Outro: distinct closing section at the end of something

 Love Me Now

Your breathing sound is lingering everywhere near me 

This night is filled with the echoes that coming back 

I’m crying out your name

At this moment

I want you to love me now.

“I can’t believe we missed it!” Sooyoung says, flashing her phone in the darkness of their van. “Look, look!” 

“I wanna see!” Yerim says, grabbing the phone out of Sooyoung’s hands. 

“Me too, me too!” Seungwan says, kneeling on her chair to get a better look of the phone.

Seulgi rolls her eyes but patiently waits for her turn. When it finally greets her, she’s greeted by a post by jendukie almost 3 years ago. Joohyun is the center, and around her are Jennie, Rosé, Lisa and another girl that Seulgi has yet to meet. The caption simply reads: Here’s to day 1 of following our dreams. 

“That’s why Rosé looked so familiar! It’s such a small world.” 

“It’s meant to be!”

“Yerim-ah.” 

“What? I’m just saying. If we didn’t send her the tickets, she still would have wound up going anyway because of BP.” Yerim says with a roll of her eyes, ignoring Seungwan’s warning tone. “The universe has brought our Joohyunnie back to us!” 

“Wan, don’t worry about it.” Seulgi says, knowing her best friend is just trying to look out for her. “Yerim’s right anyway.” 

“See.” Yerim sticking her tongue out at Seungwan.

Seulgi sighs and looks out at the quickly passing Seoul lights. As soon as they released Joohyun from their group hug, their managers ushered them all into the dressing room, rushing them to freshen up and get changed because they’re throwing a surprise party for everyone involved. That means their dancers, choreographers, tech crew and of course, their video crew. 

“I know it didn’t turn out how we expected, but isn’t this what we wanted?” Sooyoung says, proud that their plan sort of worked. 

I want her back too.

But what does that really mean? Seulgi knows without a doubt that she is still in love with Joohyun. But does Joohyun even feel the same way? What if she didn’t? What is the point of wanting someone if the other person doesn’t want you back? How does she make the first move? How do they go from not seeing each other for years to going back to how they were? God, it feels impossible at this point. 

Seulgi is so absorbed in her thoughts she doesn’t even realize they’ve reached the venue, closed out for their massive party, and she doesn’t even notice when the maknaes quickly disappear from her side as soon as they spot Joohyun in the crowd. When she finally realizes it, however, Seulgi swears she isn’t jealous at how Joy easily manages to put an arm around Joohyun’s shoulders, or how Yeri swoops in to get a head pat from the older woman, beaming at the attention. 

“Earth to Seulgi. Are you okay? We can go home, say you're really tired if it’s too much.” 

Seulgi shakes her head, “Thanks, Wan. But I’m fine, really. I guess I’m still in a state of shock.” 

“Well, it’s safe to say that you’re not the only one.” Seungwan gestures to the designated table of BP Studios, where the younger girls, particularly Jinsol and Jungeun watch with wide eyes as their boss is being pulled into another crushing hug by Red Velvet’s Joy. 

“I just need to get my head on right. Create a game plan. Make the right moves. You know?” 

“Moves?” 

Seulgi shrugs, “To make sure she stays.”

Seungwan hums in response. “I’m really glad she’s here though.”

“Yeah, me too. Me too.” The two girls watch as Joohyun playfully hits Yerim on the shoulder and the younger girl pulls Joohyun into a headlock. Just like old times. Seulgi turns to her best friend and even then, she can see how much Seungwan continues to look out for her, not wanting to leave her alone but obviously wanting to approach Joohyun. “Hey, Wan?” 

“Yeah, Seul?” 

“Thanks for always looking out for me. And for Joohyun.” 

“Well, of course, idiot. I love you. Not like that. But, you get me. And I love Joohyun unnie too, if that wasn’t clear. Now, let’s stop being cheesy, there’s already been too much of that tonight.” 

“How’d it go?” Seungwan asks, her voice full of concern as she watches Seulgi throw her dusty black cap on the floor. Seulgi takes her place beside her best friend, removes her sunglasses to reveal her eyes that are obviously puffy from crying, but she says nothing, and stares at the TV that’s playing some American drama. 

Seulgi appreciates how Seungwan gives her time, lets her process but is still there, patiently waiting until she’s ready. Eventually, Seulgi says, “We’re on the same page.” 

“Oh.” 

Seulgi nods, “Yeah. It’s over.” and the tears begin to fall once more. Seulgi sobs so hard she feels like her heart is trying to escape from her chest and run back to Joohyun. Seungwan holds her close, rubbing her back, and telling Seulgi she made the right decision. “It’s what’s best for the both of you.” 

“Is it? What if I made a mistake? What if we did? What if-” 

“What if you made the right decision?” Seungwan interrupts. “What if this is what you both needed?” 

“I just- it hurts so much Wannie. I love her so much but I can’t- I’m not enough. I keep leaving her behind, I keep hurting her, putting her second to everything else in my life- and I know she deserves better but- I don’t know what to do-”

“Shh. It’s okay, Seul. One day at a time. We’ll figure it out one day at a time.” 

To say Seulgi was grateful for Seungwan was a complete understatement. Aside from Joohyun, Seulgi could tell Seungwan anything - even when it came to her dilemma of whether to stay with Joohyun and hurt her more in the long run, or to break up with the older woman now in order to prevent further heartache. Seungwan is always ready to help - that’s just who she is. So if it was to help Seulgi heal and to ease her mind and to make sure Joohyun was okay, then of course Seungwan would agree. That’s why, unbeknownst to the other two members, Seungwan was the last person to see Joohyun in person. 

Seungwan sits on Seulgi’s bed with a sigh. “She’s okay, Jennie is staying in her place this weekend, and possibly for the next week just to make sure she’s taking care of herself. She hasn’t eaten at all since you left but Jennie said she’ll make sure she eats the soup I brought over… And uh… Jennie said it would be best if I didn’t drop by anymore. She’s grateful we checked up on her but if I do this again… it might not help Joohyun unnie.” 

Seulgi nods, “Okay. Jennie’s right. At least she’s okay and in good hands. How’d she look?” 

“Pretty much like you.” Seungwan says, taking in the dark circles under Seulgi’s eyes and the disheveled hair. “But you know, prettier. Cause it’s unnie.” 

Seulgi snorts, and playfully shoves the smaller girl off the bed. Seungwan’s eyes grow wide as her hits the floor but Seulgi then quickly pulls her into a hug, “Thank you so much.” 

"Of course, anything for the both of you."

Out of the members, Seungwan was always careful, careful not to bring up Joohyun in random conversations, and careful to not be too obvious to show that she missed her. But Seulgi knew the truth. Joohyun knew how to adjust to each of them, and that meant to Seungwan too. She was the one that pointed out how underneath all of Seungwan’s on-cam hyperactivity was a mind just as loud with many worries. Joohyun would stay up with Seulgi when Seungwan had a problem, and when Seulgi ran out of words, Joohyun would softly give her opinion. Seungwan cared for Joohyun, but she cared for Seulgi even more so here she was, standing beside her leader even though Seulgi could see how much she was looking at their maknaes with envy.

“Go talk to Joohyun unnie.” Seulgi says, nudging Seungwan. 

“Will you be okay?” 

“Of course I will. I’m still figuring it out.” 

Seungwan rolls her eyes, “Right right, game plan, the right moves or whatever. But, you idiot, you should literally just talk to her too. Okay?” 

“You’ve called me an idiot twice in a span of three minutes.” 

“That’s because the love of your life is right there and you’re letting all of us talk to her first.”

“Well, you know what Yerim would say if I just swoop in.” 

“Save some unnie for the rest of us!” Seungwan finishes with a smirk.

“Joohyun unnie, welcome!” Sooyoung beams as she lets the older woman into the dorm. 

“Unnie!!” Yerim hugs their guest and drags her into the living room. “Listen to this, I wrote it with Sooyoung unnie the other day!” 

“Joohyunnie! Want to try these cookies I just baked? I need your opinion. It’s missing something but I just don’t know what.” 

“Hello? I believe my girlfriend came here for me?” Seulgi says, appearing from the hallway and making her way to the rest of the group. 

“Hi.” Joohyun smiles. 

“Hi to you too.” Seulgi replies, giving Joohyun a light peck on the cheek. Seulgi observes how the smile on Joohyun's face grows bigger, and how a blush of pink spreads from her neck to her cheeks. She tucks a strand of hair behind Joohyun’s ear, and places another kiss on the top of her head, her girlfriend leaning in to Seulgi’s touch. 

“Excuse me, hi, hello, we’re here too.” Yerim interrupts. 

Sooyoung gestures at the couple, “See, this is why we have to get to unnie before you! Once you’re here, we’re doomed! She’ll only mind you!”

“Yeah, save some unnie for the rest of us!” 

“She’s my girlfriend!” 

“Yeah, well, she’s my friend!” 

“Mine too!” 

Seungwan laughs and joins in, “Yeah, she’s my friend too!” 

“So, sorry, Seulgi unnie, you’re outnumbered.” Yerim replies, as she crosses her arms with a victorious look on her face.  

“Also, I can’t mess this up. And besides, Eunji is talking to Joohyun now too, so now’s your chance to get her number, you idiot.” Seulgi smirks as a blush begins to form on Seungwan’s face. 

As Seulgi watches Seungwan join the expanding group of Joohyun, Yerim, Sooyoung and Eunji, there’s a small tap on her shoulder. “Hello, Seulgi-ssi. Congrats on an amazing performance, as usual.” 

“Rosé, I told you to call me Seulgi already. Jinsol already calls us unnie.” Seulgi offers them to sit by their table. “And thank you. I can’t wait to see what you guys come up with.” 

“It’s gonna be a piece of cake.” Lisa says. “But really, we came here because we wanted to talk.” 

“Go ahead, I’m all ears.” 

“It’s about Joohyunnie.” 

Seulgi tries her best to keep calm and remain neutral but with the way Rosé’s lips quirk up and how Lisa sniggers, it’s obvious she’s not doing a great job at it. “So, uh, I guess you know, huh?”

“Yup.” 

“Even when we were working together? You knew?” 

“Oh yeah. For sure.” Lisa answers

“But that’s not important right now.” Rosé says, and bends her head down, her voice dropping to a whisper and handing Seulgi a piece of paper. “ This is what’s important.” 

“I - what - this is a business card.” 

“It’s Joohyun’s business card. I put her personal number too. She doesn’t usually check her work phone on the weekends and her personal number is dead during working hours cause she’s efficient like that.” 

“And if you look at the back of the business card, there’s a list of Joohyun’s current favorite things. Current favorite restaurant, favorite overtime snack, the song she plays when she’s extra stressed. Oh wait. Sorry. I didn’t have enough space.” Lisa says, as she reaches into her back pocket handing Seulgi even more business cards, “Uh, here. These are our cards, not like you need our details or anything. But yeah, everything we could think of about Joohyunnie is on the back. To catch you up.”

“Uh… not like I’m not grateful for these and all… but… why?” 

Rosé winks, “Why do you think? We’re obviously rooting for you.” 

“We don’t know what Joohyun unnie is thinking right now. But we felt you should at least have some ammo when you finally build up the guts to talk to her.” 

“I’m planning!”

“Well, hurry up, Seulgi! The night isn’t going to go on forever.” the director says, patting Seulgi on the back before they stand up and disappear into the crowd. 

Seulgi continues to watch the people around her, and honestly, she’s happy. She’s happy as her members join her at their table, mentioning how Joohyun has to talk to her team for now and sent them back, but the joy radiating off of them is infectious. She’s happy as their backup dancers approach them, already tipsy before the party’s officially even started, taking selfies and already excited for their next stops. She looks around the room and she spots BP Studios, Joohyun laughing with her head back at something Jennie or the younger ones have said. Seulgi thinks that if she could, she’d like to bottle up this moment. This moment where everyone is light and happy and Seulgi can just watch everything unfold. A moment where everything is okay, and sure, it’s not perfect, (since she's not with Joohyun) but there’s nothing to ruin it.

“Seulgi unnie?” 

“What is she staring at?” 

“Oh. She’s staring at Joohyun unnie.” 

“Seulgi unnie?” Yerim tries again poking their leader. When that doesn't work, Yerim takes a more drastic route.

“OW!” Seulgi yelps, rubbing her arm. 

“You weren’t minding me!” Yerim defends. 

Sooyoung crosses her arms, “You know, you can just talk to her.”

“I will, I will.” 

“Yeah, Seulgi’s making a 'game planl.” Seungwan snorts, air quotes and all.

“Say hi! Start a conversation! Say, unnie, wow, you still look so elegant and pretty! Just go, you wimp!”

“Sooyoung-ah.” 

“Please. You are the least scary one here. Just go already, the awkward air is killing me.” Sooyoung groans. 

Yerim gives Seulgi a two thumbs up. “Don’t be nervous, unnie! You got this!” 

“I’m not nervous!” 

“Yeah, that’s our Seul!” 

“I am going to go up, say hi, have a decent conversation and win her back!” 

“YEAH UNNIE!” 

“I can do this!” Seulgi slams the table with her fist. “I am ready-” 

“Seul, great! I was gonna ask for a volunteer but since you said you’re ready, why don’t you start us off with a speech? Just to thank everyone and look forward to the rest of the tour and all.” their manager says, a hand on Seulgi’s shoulder. 

“Uh-” 

“Great! You’re up!” their manager pulls Seulgi to her feet and easily slips a glass of champagne into her hand.

“But-” Seulgi tries but their manager is already on the way to ask the restaurant to cut the music. 

“Wan? Yerm? Soo?” Seulgi calls out for help but her members pretend they don’t hear her, busy sipping on wine, checking their phone or eating the bread on the table. “Ugh, fine.” 

From her spot in the restaurant, Joohyun smiles to herself as she watches the antics of her four favorite girls, (her BP girls are a close second she swears). She tries not to laugh as she watches the look on Seulgi’s face when the manager comes up and slips a champagne glass into her hand, pulling her up for a speech. Seulgi looks confused and flustered, and Joohyun thinks it’s absolutely adorable. 

Years ago, when their breakup was still fresh, Joohyun would find herself wondering what would happen if she ran into Seulgi again. Would they run into each other’s arms and apologize? Would Seulgi take her back? Or would Seulgi look at her with indifference? Would Seulgi even look at her at all? Then, months passed, then a year, and Joohyun realized that with her luck, she’d never see Seulgi again. (And she couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing)

But now, there was no point in wondering. When Joohyun finally saw her again after all these years, Seulgi looked shocked, but it easily shifted into a look of awe and the brightness in her eyes reminded Joohyun of the night she met Seulgi. 

“I love it when my best friend is happy.” Jennie says, effectively snapping Joohyun out from her thoughts. “But really, How are you doing?” 

“Good. Really. I missed them so much.” Joohyun turns to her best friend. “Also, please tell Jisoo I owe her one big time. I’ll buy her that bag she keeps talking about! Or even dogsit for you guys!” 

“Wow, that desperate huh? How are you going to dogsit Dalgom when you can’t even be in the same room as him?” Jennie snorts, “But Jisoo said as long as you mention how she fought for you so you could go on an earlier flight and reunite with Seulgi during your wedding speech, she’s fine.” 

Joohyun practically chokes on her drink. “Wedding??” 

“Well, isn’t the plan to get back together?” 

“Uh…” 

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

“We broke up for a reason.” Joohyun mumbles, but she knows Jennie can hear her. 

Jennie rolls her eyes, “Bae Joohyun you’re lucky the children are here and I can’t fight you because somehow you’re tiny but strong. But Joohyun, please, I know what you want. Hell, Rosé, Lisa and Jisoo know what you want. At this point, the children don’t know yet, but they’ll figure it out too! Everyone knows what you want.” 

“We broke up for a reason.” Joohyun repeats. 

“But you want to be with Seulgi again, right?”

“It’s not about want. It’s not as easy as that.”

“I want to give you the world. I want to show you off, to mention your name in interviews. I want to be there when you’re having a ty day. I want to crawl into your bed when I’m having a ty day. I want to surprise you, I want to meet your family. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve. But right now, I can’t.”

Joohyun nods, wiping the tears away from Seulgi’s face. “I just want you to be happy, Seulgi-ya. I don’t want you to have to constantly worry about me. I love you, more than anything. But this relationship... it’s bringing you down. You already have so many things to face, so many pressures from all sides. Your company, your members, your family, your fans. I don’t want to add to that. I want to be with you. You know that. But... I also want you to be free. I can’t keep tying you down.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s why this is the best thing to do.”

“I know, I know.”

“You’re so stubborn, but am I surprised? No. But damn it, Joohyun. You were the one who told me we have to work for the things we want right? Granted, it was about the business but my point stands. You were the one that said that we all have to do our part. You reached out, you gave them time, then they reached out when they were ready.” Jennie reaches for both of Joohyun’s hands, forcing her best friend to look at her. “Joohyun, I know you can be blind but please, the whole dang universe aligned for you to get this chance. Why can’t you see how lucky you are? You just need to keep going. What’s that you told me? What’s that line you tell every single one of them on their first day with us?”

“It’s not about want. It’s about work.” 

“Exactly.”

“I don’t want to lose them again.” Joohyun admits. “If I leave it at this, then we’ll be okay. If I hold her at a distance… remain friends and nothing else... then we'll be okay. I don't want to lose her again.” 

“You won’t. Don’t you see? They want to be in your life just as much as you want to be in theirs.” 

“I have news. Multiple.” Jennie says, as she leans on the doorway of Joohyun’s editing studio. 

“Isn’t it usually good news and bad news then you make me pick?” Joohyun asks, her eyes still glued to the computer. 

“Well, it can go either way. Also, you’re gonna want to pay attention so, focus.” Jennie taps Joohyun’s desk until the director looks up. “Okay, so first, we won Sakura.” 

“We did?! That’s great!!” 

Jennie smirks, “Honestly, she’s such a fan of you and your work that I didn’t even doubt it for a second. So, you or Lisa will need to be in Japan for this, two months tops but of course a couple of trips between then and now. Jisoo’s already volunteered to be lead producer.” 

“Done. I’ll do it.”

“Wait, don’t decide just yet. There’s more. Soooooo… remember a couple of months ago, I asked for your concert, live event and MV reel?” 

“You mean the one you asked for at 4PM that had to be sent over first thing the next morning so Hyejoo, on her first week of work, had to stay overtime with me? That reel?” 

Jennie winces, “Yes, that one. So… I take it you remember, huh? Anyway, we got that one too.” 

“Great!” Joohyun’s eyes narrow. “I have no idea where the bad news is in all of this.” 

“It’s around the same time as Sakura.” 

“That’s fine. We have more than enough people to handle that and other ongoing projects too.” 

“Well, you’ll really need to think long and hard about who’s working on what.”

“Why? Who’s the client?” Jennie doesn’t answer, suddenly taking interest in her nails. “Jen? Just tell me.” 

“Red Velvet. For their next concert.” 

“Rosé and Lisa will handle it.” Joohyun answers without missing a beat. 

“But-” 

“This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this. As soon as we started building our idol clientele, I figured it would happen sooner or later. But, I don’t want to abuse the position I have and force them to meet me. Rosé and Lisa can take the lead.” 

“But Joohyun, it’s been so long. They miss you, Sooyoung and Yerim think they’re slick but I see their fake instas liking my posts all the time. I think even Seungwan has a fake insta now that I think about it.” 

“Yes, I miss all of them. But I don’t want to pressure them. And me working with them all of the sudden might just place a huge weight on their shoulders because they’ll need to think about giving their all for their work and think about me and how to handle our relationship. That’s not fair to them.”

“I hate when you use logic.” Jennie grumbles. “I just want you to be happy again.” 

“Jen, I am happy. Look at what we built. We’ve got a solid team, a growing client base-” 

“You know that’s not what I mean.” 

Joohyun sighs, “I know. But I should be allowed to be happy over those things right? You know I’ve reached out in my own ways, but what if they’re the ones that aren’t ready? I don’t want to pressure them. They’ll reach out on their own time. I just have to be patient.”

Working with Sakura goes a lot smoother than Joohyun expected, the young idol likes all of Joohyun’s ideas, and because it’s her first visual album, she’s ready and willing to try everything. It’s more work, and it’s extremely tiring, but partnering with someone who’s just as passionate about their work as she is always keeps Joohyun energized. 

Joohyun knows she let Rose and Lisa handle Red Velvet, but she can’t help but be involved. It’s not like they mind anyway, their team already used to others giving their input on their work, and the two already very aware of her past with Seulgi. 

“Eunji did a great job.” Joohyun comments, as she goes through the concert VCR. 

“Well, your storyboard helped us a lot.” Lisa answers.

“How were they?” 

“During the shoot? Professional. Playful. Just like how you described.” Joohyun is glad they’re not on video call cause she can already imagine the smug look on Rose’s face. 

“Thank you for taking care of them.” 

“Of course, Joohyun unnie! Oh, wait, Jennie’s here she wants to talk to you too. Turn on your video.”

“Joohyun, my favorite director in all of the world~” Jennie singsongs as her face appears on Joohyun’s screen.

“What do you want, Jennie Kim?” 

“You’re so cranky.” 

“And you’re in such a good mood it’s suspicious.” 

“Soooooo, you know our other client right? The one you didn’t want to work on?” 

“God you’re so lucky I’m not there to kick you under the table.” Joohyun grumbles, already massaging her temples. 

“Anywaaaaaay, like you asked, I had all your mail and deliveries temporarily routed to the office. And, look at this!” Jennie flips the screen to show her dark, on it, were two tickets with the words ‘Red Velvet Red Mare’, soundcheck tickets, backstage passes and a separate envelope. 

“Is it-” 

“Yeah. Like you said, at their own time right?” 

“What’s in the envelope?” 

“Oh, there’s a picture. Okay, this is from Yerim I’m sure. They drew a mustache on Seulgi and Seungwan and there are angel wings on her and devil horns on Sooyoung.” Joohyun finds herself smiling as Jennie shows her the picture, her finger pointing at the different details. 

“I guess it’s from Sooyoung too, then! On the back it says, Joohyun unnie, followed by many exclamation marks, Guess whose brilliant idea it was to send you these tickets? None other than I, Park Sooyoung. Fine, Yerim says it was our idea. Then in parentheses, it’s really mine. I just want to say thank you for all your support, don’t worry, we know you’re still supporting us in any way you can. Thanks for the flowers, by the way. I hope you can see us perform. You’re gonna love it. Miss you. Love you. We all do.”

The call cuts out after that, and Joohyun knows it’s not their internet connection. Jennie may to no end, but Jennie has also been there through it all. So, as soon as she sees the tears in Joohyun’s eyes, she ends the call, giving her friend a moment to cry on her own. When Joohyun’s ready, she’ll call her back. 

Joohyun is grateful that their little heart to heart in the middle of the celebration wasn’t picked up by anyone around them. Her team is enamored as Seulgi speaks, thanking everyone for all their hard work, and they laugh when Sooyoung decides to join in because Seulgi is ‘no-jam’. 

After their speech, everyone enjoys the food and the company, and Joohyun also realizes how long it’s been since she’s been with her team like this. Joohyun is proud of all of them. She's proud of herself, of Jennie, Rose, Lisa and Jisoo for building something so good together. She’s proud of her team, of each of the girls they hire. (Jinsol let it slip that Jungeun is waiting for her critique, but Joohyun is sure she’s proud of the young videographer too.) But Jennie is right. She’s happy with them, but not in the same way she was before. Honestly, a part of Joohyun isn’t sure if she deserves to be that happy again. And maybe that’s why she works hard and does her best with BP, because this is a happiness she can control, a happiness that doesn’t hinge on whether someone will stay or not. (That doesn’t hinge on whether someone will love her back or not.)

“Everyone has a day off tomorrow, okay?” Joohyun says as the night begins to wind down, their stomachs full of food and dessert, and honestly a lot of alcohol, causing their whole table to go crazy. “You all worked hard the past couple of weeks, and you deserve to rest.” 

One of the kids, Joohyun suspects it’s Jiwoo, starts chanting, “Irene! Irene! Irene! Irene!” and for some reason, the other tables join in and Joohyun is ready for the ground to eat her up. 

“Jennie, please stop them.” Joohyun says as she hides her face in her hands. 

But of course, Jennie is just as loud. 

Suddenly, the cheering stops and as Joohyun takes a peek from behind her hands, she can see the whole table staring at her. “What?” 

“So, why is it Irene now?” 

Joohyun whips around and Seulgi is there, her cheeks red, but most probably from alcohol than anything else. “Are you drunk?” 

“No, no, I promise I’m not.” Seulgi says with a cheeky smile, “Do you want to get a drink?” 

“Sure.” Seulgi offers her hand and Joohyun gives a warning look at the rest of the girls on her table to not squeal. 

They walk together in silence, their surroundings too loud for conversation anyway, but Joohyun can’t help but smile at the familiarity of it all. How it feels like all their walks together, under the yellow umbrella, under the night sky, hidden from everyone else. Except now, there are at least thirty people around them, some probably watching them at this very moment. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“Just a work thing. In my old job, I had to work with some foreigners so I chose Irene. Easier to say.” 

Seulgi smiles, handing Joohyun a glass of white wine. “I like it. It suits you. Elegant. Pretty.” 

Joohyun raises an eyebrow, “Are you sure you’re not drunk?” 

“Not drunk. I just rehearsed this in my head over a hundred times before coming over.” 

“That’s more like the Seulgi I know.” 

She doesn’t know where Seulgi is leading her, but she follows anyway. Seulgi ends up grabbing a whole bottle of wine as they sit down in one of the tables at the edge of the venue, able to see everyone but mostly hidden from their view.

Seulgi is swirling the contents of her glass, watching as it swishes away, and Joohyun knows it’s times like these where she has to be patient. The younger girl takes a sip of her wine, and takes a deep breath, forcing a smile. “Unnie, you have no idea how much I missed you.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve missed you the same amount, if not more.”

“Uhm… is it okay… if I… uhm… Can I hug you? Cause Sooyoung and the others have already and I had to keep doing these dumb group hugs-OOF”

Joohyun hugs Seulgi as tight as she can, and her clothes smell like Joohyun’s old favorite fabric softener and the citrus notes of Seulgi’s perfume is still prominent, despite the late night. When they pull away, Seulgi smiles and Joohyun can feel her heart soaring like it did all those years ago. That smile and all the warmth that comes with it. The warmth she’s seen on stage so many times, finally directed at her once again. 

The first night they met, they clicked instantly. Joohyun was comfortable with Seulgi as they ate ramyun and kimchi, as they talked about Seulgi’s dreams to be a singer and Joohyun’s late work nights. And tonight, they talk about different things. How they’ve both reached their dreams. How Joohyun still has late work nights but they’re more tolerable because of the people around her. It’s different, but the comfort that they felt all those years ago still remains. 

“You know the person that made all this possible? You know her. You’re actually good friends with her.” 

“Really? Who?” 

“Chung Ha.” Joohyun smiles at the memory. “I met her once during a company holiday party, the one where my boss enjoys schmoozing with different agencies and she was there with her company, basically showing her off to try and find a partner studio. We were both bored as hell, and she thought I was like her, an idol from a small company.” 

“See! I told you, you could pass as one!” 

Joohyun rolls her eyes and fights the smile on her lips as she ignores Seulgi's comment, “But we hit it off, and she wanted to work with me. She thought my boss was a creep though and I don’t know, she was willing to offer me one project and see how it goes. So I quit that week, we shot content for her fans and next thing I knew, Jennie and I were signing contracts to do her MVs.”

“You did well, Joohyunnie.” 

“It’s because of you, you know?” 

“What is?” 

“That I’m doing so well now. I saw you grow, I saw you struggle, I saw you turn into the successful idol you are today. It’s because of you that I understand how you all have a story. That you’re all artists, but sometimes, your voice isn’t fully heard. You’re not the mindless robots some people think you are. So, I do better because of you. To capture who you are as people and who you are as artists.” 

Seulgi beams, “Now, I’m really really glad we got to work with you.”  

Seulgi catches Joohyun up on everything she’s missed and Joohyun isn’t sure how to feel. She’s surprised because it all feels so normal. It feels like she’s missed a month instead of four years of their lives. Seulgi tells Joohyun about Seungwan’s latest recipe, and how they now have a dog in the dorm thanks to Sooyoung’s incessant begging. She tells Joohyun how Yerim was terrified of the small maltese at first but eventually, those two have warmed up to each other and Joohyun doesn’t miss how Seulgi says, “You’ll get used to Haetnimee too.” She talks about how Sooyoung has her own personal studio now where she works, how Seungwan is practicing the piano and how she and Yerim are trying to work on new songs. 

They talk for so long that the pair hasn’t realized that almost everyone has left. The rest of Red Velvet is still there of course, sharing a table and dancing to the music with some backup dancers, and even Joohyun’s friends. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there tonight.” 

“You showed up just in time. What matters is you’re here now. And, I’m sorry too.” Joohyun tilts her head to urge Seulgi to continue. “I’m sorry that it had to be our maknaes that had to approach you and send the invite. It’s not that I didn’t want to see you. In fact, it was the complete opposite. I wanted to see you all the time. I just didn’t know if I was allowed to. I didn’t know if you want to see me.” 

“And now?” 

“And now I’d like to see you more often, if that’s possible.” 

Jennie’s words echo in Joohyun’s mind. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” 

Joohyun wants them back in her life. That she's sure of. She’s wanted it ever since they left. She wanted it even more ever since they sent her that invite. But did she want to get together with Seulgi? 

Everyone knows what you want. 

We broke up for a reason. 

She knows she wants to be Seulgi’s friend again, at the very least. Because Seulgi has a presence you can't just erase in your life. But now, looking at Seulgi, being with her and talking to her just like old times, her heart both soaring and shaking just being around the younger woman, Joohyun can’t help but want more. 

But was that fair? 

They broke up for a reason. Their lives are too different, Seulgi in the spotlight, Joohyun on the sidelines, they’re busy, they have separate lives.

But, they’re older. Wiser. With more control.

But.

They broke up for a reason.

They didn’t have enough time for each other then. 

But they had more than enough love. 

Had. 

Did they still have it?

Were they still in love? 

If they were, would it be enough now? 

“Unnie?” Seulgi looks at Joohyun with so much hope in her eyes that Joohyun has to stop herself from kissing Seulgi on the spot. She's so beautiful, and so kind, and Joohyun has no idea what to do if she has to break Seulgi's heart all over again. Her palms begin to sweat and feels dry as Seulgi reaches for her hand.

“Yes, Seulgi?”

“Joohyun… do you think it’s possible for you to love me again?” 

Joohyun’s mind is racing, going back and forth. One side shouting how much she still loves Seulgi. But there's one that's just as loud and more persistent: We broke up for a reason.

“I-” 

“YAH! YOU TWO! THEY’RE CLOSING UP, LET’S GO!” Seungwan shouts and the two down the rest of their drinks, ignoring the way their faces are heating up. 

“I’m going to kill her.” Seulgi grumbles, then turns to Joohyun while flashing her signature smile, her cheeks extra squishable, and her eyes turning into those beautiful crescents that Joohyun loves. “It’s okay, you can answer me next time. I just want you to know, I’m willing to wait.”

A/N: Hello, I lied. This will now be 5 chapters. Let me know what you think in the comments below or on twitter @iccampfire!