Your entire body felt heavy, like you’d slept too long. Every muscle was stiff and sore. You wanted to groan from how uncomfortable you were, laying at an angle, but you didn’t even have the energy to do that. Something was poking at the inside of your nose, making it twitch. You wanted it out, but you didn’t want to wake up. After all that you’d been through, you decided you’d rather just lie there for the rest of your life. At least it wasn’t painful - emotionally or physically. You could just stay in this state, maybe even go a little more under so you couldn’t feel your body.

“Why hasn’t she woken up, Yixing?”

Your mind suddenly snapped to attention, no longer seeking deeper refuge in fear that you might miss something.

Junmyeon. That was Junmyeon’s voice. He was here, with you. But where exactly was here? Had he really come for you? Were you finally safe?

“She’s been through quite the ordeal, Junmyeon,” Yixing’s soft voice reminded. “Right now, her mind is probably relishing in the peace.”

He wasn’t completely wrong. This was the most calm you’d experienced in weeks. But now that you knew you weren’t in Junko’s clutches anymore, you wanted to open your eyes. Maybe being conscious wouldn’t be so bad.

But what if this isn’t real?

Your mind had played tricks on you in the past. This could all be a terrible dream and when you opened your eyes, you’d be disappointed all over again, finding yourself back in that dreaded bed you despised so much, right back in the horror you’d been living the past few weeks.

“Besides that, she’s okay, though, right?” The concern was dripping in Junmyeon’s voice. You could easily see the big brown eyes staring at you from under pinched eyebrows. “You didn’t find anything wrong?”

“Her lungs have cleared up and there doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage.”

“That’s good, at least.”

If this delusion truly was just your own mind’s manufacturing, then it was doing a very good job of it. The urge to open your eyes and confirm its tangibility was growing by the second. You fought back against it, not wanting to be hurt again. Could you be content in just this distant dream?

A weight gently settled over your hand. It’s warmth was real, familiar, something you’d been longing for.

That same weight – those fingers whose owner you felt you knew – picked your hand up and encompassed it with their other palm.

“Whenever you’re ready, (y/n),” you heard Junmyeon whisper, his breath gently brushing against your skin, “I’ll be here. Just don’t go away. Don’t leave me.”

Your throat tightened at his plea. Heart and mind were battling it out, pulling you back and forth between waking up and staying under; find your happiness again or risk being hurt. A small, wet splash against the back of your hand is what made your mind up for you. Surely you couldn’t have imagined that sensation, could you?

Peeling your eyelids open, you shrank back from the brightness shining in the room, attacking you from all sides. The familiar dark blues and grays that surrounded you gave you the courage to really take in your surroundings. So far, to your relief, your fears were unfounded.

“(y/n)!”

A force collided with your chest before you could process the source of your name, pulling you up to a full sitting position. The arms around you were squeezing you so tight you were afraid you might bruise.

“Junmyeon, not so rough.” Yixing appeared in your vision, resting a hand on the shoulder of the one who had you in a vice and urging him to ease up.

The hold on you loosened and Junmyeon sat back enough so you could finally see his face. He was really there, sitting in front of you. You were no longer prisoner to Junko. You were free.

His eyes were red, but only the faintest tear stain ran down his cheek; the only evidence of the droplet that had landed on your skin. There was a slight tremble where his fingers held onto you as if he was afraid. Of what, you couldn’t be sure. Was there really something that could scare the great Suho?

“Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly, grasping your face in his hands as his eyes bore into yours.

Now that you were awake and sure that this wasn’t a dream your brain had conjured up, you were a little less ecstatic. Reaching up, you took ahold of his wrists and pushed him away. “Why am I here?” you questioned gruffly. As thankful as you were to be out of the mansion, you didn’t see the point in staying where you weren’t wanted.

“You inhaled a lot of smoke from the fires you started,” Yixing answered as he smiled down at you. His hands were behind his back and he’d never looked more like the concierge doctor than in that moment with his white button down and stethoscope draped around his neck. “A bit of an extreme move, in my opinion, but it certainly helped things on our end.”

Okay. Maybe you weren’t completely unwanted.

“Well,” you stared down Junmyeon with a fire of your own, “extreme moves are needed in extreme circumstances. Especially when you’re left on your own.”

Yixing cleared his throat, not missing your inclination for a second. “I’ll go check on the others, make sure they’re doing alright. I’ll be back later to check on your vitals.”

After the door shut with a small click behind Yixing, you tore your heated gaze away from Junmyeon. The memory of him walking away from you on that balcony still haunted you, still burned white hot against your heart, scaring you forever. Yes, he was concerned about you now, but where was this Junmyeon when you needed him most?

Releasing a long, deep breath, Junmyeon slid off the chair he was sitting in next to your bed and fell to his knees.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out as he grasped your hand. You didn’t pull away, too weak to his touch to be that cruel. “I know you must have lost faith in me after that night, but I had to make Junko think that I was giving up to let his guard down. His arrogance was always his greatest weakness. If he thought he’d really defeated me, broken me down, then I knew he wouldn’t be watching us so closely.” His grip on your fingers tightened while his gaze stayed lowered, concentrating on the comforter rather than meeting your own eyes that were once again trained on him. “Leaving you behind with Junko is something I will always… not regret, but wish that I could have had another option. I almost went back for you after I left he balcony. I even turned around and started towards the door, but Minseok held me back. If I’d gone after you then, I might have lost you forever.”

“You could have at least taken the drive,” you whispered acidly.

Junmyeon shook his head. “No, I couldn’t. Junko’s guards were watching us.” The smallest upturn was visible in the corner of his mouth. “You’re not as sneaky as you think you are.”

You scoffed at his joke. “At least, I was doing something.”

“I was doing something, too,” he argued, brow furrowed in irritation. “I’m sorry that it wasn’t obvious to you, but from the moment you were dragged out of here, I’d been working on how to get you back. I couldn’t just rush in and do something stupid that would get us all killed!”

How the hell were you supposed to know? He was a much better actor than you, the history between you proved that. “Well, you still could have let me in on it. I’ve been sitting around, locked in a bedroom thinking that you’d lied to me, abandoned me to save your own skin!”

Junmyeon shook his head, look up at you with pitiful eyes. “Did you have so little faith in me?”

Closing your eyes tightly, you didn’t reply. Because you were quick to believe that he’d turned his back on you, but- “Could you blame me?” you asked when you opened your eyes again.

He reached out to you, caressing your face with his knuckles. A short little laugh escaped his throat. “That’s what Jongdae said.”

You frowned. “Jongdae?”

“Chen. It’s his birth name.”

His answer made you purse your lips. You were really going to need to learn everyone’s real names. Really, what else were you in the dark about still? “Well, Chen- Jongdae – whatever, had a point. You still could have given me some sort of sign that you still cared about me. Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking about you? How I dreamed that things were back to the way they were every time I closed my eyes?” Your throat began to swell and your sight blurred as water began to build up on your bottom lids. There was no use fighting it; you’d lose anyway. “Do you?”

Junmyeon jumped up from his knees, wrapping his arms around you once again and rocking you back and forth as you cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, (y/n). I’m so sorry. You’re right. I should have said something, done something so you could understand. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. That I promise.”

Unable to answer, you just sobbed harder, clinging to him as if Junko might kick down the door and drag you away once again.

When the tears finally ran out, you pulled back and wiped away the tears using the sleeve of the sweater someone had put you in. “What happened? Back at the house?”

Junmyeon patted your head. “Junko’s dead. I won’t tell you the details - you don’t need to live with that - just that he’s dead. The house was burning to the ground so we headed out of there.”

“What about the files?” The other thing that Junmyeon was desperate for. Hopefully he still had enough sense to grab that so all this wouldn’t be in vain.

Sighing, Junmyeon stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the black flashdrive. He held it up for you to see. “Sehun was the only one who thought of grabbing it. I was too concerned in getting you medical attention.” He scoffed. “All this trouble for something so small.” With his free hand, he took the other side of the drive and snapped it in half.

You gasped. “W-why did you do that?”

“Because I don’t need it,” he replied. He threw the broken pieces off to the side. “My only true enemy is dead and,” he smiled at you, “all I want is right in front of me. If you’ll still have me?”

How could this boy always surprise you?

“Yes,” you nodded enthusiastically. “Of course!” Throwing your arms around his neck, you’d never felt so elated in all your life.

Junmyeon kissed your hair and held you close. It was over. It was all over.

**

It wasn’t butterflies attacking your stomach. It had to be elephants or rhinos or something equally as large and rambunctious rumbling around there. You paced back and forth in the waiting room, wondering why you were so nervous. You knew this was coming. You’d been planning it for the last month, going over every detail, making sure it was perfect and just the way you wanted it. And yet, you felt like you were going to throw up any second.

“You’re going to make yourself faint,” Taegun warned. “And you’re making me dizzy.”

You cringed. “I’m sorry. I can’t settle.”

“Careful!” Hyunmin scolded you when you started to scratch your head with the hand that was also holding your bouquet. “You don’t want to squish it before you walk down the aisle.”

Walk down the aisle. You couldn’t really believe this day was here.

It was your wedding day, one that you were walking into on your own free will, no contracts or threat hanging over your head. You were excited and nervous and happy and jittery all at the same time. It was a simple ceremony, repeating vows you’d already agreed to in your heart, you shouldn’t be feeling this way. And there you were, rubbing a piece of the white fabric you were clothed in between your fingers.

Music blared through the speakers. The sudden noise made your heart leap.

“It’s time!” Hyunmin squealed. She kissed you on the cheek and shooed Taegun out of the room before leaving you all alone. With a deep breath, you looked yourself over in the mirror. This was it. The beginning of the rest of your life. After one more little self pep talk, you stepped out of the room.  

Junmyeon was waiting for you outside the double doors, dressed to the nines. Seeing him in a suit was nothing new, but for some reason, looking at him all dressed up for this specific occasion and his hair slicked back in the you loved, he took your breath away.

A glossy sheen overcame his gaze as he took your hand.

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered breathlessly. You looked down, too shy and embarrassed to reply.

The doors opened to reveal the ballroom and all your guests sitting at round tables, turning in their chairs to get a glimpse at the lucky couple. In time with the beat of the music, Junmyeon guided you down the aisle where Jongdae was waiting to officiate. To your right, Junmyeon’s mother, along with her personal nurse, was smiling at you from her seat. It hurt to know that she probably didn’t remember who you were or why she was even here, but you were happy that she’d been able to come at all.

You didn’t remember much of the actual ceremony. Sure, you spoke when it was time, repeating vows and saying “I do”, but everything else was a blur. However, you did remember Junmyeon’s face and the way he smiled at you constantly, never letting it dim even once even though the muscles around his mouth had to be straining. When the time came to seal it all with a kiss, a tear fell down your face. Junmyeon gently wiped it away before taking you in his arms, dipping you low, and kissing you deeply, as if he’d never be able to kiss you again. But you were fairly certain there would be plenty of them to come.

At the reception, you were constantly being approached by guests wishing you well and to have a good time on your honeymoon. All you could muster were mumbled thank yous, feeling bashful for no valid reason at all.

“Yixing!” You pulled the doctor who’d helped save your life into a hug when he approached. The other boys had already come to see you and were now mingling with the other guests, obviously flirting with the pretty ones, some succeeding and others being shot down shamelessly.

“I came to say goodbye,” Yixing sighed when he pulled back.

You frowned. “What? You’re leaving already?”

He nodded solemnly.

“Do you really have to go, Yixing?” Junmyeon asked as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

“‘Have to’ is a bit strong, but it’s about time I visited home.”

“And the other group,” Junmyeon grumbled.

You looked to your new husband. “Other group?”

“I’ll tell you later.” You’d make sure he’d keep that promise.

“I’ll tell Luhan and the others you said hi.” Yixing have Junmyeon a hug and one last smile for you before he disappeared into the crowd.

By the time the party was over, you were more than ready to curl up in bed and sleep for several days. Finally alone with Junmyeon, you shuffled in as close as you could to his chest, breathing in his scent and drifted off to a land that was no longer better than your reality.

**

You always thought the sea would look different if you saw it anywhere else in the world. But the waves that crashed into the italian beach moved the same, the sun reflected off the water’s surface the same, and it was a bit disappointing. Still beautiful, but not as extraordinary as you thought. It didn’t dull the wonderful few weeks you’d been spending, traveling from country to country, just like you had in your album.  

“(y/n)!”

Turning to look over your shoulder, you watched as your husband ran down the beach in your direction. He’d been gone for the last half hour after insisting that he needed to change out of his wet clothes. He’d underestimated the where the tide would come in, his pants getting soaked almost up to his hips.

You started jogging towards him, ready to jump into his arms. While it was just a short trip back to the hotel, you realised that you’d missed him in those few minutes. The views were always better with him.

When you reached Junmyeon, you leaped, barely caught in time to not fall to the soft sand under your feet. He kept a tight grip on your waist, swaying you back and forth. Putting you back down, he kissed your lips in a very non-typical chaste fashion.

“I love you,” he whispered.

You beamed at him, thankful that you would never get tired of hearing that. “I love you, too.”

The old chapter of your life - the filled one with fear, hatred, and mistrust - had come to a close. A new one was being written, coauthored by the man you’d sworn to hate, the man who had shown you that he did, indeed, have a heart and had opened that heart up just for you. And now it would be yours, until death do you part.