The gentle waves of the sea lapped at his ankles, the fresh breeze chipping away at his emotions. Donghae was right; Mokpo was beautiful. It was fairly easy to come here, though it wouldn’t be the first place they would look. For a brief moment, he wonders what it would be like to come here with s- the entire family. But tonight , he’ll put those thoughts at the back of his mind. 

He finds an open bed and breakfast place, a quaint house where the host didn’t fuss over recognizing him. The host offers a list of must-see places, some which Donghae and Donghwa had previously mentioned to them. It was quiet here too, albeit much different from the lonely quiet he was used to.

He woke up early in the morning, watching the sunrise which he had not been able to appreciate for so long. He goes back to the house, slowly eating the breakfast the host had prepared, even engaging in a conversation. It had been a while since he’s had a day as stress-free as this, and his feelings turn wistful.

Is this what happiness feels like?

He set off to hike Yudal Mountain, paying respect to the monument of Admiral Yi Sunshin on the way. He takes photos of the view, visualizing Kyuhyun complaining on the way up but enjoying anyway, Ryeowook with his visor cap, even Yesung pausing them to go on live for their ELF. A soft smile blooms on his face, and he decides to take a selfie. Perhaps he’ll send it to their group chat later, when he’s healed.

He finds a spot on the pavilion, observing small groups of ahjumma and ahjussi come and go. Some of them recognize him, giving him some snacks and posing for pictures. He obliges, but only when they promise not to post it on social media until the following week.

He doesn’t have a definite plan. Where to stay after today and for how long were things he figured he’d worry about later. This trip was to detoxify himself from those thoughts and emotions. A mental health break, if you will.

He doesn’t regret being in Super Junior. A lot of the best days in his life had been because of the group, the members. He loves them as much as he imagined he could love other people. That was why he needed this break- he realized he’s lost sense of himself. 

What was he without Super Junior? Did he exist aside from them?