Months forward, after running once again on the same circle— they found theirselves back on the same spot, the same scenario with Irene was humming softly to the tune of the song being played on the radio. Wendy with her eyes on the road then quickly glancing at the time, 10:30 pm. There it was again, the uncomfortable silence.

“So Lisa and Roseanne went ahead huh.” Wendy initiated a conversation.

She recalls Lisa being restless the past two weeks, which got Jisoo, Seulgi, and Wendy worried, but who would have thought that the reason for that was because Lisa was ready to pop that question. After they announced the news over a small dinner gathering at the Manoban’s villa, everyone gushed and congratulated the newly-engaged couple. Seulgi bawled her eyes out after the announcement, saying that she’s very happy knowing that Lisa won’t grow old alone. Jisoo, the crackhead that she is, shared to the group that she never thought Lisa would be the first one to get engaged— or even get married at all. As for Wendy, she smiled, hugged Rosé and Lisa, admittedly envious of the two.

“I’m happy for them.” Irene said, letting her gaze drop to her ring finger. Irene tries to imagine what would it be like to wear a silver band on it as her mind drives her back again to that dinner— she’s reminded of that glow in Rosé’s eyes everytime she looks at her engagement ring. Then she shifts her gaze to Wendy, “They asked, Wen.”

“Our friends asked about what?”

“Not our friends. Remember that business convention I attended a week ago with my parents? Well, most of their close friends were there. Mom, dad, and the others asked me about us...” Irene took a pause and whispered, “and marriage.”

Wendy stiffened for a split second. She cleared afterwards. “What did you say then?”

Irene her lips, “I told them that we are discussing it.”

“Discussing what? Marriage?” Wendy laughed, it was dry, humorless, and it felt painful to hear. Not once did Irene and her ever brought up marriage, it was something they refrain from talking about. Wendy scoffs, gripping the steering wheel. “Until when are we playing this, Joohyun? Until when till am I finally free of this charade?”

“I did not know what to say, Seungwan.” Irene replied with tiredness lacing around her tone. “My parents were there! Pops was there! and I did not want them to—“

“Here you go again.” Wendy cut her off, obviously growing frustrated. “It’s always about that! Hyun, when are you going to stop caring about what other people think? When are you going to stop obsessing over that?”

Irene felt small. She balled her right hand into a fist, “Well, I wouldn’t have to lie if we actually made this relationship work!” her volume increasing, again with her own defense mechanism, “If only you placed your head on making this work!”

Here was Irene again, must be her defense mechanism, Wendy thought. The moment she gets pinned of something, she turn things around, pointing the blame back at Wendy. Wendy abruptly stepped on brake, pulling the handbrake, now turning to Irene. She sees the hurt in Irene’s eyes that seem to reflect her own, and maybe, a part of her still wants to take that away, to engulf Irene in a tight hug and then they’d be back from the very start again: they’ll make-up, and start telling each other promises.

Seulgi took the cigarette off Wendy’s hand. She sat across Wendy at the coffee table, they were at Seulgi’s condo unit, she begins to scan Wendy and Seulgi could only shake her head at how much of a mess Wendy looks right now. Seulgi slid the glass of water towards Wendy. She cleared , “Not that I don’t want you here but, Wendy, you can’t just come crashing in here at goddamn 2 in the morning.”

Wendy rolled her eyes, “I bet you were just about to go to sleep.”

That was true, she just finished making a proposal and was about to enjoy some good sleep until Wendy knocked on her door. The architect sighs, “This is getting more frequent, Wan. What’s really going on?”

Seulgi notices Wendy zoning out again, her bestfriend staring at the glass of water. This wasn’t the first time Wendy went to her unit at dawn, it started a few months ago until the visits at dawn became too frequent, and she’d always reek of alcohol and smoke. However, in all those number of instances, Wendy would not talk and would simply stare at the glass of cold water that Seulgi offers everytime.

She repeats, “What’s going on, Seungwan?”, because Seulgi thinks this is the time she has to step in. Seulgi, voice stern and demanding answer, “Wendy, what happened to you?”

Wendy met her eyes, “I feel so restrained like someone is breathing down my neck, watching my every move.” doing her best to keep her voice from trembling, Wendy swallowed the painful lump in , “Don’t I deserve more than a toxic and empty relationship?”

“Seungwan, you know you deserve more than that but then...” Seulgi’s expression softened, “why can’t you leave?”

Wendy did not say anything.

Seulgi sighed, “For once, please decide for yourself.” she reached out to Wendy’s hand that was on the table, gripping it tightly. “You are your own person. In this matter, where your freedom and happiness is at stake, nobody else should decide for you. Me? Lisa? Jisoo? your parents? We don’t have a say in that— even Irene.”

Wendy brought her other hand to her cheek, wiping away that lone tear. She could feel her eyes are starting to sting because of the tears she is trying to hold back.

“Seungwan, learn to decide for yourself.”

But doing so would mean that they’d be back to running on the same circle and Wendy wants no more of that— no more empty promises. Wendy have already used up all her energy, she’s tired, exhausted, and she couldn’t bring herself to run another lap. Wendy does not want to take another risk only for her to be brought back at the same spot.

Looking Irene straight in the eye, “Are you serious? I gave everything that I can to you and this relationship, Joohyun! I poured everything until I no longer have anything left for me. I stayed and allowed you to use me for your self-interest, even if I feel like drowning every single time and even when we are no longer happy!”

Irene’s eyes widened. She sat frozen looking at Wendy.

“It’s always what you want, Hyun, and never what I want! Why do we keep on fixing something that we bound to break anyways?” Wendy continues, finally dropping the bomb, “I’ve had enough, Joohyun.“

Fear ran around Irene that her eyes widened, fingers trembling, and she could feel her lips running dry. It was like the world momentarily stopped for her, “W-what?” she stuttered, “What are you saying? Seungwan, you better take it back or—”

“Or what? You’re going to turn it around me again by pushing me in the corner? This relationship makes me sick! It makes me sick that, every single day, I have to remind you to love me like you say you do.” Wendy leaned back, eyes set back on the road, hand on the handbrake, ready to go. “I’m done. I’ve had enough. No more.”

Irene’s body began to shake as anger began to take over her. Shaking hands covering , silently praying that she wouldn’t burst into tears. Irene began to hit Wendy’s arm, “You’re so ing unfair! You’re so ing unfair! What about me, Seungwan? Do you think