For Soojin, August is the slowest month of the year. Nothing happens during August, except for the incessant heat and humidity. Although, she can’t complain about this August because it passed by so quickly. She’s been occupied with training her new intern, Soyeon, in addition to a few more responsibilities that she’d picked up. Especially, her new role as the sole lunch provider for one Yeh Shuhua. Thinking of the younger woman makes her smile unknowingly. What a strange character that one is … Shuhua is like a very clingy puppy, who says such cheesy lines. Her cheesiness almost rivals that of Soojin’s attending, Moon Byulyi. And that thought makes Soojin shudder and laugh at the same time.

Every day for the past few weeks, Soojin has been packing lunch for two. In her small, yet comfy apartment, the kitchen is the most prominent area due to her love for cooking. She has two containers set on the counter, both identical with the same amount of pasta, veggies, and protein in them. Feeding a growing puppy like Shuhua isn’t easy, the young girl seems to inhale the food as quickly as possible so she could stare and bat her lashes at Soojin.

Soojin is unsure why she is actually packing for Shuhua, but it makes her happy to do so. She likes to see the genuine happiness on Shuhua’s face when they eat together. This world already has so much sadness, Soojin feels that a little happiness isn’t going to hurt anyone.

—

“Does that make sense to you, Shuhua?” Dr. Seo Juhyun asks her intern after explaining the treatment plan for a particular patient.

Currently, Dr. Seo and Shuhua are in Dr. Seo’s office, going over notes from the morning’s rounds. Shuhua is seated across from Dr. Seo’s desk.

“Yes, it does!” Shuhua smiles and nods. Dr. Seo is so easy to understand and she has such a nice calming affect on Shuhua. It’s not that Shuhua doesn’t like her other attendings, it’s just that they are kind of pushy whereas Dr. Seo is laid back. She enjoy learning without so much pressure to pick a favorite sub-specialty, something that Dr. Seo never pushed on her before. Also, because Dr. Seo shares the same surname as the woman of her dream, Seo Soojin.

At the thought of Soojin, Shuhua starts to be in a daze. She likes everything about Soojin. From the way she smiles coyly with her catlike eyes to her soft, feminine voice. She likes the way Soojin talks. She likes the way Soojin walks. She likes Soojin’s cooking. She likes the way Soojin looks at her. She likes the way Soojin gets annoyed with her. Normally a crush would have subsided by now, but her desire for Soojin grows stronger each day. She doesn’t want to sleep with her or anything … well, not yet anyways … Shuhua just wants to be with Soojin. All day. Everyday.

“Earth to Shuhua …?” Dr. Seo waves a hand in front of Shuhua’s face.

“Erm … sorry about that.” Shuhua’s cheeks warm with a pink tint.

“Are you alright?” There is a mild note of concern is Dr. Seo’s voice.

“Yes … I … ah …”

“Thinking about Seo Soojin?” Dr. Seo asks with a knowing smile.

Shuhua’s mouth drops as her eyes widen. “Wha- … how?”

“People talk, Shuhua.” Dr. Seo gestures around to nothing in particular. “It’s a big hospital, but it’s an insular world. People tend to remember when you’re the only Gen surgical intern, who follows a second year Cardio resident around like a lovesick puppy.”

“Lovesick puppy?” Shuhua is offended. It may be true, but it makes her sound pathetic.

“Is that not true?”

“Well …” Shuhua is slow to respond when it’s the truth. She’s not ashamed of who she is or who she likes. “Yes, it is. People shouldn’t gossip so much, though.”

“I agree.” Dr. Seo nods in sympathy and leans forward, resting her folded arms on her desk. “I don’t have a problem with who you date, just don’t let it affect your work.”

Shuhua nods, “You don’t have to worry about that. I won’t let my personal feelings affect my work.” She feels pride in her work. She wants to be a better doctor and surgeon. She wants to be someone Soojin would think is admirable.

“Good. I’m glad that you are thinking clearly … I hope you are adjusting well to the hospital.” Dr. Seo changes the subject once she knows that she doesn’t have to worry about the SooShu situation.

“Yes, ma’am.” Shuhua relaxes a little. “Everyone has been so kind and generous here.”

“Not pushy?” Dr. Seo asks with a slight raise of her brow.

“Well that, too.” Shuhua chuckles. “But a good kind of pushy … I’m getting spoiled.”

“I’m glad you know that my fellow attendings don’t mean any harm or pressure when we fight for you.” Dr. Seo nods. “We’ve been waiting for an intern for a while, we’re just excited to have you.”

“With all due respect, Dr. Seo. I haven’t seen you fight over me … ever.”

“Just because you didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.”

“Oh.”

Dr. Seo chuckles and winks at Shuhua. “I’m not pushy like the others, but I have my ways.”

“Oh …” Shuhua blushes deeply.

“Alright, I have a departmental meeting in a little bit. You’re dismissed until after lunch. Work on your research some more. After lunch, I have a minor project for you to start.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” Shuhua stands up and bows slightly before she steps out of the room.

She wonders if Soojin had heard rumors about them and what the older woman thinks about such rumors.

—

In a small hospital room, Minnie and Yuqi are standing over the bed of a young girl.

“Yuqi, I want you to meet my favorite patient, Jung Somi.” Minnie smiles softly and pats the head of the smiling child. “Somi, I want you to meet Dr. Song Yuqi, my intern.”

“Hi Somi, you can can call me Yuqi.” Yuqi waves enthusiastically.

Somi looks up to Minnie with a puzzled look. “Minnie-unnie, what’s an intern?”

“Basically, it means I’m in charge of her and she has to do what I say.” Minnie shrugs.

Yuqi opens to protest.

“Oh, like a Minion?” Somi blinks innocently.

“Yes, exactly like a Minion … one with two N’s. Get it? Minnion?” Minnie laughs at her own childish joke as Somi starts to laugh along.

“HEY!” Yuqi protests.

“So that means you’re Gru?” Somi asks between laughter. It’s Yuqi’s turn to laugh.

“HEY!” Minnie protests.

Yuqi chuckles as Minnie pretends to pout. She looks down to study Somi, a child who is so sweet and funny. A child who has stage 4 malignant gliomas. She’s only 10 y.o. But she’s been in and out of hospitals for the majority of her life. Her skin is so pale that you can see her veins. She wears a hospital gown along with a woven cap to keep her shaved head warm. It’s a miracle that someone who’s suffered for almost all her life could laugh and joke so easily. The thought alone makes Yuqi want to tear up.

“So, where are your parents, Somi?” Minnie asks as she pulls up a chair.

“Papa has to work today. Mama went home to make some food for me.” Somi smiles and reaches out to hold Minnie’s hand. They’ve only known each other for a year after meeting in the first week of Minnie’s intern year. Yet, it feels like they’ve known each other longer. Minnie used to sneak candy into Somi’s room when the adults are away. Minnie never treat Somi like just a patient or a zoo animal or just a chart.

“Mmm … I hope she brings enough for me, too. I like the seaweed soup that she made for your birthday.” Minnie gently squeezes Somi’s hand. “Speaking of which, next month is your birthday already.”

“Yeah.” Somi smiles happily. “I can’t wait! Mama and Papa said they’ll take me to an amusement park if I do well with this next round of chemo.”

Minnie looks up at Yuqi, who’s scribbling loudly into Somi’s chart. “Yuqi, what are you going to get Somi for her birthday?”

“Me?” Yuqi stops her writing to look between the two.

“You’re getting me something for my birthday?” Somi asks with a happy surprised look. Who could say no to that?

“Wh-What would you like?” Yuqi feels put on the spot, but she’s not very upset about it. “I don’t know what young people like these days.”

“Um …” Somi starts to think.

“You don’t have to rush, you can tell me later.” Yuqi smiles and writes down her info on a piece of paper. “You can send me a message or wait until the next time we see each other.”

“Okay!” Somi happily accepts the paper. “I will!”

“Well, look at you two getting along. I feel like I’m a third wheel here.” Minnie pouts.

“What are you going to get Somi for her birthday, then?” Yuqi laughs.

“Hm …” Minnie pretends to think about it and then shakes her head. “It’s a surprise!”

“You got me something already?”

“Yes. But you won’t get it until I’ve got a piece of your birthday cake.” Minnie smiles her squinty smile.

“Yay! I can’t wait!” Somi claps her hands before reaching over to her bag on the night stand next to her bed. She pulls out a little digital camera and shows it to Yuqi. “Last year, Minnie-unnie gave me this camera. I’ve taken so many pictures to document all my memories …” Suddenly, Somi frowns and touches her forehead.

“Headache?” Minnie asks worriedly.

“Yes …” Somi hisses in pain, her eyes tearing up, and squeezes Minnie’s hand harder.

“Should I call …” Yuqi looks at the button to dial a nurse.

“Do you want us to ask for medications, Somi?” Minnie reaches over to gently Somi’s head through the cap.

“No.” Somi shakes her head. “The medicine makes me sleep all day … I want to see mama when she comes back.” Somi fights back the tears, having dealt with this pain for so long, it feels like it’s a part of her now.

“Okay … but if it gets to be too much …” Minnie softly rubs Somi’s shoulder. It’s rare for Minnie to be so gentle and not silly or sarcastic. Yuqi takes in the interaction and stays silent as to not disturb the two. As she starts to read the chart again to distract herself, the door slides open.

“Mama!” Somi’s pained expression switches to happiness for a moment.

“Somi, are you okay?” A young woman, who doesn’t look much older than Yuqi, enters the room and closes the door behind her. As a mother, she quickly takes in her child’s distress and hurries right to Somi’s side.

“Just a headache, mama.” Somi nods and turns toward Minnie. “Minnie-unnie said she’s already got a birthday present for me, mama.”

The woman looks at Minnie with such sad, yet grateful eyes, “Thank you, Dr. Kim.”

Minnie nods and pats Somi’s hand. “I’ll let you eat your mama’s food and rest. We’ve already sent for labs and test, but page me if you need anything and call for medications if it hurts too much, okay?” Minnie rises and gives Somi’s cheek a little squeeze.

“Alright, alright. See you later, Minnie-unnie. See you later, Yuqi-unnie.” Somi tries to be bright despite her pain.

Even Yuqi could tell that Somi’s hurting badly. She doesn’t want to leave the room in that situation, but she just waves to both the mother and daughter before following Minnie out of the room.

Once the door has closed behind them, Minnie takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. “Alright, what’s next?”

Yuqi is now familiar with the routine and system after a month. Minnie has put her in charge of their day to day schedule for the most part.

“Are you alright?” Yuqi asks while Minnie continues to walk ahead of her, not looking back. For some reason, Minnie’s back look so sad to Yuqi.

“Yeah. What’s next?” Minnie asks again, louder this time. She is not ready to talk about this. She doesn’t want to cry in front of her intern. Not a lot gets to Minnie, except for children and the elderly.

“Meeting with the chief resident before lunch.”

“Ugh.”

Yuqi can feel that. It’s a meeting with all the other residents, where patients are treated as cases and discussed as room numbers. It’s a great learning opportunity, but it always turns out so boring and impersonal.

“Let’s get some tea before the meeting.” Minnie sighs again.

“I’m going to need something stronger than that.”

—

It’s lunch time in the cafeteria again. To Miyeon, it feels almost like high school, because she’s meeting her friends in the same spot day in and day out. Even though they each have their own busy schedule, somehow they’ve managed to have lunch with each other for the majority of the days. Not everyone may be present at the same time, but they share meals more often that she’d expected. Now that their group has doubled, Miyeon feels so much happier.

Before, it was just Soojin and Minnie, who either bickered or ignored each other. Now, Miyeon has little interns who are sweet and funny  … for the most part. There’s still a lot of bickering, but it always brings laughter somehow.

Today, Miyeon is joined by Soojin, Shuhua, and Soyeon. It’s a strange dynamic. Minnie and Yuqi messaged ahead, saying that they’re going to be late to lunch because the chief resident ran late today. Shuhua is trying to sit as close to Soojin as possible, while Soojin is trying to push her away. Soyeon is reading some type of manga magazine, of all things.

“What are you reading, Soyeon?” Miyeon asks out of curiosity.

Soyeon looks up from behind the magazine and looks a bit put on the spot. “Oh … my favorite manga, One Piece.”

“Is it … in Japanese?” Miyeon asks incredulously and motions at the characters on the cover.

Soyeon nods. “Shonen Jump, newest issue.”

“Wow, that’s pretty cool. You can read Japanese?”

“Kind of. I’m not fluent, but I know enough. I can always look up the unfamiliar characters.” Soyeon explains, her voice getting quieter as she notices Soojin and Shuhua listening in, too.

“That’s amazing, Soyeon.” Shuhua nods in approval.

“Well, you can speak and read Taiwanese, so it’s not that impressive.” Soyeon tries to sound humble.

“I think both of you are amazing.” Miyeon smiles sweetly and claps her hands together. “Right?” She looks to Soojin, who nods in agreement.

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late.” Minnie and Yuqi carry their food trays toward the table and join the group. Miyeon moves her bag from the seat that she is saving for Minnie.

 Currently, Miyeon is between Minnie and Soyeon. Across the table, Shuhua is between Soojin and Yuqi.

“What are you guys talking about?” Yuqi looks across her at Soyeon and Miyeon.

“Soyeon can read Japanese.” Miyeon points toward Soyeon’s magazine.

“It’s manga, so it’s nothing …”

As Soyeon humbly tries to explain, Yuqi’s loud voice interrupts. “Wow! That’s amazing! I didn’t know that, you didn’t tell me!” She compliments and complains at the same time. Something that only Yuqi can do.

“It never came up …” Soyeon tries to explain again, only to be interrupted by Shuhua this time.

“Why not? You should say that whenever you meet someone. I’m a genius and I know Japanese is what you should always start with.” Shuhua jumps on the tease-Soyeon-bandwagon.

“Yeah. And she fixes hearts, too.” Yuqi turns to exchange a look with Shuhua.

“She heals and haikus.” Shuhua starts to laugh.

Finding herself at the receiving end of a tease, Soyeon turns on her warning face. She sticks her tongue to the side of her cheek and turns her sanpaku eyes toward the two teasers. Shuhua, being not as close to Soyeon, immediately stops and pretends to look elsewhere. Meanwhile, Yuqi being the loud girl that she is, continues to laugh.

Finally, Soojin, who has been eating and minding her business, clears . “If you guys keep teasing Soyeon, she’s not going to share things with you anymore.” She gives Soyeon an understanding look, Cardio kids have to stick together.

“We’re just teasing because it’s so hard to find things to about.” Yuqi smiles sweetly at Soyeon, “we know she’s amazing.”

Miyeon chuckles at the silliness of the younger women. They really liven up the table with their playfulness. Speaking of playfulness … Miyeon turns toward the quietest person at the table right now. Minnie’s fork is digging into her food, moving things around but not picking anything up to eat. Her eyes seem as far away as if physically she’s here, but mentally she’s somewhere else.

Miyeon reaches over and gives Minnie’s thigh a gentle squeeze, a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by Soyeon. Minnie snaps out of her reverie and turns to look at Miyeon, but not really recognizing her worry.

“How’s your day going?” Miyeon asks with a smile.

“Good.” Minnie nods and turns her attention to her food. At least she picks up a piece or two to eat.

Having known Minnie for a long time, Miyeon recognizes when the woman is in a mood. Minnie laughs often and cries just as easily. She’s too in touched with her feelings sometimes. When Minnie gets to be like this, Miyeon worries about how long it will take for her to get over it.

“I heard that Somi’s visiting?” Miyeon puts it as pleasantly as she could.

“Yeah.” A soft sigh from Minnie tells Miyeon the exact source of the other woman’s distraction.

“How is she?”

“Having bad headaches again. We’ve scheduled tests and labs to see if the growth has spread and if we can excise it.”

“Do you want to visit her with me later?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

Being a pediatric surgeon, Miyeon has treated Somi at the Children’s Hospital a few times. She may not be as closed to Somi as Minnie, but she is very fond of the kid. She knows how much Minnie care about her and that makes Miyeon care, too.

Yuqi and Soyeon exchanges look when they find the older women chatting to themselves. Miyeon seems concerned as she talks in a soft tone, making it hard to decipher what they’re actually saying. Minnie nods here and there, seeming to be in a mood. Having witnessed a private moment between the two earlier in the month, Yuqi and Soyeon have been paying attention to their interactions. As far as the Yuyeon duo knows, Miyeon and Minnie are best friends, nothing more.

Lunch continues with banter between the younger women while the older ones are quietly occupied with their own thoughts.

—

“Hey, Soyeon, wait a minute.” Yuqi calls after her friend as they exit the cafeteria. She is the last to dump her tray, so she’s just seconds behind the group.

Soyeon hangs back a few steps behind Soojin and Shuhua to wait for Yuqi to approach. “Yes?”

“Would you mind helping me practice suturing later?” Yuqi asks. Her expressive eye brows rising in a cute, pleading manner.

“Um … sure.” Soyeon nods. It’s not that Soyeon doesn’t want to help her friend, she is just surprised that Yuqi asked her, since Yuqi is actually very good at suturing from their past study sessions. She might even be able to show Soyeon a thing or two. “When and where?”

“I should be done around 5 today … how about 5:30 at the general conference room on the fourth floor?”

Another strange request. “The general conference room?” Soyeon’s brows knit together a little bit. Normally, they’d just stay in one of their offices. The two of them don’t require a whole conference room’s worth of space.

“Y-Yeah.” Yuqi avoids looking into Soyeon’s eyes. “Just in case Shuhua wants to join …”

Hearing her name, Shuhua turns back and blinks with her wide eyes. She looks between Soyeon and Yuqi, “Yeah. If I can wrap up my work by them, I’ll join you.”

The conference room is still a whole lot of space for just the three of them. Soyeon frowns in puzzlement, but she decides not to pursue it because Soojin is waiting for her inside the elevator.

“This is where we part.” Yuqi suddenly announces. “I’m going downstairs!” The girl runs off … acting more suspiciously than normal.

Shuhua looks at Soyeon and shrugs before turning to give Soojin a bright smile. “Have a good rest of your day, Soojin-unnie. Thank you for lunch! See you later~”

Soojin looks at Shuhua coolly before turning away.

Soyeon steps inside the elevator and wonders what’s going on with Yuqi.

—

Knock-knock.

Minnie gently raps on the door before sliding it open. Somi is propped up on a pillow, sitting and watching something on her tablet. She looks up when Minnie enters and offers a bright smile. “Hi again, Minnie-unnie!”

“Hey, Somi. Look who came to see you.” Minnie steps aside to let Miyeon enter the room.

“Hi, Somi~” Miyeon prances over and greets the child in her sing-song voice.

“Miyeon-unnie!” Somi puts down her tablet and reaches out to Miyeon with both hands.

They hold hands for a second, rocking back and forth and laughing together.

“Sorry I couldn’t come over right away, Somi. But I made Minnie bring me as soon as I could.” Miyeon touches Somi’s cheek and pats her hair.

“I understand you’re busy. I’m glad to see you … Miyeon-unnie, you got even prettier.”

“Aigoo … Somi, you’re the sweetest.” Miyeon reaches into her pocket and takes out a small pack of candy. “That’s why you’re my favorite.”

“Thank you, unnie.” Somi gratefully accepts the pack of sweets.

“Must be because all of the candy we keep giving her.” Minnie stands by Miyeon.

“I’m telling the truth. Miyeon-unnie is the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.” Somi’s eyes go wide as she tries to establish her honesty.

“Hey, how come you never say I’m pretty?” Minnie pretends to pout and turns to Miyeon. “How come it’s always Miyeon?”

Miyeon just smiles in with her eye-smile and pats Somi’s hair again. “Because Somi can only tell the truth. You don’t want to teach her to lie, do you?”

“Yah!” Minnie grasps the collar of Miyeon’s white coat while making a fist at her friend.

Somi laughs before pulling the two apart. “You’re pretty, too, Minnie-unnie. But you’re more cool than pretty. You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met.”

“It’s too late. I’m already upset.” Minnie folds her arms across her chest and turns away from Miyeon.

“Stop giving Somi a hard time. You’re going to give her a headache.” Miyeon pokes at Minnie’s cheeks.

“Minnie-unnie said she’s already got my birthday present.” Somi changes the subject. “Isn’t she so nice and cool?”

“The nicest and the coolest!” Miyeon chirps as Minnie tries to hide her smile.

They joke around for a little while before heading out to get their work done. Somi says her parents are coming soon. Her mom went to pick up her dad from work because his car is in the shop. The visit seems to have lifted Minnie’s spirit a little.

—

“Hurry and come inside.” Soojin calls to the person who’s creeping the door open just slightly. She could feel their eyes watching her.

“Awww, Soojin-unnie. You knew it was me?” Shuhua steps in with a bright smile and quickly closes the door behind her.

“You were staring.” Soojin replies and hands Shuhua a stack of paper plates. “Put these over there with the cups.”

“Yes, unnie.” Shuhua readily complies and runs over to a table where plastic wares, cups, and paper hats were sitting. She sets the plates down and runs right back to Soojin’s side. “Do you think she suspected anything?”

Soojin pauses and thinks before nodding. “I think after Yuqi’s little performance, she thinks something’s up … but I don’t think she knows what it is.”

“That Yuqi is a teeeeerrrible actress. She needs to brush up on her acting skills.” Shuhua laughs after stressing the “terrible” part.

“It was pretty bad.” Soojin shares a small smile.

“So, how did you distract her?” Shuhua asks, clearly meaning Soyeon.

Soojin is not proud of what she did, but it was necessary. “I … left her with Dr. Moon.” Soojin continues with her work. “I told them I had to take an emergency meeting …”

“Wow, unnie. That’s cold, even for you.”

“Well, I had to!” Soojin raises her voice for the first time in a while.

Shuhua grins from ear to ear, happy to hear Soojin’s sweet whiney voice. “Who knows what Dr. Moon is doing to poor Soyeon. She might be scarred for life.”

“I was alone with Dr. Moon for a year, I turned out fine.” Soojin huffs, trying to defend her betrayal.

“And you are fiiiiiiine, unnie.” Shuhua exaggerates her wink.

“Arrrgh.” Soojin lets out a loud groan. Shuhua should be Dr. Moon’s resident instead, they are a good match for each other with the greasiness. She hates that she keep setting herself up for these lame lines.

Shuhua laughs. “I hope Soyeon will be okay.”

“Miyeon will be here in a second.” Soojin changes the subject.

“Oh.” Shuhua pouts, not wanting a third-wheel in her private Soojin time.

“Minnie said she’ll be here as soon as she finishes some case work.” Soojin pretends not to see Shuhua’s pout.

“Oh.” Shuhua hopes that Minnie would distract Miyeon enough for her to solely occupy Soojin.

“Make yourself useful and put these up …” Soojin hands Shuhua some decorations.

“Okay, unnie!” Shuhua likes it when Soojin directs her around. Shuhua does the work she’s assigned, but she frequently stops to steal glances at Soojin. Once or twice, the older woman catches her staring and gives her a cold stare. They have become more comfortable being alone with each other. Soojin seems relaxed and not agitated, like she can act sometimes.

—

Hurry. Hurry. Must hurry.

Minnie’s footsteps echo in the neverending corridors. The panic expression on her face makes people jumps out of the way to let her sprint past them.

Somi needs emergency surgery.

Her headaches were more than headaches.

Minnie feels as if she is barely moving through these hallways that look all the same. From her office to the surgical room should not take this long. In this building where every seconds count, Minnie needs to be faster. When she  reaches her destination, Minnie quickly pulls back her hair, dons a bonnet, scrubs her fingers and arms … all the things that she’s required to do, but today she has little patience for it all.

Finally, Minnie steps into the operating room. Somi is lying there on the table, unmoving and already intubated. She looks so lifeless. Minnie hesitates at the doorway, even though she’s assisted in two of Somi’s surgeries before … this time feels strange.

“Dr. Kim. You’re here.” Another neurosurgeon, Dr. Jung, is here. Minnie’s teacher, Dr. Kim Yongsun, is at a conference in another city. Minnie wishes she was here. Not that Dr. Jung lacks in skills or anything, but Minnie has full faith in Dr. Kim … and she needs her support right now.

“Are you going to stand there forever?” Dr. Jung asks again as he steps up to the scope. He looks at her with expectant eyes, as if to tell her to get a hold of herself. He’s treated Somi before as well.

“Sorry, sir.” Minnie takes a deep breath and steps up to the table as the assisting resident. She can do this. She has to do this. She wills her hand into steadiness and picks up the scalpel to hand to Dr. Jung.

—

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” A loud cheer erupts as soon as Soyeon steps into the conference room. Someone flips the lights on and the small woman is instantly blinded before her eyes adjust to show a group of smiling faces in front of her. “Happy Birthday, Soyeon!” They cheer again. The faces were familiar, she doesn’t know all the names but she has been in meetings or groups with most of them. Other than Miyeon, Soojin, and Shuhua, everyone else appear to be Cardiothoracic residents or attendings. The room is decorated with a banner that reads ‘Happy Birthday’ and some bright color balloons.

“Happy birthday, friend.” Shuhua smiles brightly and puts a conical birthday hat on top of Soyeon’s head.

Soyeon is still uncertain of what is happening. These kinds of things do not happen to her. Ever.

Things like party, friends, cake … cake?!

The group parts into two and Soyeon’s eyes fall upon Yuqi, who approaches with a cake and candles. The cake reads ‘Happy Birthday, Jeon Soyeon’ in red lettering. This party is definitely for her, Soyeon concludes.

“Happy birthday to you …” Yuqi starts to sing in a deep melodic voice, then Miyeon’s high vocal, before Soojin and Shuhua’s sweeter tones follow. Then the whole room serenades Soyeon with the traditional song. “…and many more …”

Soyeon, who has been suspecting a prank from Yuqi instead, is so surprised that she is frozen without knowing how to react. She cannot deny that her cheeks are sore from the wide, toothy smile that has stretched across her face.

“Blow on it, silly.” Yuqi quietly whispers when the song finished and Soyeon is still just staring at the cake.

“Wait, she has to make a wish first.” Shuhua quickly interrupts.

“Yeah.” Someone else said before the whole room starts chanting, “Wish. Wish. Wish …”

Soyeon blinks quickly and nods before closing her eyes. What should she wish for? She loves her work. She loves her life. She’s content … and now she has friends who would throw birthday parties for her. She’s no longer the quiet nerd who studies all the time and does her own thing. She has loving, wonderful friends. What else could she wish for in life? She debates herself before making her wish and opening her eyes to blow on the candles.

“Hooray!” The room cheers. Quite an enthusiastic group. Though, Soyeon suspects that they’re just excited because they can cut the cake now. In this setting of life and death, they look for any chance to celebrate.

Yuqi lets Soojin handle the cake cutting since the older woman is a lot more comfortable with it. “Soooo?” The Chinese woman smiles at her friend. “Are you surprised?”

“It’s quite a large suturing practice group.” Soyeon shares Yuqi’s smile. “Whose idea was it?” She asks even though she already knows the answer.

“It’s mine, of course.” Yuqi exclaims. “Who else would be so thoughtful and kind to plan all this out?”

“How did you know it’s my birthday?”

“I did a little snooping … don’t worry about it. As soon as I found out that it’s August 26th, I had to act right away.”

“You did this all by yourself?”

“Oh no. Everyone pitched in to help. Soojin and Shuhua did the decorations. Miyeon and Minnie brought the drinks and snacks. I brought the cake and did the invites.” Yuqi lists the efforts that went into this little shindig.

Soyeon suddenly feels her eyes well up, despite her mind fiercely protesting.

“Aww, you really like it, huh?” Yuqi smiles and hands Soyeon a napkin to dab her eyes. “I’m happy that you were born on this day, Jeon Soyeon. I’m thankful for you as a friend.”

Soyeon couldn’t contain herself anymore. Yuqi was seriously trying to make her cry. She gently reaches over and pushes Yuqi’s shoulder. “Thank you …” She dabs the happy tears from her eyes. She’s so thankful for these people in her life, especially Song Yuqi.

—

“I’m so sorry … ” Minnie stands with her eyes downcast and her hands squeezing tightly in each other. She could barely listen to Dr. Jung deliver the news. There is a quiet ringing in her ears. “…too much bleeding.” Minnie feels like she is a spectator in this plane of existence, where Somi is no longer smiling and laughing and asking for candy. She is merely watching everything happen as her mind is numb.

“Oh no! Not my Somi!” Somi’s mom wails as she collapses into her husband’s arms. “Not my baby!”

Dr. Jung stands beside Minnie, with the same posture and expression. In fact, the whole OR staff came out to delivery the news. Minnie is not alone in this, but she feels more alone than ever. She should have known those headaches were more than just normal ones. She should have pushed for tests and scans sooner … if they had seen it sooner, they could’ve done so much more.

“W-What happened?” Somi’s dad holds his wife tightly as he tearful demands answers. “She was fine this morning when I came to see her!”

Dr. Jung takes a moment to compose himself. “The headaches that she was experiencing were ischemic … she experienced a major one right before falling into a coma. We tried to repair the bleeding while removing the parts of the tumor that were invading several major parts of brain, including the autonomous parts that regulate her heart and lungs.” He couldn’t say that Somi went peacefully, having stopped breathing altogether. It wasn’t a painful death, but it’s the death of two people’s beloved daughter. The daughter that they fought tooth and nail to keep alive for all these years.

Minnie could not breath. She stands there, frozen like a statue, unable to look at Somi’s grieving parents. What does she say to give them even the slightest amount of peace? What can one say in this situation.

Seconds, then minutes go by before Somi’s parents are being escorted away to see their daughter one last time. The staff disperse to go on with their tasks. Dr. Jung gives Minnie’s shoulder a gentle pat before going to see his next patient. Soon, Minnie is alone in this empty waiting room. Empty like her heart and head. How could these empty things feel so heavy? She doesn’t cry. She can’t. Even if her eyes burn and her lungs ache, she doesn’t deserve to cry. Had she been a better doctor, Somi would have lived. Had she paid more attention to this kid, whom she cared so much more, Somi’s parents would still have a daughter.

Minnie needs to get out of this room, but her feet feels as if she is rooted in place. She needs to go … do something. Anything.

—

“Have you seen Minnie?” Miyeon asks Soojin and Shuhua after looking around the room. The party is starting to wind down after going strong for a little over an hour. Residents and attendings have come and gone, yet still no sight of Minnie.

“No. I haven’t seen her since lunch, actually.” Soojin shakes her head, now noticing Minnie’s absence as well. She has been preoccupied with Shuhua’s clinginess. “She should have been here by now …”

Miyeon frowns slightly. It’s not like Minnie to be late without notifying them, that’s usually Miyeon’s thing. She looks around the room and weaves through the people toward Yuqi. “Hey …” Miyeon feels bad for interrupting Yuqi and Soyeon’s discussion. They seem to be even closer now. “Have you seen Minnie?”

Yuqi suddenly remembers her resident. She looks around with knitted brows. “No. She’s not here?” She shakes her head, “I don’t think she had anything on her schedule for this afternoon. She said she cleared it when I asked her about it last week.” Reaching into her pockets, Yuqi pulls out her phone and pager. No messages pending.

“I wonder …” Miyeon starts, but someone steps in closer to them. Another neurosurgery resident.

“If you’re looking for Minnie, I don’t think she’ll make it today.” He says after swallowing a piece of cake. There’s still icing stuck on his upperlip. “One of her patients died in surgery. I heard Dr. Jung say it was Somi.” He states so plainly, as if it was a normal thing for a child to pass away like that.

“No …” Yuqi feels unsteady, stepping backward and leaning against the edge of a table to steady herself. She just met the girl this morning. It feels so shocking for her to be dead already.

Miyeon wastes no time. She turns her heels and rushes out of the room. She knows what it feels like to lose a patient. To lose to young patient. It’s something that she’s gone through several times in her past year … but Minnie … Sensitive Minnie, who became so attached to Somi …

Miyeon doesn’t know where she’s going, but she knows she needs to find Minnie. As she alternates between powerwalking and jogging through the hallways, she constantly dials Minnie’s number, hoping that the woman will answer. It keeps ringing and going to voicemail. She rushes down to the room where Somi was this afternoon. She couldn’t step inside. Only Somi’s parents were there, packing up their things and crying as they do so. Miyeon wanted to say something, but nothing could make them feel any better. Right now, she just wants to find Minnie. Next, she rushes to the resident lounge. Minnie isn’t there. Next, the Neurosurgery resident office sits empty. Miyeon, breathless and worried, is starting to run out of places to check. She should probably check the parking garage to see if Minnie’s car is still there.

As Miyeon starts for the garage, something in her head makes her turn the opposite way. It’s the last place that Miyeon wants to look, but it’s on this same floor so she might as well check.

The morgue’s door is heavier than most of the doors in the hospital. It carries a certain gravity with it as Miyeon pushes it open. She bows slightly to the morgue staff, who looks at her and then nods toward a door to the right side of the room. Miyeon’s heart thumps in her chest as she steps toward the indicated door. Miyeon hates coming here. The stagnant scent of cleaners to hide the smell of death lingers in the air. It feels cold and clammy. The lights are too bright and fluorescent.

The door opens and there stands Minnie at the end of a table. On the table, a white sheet covers Somi’s body from head to toe. At Somi’s feet lays a teddy bear, some candy, and other toys. Minnie stands motionlessly and just stares at the covered body.

“Minnie …” Miyeon softly calls out.

The Thai girl looks at her with the most empty, haggard eyes. She makes no movement or sound before looking back to Somi’s body.

Miyeon comes closer to her friend and reaches to hold Minnie’s hand. It’s so cold. Minnie barely registers the gesture. Miyeon gently squeezes her friend’s hand. “You can’t stay here, Minnie.” She reaches over and cups Minnie’s cheek, turning Minnie’s face toward her. Reluctantly, Minnie’s eyes follow and eventually meets her gaze. “Let’s go home …” Miyeon can tell that Minnie is not all there. She speaks as softly and calmly as possible.

“Home …” Minnie murmurs.

Miyeon nods. “Home. I’ll take you home.”

Minnie hesitates to leave Somi here all alone. “Can we stay for a while? The funeral home is coming to take her in a bit.” Her voice is a soft, pleading tone.

“Okay.” Miyeon can’t say no right now.

They stay like that, holding hands, until Somi is taken away by the funeral home.

—

“Are you going home, Soojin-unnie?” Shuhua waits for Soojin by the elevator. How does the younger woman know when Soojin would get there? Well, she has her ways.

Soojin looks at Shuhua with mild surprise and feign annoyance. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, I just happened to be here … waiting for this elevator so I can go down.” Shuhua’s innocent pretense is easy to spot.

“Huh.” Soojin looks at the elevator’s unlit down button, which means it hasn’t been pressed yet. She sighs and presses the button while Shuhua stares at her unblinkingly.

Any person would be flattered by the attention of such a pretty girl. Any other person would be agitated by the clinginess of said girl. However, Soojin feels neither flattered nor agitated. Rather, she just feels puzzled. Why does this girl like her so much? Soojin likes to feed Shuhua because the girl enjoys her cooking. Soojin doesn’t care for the cheesiness or the clinginess, but she doesn’t hate it either.

-Bing-Bong-

The elevator arrives and Soojin steps in, followed closely by Shuhua.

“Do I annoy you, Soojin-unnie?” Shuhua suddenly asks when they are alone inside the steel box.

Soojin turns to her and gives her a leveled look. “No.” She turns away again.

Shuhua smiles brightly. “Really?”

“But if you keep questioning my answer, I might get annoyed.” Soojin presses the button for the parking level.

“Would it be okay if I walk you to your car?” Shuhua presses the fingertips of her index fingers together and shyly asks.

Soojin raises her brow slightly, amused at Shuhua’s first sign of bashfulness. “Why?”

“I just want to.” Shuhua smiles again. “Can I? Please?”

Soojin presses her lips together to keep from smiling back. It takes a second for her to control her face. “It’s public space, I can’t stop you.”

Shuhua almost jump for joy. That’s a yes for Soojin! They have advanced to another level, where Soojin doesn’t threaten to mace Shuhua for following her anymore. If anything, Shuhua is persistent and she is succeeding so far.

—

-Click-

Miyeon locks the door behind her after letting herself and Minnie into her apartment. She decided that she didn’t want Minnie to be alone right now. The younger woman takes off her shoes and moves like a zombie into Miyeon’s livingroom. “I’ll order us some food to eat. What do you feel like, Minnie?” She asks, knowing the response would be a head-shake.

Minnie stands by the window and looks out at Seoul’s night scene.

“You have to eat something. You barely ate lunch today.” Miyeon stands beside her with a hand on Minnie’s upperback.

“I’m fine, Miyeon-ah. I just need … time...”

“Alone?” Miyeon asks before Minnie can finish her sentence. “I’m not going to let that happen.” Miyeon’s not usually stubborn, but once she’s settled into it, she can rival the best of them.

Minnie knows this and just sighs in response.

“C’mon, I’ll get the shower nice and hot for you. I have some clothes you can change into.” Miyeon’s clothes may be a little short for Minnie, but she has a few loose fitting PJs that are right up Minnie’s alley.

“Miyeon, you don’t have to worry about me.” Minnie reaches for Miyeon’s hand as the older woman turns away. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know. But as your … best friend, I can worry about you all I want.” Miyeon squeezes Minnie’s hand. She hesitated, but ‘best friends’ the best description for where they are right now.

Minnie lets Miyeon go get a change of clothes and shower ready. She could hear the water running and soon, Miyeon’s soft voice calls her name. “Minnie-ah, water’s ready.” Minnie drags her heavy body to the bathroom, where Miyeon has laid out a pair of PJs and package of new undergarments for her. The hot water from the shower is already making the room humid with steam.

“Thank you.” Minnie voices her appreciation for the first time since Miyeon found her in the hospital morgue.

Miyeon smiles, her eyes softens, and nods. “I’ll look for food to order while you get refreshed.” She gently pats the side of Minnie’s arm before slipping past the Thai woman to make her way out of the room.

Just as Miyeon brushes by Minnie, she feels Minnie’s arm snaking around her waist and pulling her against Minnie. Confused, she looks up to Minnie’s dark eyes, hidden behind the thick bangs.

“Minnie-ah …” Miyeon quietly tries to reason with Minnie. As much as she wants this friendship to advance, she’s not one to take advantage of this situation.

Minnie steps closer and leans down, her face hovering just a breath away from Miyeon’s. “It’s okay.” She reads Miyeon’s mind and she knows this shouldn’t happen in this circumstances. But right now, Minnie wants to feel something else. Something that is not the immense sadness and self-loathing that she feels.

Miyeon wants to protest. She knows better. But Minnie’s lips are oh-so-warm. They feel so gentle and sweet when they press against Miyeon’s own lips. She reciprocates, ling gently on Minnie’s pouty lower lip and wanting to kiss it better. She feels Minnie’s hands on her waist, pulling her closer, while pushing her against the bathroom counter. There is an unspoken want between them and it’s not the first time they have pushed the line of friendship.

Minnie’s kisses are unpredictable just like her. One day, they are soft and tender. Another day, they’re rough and bruising. Miyeon could tell that at this time, the soft and tender kind is what is needed for both of them. After a string of little kisses, they stare at each other for a moment that feels like eternity before Minnie sidesteps to close the bathroom door, making her intention known. Miyeon watches her as steam builds in the room. They look at each other for a moment, beholding the other in each’s eyes before undressing.

—

“Thank you for the wonderful party.” Soyeon smiles at Yuqi, seated beside her on the bus. She looks down at the bag sitting at her feet, which holds all the little presents that her friends have gotten her. Little trinkets that she will cherish for the rest of her life. Especially the slippers that Yuqi gave her. She will never ever wear them. They will be enshrined in a friendship box for life.

“Happy Birthday … if I hadn’t said it already.” Yuqi jokes and bumps shoulder with Soyeon. “Don’t be all mushy now. That’s what friends are for, celebrating each other and stuff.”

“Thank you anyways.” Soyeon smiles and bumps shoulder back at Yuqi. “If you didn’t know, I don’t have many friends …” She hesitates when opening up about herself, “so I really really appreciate what you guys did for me.” She shyly glances sideway at Yuqi, not able to meet her friend’s eyes.

Yuqi is speechless for the first time in a while. She never would’ve thought that she would see this vulnerable side of Soyeon. Hearing Soyeon’s appreciation makes Yuqi turn bright red. How is she this cute?

“Uh … urm …” Yuqi clears . “My mom sent me my high school report card this morning … I scored a 100 in Math back in highschool.” Yuqi dies the moment those words escaped her lips. She couldn’t think of anything else to say?

“Huh?” Soyeon looks at her with the weirdest confused look. “What?”

“And Physics. I had a 100 there, too.” Yuqi wants to jump off this bus. What is wrong with her brain?

“Okay …?” Soyeon is confused how her birthday party discussion turned into Yuqi’s report card announcement. “Congratulations?”

“Thank you.” Yuqi will promptly drop out of residency and move back to China after she gets home to pack.

There is a moment of silence between the both of them before Soyeon’s stifled giggles starts, only to be followed by Yuqi’s loud laughter. It is such an awkward thing that just happened, they have no other choice by to laugh it out.

“Wow, Yuqi. I didn’t know you were so proud … of your high school grades.” Soyeon chuckles.

Yuqi shakes her head. “I don’t know what came over me. Please don’t tell anyone about that.” She laughs along with Soyeon. “Oh God, you must think I’m a freak after this.”

“Oh no.” Soyeon exaggeratedly shakes her head. “I thought you were a freak waaaaay before this. You just confirmed it.”

“Yah!” Yuqi pushes Soyeon’s shoulder. “Everyone’s allowed a brainfart or two, okay?”

“Wow, Yuqi. Now you’re bragging about your gassy brain? Is that how you got your 100’s?” Soyeon is merciless once she’s started. Yuqi makes it fun to because of her expressive face and her flair for the dramatic. Ever since she met Yuqi, Soyeon thinks she laughed more than the entirety of her medical school combined.

“I’m done with you, Jeon Soyeon!” Yuqi huffs as the bus pulls up to the stop and she steps off. “See if I’ll be planning anymore party for you.”

“Awww, c’mon Yuqi. I was just teasing.” Soyeon gathers her things and hops off the bus. The heaviness of carrying multiple things makes it hard for her to catch up to Yuqi’s quick walking pace. “Come back, Yuqi-ah.”

“No.” Yuqi stomps childishly.

The pair playfully bickers the whole way home.

—

-Click-

Miyeon locks the door again after accepting the bags of food from the delivery man. She makes sure to tip him generously for delivering so late at night. “Minnie-ah, food’s here.” She loudly calls out.

The sound of the hairdryer stops and Minnie emerges from the bathroom. Something inside Miyeon causes her to pause to take in the sight of Minnie wearing her PJs. No. Miyeon tells herself to get a grip. They have to eat.

“What did you order?” Minnie wraps her arms around Miyeon from behind.

“Your favorites.” Miyeon replies with a smile as a shiver travels down her spine when Minnie’s lips touch the skin of her neck.

“Thank you.” Minnie’s hot breath makes Miyeon burn with desire once more.

“Just eat well, okay?” Miyeon reaches behind and gives Minnie’s bottom a gentle smack.

“…” There’s silence before a quiet sob escapes Minnie’s throat. Then tears start to roll down the taller’s woman cheek and dampen Miyeon’s top.

Miyeon freezes and lets Minnie cry into her neck.

“I’m sorry … I just can’t stop thinking about her.” Minnie cries. “It’s all my fault.”

“No … Minnie, it isn’t.”

“It is! If I had taken her headaches more seriously … I thought it was just her normal headache. I don’t deserve to be a doctor.”

Miyeon turns around and wraps her arms around Minnie’s shoulders. She pulls her closer and let Minnie slump over her. Despite being shorter, Miyeon feels like Minnie is so much smaller right now. “It isn’t. You didn’t know. I was there and I didn’t know either … Somi is … was a brave girl, who liked you very much. She wouldn’t want you to take all the blame for something she’s battled all her life.”

Minnie continues to sob into the crook of Miyeon’s neck. Miyeon isn’t sure that the Thai woman can hear anything outside of her sorrow. But Miyeon is here, with food and a lot of patience. She’s determined to pull Minnie out of this dark place.