"Hey, you alright?" Junhoe asked. 

 

Hanbin smiled and closed his trunk. 

 

"Yeah." 

 

"You sure? You must be surprised." 

 

"I feel nothing." Hanbin lied. 

 

Truth is, he didn't know how to feel. Everything was so sudden. It was hard to understand his own feelings. 

 

Junhoe wrapped an arm around him. 

 

"Let's leave things in the past. We won tonight all because of you. Let's celebrate!" Junhoe cheered.

 

"You're right" Hanbin nodded his head.

 

 

~~~~

 

 

The air reeked of alcohol. You could barely hear anyone over the loud roar of music. It was crowded with ppl dancing. Some people in the corner making out. Others just standing and gossiping. 

 

Social events weren't really Hanbin's things. He was more of a little get together guy with his close friends. He didn't like to drink or get rowdy. 

 

With the music being too loud. Hanbin decided to get some fresh air. 

 

He sat on the porch and ruffled his hair.

 

"Hey" 

 

He hadn't hear that voice in a long time. It kind of spooked him. Yet made him feel anxious.

 

"Hi..." Hanbin said. 

 

Jennie sat besides him and stared at his hands. He began fiddling with his fingers and it made her smile. He only did that when he was nervous. 

 

"Congratulations on winning." She said. 

 

"Thanks.." Hanbin replied. It was silent for a moment. A thousand of questions popped into Hanbin's mind. He had so much to ask but held back. He didn't want to bring up the past. He didn't want the wounds to reopen. He refused to feel such pain again. 

 

"How have you been?" Hanbin broke the silence. 

 

Jennie smiled before answering the question. 

 

She's beautiful. 

 

Hanbin thought to himself. 

 

"Honestly, I feel like crap" the brunette chuckled. "Life's been hard... I'm just going through it."

 

"Is everything okay?" Hanbin asked. He knew behind that smile of hers hid a lot of pain.

 

"I'm just stressed. How about you? You seem content." She took a sip of the liquor in her cup. 

 

Hanbin wondered if she had picked up on drinking after they stopped being friends. Consuming the drink seemed like nothing to her. No reaction. Nothing.

 

"I'm holding on. Just focusing on school, basketball and etc" Hanbin answered. 

 

"Are you dating?" 

 

The question took Hanbin by surprise. It made him feel a little uneasy. If he says no she'll probably think that he's not over her? But if he says yes?.. Hanbin snapped himself back into reality. It shouldn't matter if he has dated anyone after her. Not that he did. But— never mind you get the point. 

 

"No." Hanbin said. 

 

"Oh..." Jennie oddly felt relieved. She knew it was selfish of her to feel this way but she couldn't help it. 

 

"How about you?" 

 

A cloud of guilt rained on Jennie but she didn't want to lie to Hanbin. 

 

"I went on a few blind dates. Dated a guy for a couple of months but it didn't work out." She explained. 

 

Hanbin didn't really know what to say. In some way he felt kind of hurt. He wasn't sure if he was holding a grudge against her but the only thing that crossed his mind after hearing that was the words she used to say to him. "I'm busy" 

 

"I'm sorry. I just needed to get you out of my head. It felt like I had no dignity, going out on dates." The brunette apologized. 

 

"Don't be. Whatever you do after me doesn't concern me. That's your business and if that's your way of healing then... I guess." Hanbin smiled. 

 

Jennie felt proud yet hurt. Proud because he didn't seem fazed by anything. Hurt because she wanted a sign from Hanbin. A sign that he still felt something. But who was she kidding? You can't expect someone to still like you after two years. Especially if you hurt them...

 

Remembering what she had put Hanbin through and remembering the lies she told suffocated her. She didn't feel worthy enough to even have this conversation with him. 

 

"Ah... I'm surprised you didn't date anyone after me." She chuckled and took another sip.

 

"Yeah.. I realized a lot after we fell off." Hanbin said. 

 

"Like what?" 

 

"That I had dignity" Hanbin joked.

 

They both began laughing. Jennie playfully nudged him with her elbow. 

 

"Asswipe" 

 

"I'm joking." Hanbin smiled at her. "Remember when you told me that I deserved better?" 

 

"Yes." Jennie replied. 

 

"I started believing that. It really helped me with moving on. I also realized that this needed to happen. In order for me to grow into a more mature person. I was lacking in a lot of ways but now, I am more confident." Hanbin explained.

 

Jennie smiled widely. It made her feel bittersweet. But she will always want the best for Hanbin. 

 

"You've always been enough Hanbin." She said in a serious tone.

 

"Hanbin! There you are! Come inside! We want you to make a toast!" 

 

"Come on dude!" 

 

"I guess I'm needed." Hanbin said.

 

Jennie nodded her head and watched as his teammates dragged him inside the house. Cheering his name and being rowdy. 

 

~~~

 

"What's in your hand?" Junhoe raised a brow. 

 

"Look for yourself." Chaeyoung said as she handed him the bag. 

 

Junhoe was hesitant to take it at first but grabbed it as he realized it was a gift. 

 

"Woah! Yes!" He cheered. 

 

"I remember you telling me that you lost your favorite track pants so I bought this for you." Chaeyoung smiled. "Congratulations on the win, maggot." 

 

"Thank you, chipmunk!" He shouted. 

 

"Yah! Why are you always yelling!" Chaeyoung retorted. 

 

"Sorry. I'm just really happy." He smiled while checking out the pants. 

 

Chaeyoung felt her heart racing at the sight of Junhoe jumping around like a little kid. Over some pants. It made her happy seeing him like this. 

 

"Babe. I asked you to get my jacket but you're just out here dancing?" Sana said irritated at the fact that he was with Chaeyoung. 

 

"Oh! Sorry! But look at what Chae got me! Remember how I've been telling you that—"

 

"It's just some stupid track pants. Are you gonna let me freeze to death or what?" Sana retorted. 

 

The smile on his face disappeared. And just like that, Chaeyoung felt a sudden rush of anger. Whenever Junhoe felt happy or enlightened by something Sana seemed to always make him feel ty. Chaeyoung didn't like Junhoe with Sana but there's a limit to what friends can do or say and she didn't dare cross that line.

 

Junhoe looked at Chaeyoung and smiled. 

 

"Thanks." 

 

Chaeyoung watched him walk towards Sana. She was throwing a fit over her jacket while Junhoe kissing her over it. 

 

~~~

 

 

Hanbin stood on top of the counter and ringed the glass. 

 

"Woo hoo!"

 

"KIM HANBIN!"

 

"HANBIN!" 

 

Hanbin smiled. His eyes scattered around the room only to find Jennie already staring at him. 

 

"I just want to say thanks for the endless affection and kind words. I want to thank my teammates for always working hard and pushing me to be a better player than I was yesterday. I didn't win this. We did. I couldn't have done it without your guy's help. So thank you. Let's make it a great season!!" Hanbin said. 

 

Everyone began applauding him. A lot of the people were shocked. They never really realized how good Hanbin was with words. 

 

Jennie walked towards Hanbin who was just getting off the counter.

 

"You've always been good with words." She chuckled. 

 

"Woah! Kim Hanbin! Here's a shot for the win! Eh?!" Bobby said.

 

"You know I don't drink" Hanbin denied.

 

"What?? But 2 months you were downing a whole bottle by yourself—" 

 

"I stopped" Hanbin retorted. 

 

"Ahhh. You were sad at the time." Bobby chuckled. 

 

"You're drunk" Hanbin handed him back the shot but he refused. 

 

"Just one shot" Bobby begged.

 

A pair of soft hands grabbed the glass cup from Hanbin and quickly downed the shot. 

 

"Oh! Seulgi! Ehh~ you're playing Hanbin's black knight?" Bobby teased. 

 

Black knight? Seulgi? Jennie didn't like the thought of that. She was also eager to know who Seulgi was and what her relation with Hanbin was. 

 

"No, I'm stressed." Seulgi said. 

 

"Stressed? Did something happen?" Hanbin asked. 

 

The tone in Hanbin's voice changed, bothering Jennie.

 

"I think I bombed my exams." Seulgi let out a heavy sigh.

 

"Didn't you study all month for it?" Hanbin asked.

 

"Yes but I got so nervous! You know how I am when it comes to tests." Seulgi said while taking another shot.

 

"Calm down, will you?" Hanbin scolded. 

 

"Yeah you don't want to throw up in Hanbin's bed again do you?" Bobby teased.

 

Hanbin glanced at Jennie and saw the change in her facial expression. She looked gloomy. 

 

"You-"

 

"I think I'm gonna go" Jennie said and excused herself. 

 

"Who's that?" Seulgi asked. 

 

"Yeah I saw you two talking earlier." Bobby added. 

 

"Just an old friend." Hanbin said. 

 

"Why didn't you introduce us?" Seulgi questioned.

 

"Maybe next time? I'm going to check on her she's pretty drunk right now." Hanbin said.

 

"He seemed worried" Bobby said while pouring a shot for him and Seulgi. 

 

"Don't be stupid. That's just Hanbin." Seulgi snickered. She had a weird feeling about them. She couldn't explain it but she wasn't very fond of the girl. She looked like one of those rude preppy girls. But Hanbin taught her not to judge anyone by their looks. 

 

~~~

 

Jennie's POV

I stormed out of the party. I didn't want to hear another word about Hanbin and that girl! Throwing up in his bed? Are they dating? But he told me that he didn't date anyone?? Did he lie?

 

I shook my head and grabbed my keys out of the purse. 

 

I shouldn't be feeling this way. I have no right to. I left Hanbin. I hurt him. But why? Why do I feel so angry? 

 

I was no where near sober enough to drive. I took out the closest thing to a key and dropped it on the ground. 

 

"." I said under my breath as I reached down to grab it. 

 

I felt a pair of warm hands brush against mine. I looked up to a blurred Hanbin. 

 

"You're not driving." He said. 

 

I got up and crossed my arms. 

 

"Don't tell me what to do." 

 

He looked surprised by my reply. So was I. I didn't mean to sound rude. It sounded nicer in my head. I swear!

 

"You're drunk. I'll drive you home." 

 

"It's okay. I'll just call an Uber" I said. 

 

He ignored me and pressed the button on my keys, starting up my car. 

 

"Can you walk?" He asked.

 

"Well duh, I have legs" I smiled and cleared my throat in an unbalanced attempt to walk towards the car. I stumbled over nothing causing Hanbin to grab onto me. 

 

"Here, hold my arm." He said. 

 

I latched my arm around his as he guided me into the car. 

 

"Watch your head" he held his hand out to protect me from bumping my head on the roof of the car. It was such a small and kind gesture. Something only Hanbin would do. He closed the door and entered the drivers side. I grabbed the seatbelt and attempted to buckle it. 

 

"Here." Hanbin placed his hands on top of mine, buckling the seatbelt for me. 

 

I looked up at him and smiled. 

 

"Thanks." I flopped back in my seat and let out a sigh. 

 

"Ahh this feels so nice. I could fall asleep right now." I said. 

 

He clicked on the touch screen and clicked "home" the gps began navigating the way. 

 

"Are you cold?" He asked. 

 

"No! I feel.. I feel perfectly fine." I giggled. 

 

He chuckled. "What Bobby said, it's not what it seems." 

 

"You're not obligated to explain yourself Hanbin. It's okay." I smiled. 

 

I'm relieved.

 

"If you can't handle your alcohol why drink so much?" He asked. 

 

I stared at Hanbin. Admiring his side profile. From his bushy and narrow brows to his perfectly shaped nose, to his red plump lips. It felt like old times where I use to just sit and stare at him. All day. It still gives me butterflies. To this day. 

 

"Because of you" I blurted. 

 

He looked at me in confusion. 

 

"You don't mean that. You're drunk." He said. 

 

"I lied..." I rolled the windows down. Letting the cold breeze hit my face. "I'm a liar Hanbin." 

 

~~~~

 

I woke up and it felt like my room was spinning. My head was pounding like crazy and my mouth was dry. I was dehydrated from all that heavy drinking last night. 

 

I noticed a different smell in my room and looked down at my clothes. I had an oversized jacket on. I lifted up the sleeves and inhaled the scent. 

 

Hanbin.

 

Oh no.. did I say anything stupid?! Did I do something?! I ruffled my hair in frustration.

 

"Think! Jennie! Think!" 

 

I fell back into bed and kicked my blanket off the bed. 

 

"AHH!!!" I let out a frustrated scream. 

 

"Is everything okay?!" Irene barged into my room. 

 

"Unnie! Did something happen?! Who took me home?! Did I do something??" 

 

Irene picked up the blanket and sat it neatly on my bed. 

 

"I see that you and Hanbin are talking again." Irene smiled.

 

"No.. he has a girlfriend." I fixed my hair and smiled. "But I'm happy for him." 

 

Irene raised a brow. "Are you really?" 

 

"Of course. It's been two years Unnie. I don't expect anything" I chuckled. 

 

"You owe him a thank you. It was so hard to get you into bed." Irene smirked. 

 

My eyes widened. 

 

"W-what?! H-Hanbin came into my room?!" 

 

"Don't you remember what happened?" Unnie gasped. 

 

"Please don't tell—"

 

"As your Queen! I order you to take me to my room! Or face the death penalty!" Irene reenacted. 

 

I buried my face into the pillow. Can this pillow just swallow me so I never have to face reality ever again? God I am so embarrassed.! 

 

"Anyways you may want to get ready for your classes." Unnie said before walking out. 

 

That can't be true! Ugh! What the hell was I thinking?! God I'm never drinking ever again!

 

 

~~~~

 

 

I walked out of the school's cafe and sipped on the coffee.

 

This was very much needed. 

 

"I'm surprised you got up "

 

"Gosh" I said, startled by Hanbin's presence. "My head is killing me." 

 

"Speaking of killing. It sounded like you wanted to kill me last night." He chuckled.

 

"Please! Please don't bring anything up. I'm so embarrassed right now." I begged.

 

"As you wish, my queen." he teased. 

 

I was mentally slapping myself in the face. Should I just pour the coffee in my eyes so I don't have to see him? 

 

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry for being a burden last night." 

 

"You're fine. I felt better taking you home. Uber's are scary at night and especially if you're a pretty girl" 

 

My cheeks began burning. 

 

Pretty girl? 

 

H-how can he say something so bluntly..

 

"I have your sweater in my car. After class I can drop it off." I said, changing the subject.

 

"I only had two classes today. So just text me when you're out and I'll come to you." 

 

"Text you?" I chuckled. "I don't have your number." 

 

"You don't remember asking for it yesterday?" He smirked.

 

"Forget I said anything. I'll text you! I've got to get to class now!" 

 

I quickly walked away.

 

 

~~~~

 

I got out of class and unlocked my phone to see a text message from Hanbin. 

 

"I'm at the gym. Could you drop it off? Thanks." 

 

I made my way towards the gym. It felt like old times when I use to drop food off for him during practice. 

 

I poked my head inside and saw him shooting the ball by himself. 

 

"There's no practice?" I asked. 

 

"Practice ended an hour ago." He answered and shot the ball into the hoop. 

 

"And you're still here?" I sat the sweater on his duffel bag and walked towards him. 

 

"Just wanted to kill time." 

 

I picked up the ball and began bouncing it. 

 

"Do you have somewhere to be?" I shot the ball into the hoop and smiled back at him. 

 

"Woah! Okay Jen." He smirked and handed the ball back to me. "Yeah some event." 

 

I moved farther away from the basket and made it into the hoop once again. 

 

"Yes!" I shouted. 

 

"Good job" he smiled. 

 

"Thanks." I smiled back. 

 

"You learned that from me" he teased. 

 

"Actually, I'm good at everything so don't get so full of yourself." 

 

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Right. You're Jennie Kim. You're good at everything." 

 

I picked the ball up and handed it back to him. 

 

"That's better." I smiled. " is it a Basketball event?" 

 

"Nope. I'm gonna give toys to the orphanage." Hanbin said. 

 

Hearing that warmed my heart. I had forgotten about his kind doings. He has always wanted to bring me along but I was so busy with work and school during the time. It was nice to know that he's still doing it. 

 

"That's very sweet of you. I'm glad you're still the same." I smiled. 

 

"Can I ask you something?"  Hanbin asked.

 

"Of course" 

 

"When did you move to New Zealand?" 

 

I swallowed thickly. "Two weeks after we stopped talking..." 

 

"Oh.. alright." 

 

It bothered me. Why hasn't he asked me any questions? Isn't he curious on why I cut ties with him? Isn't he mad? 

 

"Something on your mind?" He asked. 

 

"Hanbin.. how come you haven't asked me about anything?" 

 

He zipped up his bag and looked at me. 

 

"It's in the past." He smiled.

 

"Yeah but aren't you curious? I thought you'd be angry. I thought you'd hate me. I- I was so scared to face you.." 

 

"What we went through brought a lot of pain. To the point where I can't really feel anything about it anymore. I can't even shed a tear." 

 

I hurt him that badly?... 

 

Please forgive me Hanbin.

 

I felt like the guilt had me in chains. Not letting me escape this nightmare of lies.

 

"I'm so sorry Hanbin.." 

 

"Forgive yourself Jen. That's how you heal." He smiled and gave me a pat on the shoulder. "I've got to go or I'll be late. Thank you for dropping this off." 

 

"Drive safe." I said.

 

As soon as he left I dropped to the floor. Moment by moment the tears fell from my eyes. The salty drops fall from my chin, drenching my shirt. I couldn't stop crying. I pressed my hands against the floor. It began shaking and trembling. I felt so broken. I couldn't stop the sobs that only seemed to grow heavier. 

 

I knew very well that I had no right to feel this way but I couldn't hold it in any longer. It seemed like he really moved on. He seems so content. He's always been so calm and kind. I never deserved him. 

 

I never deserved you. Kim. Hanbin. 

 

 

End of POV