Aulani

A low buzz filled the room, the vaulted ceilings in my condo making the constant whirring noise just that teeny bit too loud. I fumbled underneath my covers, shifting first to the right and then to the left, itching to ease the dull ache of need that’d I’d been suffering through for a week. I bit my lip and tried to concentrate.

Ah... just a little bit more, I begged to myself, willing my brain to see the stunning version of the perfect man in my head, to mentally imagine him caressing me in place of the silicone tool that I used instead. Lean and toned arms filled my thoughts and a slight warmth pooled deliciously in my belly.

Ugh, finally almost....

With a small sputter the pink I’d affectionately named Manly died on me.

“!” I muttered and in a moment of extreme frustration threw the piece that was supposed to bring me to completion against my bedroom wall.

Innocent and pathetic looking, it lay there with its batteries hanging out of its user friendly end and I glared at it with all the resentment I could muster.

Barely thirty, independently wealthy, smart and as far as I was concerned, good looking to boot. I had everything I ever dreamed of getting and it was all perfect…except that I was as hell. I know it sounded pathetic, and honestly it was.

Fumbling as the sound increases in volume and occurrence, I find my phone at the foot of my king-sized bed and press the stop on the alarm for all I’m worth. I can tell it’s going to be a day.

A call comes not five minutes after I’ve managed to stuff face as deep as I can into my pillow. The tinkling sound is like windchimes and I breathe deeply before I pick up the phone, already knowing who it is.

“Yeah,” I said gruffly into the device but that doesn’t stop the voice on the other end from sounding delighted.

“’Lani, hey! Did I wake you? I couldn’t have because we’re having a shopping day and you know if you’re late I’ll filet you, right?”

“What do you mean Nikki, of course I’m awake,” I say as I remove myself quietly from my sheets lest she hears me through the speaker. “I’ll be ready soon to meet you downtown, don’t worry.”

“Lovely, I’ll see you then!” I make noncommittal noises until she hangs up and then I toss the phone on my messy bed. My eye twitches a bit at the mess but I don’t have time to get it all fixed up to my level of satisfaction and still meet Nikki on time. I grab some causal clothes from out of my drawers and haul into the shower.

“Be honest, when was the last time you had the D?” The smaller woman next to me asked pointedly, her smile too wide and happy while she asked such a personal question. Stunned into silence like I was, it was a minute before I could make myself open my mouth to reply.

“Will you shut up?” I hissed angrily and slapped my hand down just above her actual lips in an attempt to cover Nikki’s mouth. “We’re in a high class boutique, you don’t talk about in here. Honestly it’s like you’re the one on the spectrum sometimes instead of me.”

I looked around and noticed the white women who worked in the shop staring at us curiously and I removed my hand away from Nikki’s face quickly in embarrassment.

“Don’t joke about your autism so deprecatingly, you’re perfectly fine just the way you are. And it was only a question, it’s not like I went looking through your trash.” Snorting, I touched some of the pieces in the racks in front of me and did my best to look nonchalant.

“Either way, it’s none of your business when my last time was,” I reminded her and she had the nerve to roll her eyes.

“It’s my business if my bestest friend in the whole wide world starts growing cobwebs on her nether regions,” Nikki whispered this time but her face still showed her usual smirk.

I on my teeth feeling annoyed.

“Firstly that’s biologically impossible. Secondly, I’m not just gonna screw some random guy just because it’s been two years since I last had -”

“Two years!” Nikki screeched and like clockwork, one of the women who’d been staring at us from the boutiques counter came rushing over, her pale face splotched with pink.

“Ladies can I assist you with anything?” She asked us, clearly wanting us out. But her question didn’t faze Nikki who promptly held out five dresses and asked for them in her size. The woman left reluctantly to fulfill her request and I my friend.

“This isn’t the time or the place Niks, I’m serious.”

“You’re always serious Aulani, that’s why it’s been so long since you’ve had a man. We’ll both be twenty-nine come the new year and you’re still without any prospects,” she huffed in annoyance.

“Prospects, really? I didn’t know I’d been transported to 17^th century England. Quit trying to sell me off like some prized cow,” I quipped, eager to stop this line of conversation.

“But you’re my best cow, so you deserve the best. Or at least a good ,” Nikki corrected herself thoughtfully just as the woman returned with her dresses.

I felt my face heat in embarrassment but Nikki took the clothes and still had the audacity to try them all on. After she made her purchases, we left the store and walked out onto the street, the popular Rodeo drive boasting way too many outlets for us to look through in a single day.

“Look, I know you’re shy and old-fashioned. And I get it honestly, I do. But I’m getting married in a month and I don’t want my girl to be alone either. Just spend one night with me at the club and I promise I won’t bother you again.”

I gave my friend side eye as I heard her pleading tone. We’d been friends for ten years and not once had she managed to get me to go clubbing with her. This definitely felt like a setup and my hackles rose accordingly.

“I’ve had a ual partner before. I’d rather not repeat the experience. After I slept with him he was crass and generally lacked intelligence.”

“He was also a boyfriend honey, what you need is a good ,” Nikki giggled and I couldn’t help the frown that formed on my face.

“I don’t like strangers touching me. If you’re insinuating a one night stand then I won’t be able to.”

I pulled my leather jacket closer to me, happy that it’s cool enough to wear the thicker piece. When this sort of talk comes up, I always feel so exposed. But in the end I know she’s right...and I have been lonely more often than not these days. I’m reminded of Manly and how unsatisfying it’s been lately.

“Fine,” I sigh finally giving in. “Just one night, I mean it. And no ty dresses and heels. I can’t walk in those damn things,” I grumble.

Nikki let out a high pitched scream of happiness and I watched her circle around me in a little happy dance of delight.

“I promise you’ll have a good time. You’ll love it, trust me.” I only sighed in response still feeling like this wasn’t my scene.

The loud base-thumping sounds of the club floated up from the floor and through my feet into my body, the noise so loud that it out any other sounds and made it almost impossible to hear anything over it. I sidled closer to my friend and her fiancé, feeling overwhelmed and more than a little annoyed.

“If you were making a trip to ‘Thots R Us’, I wish you would’ve invited me along. I feel too much like a school teacher in this dress.” I half-shouted at Nikki as I stared enviously at her shimmery silver dress that barely touched the tops of her thighs. Her three-inch heels were a blood red and with her silk pressed hair held up in a high ponytail, she looked flawless.

As for me I wore a much more sedate dress in burgundy that had sleeves that reached my elbows but exposed my shoulders and fell just above mid-thigh. It clung to me like a second skin and I’d had to forgo lingerie altogether in order to get it on. Every nook and cranny was on display to some degree and I somewhat regretted the big dinner I’d eaten before we came to the club, one hundred percent sure that with this tight of a dress on I’d have a very visible food baby. I touched my head gingerly, placing my hands lightly over the huge banana clip that had taken my wild mass of curls and tamed them into a fro-hawk.

The loud thump of the club seemed to reverberate inside my skull on endless repeat. Like a living pulse it only grew louder the more I focused on it but focusing was what I did best. The more I tried to resist the worse things became. A headache was starting to form behind my eyes and with a concentrated effort I swallowed down the panic and nausea and tried not to lunge for the door.

was mildly disgusting. It had always been that way for me; the sight of a male body generally made me uncomfortable, not hot and bothered. The thought of bodily fluids mixing together, sweat with sweat, saliva from separate mouths merging and coating the body, that was the cause of many dates ending with a simple hug. It was unsettling and even though I was no longer a I hadn’t truly enjoyed my ual encounters, too aware of each minute detail until I was trapped in my own mind.

Unable to get past the ever- swirling thoughts had made me stiff and unfeeling in bed; my previous boyfriend had deemed me a cold fish and I had believed him when I felt nothing as he tried to arouse me. But the worst thing about having was that after the first few times your body longed for it. My mind wanted one thing while my ual orifices wanted something else, a satisfaction that I couldn’t get from my own fingers or toys alone anymore. In the end this was why I had agreed to come out with Nikki; I had an itch I needed to scratch.

“You have to find the right one. Not too short or too tall. Dressed well but not showing off.”

“All these rules,” I mumbled but somehow Nikki still managed to hear me over the bass threatening to burst our ear drums.

“You’re on the hunt ‘Lani, these things can’t be taken lightly.”

Dating hadn’t been this exhausting, back then a man had simply come up to me and suggested we hang out. He had been a co-worker and after a few dates I had agreed to be his girlfriend. I had regretted it, his emotions tumultuous and hard for me to understand. He expected me to know his feelings without having to tell them to me; who in their right mind would be able to do so? Even when I had asked for him to be up front, he had declared he shouldn’t have to explain, that I should have known why he was happy or upset or feeling neglected. I wondered if it was my autism that made it hard for me to be in a relationship or if I was deficient in some other manner. It had been an immense relief when he’d ended things, and I hadn’t been in a rush to repeat the process, I still wasn’t wholly willing now. But in any case, I wanted this day to be over as soon as possible and I started looking on my own for potential mates.

None caught my eye until a man’s shirt shimmered in the strobe lights. His body moved fluidly in time to the beat, his posture comfortable and it seemed highly plausible that he wasn’t aware he was moving at all. He was maybe an inch or two shorter than me in my heels, but his black hair was buzzed down on the sides and long in the front, a clean appearance. His slim eyes were crinkled up into a smile currently and his cheekbones stood out, giving definition to his features. He was dressed in a black silk top that was both casual and probably expensive, the dark blue jeans he had on fitted and the sneakers he wore a pristine white. The people he had around him all seemed to be joking at his expense but he took the barbs in stride, his grin never wavering.

“What about him,” I asked Nikki, giving a head tilt towards the guy instead of pointing him out. She turned to look him over and I waited patiently, my anxiety increasing just slightly as Nikki made her evaluation.

“Not bad! Go for it,” she said finally and gave me a thumbs up. I nodded in response and started to prep myself as I made my way through the club.

Be direct but not too direct. Modulate your tone, sound genuinely interested, I thought to myself, the words the same ones I always repeated whenever meeting someone new.

My throat was dry by the time I made it to the man’s section of the club and by now some of his friends had gone towards either the dance floor or the bar. My prey was nearly alone, this worked in my favor.

With a renewed sense of confidence, I tapped his shoulder delicately with a single finger.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you wanted to dance?” The man in front of me turned around quickly at the tap, a white smile at the ready. He gave me an appraising look, the dark of his eyes measuring me up quickly before that same eye-crinkling grin lit up his features.

“Sure, let’s see if you can keep up.” He put down his drink on a table nearby and we moved towards the dance floor, the tiles of it garishly lit like a 1980’s disco hall. I rolled my eyes at it but the man next to me bounced on his toes in what I gathered was excitement. Whether it was the prospect of dancing or me, I couldn’t tell.

Facing him, I held out my hands for him to take and he did so with a barely-there touch. Tingles shot through my palms and I almost snatched them away in a knee-jerk reaction. Biting my lower lip, I stepped closer to him and began to move to the beat, the song having changed from earlier to one much easier to groove to.

The man leaned in closer to me but maintained enough distance that I wasn’t tempted to pull away and he moved right along with me until the song ended. Breathing a little harder, a slow jam filtered through the speakers amidst the cheers of the crowd. The larger groups of people broke off into couples and when I would have left the floor, my partner held me back.

“My name is Jay Park, it’s nice to meet you…” he said with a pregnant pause. I had learned long ago that this is what people did instead of asking for a name directly. Stupid, but for some reason I didn’t mind playing along.

“Aulani Graham, and it’s nice meeting you too.” Social pleasantries aside, I was pulled back into his embrace as the slow song continued. Jay’s arms wrapped around my waist and he nuzzled his face into my neck. His hair that fell across my collarbones tickled me and I sighed, wishing that something, anything could come of this but knowing there’d be nothing but a hazy memory of a night of bliss. At least that is, if I could gather up the courage to ask for what I needed.

A/N: Hey guys! It's your erstwhile author here to give you a taste of a coming soon fic! I would like to point out here that the term soon is relative lol. Leave me comments below and tell me what you liked about the story so far! Remember to UPVOTE and SUBSCRIBE for more content!