoff into her shoulder but melt into her anyway. ‘Fine… 5 minutes…’

 

It doesn’t feel like Christmas, no, without you by my side

 

Her sluggish steps slowly bring her closer to her destination. Jungeun and Jinsol’s house. They’d been there for her all this time, not allowing her to sulk on her own. She owes them a lot. It’s been a tough year and it’d be a blatant lie if Vivi says she’s not the tiniest bit relieved they invited her for Christmas dinner. Her lips tilt up slightly at the sight of a large owl with a Christmas hat on the Jung’s front lawn. That must’ve been Jinsol’s idea. A small white dove coos in the tree above her as she turns towards their house. She eyes it for a moment, a heavy feeling settling on her chest.

 

Even though we’re miles apart,

I’ll keep you in my heart…

 

‘I wish I could be a dove. Maybe in my next life?’ Vivi chuckles, shaking her head as they walk through the park. ‘Why? You’re terrified of birds?’ She watches her nod with a firm look on her face. ‘I wouldn’t be scared anymore, right? And I would be able to fly wherever I want.’ Vivi nods. It’s a cute thought.

 

Knocking on the door, Vivi waits patiently as she hears the ruckus inside the house. Moments later the door opens to reveal a tall raven-haired girl. ‘Vivi! Come in, it’s cold out!’ She nods in greeting and steps in, relishing in the heat of their home. Smiling, Jinsol helps take her coat from her to store in the closet for the time being. ‘I still don’t get why you didn’t ask one of us to pick you up. I know you like hiking, but it’s freezing out there!’ She smiles back slightly, rubbing her arm in thought. ‘Hey, I like your sweater. Isn’t that-’ Before she can finish, a soft cry is heard from the next room and Jinsol rushes over. ‘Come on! Soo and Jiwoo are here already!’ She follows her friend to the source of the soft cries. Jiwoo and Sooyoung are looking at the child in Jungeun’s arms with a soft frown. ‘Look, mommy’s back! She just went to get aunt Vivi!’

 

As blue as she’s been feeling, even Vivi can’t keep a straight face as she watches Jinsol wrap herself around her wife and daughter. Jungeun smiles up at her wife and kisses her cheek before turning to Vivi. ‘Vivi, I’m glad you made it.’ She nods and walks closer, greeting her and her god-daughter, Yerim. ‘Hey. Merry Christmas eve.’ Jungeun smiles at her brightly and Yerim reaches up for her. She lets her hold her hand and Vivi places a soft kiss on the child’s head. Jiwoo and Sooyoung wait patiently to greet Vivi. They know she can’t handle too much interaction at once anymore.

 

And I’ll wear your Christmas sweater on me tonight

Let it keep me warm, I’ll be wrapped up tight

So no matter where you go

A little piece of you is close

I’ll wear your Christmas sweater always

 

Sooyoung chuckles as Jiwoo tries to get up, wobbling as she does. ‘Shush, and help me greet Vivi!’ Vivi holds out a hand, letting Jiwoo know she can stay seated. Her very pregnant friend smiles gratefully and opens her arms for a hug. Vivi can’t help but oblige. There’s no denying Jiwoo, especially not a very pregnant and glowing Jiwoo. ‘Vivi. We’ve missed you.’ They haven’t seen her in a while. Vivi somehow always manages to keep herself busy with work. Barely meeting anyone. She’s been on her own a lot the past months. ‘How have you been?’ As she moves on the hug Sooyoung, the latter speaks to her gently with a knowing look. Vivi shrugs and settles beside Jiwoo as she decides she doesn’t want to let go of her hand. Jiwoo’s other hand is comfortably tucked between Sooyoung’s on her lap. 

 

Remembering back to last December

Feels like it was just yesterday

 

‘You’re due in a month, right?’ Jungeun nods in discomfort, wrapped up in Jinsol’s arms. ‘I am, wish she could hurry up though.’ Jinsol chuckles, kissing her wife’s head. ‘She’ll join us when she’s ready, love.’ Vivi smiles, cuddled up on the other couch with her. ‘Thought of any names yet?’ Jungeun and Jinsol shrug. ‘We have a few options, why? We’re always open to ideas.’ Vivi turns to her side as she frowns in thought. Her lip scrunches up with her nose cutely. ‘How about Yerim?’ Vivi, Jinsol, and Jungeun turn to her. ‘Yerim… That does sound nice.’

 

Every stitch is like a little piece of history

Even though we’re miles apart,

I’ll still keep you in my heart

 

‘Do you want to hold her?’ Vivi blinks as Jungeun walks towards her with little Yerim. The kid giggles up at her and reaches out with her little hands. She can’t believe she’s almost 1 year old already. It’s been a year already… ‘I- Sure.’ She takes Yerim into her arms and instantly the kid starts playing with her hair. ‘Bi!’ Jungeun chuckles at her daughter. ‘She’s caught us talking about you while we were planning the dinner party and I guess she likes the sound of her god-mother’s name.’ Vivi smiles, genuinely for the first time that night. The child in her arms is melting her heart, bit by bit. ‘That’s me, Yerimmie. I’m auntie Vivi.’ Taking a step back, Jungeun joins her wife in the kitchen to lay the last hands on decorating the plates for dinner. Jiwoo and Sooyoung chuckle and play along with Vivi and Yerim.

 

And I’ll wear your Christmas sweater on me tonight

Let it keep me warm, I’ll be wrapped up tight

So no matter where you go

A little piece of you is close

I’ll wear your Christmas sweater always

 

Yerim starts pointing at the figures on Vivi’s christmas sweater. Small pink deer are glittering all over the soft sweater. ‘I think she likes your sweater.’ Jiwoo chuckles as Yerim mumbles incoherently at Vivi’s sweater while smiling. ‘It’s hers, isn’t it?’ Sooyoung speaks softly, carefully, as if the wrong tone could break Vivi. It could. Vivi simply nods, focusing on the child in her arms to drown out the sad thoughts running rampant in her mind like the slowly forming blizzard outside.

 

Stitch by stitch, oh

Inch by inch, oh

Feeling close to you, after all that we’ve been through

Thread by thread, you

Wrap me up in red

Someday you’ll be here, but until then… Now

 

‘Have you heard anything about her?’ Vivi shakes her head and hands Yerim over to Jiwoo. The kid’s been reaching for her. Vivi takes the chance to walk towards the back door, needing a breath. Jinsol sighs and shakes her head at Sooyoung as she makes a move to follow their friend. Instead, Jinsol walks after her. ‘Vivi? You know she just worries about you, right? We all do.’ Vivi’s eyes brim with tears. ‘I know…’ Jinsol grabs a thick blanket from a closet in the hallway and wraps it around the 2 of them before opening the back door and stepping out with her. Vivi leans into her gratefully, breathing in the stingy cold air. It burns her airways, burns away the mental pain. ‘She wouldn’t want you to be living like this while she’s gone.’ Vivi quietly lets her tears fall, letting Jinsol comfort her.

 

I’ll wear your Christmas sweater on me tonight

Let it keep me warm, I’ll be wrapped up tight

So no matter where you go

A little piece of you is close

This old sweater feels so soft

 

Tears, it’s all Vivi can see when she opens her eyes. Her own tears, the tears of her friends and family. ‘Why can’t she stay?!’ Jinsol holds her tightly as the love of her life is wheeled out of the room carefully. ‘You heard the doctor, Vivi… Her parents want her at a better facility so she has a better chance at survival…’ It’s been a nightmare. A living nightmare. Ever since that dreadful New Year’s Eve 2 months ago. Her beloved has been in a coma, on the brink of death with no clear prospects. Her parents had never been fond of their relationship and took this opportunity to ensure their daughter’s recovery, as well as pull her away from Vivi and their ‘sinful’ friends. Crying into each other, Vivi, Sooyoung, and Jinsol cling to each other tightly. A few buildings over, a crying Jungeun is being comforted by Jiwoo. The new-born Yerim upset as she hears her mother and aunt’s cries.

 

And I’ll never take it off so I’ll…

 

‘It’s going to be okay, Vivi.’ Jinsol smiles down at her, rubbing her back as she guides them back inside. Vivi shakes her head. ‘It’s been months. They didn’t even tell us where they took her!’ As Jinsol looks at her with an apologetic smile, their doorbell rings. Vivi frowns and sniffles, turning to the noise. ‘Go ahead and take a seat in the dining room with the rest. Our final guest has finally arrived.’ She pats Vivi’s back, pushing her in the direction of the living room, taking the blanket and draping it over the stairs as she walks towards the front of the house. Still frowning, Vivi walks into the dining room, finding the rest of her friends seated already, smiling at her. Getting confused, she takes a seat. ‘Bi!’ She turns to Yerim, who’s in a cute bat-themed purple booster seat next to her mother. Another chair is empty next to her on the other side. That must be Jinsol’s spot. Jiwoo and Sooyoung are seated side by side, Sooyoung scooting closer to Jiwoo to help her wife reach everything with ease.

‘She’s finally here!’ Everyone smiles and turns to look behind them to where Jinsol’s voice is heard. They all seem ready to jump up and rush at the guest, peaking Vivi’s interest.

 

Wear your Christmas sweater from ’92

Love the way it looks and still smells like you all day

So whenever you’re away

I’ll wear your Christmas sweater

 

‘You did always look better in that sweater than me…’ Vivi’s eyes widen and she jumps out of her seat, turning as if she’s heard a ghost. She might as well have. In front of her, a small girl, her brown hair resting just above her shoulders. Large round glasses are perched atop her button nose. She looks thinner than she remembers, but she’s still the same girl she fell head over heels for. Jinsol takes a step to the side, smiling widely.

 

‘Haseul?’ Tearing up, the girl nods, taking a step towards her. ‘I’m sorry it took me so long to come home, Vi…’ Vivi instantly jumps into her arms. Both girls cry into each other, holding on tightly. Everyone around them cries as well. Tears of happiness springing from their eyes at the long-overdue reunion. After a moment, Yerim’s happy voice is heard. ‘Momma! Bi!’ She saw her hugging the stranger and decided to point it out to her mother. Jungeun nods. Vivi pulls away from Haseul and kisses her softly before turning towards the dining table, not letting go of her. ‘Seul, meet our god-daughter, Yerim.’ Everyone laughs at Haseul’s puppy-like expression. Yerim laughs along happily in her seats.

 

For the first time in almost a year, their group is complete and true happiness is shared as their long-lost friend is back, right on time for Yerim’s first Christmas. ‘Wait, Jinsol never mentioned Jiwoo is pregnant! Congrats! I should’ve brought an extra present!’ They’re right back to their old dynamic. Under the table, Vivi tightly holds on to Haseul’s hand. She doesn’t plan on ever letting go.

 

I’ll wear your Christmas sweater always