Hello again, dear friend,

today I met Cobe again. Mom and I were grocery shopping and so was he. When I saw him I didn't tell mom, of course, I just went to him. ''You're mom doesn't want us to talk, El'', he had said. I didn't care though and went alongside him in the store to talk about how he had been. ''You know, El, life is boring without you and your letters and stories. I have no one who understands me as well as you do''. And we were silent for a moment. 

''El, have you found someone who understands you?''. When he had asked me that I really didnt know what to say. I didn't want to worry him by telling him that I've been alone after he left. Of course I have you but it's just not the same as when you actually were here, right by my side. But to say: ''Without you I am doing just fine'', would have been a lie. And I think he knew. ''Are you lonely, just like me?'', he asked then, as if he knew what I had thought. ''Lonely with only the letters and Toby because mommy and Freddy don't get you, El?''. Another question and his eyes told me that he already knew. He always knew. So I told him. ''Sam still acts as if I were the pest and avoids me, doesn't even look at me. And mom and Freddy always yell at me and tell me to talk with Mrs. Morgan about the letters but I don't want to share that with anyone, except for you and Toby'', I had said, Cobe giving me a smile, finally. He hadn't smiled before when we started talking in the store. I liked his smile. Even if it looked wicked and sly, I liked his smile. It made it seem as though he knew all the secrets to the world and all the thoughts I never dared to voice out because Freddy would try and send me to Mrs. Morgan, like he just needed you to say out loud what he already knew, just to prove that he knew.

After that mom had found us and yelled at Cobe to leave me alone, taken my hand and just pulled me back and out of the store, without buying anything. I don't know what makes me madder, not having the chocolate chip cookies that you used to buy me or having to leave Cobe after only spending a good ten minutes with him when I haven't seen him in about five months. ''You know you're not supposed to leave my side in the store and you're especially not supposed to leave to talk to Cobe. He's a bad influence and you shouldn't be around him, he gives you those stupid ideas, like the letters or keeping the stupid dog'', she said and I just yelled at her to never say that about Toby again. I yelled and cried until she was also crying and told her that I will write you this as well. She begged me to stop writing you but I refuse to be alone like her.

Toby and I went to the park again and met that old granny again. Her little white dog kept barking at us but Toby didn't care so I didn't care either. They walked the same path as we did, just like yesterday. They took the right turn over the bridge onto the road that leads into the city, under the highway, passing our favourite icecream shop. That's how far I followed her, but eventually I turned left at the icecream shop, walking up the dirt road to the fields and there I sat until the sun set. When it started to get dark Toby and I climbed down the little hill at the end of the cornfield and went through the sunflower field, on the dirt path that we used to walk together. We also saw old Joe at the gas station, his truck parked next to the restrooms and the lightpost, old and rusty just like Joe. He was at the window, tired eyes watching my every step but I learned to not be afraid of him and so he left as soon as I crossed the overgrown parkinglot and followed the road that lead into the quiet part of town. Into our part of town. When passing your house the windows were still bolted shut and the heavy woodplanks were still resting against the frames of all the windows and doors, the gate still locked and the huge tree still as scary as it always had been when I had waited for you in the garden.

Eventually I made it home and was greeted by Freddy. ''Your mom was sick with worry'', he had said to me but I just went past him, Toby right behind me. ''If you don't go apologise to her once she's awake I'll take toby away and lock him behind the boards just like the others''. I got mad and wanted to yell but he never yelled back or cried like mom or gave in like Cobe, he'd just stand and watch until I was too tired to scream. ''Or you could meet Mrs. Morgan and talk with her instead of mommy or me or Cobe'', he'd suggested but I hate Mrs. Morgan. She, just like Freddy, doesn't yell or cry when I scream and she always tells me to leave you be, just like all the other adults. But adults would never get it, so I had left into my room, cursing him and Sam and Mrs. Morgan and mom with all the bad words I knew.

And though Sam isn't an adult, she and her friends and the other kids just always talked in quiet and judging voices, just like the adults. In my room the voices began to nag at me but I just put on our favourite song and now I am writing you this letter. Hopefully mom won't wake up too soon so I don't have to apologise. I ht having o say sorry to her when she's the one that makes me hate it here. I wish I could have wnet away with you. But then again, I'll be waiting until you come back.

Sincerely, Me.