Chapter 01

Seo Jinae

 

Yesterday was definitely a hell of a night. Don’t even think of this the wrong way. The minute I left the hall in an uncomfortable state because I honestly felt like passing out, Jungkook very kindly got a driver for me to send me back to my place. The entire ride, I was trying my best not to vomit and before you even think about lecturing me, it’s not because of my alcohol tolerance or drinking too much. It happens once in a while when I drink and it’s because my blood pressure drops too low too fast and my heart rate increases like crazy. 

 

I wanted to thank Jungkook for helping me get a driver and even paying for it. I wasn’t even aware that he did until I arrived at my destination and the driver refused to take any money for me. However, I couldn’t even thank him simply because I didn’t have his contact information. 

 

Ignoring the fact that my stomach feels uncomfortable, I headed to the studios pretty early today just to have a meeting with a producer because I wanted to show him a song that I had been working on myself recently. The meeting went pretty well simply because he said it was a good piece and gave me some advice on how to further improve it. 

 

As I went up to my own little studio or workplace, I sat down and stretched my legs out just leaning back into the seat to take a quick break before getting to work. The upcoming week is going to be crazy. Yet just as I shut my eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet, my door slammed open so suddenly that I jumped slightly. Standing right infront of me was the man of the night that I promise I would torture for a week at least. 

 

“Seo Jinae.” Baekhyun was standing right there with yet that cheeky smile. 

 

“You still dare to show your face here, oppa?” I threatened, literally ignoring him and shutting my eyes once again. “I was about to message you to sleep with one eye open.”

 

“Yah.” He laughed and I heard him sit down on the little couch. I felt my chair being spun and then stopped and when I opened my eyes, he was right there infront of me. “How did it go with Jungkook-ssi?”

 

“What do you mean?” I didn’t quite get what he was even trying to say. 

 

“He told me you left early.”

 

“Yeah and took a cab home myself.” I corrected him in case he was having a bit of a dirty mind there. “No thanks to you, Mr Baekhyun-ssi that basically left me there.” 

 

“How was I supposed to know you were going to drink?” He threw both his hands up as if shouting defeat. 

 

“You would’ve.” I stated. “If you didn’t just disappear into thin air. Even Chanyeol oppa came by more often.”

 

“Yah, are you still not over Chanyeol?” He looked at me all serious. 

 

“You’re crazy.” I shook my head, trying to turn my chair around to face my desktop but then he turned me back to face him again. “It’s been like 4 years. Of course I am.”

 

“Then what do you think about BTS?” 

 

“I think you’re crazy.” I stated again. “I know what you were trying to do and let me tell you that if you even think for once second that any one of them would even consider dating me then I’d tell you to make an appointment at the Mental Institute.”

 

Baekhyun kept quiet, just looking at me with this disappointed look. Not going to lie, he was fully aware of this mental thing inside of my head. Despite always seeming so positive and confident on stage or having literally an entire nation tell me that I am gorgeous, I just don’t feel it. I struggle to accept myself. I knew that was exactly what he was thinking and judging how much I’ve gone through and how much he’s been there for me through it all, I can understand. 

 

“Don’t say it.” I stopped him. “I already know what you’re going to say.”

 

“Good.” Baekhyun scolded. “Because you’re gorgeous and you have so many talents and trust me, if you weren’t so about everything, I’d probably want to date you too.”

 

I chuckled at his honesty but not without his insults as well. Baekhyun will always be Baekhyun. I’ll miss him a lot when he enlists into the army. 

 

“So anyways,” Baekhyun changed the topic. “Can I give your number to Taehyung?”

 

The minute I heard the name, my back kind of snapped upright and I was seated so straight. Suddenly I actually felt like a meerkat that was on alert. I don’t know. There’s just something about Taehyung that seems intriguing and I don’t know if it was just because of his class. 

 

“S-Sure.” I accepted. “Why?”

 

“He asked me for it, saying that he made a deal with you on something.”

 

“Ah…” I nodded my head. “I didn’t think he’d remember.”

 

I honestly thought it was just a passing statement. I mean, he is Kim Taehyung and he’s way too busy to even keep such a deal with me. It’s not that I mind at all but rather, I just didn’t think he’d keep his word and I didn’t expect anything from it. 

 

“So I see you’ve made some friends.” Baekhyun commented and I can’t decide if he sounded like a father or an older brother. Sometimes he just plays the role of both. 

 

“I have friends, oppa.” I clarified. He made it sound like I am a loner or something. 

 

“Friends outside of our company, Jinae.” He clarified. “And friends that isn’t your ex boyfriend or his friends.”

 

“Okay.” I gave up. He was right about that but he’s wrong about me making friends with BTS.

 

This is BTS we are talking about - the worldwide stars. The only group or artist that is able to compete with The Beatles. They are literally creating history right now so to even think about having BTS as friends would really make me sound like I am insane. 

 

“I just want you to be happy, Jinae-ah.” Baekhyun spoke about his true intentions. 

 

I know he has nothing but good ones for me but sometimes I wonder if I can really ever be happy. What is happiness in the first place? 

 

“Komawoyo.” I told him with a sigh. “Anyway, good news, my song has been approved.”

 

“Chincharo?” 

 

“Yeah and I just need to clean it up and work on the lyrics. Hopefully it makes it to my album.”

 

“Wah,” Baekhyun sounded truly impressed as he gave me a thumbs up along with it. “You’re really going for it.”

 

“I’m just tired of singing what the company wants me to sing.” I told him honestly. “Oh Wow, was a horrible song that I’ll probably get nightmares.”

 

“I don’t think it was that bad.” Baekhyun chuckled. “Very SM-like.”

 

“But not very Jinae-like.”

 

“You’re right.” Baekhyun agreed. “Go for it man.”

 

Baekhyun stayed for a while longer before he had to go for his schedule. I stayed in my studio for what seemed like minutes but turned out to be hours. I was trying my best to get the best lyrics out of my head and onto this piece of paper yet I didn’t seem to have good meaningful lyrics coming out. 

 

By the time I realized it was late, it was already half past five and I only realized it because my stomach started growling. I started packing up and just nice my manager came in to see if I was still in the office and offered to send me back to my place. 

 

“Don’t forget you have to shoot for Running Man tomorrow.” 

 

My manager mentioned as we were headed back to my place. My entire schedule is jam packed nowadays and there are so many different types of activities. Today was one of the rare days where I get to spend an entire day working on my music. 

 

“Ne, Manager-nim.” I sighed as I slouched into the seat of the black van. 

 

I was exhausted. In fact, exhausted might be a bit of an understatement. I have had so many things to do and so much in my schedule that I am a little underslept and could use a long vacation. That isn’t happening anytime soon, especially not now when the public is noticing me and SM is trying to ride on that. 

 

Just as I shut my eyes, I felt my phone vibrate and I lifted my bum up a little to get it out from my back pocket. Completely un-ladylike would be the way to describe me but there weren’t cameras around and I couldn’t care less. 

 

Opening the message, my heart fluttered the minute I saw the name of the sender. How could one letter make my heart go crazy like this. I smiled to