---

 

Sana mindlessly flipped through the pages of her textbook, her forehead tightly scrunched in intense concentration. As a matter of fact, she is actually deep in thought, the book acting as a cover to prevent her classmates from disturbing her peace in the library. She can’t stop thinking about the letter she found yesterday, stating of an offer to permanently work in the publishing company’s branch in South Korea. Most of the words were complicated but Sana knew from the vague translation that the privilege presented to her mother is a big deal. Her mother might be getting a raise in her pay and probably proper working hours, in contrast with her current job.

Her thoughts drift back to the days her mother would be cooking Korean meals instead of the usual bento supposedly prepared by her grandmother, a feat that deems impossible with her busy working schedule. Her mother’s cooking is decent, perhaps not the best, but she had missed the food so much that she had enjoyed it rather than complaining about the overly cooked rabokki or the salty kimbap (it was as if half of the salt had spilled from the container, mind you).

Then she remembered that one day her mother had played a song from the famous Kpop girl group in Korea. She had been singing off key while doing the driving-the-wheel dance. It was funny, but entertaining as Sana also joins in the fun. It’s one of her favourite songs, after all. There were also some instances where her mother suddenly responded to her questions with “omo” or “yah”, sometimes “jinjja” which happens quite frequently.

Yeah, now that she thinks about it, her mother had been sending her some signals before but it hadn’t occurred to her the meaning behind it.

The notion that her mother is keeping this from her doesn’t sit well with Sana. It had been bugging her a lot, she decided to seclude herself alone in the library during free time to at least have some peace of mind. Well, it doesn’t seem to occur to an airhead that she needs space as the girl takes the opposite seat with a lollipop in . Another followed suit, putting her books on the empty table while taking out the chair from Sana’s side gracefully.

They wait for the girl to notice their presence, which was useless as she’s still deeply buried in her book. They shared looks; Momo raising her brows while Mina shakes her head with the same expression. Mina gets closer, taking a glimpse of the wordings in the book, before clamping with a hand. She gestured to Momo, pointing to the book while her body shakes from laughter. Seeming to catch on, Momo’s face perks up in amusement.

“Stop laughing, Mina.” She voiced out with her eyes still on the book, “I’m trying to read here.”

“Actually, you don’t have to try so hard if it wasn’t upside down.”

Her pale complexion turns pinkish at the realization that indeed, she’s been holding the book in a wrong way. She grumbles, slamming the book shut before burying her face on the table as snickers and muffled laughter surrounds the table.

“How did you guys find me?” She mumbled, her voice barely audible with her current position.

“You stuck out like a sore thumb in here.” Momo teases with a snort. “Only Mina suits to be in the library.”

“True.” Mina agreed with a firm nod, getting another loud grumble from Sana.

“Spare me, please.” They laugh silently, but stop after seeing the frown still apparent on Sana’s face.

“What’s up with you? You’ve been gloomy since morning.” Momo voiced her concern after watching Sana acting rather indifferent that day. She thought Sana would be happy now that Mina had decided to join them again for their customary morning and evening walk, but something was amiss.

Mina leans closer, trying to catch her eyes. “Did something happen yesterday?”

Sana mulls over the options if she should tell them about her worries or not. It is still trivial; she still hasn’t had the liberty to properly translate the whole content of the letter due to the limitations of her vocabulary. Blame it on her ignorance to improve her Hangul once she started getting comfortable with her native language. Besides, it would be unwise to jump to conclusions without knowing the truth first.

“It’s my first day of period.” She blurts the first thing that came to her mind.

She groans when Momo starts her lecture of being an overly-concerned girlfriend while giving her some life-worthy tips on how to overcome the mood swings, which doesn’t stray much from the topic of food. Her expertise, of course.

 

 

*

 

 

She was crouching under the tree house in the backyard of her home, watching intently at the small little fluff ball poking its head out of the shrub by the wooden gate. She tilts her head when the furry little creature raises its ear and stops munching on the piece of carrot she had given. As if startled, it retreated back inside its hidden place, causing the little girl to pout from its disappearance.

However, it was quickly replaced with a grin when she heard a male voice calling for her name. She ran towards the man, his arms waiting for her usual body slam before twirling her around up in the air. They shared joyous laughter before the girl left a wet kiss on the man’s cheek and wrapping her small arms on his neck.

“I missed you, Papa.”

The man laughed, pinching her chubby cheek with his free hand. “I haven’t even boarded the plane yet, silly.”

“But you didn’t play with me today!”

He guffawed from his daughter’s antics. “You were the one who left after breakfast, running to the house next door and excitedly looking for her. Don’t you remember?”

She pouted deeply while crossing her arms, only to giggle cheerfully when her father tickled her side.

“Honey, your taxi is here!”

He put the little girl down and her silky dark brown hair, giving her cheeks a little squeeze with both palms just to mess with her.

“Remember your promise?”

She gave him a determined nod, “To always take care of Mama for you.”

“You’re forgetting something else.”

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, “And her. I remember that!”

“But you didn’t say it.”

“It’s too long!”

“Fine, fine... take care, Sana. Papa loves you, okay?”

 

Sana blinks her eyes a few times, slowly adjusting to the brightness in her room and taking in the surroundings. She squeezed her eyes shut again, wishing she didn’t have to wake up and stay in the dream forever. It was the second dream that week, similar to the previous one she had a few days back.

She recalls a few months after her father’s death how she’s been having these vivid recollections of her memories with her late father, only they came in the form of dreams. She had cried herself to sleep, only to wake up crying again. The same thing repeated again and again, but rather than agonizing over it, Sana treated the dreams as her blissful escapades; from the reality that her father had left, never to return.  It went on for months and she didn’t even realize when it had stopped because she never spoke about her sleep problems with anyone; not even her mother.

Sana doesn’t know what triggered it this time, but she had a hunch it had something to do with her discovery last week. She had yet to question her mother about the offer letter; she doesn’t know how to start and not spoil the mood. She is trying to find the perfect timing, soon. For now, she needs to confide in someone about this. Someone with a clear head and rational judgement.

She patiently waits outside of the student council room, absentmindedly on a leaf of the huge plant beside the door. She wonders if it was misplaced by the school gardener, or had been donated by a generous teacher who’s trying to throw away this eye sore from his house, because it definitely doesn’t belong here.

All alone, in this empty hallway, having no importance to anyone, or rather, being a nuisance for blocking the way instead.

“What are you doing?”

Mina gives her a judging look from the way Sana had been lovingly the plastic leaf, which the latter responded with a lazy grin.

“Took you long enough.” She pushed herself off the wall. “I was entertaining myself with the plant.”

“If it wasn’t made of plastic, I would have believed they planted weed in that pot.”

“Wow, Myoui-san is getting overworked over a decoration.”

“I’ve been stuck with you guys for years. I guess your crazy thoughts are rubbing me off in a bad way.”

Sana lets out a small chuckle, which surprised Mina. Usually Sana would let out a big laugh showing her teeth, but not this time. She is aware Sana had been acting weird; she doesn’t have the same usual liveliness. She had actually believed it was because of the hormonal imbalance, as claimed, added with the stress of studying and whatnots. Now, she’s not so sure anymore.

“Something’s bothering you.”

“Hm?”

“You were waiting for me instead of watching Momo’s practice. That usually means trouble.”

“Hey!” She shoves Mina lightly, earning a light giggle from the girl. “I guess I can’t escape from your keen observation, huh?”

Sana begins retelling the day she found the letter and the content while Mina calmly listens, nodding to every detail like the good listener she is. She avoided the problems regarding her dreams. She can handle it fine as it’s not really bothering her sleep cycle at the moment, and if it is true she’s having this same dream due to over thinking about the letter, then the solution is already in her mind.

“Have you asked your mother?”

“No.” Sana shakes her head, “I’m not sure how to bring it up. I mean, it might have been a misunderstanding or mistranslation from me. My Korean has been out of form since I came here. It could be an old letter instead or she’s just translating for someone else since she is working as a translator or it might be a recycle paper she accidentally brought back home because you know she is kind of –“

“Hey.” Mina gently grabs her arm, startling the talking girl. “You’re rambling.”

“Sorry.” She winced at the slip up before sighing with an apologetic look, only to feel a squeeze on her arm.

“You should really ask her.” Mina suggested with an encouraging smile. “That’s the only solution I can give you.”

Taking Mina’s advice to heart, Sana decided it would be best to confront her mother as soon as possible. It’s not that she hadn’t thought about it but she needs some sort of a push from someone she trusted and she is thankful Mina knows just what to do.

Sunday came and her mother had taken a leave after sacrificing her one day holiday last week for a sudden live news broadcast that needed her as a translator. Her grandmother had left before sunrise to tend to her grocery shop so it’s the perfect opportunity to engage in a quiet conversation with her mother without any interruption. Sana peeks through the small slit of her bedroom, catching her mother by the stove cooking eggs for breakfast. With small steps, she approaches the woman clad in an apron before offering to help.

“What do you want to drink today, Mama?”

She noticed the weird glance directed to her, but ignored it as she reached for her mother’s mug.

“Tea would be fine.”

“Chamomile?”

Sana suggested, knowing how it has a calming effect for her mother, perfect for their conversation later. She received a nod and a smile, gladly preparing for the drink. She drools at the sight of sunny-side up eggs on top of the fluffy, warm white rice with miso soup and dried anchovies as a side dish.

“I’m sorry this is all I can prepare.”

“Mama, I’m already happy I have food for breakfast.” She beams, “I kinda miss your cooking, too.”

“Even if it’s just fried eggs?”

“A perfectly fried sunny side up eggs!” Sana exclaimed with a giggle, her mother following suit.

“How are you, Mama?”

“Eh?” Her eyes widened from the question before she put a hand on her chest. “My daughter is asking about me? She has really grown up!”

Sana rolled her eyes from her mother’s dramatic fake crying, a smile playing on her lips. She might look like a strict mother who likes to nag a lot, but she can be funny and be lively at times too. It was one of her mother’s charms which had her father fall in love with the woman. An independent, witty lady with a big heart who likes to randomly be (cutely) funny.

“You’ve been getting home a lot later than usual, and you look... tired.” Sana glanced up from her bowl with a slight frown, “I’m just wondering if you’re doing fine, Mama.”

The woman in question feels a pang in her chest, feeling proud and a bit sad that her daughter had really grown up, becoming the considerate and caring young girl she is. Truth to be told, she was indeed feeling a bit under the weather. The company has been trying to rush on the deadlines, forcing the translator’s team to give all their best to finish everything within the time set for the next publication. She had started to feel the effect of having to sit for hours in front of a small computer, her back getting more painful along with the numbness around her wrist. She puts on the best smile she could muster to reassure Sana that everything is under control.

“I’ve been working overtime but they promised a bonus by the end of the month so I need to work harder.”

She received a concerned stare instead.

“It’s really fun and the content for next month’s edition is really interesting. There’s nothing to worry about.” She explains excitedly, hoping it would lessen Sana’s worry of her workload.

However, she doesn’t expect to be abruptly asked with the next question.

“Do you miss Korea?”

“Well...” She stops, thinking of the appropriate words and sentences to say. Maybe she needs to be a bit honest with Sana, considering her daughter is already matured enough to listen to her inner struggles. She puts down the bowl, reaching for the mug and taking a sip while gathering her thoughts.

“I do miss Korea. It was my second home after my hometown, and also the place where I met your father.” A smile plays on her lips, affecting Sana as well at the mention of her late father. “You also grew up over there, so there are a lot of precious memories in that place. But life moves on, Sana. I need to move on, and keep moving forward for the both of us. It will be a piece of our shared memories, your father and I, that had been left behind but I have a life here now, together with you. I would love to be back there, someday... when the right time comes.”

She sees the sadness in her mother’s eyes, how she tries so hard to hide the loneliness and silent grieving. It had been years, but it’s not enough for her mother to let go and accept the loss of the man she loves. She feels it too, how a piece of her went missing as the days go by but it must be harder for her mother, losing a partner who means the world to her.

“What if the right time is now?”

“Eh...?” The woman gives her daughter a confused look, “What are you saying, Sana?”

She bit her lip in guilt, and decided to come clean. It’s now or never, she thought.

“I’m sorry for touching your things, Mama... but I saw the offer letter.”

Her mother blinks twice, “What?”

She sighs, dropping her chopsticks on the table and straightening her back. “I saw the letter when I was cleaning the shelves. You got an offer to work in South Korea, right?”

She watches her mother gulping nervously, taking another long sip of the already stale tea, probably an attempt to calm her nerves. So she was correct all along, and her mother is hiding it from her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s not really important. You don’t have to know.”

Her eyebrows scrunched from the plain reply. “Why? You think I can’t understand what you’ve been going through to feed me and pay for my school fee? I’m not a kid anymore, Mama –”

“Because you’re happy here!”

Sana was stunned with her mother’s raised voice. The woman stood up, taking careful steps to her daughter before kneeling to her level. She grabbed Sana’s hands, prompting the girl to look at her.

“I don’t care what the job offers, Sana. All I care about is your happiness.” She smiled, squeezing her hands to affirm the girl of her decision. “I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again by making rash decisions on my own.”

The young girl softens her gaze with the reason her mother gave. “What’s the offer?”

Her mother paused, closing her eyes while exhaling air from her nose. “They’re giving me the Head Editor position.”

“What?” Sana gasped, surprised with her mother’s promotion of getting one of the highest positions in the company. “Mama, why did you refuse that?!”

“Sana, calm down. I haven’t decided on anything yet. They give me until the end of this month, so it’s enough time to think about it.”

“But why?”

“Like I said,” She her daughter’s head affectionately, pushing a stray hair behind her ear. “You are my priority, Sana. We will go there when the time is right, and when you are ready.”

 

 

*

 

 

“So, she’s basically dropping the burden on you.”

“I hate that I have to agree with you on this.”

They are sitting on the usual spot for their lunch break, except it was already the end of school hour. Mina is casually sitting on the ground with her head leaned back on the brick wall, while Sana is anxiously pacing in front of her. She had intended to do a light study in the library after her supposedly meeting with the student council committees was cancelled abruptly. Momo is still in her volleyball practice and since she had specifically made a promise to the star player that she’s not going to miss walking back home together in exchange for an ice cream treat, she decided to stay back. Only to be hunted by an overly excited Sana who was glad to find her on the way to the library before dragging her to this place. Her eyes followed Sana’s repetitive movement for a while before she got dizzy and turned her gaze to the sky above.

“I can’t understand.” Sana huffed loudly, “Why would I be involved in making the decision?”

“It is a lifetime decision, Sana. She doesn’t want you to feel left out, I suppose.”

“Yeah, right... I’m not a child.”

“But it is important that you have a say in this too. Like you said, you’re not a child so you have the right to make a decision for your own sake.”

“I guess...”

The corner of her lips quirks up from the distressed face of her friend which she found cute. “Your mother might not want to repeat the same mistake. You did say before that you were reluctant to live here at first because it was too sudden and she never listens to you.”

“Yeah, but that was before I met you guys!”

“Oh, so we were the reason you stayed?” Mina gives her a teasing smirk.

“You wish.” Sana kicks a small pebble towards the laughing girl with an annoyed face, albeit the subtle smile playing on her lips. “Maybe because I see my mother’s effort to keep everything the same as before, and make sure we can live like a normal family. I just thought I have to do my best to show her that I can take care of myself, too.”

Mina stills for a few seconds, before looking up with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows. “Maybe that’s the part that she understands but you don’t.”

“Huh?”

“That she has you to trust and rely on instead.”

The words hit her like a sudden revelation, opening her muddled mind to the possibility that her mother is having faith in her. She is having faith that Sana would do what is best for the both of them and she will support her in everything.

“You don’t have anyone except each other, Sana.” Mina pulls the solemn girl to her side, linking their arms together to provide her with some kind of consolation. “She needs you as much as you need her.”

“Wow.” Sana breathes out in wonder. “Did you know you just blew my mind with your explanation?”

Mina shrugs, not quite sure herself. “I just twist your own words to something more simple? If that makes sense...”

“Are you sure you’re not a witch in disguise, Mi-chan?” She gives Mina a suspicious look, which the latter responded with a roll of her eyes.

“Why did you come to me, though?”

“Ehhh?” Sana deliberately pouts before leaning closer with their arms still linked together. “I can’t come to you complaining about my worries now? I thought we’re friends, Mi-chann!”

Mina giggles from Sana’s smooching attack, pushing a palm to the kissing monster’s face to stop her advances.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being your personal counsellor.” Mina gently flicks her forehead, “But shouldn’t you be talking to Momo about this?”

Sana stops her teasing and pulls away, her finger unconsciously rubbing her nose as she thinks of an answer for that question. The most complicated question she had ever encountered aside from the mathematics quiz last week.

“I just... I don’t know. I don’t feel like telling her about this.”

“Sana, she’s your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, Mina’s right.” Momo suddenly appeared from the corner, her arms folded together with a scorn apparent on her face. “You shouldn’t keep secrets from your girlfriend, Sana.”

“Momo?”

Both of them stood in shock, their expressions mirroring each other. Momo just jumps on them out of nowhere and she’s fuming, her eyes red from anger.

“What are you doing here?” Sana asked.

“I should be the one asking you that.” Sana sees how she clenches her jaw, trying to control her rage. “How long has it been?”

“What? What are you talking-"

“Oh, stop acting innocent, Sana. You think I didn’t notice the times you’ve been seeing each other behind my back?”

Sana glares back, not liking the implication coming from Momo’s mouth. “I don’t see any wrong with that. She’s my friend, Momo! Our friend!”

“Friends don’t necessarily spend time together without telling the other about it!”

“What? You...” Sana let out an audible gasp. “Are you jealous, Momo?”

“That’s ridiculous!” Momo scoffed. “Why would I be jealous of you two?”

“Then why are you shouting at us like a mad man?”

“Because you’re spending more time with Mina and keeping things from me!”

“Momo, I don’t understa-"

“Why don’t you date Mina instead, huh?! You like her, don’t you?”

Sana was rendered speechless, mimicking a fish in the water as she tried to form words to counter back. However, their attention shifted towards the sound of shoes running away from the scene. She could only watch helplessly at the disappearing figure of Mina’s back. She turns to Momo with a glare, her head shaking in disapproval.

“Nice move, Momo. You did it again.”

“Why am I the one being blamed here?!”

“You wanna know why?” Sana takes a step forward, “Because of the way you’re acting, Momo!”

“What? I don’t get it-"

“Exactly! You don’t get it because you never try to!” Sana pushes a finger to her shoulder, the girl stumbling back but stands her ground again. “You always use your emotions first, before thinking of the consequences of your actions! You’re so selfish, Momo!”

“Hey! You’re the one who’s being selfish right now! You’re never honest with your feelings just because you don’t want to hurt yourself. But you don’t know you’re hurting others when you’re acting like this, Sana!”

She grimaced, her face apparent with confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you’re willingly accepting my feelings when it’s obvious you like someone else!”

“Wha-... What do you mean?”

Momo takes a deep breath before letting the air out with a loud huff. “Forget it.”

Without waiting for her response, Momo turns on her heel and walks away, leaving the still dumbfounded girl to her own thoughts. Sana was still puzzled with what Momo said to her but her legs already have a mind of its own as she follows the trails of the scampering penguin. She had managed to bump into Mina at the entrance of the building, probably about to leave with a bag on her shoulder and teary eyes.

“Mina...” Sana approached the girl, taking her hand carefully. “I’m sorry for what Momo did. I don’t think she meant everything-"

“Stop it.”

“Listen, Mina-"

“I said stop it!” She shouted while harshly pulling her hand away from Sana’s gentle grip. “Stop apologizing for others and admit it was your fault instead!”

“W-What are you...”

“Things would have been better if you hadn’t appeared!”

It’s like a big boulder had fallen on top of her, the weight crushing her body and heart from the devastating truth. Her face fallen, her lips quivering, her fists clenching instinctively as she tries to keep her emotions in control. Mina’s anger quickly faltered to a guilty one as she had barely grasped what she had done, or said.

“Sana, I’m sorry-"

Sana quickly shakes her head, Mina’s heart breaking from the sad smile of the always lively girl. “It’s fine.”

“No, I didn’t mean it, Sana.” She grabs Sana’s arm forcefully, before the latter could escape and run away from her explanation. “It was just a spur of the moment, Sa-chan. I-I didn’t mean for the words to come out like that...”

“Tell me honestly.” Sana said, still with a smile on her face as she forces Mina to look into her eyes. The latter is dreading the way Sana deeply stares into her orbs, as if trying to read through her thoughts and heart. She is afraid if Sana could read her, could read the deepest secret of her heart that no one knows of. The secret that had made her drown in guilt and cried in sorrow each night.

“What is it?” She slightly quivers in hesitation.

“It’s what you really feel, maybe not always, but at one point you do feel like that... isn’t it?”

 

 

*

 

 

Sana had awakened in the middle of the night, having the same dream again for the third time that month. She hates how drained she feels in the morning, the disturbed sleep not having any effect at all to refresh her mind to a clear state. She had received permission from her mother to skip school that day, the woman was surprised to see the poor state of her daughter with her pale appearance and puffy eyes.

“I’m taking the day off.”

“Eh? Mama, you don’t have to. I’m not sick-"

“Hush. I need a short break anyway.” She warmly smiles at her daughter, patting her head before leaving the room to make a few calls to Sana’s school and her company.

The girl walks out to the living room, sluggishly dragging her feet along the tatami floor, only to absentmindedly bump onto a shelf from her drowsy state, causing some of the things to fall down. She winced from the sharp pain on her arm, rubbing it slowly to ease the pain before her gaze fell on the conspicuous letter among the clutters of things that had fallen. She picks it up gingerly, her eyebrows furrowing as she reads it again, this time with sheer concentration.

There’s nothing new, it is the same offer letter she had found that day. But this time she caught the bold date written at the bottom of it, and her eyes widened. Her chest suddenly feels heavy, her mind replaying again the incidents that had occurred. She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, only to see the face of her father smiling.

 

“Remember, Sana... take care of your Mama for me, will you?”

 

Her eyes snapped open, the dateline is the first thing she sees. She feels like it was a sign all along; that she doesn’t have to think so hard after all, that she already knows what she needs to do, that things happen for a reason.

Her mother rushed to her side after seeing Sana crouched on the floor, silently holding a letter.

“Are you alright, Sana? What happened?”

Sana raises her head, catching her mother in shock from the tears silently flowing down her face.

“Oh, Sana.” She quickly pulls her crying daughter into a hug, trying to comfort the young girl who clearly looks distressed instead of being in pain.

“Mama?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I’m ready.” Sana swallowed, the words coming out in chokes. “L-Let’s go back.”

 

 

 

---

A/N:

We've come to an end to the MiSaMo arc, it seems... or is it? What do you think? There's still many questions unanswered, right? We'll get to that later *smirking evilly* Someone will do a comeback next chapter with her new friends, so please anticipate!!

If there's a mimo reader here, do check out my Yakuza/Ninja AU !!

Thank you for reading and much love from me to my loyal readers!!! Take care and hope you have a nice week! ^^