It was unbearably warm when you woke up. Your eyelids fluttered open just a few centimeters from Junmyeon’s face. His features were fuzzy as your eyes tried to adjust to being active again. At some point in your sleep, you had cuddled up to his side and he’d wrapped an arm around your shoulders. With your head resting on top of a bruise on his shoulder, you were surprised you hadn’t woken him up.

Slowly sitting up, you looked down at his peaceful appearance.

A lock of hair from his bangs had fallen on his forehead sometime in the morning hours. You pushed it back, surprised at the softness against your fingers. The bruises on his face and torso had settled into a deep purple, which was better than the almost black shade they were a few hours ago. According to the digital clock on the nightstand, it was about twenty past two in the afternoon. It hadn’t been quite eight hours of good rest, but you were too alert to try and go back to sleep.

Junmyeon moaned, his mouth turning down to a frown as his sleepy eyes slowly broke open.

“Well, hello there,” you laughed. The way his face scrunched up, wrinkling the skin around his eyes and nose, was so child-like that it contrasted so much with the Junmyeon you knew. Or, at least, thought you knew.

Why couldn’t he look like the mobsters from the documentaries? The kind that were balding, overweight, and wore hideous, flashy clothing. That would be easy to hate and dismiss. Hell, you might have been able to just ignore his injuries and let him suffer. But this face came across as the boy next door; the kind that helped old ladies cross the street and laughed at their friend’s terrible jokes. When he wasn’t frowning or scowling, it was almost angelic.

“Have you been awake long?” he yawned, careful not to move too fast as he sat up.

You shook my head. “No, not at all. How are you feeling?”

“Stiff,” he answered honestly.

Massaging his shoulder with your hand, you could feel how tensed up his muscles had become from laying down so long. You threw the covers off of your legs and started to get out of bed when he caught your wrist.

“Where are you going?” He was practically pouting. What would his men say to a face like that coming from their fearless leader?

“I thought I’d be nice and start a warm bath for you.”

He raised an eyebrow cheekily. “For two?”

You ripped out of his grasp, throwing him a look. “No, for one. It’s to loosen up your muscles.”

“I can think of another way to loosen me up.” It was impossible to miss his implication.

Jumping up, you stared down at him in disbelief. “Did you drink while I was asleep? Is that why you’re acting like this?”

Junmyeon threw his hands up, playing innocent. You were used to Chen and occasionally Baekhyun’s flirty comments, but they never went quite that far.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I crossed a line.”

You folded your arms, completely confused by this one-eighty turn his personality had taken.

Sure, you’d been concerned about his wellbeing when he came home looking like he’d done a couple rounds of MMA. And, okay, you might have taken a small pleasure in seeing what was hidden underneath his shirts, but you’d kept those thoughts to yourself. One night sleeping next to each other just so you could make sure he didn’t stop breathing and suddenly he’d turned from cold mafia leader to the playful boyfriend.

You leaned down to get a better look at his eyes. They weren’t oddly dilated nor were the corneas turning colors. “Did you hit your head really hard last night? Did Junko rearrange some wires when he was beating on you?”

That wiped the smile off his face and gained you a flick on the forehead.

“Ow!” You rubbed the spot where his nail had stung the skin stung to try and sooth it. How childish.

“I didn’t appreciate that particular reminder,” Junmeyon grumbled. The playful look was gone now. His face was almost back to the part-annoyed, part-neutral expression you were used to. “And I was serious last night – or this morning, whatever – I think we should actually try to be more than just a piece of paper. Who knows, maybe this was fate?”

You rolled your eyes, straightening back up. Fate was not something you believed in. Chance, coincidence, luck; that’s how things happened. “That was a bit fluffy for a crime boss, don’t you think? Besides, you’re skipping a few steps. I’m not sleeping with you. In my opinion, we should start with the ‘friends’ part, huh? Besides, I thought I wasn’t your type?”

He flinched at that. “You’re right, sorry. And I only said that to make you stay at arm’s distance.”

You scoffed. Like would have tried to be any closer than that in the first place. No need to tell him that you had easily looked past him to a certain dimpled doctor. That wasn’t exactly a fight you wanted to have at this point. Nor did you want something bad to happen to Yixing. You didn’t think that Junmyeon would do something to harm him - he often called the boys his family - but you thought better than to take the chance. Besides, there was a more pressing matter to point out.

“And yet, you were the first one to fold.”

“Excuse me?” He stood up and stalked over to you. Damn it, how could he be so imposing? He didn’t have the height like Chanyeol and Sehun, but the way he held himself made him seem eight feet tall. “What do you mean I was folded first? You ran to me when you saw my face like Florence Nightingale.”

“Which I would have done if that was any of you guys, including Xiumin,” you pointed out. Although, you hardly knew his second-in-command. The underboss had hardly said two full sentences to you, but you still would have been concerned if he was hurt. Granted, you never would have asked to stay the night with him. Or any of the others. You think.

Shaking your head, you realized how juvenile the two of you were being. Why did it matter? This wasn’t a card game. And it’s not like you had actual feelings for him at the moment. Some attraction, sure, but so would anyone in their right mind after just one look at him. Well, when his face didn’t look like a Dalmatian. Add in the tiny bits of affection he’d thrown you way since yesterday morning and you were almost doomed.

On top of that, you did care about his wellbeing, not wishing him harm like some might think you should. You didn’t see him as a monster, not anymore. He may have kept you in the penthouse, but he didn’t confide you to a single room or make your life truly miserable. And you would prefer the penthouse to any more “social gatherings” like last night.

Thoughtfully, you spun the ring on your finger. You hadn’t taken it off when getting ready for bed, but now you wondered if maybe that was giving Junmyeon some of his newfound bravery towards you. He’d kept you in mind when picking out the piece of jewelry, meaning he’d somewhat been paying attention. If it was one of those fifteen carat diamonds with a thick band housing smaller jewels like the celebrities often sported, you never would have put it on in a thousand years. If you ever fell in a pool of water with it on, drowning was a huge possibility.

You couldn’t understand it, but you were coming to terms with your situation, possibly even finding a faint silver lining.

“I’ll start your bath that you’ll take by yourself,” you told him. “And I’ll make us something to eat. Are any of the guys coming over today?” Junmyeon shook his head a little too happily. “Okay, then.”

Turning around, you headed into the bathroom. It was hard to not focus on your jealousy when you got a good look at the tub. You hadn’t paid attention to the bathroom when looking for the first aid kit last night, but now you got an eye full.

The walk-in shower had dark, stone-like tile with a waterfall type shower head. The tub was more like a Jacuzzi, with jets and enough room for at least three occupants. You were a little tempted to say screw him and take a bath yourself.

Pushing that idea off for another time for maybe when Junmyeon wasn’t home, you let the water get steaming hot and fill up most of the way before calling that good enough. When you turned around, Junmyeon was out of bed and leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s all ready for you.” Eyes up on his face. Eyes up on his face.

As you passed him to exit the bathroom, he said, “Thank you.”

You nodded in reply and headed for the kitchen.

Food options were getting low, but at least the fridge wasn’t completely empty. There was some beef that was still good and a marinade that Kyungsoo had made that was incredibly delicious so that’s what you went with.

While rice was being prepared in the cooker, you chopped up the beef and stir fried it. The other little side dishes were easy enough to prepare, not taking too much time at all. In just a few minutes, the island was pretty much set and you were just waiting for the meat to finish up when Junmyeon entered the kitchen.

“That smells amazing,” he complimented sincerely.

“Thanks,” you said shyly. “Most of it is actually Kyungsoo’s work, like the sauce, but I guess you could say I did a good job at heating things up. There wasn’t much to work with. Someone will have to go to the store soon.” You wanted to say that you could go to the store, but the chances of that were slim and so you decided to keep the statement vague.

Junmyeon just nodded as he sat down, not mentioning who could be sent for the job. You made him a glass of water and let him get started on eating as you turned off the stove and started to rinse off some of the pans that had cooled.

“Just leave it,” he ordered. “We can clean it up later.”

It was hard to suppress a smile as you sat down across from him. He’d even said “we” like he planned on helping you. Was the job of washing dishes not too lowly for the mafia leader?

As you ate, you peeked up at Junmyeon in short, quick glances. His hair was still wet, giving it a dark sheen that complimented his skin. You were relieved to see him be able to move a little more freely without grimacing in pain every five seconds. It was still hard to make the images of Junmyeon fit together in your head. They were so opposite one another that anyone else might think you were talking about two different people. Or had some sort of Jekyll and Hyde situation on your hands.

The two of you finished lunch and Junmyeon graciously dried the dishes after you’d washed them and then put them away in their proper places. It was hard to keep your mouth shut, your brain oh-so wanting to make a snarky comment about him doing any sort of cleaning, but you kept your mouth shut. Getting along was not going to be easy after developing a sarcastic defense against him.

Once that chore was done, you relocated to the living room, settling on the couch. The two of you were facing each other, chatting on like it was normal.

“So, before all this, how much did you know about your father?” Junmyeon asked cautiously, turning the subject away from Xiumin’s apparent obsession with cleanliness.

You let out a long breath. It was the first time anyone had actually asked about your parents. The boys never brought it up and while you were growing up strangers just assumed it was a sensitive topic.

“To me, he was just your typical corporate lawyer. I only had pictures to go by, the ones that Taegun and Hyunmin had brought back when they went to go get me. He seemed normal, nothing too secretive about him. Just an average, every day father providing for his family.”

“Those are always the ones to look out for,” Junmyeon remarked.

Telling him you would be right back, you ran to your room and took out the photo you’d shoved into the drawer. You didn’t think that you would touch it for a long time – if ever again – but something made you want to show it to Junmyeon. On a whim, you also grabbed the album from the nightstand.

You handed Junmyeon the picture frame as you sat back down, leaning against your elbow on the back cushion.

“Okay,” Junmyeon whistled, examining the subjects in the photo. “I see what you mean. You’re right, very normal.” He chuckled. “You look like your mom. In fact, it’s a little scary.” Holding up the frame to your face, he looked back and forth between you and the photo.

You shoved it down, pursing your lips. “That’s what everyone says when they see pictures of her. Like her little clone.”

“What did she do?”

You shrugged. “She stayed home, as far as I know. She was a political science major but didn’t really do anything with it. My parents married pretty soon after graduating college and then had me. Most of the pictures I have are of just the two of us. She seemed happy, smiling at the camera, but that’s hardly evidence if she really was.” You frowned, thinking of the kind of person she might have been; if you would have gotten along with her had she been the one to raise you. Would you have had more in common than just your faces? “I hope she was.”

Sensing your change in mood, Junmyeon placed his hand on your knee. Even through the blanket thrown across your lap, you could feel its warmth.

“I’m sure she was.” He put the frame down on the coffee table. Smiling a little, his gaze was down on the floor as if he was thinking back to something. “My mother was happy. She loved my father, no matter what trouble he got into.”

“How did all this start?” you asked, curious about the events that led you all here, to this moment. “Did your father build all this?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, my grandfather is responsible for all this. Things were hard during the war. People needed protection and something to turn to for hope. My grandfather took advantage of that need, building his empire. Back then it was more about followers and he had several families underneath him. Things shifted when my father took over. That’s when it became more about territory and having control of certain goods and transportation.”

You took in everything he was saying. This life, it wasn’t just about breaking the law and living glamorously. Yes, the money was a big part, but it seemed to center more on control and benefits for the whole, like a company. That’s what all this was, in the end, wasn’t it? Each member had their own role to play, working in sync with the others to make sure the whole machine stayed together. While the ends might not justify the means, you found yourself admiring the system a bit.

“In the end, it wasn’t the constant fight with the other families that took him,” Junmyeon admitted.

You straightened up, surprised at the turn of conversation. “How did he die?”

Junmyeon took your hand in his and started playing with your fingers, perhaps to distract himself. “Heart disease. He didn’t take of himself very well and it all caught up with him. It hit my mother the hardest. She loved my father so much, she’d left her family behind for him.”

Intrigued by this love story, you scooted closer to listen. “How did they meet?”

“My mother’s father was a rising politician,” he kept his eyes down, focused on his distracting task. “They happened to be at a fundraising event that my father was throwing. My maternal grandfather hated being there, but he had to make an appearance since it was a legitimate fundraiser for the orphanages and he needed a good image. Their family came from money and so he needed to connect with the common people in order to get their votes and the people loved my father for the work he put back into the neighborhood. It was an open secret, what my father’s family did, but my mother didn’t care. She took one look at my father and knew she would never love anyone else.”

It was easy enough to picture, the couple meeting and the air turning warm and suddenly everyone else faded away until it was just the two of them standing there with eyes connecting, never to let go again. It was a scenario you’d read a hundred times, but the feelings behind them was something you had never experienced.

“She sounds lucky to have found love so easily.”

Junmyeon scoffed, dropping your hand. “Finding it was easy, keeping it took its toll and had its consequences.”

You bobbed your head in understanding. Love could only take so much and Junmyeon’s mother probably had to fight every day to hold on to her law-breaking husband. “Where is your mother?”

“She has dementia.” He took in a ragged breath, running a hand through his hair. The ends had dried by now, but a few strands stood up from the gesture, making it messy. “It’s still in the early stages, but she has to constantly be watched to make sure nothing happens to her. One time she almost burnt her house down because she forgot the stove was on. Another time, I found her pulled over on the side of the highway because she didn’t know where she was. I placed her in a care facility down in Busan, so she’d be away from the danger here in Seoul.”

Your heart was breaking for him. He loved her so much. It was evident all over his face and the way his shoulders slumped, thinking about how he had to send her away. You could almost imagine little Junmyeon clinging to his mother on his first day of school or playfully swatting her hand away when she tried to fix his hair. That kind of sight was something you wanted to witness. The beautiful bond between this man in front of you and his mother, who sounded like a saint or an angel.

“Do you think–” you stopped. Perhaps it would have been too bold of you to ask. “Never mind.” Playing with the hem of the blanket, you kept your eyes down. You feared that he might get mad at your request or think you were overstepping. Granted, he overstepped first this morning, but there was difference between his obnoxious flirting and this.  

He groaned. “I hate it when you do that. Can’t you just tell me what’s on your mind without me having to prod it out of you?” He even tapped on your forehead for emphasis.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to ask it.

Huffing, Junmyeon pulled your hand away from the blanket that you were fidgeting with and tilted your chin up. “(Y/n).”

“Fine,” you pouted. “I was going to ask if I could go with you, next time you visit her. I’d like to meet her.” Whatever reaction you were expecting, you weren’t ready for what you received.

It made Junmyeon shine. His smile grew so big it turned into an eye smile you’d never seen from him before. He’d moved with speed you wouldn’t think he was capable of in his current condition as he practically leapt you and pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on your shoulder. Just as you were about to lift your arms and return the hug, he pulled away.

“I would want nothing more,” he said quietly, his brown eyes boring into yours. “And I know she would love to meet you too.” Leaving you stunned, he sat back, a relaxed expression on his face as he continued to stare at you.

You shifted, suddenly uncomfortable with his unwavering attention. “What?”

“Where did you come from?” he sounded fascinated, like you were an alien that was floating down from the sky.

You scrunched your eyebrows. “Um, I think we’ve already had this conversation.”

He shook his head, letting out a small laugh. Settling his eyes on the album you’d put on the coffee table, he picked it up and started leafing through it.

“You have a lot of places you want to go,” he acknowledged.

in your lips, you cleared your throat. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to travel. I think being an outsider my whole life, I’ve just wanted to find somewhere that I could maybe call home.” You stopped the page flipping when he came to the pictures of France’s countryside. Pointing to the word scribbled at the top, you explained, “I fell in love with that word as soon as I heard it. I think it was in a movie or something. It’s French. Dépaysement. It basically means homesickness, but it’s deeper than that. Like, disorientation. A longing for your home country. Except, I’m not sure where that is. I feel like it should be the same as my parents, but I’m not confident that it is. So, I want to find it.”

Junmyeon caressed the pictures that held the green hills and fast forests of a country far away. In complete seriousness, he looked up at you and stated, “I’ll take you someday.”

Your jaw dropped. When Chanyeol had told you that Junmyeon liked to travel and he might take you along, you hadn’t really believed him that Junmyeon would take a risk like that. That would have taken some effort on Junmyeon’s part to put some interest in you as a human being. But now, with the way he said it and the look of genuine care in his eyes, you could actually hope. And not even the thought of sharing a hotel room put you off.

“We’ll start with America.”

Then you deflated.

Of course.

“Right,” You collapsed back into the couch. “So, I can get the files.”

Junmyeon scrambled up so he was leaning in and grasped your hands, realizing what you’d concluded. “No, that’s not what I meant. We can put that off. Once I can get things settled here in the next few months and your birthday comes around, we can take a nice honeymoon to California or Washington. We won’t touch New York until you want to.”

You didn’t believe him. You didn’t believe that three short weeks, or even less than twenty-four hours had changed his mind about the importance of those files. Not to mention, he still planned the wedding for around your birthday, the biggest piece of the puzzle. He’d worked too hard, planned too much to just let them fall to an afterthought. The only reason he even brought you here in the first place was for the secrets those papers held. You weren’t that special to make him forget it all.

Because you would avoid New York for the rest of your life. You would put it off every time he asked, every time it was brought up in a conversation. If it was truly up to you, you would leave that safe deposit box to rot.

But you let him think that you took him at his word, giving him a small smile. He patted your head, returning the smile. One step forward and two steps back.