Chapter One

He knew this day would eventually come, but no amount of preparation could have prepared him for how he felt at the sight of the older man. It had been three years since he had seen him in person. Three long years. He looked different. Older. His chest was tightening and he wasn’t sure if it was because the older man was now looking at him or if it was because memories of that night three years ago were flooding through his mind.

“Yongbae, are you okay?” Yongbae quickly tore his gaze away from the man in the hallway and met eyes with his best friend. “I wanted to tell you he was back, but I didn’t know how you would take it.” Jiyong said nervously. Yongbae nodded slowly,

“No, that’s fine. I understand…I just…yeah.” He said, the calm and collected Taeyang no longer visible. Jiyong bit his lip. He always knew how to handle Yongbae, but when it came to this issue, he felt like he was at a loss.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jiyong asked quietly, almost in a whisper.

‘Yes.’ Yongbae thought, but he shook his head. “I’m fine.” Jiyong knew he was lying, but he nodded anyway.

“We have rehearsal.” He said, knowing that he would do anything for a subject change. Yongbae nodded and followed Jiyong closely, trying to pay no attention to the man whose eyes were starring at his back.

Perry couldn’t take his eyes away. He knew that her would have a hard time once he saw him, but he didn’t know that the boy he once knew had turned into a well grown man. But his eyes; those were the same, innocent and shy. He couldn’t describe what he was feeling.

“He’s grown a lot since you last saw him.” Teddy said as Perry watched him walk away. He looked up at his friend, unsure of what he should say. Did he really deserve to say anything?

“Yeah.” He went with. Not the most intelligent choice of words. Teddy laughed and patted him on the shoulder. Perry sighed,

“How is he, man?” he asked. Teddy’s smiled disappeared instantly. Perry frowned at his friend’s sudden change, “What?” he asked. Teddy shook his head,

“No, sorry, um…yeah. He’s been good.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. He looked uncomfortable.

“Come on man! I’ve been worried about him all this time! Is he angry with me? Was he okay? Was work hard for him?—“

“Perry, man. I can’t answer these questions for you.” He said. Perry frowned.

“Why cant you tell me?” he asked, confused.

“I just cant, okay?” Teddy snapped.

“Man what’s your problem!?” Perry exclaimed.

“Hey hey.” Both men glanced up. “What’s going on?” Hyun Suk asked. Teddy sighed,

“I’m sorry sir. It was my fault.” He answered, bowing slightly. Hyun Suk nodded understanding.

“You have work you need to do, and Perry, you have to come with me.” Both nodded. Teddy quickly walked away and left Perry with YG.

“It’s been a while Perry.” He said.

“Yes it has.” Perry said quietly.

“Let’s go to my office.”

Perry hadn’t been in YG’s office in three years. It felt weird to him, being back after so long.

“Welcome back.” YG said, sitting down at his desk. Perry smiled,

“Thanks.”

“We’re all very glad that you’ve come back to work.” YG said, leaning back in his chair. Perry nodded,

“I figured it was time.” He answered easily. YG suddenly gave him a serious look,

“A lot of things have changed around here Perry.”

“You’re talking about Yongbae?” YG looked surprised for a moment, but nodded nonetheless. “What is everyone tip-toeing around? I know he and I dated and I know I left without saying a word, but that’s in the past.” Perry exclaimed.

“It may be in the past but that doesn’t mean the scars disappear.” YG said harshly.

“What are you talking about?” Perry asked. YG sighed and shook his head,

“I’m sorry. It’s not my place to say.” He said. Perry rolled his eyes,

“Something’s going on here. Everyone’s dancing around something here with some low blows towards me.” Perry said, getting angry. YG sighed,

“Perry, there are just some things you don’t know.” He said softly.

“Like What?!” Perry exclaimed. “Teddy said something like that too about Yongbae. What’s going on?!”

“You left.” YG said simply. Perry stopped and looked at him surprised. “You left when you knew nothing about what was going on. You left him alone.” Perry couldn’t even find the words to say. “I can’t be the one to tell you anything. For the truth you need to talk to Yongbae. But there were a lot of changes after you left Perry. You can’t just act like nothing has changed.” Perry didn’t even try to ask any more questions. He just nodded is head. YG took a deep breath and sat up, getting straight back to business. “Now, as for work, I want you to just start working with Teddy of now in the studio. We’ll get you more permanent assignments later.” Perry nodded. “Alright then. You may go now.”

Walking into Teddy’s studio, Perry instantly froze at the doorway. Yongbae was alone, sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen. He could just make out the video that he was watching. It was on of the group’s first music videos, A Fool’s Only Tears. Perry knew that video well. It was after that recording that Yongbae had started drifting away from him and the reason why he had left. Perry watched Yongbae’s face, the way he blankly stared at the video. His eyes held no emotion. He could have almost sworn that he saw them start to water. He cleared his throat and frowned as he saw Yongbae quickly shut the webpage off and whirl around, quickly wiping his eyes, which widened once he saw that it was Perry in the room.

“Hey.” Perry said, trying to break the tension and make things less awkward. Yongbae stayed silent and bit his bottom lip, looking away. “You’ve…uh…you’ve really grown up. The hair’s different.” Perry said. Yongbae didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t even look at his face. Perry sighed, “Look, I just want us to be able to work together. Be professional.” Yongbae looked at him for the first time,

“That’s all you have to say?” he asked.

“Bae. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“How about explaining why you left three years ago.” Yongbae suggested, “Or why you never called. God, don’t you know the pain I was fee-…” Yongbae cut himself off and looked away again. Perry’s heart dropped at the younger’s admittance. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he honestly thought that the kid hadn’t been too affected. Yongbae sighed, “It was your choice Perry. Not mine. I just woke up on day and you were gone.”

“Kid, I wasn’t really the only one that made mistakes here.”

“Then what did I do?!” Yongbae shouted, “What did I do that made you leave me alone here?!” he cried. Perry involuntarily reached forward, but Yongbae stepped back on instinct. Perry frowned, but figured he would ask why later.

“Yongbae. I didn’t…I didn’t mean for you to feel this way. I thought it was what you wanted! You rarely came home and when you did, you avoided me. You avoided touching me completely. I thought you made it very clear that you didn’t want this anymore.” Perry exclaimed. The look in Yongbae’s eyes changed then. He looked down at the floor and his hands automatically came together, wringing them nervously.

“That…” he started, “…there was a reason…I…I just…I cant tell you.” He said quietly. Perry laughed bitterly.

“It doesn’t matter Yongbae. I made the right decision protecting my heart. I would repeat it over and over and over again.” Yongbae looked up at him and Perry was surprised to see tears in his eyes. He quickly reached up to wipe them.

“You don’t know anything.” Yongbae said strongly. “You know nothing about why I acted like that. And you didn’t stick around long enough for me to gather the courage to tell you.” Perry frowned, but was interrupted by Teddy walking into the studio,

“Hey kid, you ready to sta-“ he was cut off by Yongbae running past him and out the door he had just come in through. Teddy looked at Perry in surprise, “What did you do to him?!” he asked. Perry frowned,

“I didn’t do anything…why would I do something to him?” he asked, getting confused. “Why is everyone walking on egg shells around him? He’s not a kid anymore.” Teddy held up his hand,

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well then what the hell am I missing!?” Perry yelled, fed up with all the secrets.

“Yongbae was .”