Knock knock.

“You're up in five.”

He smiles to the staff and thanks the make-up artist, making his way to the stage. Just another ordinary day. Just another day of making sure his smiles are wide enough, his wit sharp enough, and his responses genuine enough. 

Nobody can find out.

He considered it his greatest skill, one the years had made him proficient at. He almost fooled himself, made him think this was really what he wanted in life.

And that’s what breaks him. 

It starts off small. A few not-so-whispered words, a comment he accidentally reads, a sliver of doubt on his skills. It made him feel small, made him realize his imperfections were on display for everyone. 

He hadn’t perfected the skill after all.

The shadows creep up to him, threatening to overwhelm him, to drown him. Little by little, he unknowingly submerges himself and lets the cracks show. 

The world isn’t kind enough to ignore it.

The comments grow harsher, some even coming from their own fans. A betrayal? But wasn’t he the one who betrayed them first by continuing to pretend? They didn’t even know the real him because he didn’t let them in. 

The members can’t know.

That was his only goal. To fool your enemies, you must first fool the people closest to you. If not to protect himself, but to protect them.

Half of their life had been dedicated to their group, and it would take a monster to destroy that. He vowed not to become that monster, and to keep holding on, even by a thread, one day at a time. A small sacrifice, to keep the people he loved from being the wiser.

A small sacrifice of his heart and sanity.

None of the members were selfish. He knew that if any one got a whiff of his thoughts, they would help him, no questions asked. But it felt like too much sometimes, knowing their support was there and refusing to he selfish enough to ask for it. He would be strong for everyone, and keep smiling through the thunderstorms.

He has to.