An imagining of SooShu if they were LDR as idols (maybe Shuhua was filming in Taiwan while Soojin was in Korea). 

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The messages popped up on Shuhua’s screen without warning.

Baby 20:52: Shuhua, are you okay if we don’t meet tonight?

Baby 20:53: I want to journal and do other things before bed ~

Pale grey speech bubbles. For all their innocence, they couldn’t exactly mask the twinge of hurt that flashed through Shuhua’s chest. But nevertheless, her fingers tapped out an immediate response.

Shuhua 20:53: Yaaaaa

Shuhua 20:53: Np np

There wasn’t a quick reply, not even the telltale ellipses that were so adept at bringing on a rush of adrenaline. Shuhua quickly exited the texting app and shut her laptop. How long had it been since her and Soojin finally decided that there most definitely was something between them? She swiveled around in her chair and thumbed through the calendar sitting on her desk.

Almost twelve weeks.

Three months.

Three months of being between friends and lovers.

At first, it was so exciting. Shuhua leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Those initial nights of talking until the sun rose, texting each other how much they liked one another, sending all sorts of romantic emojis. Sure, they had been friends for half a decade, but still. Talking to someone you liked was different.

“I love you Shuhua! I wish I could kiss you right now!”

“I love you too Jin-ah! If I had a choice, I’d never let you go!”

Shuhua hadn’t expected the pain that would follow.

When Soojin told Shuhua that they could only be friends. They were idols, Soojin was religious. Anything more than friends would be unsustainable in the long run. The hurt that crushed Shuhua’s chest back then was almost unbearable. It was the kind of hurt that made Shuhua physically unable to breathe, the pinpoint stab wounds in her heart.

It was the kind of pain that made Shuhua finally understand the word “heartache.”

Soojin had pleaded with Shuhua to see her side.

“I just think if we dated, someone will get hurt! And I never, ever want to hurt you, Shuhua!”

Shuhua thought that was stupid.

“But Jin-ah, what are we supposed to do? Do you think if we stopped talking now, we wouldn’t be hurt? Why are you being so preventative when we should be reactionary?”

At least that logic broke through Soojin’s ironclad “no.” So they had snuck around, sometimes vowing not to take things beyond hugging, sometimes failing that promise by memorizing the curves of each other’s bodies in the dark of night.

Yet, Shuhua knew that every time she lifted Soojin’s shirt, the next day, Soojin would give her the “talk.”

“I really think we should stop seeing each other, Shuhua. We obviously can